1 00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:04,000 Speaker 1: I accidentally bad mouthed my work buddies in front of them. 2 00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:10,240 Speaker 1: Now they're complaining to hr Good. So this happened just 3 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:12,800 Speaker 1: last night, and I'm still fringing every time I think 4 00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:15,560 Speaker 1: about it. I'm in this little online gaming group with 5 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:19,720 Speaker 1: some guys from work. We play every week, mostly Rocket 6 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:21,360 Speaker 1: League and Smite. 7 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:23,279 Speaker 2: Not familiar by the way. 8 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 1: This comes from scrambled Cube on the bor Updates subreddit. 9 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:30,880 Speaker 1: So anyway, we were deep in a match, things are 10 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 1: getting intense, and I get called out for making a 11 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:34,600 Speaker 1: dumb move. 12 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:35,760 Speaker 2: Fair. 13 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:39,440 Speaker 1: I'm already a little salty because it's been a long day, 14 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:41,360 Speaker 1: so I make a mental note to go on a 15 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:44,600 Speaker 1: small rant to my wife after the match. Well, right 16 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:47,000 Speaker 1: after we finish, I take my head set off and 17 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:49,120 Speaker 1: start venting to her about these guys. 18 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:54,760 Speaker 2: I'm thinking I muted my mic. Oh yeah, I guess, 19 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:56,600 Speaker 2: so damn mute the mic. 20 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 1: This guy who I'm telling her all the juicy stuff. 21 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:04,160 Speaker 1: I go off about every single one of my colleagues 22 00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:08,119 Speaker 1: in detail. Steve's such a try hard like dude, Calm down, 23 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:09,880 Speaker 1: It's a game, not a performance review. 24 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,480 Speaker 2: Why does Ryan always actly he knows everything? He's not 25 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:12,959 Speaker 2: the boss. 26 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,919 Speaker 1: Stop being so smug and oh my god, Ben's voice, 27 00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:19,000 Speaker 1: it's like nails on a chalk for it sometimes, and 28 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:24,479 Speaker 1: I keep going or what feels like forever. I even 29 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:28,399 Speaker 1: start bringing up stuff from the office. My wife is 30 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:32,199 Speaker 1: just nodding and laughing along, clearly enjoying my little roast fest. 31 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:35,680 Speaker 1: When I finally cool down and put my headset back on, 32 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,360 Speaker 1: I casually glance at the screen to jump back into 33 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:43,720 Speaker 1: the next game. Dead silence. The guys are still on 34 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:47,600 Speaker 1: the call, the chat is dead. No one's left, but 35 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:50,400 Speaker 1: no one is saying a word. It's like they've all 36 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:55,160 Speaker 1: collectively turned into ghosts. That's when it hits me. Oh 37 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,960 Speaker 1: my god, my mic wasn't muted. 38 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:01,120 Speaker 2: They heard everything. 39 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:02,840 Speaker 3: Oh. 40 00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:06,240 Speaker 1: I sit there for a solid ten seconds, completely frozen. 41 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 1: My brain's in panic mode. Should I say something, pretend 42 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:13,840 Speaker 1: nothing happened, close discord, and throw my PC into the ocean. 43 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:18,160 Speaker 1: I'm scrambling for some way, some way to salvage this 44 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:22,600 Speaker 1: absolute disaster. Finally, in a desperate attempt to break the silence, 45 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:27,120 Speaker 1: I clear my throat and go, oh, anyone. 46 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:28,840 Speaker 2: Wanta queue up again? 47 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:32,960 Speaker 4: At that moment, you just start bad talking your wife. 48 00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:36,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, You're like, damn, my wife, she out here having 49 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,720 Speaker 1: me talk crap. 50 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:42,720 Speaker 5: About you guys, while my wife is always threatening me 51 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:45,320 Speaker 5: unless I talk crap about my amazing. 52 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 2: More silence. Then Steve just goes. 53 00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:56,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, let's do that, no one else saying anything, we 54 00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:59,480 Speaker 1: play one more painfully awkward round where literally no one 55 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:03,360 Speaker 1: speaks except for like basic callouts left right out of 56 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:08,560 Speaker 1: me here, et cetera. I have never in my life 57 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:11,120 Speaker 1: experienced a more uncomfortable gaming session. 58 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:15,240 Speaker 4: I could see them being like, hey, uh, performance review 59 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:15,880 Speaker 4: coming on your. 60 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:21,760 Speaker 2: Left, really annoying voice on your right, metrics for you. 61 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:24,799 Speaker 1: As soon as we're done, I make up an excuse 62 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,760 Speaker 1: about needing to go do something and immediately log off. 63 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:31,360 Speaker 1: I'm still waiting for the fallout at work on Monday, 64 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:35,520 Speaker 1: and Bethany says say end scene, loudly pretending. 65 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:35,800 Speaker 2: Was this kid. 66 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:39,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, if Opie had realized he gonna be like 67 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:45,440 Speaker 1: hot jokes pranked y'all, eh. 68 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,600 Speaker 4: But sometimes you know, when it's real. 69 00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:49,080 Speaker 2: They would have known there's no way to get out 70 00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:49,240 Speaker 2: of that. 71 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:52,560 Speaker 1: You just kind of have to apologize, be like, sorry, guys, 72 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,000 Speaker 1: I was ranting. 73 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:55,920 Speaker 6: My bad, bad, my bee. 74 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:57,720 Speaker 4: Let me just sit here as you guys talk crap 75 00:03:57,760 --> 00:03:58,600 Speaker 4: about mego. 76 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:02,760 Speaker 6: Hey, Hey, Yeah, I'm furious. Yeah, how much I love Riley? 77 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:08,840 Speaker 1: Oh my god, John, I literally hate that Riley is such. 78 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:11,440 Speaker 6: A good producer, right, it infuriates me. 79 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 2: Actually, did you hear that he's gonna because pizza. 80 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:17,719 Speaker 3: That's so stupid, disgusting, you disgusting? 81 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:19,640 Speaker 2: He a non meat one? Who does that? 82 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:20,200 Speaker 3: Wow? 83 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:20,880 Speaker 2: Weirdos? 84 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:21,200 Speaker 3: Really? 85 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:24,080 Speaker 2: Yeah? 86 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:29,760 Speaker 4: And see chugs. God, my coworkers are so great. Yeah, 87 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:32,320 Speaker 4: he's actually terrible logs. 88 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:34,960 Speaker 1: So far, nothing's been said in the group chat. It's 89 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:38,040 Speaker 1: like everyone silently agreed to just pretend it didn't happen. 90 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:40,719 Speaker 1: But I know they know, and they know. I know 91 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:47,000 Speaker 1: they know. But there are some comments. Match a Magpie 92 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:50,560 Speaker 1: match a Magpie says, don't be a coward and put 93 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,240 Speaker 1: it on them to bring it up or not bring 94 00:04:52,279 --> 00:04:52,560 Speaker 1: it up. 95 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:55,080 Speaker 2: You should apologize. It's the very least you can do, 96 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:55,719 Speaker 2: which I agree. 97 00:04:55,839 --> 00:04:56,440 Speaker 6: Yeah, agreed. 98 00:04:57,120 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 1: Oh, Rakil says, Yeah, I apologize. Also, what you imagine 99 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:03,480 Speaker 1: to be silence was actually everybody messaging each other or 100 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,320 Speaker 1: creating a group chat to either roast you back or 101 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:07,760 Speaker 1: say what the f is wrong with you? 102 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:09,200 Speaker 2: Hope that makes you feel better? 103 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:13,120 Speaker 1: He loll Weaselbeef says, the job market is dreadful right now, 104 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,119 Speaker 1: but hey, better than having to deal with those guys 105 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:19,440 Speaker 1: next week, Gunner Cassin says, or a cousin says. Life 106 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:23,800 Speaker 1: rule number seven microphones are never off and update. I 107 00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:25,800 Speaker 1: went ahead and sent a message in the group chat 108 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:29,880 Speaker 1: to apologize. Here's what I wrote. Hey, everyone, I wanted 109 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:32,599 Speaker 1: to reach out and sincerely apologize for my rant the 110 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:35,360 Speaker 1: other day. I realize now how out of line and 111 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:38,320 Speaker 1: hurtful my comments were. I didn't mean for any of 112 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:40,120 Speaker 1: it to come across the way it did, and I'm 113 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:43,440 Speaker 1: truly sorry for any offense or discomfort I caused. I 114 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:46,000 Speaker 1: understand if you need time or if you're not ready 115 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:48,280 Speaker 1: to talk yet, but I wanted to acknowledge my mistake 116 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 1: and try to make things right. A few people have 117 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,280 Speaker 1: seen the message, but so far no one has responded. 118 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:55,520 Speaker 1: I get that it might be too awkward or they 119 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:56,800 Speaker 1: might need time to process. 120 00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:58,280 Speaker 2: Just wanted to. 121 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:02,960 Speaker 1: Keep you all update is another update. I hope he's 122 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,600 Speaker 1: going to keep on keeping us updated. 123 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:07,880 Speaker 4: That sounded like his YouTube apologies. 124 00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:12,279 Speaker 1: He's like, I understand that I've made mistakes, I've hurt people, 125 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:15,000 Speaker 1: and that you were hurt by It. 126 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:17,359 Speaker 4: Is better than just d jan this is that's right? 127 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:23,200 Speaker 3: Is it too late now to say sorry? Oh man, 128 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,520 Speaker 3: just a good enough apology? Yeah? 129 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:28,680 Speaker 2: What else could he do? That's my question. 130 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,120 Speaker 4: I want to invite him over for stakes. 131 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:33,599 Speaker 1: I'd be like, hey, guys, I'd like to invite you 132 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:38,240 Speaker 1: all for some stakes and to offer you an opportunity. 133 00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:43,120 Speaker 5: To roast me back this. That's awesome because this might 134 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:47,240 Speaker 5: be controversial. But like I think sometimes when you kind 135 00:06:47,279 --> 00:06:51,920 Speaker 5: of like lay out an apology like that, it feels 136 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:55,800 Speaker 5: too formal, too formal, right, like your friends, Like I 137 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:59,440 Speaker 5: was a total ass, Like I really shouldn't have done that, 138 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,520 Speaker 5: Like that was that was that was not cool? 139 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:03,760 Speaker 4: Uh, and it's it's. 140 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:06,200 Speaker 5: You know, sad that I had to realize that my 141 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:08,520 Speaker 5: microso I muted to realize joke a little bit. 142 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, like like I realized that I'm such 143 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:13,840 Speaker 1: an idiot for one leaving my mic off, but also 144 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:15,240 Speaker 1: for saying that because I shouldn't have. 145 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:16,120 Speaker 2: Said that about you guys. 146 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:18,080 Speaker 5: L's in the chat for me. Yeah, but I feel 147 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:21,520 Speaker 5: like that would have felt more like Okay, he's genuine, yeah, 148 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:24,120 Speaker 5: they're just yeah, it just feels like the corporate apology. 149 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,200 Speaker 6: Yeah, literally, like oh we're. 150 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,880 Speaker 2: Not it feels like they're not even friends. 151 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:29,480 Speaker 4: Yeah, so do you do? 152 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:29,920 Speaker 3: You agree? 153 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,120 Speaker 6: Because I'm like, yeah. 154 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,640 Speaker 3: Okay, what do they do again? 155 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:33,520 Speaker 2: Office? 156 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:36,520 Speaker 3: The work, that's what they do? 157 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, m hmm. But there is another update. 158 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:43,679 Speaker 1: One day later, after going over the thread, I realized 159 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:46,440 Speaker 1: my first apology was rushed and didn't really reflect how 160 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:49,240 Speaker 1: sorry I truly am, so I took a step back, 161 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:51,600 Speaker 1: rewrote it, and sent a new message. 162 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:55,520 Speaker 5: New apology script like this, gentlemen, I apologize for my apologies. 163 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:59,160 Speaker 4: This one didn't get enough us, so no comments on this. 164 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:02,640 Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, I've had more time to think about what happened, 165 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:04,520 Speaker 1: and I want to give a better apology. I know 166 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:06,840 Speaker 1: the things I said were hurtful and frost a major line, 167 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:09,480 Speaker 1: and I deeply regret letting my frustration get the best 168 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:11,720 Speaker 1: of me. There's no excuse for what I said, and 169 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:15,040 Speaker 1: I want to sincerely apologize. I value our work relationships 170 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:18,480 Speaker 1: and genuinely feel terrible for portraying your trust. I understand 171 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:20,000 Speaker 1: if you guys don't want to talk or hang out 172 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,480 Speaker 1: with me anymore, but I'm open to any conversations you 173 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:24,440 Speaker 1: might want to have. If not, I just want you 174 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:27,400 Speaker 1: to know I'm sorry and I'm gonna work on being better. 175 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:29,960 Speaker 4: Okay, that's a little better, a little better, but still 176 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:31,120 Speaker 4: pretty formal. 177 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:34,960 Speaker 1: Still your relationships, yeah yeah, what about our friendships? 178 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:38,880 Speaker 5: See yeah, and like if this happened while you were 179 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:42,240 Speaker 5: playing Rocket League together. So I'm like, okay, like we 180 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:45,400 Speaker 5: can we can be real here, we can be real here. 181 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:48,280 Speaker 2: It's still a couple guys. This time. 182 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:50,760 Speaker 1: I got a few responses. One of them wrote back 183 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:53,520 Speaker 1: saying thanks for reaching out. Let's just move forward and 184 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:56,400 Speaker 1: put this behind us. The other said something along the 185 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:58,679 Speaker 1: lines of, I appreciate you owning up to it. It's 186 00:08:58,679 --> 00:09:01,199 Speaker 1: stung at the time, but I'm willing to move past 187 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:02,880 Speaker 1: it as long as it doesn't happen again. 188 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:04,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, Like who was it Ben? 189 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:06,800 Speaker 5: Where he's like and Ben's voice is just like nails 190 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:10,240 Speaker 5: on chockboard. It's like, that's not even like about his character, 191 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:12,120 Speaker 5: like you're attacking yeah yeah. 192 00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:14,600 Speaker 1: And also the other one, he's like, oh, like they're 193 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:15,920 Speaker 1: terrible at the game, and he's. 194 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:20,880 Speaker 4: Like, I'm Ben, he's ugly. Yeah, what are you saying? 195 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:24,040 Speaker 4: I wanted to see who responded who like, like, oh, 196 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:27,640 Speaker 4: because out of two of them they were okay, which one? 197 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:28,640 Speaker 2: What did Ben say? 198 00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:31,320 Speaker 4: Yeah? Or which one had a problem with actually had 199 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:33,040 Speaker 4: a problem with you. Yeah. 200 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:37,800 Speaker 1: One coworker, however, messaged me privately saying, honestly, what you 201 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:41,160 Speaker 1: said wasn't just frustrating, it was completely unprofessional and crossed 202 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,640 Speaker 1: a line for me. I'm not comfortable with this and 203 00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:46,880 Speaker 1: would prefer you don't contact me again. WHOA, I'm honestly 204 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:51,880 Speaker 1: considering going to HR. That's Ben. Gotta be Ben. That 205 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:54,440 Speaker 1: one's stung. But I get it. I messed up royally. 206 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:57,640 Speaker 1: I'm just hoping this doesn't escalate any further, but I 207 00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:00,160 Speaker 1: know I can't undo the damage. All I can do 208 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:02,240 Speaker 1: now is try to learn from this and make sure 209 00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:05,200 Speaker 1: nothing like this happens again. Thanks for pushing me to 210 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:08,560 Speaker 1: give a better apology. I feel like the HR thing 211 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:09,520 Speaker 1: is a little bit intense. 212 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:13,480 Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, I wouldn't. 213 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:14,160 Speaker 2: I don't know. 214 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:15,840 Speaker 5: If I would, I would just be like, I'm not 215 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:18,400 Speaker 5: gonna because they're like hanging out after. 216 00:10:19,679 --> 00:10:22,560 Speaker 1: It's not work, So I don't know, it feels like 217 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:26,040 Speaker 1: it's it's I don't know, playing games with your friends 218 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:29,439 Speaker 1: is not necessarily professional, not in a bad way. It's 219 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:32,640 Speaker 1: just like that goes out of the profession totally. Yeah, 220 00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:35,240 Speaker 1: I just I feel like it's not really I don't know. 221 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:39,960 Speaker 4: I agree. I agree, Yeah, weird vibes all around, weird vibes. 222 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:44,360 Speaker 1: But there are some comments. Mortensha Mordem says, the one 223 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:47,679 Speaker 1: person wanting to go to HR is ridiculous. While I 224 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:49,400 Speaker 1: understand it hurt and they don't want to speak to 225 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,959 Speaker 1: you anymore, it happened off of company time, and taking 226 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:52,679 Speaker 1: it to HR. 227 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:54,920 Speaker 2: Is just petty. I don't see it going anywhere. 228 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:58,400 Speaker 1: Instant X says, as someone who's unfamiliar with the Western 229 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:00,480 Speaker 1: work culture, there's one thing I don't yet about that 230 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:02,520 Speaker 1: one guy who said he was considering going to HR 231 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:06,200 Speaker 1: about what exactly. Gaming sessions are not part of the work, 232 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:08,400 Speaker 1: just something you do with coworkers in your free time, 233 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,040 Speaker 1: So what does HR have to do with any of that? 234 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,160 Speaker 1: And doctor Puzzle says, I'm sorry, but the guy who 235 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:17,040 Speaker 1: messaged you privately, it's kind of laughable, Like, yeah, you 236 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:18,840 Speaker 1: crossed the line and you hurt their feelings, but to 237 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:22,320 Speaker 1: go to Human Resources over a group gaming session is ridiculous. 238 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:24,320 Speaker 1: The rest of them took it the way I figured 239 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:27,240 Speaker 1: they would, whether they accept the apology or not. That's 240 00:11:27,559 --> 00:11:30,360 Speaker 1: that other one, though, like there's being sensitive, and there's 241 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,480 Speaker 1: being sensitive that would piss me off to an honest 242 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:36,480 Speaker 1: To be honest with you, this isn't an HR issue. 243 00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:38,160 Speaker 1: You didn't grab the cause. 244 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:41,720 Speaker 2: Go hone ness. 245 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:45,760 Speaker 1: For f's sake, you spoke ignorantly, not on company time. 246 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:47,840 Speaker 1: I'll defend you here and say that guy needs to 247 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:56,000 Speaker 1: grow a set, damn. But and that is the end 248 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:56,960 Speaker 1: of that story. 249 00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:58,440 Speaker 4: Wow Wow. 250 00:11:58,760 --> 00:11:59,320 Speaker 3: Just a heads up. 251 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:02,360 Speaker 5: There will be some talk about physical abuse in a 252 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:04,559 Speaker 5: romantic relationship, so heads up if you want to skip 253 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,480 Speaker 5: the story. Should I be okay with my spouse having 254 00:12:07,559 --> 00:12:08,760 Speaker 5: work girlfriends? 255 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:10,360 Speaker 3: We're girlfriends. 256 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:13,320 Speaker 5: Hi. So I'm going to preface this by saying that 257 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:16,120 Speaker 5: I have been cheated on in pivotal. 258 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:17,520 Speaker 3: Times in my life. Sorry about that. 259 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:21,280 Speaker 5: After my first boyfriend and after the person I thought 260 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:25,120 Speaker 5: was my start crost lover. Both brought me into the 261 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:29,480 Speaker 5: state of infidelity ptst oh and this comes from deleted 262 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,920 Speaker 5: nice deleted. I have been married to my husband since 263 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:36,120 Speaker 5: twenty eighteen. We got married quickly because I had just 264 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:38,880 Speaker 5: finished moving past the cheating before and was ready to 265 00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:42,720 Speaker 5: start something with someone I had trust for. Dear husband 266 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:45,120 Speaker 5: and I have been friends since we were eighteen and 267 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:49,280 Speaker 5: dated two years At that point, I was very clear 268 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:52,479 Speaker 5: that I wanted all my exes scrub from my socials 269 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:53,160 Speaker 5: and messages. 270 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:56,440 Speaker 1: Is oh, I assume all his exes scrub from socials? 271 00:12:56,559 --> 00:12:57,760 Speaker 3: Oh? 272 00:12:57,840 --> 00:12:59,920 Speaker 5: Yes, that I wanted all of his exes scrub for 273 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:04,040 Speaker 5: socialist and messages because of my experience with lying and cheating. 274 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,600 Speaker 5: The guy before this got married to the chick he 275 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:07,640 Speaker 5: cheated on me with. 276 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:09,480 Speaker 3: While at work. Ouch. 277 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:11,840 Speaker 6: Just no, you get him, how you lose him? 278 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:14,200 Speaker 5: The day I moved out to be with him in 279 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,880 Speaker 5: Fort Bragg, he deleted a text that came in from 280 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:21,360 Speaker 5: a former subordinate female of the past. 281 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:28,160 Speaker 1: A subordinate female female alerts after me feeling weird about 282 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:31,319 Speaker 1: the relationship he had with the one under him at 283 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:31,720 Speaker 1: the time. 284 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:32,800 Speaker 6: No pun intended. 285 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:37,240 Speaker 5: Ay she got kicked out for sleeping around and selling 286 00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:38,680 Speaker 5: something that is not pepsi. 287 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:42,920 Speaker 4: He still won't answer any questions about it. 288 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:47,360 Speaker 5: Next week comes friends talking crap to my face, and 289 00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:51,479 Speaker 5: he let them and started treating me like he agreed. 290 00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:54,880 Speaker 4: What, well, you need to find a better man, right 291 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:55,600 Speaker 4: better one. 292 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:58,440 Speaker 5: They put it out publicly that I wanted him to 293 00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:00,760 Speaker 5: have no friends or life. 294 00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:02,800 Speaker 6: This is the old But. 295 00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:05,640 Speaker 1: She also doesn't want you to have a girlfriend anymore. 296 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:11,200 Speaker 1: Boom Boy, bye boy, bye bye. 297 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,840 Speaker 2: Bye bye bye bye bye. 298 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:19,640 Speaker 1: As in Sync says that's right the bat. Backstreet Boy says, 299 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:22,480 Speaker 1: that's what I'm it is Backstreet Boys. Sorry, I'm so 300 00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:23,960 Speaker 1: oh my god, that's embarrassing. 301 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:25,560 Speaker 3: Boys got him? 302 00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:28,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, sorry, I was thinking of what's the incinct song? 303 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:30,360 Speaker 4: Uh? 304 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:32,840 Speaker 2: The other one? 305 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, we know the same one. 306 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:39,160 Speaker 2: What's the one I was thinking of the instincts? 307 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:42,119 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, every bye. 308 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:50,760 Speaker 5: Backstreets back all right, I was right, yes. 309 00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:55,720 Speaker 1: Anyways, Oh my god, I was about to be so embarrassed. Okay, 310 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:56,640 Speaker 1: Sophie is. 311 00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:59,880 Speaker 5: Possible embarrassing side that hurts deeply, he says, because it 312 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:00,720 Speaker 5: no point. 313 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:03,600 Speaker 4: I would have ever said that to Oh I was wrong. 314 00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:05,640 Speaker 2: Wait, okay, don't matter. 315 00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:09,840 Speaker 5: What I did ask for was to be included more often, 316 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:13,960 Speaker 5: which turned into him claiming that I said he shouldn't 317 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:17,360 Speaker 5: go out anymore. He deploys, comes home, and he is 318 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:20,720 Speaker 5: assigned to twenty year old. Assigned to twenty year old, 319 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,200 Speaker 5: he's a sign year old. I'm guessing he works in 320 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:25,160 Speaker 5: the military and its workers with people I don't know. 321 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:29,040 Speaker 5: He's deleting the fact that they're texting and using WhatsApp 322 00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:30,880 Speaker 5: for the rest of the Army correspondence, so he does 323 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:34,320 Speaker 5: work for the army. WhatsApp doesn't bother me. The text being. 324 00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:35,880 Speaker 6: Deleted rubbed me the wrong way. 325 00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:39,080 Speaker 5: So basically, it seems like he has assigned these two people, 326 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:43,200 Speaker 5: I'm guessing, people who he would be potentially attracted to. Uh, 327 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:45,960 Speaker 5: and he has deleted WhatsApp messages between them. M. 328 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,800 Speaker 2: Sorry, explain the signing thing to me again. I didn't 329 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:49,440 Speaker 2: really register. 330 00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:52,760 Speaker 5: I am guessing that, Like it's like the same thing, like, oh, 331 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:54,960 Speaker 5: you're on this person's team and they're like your manager. 332 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:58,160 Speaker 2: Oh okay, that's essentially signing attracted people jump. 333 00:15:58,520 --> 00:15:59,920 Speaker 6: People that he would be attracted to. 334 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:02,760 Speaker 5: That gender was not mentioned, but you know, people who 335 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:04,640 Speaker 5: oh he could maybe see be bicious of. 336 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:05,920 Speaker 3: We decided to. 337 00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:09,160 Speaker 5: Move out of the Army because of everything coming to 338 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:12,240 Speaker 5: a head and feeling stressed. Something was happening because he 339 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:14,880 Speaker 5: would leave post for forty minutes at three am in 340 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:19,080 Speaker 5: the middle of the night when check ins only take 341 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:22,520 Speaker 5: fifteen minutes, a lot of the army jargon. 342 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:22,840 Speaker 3: Today. 343 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:27,000 Speaker 5: We moved into a house that he agreed to pay 344 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,560 Speaker 5: for before we got here, and then it was left 345 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:32,080 Speaker 5: all on my shoulders to raise our one year old 346 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:36,360 Speaker 5: and pay the mortgage alone. I left after I slapped 347 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:39,120 Speaker 5: him several times for forcing me and my son to 348 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:42,360 Speaker 5: wake up at three am and he wouldn't let us 349 00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:44,560 Speaker 5: go back to sleep because he was mad about an 350 00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:46,320 Speaker 5: argument from the day before. 351 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:50,400 Speaker 4: Really, Riley, you just say it was a miscullaneous. 352 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:53,560 Speaker 2: That's there was a reason I didn't still here. 353 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:54,320 Speaker 4: You delete it. 354 00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:58,280 Speaker 2: I don't go into miscellaneous. That's just my deleting thing. 355 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,560 Speaker 6: Well just deleted, delete it. 356 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:06,760 Speaker 4: But anyways, Oh no, do we keep? We were already 357 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:07,720 Speaker 4: just the steep in. 358 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:12,840 Speaker 5: Yeah, there was okay, warning abuse, Yeah, there was some abuse. 359 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:19,040 Speaker 4: There was some abuse, and after that, oh wow, it 360 00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:20,280 Speaker 4: was more more. 361 00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:22,440 Speaker 1: I leave due to the now physical and safe. Maybe 362 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:22,960 Speaker 1: start from there. 363 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:26,520 Speaker 5: Yeah, oh my gosh, Okay, I leave to now physical, 364 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:29,320 Speaker 5: physically unsafe environment that we are in and go to 365 00:17:29,359 --> 00:17:32,199 Speaker 5: my parents for a year. They eventually can't help me 366 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:34,360 Speaker 5: and my son anymore, and I am forced back into 367 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,840 Speaker 5: the house, still not paid and still getting passed between 368 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:39,240 Speaker 5: lenders because. 369 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,800 Speaker 6: We aren't earning enough to get the loan back. I 370 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:42,080 Speaker 6: think to pay for the mortgage. 371 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:45,040 Speaker 5: He decides not to work on this but get an 372 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:49,159 Speaker 5: on site roll sixty miles away one way gets a 373 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:52,080 Speaker 5: new car and a motorcycle while not paying for anything 374 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:55,399 Speaker 5: in our world besides daycare, which lasted only two months 375 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:59,360 Speaker 5: before I pulled them aside because I couldn't afford it anymore. 376 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,880 Speaker 5: He lies to me when I come home that nothing happened. 377 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:06,280 Speaker 5: I get pregnant and deal with him, screaming how I'm 378 00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:07,919 Speaker 5: worthless for a year? 379 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,240 Speaker 2: You know what that D and D story is? Looking 380 00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:11,200 Speaker 2: off Lincoln. 381 00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:13,800 Speaker 4: Oh Man. 382 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,800 Speaker 5: I give birth and start to notice a change in 383 00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:20,720 Speaker 5: how he's acting at work. I found the dating apps 384 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,960 Speaker 5: and accounts a month after giving birth, and he lied 385 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,679 Speaker 5: to my face with the proof. With the proof in 386 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:29,840 Speaker 5: front of him, I figured out that he's currently has 387 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:33,720 Speaker 5: a cute employee and ask him about her. Apparently he's 388 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:36,640 Speaker 5: been telling me about her all year and just omitting 389 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,399 Speaker 5: that it's a cute twenty three year. 390 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:39,640 Speaker 6: Old that they just hired. 391 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:42,960 Speaker 5: He tries to give her a promotion after they start 392 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:46,240 Speaker 5: one on ones up again, as there's as the supervisor 393 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:48,840 Speaker 5: not the manager. I find out and ask him why, 394 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:52,000 Speaker 5: because if she's stealing time by clocking in off site 395 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:55,879 Speaker 5: before arrival, tossing work onto others into the team, not 396 00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:58,320 Speaker 5: being in the call to you with everyone and saying 397 00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:01,560 Speaker 5: publicly that she would sleep the person of power. 398 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:05,560 Speaker 4: To get ahead. You know, the evidence is pretty damning. 399 00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, this is a bad relationship. 400 00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:08,480 Speaker 3: Wow. 401 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:11,680 Speaker 5: I ask him why she would be given any kind 402 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:15,360 Speaker 5: of kudos, and he acted bad enough that she noticed. 403 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,040 Speaker 5: She gets fired, and I reach out to her and 404 00:19:18,119 --> 00:19:21,959 Speaker 5: ask her what happened. Radio silence suspicious for someone with 405 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:24,960 Speaker 5: my past experiences. I leave a voicemail on what I 406 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,359 Speaker 5: believe was her phone number, not sure I got it 407 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,720 Speaker 5: from the white Pages, and I haven't received any response. 408 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:33,439 Speaker 5: One morning, I go into a psychosis and start calling 409 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:36,200 Speaker 5: her from random numbers on and off for about forty 410 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:39,600 Speaker 5: five minutes until I finally get a response, which snapped 411 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:42,639 Speaker 5: me out of it and I apologized. The response is 412 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:46,040 Speaker 5: to have the responses after her boyfriend threaten me, and 413 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:49,400 Speaker 5: all questions stop because I am not trying to cause drama. 414 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:53,560 Speaker 5: She emails the company stating there's corruption in the management 415 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:57,760 Speaker 5: area and cites me contacting her after her firing, now 416 00:19:57,840 --> 00:19:59,919 Speaker 5: claiming that she's going to get the police. 417 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:02,720 Speaker 4: Involved for her safety to be there. 418 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,680 Speaker 2: I mean, it's pretty stressful to have someone calling her 419 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:07,360 Speaker 2: a bunch. 420 00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:10,520 Speaker 5: Yeah, I think, Yeah, this is oh he should have 421 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:15,439 Speaker 5: just yeah, left it alone, honestly, Yeah, yeah, this is 422 00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:19,520 Speaker 5: now I'm scared, crapless. But the intensity of the response 423 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:23,880 Speaker 5: now has me feeling more sick than before. Now he's 424 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:27,680 Speaker 5: been trickle truthing that he's been looking the other way 425 00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:30,480 Speaker 5: while she does stuff she shouldn't, that he thought that 426 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,680 Speaker 5: she was hot for the first couple of weeks when 427 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:36,359 Speaker 5: they hired her. This timeframe coincides with when he was 428 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:40,680 Speaker 5: on the dating websites not talking to anyone quote unquote. Meanwhile, 429 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:44,080 Speaker 5: I have proof of the conversations. That's crazy, babe. I 430 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:46,320 Speaker 5: was on the dating app, but I wasn't talking to anyone. 431 00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:57,439 Speaker 5: What about these conversations? And so would I be the 432 00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:01,720 Speaker 5: ahole to finally finish, pay the separation lawyer and pack 433 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:02,359 Speaker 5: up and leave. 434 00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:03,960 Speaker 3: Am I dealing with a sociopath? 435 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,760 Speaker 5: And does anyone have any advice on the trauma that 436 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:09,600 Speaker 5: is bleeding into this making things worse for me in 437 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:13,000 Speaker 5: the instrum? Where are the advices on what I should 438 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,359 Speaker 5: do here? Because I now have a four year old 439 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:19,720 Speaker 5: VPK student who is throwing up when his dad screams 440 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:22,200 Speaker 5: about taking my kids away from me, and a daughter 441 00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:25,240 Speaker 5: who's four months old and absorbing every mood shift like 442 00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:27,240 Speaker 5: no one's business more like me. 443 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:29,400 Speaker 3: I am so scared and desperate. 444 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:36,360 Speaker 5: Please any advice or bolstring would be forever appreciated. Wow, 445 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:40,240 Speaker 5: my goodness. Well, I think it's safe to say that 446 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:43,800 Speaker 5: there was damages done on both sides. I think that 447 00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:46,560 Speaker 5: there was some wrong moves on both ends here. I 448 00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:49,439 Speaker 5: do feel very much for op because it sounds like 449 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:50,639 Speaker 5: HER's in a. 450 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:51,960 Speaker 2: Very unsafe situation. 451 00:21:52,119 --> 00:22:00,000 Speaker 5: Unsafe situation for sure, very extremely toxic situation. And I 452 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:02,840 Speaker 5: to answer her question, I definitely think you should move 453 00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:05,440 Speaker 5: forward with like separation and yes, that is. 454 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:08,840 Speaker 4: The best thing you could get possibly. 455 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:11,919 Speaker 1: Out of there immediately. Yes, and see if you can 456 00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:14,679 Speaker 1: get some sort of lawyer involved or family if you 457 00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:16,920 Speaker 1: have any in the area who can kind. 458 00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:19,040 Speaker 2: Of you can go to for safety. 459 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:22,160 Speaker 6: Yes, yeah, this is one hundred percent and it sounds 460 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:23,760 Speaker 6: like an. 461 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:24,320 Speaker 3: Advice is now. 462 00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:26,320 Speaker 1: Also, they're in the army, so she could kind of 463 00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:31,440 Speaker 1: approach the army people about this, that's yes. They they're 464 00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:33,000 Speaker 1: pretty strict about it, like essentially. 465 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:33,880 Speaker 3: Reported to HR. Yeah. 466 00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:39,840 Speaker 5: Yeah, a thrillion percent. And I bet, actually I wouldn't 467 00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:43,399 Speaker 5: say I bet, but I wonder if she's able to 468 00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:46,000 Speaker 5: go like I imagine she could get reassigned to something 469 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:49,560 Speaker 5: else because they're like, Okay, this is like, this is 470 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,320 Speaker 5: just causing a lot of issues. Let's move you both 471 00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:54,879 Speaker 5: to two different areas or like two different areas of 472 00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:58,960 Speaker 5: worker but whatever it might be. Yeah, this is a 473 00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:03,960 Speaker 5: insanely toxic situation. I would also definitely, in addition to 474 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:07,359 Speaker 5: everything Sophia said, like some therapy honestly to work through this. 475 00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:09,440 Speaker 5: It seemed like your kids. 476 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:12,040 Speaker 1: In therapy, which you might be able to if you 477 00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:15,160 Speaker 1: have the army that's true benefits. 478 00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:17,840 Speaker 5: Yeah, you might have you know, a great, great health insurance, 479 00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:20,000 Speaker 5: so look into that for sure. Yeah, I would look 480 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,360 Speaker 5: into all of those different things. And you are absolutely 481 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:26,000 Speaker 5: not the a hole for wanting to leave the situation 482 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:27,680 Speaker 5: that there. 483 00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:29,640 Speaker 2: Were there were other moments, other. 484 00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:31,360 Speaker 5: Moments, bad things done on both sides. But I think 485 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,720 Speaker 5: you just take this as a as a I think 486 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:37,560 Speaker 5: probably removing yourself from the situation, well, that's like you're 487 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:40,560 Speaker 5: already like on the path, on the path, and that's 488 00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,360 Speaker 5: already going to be probably a lot of progress, and 489 00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:44,880 Speaker 5: getting out of that headspace will help a lot, and 490 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,200 Speaker 5: then you can kind of maybe look at that other 491 00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:51,480 Speaker 5: stuff in therapy moving forward from it. But Bowsers, we 492 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:55,000 Speaker 5: really closed out with a crazy one awesome. Well that 493 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:57,200 Speaker 5: I think is it for this episode? 494 00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:58,200 Speaker 3: Riley? 495 00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:00,840 Speaker 5: Yeah, it was a doozy, but we're so If you 496 00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:03,320 Speaker 5: love us, make sure to subscribe. 497 00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:07,120 Speaker 2: We love you and see it a world boom. 498 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:09,439 Speaker 3: This is an episode from Deep within the Archives. 499 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:12,040 Speaker 4: Time for okop Relam. 500 00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:16,639 Speaker 7: My daughter in law told me she was infertile. I 501 00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:19,680 Speaker 7: laughed in her face. But what happened next I never 502 00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:20,920 Speaker 7: would have expected. 503 00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:24,480 Speaker 4: OPI is pregnant. No, that would be unexpected. 504 00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:27,439 Speaker 5: Oh if OPI is pregnant, yeah, or if Opie's partner 505 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:31,080 Speaker 5: was pregnant. And then they laugh in Opita's face. Oh 506 00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:32,119 Speaker 5: the reverse laugh? 507 00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:32,919 Speaker 3: Heyback? 508 00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:37,320 Speaker 4: Or maybe just maybe Ope's. 509 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:40,479 Speaker 7: Daughter is a comedian and it was a joke and 510 00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:43,919 Speaker 7: the mother was just being a supportive audience member by laughing. 511 00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:47,120 Speaker 4: Come on her face, not at her with her. It's 512 00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:47,840 Speaker 4: called timing. 513 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:50,479 Speaker 7: It's called timing. Okay, no, that's not That's not what's happening. 514 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:52,920 Speaker 7: But I will tell you what's happening. I'm sixty four, 515 00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:57,440 Speaker 7: rainy on Reddish, let's go, and I have one son, Robert, 516 00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:00,840 Speaker 7: with my late husband James. What was he late A living. 517 00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:08,080 Speaker 7: You're they Robert Cage's Zara, who was thirty five. Last Sunday, 518 00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:10,320 Speaker 7: Sarah Robert came to my house for dinner. We were 519 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:13,040 Speaker 7: chatting and I told them a story about James, who 520 00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:16,119 Speaker 7: Sarah unfortunately never got to meet, you know, because he 521 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:16,560 Speaker 7: was late. 522 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:18,760 Speaker 3: Right Where is he? 523 00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:20,240 Speaker 4: James? 524 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:23,040 Speaker 3: James? Why are you always late for everything? 525 00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:28,920 Speaker 7: While I was pregnant, James was very excited and insisted 526 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:33,240 Speaker 7: on putting together everything, cribs and changing tables. Bless his 527 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:36,520 Speaker 7: poor little dead heart. But my James was not much 528 00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:38,960 Speaker 7: of a carpenter, and one day when I was putting 529 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:42,280 Speaker 7: Robert in his crib, the whole thing broke and our 530 00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:43,000 Speaker 7: baby died. 531 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:45,119 Speaker 4: You're on one today. 532 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:48,399 Speaker 7: I managed to catch Robert just in time, so no 533 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,639 Speaker 7: harm was done, thankfully. Why would you put your precious 534 00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:55,040 Speaker 7: child in some shoddy craftsmanship. 535 00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:56,119 Speaker 4: And like if you built it, you low key know 536 00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:56,920 Speaker 4: that it ain't good? 537 00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,320 Speaker 7: Yeah, oh God, like I'm imagining, like I don't know 538 00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:01,119 Speaker 7: if you've ever seen that Simpson's thing where they like 539 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:04,520 Speaker 7: make a birdhouse and it's just the birdhouse every Yeah, 540 00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:07,120 Speaker 7: you know you made a shitty birdhouse. Come on, after 541 00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,000 Speaker 7: the story, I made a joke along the lines of 542 00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,960 Speaker 7: Sarah never having that problem if they have children, because 543 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:15,720 Speaker 7: Robert is actually a carpenter. But then she burst into 544 00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:19,240 Speaker 7: tears and asked me why I was being so cruel. 545 00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:22,159 Speaker 7: I was taken aback and asked her what was wrong, 546 00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:26,080 Speaker 7: as I certainly had it meant to make her upset, 547 00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:28,560 Speaker 7: and I was sorry if I asked. 548 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:30,959 Speaker 4: Don't you compliment my husband's carpet? 549 00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:34,720 Speaker 3: How dare you bring up woodworking? Would you know why 550 00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:36,080 Speaker 3: husband's would don't work? 551 00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:40,440 Speaker 7: She told me that she discovered recently that Sarah is infertile. Ah, 552 00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:45,040 Speaker 7: so it's not the wood that don't work, it's what's 553 00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:48,200 Speaker 7: under her hood that don't work. Yep, and she would 554 00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:51,160 Speaker 7: never be able to have children even with IVF. 555 00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:53,160 Speaker 3: Oh that sucks. That sucks. 556 00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:56,040 Speaker 7: Literally the last story, like the last lady was able 557 00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:56,800 Speaker 7: to have three kids. 558 00:26:58,480 --> 00:26:59,879 Speaker 3: It's gonna be a punch in the face. 559 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:01,879 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, maybe this is cousin. 560 00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:03,159 Speaker 3: This is cousin. 561 00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:09,000 Speaker 8: E villain origin story has come out of the woodwork. 562 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:12,439 Speaker 7: I apologized profusely and said if I had known, I 563 00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:14,879 Speaker 7: would never have made a joke about it, but we 564 00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:18,880 Speaker 7: would Dames. I struggled with having Robert and we were 565 00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:21,800 Speaker 7: never able to give him siblings. So I felt awful 566 00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:24,439 Speaker 7: that I had hurt Sarah like that. The mood was ruined. 567 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:28,800 Speaker 7: Really say, After that, and Robert and Sarah decided to 568 00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:31,879 Speaker 7: leave early dang thang, that's you know, at least they 569 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:35,439 Speaker 7: didn't leave. Late Tuesday, I ran into Robert's best friend 570 00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:37,640 Speaker 7: and his wife while I was out shopping. 571 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:39,440 Speaker 3: His wife is good friends with Sarah and. 572 00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:42,159 Speaker 4: Seemed unusually cold to me. Maybe they were in the 573 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:46,800 Speaker 4: frozen foods. Oh god, Lego and tobago. 574 00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:47,880 Speaker 3: He's cold arted. 575 00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:50,520 Speaker 7: I asked why, and she said she hadn't known I 576 00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:53,000 Speaker 7: was rude and that I would be ashamed of mocking 577 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:56,919 Speaker 7: Sarah's infertility. But it's not what happened, not all what happened. 578 00:27:57,160 --> 00:28:01,440 Speaker 7: Sometimes the grapevine gives a bad info. Really that Yeah, 579 00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:03,639 Speaker 7: who would have thought the great vine is usually one 580 00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:05,360 Speaker 7: hundred percent quality? 581 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:09,679 Speaker 5: Exactly? No one gossips. 582 00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:10,760 Speaker 7: Changes the story as it goes from Burs and to Burs. 583 00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:13,439 Speaker 7: It turns out that the story has been spread, and 584 00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:17,960 Speaker 7: it was told that I viciously inshulted Sarah and insinuated 585 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:19,320 Speaker 7: she shouldn't marry Robert. 586 00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:23,600 Speaker 5: We literally went from a compliment on carpentry to you 587 00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:25,480 Speaker 5: should not be married like. 588 00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:29,160 Speaker 3: Robert would don't work. I know, woom don't work. Y'all 589 00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:31,440 Speaker 3: shouldn't be married them ws ain't working. 590 00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:35,639 Speaker 7: Yeah yeah, those Peni and Vagina aren't coupled in the 591 00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:36,399 Speaker 7: way that they should. 592 00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:39,320 Speaker 3: They know they ain't. This is so ridiculous. 593 00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:41,760 Speaker 7: The story even got back to our family, and a 594 00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:45,160 Speaker 7: lot of her relatives are quite upset with me the story. 595 00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:48,320 Speaker 3: This may know what's going on. 596 00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:51,000 Speaker 7: But now I'm wondering if I really did overstep that 597 00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:54,280 Speaker 7: badly and insult Sarah horribly. I don't want to be 598 00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:56,600 Speaker 7: a bad mother in law, and I get along quite 599 00:28:56,600 --> 00:29:00,760 Speaker 7: well with Sarah ordinarily. Am I the whole here? 600 00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:01,240 Speaker 3: John? 601 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:04,240 Speaker 7: Give me your quick input one sentence, but of here's 602 00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:06,560 Speaker 7: she the a whole and what you predict is gonna 603 00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:07,000 Speaker 7: happen next? 604 00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:09,360 Speaker 4: Because damn bad godly gosh, there's an. 605 00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:12,280 Speaker 5: Update like like a conservative Mormon, I see no A 606 00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:12,800 Speaker 5: holes here. 607 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:14,320 Speaker 4: I don't know if that made sense. 608 00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:16,400 Speaker 7: But the A hole might be the Mormon loophole for 609 00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:21,400 Speaker 7: not having sex before marriage. That is true, only the 610 00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:27,360 Speaker 7: loophole that is another loophole. There's multiple idea, there's multiples 611 00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:31,240 Speaker 7: that you could loop into yeah, but you know, not 612 00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:32,680 Speaker 7: the hill, I say, I say, not. 613 00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:33,640 Speaker 3: That hill, not the A hole. 614 00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:35,560 Speaker 7: Okay, well, there is a little bit of an update, 615 00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:39,400 Speaker 7: at least some questions that were answered. You might have 616 00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:41,920 Speaker 7: tidy to answer some questions. I haven't spoken to Robert 617 00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:43,800 Speaker 7: about the story spreading the way it did. I thought 618 00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:46,000 Speaker 7: it was best to give them space after the dinner 619 00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:48,720 Speaker 7: to process Sarah's diagnosis. But a lot of the commenters 620 00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:51,120 Speaker 7: are saying I should ask him about it, and thinking maybe, right, 621 00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:53,320 Speaker 7: that makes me think OPI is even less the a 622 00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:56,880 Speaker 7: hole than she already isn't too. I haven't discussed future 623 00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:59,040 Speaker 7: children with them before, as my own mother in law 624 00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:01,360 Speaker 7: was quite cruel to me, myself and James, especially me 625 00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:04,280 Speaker 7: since we only had Robert. James's siblings all quite have 626 00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:06,960 Speaker 7: large families, and until she sided, my mother in law 627 00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:09,640 Speaker 7: was very clear about who she blamed for a lack 628 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:12,560 Speaker 7: of children. I decided early on in Sarah and Robert's 629 00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:15,080 Speaker 7: relationship that I wouldn't ask the typical questions of when 630 00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:17,680 Speaker 7: they would have children. But I've only met Sarah's family once, 631 00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:20,320 Speaker 7: so I don't know if her own relatives pressure her 632 00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:22,600 Speaker 7: in the way my mother in law pressured me three. 633 00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:24,720 Speaker 7: I've also decided to reach out to Sarah and ask 634 00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:26,120 Speaker 7: if the two of us can talk. I think the 635 00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:29,280 Speaker 7: story spreading was really a case of telephone for sure. Yeah, 636 00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:31,560 Speaker 7: but I would like to clear the air. The air 637 00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:33,960 Speaker 7: needs to be cleared, and the telephone wire needs to 638 00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:36,120 Speaker 7: be stripped down or replaced with the new telephone wire 639 00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:39,880 Speaker 7: because that connection is following that. I'm going to discuss 640 00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:41,520 Speaker 7: and ask both of them over for a chat and 641 00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:43,920 Speaker 7: discuss the situation, as I don't want this to fester. 642 00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:46,280 Speaker 7: I haven't decided what I'm going to do about clearing 643 00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:49,160 Speaker 7: everything up with family, but it's not my concern. Robert 644 00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:53,320 Speaker 7: and Sarah are John. I'm gonna direct the attention over 645 00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:56,840 Speaker 7: to you. What do you think in that beautiful nogin 646 00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:57,200 Speaker 7: of yours? 647 00:30:57,240 --> 00:30:58,920 Speaker 3: Oh God, for. 648 00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:02,479 Speaker 5: Sure, not the Opie, not the a whole Honestly, probably 649 00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:05,520 Speaker 5: Opie is the angel, because like everyone's just been like 650 00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:09,520 Speaker 5: crapping on op left right in the center, and she's 651 00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:12,000 Speaker 5: literally she's just taking it like like a champion. Like oh, 652 00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:13,840 Speaker 5: like you know, it seems like a game of telephone 653 00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:16,000 Speaker 5: all this stuff, and she like feels so bad that 654 00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:19,600 Speaker 5: she accidentally caused this pain I don't think that they 655 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:22,080 Speaker 5: were necessarily the ones that kind of like start like 656 00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,600 Speaker 5: fanning the flames and like the you know what it 657 00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:26,200 Speaker 5: evolved through in the game of telephone. 658 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:26,560 Speaker 7: Do we know? 659 00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:27,680 Speaker 3: It could be? 660 00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:30,400 Speaker 7: It could be, it could make I'm not saying they 661 00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:33,280 Speaker 7: definitely are the a hole right right right, like a 662 00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:35,680 Speaker 7: guy with a match stick and a forest fire behind him. 663 00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:38,600 Speaker 7: I'm smelling smoke. I see you with a match stick. 664 00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:40,760 Speaker 7: Maybe they didn't cause a whole forest fire, but they 665 00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:42,040 Speaker 7: broke that first lea for sure. 666 00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:44,960 Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah may maybe yeah. 667 00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:47,280 Speaker 5: I was so I mean, what do you think do 668 00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:50,040 Speaker 5: you would you classify them in the a whole category? 669 00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:53,640 Speaker 7: Not with one hundred yeah right, Like they could have 670 00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:56,880 Speaker 7: just said, you know this, you know, like rough situation 671 00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,880 Speaker 7: happened with our mother or like Sarah, I'm Sarah right, 672 00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:01,520 Speaker 7: it's rough histuies happened her. 673 00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:04,040 Speaker 3: This rough situation happened with my mother in law, and 674 00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:06,680 Speaker 3: she accidentally brought up something that made me sad. 675 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:07,160 Speaker 4: I don't know why. 676 00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,240 Speaker 7: She's like a little bit English right there, and I 677 00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:11,320 Speaker 7: could see like her starting that and then there's like 678 00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:13,680 Speaker 7: I know, like some freaking Karen that's like. 679 00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:17,840 Speaker 8: Oh my god, did that like, I can't believe she 680 00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:20,120 Speaker 8: literally insaulted you to her fris. 681 00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,680 Speaker 7: I could imagine like Karen and like a Karen friend 682 00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:26,000 Speaker 7: being like, you should not take off. 683 00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:27,400 Speaker 3: So what we know what? 684 00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:30,080 Speaker 7: We know for a fact that it's either Sarah or 685 00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:33,640 Speaker 7: Robert or it's someone within this telephone game. Someone in 686 00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:36,120 Speaker 7: the grape vine. There's a grape in the grapevine that's rotten. 687 00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:38,200 Speaker 7: We don't know who. Could be at the beginning, could 688 00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:39,800 Speaker 7: it be the middle, could be at the end, but 689 00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:41,960 Speaker 7: there's a rotten grape, and that grape is the ahole 690 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:42,320 Speaker 7: for sure. 691 00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:44,880 Speaker 5: You know what, I wonder if someone in that line 692 00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:48,560 Speaker 5: of communication thought that like has a vendetta against op 693 00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:52,240 Speaker 5: and they're like, bro, this is my opportunity. Like Sarah 694 00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:55,640 Speaker 5: and Robert are already upset, so let me just like 695 00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:59,640 Speaker 5: kick in another like another little lie that'll just snowball 696 00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:00,400 Speaker 5: even harder. 697 00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:02,240 Speaker 7: Yeah see, we know this is what we need to do. 698 00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:03,960 Speaker 7: We need to go detective mode. We need to go 699 00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:06,240 Speaker 7: to the person that she saw in the grocery store 700 00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:06,560 Speaker 7: and be like. 701 00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:09,840 Speaker 3: Who told you? Don't like hang her off the building? 702 00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:10,640 Speaker 2: Oh don't. 703 00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:15,480 Speaker 8: They'll be like, who are you? Don't worry ma'am. Or podcasters. 704 00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:18,040 Speaker 8: We're trying to get to the bottom. But this we 705 00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:20,880 Speaker 8: like start a true crime podcast. I mean, podcasters are 706 00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:22,120 Speaker 8: low key like crimes. 707 00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:25,240 Speaker 5: They're low key the new like investigators now, like come 708 00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:26,800 Speaker 5: on solving all the crimes out here. 709 00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:29,320 Speaker 7: If you don't have a couple of podcasters in your city, 710 00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:31,000 Speaker 7: it's going to be rife with crime. 711 00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:32,440 Speaker 3: That would be. 712 00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:37,280 Speaker 4: A story is Batman, but it's a podcaster. 713 00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:39,560 Speaker 3: It's like, this is a city that knows how to 714 00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:43,200 Speaker 3: keep it secrets. But there's one man, one microphone that 715 00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:45,760 Speaker 3: stands between you and they're coming over. 716 00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:51,000 Speaker 8: It's Mike Man, Mike Man or Mike woman, Mike, Mike 717 00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:55,720 Speaker 8: not non binary, not having a stroke, non binary, non 718 00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:57,720 Speaker 8: binary mic Man, Mike. 719 00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:03,640 Speaker 3: Or you just Mike. But John, I heard you have 720 00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:06,920 Speaker 3: a few thunk a thought story. 721 00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:10,120 Speaker 4: I got funk. 722 00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:14,920 Speaker 3: Give me that funky thunk. So Sam, we made some. 723 00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:18,920 Speaker 5: Pregnancy observations here, we did. But I am switching gears 724 00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:21,840 Speaker 5: to ovulation situations. 725 00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:26,080 Speaker 7: Ovulation. I'm always scared of that time. Well, let's just 726 00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:30,560 Speaker 7: say that me and my girlfriend, I tracked my girlfriend's periods. 727 00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:34,960 Speaker 4: Let's just say just say that. Just just say that 728 00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:36,040 Speaker 4: and nothing more. 729 00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:40,400 Speaker 7: Professor accuses me of cheating, but I prove him wrong. 730 00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:46,600 Speaker 7: I'm actually a geenius. Okay, OPI this is okay, op. 731 00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:48,759 Speaker 7: I'm Samuel Daughter and I'm John Fry and we tell 732 00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:50,839 Speaker 7: the funniest stories on the internet. And John I used 733 00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:53,400 Speaker 7: to So I used to study engineering at LA and 734 00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:55,440 Speaker 7: one of the main ways you would prepare for the 735 00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:57,480 Speaker 7: test is you would go to the test bank. 736 00:34:57,520 --> 00:34:59,919 Speaker 3: Do you have a did you ever have a test bank? Yeah? 737 00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:02,560 Speaker 7: The test bank. You know about test banks. So basically 738 00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:06,800 Speaker 7: it was a either you had it for your fraternity 739 00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:09,360 Speaker 7: or your club, or sometimes the school would have it. 740 00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:12,520 Speaker 7: And every person that was part of that club that 741 00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:16,520 Speaker 7: came before would give their old tests to the test bank, 742 00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:19,560 Speaker 7: and to study, you would go look through all these 743 00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:20,120 Speaker 7: old tests. 744 00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:20,359 Speaker 9: Right. 745 00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:28,000 Speaker 7: Often for our ancient, ridiculously old professors, they were like, 746 00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:30,719 Speaker 7: I gave up teaching a long time ago, so they 747 00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:35,000 Speaker 7: wouldn't really teach the class. But two they would reuse 748 00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:40,080 Speaker 7: all of their questions for like decades, let's go. And 749 00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:43,080 Speaker 7: so often you would go and get you know, get 750 00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:45,520 Speaker 7: a get a test from the test bank, and it 751 00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:49,719 Speaker 7: would be question for question what was on the test 752 00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:51,279 Speaker 7: that was given that day? 753 00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:51,920 Speaker 4: Glorious. 754 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:55,040 Speaker 7: But what really sucked is if you didn't have the 755 00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:57,200 Speaker 7: test bank or didn't know about the test bank, the 756 00:35:57,280 --> 00:36:01,320 Speaker 7: test was really hard. Right, So this story actually relates 757 00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:05,440 Speaker 7: to that that dilemma of test or be tested. 758 00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:07,479 Speaker 4: What one very quick quip. 759 00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:14,160 Speaker 5: I passed my online driver's permit test entirely through Yahoo answers. 760 00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:15,760 Speaker 3: So shout out Yahoo answers. 761 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:18,360 Speaker 7: Shout out Yahoo answers, Thank you for taking it before. 762 00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:20,160 Speaker 7: Thank you for taking the test before us. 763 00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:20,719 Speaker 3: That's right. 764 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:24,960 Speaker 4: Professor accuses me of cheating, but I prove him wrong. 765 00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:27,239 Speaker 3: I'm actually a genius. 766 00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:30,520 Speaker 7: When I was in college, I took a class with 767 00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:34,440 Speaker 7: this gem of a professor. On the first day of class, 768 00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:37,600 Speaker 7: he ass oh, many people thought they would get to 769 00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:41,400 Speaker 7: know this being an engineering school where a sea actually 770 00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:44,600 Speaker 7: was average. Something like five students at the class of 771 00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:48,520 Speaker 7: sixty raised their hands, and then he announced, that's so 772 00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:53,160 Speaker 7: many a's he would give voute that's some messor. So 773 00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:54,759 Speaker 7: I love how you just asked the students, Hey, how 774 00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:56,760 Speaker 7: many as you want? Five people raise their hands? 775 00:36:58,760 --> 00:36:59,920 Speaker 4: Have more self confidence? 776 00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:00,719 Speaker 3: Come on. 777 00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:04,000 Speaker 7: All of our tests for that class were multiple choice 778 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,360 Speaker 7: exams we took online. We were allowed to refer to 779 00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:08,600 Speaker 7: our notes during the test, and we were allowed to 780 00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:11,360 Speaker 7: study from old tests as long as we didn't refer 781 00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:14,239 Speaker 7: to the old test during the exam. Fair enough, I 782 00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:16,920 Speaker 7: studied for the first test, but didn't have access to 783 00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:19,600 Speaker 7: any old exams, so I did fine, but not great. 784 00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:22,319 Speaker 7: By the time the second exam rolled around, I had 785 00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:25,120 Speaker 7: made a friend who was in a fraternity that had 786 00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:28,200 Speaker 7: multiple copies of old exams from this professor. 787 00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:28,560 Speaker 3: Huh. 788 00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:31,960 Speaker 7: We and a couple of others took advantage of the 789 00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:34,400 Speaker 7: rule allowing us to study for old tests. We quickly 790 00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:38,160 Speaker 7: discovered that on these fifty question tests, the professor had 791 00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:41,239 Speaker 7: a repertoire of about seventy five questions he pulled from 792 00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:43,560 Speaker 7: on the first copy of the test we studied from. 793 00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:45,880 Speaker 7: We took the time to work through the answers to 794 00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:48,799 Speaker 7: make sure that we understood each in every one of them. 795 00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:51,239 Speaker 7: But the time we got to the fourth copy, we 796 00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:54,520 Speaker 7: could answer before we even finished reading the question, so 797 00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:59,360 Speaker 7: they were freaking prepared. Wow, exam time rolls around, just 798 00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:03,200 Speaker 7: as with previous years. He pulled the questions he asked 799 00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:06,520 Speaker 7: in the exam from the same pile of questions. I 800 00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:09,880 Speaker 7: think it took me about twelve minutes to answer everything correctly. 801 00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:11,480 Speaker 7: It was supposed to be an hour test. 802 00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:13,480 Speaker 4: Okay, you can't. You can't go that hard. 803 00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:14,680 Speaker 3: He like that hard. 804 00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:17,040 Speaker 7: Just just do the twelve minutes and then just doodle 805 00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:20,600 Speaker 7: for just wait, eighteen minutes. He gave himself away. Oh good, hindsight, 806 00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:22,600 Speaker 7: I probably should have let the clock run for a bit. 807 00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:25,200 Speaker 7: We had an hour, but I went ahead and submitted 808 00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:27,319 Speaker 7: it because I had other things to do. I checked 809 00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:29,040 Speaker 7: in with the others I studied with the next day, 810 00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:31,800 Speaker 7: and all of them had gotten that ninety percent plus. 811 00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:32,600 Speaker 3: Sweet. 812 00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:35,880 Speaker 7: Definitely using that plan for test three and the final. 813 00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:39,360 Speaker 7: The next day, we all received an email from the 814 00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:42,319 Speaker 7: professor letting us know that we are. 815 00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:47,400 Speaker 3: Being reported to the dean for an hoorn A code violation. No. 816 00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:53,200 Speaker 9: He claimed that he had never in all his skars 817 00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:56,520 Speaker 9: had anyone make better than in eighty on. 818 00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:59,040 Speaker 3: One of his tests before. So the fact that we 819 00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:04,880 Speaker 3: made all was clear proof that we hadd. 820 00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:07,680 Speaker 4: And he's been teaching for one hundred years, so you know, 821 00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:08,319 Speaker 4: it's rare. 822 00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:11,360 Speaker 7: This being an engineering school. We were all nerds and 823 00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:14,200 Speaker 7: we're pretty scared about receiving such an email, but we 824 00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:16,759 Speaker 7: agreed the best course of faction was to talk to 825 00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:19,399 Speaker 7: the professor before he went to the Dean to tell 826 00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:21,560 Speaker 7: our side of the story and see if we could 827 00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:23,560 Speaker 7: sort things out. We reached out to him and he 828 00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:26,160 Speaker 7: agreed to meet with us after class. When we met 829 00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:29,200 Speaker 7: with him and laid out our case, he was surprisingly 830 00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:32,399 Speaker 7: receptive to our explanation. I think in reality he didn't 831 00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:34,200 Speaker 7: want to go through the hassle of reporting us all 832 00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:36,200 Speaker 7: to the Dean because he was old, said in his ways, 833 00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:38,279 Speaker 7: and didn't want to do much work. So we left 834 00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:40,920 Speaker 7: the meeting feeling pretty good and agreed within our study 835 00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:43,160 Speaker 7: group we would keep studying from the old tests. 836 00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:43,759 Speaker 3: Well. 837 00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:48,560 Speaker 7: About a week before test three, this professor announces to 838 00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:49,759 Speaker 7: the class that. 839 00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:55,120 Speaker 9: Because some of us had filmed the previous tests so easy, 840 00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:58,880 Speaker 9: the next one would have twice as many questions in 841 00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:01,840 Speaker 9: the same amount of time. And then, being the cheeky 842 00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:04,160 Speaker 9: s ob I am, I asked him as I was 843 00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:07,200 Speaker 9: leaving the class, what would happen if someone made one 844 00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:08,120 Speaker 9: hundred on this test? 845 00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:12,120 Speaker 3: He said, God help you on the final. 846 00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:17,239 Speaker 7: So we use the same approach in studying for the 847 00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:20,239 Speaker 7: test and found the same pattern of a limited set 848 00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:23,200 Speaker 7: of questions. Of course, in addition to the extra questions 849 00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:26,160 Speaker 7: he had promised all the questions on this test would 850 00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:28,319 Speaker 7: be new. So while we again got to the point 851 00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:31,360 Speaker 7: we had the questions and answers memorized, we tried to 852 00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:33,600 Speaker 7: make sure we understood the concepts as much as possible 853 00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:37,280 Speaker 7: to deal with what we expected to be his wrath. 854 00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:41,000 Speaker 7: So basically they were just studying, really well, yeah, they 855 00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:44,719 Speaker 7: were actually understanding, Yeah, just to understand. The test day 856 00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:48,960 Speaker 7: comes around, and lo and behold, eighty seven of the 857 00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:53,839 Speaker 7: questions are pulled directly from old tests, Ten are from 858 00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:56,560 Speaker 7: a guest lecture where he basically pulled the question and 859 00:40:56,680 --> 00:41:00,840 Speaker 7: answered directly from the slides, and three were filler questions 860 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:03,000 Speaker 7: like what's one plus one equal? 861 00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:05,200 Speaker 4: And the Earth revolves around the sun. 862 00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:07,160 Speaker 3: For a false? This guy's so lazy. 863 00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:09,719 Speaker 7: I know he can't he even he says, face my 864 00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:13,080 Speaker 7: wrath and his wrath are what's one plus one two? 865 00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:16,920 Speaker 7: I knew I had everything right. I also knew I 866 00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:19,279 Speaker 7: didn't want to screw myself and everyone else for the 867 00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:23,719 Speaker 7: final I purposely answered the filler questions incorrectly, so if 868 00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:26,360 Speaker 7: he looked at the results he would know what I 869 00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:29,719 Speaker 7: had done. I got my ninety seven, and I never 870 00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:33,000 Speaker 7: heard from the professor about that third test, but I 871 00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:35,840 Speaker 7: like to think of him rage scrolling through the results, like. 872 00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:37,799 Speaker 3: Oh, get those kids one day. 873 00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:41,080 Speaker 7: I don't remember the details about the final but I 874 00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:45,200 Speaker 7: do remember the format being the same exact thing as 875 00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:46,880 Speaker 7: what had been announced at the beginning of the semester. 876 00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:49,360 Speaker 7: My study group also worked together on the group project 877 00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:52,120 Speaker 7: where we made a's and so on. So if he 878 00:41:52,239 --> 00:41:56,320 Speaker 7: really only gave out five a's that semester, we received. 879 00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:57,000 Speaker 3: All of them. 880 00:41:57,520 --> 00:42:03,880 Speaker 4: Wow, man, oh great, great job. I'm a college dropout, 881 00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:07,120 Speaker 4: so I appreciate cheating and stuff like that. Ope, he 882 00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:07,960 Speaker 4: just studied. 883 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:10,520 Speaker 7: Well like that's you know, he just he just didn't 884 00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:13,360 Speaker 7: did He just used the resources at his disposal and 885 00:42:13,719 --> 00:42:15,280 Speaker 7: uh and got around the system. 886 00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:18,840 Speaker 4: Was it was kind of a combination deep study and cheating. 887 00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:20,680 Speaker 7: I feel like you know what I mean, Like, well, 888 00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:23,000 Speaker 7: it wasn't cheating because the professor said he could they 889 00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:24,200 Speaker 7: could study from old tests. 890 00:42:24,239 --> 00:42:25,839 Speaker 4: He could they just that is true. 891 00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:30,520 Speaker 5: But they memorized lots of questions that right, Well, so 892 00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:31,879 Speaker 5: you're like, study from. 893 00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:36,960 Speaker 7: This test, but don't memorize any answers. Well yeah, yeah, 894 00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:40,760 Speaker 7: I ope, he really got everything down. He memorized everything. 895 00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:43,160 Speaker 7: But you know, what you should memorize ooh. 896 00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:45,959 Speaker 4: The subscribe button for OKOP. 897 00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:50,520 Speaker 7: Subscribe on YouTube, follow us on Spotify and TikTok, and 898 00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:52,480 Speaker 7: if you really want to be a support, support us 899 00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:53,000 Speaker 7: on Patreon. 900 00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:56,720 Speaker 5: Join Amanda Willcomb's, Conor Van Buren, Keegan Simmons, and Kathy Quigley. 901 00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:57,279 Speaker 3: See you soon,