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Speaker 1: My girlfriend kissed someone right before we started dating. I

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Speaker 1: want to end our three year relationship.

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Speaker 2: Now, call me crazy, but if you do something before

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Speaker 2: you're dating, it doesn't matter.

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Speaker 3: No, Well we'll see.

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Speaker 1: Am I wrong about my girlfriend of three years lying

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Speaker 1: to me about who kissed her at a party prior

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Speaker 1: to us locking down our monogamy? Well, this lock down

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Speaker 1: came from ambitious Walrus forty to forty.

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Speaker 3: Seven from the our size okay, start time, sar breddits.

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Speaker 1: So, my girlfriend and I late thirties early forties met

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Speaker 1: almost four years ago. We were both long since divorced

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Speaker 1: from our respective school age child's other parents. So they're

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Speaker 1: divorced and they both have like school age kids. Okay, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: both divorced and both have schooled Okay. When we first met,

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Speaker 1: I was nearing the end of a three year relationship,

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Speaker 1: and in part due to traumatic past relationships, I was

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Speaker 1: not looking for anything serious initially, and made it clear

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Speaker 1: at the beginning that I preferred something casual and preferred

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Speaker 1: a non monogamous relationship.

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Speaker 2: Question what is near the end of a relationship mean?

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Speaker 2: It was a bit of overlap.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean that's what it seems like. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: She was very clear too that she was uncomfortable with

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Speaker 1: nominogamy and was worried about the consequences, but ultimately she

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Speaker 1: agreed in order to be with me coercion for the winds.

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Speaker 2: She's like, I don't know, and he's like doing it.

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Speaker 2: She's like, okay.

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Speaker 1: As we got to know each other better, we began

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Speaker 1: spending more and more time together, both just the two

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Speaker 1: of us and all together with our children as well.

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Speaker 1: And after fifteen to sixteen months, during which time I

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Speaker 1: was occasionally fooling around with other women, including my Exsi Messie,

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Speaker 1: my feelings grew for her to the point that I

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Speaker 1: became more interested in creating a future together and blending

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Speaker 1: our families. And to be completely honest here, during the

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Speaker 1: initial period, I wasn't honest with her about sleeping with

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Speaker 1: my act.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, this man is so hypocritical. Term you hypocrites.

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Speaker 1: She was very clear all along, from very early on

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Speaker 1: that she wanted to build a future with me and

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Speaker 1: create a blended family, and we had several conversations about

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Speaker 1: moving in together and possibly even having another child together.

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Speaker 1: In hindsight, I should have locked down a relationship much earlier,

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Speaker 1: but instead I foolishly allowed the condition of non monogamy

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Speaker 1: to go unaddressed for a second year. The thing that

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Speaker 1: I asked for, that I wanted, I let that keep going.

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Speaker 2: I loved it. I didn't want it to keep going,

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Speaker 2: and she also didn't want it to keep going, but

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Speaker 2: you kept it going going.

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Speaker 1: In hindsight, I just suppose that my behavior and actions

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Speaker 1: and our other conversations about our desires for the future

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Speaker 1: were sufficient to communicate my intention. Opie just like has

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Speaker 1: a way of scrambling a bunch of words.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and all of it just at the end of

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Speaker 2: the day. It means we didn't commute, we didn't talk,

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Speaker 2: we didn't talk, we didn't talk about our problems.

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Speaker 1: Ever since we met, she has worked two jobs in

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Speaker 1: sales slash marketing, one for an international company, meaning she

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Speaker 1: constantly receives phone calls and texts at all hours, frequently

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Speaker 1: had to entertain clients happy hours, dinners, organizing work events,

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Speaker 1: slash parties, and lots of travel. She frequently invites me

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Speaker 1: to travel with her and invites me to attend the

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Speaker 1: larger events where my presence wouldn't be inappropriate. At approximately

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Speaker 1: two years in I declined to go with her to

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Speaker 1: a non work party that she invited me to join,

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Speaker 1: and she went ahead with some girlfriends without me.

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Speaker 3: Early afterwards, she.

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Speaker 1: Admitted that while she was dancing at the party, quote unquote,

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Speaker 1: some mirando kissed her and she pushed him away and

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Speaker 1: immediately left the party and proceeded to text.

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Speaker 3: Me on her way home. But I was asleep. I

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Speaker 3: liked the part where she updated him about it. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's awesome immediately.

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Speaker 2: The part where she told him everything that happened about

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Speaker 2: how she got non consensually kissed.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Okay, are we leading up to a problem?

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Speaker 1: OPI, opie, are you about to get the worst double

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Speaker 1: strike in Okay, storytime history, we're about to see. Now,

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Speaker 1: keep in mind, at this point, I still had not

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Speaker 1: yet addressed locking down our relationship, the thing that you began.

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Speaker 2: So again, you aren't in a monogamous relationship, so I

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Speaker 2: had no grounds to be upset with her at the time.

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Speaker 1: For someone kissed non contents. Surely after telling me, you.

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Speaker 2: Would have grounds to be upset with her if you

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Speaker 2: were in a monogamous relationship.

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Speaker 1: There are so many layers to where you cannot be upset,

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Speaker 1: like so many what so many strong layers shortly after

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Speaker 1: telling me about this, I agreed to shift to a

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Speaker 1: committed monogamous relationship. She didn't even intentionally like like kiss

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Speaker 1: someone of her own volition.

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Speaker 2: The jealousy dude crazy. It's shock thinking that this is

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Speaker 2: what kind of pushed him to monogamy, and not like, oh,

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Speaker 2: you know what, I actually really care for my partner

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Speaker 2: and I think that I want to just focus on

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Speaker 2: this one person now. No, it was like, oh, she

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Speaker 2: kissed someone, Oh.

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Speaker 3: She's mine, dude. Wow.

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Speaker 1: I have honored that commitment ever since and never had

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Speaker 1: any cause to doubt her either. Fast forward another one

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Speaker 1: and a half years. A few months ago, she received

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Speaker 1: a rather innocuous Happy Mother's Day text from a guy

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Speaker 1: that I once met at one of her girlfriend's parties

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Speaker 1: towards the beginning of our relationship. At the time I

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Speaker 1: met him, she told me they had a completely platonic friendship,

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Speaker 1: which I accepted at face value. However, looking back on it,

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Speaker 1: I do remember getting bad vibes meeting him and then

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Speaker 1: nearly four years together. I've never felt inclined to pick

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Speaker 1: up her phone and snoop, but I got an awful

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Speaker 1: feeling in my gut when I saw that text, and

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Speaker 1: I scrolled through her messages and found that he had

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Speaker 1: texted her the eggplant emoji in the past, shortly before

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Speaker 1: our relationship began. Once again, everyone before before, So not

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Speaker 1: only before they locked down the nominogamous. To my understanding,

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Speaker 1: this is before the relationship even started.

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Speaker 2: So OPI has not only you know, done everything before

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Speaker 2: this yes is now snooping through his girlfriend's phone, yeah

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Speaker 2: and calling her or like getting mad about things that

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Speaker 2: happened before the relationship began. And once again this man

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Speaker 2: that he's mad about out non consensually kissed.

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Speaker 1: Her, that the guy non consensually kised her, this person,

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Speaker 1: which I believe is the.

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Speaker 3: Same person I see.

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Speaker 2: He's so far. When I'm getting is that he's mad

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Speaker 2: that she said it was a rando and now he's

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Speaker 2: finding out that the.

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Speaker 1: Ah, dude, Oh my god, what is there to be

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Speaker 1: bad about? Please explain. I did not immediately confront her

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Speaker 1: about the text, which indicated that she had lied to

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Speaker 1: me about her history with this person, again early in

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Speaker 1: our relationship and prior to our monogamy commitment. Afterwards, I

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Speaker 1: started to notice over the last few months that I

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Speaker 1: was becoming more distrustful and becoming more quick to anger

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Speaker 1: over insignificant crap ridiculous. I noticed I began to get

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Speaker 1: more upset. I had this observation that I am upset.

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Speaker 2: I looked into myself and I noticed that a book.

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Speaker 1: Finally, a couple of weeks ago, I initiated a conversation

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Speaker 1: where I told her that I still did not completely

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Speaker 1: trust her.

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Speaker 2: Do you mean still did not?

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Speaker 3: Was there anything before? It sounded like you were dude.

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Speaker 1: She became upset, crying, offended that after all this time,

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Speaker 1: I still hadn't learned that I could trust her. So

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Speaker 1: we continued the discussion and I asked her point blank

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Speaker 1: who kissed her at the dance party. She initially pushed

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Speaker 1: back and asked harshly why I needed to know. I

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Speaker 1: think she could see the look of shock on my

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Speaker 1: face at her response, and eventually she admitted that it

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Speaker 1: was the same platonic friend who sent her the eggplant text.

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Speaker 1: My shock only grew because I did not realize that

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Speaker 1: these two things were connected. I had believed her when

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Speaker 1: she told me it was some random person that kissed

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Speaker 1: her at the party. However, I suppose deep down I

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Speaker 1: still had a sinking feeling.

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Speaker 2: Oh so he just realized I just assumed they were

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Speaker 2: same guy.

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Speaker 3: Well you were.

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Speaker 2: I'm just so freaking smarting.

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Speaker 1: I was like, is my reading comprehension so bad that

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Speaker 1: I don't understand.

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Speaker 2: That my reading comprehension is so good that I can

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Speaker 2: predict to Wow?

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Speaker 3: How does Sophia have like one hundred and fifty percent

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Speaker 3: reading comprehension.

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Speaker 1: And then all of us have like ten percent combined

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Speaker 1: reading her She knows she's doing okay.

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Speaker 2: No, I know some of the stories, thank you very much.

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Speaker 2: I only look at the titles.

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Speaker 3: Got him, Oh, got him.

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Speaker 2: Just a freaking genius, Thank you very much.

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Speaker 3: That'd make matters worse.

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Speaker 1: This guy has come up a handful of time since

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Speaker 1: I've met him, both before and after the kiss in

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Speaker 1: conversations with her girlfriend, and she never took the opportunity

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Speaker 1: to set the record straight.

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Speaker 3: Even worse still.

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Speaker 2: Again, she told him right after the kiss happened, and

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Speaker 2: probably would have said this guy did it if he

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Speaker 2: had picked up the phone, true, like she I don't

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Speaker 2: he never asked who did it?

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Speaker 3: He didn't. Yeah, I mean maybe she well, I guess

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Speaker 3: he's coming. I was gonna say, maybe.

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Speaker 1: She could have been like, oh, I didn't think he

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Speaker 1: would remember who it was. Yeah, but I guess he's

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Speaker 1: saying that he has come up in conversations, so I

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Speaker 1: guess you would know.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I mean, worst case scenario, even if it is him,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't matter.

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Speaker 2: Like she didn't want to kiss him exactly, and she

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Speaker 2: told him immediately, Honestly, if she had told I don't know. Like,

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Speaker 2: even if she hasn't told him and he finds out this,

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Speaker 2: like op finds this out, I feel like my feelings

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Speaker 2: in this moment would not be oh my god, why

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Speaker 2: didn't you tell me? I'm so jealous. It'd be like, wow,

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Speaker 2: I want to keep like are you okay? One hundred Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it wouldn't be jealousy.

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Speaker 3: An insane reaction.

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Speaker 1: Also, do we know if this not that it even matters,

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Speaker 1: But do we know if the kiss was during the

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Speaker 1: non monogamous or the monogamous non monogamous? Dude, There's literally

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Speaker 1: so many reasons, but number one that Trump's everything else

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Speaker 1: is literally exactly what you just said. The response should be,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, are you okay? Like can we keep

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Speaker 1: this guy away? For like, is there anything I can

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Speaker 1: do to help?

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Speaker 3: Like? I think that should be Yeah.

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Speaker 2: The response, oh, we know, is egg plant happened before

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Speaker 2: the relationship, yes, and not the kiss happened for monogamy?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, what are we doing here? Seriously? My guy?

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Speaker 1: Even worse still, he says, after the kiss and after

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Speaker 1: we committed to each other, the guy picked up her

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Speaker 1: and her girlfriend from another party one evening and drove

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Speaker 1: them home after her girlfriend found out that she had

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Speaker 1: just suddenly lost someone in the family.

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Speaker 2: Even worse, her friend lost a family member, and he

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Speaker 2: drove them home.

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Speaker 1: She told me at the time that this guy had

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Speaker 1: picked them up from the party and dropped them off

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Speaker 1: at her girlfriends, But now she's admitted to me in

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Speaker 1: recent discussions that the two of them dropped her girlfriend

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Speaker 1: off home and they went and had a drink together

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Speaker 1: in honor of her girlfriend's deceased family member. Quote unquote,

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Speaker 1: another outright lie which has no good explanation.

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Speaker 2: Dude, that is the only lie that I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 2: why would you lie about that? Yeah, but it's still again,

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Speaker 2: they're not monogamous, so it's not.

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Speaker 1: Literally like you're out here hooking up with your exonymy, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and tell her that, and you're like getting mad. If

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Speaker 1: any bare minimum you have to say, like all right,

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Speaker 1: here's my massive fed up thing. But this thing also

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Speaker 1: didn't make me feel great. Yeah, but I digress, And

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Speaker 1: if these lies word enough, guys, if this wasn't enough, ah,

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Speaker 1: But I finally confronted her about the text. She pretended

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Speaker 1: to have no idea what I was talking about, panted

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Speaker 1: me her phone to prove her innocence before looking at it.

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Speaker 1: I asked her if she had quote unquote sanitized her phone,

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Speaker 1: and she pretended she didn't understand what I meant. When

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Speaker 1: I explicitly asked her if she had deleted any incriminating messages,

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Speaker 1: she looked at me in the eyes and told me no.

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Speaker 1: So I'm sure you can probably guess that when I

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Speaker 1: scrolled down, the egg plant had been deleted. Then she

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Speaker 1: began what I can only describe as an Oscar winning performance,

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Speaker 1: claiming to not understand what I was talking about, no

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Speaker 1: idea about any egg plant text. This performance lasted a

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Speaker 1: good couple of minutes before she finally recognized that I

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Speaker 1: had her dead to rights, and she ultimately admitted that

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Speaker 1: she had deleted it and covered it up because she

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Speaker 1: was worried about how I would respond. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: maybe because he's an insecure, jealous maniac.

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Speaker 2: This is the only thing I will give him. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: shouldn't have lied about that? Yes, totally the only thing

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Speaker 2: he gets here. But still it.

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Speaker 1: Doesn't erase all of the stuff over here of like

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Speaker 1: him not worrying about her hooking up with his ex,

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Speaker 1: and like snooping through her phone, stoobing through her phone,

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Speaker 1: pushing her into the nominomics relationship like there is by boys,

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Speaker 1: a rep sheet is and she's got one one thing

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Speaker 1: on it.

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Speaker 2: Come on, we have an egg plant emode you sent

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Speaker 2: before the relationship, that is it, and.

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Speaker 1: She's covering it up, which again, like you say, like, okay,

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Speaker 1: be honest in front, but she's probably covering up because

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Speaker 1: she knows that he's so insecure.

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Speaker 3: Terrible reaction, you know. Oh my god, I.

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Speaker 1: Would like to see what he sent before the relationship happened, dude.

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Speaker 3: That part. That part.

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Speaker 1: She now claims that prior to our relationship beginning, she

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Speaker 1: went on a couple of dates and fooled around with him,

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Speaker 1: but didn't have spicy sleep the one time that they

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Speaker 1: came close because he refused to wear protection. Oh my goodness,

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Speaker 1: nicky man too, but protect your soul by joining us

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Speaker 1: on YouTube every weekday at three pm.

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Speaker 3: We're live like we are right now. Now.

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Speaker 1: I recognize that I've created this mess from the very

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Speaker 1: beginning by not locking down a relationship as soon as

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Speaker 1: I began having feelings for her and maybe just being

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Speaker 1: a butt wife. Yeah, and I certainly recognized that I

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Speaker 1: have plenty of blame lying at my feet that you do.

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Speaker 1: But obviously I'm having a hard time believing anything she

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Speaker 1: tells me, and I'm not sure if I can continue

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Speaker 1: in a relationship where the.

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Speaker 3: Trust has been broken like this.

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Speaker 1: Breaking things off will be painful for both of us,

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Speaker 1: and there will certainly be collateral damage to both of

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Speaker 1: our children, who have grown to love the other as

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Speaker 1: parental figures and each other as near siblings. However, continuing

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Speaker 1: this path may only serve to allow damage to increase

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Speaker 1: the longer things continue. That's the end of the story.

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Speaker 1: But I mean, it just seems so obvious that OPI's

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Speaker 1: to a hole. Yeah, I'm trying to think, what what's

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Speaker 1: the real question here?

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Speaker 2: Really? Oh?

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Speaker 1: Maybe should they continue their relationship? But Sophia, yes, look, yeah,

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Speaker 1: she had a little bit of an area where it's like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: you could have been honest and forthcoming, but like I

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Speaker 1: think within the context like knowing how insecure and hypocritical

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Speaker 1: he is, and he's probably painting himself in such a

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Speaker 1: good light.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: By the way, he never.

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Speaker 1: Mentioned anything later on about admitting to hooking up with

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Speaker 1: his ex.

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Speaker 2: That's what I was wondering. I was like, did he

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Speaker 2: did he ever tell her that?

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Speaker 1: He didn't tell us that, so I have to assume No. Right,

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Speaker 1: he's still sitting on this, And I think he mentioned

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Speaker 1: it because he knows even if they didn't have like

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Speaker 1: an explicit like like boundary and they're like non Marcus relationship,

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Speaker 1: he knows that it would probably hurt her.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, to know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so no, it's weird. It's weird. I also I

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Speaker 2: thought it was kind of funny when he was like, oh,

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Speaker 2: did you sanitize your phone? And she was like and

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Speaker 2: he was like, she didn't even she pretended to not

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Speaker 2: understand me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if I would understand what someone like

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Speaker 2: if they meant did you, like.

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Speaker 1: I mean like like sanitize? No, did you sanitize it?

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Speaker 1: Off any unsavory? Jerney messages like yeah, what are we

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Speaker 1: talking about?

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Speaker 3: Her?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: So I'm I'm definitely on not to.

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Speaker 2: They Yeah, definitely, he's like the worst person in this situation.

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Speaker 2: But it seems like in general, neither of them are

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Speaker 2: communicating that well. Yeah, and I think there's for sure

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Speaker 2: a breakdown of trust that's happened.

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Speaker 1: So it's like just and to be honest, like the

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Speaker 1: whole first part of their relationship, Like, it really sound

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Speaker 1: like he just kind of pressured, guilt tripped whatever word you.

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Speaker 3: Want to use, her into the non monogamy.

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Speaker 1: If I had to guess, she probably was like, you know,

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Speaker 1: maybe thought this guy was interesting, maybe enjoy the attention

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Speaker 1: or something, but probably actually felt guilty and confused because

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Speaker 1: she probably didn't want to be in a non monogamous relationship.

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Speaker 1: And she's like, do I want to? I mean tech

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Speaker 1: it's totally actually allowed, but do I want to do it? Like,

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Speaker 1: I think the only thing she did wrong was just

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Speaker 1: not being one hundred percent forthright with like the text

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Speaker 1: and stuff or delete.

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Speaker 2: Deleting the text is not the move for sure.

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Speaker 1: Ultimately, if she had just communicated like, oh I'm seeing

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Speaker 1: this guy, there's nothing for.

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Speaker 2: Her nothing, And she didn't even see him.

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Speaker 3: She didn't even see him.

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Speaker 2: You didn't even see him, she said, they.

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Speaker 3: Fooled around in the non monogamous, the.

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Speaker 2: Non monogamous part of the very beginning briefly, which still

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Speaker 2: has broken.

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Speaker 1: No rules of the boundaries that you guys have sad,

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Speaker 1: So yeah, please split up, please split up. Yeah, super

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Speaker 1: super immature. I think this is a bad relationship. I'm

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Speaker 1: not surprised his first relationship didn't work out.

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Speaker 2: Not surprised.

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Speaker 3: You know what else, I'm not surprised about what.

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Speaker 2: Let me read them, read them.

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Speaker 3: Here we go, all right,