1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,000 Speaker 1: We could be reading We're not Alive on the air, 2 00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:03,800 Speaker 1: just like we're going to read this one right now. Sorry, 3 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:06,560 Speaker 1: hold on tight, we got it for you. Here. It 4 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:10,800 Speaker 1: is the Strawberry Letter, all right. Subject Your child is 5 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:15,040 Speaker 1: too darn big. Dear Stephen Shirley, I need some advice. 6 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:18,720 Speaker 1: I am a thirty year old babysitter at my church's daycare, 7 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,680 Speaker 1: and I'm really concerned about one child at the daycare 8 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:24,319 Speaker 1: because of his weight. The boy is only four years 9 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:26,920 Speaker 1: old and the average weight of his age is thirty 10 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:29,520 Speaker 1: five to forty pounds. And I know this because I 11 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:32,720 Speaker 1: looked it up. It's against the church daycare policy for 12 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,720 Speaker 1: me to weigh the children, but I'm almost sure this 13 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:39,200 Speaker 1: boy weighs at least sixty pounds. This is a big 14 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,200 Speaker 1: problem for me, so I monitor his food and drinks 15 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:45,879 Speaker 1: all day long. The daycare's menu is carefully planned by 16 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:50,479 Speaker 1: a nutritionist and we offer very health conscious snacks, so 17 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:53,120 Speaker 1: it has to be from what he eats at home. 18 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:56,840 Speaker 1: His parents are both on the larger side too. It 19 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:59,600 Speaker 1: is obvious that this child isn't used to playing and 20 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 1: running around as much as he should, because he gets 21 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:05,800 Speaker 1: tired so quickly when he's at recess. He tries to 22 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,360 Speaker 1: keep up, but he can't and he starts panting and 23 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:11,959 Speaker 1: breathing heavily. He has started throwing food back at me 24 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:15,280 Speaker 1: and the other babysitter. If we give him something healthy 25 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:18,839 Speaker 1: like carrots or apple slices as a snack, he complains 26 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:22,640 Speaker 1: of being hungry after lunch, so his mom started sending 27 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:25,399 Speaker 1: fruit snacks and other sugar retreats for him to nibble 28 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:29,280 Speaker 1: on throughout the day. I try to politely tell his 29 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:31,800 Speaker 1: dad that his son demands to eat most of the 30 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:34,840 Speaker 1: day and he throws food at us if he doesn't 31 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:38,759 Speaker 1: want what we give him. The dad proudly said, that's 32 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:43,119 Speaker 1: my boy. He's always had a nice appetite. So how 33 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:46,160 Speaker 1: can I revisit this topic without getting the parents upset 34 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:48,880 Speaker 1: and without getting into trouble at work. I love kids, 35 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:51,160 Speaker 1: and I have three of my own, so this really 36 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:53,960 Speaker 1: concerns me. I bet you are going to tell me 37 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:57,120 Speaker 1: to mind my own business, Steve, I can't this time. 38 00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 1: I know I should speak up. Please tell me how 39 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,600 Speaker 1: to handle this well. First of all, I got to 40 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:05,600 Speaker 1: say thank you for caring. I mean, we definitely need 41 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:08,200 Speaker 1: more people like you in the world. You definitely have 42 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:11,600 Speaker 1: three kids of your own and your babysitter at the church, 43 00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:14,360 Speaker 1: and you care what's going down at the church. But 44 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:16,560 Speaker 1: now you got to know that when you're talking about 45 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:21,080 Speaker 1: other people's kids, it's more than likely always going to 46 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:25,200 Speaker 1: be a problem. Okay. And so many parents are uneducated 47 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:28,040 Speaker 1: when it comes to how harmful the wrong foods can be. 48 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:31,200 Speaker 1: I mean, clearly his parents are you said they were 49 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:34,919 Speaker 1: on the larger side. His parents are clueless. I also 50 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:39,880 Speaker 1: suggest that not only is the baby overweight, he's four 51 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,520 Speaker 1: years old. This kid is overweight. He needs some discipline. 52 00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:44,440 Speaker 1: I mean, why is he throwing food back at you? 53 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:47,520 Speaker 1: This is a bad kid right here. This is completely 54 00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:50,760 Speaker 1: unacceptable what he's doing. So I would first get with 55 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:54,320 Speaker 1: the nutritionist and set up a meeting with if it's 56 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:56,960 Speaker 1: a female, a male, setup a meeting with him or 57 00:02:57,000 --> 00:03:00,160 Speaker 1: her and the four year old's parents do that immediately. 58 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,960 Speaker 1: Maybe if the parents hear it from the nutritionists, they 59 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:10,120 Speaker 1: will start making better choices at home, maybe because obviously 60 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:13,079 Speaker 1: they're not doing that. They're sending him sugary snacks, you know, 61 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:16,080 Speaker 1: to school, so he can eat throughout the day. That's 62 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:18,440 Speaker 1: not good. No, that's not good. And maybe he throws 63 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:21,119 Speaker 1: food at home and he's just a bad, undisciplined kid. 64 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:24,480 Speaker 1: So all that needs to be discussed. Then you can 65 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:27,600 Speaker 1: have a separate meeting with the parents about his behavior 66 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:31,600 Speaker 1: because this is, as I mentioned, totally unacceptable. This kid 67 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,720 Speaker 1: is four years old. Why is what is he doing? 68 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:39,960 Speaker 1: And his relationship with food is crazy already at four. 69 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:43,400 Speaker 1: This is his parents' fault. They need to be educated, 70 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 1: They need to know the real The father in school 71 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,560 Speaker 1: saying that's my boy proudly. No, that's not how to 72 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:53,800 Speaker 1: handle this. This is definitely a teaching moment in this family, 73 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:56,480 Speaker 1: and that's what I suggest you do. Set up a 74 00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,800 Speaker 1: meeting with the nutritionist. You don't want to lose your 75 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:01,560 Speaker 1: job over this. Definitely don't want to do that because 76 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:04,119 Speaker 1: you could. You want to handle it gingerly. You want 77 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:07,240 Speaker 1: to get maybe the administration involved, all of that, Okay, 78 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,560 Speaker 1: to handle this. Remember this is the four year old kid. 79 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,240 Speaker 1: This is your job. And these parents sound like they're 80 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:15,040 Speaker 1: they're they're not too with it. They just want to 81 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:18,360 Speaker 1: do what this kid wants to do. All right, Steve, 82 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:27,200 Speaker 1: oh so glad, Well, go forward your child. It's too 83 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:34,760 Speaker 1: damn big, it says, darn huh, it's darn big for real, 84 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:41,719 Speaker 1: Sure d A r N is darn that our is 85 00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:48,160 Speaker 1: connected to the uh. She's thirty ye old babysitter at 86 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:52,760 Speaker 1: the church day kill. She's concerned about this boy down 87 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:59,680 Speaker 1: now because of his weight. Now the boy's foe. And 88 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:02,120 Speaker 1: she said the average weight for his age is between 89 00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:06,080 Speaker 1: thirty five and forty pounds. She said, I noticed because 90 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:09,800 Speaker 1: I looked it up. But I'm sure that this boy 91 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:14,000 Speaker 1: weighs at least sixty pounds plus. Now you're probably thinking 92 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:19,040 Speaker 1: out there, well, forty pounds if he's sixty, that's twenty 93 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:22,039 Speaker 1: pounds old weight. Yeah, but he two foot eight though. 94 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:38,400 Speaker 1: See you put sixty pounds on two foot eight. See 95 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:42,040 Speaker 1: when you're two foot eight and you're sixty pounds, it's 96 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:44,159 Speaker 1: a lot of stuff. You look since y'all that church 97 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:48,200 Speaker 1: proper up one in real thick bibbles and stand him 98 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:53,360 Speaker 1: next to it. So now we got a problem. The 99 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:58,719 Speaker 1: Daycarre's menu is planned by nutritionists off a very healthy, 100 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:03,800 Speaker 1: conscious snack. So the lady says, got to be what 101 00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:07,039 Speaker 1: he eat at home we come back, I'll tell you 102 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:11,000 Speaker 1: exactly what he eating at the house when he come back, 103 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:15,360 Speaker 1: and I'll tell you why he gets so tired, so 104 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:20,880 Speaker 1: damn quick at recess. All right, we'll have part two 105 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:24,200 Speaker 1: of Steve's response coming up. Ain't that much to recap? 106 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:27,120 Speaker 1: Prow you old boy down there at the church where 107 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:31,400 Speaker 1: a little over sixty seventy pounds he is standing over 108 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:38,400 Speaker 1: there in the corner. Your boy over there, looking like SpongeBob, 109 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:47,480 Speaker 1: strong little boy over there, giving them all they want. Now, 110 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:49,880 Speaker 1: you don't understand how he don't wait as much because 111 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:52,800 Speaker 1: of all the nutrition y'all packing into these very healthy, 112 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:56,159 Speaker 1: conscious snacks. Do you say, so, it's got to be 113 00:06:56,279 --> 00:06:58,040 Speaker 1: from what he eat at home? You damn right, it's 114 00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:01,679 Speaker 1: what he eat at home. Now you've been in church, lady, 115 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,760 Speaker 1: you say his parents is both on the larger side too. 116 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:08,600 Speaker 1: What do larger side me? Well, let's look at him. 117 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:12,360 Speaker 1: He two ft eight, he waved out seven. Ye are here, 118 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:14,600 Speaker 1: but I'm just trying to work out which What does 119 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:18,080 Speaker 1: she say when she say they're both on the largest right? Right? 120 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:20,320 Speaker 1: She says? He tries to keep up, but he can't 121 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:24,480 Speaker 1: because he starts panting and breathing heavily. He was just wheezing, 122 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:28,640 Speaker 1: that's all. So we went over there and we got him, 123 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:31,160 Speaker 1: got his little lass up and then he went over 124 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,640 Speaker 1: there to the marriage around. He jumped on it and 125 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:38,200 Speaker 1: threw all the kids up in the all. So what 126 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:41,360 Speaker 1: do we have to do, Hill, I don't know what 127 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:45,080 Speaker 1: to tell you. Take him out of the small day 128 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:51,400 Speaker 1: kids sitting daycare. Excuse me, take him out of the 129 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:55,280 Speaker 1: daycill and put him in the regular Sunday school class 130 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:59,040 Speaker 1: with the big kids. Really, yeah, he can't pass for 131 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:01,720 Speaker 1: baby no mobile to put him in the junior card 132 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:04,560 Speaker 1: class with the eight year olds. Let's put him on 133 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:06,560 Speaker 1: over there. He folded double his weight. He didn't double 134 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 1: his weight, mikes with double his age. Put him in 135 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:14,600 Speaker 1: there with eight year olds. Now here's the other problem. 136 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:17,640 Speaker 1: When he's he tries to keep up, but he can't. 137 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:23,040 Speaker 1: He starts panting and breathing heavily. He has started throwing 138 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:25,480 Speaker 1: food back of me and the other babysitter. If we 139 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:28,560 Speaker 1: give him some healthy like carrots or apple slices as 140 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:31,040 Speaker 1: a snack, yeah, y'all don't want this. This ain't what 141 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:33,160 Speaker 1: I You can't look like this with these cats and 142 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:40,559 Speaker 1: apple slices. Y'all ain't got no pie. He complains of 143 00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:43,480 Speaker 1: being hungry after lunch, so as mom started sending fruit 144 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:46,000 Speaker 1: snacks and other sugar retreats for him to nibble on 145 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:49,600 Speaker 1: throughout the day. This boy just need a constant shot. 146 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,800 Speaker 1: I tried to politely tell the dad his son the 147 00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:54,800 Speaker 1: man to eat most of the day, and he throws 148 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:56,520 Speaker 1: food at us if he don't get what they want. 149 00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 1: And the dad said, as my boy always had nice 150 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:04,920 Speaker 1: appetite about So how can I revisit this topic without 151 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:08,520 Speaker 1: getting the parents upset and without getting into trouble at work. 152 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:11,240 Speaker 1: I love kids, I have three of them own, so 153 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:13,560 Speaker 1: this really concerns me. I bet you're gonna tell me 154 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,920 Speaker 1: to mind my business, Steve. No, I'm not gonna tell 155 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:18,959 Speaker 1: you that you should it. But I'm not gonna tell 156 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:24,079 Speaker 1: you that. And so I think if he's throwing food 157 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:25,960 Speaker 1: at you, whatever food he throw a you, you ought 158 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:30,920 Speaker 1: to throw it back. The I t I tackle this 159 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,319 Speaker 1: little chubby ass and stuff food down and throw What 160 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,280 Speaker 1: you're gonna do it can't run? You just said he 161 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:42,120 Speaker 1: can't run nowhere through it back this. Yeah, ain't trying 162 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:43,679 Speaker 1: to set a good example. What you're gonna do? Your 163 00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:45,680 Speaker 1: thought on me? Maybe you get someone you you stop 164 00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:51,000 Speaker 1: all the throwing. I think I to get Shirley. What 165 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,080 Speaker 1: a question would you want to ask me what you 166 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:56,120 Speaker 1: want to ask me about this letter? Seriously, I think 167 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,440 Speaker 1: she should really have a talk with the parents. Do 168 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:00,720 Speaker 1: you think she should mention in this to the parents 169 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:03,079 Speaker 1: who are having a meeting with Yeah, yeah, yeah, but 170 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:04,599 Speaker 1: they're gonna be sitting there looking at it like she 171 00:10:04,679 --> 00:10:09,920 Speaker 1: craze I have you ain't never talked to that real? 172 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:16,679 Speaker 1: What's what's the difference with big press? The same thing. 173 00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:18,240 Speaker 1: If you ain't there talking about what he eat at 174 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:20,680 Speaker 1: the house, they see this fit and not be your business. 175 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:24,640 Speaker 1: So because the lady said in the letter, what's tip, 176 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:27,680 Speaker 1: they're going to tell the teachers none of your Yeah, 177 00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:31,880 Speaker 1: because for your son, what's the typical breakfast? Who? He 178 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:36,959 Speaker 1: probably eating my head doing the I half a dozen eggs. 179 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:43,719 Speaker 1: He's only four. Appetite, he got a nice apptitude. You know, 180 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:45,640 Speaker 1: I sit there with him. Sometimes I can't even hang 181 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,360 Speaker 1: with him. I eat my phone. Y'all got to get 182 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:51,000 Speaker 1: on because he's stealing them. Sometimes he eat degree He 183 00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:54,280 Speaker 1: eat eggs right over my pleak. Don't you know you're 184 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,839 Speaker 1: feeding him too much? He's only a four year old boy. 185 00:10:56,880 --> 00:11:01,199 Speaker 1: You're feel growing ball or miss Strawberry. Yes, he is. 186 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:04,120 Speaker 1: He's a growing boy. Well, I'm concerned he's he's a 187 00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:07,920 Speaker 1: bit overweight for his age and side. Well you know, 188 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:10,960 Speaker 1: look here now, miss Shirley, that's you really getting into 189 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:14,640 Speaker 1: really a touchy area with us. Yeah, I'm discussing weight. 190 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:17,319 Speaker 1: You know. We don't see nothing wrong with his weight. 191 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:21,320 Speaker 1: Is you thinking it's something wrong with him causing his weight? Well, 192 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:24,000 Speaker 1: I looked it up. You looked up what I looked 193 00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:27,880 Speaker 1: up the average weight for for a boy four years old, 194 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 1: and it's thirty five to forty pounds. Your son is 195 00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:36,280 Speaker 1: uh sixty right at sixth right? Yeah, and he's four Yeah, 196 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:42,440 Speaker 1: so I'm yeah, health wise, you know this is not good. Yeah, 197 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:45,960 Speaker 1: well you know. Oh I tell you what, Miss Shirley. 198 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:49,160 Speaker 1: Did you take that up with my wife? All right, look, 199 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:53,679 Speaker 1: we could go. You can email us or instagram us 200 00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:57,880 Speaker 1: your thoughts on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM, 201 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:00,400 Speaker 1: or you can check out the Strawberry Letter pod cast 202 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:04,640 Speaker 1: on demand. Yes, ma'am, you're listening to the Stave Harvey 203 00:12:04,679 --> 00:12:05,280 Speaker 1: Morning Show