1 00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:04,359 Speaker 1: This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast. 2 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:08,400 Speaker 2: The most dramatic podcast ever iHeartRadio. Hi everybody, I. 3 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:11,240 Speaker 3: Ben Higgins and I'm Chris Harrison. 4 00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:15,240 Speaker 2: Welcome to the most dramatic podcast ever with Ashley. 5 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:18,840 Speaker 4: I and she's not here, So as a result, Chris 6 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:21,160 Speaker 4: and I are going to co host this with one 7 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:23,120 Speaker 4: of our favorite people in the world, Jason Tartik. 8 00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:24,640 Speaker 1: Jared, Jared's here. 9 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:28,800 Speaker 2: We are in uh well been tell them where we are. 10 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:32,680 Speaker 4: We are in Carmel, California. This is a very special 11 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:36,120 Speaker 4: event for iHeart. We bring anybody we can out to 12 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:39,839 Speaker 4: iHeart to interview them because we like them. So Jason, 13 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:42,040 Speaker 4: you were in here earlier. But when Chris and I 14 00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:44,960 Speaker 4: were talking about this with Dean, we said, this trip 15 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:47,440 Speaker 4: is really meant for us to invite people we like 16 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:49,200 Speaker 4: to hang out with to catch up in our lives, 17 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:52,199 Speaker 4: and you're definitely one of those people, and so tonight 18 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:56,120 Speaker 4: I don't think it's a secret that we have a 19 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 4: lot to catch up with you on. But then also 20 00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:00,280 Speaker 4: we want to talk to you about your future, like 21 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:03,960 Speaker 4: what's exciting outside of you know, obviously what's going on 22 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:06,480 Speaker 4: in the news right now. 23 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:10,120 Speaker 3: But let's obviously start with you, should we start with 24 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:10,680 Speaker 3: the Middle East? 25 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:13,839 Speaker 2: Where should we start? What problems should we solve? Tonight 26 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 2: after four bottles of wine at the Mission Ranch. 27 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:20,120 Speaker 4: Well, I think, Chris, the thing we should start with 28 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:22,959 Speaker 4: is Jason, are you single? 29 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:24,600 Speaker 1: Guys? It's good to be here. 30 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:28,520 Speaker 5: I got Dean here, Chris here, Ben here. I feel 31 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:31,800 Speaker 5: like I'm back in twenty eighteen. It is good to 32 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:33,400 Speaker 5: be here. Jay and I am I single. 33 00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:35,679 Speaker 2: Yes, Jay and I had a long talk and because 34 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,480 Speaker 2: he came to Austin and I hung out for a 35 00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:40,840 Speaker 2: while and he was a the only person who I've 36 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:43,400 Speaker 2: ever done a podcast with at my house and then 37 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:44,759 Speaker 2: he spent the night. We had a sleepover. 38 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:46,880 Speaker 3: We had a sleepover. Yeah, why did that happen? 39 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:49,880 Speaker 4: I want to hear the backstory, because what happened We 40 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:52,840 Speaker 4: were going to dinner to night and I was standing 41 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:56,040 Speaker 4: next to Lauren and she goes, I love Jason Tartick. 42 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:58,360 Speaker 4: I said, that's great. I love Jason Tartick. But why 43 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:02,160 Speaker 4: do you love Jason Tartick? Was because Jason Tartick helped 44 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:04,360 Speaker 4: break down boxes at my house. 45 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:09,440 Speaker 2: The guy did one nice thing. He's gotten He's gotten 46 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:12,600 Speaker 2: more mileage off of this one benevolent. 47 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,400 Speaker 3: You've done it one hundred times for her. 48 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:16,480 Speaker 2: I've been breaking up boxes, taking out the trash for 49 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:21,480 Speaker 2: five years. You know, jay comes by one afternoon, kicks 50 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:23,680 Speaker 2: a box and she's like, Oh, he's the greatest guy 51 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:26,760 Speaker 2: in the world, living with Gandhi. 52 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:28,160 Speaker 1: All of a sudden, I'll take it. 53 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:31,079 Speaker 2: He's been he's been selling that for a while. But 54 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:32,880 Speaker 2: you know, we did, we we got deep. 55 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:33,480 Speaker 5: It was. 56 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:37,040 Speaker 2: It was honestly a very emotional night for both of us. 57 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:41,000 Speaker 2: So we kinda we got done and we we just 58 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:44,080 Speaker 2: kind of went down the hall in separate ways and we're. 59 00:02:43,919 --> 00:02:47,560 Speaker 1: Like, we just got to be Yeah, quiet time. It was. 60 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:49,240 Speaker 1: It was. It was a deep one. It was a 61 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:49,639 Speaker 1: good one. 62 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:51,840 Speaker 3: It was therapeutic. It was good and thank you for. 63 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,560 Speaker 2: Cathartic and I think it was something we needed. And 64 00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:56,920 Speaker 2: it's something like we've all become good friends. We can 65 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,760 Speaker 2: all have these conversations and it's probably dangerous to be 66 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:03,840 Speaker 2: doing this after, you know, four bottles of wine. But 67 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:06,720 Speaker 2: Jaye and I did talk about him being single and 68 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:09,799 Speaker 2: about looking for love. And I'm sure you've dated more 69 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:10,919 Speaker 2: since I've seen you out. 70 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:12,560 Speaker 1: There, We've talked, you've seen me. Where have you seen me. 71 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:17,920 Speaker 2: I mean the thing with Jay is Instagram is the 72 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:20,720 Speaker 2: tip of the iceberg. Yea ninety percent of it is 73 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:26,600 Speaker 2: below the water. So if I'm seeing of the entertainment life, 74 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:28,720 Speaker 2: I can only imagine what's going on. 75 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,600 Speaker 3: That's good. Yeah, life is good. 76 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:33,840 Speaker 5: It's it's changed a lot since our last conversation. So 77 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 5: everything is going because, well. 78 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:38,280 Speaker 2: Okay, how's it changed? Because you seem like you're on 79 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:39,240 Speaker 2: the uptick. 80 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:40,080 Speaker 1: Just in a lot of ways. 81 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:43,040 Speaker 5: I think, like last time we talked, Like obviously there 82 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:45,760 Speaker 5: are a lot of emotions. What's good about emotions is 83 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:48,360 Speaker 5: you get those things out, you name it to drain it, 84 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:52,040 Speaker 5: and you go through the grieving process. I've gone through 85 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:55,760 Speaker 5: that process. I have full acceptance and so that feels good. 86 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:56,920 Speaker 5: I feel lighter every day. 87 00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:57,840 Speaker 1: You know. 88 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:01,720 Speaker 4: For me, I was watching from the outside, so I 89 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:04,800 Speaker 4: got to see the headlines and listen to the episode. 90 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:07,680 Speaker 4: The two of you are great at that, Like I 91 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:09,440 Speaker 4: had no doubt that the two of you would dive 92 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:14,040 Speaker 4: in authentically and really pull out the emotions. And I 93 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:16,880 Speaker 4: think it's good for people to hear because it does 94 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:20,000 Speaker 4: like the reactions are very positive, Like it keeps people 95 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:24,440 Speaker 4: update updated with where you're at in life, Jason, but 96 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:27,280 Speaker 4: we're here now, Like, I guess the question I have 97 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,640 Speaker 4: for you is, like, what are you looking forward to 98 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,440 Speaker 4: now in the future, Like this is a whole new 99 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:34,719 Speaker 4: start for you. If they listen to the podcast on 100 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:39,159 Speaker 4: the most dramatic podcast ever and they kind of got 101 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:42,120 Speaker 4: a baseline of where you're at in life. Now we're 102 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:46,640 Speaker 4: here in Carmel a few months later, a month later, Like, 103 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:47,480 Speaker 4: what's next for you? 104 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:49,560 Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, if you're gonna, if you're gonna give 105 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:53,400 Speaker 5: me that platform with these two giant podcast hosts, I 106 00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:56,040 Speaker 5: gotta take the platform to do a little plug. I 107 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:58,120 Speaker 5: have a new book coming out right talk money to me, 108 00:04:58,279 --> 00:05:02,200 Speaker 5: So I'm very focused on that book. I'm also very 109 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:05,120 Speaker 5: transparent with things like that. If I sell one book, 110 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:08,040 Speaker 5: or I sell I don't know, probably fifty thousand books, 111 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,279 Speaker 5: it's not gonna put another penny in my pocket. I'm 112 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:13,279 Speaker 5: just very passionate about the subject matter of we have 113 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:15,800 Speaker 5: to learn finances, and then when we learn finances, we 114 00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:19,000 Speaker 5: have to learn how to protect them with ourselves, grow 115 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:20,680 Speaker 5: them with ourselves, and then grow as a unit with 116 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:22,560 Speaker 5: someone else. So the new book comes out in April. 117 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:26,440 Speaker 5: I'm excited for that. Future I'm excited for. I have 118 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:29,400 Speaker 5: an agency that's that's really really doing well. We doubled 119 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:32,719 Speaker 5: our revenue last year. We're probably gonna hit close to 120 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:37,000 Speaker 5: eight figures this year, which is exciting. And I don't know, 121 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:40,120 Speaker 5: I think aside from just business, it's more of this. 122 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:44,680 Speaker 3: I'm in this weird phase of life where I've thought 123 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 3: about it. 124 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:48,479 Speaker 5: I really haven't been single, like straight up single, single 125 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:51,200 Speaker 5: since like twenty seventeen. Okay, so let me just explain 126 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:54,040 Speaker 5: that briefly. They start casting for The Bachelor in early 127 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:57,440 Speaker 5: twenty eighteen, like early late twenty seventeen. You go on 128 00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:00,320 Speaker 5: the show, got off the show, then the show shows 129 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,480 Speaker 5: airing was in the top three, so they have to like, 130 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,880 Speaker 5: you know, they kind of give you the guidance, like 131 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:07,040 Speaker 5: watch what you're doing. So I was careful, so there 132 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:09,200 Speaker 5: was probably like a two to three month window. I 133 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:12,359 Speaker 5: was single in twenty eighteen, and then ex and I 134 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,279 Speaker 5: are together, we break up. It's really been since twenty 135 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:19,040 Speaker 5: seventeen I've been single, and then ten years through my twenties, 136 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:21,400 Speaker 5: I was like corporate soldier, tell me where to go, 137 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,520 Speaker 5: how to go. So this is the first time in 138 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:26,839 Speaker 5: my life that I have like financial freedom. I'm single, 139 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:29,960 Speaker 5: and I could just do what I want to do, 140 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:32,000 Speaker 5: how I want, when I want. So this is the 141 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:34,200 Speaker 5: year for me. Like aside from all that work stuff 142 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,880 Speaker 5: that I put out there, I'm just like, I don't 143 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:38,360 Speaker 5: know if I could swear in this podcast, but I'm 144 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:38,680 Speaker 5: just like. 145 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:43,320 Speaker 2: For get, like just let loosen enjoy dangeriously awesome combination. 146 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:46,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, it is because you said things. 147 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:49,360 Speaker 2: Have changed since our podcast the last time we unite chatted, 148 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:51,680 Speaker 2: and that was you were still. I would I would say, 149 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,640 Speaker 2: if we could name it, you were in the morning phase, 150 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:57,359 Speaker 2: You're still. I was figuring things out in the morning. 151 00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:00,360 Speaker 5: I was screaming through different like through through like baring 152 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:01,480 Speaker 5: and trying to figure out. 153 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:06,320 Speaker 2: Yea, name it and label it and figure out where 154 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:09,520 Speaker 2: it goes. Of course, yeah, now if we're going to 155 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,320 Speaker 2: label this chapter, where are we? 156 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:18,320 Speaker 5: It's acceptance and pure, purest form of clarity and uh 157 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:22,000 Speaker 5: and it just excited, like excited for what's next in 158 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,000 Speaker 5: my life. I don't I want to have family. I 159 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:27,520 Speaker 5: want to have kids. I recognize I'm thirty five, so 160 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:31,120 Speaker 5: I know that there's there's only so much time for 161 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,680 Speaker 5: this period of my life where I could just be 162 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:36,720 Speaker 5: the main priority and go. So I would name it 163 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:41,240 Speaker 5: as like clarity, go and stop overthinking, just like go, 164 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:41,800 Speaker 5: go do it. 165 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:46,480 Speaker 2: So you have the business, little financial freedom, you've dealt 166 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:50,680 Speaker 2: with all the issues, and my guess is you've you're 167 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,240 Speaker 2: also realizing, you know, you gotta mody theme of fame, 168 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,080 Speaker 2: right you have a little name recognition out there. So 169 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,000 Speaker 2: you're enjoying this chapter right now? 170 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:02,120 Speaker 5: It seems I don't, so when you phrase it like that, 171 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:06,800 Speaker 5: I don't the whole Like those things are great, but 172 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:10,320 Speaker 5: that's not why I'm enjoying it. Truly, I'm enjoying it 173 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:14,240 Speaker 5: because for so long I've been so bogged down of 174 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:18,040 Speaker 5: worrying about everyone else and taking care of everyone else, 175 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:21,760 Speaker 5: and and if you get into like therapy, it's the rescuer, 176 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:25,320 Speaker 5: which is like an unhealthy version of the coach. And 177 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:28,160 Speaker 5: I'm excited to just take care of me and so 178 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:31,200 Speaker 5: fame whatever, all that bullsh like, I don't care. It's 179 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:34,800 Speaker 5: just like I have so much light that I don't 180 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:38,120 Speaker 5: feel so much empathy for people I once loved, and 181 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:41,600 Speaker 5: I feel so much care for what I want. And 182 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 5: so that's truly what I'm most excited about, right, Like 183 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:46,800 Speaker 5: all that stuff is like bullshit. I think all the 184 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:48,760 Speaker 5: fame and all these things we get it helps. 185 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:50,800 Speaker 2: It helps on a business level. It helps with you, 186 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:52,320 Speaker 2: It helps with the podcast, it. 187 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,360 Speaker 5: Plays out in it, it plays in it. One hundred 188 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,640 Speaker 5: percent helps. You can't deny that all that stuff helps, 189 00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:00,320 Speaker 5: but it all that does to me is just give. 190 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:04,800 Speaker 5: It provides an ability to have financial freedom, and financial 191 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:07,280 Speaker 5: freedom that allows me to do what I want, ie 192 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:09,880 Speaker 5: coming out to Carmel for a couple of days to 193 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:13,440 Speaker 5: see people I love and have cared for since twenty eighteen. 194 00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:15,360 Speaker 5: I think it's cool in this world, Like how often 195 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:18,120 Speaker 5: do you meet people from an unscripted show and then 196 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:21,240 Speaker 5: six years later, whether we're on the mic or not, 197 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:24,520 Speaker 5: we're checking in Ben, We're calling each other, talking business, 198 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:27,480 Speaker 5: talking about the mastermind stuff, Chris, how's life, How's family? 199 00:09:27,559 --> 00:09:28,240 Speaker 1: How's married life? 200 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:28,400 Speaker 5: Like? 201 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:30,560 Speaker 1: To me, that is such a cool thing. 202 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:33,240 Speaker 5: So it's a mix of everything, I guess, But to me, 203 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:35,960 Speaker 5: it's the financial freedom I guess that it provides. And 204 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:37,920 Speaker 5: who knows when it ends right? Just you know it 205 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:39,120 Speaker 5: can all end tomorrow. 206 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:40,320 Speaker 3: Well, you're doing a lot. 207 00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:42,960 Speaker 4: I mean, Chris and I talked earlier, and we talked 208 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:45,679 Speaker 4: with Dean about the passions and what has been created 209 00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:49,600 Speaker 4: from the show, and you've done a lot, you know, 210 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:51,880 Speaker 4: you'd be a great example to many on what you 211 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:54,760 Speaker 4: can do with the opportunities provided. And then I also 212 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:57,600 Speaker 4: to believe if you never went on the show, you 213 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:00,960 Speaker 4: would have done great with or without it. But I 214 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:03,600 Speaker 4: think the big question for so many, and myself included, 215 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:04,880 Speaker 4: is what are you looking for? 216 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:06,360 Speaker 3: Like what is this next season? 217 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:08,360 Speaker 4: If you dreamed of what this next season would look 218 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:11,560 Speaker 4: like for you, like, what are the things in the 219 00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:15,320 Speaker 4: future that you would love to have like attached to 220 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:16,440 Speaker 4: the Jason name? 221 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,959 Speaker 5: So be a little more specific because I could, I 222 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:23,080 Speaker 5: could Relationship? What does what does family look like to you? 223 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:23,520 Speaker 3: What does this? 224 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:27,040 Speaker 4: I mean You've created some incredible businesses there, like you said, 225 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:31,480 Speaker 4: are hopefully going to create eight figures in twenty twenty four? Yeah, 226 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:35,280 Speaker 4: but like like when you look at the end of 227 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:37,960 Speaker 4: twenty twenty four, maybeah, we're in December. 228 00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:40,920 Speaker 3: Let's say, like, what do you hope is attached to 229 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:41,320 Speaker 3: your name? 230 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:46,600 Speaker 5: I think if I look at like personally, let's do 231 00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:48,360 Speaker 5: I think, like, let's look five, let's. 232 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:50,720 Speaker 3: Look like three to five years, right, three. 233 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:54,880 Speaker 5: To five years. I would love to be married with kids, 234 00:10:55,000 --> 00:11:01,320 Speaker 5: find my person and then professionally, I've learned that you 235 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:03,960 Speaker 5: can have all these aspirations and dreams, and I think 236 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:07,160 Speaker 5: everyone here we know curveballs come our way and you 237 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:11,160 Speaker 5: just expect the unexpected. So just try and be better 238 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:14,080 Speaker 5: than I was yesterday, Like learn from yesterday and try 239 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:16,760 Speaker 5: and be and grow as an individual within like the 240 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:20,360 Speaker 5: different tracks I'm kind of going right, So but for me, 241 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:23,600 Speaker 5: it's like continue to explore, to find myself, learn from 242 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:27,320 Speaker 5: the mistakes, and then I don't know, I want to 243 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:28,640 Speaker 5: find someone right, like. 244 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:29,720 Speaker 1: That is the goal. 245 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:32,640 Speaker 5: Like when I think about my personal life, like I 246 00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:35,079 Speaker 5: want a family and I want to have kids, and 247 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:38,240 Speaker 5: those are things I want and I have so much. 248 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:41,040 Speaker 5: It took me a long time in life to learn confidence, 249 00:11:41,559 --> 00:11:45,000 Speaker 5: long time poster syndrome, all these things. When it comes 250 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:49,240 Speaker 5: to professional world, I just I know I have confidence 251 00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:51,360 Speaker 5: that if I'm backed against the wall, I'm going to 252 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:54,040 Speaker 5: figure it out. I know I'm going to. So now 253 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:56,959 Speaker 5: I'm just so much more focused on do the things 254 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,040 Speaker 5: I know I can do and work, but like also 255 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:02,079 Speaker 5: just developing myself every day in a way I can 256 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,520 Speaker 5: just be a better person of myself if that makes sense. 257 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:08,160 Speaker 4: It does, and I don't want this to be a 258 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:11,200 Speaker 4: bash on Caitlin because you and I both know Caitlyn well. 259 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:18,880 Speaker 4: Chris knows Caitlyn well. We're friends with Caitlin. But relationships 260 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,880 Speaker 4: that don't work out teach you something. 261 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:22,480 Speaker 3: They do. 262 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:26,000 Speaker 4: Like with my relationship with Lauren, it taught me something. 263 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,920 Speaker 4: And you know now that I'm with Jess, she was 264 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:31,720 Speaker 4: the person I was looking for. What characteristics in the 265 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:33,400 Speaker 4: next partner are you kind of looking for? Because I 266 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:35,440 Speaker 4: know there's a lot of women out there that are 267 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:39,120 Speaker 4: probably like I would love to date adjacent partik, like 268 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:43,120 Speaker 4: he is a really attractive dude who has this stuff together. 269 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:46,080 Speaker 4: But like, as you've kind of gone through different seasons 270 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:48,720 Speaker 4: of life, what characteristics are you looking for your next partner? 271 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:57,960 Speaker 5: Number one, for sure is a unit in which the 272 00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:05,320 Speaker 5: support that's given is match in return. Number two, I 273 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:13,160 Speaker 5: would say, is uh, honesty and integrity. I think when 274 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:17,280 Speaker 5: you get caught in love clouds, it's easy to avoid a. 275 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:18,200 Speaker 1: Lot of those things. 276 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:22,720 Speaker 5: I think number three is we live in a world 277 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:28,040 Speaker 5: in which so much is working against relationships and so 278 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:31,120 Speaker 5: much as working against happiness, and I think the more 279 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:34,800 Speaker 5: happiness you have, the more envy there becomes. And when 280 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:39,120 Speaker 5: that envy enters, you need such a solid unit that 281 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:44,360 Speaker 5: your partner in the room with you and without you 282 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:46,120 Speaker 5: in the room is there for you and they have 283 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:46,679 Speaker 5: your back. 284 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:47,040 Speaker 1: Right. 285 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:49,920 Speaker 3: So those are three huge things. 286 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:52,640 Speaker 1: That I'll be looking for. 287 00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:56,600 Speaker 2: What were you blinded by with the love? What the 288 00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:57,960 Speaker 2: love cloud thing is interesting? 289 00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:01,800 Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean the love clouds in and I hate 290 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,400 Speaker 5: to bring it back to the book by do my 291 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:05,640 Speaker 5: background's business and finance and accounting. 292 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:08,040 Speaker 1: That's that's my heart. My grandpa told me. 293 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:12,080 Speaker 5: It's taught me at sixteen, and I think it's the 294 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:14,800 Speaker 5: perspective is even in the book, like I was so 295 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:19,160 Speaker 5: caught up in the love cloud, even fundamentals that I 296 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:22,840 Speaker 5: know and teach and preach every day, I didn't even 297 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:24,760 Speaker 5: look into I talk about it in the book. And 298 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:27,720 Speaker 5: so I think in general, anyone that's out there, if 299 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:29,320 Speaker 5: you've gotten caught in the love. 300 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:31,600 Speaker 3: Clouds, it's easy to lose sight. 301 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,480 Speaker 5: Of a lot of things, some of the things already 302 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:35,640 Speaker 5: mentioned and some of the things that you might know 303 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,760 Speaker 5: better than the back of your hand. And sometimes you 304 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:43,040 Speaker 5: have to take a beat to say just check in, right, 305 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:44,480 Speaker 5: like check in with yourself. 306 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:50,360 Speaker 2: Are you saying you lost yourself? In this relationship, you're good, 307 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:51,520 Speaker 2: I think. 308 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:55,240 Speaker 5: I think, yeah, I think that's I think that's a 309 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:58,320 Speaker 5: very fair assessment there that there were times in this 310 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:02,680 Speaker 5: relationship that I I had lost myself and as a 311 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:08,480 Speaker 5: result of that, you get caught. 312 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:10,120 Speaker 1: Up in like a cloud of. 313 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:16,000 Speaker 5: You're so into the love of it and the idea 314 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:20,760 Speaker 5: of it, you lose focus of kind of like your 315 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:27,720 Speaker 5: just overall compass direction and foundational focus for what is 316 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:31,400 Speaker 5: right and isn't right. And I think I could be wrong, 317 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:33,280 Speaker 5: but I do think there's a lot of people out 318 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:39,960 Speaker 5: there that when love enters, you start to be blinded 319 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:43,600 Speaker 5: by those things, right, because you're so infactuated with that 320 00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:48,160 Speaker 5: overwhelming feeling of bliss that you have been searching for, 321 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,880 Speaker 5: whether it's been a month, two months, a year, three years, 322 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:54,200 Speaker 5: whatever it might be. And that's a good learning lesson 323 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:54,440 Speaker 5: for me. 324 00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:10,600 Speaker 4: Chris and I were talking about earlier, and you and 325 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,400 Speaker 4: I actually were talking about the airport and you asked 326 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,880 Speaker 4: me a question, like, two years in a marriage, what's 327 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:21,040 Speaker 4: life look like? You know, like what is it? Because 328 00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:23,360 Speaker 4: it's a good question, like I couldn't answer that before 329 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:26,360 Speaker 4: two years of marriage, I wouldn't know. And I said, 330 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:29,360 Speaker 4: you know, if I were to I'm speaking to church 331 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:32,920 Speaker 4: on Sunday, and I'm speaking to it like at some 332 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:36,560 Speaker 4: point a group that's single, and the one thing I 333 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:39,040 Speaker 4: want to make sure to implement into them is one 334 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:41,480 Speaker 4: singleness is fine, like be single as long as you 335 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:44,480 Speaker 4: need to be single. The second is when you get married, 336 00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:48,480 Speaker 4: Like when you're committing to somebody, there's a beauty and 337 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:50,080 Speaker 4: the fact that now in two years in this I 338 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:53,240 Speaker 4: can confidently tell you that there is a partner out 339 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:57,800 Speaker 4: there that will release like some type of stress in 340 00:16:57,880 --> 00:16:58,920 Speaker 4: your life, not all stress. 341 00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:02,320 Speaker 3: There's a whole new stres to marriage. But for me, 342 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:03,600 Speaker 3: like my life. 343 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:07,600 Speaker 4: Is freer now that I'm married, like my life like, yes, 344 00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:09,480 Speaker 4: there's a whole new burden that has been placed on 345 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:14,240 Speaker 4: myself as a husband. But overall I found an incredible partner, 346 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:17,960 Speaker 4: like an amazing woman who wants my life to be better, 347 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:20,280 Speaker 4: who wants her life to be better, and as a result, 348 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:22,480 Speaker 4: like she wants to support both those things. 349 00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:25,600 Speaker 3: And I didn't know that when I was in your position. 350 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,080 Speaker 4: I went through a breakup on this show, and at 351 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:31,119 Speaker 4: that point in time for me, I was in a 352 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:34,120 Speaker 4: spiral of like maybe life is never what I thought 353 00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:36,879 Speaker 4: it would be like, maybe marriage is not whatever a 354 00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:37,600 Speaker 4: picture it would be. 355 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:40,720 Speaker 3: Maybe it would be full of pain and like I. 356 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:42,680 Speaker 4: Would have to sacrifice a lot, but it's not that. 357 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:44,720 Speaker 4: Like for me, I don't have to sacrifice a lot 358 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,560 Speaker 4: for my marriage other than just trying to be a 359 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:49,600 Speaker 4: good husband to my wife. Yeah, and I think that's 360 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:52,719 Speaker 4: exciting for you, Like you're in a very similar position 361 00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:55,280 Speaker 4: at this point in time where you're coming out of 362 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:59,080 Speaker 4: this relationship and let's we don't need a bad mouth 363 00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:02,440 Speaker 4: or or like put hate on either one of you, 364 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:05,640 Speaker 4: but both of you hold a deep level of respect 365 00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:09,359 Speaker 4: in our hearts. But it wasn't right. So now you 366 00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:13,040 Speaker 4: enter it like out of that into this whole new season. 367 00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:15,200 Speaker 4: And I know Chris and I talked about earlier, we're 368 00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:18,239 Speaker 4: excited for you on what this new partnership looks like. 369 00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:19,800 Speaker 4: And that's why I ask you the question, like what 370 00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:22,880 Speaker 4: are you looking for now? And Chris, you know, went 371 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,520 Speaker 4: even better than than I could and say, like what 372 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:27,199 Speaker 4: does that like love cloud look like? 373 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:30,960 Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, I think I think. Yeah, I think you 374 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,399 Speaker 1: bring up a few good points. I think. 375 00:18:35,359 --> 00:18:38,240 Speaker 5: Even when you look at just you talking about like 376 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,919 Speaker 5: I know you said you don't want to bad mouth anyone, 377 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,560 Speaker 5: and I don't think anyone should be. I think even 378 00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:47,120 Speaker 5: when you look at why relationships didn't work, that's why 379 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:50,080 Speaker 5: I even hate even stepping into these conversations. To Chris 380 00:18:50,119 --> 00:18:53,040 Speaker 5: I mentioned on your podcast, it's always I always start 381 00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:56,080 Speaker 5: to I could feel it. I am already deregulated talking 382 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:58,879 Speaker 5: about it. Why am I deregulated talking about it? Do 383 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:02,000 Speaker 5: you regulate talking about it? Because I have a very 384 00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:04,680 Speaker 5: very long laundry list of why things didn't work out 385 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:09,119 Speaker 5: in this relationship, right and my ex also has a 386 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:13,400 Speaker 5: very long list, And there's no way those lists connect. 387 00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:17,080 Speaker 5: And my perspective is going to be a lot of 388 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:20,680 Speaker 5: hear saying and opinions, and her perspective is going to 389 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:23,480 Speaker 5: be a lot of hearsaying opinions. And when you enter 390 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:26,119 Speaker 5: into conversations like this with friends and mutual friends and 391 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:30,720 Speaker 5: a world that's so small, I want to treat it 392 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:34,200 Speaker 5: with the same respect I would expect my significant other. 393 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:37,160 Speaker 5: And while I don't think that's been the case at 394 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:41,600 Speaker 5: this point, I'm still gonna stand here and not really 395 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:42,840 Speaker 5: dive into those things. 396 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:47,600 Speaker 1: Right, So, there's. 397 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:50,320 Speaker 5: Reasons why it didn't work out, there's reasons why we 398 00:19:50,359 --> 00:19:53,840 Speaker 5: are where we are, And I think to your point, Ben, 399 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,920 Speaker 5: all you can do in these situations, the only thing 400 00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,960 Speaker 5: is look in the mirror and say where did I miss? 401 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:03,480 Speaker 5: Where can I be better? How do I grieve and 402 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:07,240 Speaker 5: get clarity? And for my next partner, I better show 403 00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:09,800 Speaker 5: up in a million better ways. And I didn't show 404 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:13,240 Speaker 5: up in my last relationship. And that's the journey I'm 405 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:13,880 Speaker 5: on right now. 406 00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:16,600 Speaker 2: Are you surprised the breakups had such a shelf life 407 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:21,440 Speaker 2: that it's you know, there's still headlines, there's still. 408 00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:27,280 Speaker 3: No why you. 409 00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:33,000 Speaker 5: When you start to read and see the same you 410 00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:35,600 Speaker 5: read the same book, and then you read it over, 411 00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:37,560 Speaker 5: you know how it plays out. When you watch the 412 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:39,600 Speaker 5: same movie and then you watch it again, you. 413 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:44,600 Speaker 1: See how it plays out. And there's been. 414 00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:51,280 Speaker 5: A lot of conversations about a lot of x's of 415 00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:56,240 Speaker 5: my ex that one year, two year, five year, six year, 416 00:20:56,359 --> 00:20:59,280 Speaker 5: seven year plus continue to hit headlines. 417 00:20:59,320 --> 00:20:59,720 Speaker 1: So I'm not. 418 00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:03,320 Speaker 4: Surprised, Chris says the question for you, though you've been 419 00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:06,359 Speaker 4: around the show, you've been around the relationships maybe for 420 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:06,879 Speaker 4: a while. 421 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,560 Speaker 3: Why do headlines play out? 422 00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:10,159 Speaker 2: You know? 423 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:12,200 Speaker 4: For mine, I felt like it was a shelf life, 424 00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:14,320 Speaker 4: like it was like a six month shelf life, whereas 425 00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:17,320 Speaker 4: like felt like the world was falling down around me 426 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:21,280 Speaker 4: and then it never like really existed again. 427 00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:23,239 Speaker 2: When you're I mean, and Jay and I talked about this. 428 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,080 Speaker 2: When you're you know, when you're in that tempest, it 429 00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:28,440 Speaker 2: feels all consuming, you know. And I've talked to people 430 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:30,480 Speaker 2: that are on the show when they're going through stuff, 431 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:32,119 Speaker 2: and I'm like, look, I know, it feels like the 432 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:34,760 Speaker 2: waves are crashing over your head and you you know, 433 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:37,439 Speaker 2: but if you took a look from you know, thirty 434 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:40,800 Speaker 2: fifty thousand feet, you'd realize this is such a minuscule 435 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:42,879 Speaker 2: part of your life and a minuscule part of the world. 436 00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:45,720 Speaker 2: But you know, we don't ever have that perspective when 437 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:48,440 Speaker 2: we're going through stuff. I mean, it's impossible, right because 438 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:52,520 Speaker 2: you're we're all self absorbed, we're self involved, and when 439 00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:55,200 Speaker 2: things are happening to us, it's magnificent, right, It's huge, 440 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:58,520 Speaker 2: no matter what it is. And so that's only human nature. 441 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,720 Speaker 2: But what's interesting is, right, these things usually have a 442 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:08,520 Speaker 2: shelf life. If they continue to exist and prolong and 443 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:13,359 Speaker 2: seem to be exacerbated, it's there's usually a reason why. 444 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:15,760 Speaker 2: And it's interesting. It's like, you know, and usually it's 445 00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:18,920 Speaker 2: because someone wants it to write. It's someone is propelling 446 00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:21,359 Speaker 2: it to make that happen. And I've just noticed, like 447 00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:24,600 Speaker 2: the headlines continue. 448 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:25,640 Speaker 1: And what headlines continue? Though? 449 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:29,240 Speaker 3: Why to? 450 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,320 Speaker 5: But like I think that the idea behind the headlines 451 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:38,679 Speaker 5: are things A lot has to happen, right, and a 452 00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:40,679 Speaker 5: lot has happened, you know a lot. 453 00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:42,720 Speaker 2: Has happened well, And look click in our day and 454 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:45,280 Speaker 2: age to clickbait is a wonderful thing. As Ben looks 455 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:49,479 Speaker 2: up the headline, you know it is. It's interesting when 456 00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:53,640 Speaker 2: you live in a world where we want one answer. 457 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,680 Speaker 2: Like you said, Caitlin has a laundry list of reasons 458 00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,360 Speaker 2: why this relationship didn't work. You have a laundry list 459 00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:03,040 Speaker 2: of reasons why this didn't work. But for the and 460 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:05,000 Speaker 2: when you're in a room like this with a bunch 461 00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,720 Speaker 2: of friendlies and people that love you, and we're talking 462 00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:10,280 Speaker 2: and we know the layers of this thing and there 463 00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:13,840 Speaker 2: are many layers to it, there always are. But when 464 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:17,240 Speaker 2: you get removed from it and it's just the listener 465 00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:21,560 Speaker 2: and they're just looking for that one reason, right, we 466 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:24,240 Speaker 2: all we all want that one reason. Why give me 467 00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:27,320 Speaker 2: the magic bullet. There's never a magic bullet. There is 468 00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:32,400 Speaker 2: never a magic bullet when there's a breakup. There's always multiple, 469 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:34,879 Speaker 2: multiple layers to how it got to that point. But 470 00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:38,080 Speaker 2: in this day and age of the clickbait and the headline, 471 00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:40,040 Speaker 2: we all want that, right, we all want that one 472 00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:44,600 Speaker 2: reason of why did Caitlin or why did Jason? You know, 473 00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:48,320 Speaker 2: like this will this will solve everything, and it's that's 474 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:51,080 Speaker 2: that's never the case, but the headlines will keep going 475 00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:55,800 Speaker 2: because obviously it's getting the only reason. There's good feedback. 476 00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:57,479 Speaker 2: People are listening and people are watching. 477 00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:58,680 Speaker 3: Well, I think you're right. 478 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:02,840 Speaker 4: I mean there's investment, and I think that maybe means 479 00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:06,320 Speaker 4: people are invested in the relationship or people are invested 480 00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:07,160 Speaker 4: into the breakup. 481 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:08,880 Speaker 3: I don't know if we can that's good. 482 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,120 Speaker 2: I mean it's a good debate if like I mean, 483 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:14,320 Speaker 2: clearly people are interested in Caitlin. Clearly people are interested 484 00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:17,159 Speaker 2: in you. I mean it goes to your you know, 485 00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,560 Speaker 2: the q Q rating, right, I mean obviously you were 486 00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:21,560 Speaker 2: in the zeitgeist and people were interested in what's going 487 00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:25,080 Speaker 2: on with Jason and what's going on with Caitlin, and 488 00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:27,840 Speaker 2: so like this, you know, it only prolongs if people 489 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:28,440 Speaker 2: are interested. 490 00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:32,600 Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean my take on it prolonging is just like, 491 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:34,600 Speaker 5: I don't. I'm not the kind of guy that's going 492 00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:39,640 Speaker 5: to step into stuff unless I have to protest for myself. 493 00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:41,800 Speaker 1: Right, and I don't. And there's you know, there's been 494 00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:42,760 Speaker 1: a lot of. 495 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:47,440 Speaker 5: Interesting things, right, but I'm not going to step into 496 00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:52,280 Speaker 5: anything unless I really unless it's truly directed. And there's 497 00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:55,920 Speaker 5: been a lot of like it seems like passive aggressive 498 00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:59,000 Speaker 5: little digs here and there interpretations. 499 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:02,200 Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean it's just it is what it is. 500 00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:09,720 Speaker 5: And yeah, it's an interesting like dichotomy of analyzing all that, right. 501 00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:11,679 Speaker 2: I Mean, the funny thing is the three of us 502 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:15,919 Speaker 2: sitting here have all been in the same spot to 503 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:19,119 Speaker 2: a certain degree. We've all been a part of the headlines. 504 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:22,520 Speaker 2: We've all been on the good end of them and 505 00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:25,320 Speaker 2: the really shitty end of them. Yeah, and you know, 506 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:28,760 Speaker 2: they they're both through the extremes. And when you're on 507 00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:31,200 Speaker 2: the bad end, and when things keep going, it's like, Okay, 508 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:34,240 Speaker 2: you think it's over, and then there's another Yeah, there's 509 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:34,760 Speaker 2: another one. 510 00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:36,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's it's tough. 511 00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:38,760 Speaker 2: I mean, I know, you know Ben with Lauren when 512 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,000 Speaker 2: he was going through it, I dealt with him and 513 00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:43,240 Speaker 2: with you and then you guys both dealt with it 514 00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:46,119 Speaker 2: with my Yeah, it's a lot. 515 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:49,399 Speaker 5: It's a lot. I think in defense to both sides 516 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,960 Speaker 5: or any sides, or your side or anyone sides and 517 00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:55,000 Speaker 5: your break upside. Whatever headlines right, the idea like just 518 00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:57,760 Speaker 5: the business of it. You create a headline so people click. 519 00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:00,440 Speaker 5: The only thing these magazines are looking at it how 520 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:03,600 Speaker 5: many people click through? If people keep clicking through, they 521 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:06,359 Speaker 5: will continue to create those headlines. And those headlines are 522 00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:08,480 Speaker 5: always going to be taken out of context. 523 00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:09,080 Speaker 1: To get you to click through. 524 00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:11,480 Speaker 5: What I would say to anybody that is reading a 525 00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:14,439 Speaker 5: headline is like, actually read the full article. Then make 526 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:15,280 Speaker 5: your interpretation. 527 00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:21,000 Speaker 2: Just go for paragraphs, just go for yeah, just read that. 528 00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:22,919 Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, here's the headline here, this is what 529 00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:26,680 Speaker 4: I was talking about. So it was published day, says 530 00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:29,800 Speaker 4: Jason Tartick. Would have told himself to wake the hell 531 00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:34,760 Speaker 4: up before moving in with ex Caitlin Bristow. So I 532 00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,480 Speaker 4: haven't done this yet, But if I scrolled down to. 533 00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:39,960 Speaker 3: The bottom, which is a freaking long article, man. 534 00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:44,720 Speaker 5: I could, I could, says, I can interrupt you and 535 00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:46,840 Speaker 5: it will finish it, finish it, though, I could, I could. 536 00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:52,480 Speaker 4: Tell the final paragraph says, Now this changed throughout the 537 00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:58,240 Speaker 4: years of our relationship. But the point but to point 538 00:26:58,359 --> 00:27:02,720 Speaker 4: you a picture of how uninformed we were. Here is 539 00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:05,359 Speaker 4: a detailed list of all the numbers we didn't know 540 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:08,720 Speaker 4: before moving in together, right, and it goes through credit score, 541 00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:10,040 Speaker 4: total incomes. 542 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:11,400 Speaker 2: Total Trading Secrets podcast. 543 00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:13,080 Speaker 3: So well, I'll bring like, let's talk. 544 00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:15,000 Speaker 5: That's why I love the podcast I've run because we 545 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:16,840 Speaker 5: give behind the scenes of stuff like this. 546 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:20,320 Speaker 1: So behind the scenes. I have a book coming out. Again. 547 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:22,560 Speaker 5: If I sell one book or ten thousand, I'm not 548 00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:24,200 Speaker 5: going to make any more books in April. 549 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:25,359 Speaker 1: The book drops in April. 550 00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:27,960 Speaker 5: But the point is is that we had to with 551 00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:31,720 Speaker 5: a big publisher, we have to get an exclusives. 552 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:33,280 Speaker 1: That's what you have to do. So who do we 553 00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:35,080 Speaker 1: get an exclusive with? We get it with people. 554 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:38,040 Speaker 5: What does people do? They give a book exclusive. It 555 00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:40,640 Speaker 5: gives credibility. So then what you do is you hand 556 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:43,280 Speaker 5: them the manuscript. So you give them the manuscript and 557 00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:45,880 Speaker 5: then you don't have control over what they write. Now, 558 00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:49,160 Speaker 5: the whole entire point of that that headline is such 559 00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:55,119 Speaker 5: fucking bullshit because it provides zero context to the conversation. 560 00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:58,760 Speaker 5: The first two chapters is to show relatability that no 561 00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:01,280 Speaker 5: matter who's out there, even a guy like not trying 562 00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:02,840 Speaker 5: to put myself, but even guy who's got an MBA 563 00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:04,960 Speaker 5: in accounting and finance and has lent hundreds of millions 564 00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:08,879 Speaker 5: of dollars in underwrote bank loans, he's still through a 565 00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:11,920 Speaker 5: relationship and love got lost in some of the things 566 00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:14,240 Speaker 5: that matter when you look at something as a unit. 567 00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:16,119 Speaker 5: And it was all in the first two chapters of 568 00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:17,760 Speaker 5: me saying this is where. 569 00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:18,359 Speaker 1: I screwed up. 570 00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:21,520 Speaker 5: I want to show you my cards because I'm writing 571 00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:24,040 Speaker 5: this book based on where I screwed up. Here are 572 00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:28,640 Speaker 5: things you could do better. Yeah, So then they take 573 00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:29,800 Speaker 5: a line that's going to get. 574 00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:31,640 Speaker 1: People to click through. So that's a headline there. 575 00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:35,520 Speaker 5: But the psychology of like why this, Like I mean, 576 00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:38,640 Speaker 5: why are we still talking about the breakup? I mean, 577 00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:40,280 Speaker 5: I think a lot of people can interpret that a 578 00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:44,440 Speaker 5: lot of ways. But it's an interesting discussion. Yeah, that's 579 00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:44,800 Speaker 5: a lot. 580 00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:50,000 Speaker 4: So it's a twist in a sense promoting your book 581 00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:53,840 Speaker 4: which goes through all those things. Yeah, but it is 582 00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:57,320 Speaker 4: a twist a little bit on like the overall message 583 00:28:57,400 --> 00:28:59,840 Speaker 4: of hey, before you entern in a relationship or before 584 00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:04,080 Speaker 4: you take these big decisions in life, think about XYZ 585 00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:06,160 Speaker 4: correct And they say. 586 00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:09,240 Speaker 3: The headline is like wake the hell up. 587 00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:12,719 Speaker 4: Exactly, But for you, it's like just in general, whoever 588 00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:15,840 Speaker 4: you're at, whoever you are, wherever you're at in life, 589 00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:19,160 Speaker 4: think about these things before you enter into these big commitments. 590 00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:19,440 Speaker 1: Yeah. 591 00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:21,320 Speaker 5: It was more of like if I'm asking you Ben 592 00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:24,040 Speaker 5: for advice and you're saying to me, Jason, you know, 593 00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:25,960 Speaker 5: I screwed this up here and there, and I said 594 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:28,520 Speaker 5: to myself, Ben, wake the hell up, Like, think about this. 595 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,880 Speaker 5: That was the idea when writing this portion of the book, 596 00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:34,240 Speaker 5: like wake up, Jason, like, think about this stuff. And 597 00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:36,840 Speaker 5: the idea is to connect to a reader like I'm 598 00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:39,320 Speaker 5: sure we all, every person in this room has made 599 00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:43,640 Speaker 5: mistakes within their relationship and finances. So that was like 600 00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:48,960 Speaker 5: the the idea with it. But that's one headline. There's 601 00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:52,920 Speaker 5: many others, but I don't think that headline's probably a 602 00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:54,600 Speaker 5: depiction of the others. 603 00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:55,240 Speaker 2: Then there will be. 604 00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:58,720 Speaker 3: Hit movies, yeah, and I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure. 605 00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:01,240 Speaker 1: So you know, that's what's interesting. 606 00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:03,360 Speaker 5: And I've read a lot of those lately and I think, 607 00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:06,320 Speaker 5: what's you know, the one thing about headlines and the 608 00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:10,000 Speaker 5: one thing about relationships and breakups and perspectives and however 609 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:12,960 Speaker 5: anyone wants to talk is in twenty twenty four. It's 610 00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:17,280 Speaker 5: really tough to rewrite history with words. So you know, 611 00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:19,760 Speaker 5: you can say what you want and you can put 612 00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:23,000 Speaker 5: things out there, and you can have different captions and 613 00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:27,160 Speaker 5: you know, different things out there. But when there's enough 614 00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:31,040 Speaker 5: public record or things, you really can't rewrite history as 615 00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:33,520 Speaker 5: much as you want to. No matter what types of 616 00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:37,400 Speaker 5: form of kind of deception someone may or may not 617 00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:40,520 Speaker 5: try to display, you just can't rewrite history. 618 00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:51,080 Speaker 3: All right. 619 00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:53,600 Speaker 4: Well, to close this, Jason, you do have a book 620 00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:59,080 Speaker 4: coming out, as we've mentioned, why should somebody out there 621 00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:01,560 Speaker 4: who's listening want to read your book? 622 00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:02,600 Speaker 1: Talk money to me? 623 00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:03,640 Speaker 3: Talk money to me. 624 00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:06,600 Speaker 5: So, if you don't know how to invest, it all like, 625 00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:08,000 Speaker 5: if you just step by step of how. 626 00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:09,000 Speaker 1: To invest, that's one. 627 00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:10,480 Speaker 5: If you don't know how to budget, gives you a 628 00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:12,440 Speaker 5: step by step of how to budget. If you don't 629 00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:14,560 Speaker 5: know how to pay down your debt or understand your debt, 630 00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:16,440 Speaker 5: gives you a step by step of how to do that. 631 00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:19,480 Speaker 5: If you don't know how to think about the idea 632 00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:22,280 Speaker 5: of working with banks to get your first mortgage, or 633 00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:25,640 Speaker 5: maybe use equity lines to increase your wealth, like the 634 00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:29,720 Speaker 5: basic idea of using lending to get approved and to 635 00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:32,560 Speaker 5: then build your worth. This book will help you do it. 636 00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:35,840 Speaker 5: And then in the book every line or every word 637 00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:38,840 Speaker 5: that is said that might be confusing in the business space, 638 00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:42,160 Speaker 5: there's a full glossary and that's just the business aspect. 639 00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:44,320 Speaker 5: If you're then thinking about, like how do I talk 640 00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:46,640 Speaker 5: money to myself because I don't have a great relationship 641 00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:48,560 Speaker 5: with money, this book will teach you to do it. 642 00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:51,800 Speaker 5: And if you're working with another partner to like build in, 643 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:56,080 Speaker 5: move in together and build a long lasting relationship of 644 00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:58,320 Speaker 5: wealth is won, this book will teach you how to 645 00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:01,200 Speaker 5: do it. So it's an intersection of love and money. 646 00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:03,720 Speaker 5: There's so many books about how to master love. There's 647 00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:06,040 Speaker 5: so many books how to master money. And love and 648 00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:08,440 Speaker 5: money are a huge part of like everyone's life and 649 00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:11,280 Speaker 5: how we exist is one. So that's the kind of 650 00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:13,560 Speaker 5: the premise about the book. And then the other thing 651 00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:15,640 Speaker 5: too is unfortunately in this world, like you look at 652 00:32:15,680 --> 00:32:17,640 Speaker 5: true crime and all the things we do, we learn 653 00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:21,160 Speaker 5: through hardships. There's a lot of really crazy stories out 654 00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:23,080 Speaker 5: there of people who learned in. 655 00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:25,160 Speaker 3: Really really really hard. 656 00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:28,960 Speaker 5: Ways like getting married, getting a mortgage, and instantly the 657 00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:31,960 Speaker 5: next day IRS Boom has a taxling on their whole 658 00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:34,880 Speaker 5: house because they didn't recognize their husband they just married 659 00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:37,800 Speaker 5: has a huge IRS taxling. There's a lot of stories 660 00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:39,480 Speaker 5: that we can learn through their experiences. 661 00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:40,880 Speaker 1: So that's a little bit about that. 662 00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:43,640 Speaker 2: So the number one reason, right, So the number one 663 00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:47,640 Speaker 2: reason people get divorce, breakup whatever money have these have 664 00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:50,360 Speaker 2: these discussions. You and I talked about this so and 665 00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:53,400 Speaker 2: look someday you'll end up in a room with Ben 666 00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:59,960 Speaker 2: and I and slack slash joggers boots with no socks 667 00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:01,080 Speaker 2: and shirt that's a jacket. 668 00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:01,680 Speaker 1: That's right. 669 00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:02,800 Speaker 2: Look at how far you've come. 670 00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:04,120 Speaker 3: Look how far you've come. 671 00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:08,800 Speaker 2: Here we are, Jason, seriously, man, I appreciate you sitting 672 00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:11,160 Speaker 2: down again and sitting down with Ben and I and uh, 673 00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:13,840 Speaker 2: I'm glad we're all here. It's ah we said it 674 00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:16,600 Speaker 2: with Dean and uh, you know, Bob Getty's coming in 675 00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:20,240 Speaker 2: and a bunch of friends are here, and it's always 676 00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:23,560 Speaker 2: good to get everybody together. Check out the book Talk 677 00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:26,640 Speaker 2: Money to Me drops in April. Trading Secrets. The podcast, 678 00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:30,200 Speaker 2: which I've listened to many many times over is brilliant 679 00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:34,440 Speaker 2: stuff on the economic side of life. So many just 680 00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:36,760 Speaker 2: simple things we should all be doing. 681 00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:37,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, appreciate it. 682 00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:39,480 Speaker 5: Thank you guys for having me. Well let me ask 683 00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:41,880 Speaker 5: you too, now, Well I got you. As you're wrapping up, 684 00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:44,920 Speaker 5: you can ask me anything. Two married men here, you've 685 00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:48,680 Speaker 5: had a lot of success. One piece of advice for me. 686 00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:49,800 Speaker 1: What do you got? 687 00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:52,920 Speaker 3: Give me feedback, Tell me what I could do better, 688 00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:54,720 Speaker 3: Tell me what I needed to do more of or 689 00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:55,200 Speaker 3: less of. 690 00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:58,160 Speaker 5: Let's end with the two guys who have done it successfully, 691 00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:00,320 Speaker 5: teaching the guy who hasn't done it right. 692 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:01,720 Speaker 3: I'll start here. 693 00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:07,880 Speaker 4: Yes, my honest opinion is this take some time, and 694 00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:10,239 Speaker 4: I mean this in the bottom of my heart, takes 695 00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:14,399 Speaker 4: some time to decipher through all this bs right now 696 00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:22,000 Speaker 4: and figure out what you want. I journaled, which was 697 00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,040 Speaker 4: a huge gift to me because I knew what I 698 00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:26,880 Speaker 4: was looking for before this whole experience and then after. 699 00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:31,040 Speaker 4: But figure out what right now you feel like you're 700 00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:37,279 Speaker 4: missing and be okay admitting it and figuring out like 701 00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:40,840 Speaker 4: there's a person out there for you who fills those 702 00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:44,480 Speaker 4: gaps you know. For me, this world was spinning faster 703 00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:48,080 Speaker 4: than I could consume, and a lot of my friends 704 00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:49,840 Speaker 4: and family were telling me, hey, you're never going to 705 00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:54,520 Speaker 4: be that guy that can stay relevant, that can stay influential, 706 00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:55,760 Speaker 4: that can stay in the spotlight. 707 00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:56,640 Speaker 3: You're not that guy. 708 00:34:57,280 --> 00:34:59,200 Speaker 4: And I want to fight that, like, no, I can 709 00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:01,920 Speaker 4: be that guy, and they're like, you're not going to 710 00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:05,279 Speaker 4: be that guy. It's not who you are, Ben, And 711 00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:08,440 Speaker 4: finally I had realized I wasn't that guy, Like that 712 00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:10,920 Speaker 4: wasn't what made me happy. When me happy was a 713 00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:15,319 Speaker 4: life of somebody that would give me security, simplicity, con 714 00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:17,200 Speaker 4: tim and but also pushed me to be the man 715 00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:21,919 Speaker 4: I always dreamed of being. And when I finally realized that, hey, 716 00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:24,160 Speaker 4: maybe my life wouldn't be marrying somebody that was in 717 00:35:24,160 --> 00:35:27,960 Speaker 4: the spot i'd been marrying somebody who maybe made me 718 00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:31,200 Speaker 4: my better self, then everything made more sense. 719 00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:31,600 Speaker 3: And so. 720 00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:36,560 Speaker 4: You know, the success financially or whatever that looked like 721 00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:39,239 Speaker 4: like that just maybe comes or it's kind of up 722 00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:41,759 Speaker 4: to you. But when it comes to a partner, for me, 723 00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:46,840 Speaker 4: it was just like in a sense, like settling into 724 00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:50,080 Speaker 4: what I knew would be my best partner and not 725 00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:53,160 Speaker 4: looking for whatever can make the headlines just and I 726 00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:55,040 Speaker 4: will make the headlines. Very often we go to bed 727 00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:57,680 Speaker 4: a fifteen. We watch a lot of Gardens of the 728 00:35:57,719 --> 00:36:02,440 Speaker 4: Galaxy or whatever's on TV. And when I lay in 729 00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:05,160 Speaker 4: bed at night, Jason and I look at her and 730 00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:08,600 Speaker 4: she lays her head on my chest. We have a 731 00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:13,680 Speaker 4: dog on my feet. I'll tear up saying it. There's 732 00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,560 Speaker 4: many a night's where I look at her and I 733 00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:20,439 Speaker 4: tell her like, this is my dream. And I never 734 00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:22,120 Speaker 4: maybe when I was on. 735 00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:24,440 Speaker 3: The show, I never believed it would be, but it is. 736 00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:29,200 Speaker 4: And so I just say take a second and step 737 00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:33,120 Speaker 4: away and just say, hey, outside of all this craziness, 738 00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:34,520 Speaker 4: what do I dream of? 739 00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:39,080 Speaker 3: But what did I dream of? And go back to that. 740 00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:41,240 Speaker 1: That's good advice. It's great advice. 741 00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:43,920 Speaker 2: You didn't think when we were eating pot Brownie's in 742 00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:46,440 Speaker 2: Jamaica you were going to have the dream? 743 00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:52,040 Speaker 3: Goodness gracious, and the thunderstorm came in. Remember that? Yeah, 744 00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:56,360 Speaker 3: goodness gracious. 745 00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:58,680 Speaker 2: Chris, No, it was Wilson. I mean, you and I 746 00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:01,200 Speaker 2: have talked business, but I I it's funny. The first 747 00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:03,880 Speaker 2: thing that struck me. And I wouldn't say it as 748 00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:07,480 Speaker 2: poetically as Ben just did, but same thing. I was like, 749 00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:10,160 Speaker 2: you know, if I'm giving advice to you, it's be 750 00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:11,880 Speaker 2: single embrace it. 751 00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:12,279 Speaker 1: Yeah. 752 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:15,640 Speaker 2: And I don't mean go play the field and you know, 753 00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:18,560 Speaker 2: be a slut. I just mean And if you, by 754 00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:20,239 Speaker 2: the way, if you want to knock yourself out, I 755 00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:24,359 Speaker 2: don't care. But it's it's takes some time, and that's all. 756 00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:26,800 Speaker 2: That's what That's what Ben was saying. And I agree, 757 00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:29,400 Speaker 2: take some time to get your sea legs about you. 758 00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:32,200 Speaker 2: And you know, you, whether you know it or not, 759 00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:35,440 Speaker 2: you got rocked. And you know, life's a little crazy 760 00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:37,359 Speaker 2: with the headlines and with all the crap going on, 761 00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:39,640 Speaker 2: and when we go through stuff like that, you just 762 00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:41,440 Speaker 2: need a minute, right, and you just need to give 763 00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:44,440 Speaker 2: yourself some grace, give yourself some time. And you're a 764 00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:46,680 Speaker 2: smart guy, and you have a lot of people around 765 00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:50,200 Speaker 2: you that love you to death. And like no one's 766 00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:52,279 Speaker 2: I mean by no means is anyone worried about you. 767 00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:56,760 Speaker 2: You're doing just fine. But and you know, the successive 768 00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:58,560 Speaker 2: business and all that stuff's going to come. But it's 769 00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:00,719 Speaker 2: just what I want for you, the same thing Ben 770 00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:02,920 Speaker 2: and all your friends want for you is to also 771 00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:04,080 Speaker 2: find somebody to share it with. 772 00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:05,840 Speaker 1: Yeah you will, yeah, and you will. 773 00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:06,680 Speaker 3: Yeah. 774 00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:09,000 Speaker 5: It's one of these things. It's like life prepares like 775 00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:10,920 Speaker 5: life only prepares you for so much. You gotta live, 776 00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:13,719 Speaker 5: you gotta learn. And then break ups no matter who 777 00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:16,879 Speaker 5: you are, are really tough. And then this whole other 778 00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,520 Speaker 5: aspect that we talked about today, right, like all this 779 00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:22,520 Speaker 5: other noise enters and the and the only world. 780 00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:23,720 Speaker 1: The word I can think. 781 00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:25,240 Speaker 3: Of is like paralysis. 782 00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:28,040 Speaker 5: Like I just like sometimes you sit back and you're like, 783 00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:31,359 Speaker 5: I'm paralyzed. Do you do you like fight for what's right? 784 00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:33,319 Speaker 5: Do you just shut the hell up? Do you just 785 00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:35,800 Speaker 5: go away and never come back? Do I just click 786 00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:39,640 Speaker 5: the switch off and just turn around? So it's good 787 00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:42,720 Speaker 5: to hear about this because no one, no one really prepared, 788 00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:45,320 Speaker 5: and you both have been through it. No one prepared. 789 00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:47,000 Speaker 5: There's no book to teach you how to deal with 790 00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:47,720 Speaker 5: all this stuff. 791 00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:48,799 Speaker 1: Like it's a lot. 792 00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:53,880 Speaker 2: It's truly like drinking water from a fire. It's you 793 00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:56,759 Speaker 2: are nowhere prepared for it. When you were kind of 794 00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:59,239 Speaker 2: shot out of this cannon and I went through it, 795 00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:00,959 Speaker 2: even when you know, I got divorced and I started 796 00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:04,920 Speaker 2: dating again, and it's like, oh my god, like it's 797 00:39:05,239 --> 00:39:07,400 Speaker 2: it was you enter a world you're like, you know 798 00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:09,600 Speaker 2: you have it's a whole different world than when you 799 00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:12,520 Speaker 2: were single before and when when you were on the show, 800 00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:17,319 Speaker 2: and so enjoy that and experiment and then make your 801 00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:21,480 Speaker 2: mistakes and fail and laugh about it. And then eventually 802 00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:24,040 Speaker 2: you're going to get to the point where you see 803 00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:25,719 Speaker 2: the ridiculousness and all of it and you're going to 804 00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:27,240 Speaker 2: settle in and you'll find somebody. 805 00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:28,320 Speaker 3: It'll be wonderful. 806 00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:31,640 Speaker 5: Exactly until then, enjoy it, yeah, I think, because the 807 00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:33,960 Speaker 5: thing is like in this space, you're damned if you do. 808 00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:35,040 Speaker 1: You're damned if you don't. 809 00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:38,000 Speaker 5: You jump on the mic with Chris and Ben instantly 810 00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:41,080 Speaker 5: I'll get for just even talking, right, or you'll get love. 811 00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:43,080 Speaker 5: You just don't know. And I think the biggest thing 812 00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:45,440 Speaker 5: I've learned, even through like my therapist, is like, stop, 813 00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:48,839 Speaker 5: when you experience things in life, when you walk into them, 814 00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:52,160 Speaker 5: think about your experience and less about how people are 815 00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:55,480 Speaker 5: experiencing you. We get so focused in this world how 816 00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:58,960 Speaker 5: everyone is experiencing and consuming us, as opposed to like, 817 00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:02,160 Speaker 5: what is my experience in this moment, the way I'm thinking, 818 00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:05,279 Speaker 5: the way I'm talking, and just continue to proceed, like 819 00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:07,920 Speaker 5: with character, in the way that you normally would. And 820 00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:10,160 Speaker 5: if you're worry about your experience, the wrestle fall in 821 00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:12,080 Speaker 5: the place. So so I'm trying to do. 822 00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:16,839 Speaker 4: Hey, man, Ben Higgins, bring us home, Jason, nobody's worried 823 00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:17,360 Speaker 4: about you. 824 00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:20,680 Speaker 3: You're gonna do a great man. Chris is right, you're doing. 825 00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:25,000 Speaker 4: You're a great dude who were just so thankful to 826 00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:28,200 Speaker 4: be out here with and thanks for sitting down with us, 827 00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:29,600 Speaker 4: Thanks for hanging out with us. 828 00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:31,560 Speaker 3: Thanks for teaching us the things that you got to 829 00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:32,040 Speaker 3: teach us. 830 00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:35,680 Speaker 4: When it comes to I mean, in five years, will 831 00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:37,840 Speaker 4: be hopefully sitting maybe not in this room, but in 832 00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:41,280 Speaker 4: a different room, maybe in this room, and you're gonna 833 00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:44,520 Speaker 4: be teaching us or teaching somebody new. Chris and I 834 00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:47,040 Speaker 4: will be retired at that point. I hope the. 835 00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:51,359 Speaker 3: Figures will be long dead. 836 00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:55,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, nobody can sit at my grave site. 837 00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:58,880 Speaker 4: But you're going to be teaching somebody new who comes 838 00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:01,560 Speaker 4: through this world or through a different world, the same 839 00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:04,120 Speaker 4: stuff we're talking about today. We're like, hey, I've been 840 00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:07,439 Speaker 4: in your shoes. Yeah yeah, and that's such a cool thing. 841 00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:10,399 Speaker 4: And we've seen it over and over again as we've 842 00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:14,320 Speaker 4: been here for eight plus years since the show, and Chris, 843 00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:18,920 Speaker 4: I don't know, fifty years. 844 00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:18,479 Speaker 2: For some red wine on the Grave. 845 00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:21,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, this has. 846 00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:25,680 Speaker 5: Been there a couple of tear drops. 847 00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:29,359 Speaker 4: We've been here with the Most Dramatic podcast ever and 848 00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:33,279 Speaker 4: almost this podcast, but Jason just thanks for hanging out 849 00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:34,440 Speaker 4: with us and this weekend. 850 00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:36,640 Speaker 1: You guys for having me guys. 851 00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:39,880 Speaker 3: Love you, Love you guys, always a pleasure. Follow the 852 00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:43,360 Speaker 3: Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast on iHeartRadio or 853 00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:45,680 Speaker 3: subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. 854 00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:48,319 Speaker 2: Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at the Most 855 00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:50,920 Speaker 2: Dramatic Pod Ever, and make sure to write us a 856 00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:53,600 Speaker 2: review and leave us five stars. I'll talk to you 857 00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:54,080 Speaker 2: next time.