1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,800
Speaker 1: My boyfriend and my sister were spending a lot of

2
00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:05,480
Speaker 1: time together. Then I walked in on them doing something

3
00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:07,240
Speaker 1: they said was an accident.

4
00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:11,119
Speaker 2: Was the accident tripping and dicking down someone else?

5
00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:14,480
Speaker 1: Have you never had the experience of, you know, you're

6
00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:17,360
Speaker 1: at the table right, boom, I'm cutting my food, my

7
00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:19,919
Speaker 1: fork drops on the ground, and wouldn't you know it,

8
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,200
Speaker 1: a random woman gets pregnant.

9
00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:24,799
Speaker 2: Dude, that happens to me every Thanksgiving. It's so crazy

10
00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:28,880
Speaker 2: because it's only family there. Bro, It's not a good situation. No,

11
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:32,400
Speaker 2: it's not. One would say it is the stickiest of situations.

12
00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:34,879
Speaker 2: And let me tell you, at least it tastes like

13
00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:39,360
Speaker 2: pineapple no cranberry sauce this Thanksgiving. Let's go all right.

14
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,720
Speaker 1: I twenty four female, have been dating my boyfriend, twenty

15
00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:44,920
Speaker 1: six male, for about five years now.

16
00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:45,479
Speaker 2: Nice.

17
00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:47,760
Speaker 1: We grew up together as neighbors and we're friends for

18
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:51,000
Speaker 1: a couple of years before dating. I love him so

19
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:53,240
Speaker 1: so much and I wanted to marry him.

20
00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:57,440
Speaker 2: Nice so great, It's all going to work out. I'm sure.

21
00:00:57,560 --> 00:00:59,520
Speaker 2: I'm sure this is going to end great.

22
00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:02,360
Speaker 1: But also Sam, his family is great too, and I

23
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,520
Speaker 1: adore all of them and he's really great with my

24
00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:05,440
Speaker 1: family as well.

25
00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:08,760
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, you know I reveal the tea please.

26
00:01:08,959 --> 00:01:12,679
Speaker 1: In fact, their families get along so well. Sam that

27
00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:16,560
Speaker 1: he has formed a great relationship with my sister, a

28
00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:17,640
Speaker 1: female twenty one.

29
00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:22,640
Speaker 2: Oh god, oh god, a great relationship. Oh no, they're

30
00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:25,000
Speaker 2: in the same book club. Oh okay, at least you

31
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,639
Speaker 2: know they're listening to what they're watching Harry Potter together, exactly.

32
00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:30,240
Speaker 2: They're they're reading Harry Potter the whole series exactly. You

33
00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:33,080
Speaker 2: know Dumbledore is gay. Yeah, he's taking it, given it.

34
00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:35,560
Speaker 2: Let's just say that. You know, he was pointing his

35
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:39,520
Speaker 2: wand bro externally and internal. His one wouldn't only stick.

36
00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:42,720
Speaker 2: He was wielded at the truth. As soon as Harry

37
00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:46,240
Speaker 2: turned eighteen. You know, he was slobbing on that. He's

38
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:51,040
Speaker 2: got the dumbledog. Oh man, that's my that's my one.

39
00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:54,520
Speaker 2: That's my one for the week. Guys, dumbled down, give

40
00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:56,360
Speaker 2: me that dumbled dick baby.

41
00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,640
Speaker 1: Okay, well, back back to back to Opie's boyfriend double Dong.

42
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:04,960
Speaker 1: The issue is I think their bond is a little

43
00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:08,240
Speaker 1: too close, if you get what I'm saying. My boyfriend

44
00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:10,120
Speaker 1: and I live together, but he spends a lot of

45
00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:13,000
Speaker 1: time with her. Albeit I'm sort of busy. I'm currently

46
00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:14,960
Speaker 1: in grad school for engineering, so I have to go

47
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,600
Speaker 1: to my classes. My boyfriend works full time, and my

48
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:20,880
Speaker 1: sister is currently taking a gap year. But the thing

49
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:24,679
Speaker 1: is that one gap year has been since she was eighteen.

50
00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:25,800
Speaker 1: She is now twenty one.

51
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:28,120
Speaker 2: She didn't go to college, so she's having an extended

52
00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:32,200
Speaker 2: gap year. She's trying to find herself. Man, bros. She's lost.

53
00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:36,359
Speaker 1: She's opening the map of life and going for it.

54
00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:40,040
Speaker 2: That she is. You know, white girls in gap years

55
00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:43,359
Speaker 2: go hand in hand. Throw a few crystals in there,

56
00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:47,160
Speaker 2: take a few yoga classes, mixed up, horl. You have

57
00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:51,600
Speaker 2: a spiritual awakening. You're ready to take life for the balls,

58
00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:55,919
Speaker 2: buy the balls and do absolutely nothing. Maybe maybe be

59
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:56,799
Speaker 2: a life coach or something.

60
00:02:56,880 --> 00:03:01,360
Speaker 1: There we go, Yes, being Instagram, Oh yeah, influencer, be

61
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,160
Speaker 1: a TikTok content creator.

62
00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:07,560
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, dude, Like I know, I sit in the

63
00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:10,919
Speaker 2: room and fucking take cord shit, Like, get a real

64
00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:13,600
Speaker 2: job and I won't I refuse mom.

65
00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:16,840
Speaker 1: So the thing is they have tons of inside jokes

66
00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:19,600
Speaker 1: and share the same sense of humor and taste in movies.

67
00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:22,560
Speaker 2: It sounds like they are perfect for you to like,

68
00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:24,639
Speaker 2: I love is love. See.

69
00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:27,160
Speaker 1: The thing is the problem, Sam, It makes me feel

70
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:27,679
Speaker 1: left out.

71
00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:30,720
Speaker 2: There's only one way to make sure that you feel

72
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:34,520
Speaker 2: completely solid in this relation show. You've heard of the

73
00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:38,800
Speaker 2: phrase sister wives, right, we're taking it literal, folks. Oh, yes,

74
00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:41,560
Speaker 2: we are. You know if you give me a book

75
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:44,080
Speaker 2: and call me a Mormon, because I'm about to get

76
00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:46,840
Speaker 2: polygamous in this pitch. And that's and that's the only problem.

77
00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:48,760
Speaker 2: She feels left out as part of the gang. It's

78
00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,320
Speaker 2: the only issue. I'm sure that's the only issue, John.

79
00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:53,920
Speaker 1: Because when I try to clude myself, they both stop

80
00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:57,000
Speaker 1: being enthusiastic and try to act like it's super awkward

81
00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:58,760
Speaker 1: having me there, Like, why is it so awkward?

82
00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:01,560
Speaker 2: Guys? Maybe it's just that you're awkward, Opie. You are

83
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:02,680
Speaker 2: on Reddit, so you.

84
00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:05,560
Speaker 1: See the cards are stacking up against you already.

85
00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:08,360
Speaker 2: And you are dishing all of your familial dirts to

86
00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,480
Speaker 2: strangers on the internet. Red Flag.

87
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,880
Speaker 1: My sister and I were really close growing up, but

88
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:15,240
Speaker 1: we started drifting when I went to university when my

89
00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,479
Speaker 1: boyfriend isn't there and I talked to her. She's become

90
00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:20,080
Speaker 1: kind of cold and sometimes says rude things to.

91
00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:23,719
Speaker 2: Me what she's saying, I'm fucking your boyfis. We're saying

92
00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:26,440
Speaker 2: the darned darnedest things over here.

93
00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:29,320
Speaker 1: One day she told me to my face that I'm

94
00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:33,120
Speaker 1: not good enough for him and he deserves better like me.

95
00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:36,599
Speaker 2: And this made me cry for a couple of days.

96
00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:40,120
Speaker 2: Get a grip, get you shit together, OPI gods.

97
00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:44,240
Speaker 1: He also gets her gifts for the most random achievements,

98
00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:47,279
Speaker 1: like he got her a present for making it through

99
00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:49,440
Speaker 1: the week, even though she doesn't do.

100
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,840
Speaker 2: Anything a gap, Yo, What does it take for her

101
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:52,640
Speaker 2: to get through the week.

102
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:56,120
Speaker 1: She isn't currently working or trying to pursue a hobby

103
00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:59,800
Speaker 1: or interest. She's just taking it easy. Her own words,

104
00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:01,520
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but.

105
00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:05,120
Speaker 2: Nah, it's hard just existing in this world. Man.

106
00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:08,080
Speaker 1: You know, like I wake up, bro, I gotta brush

107
00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:08,480
Speaker 1: my teeth.

108
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,760
Speaker 2: Can I tell you about this? I tell they tell me? Girl?

109
00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:14,520
Speaker 1: Do you understand I'm traumatizing all forty of my my molars?

110
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:15,600
Speaker 2: I think it's thirty two.

111
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,680
Speaker 1: These are numbers I'm pulling out of my asshole. I'm

112
00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:24,080
Speaker 1: traumatizing all sixty of my teeth, man, shark, I am

113
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,160
Speaker 1: traumatizing all of my teeth Every morning. You know how

114
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:29,000
Speaker 1: hard that is. Every day it sounds hard. It sounds

115
00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:31,080
Speaker 1: even at night too. Dude, twice a day.

116
00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:32,760
Speaker 2: I have a hard life. Let me tell you something.

117
00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:36,600
Speaker 2: This is essentially death. I am literally I have the

118
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,640
Speaker 2: worst of any human on planet Earth. Put me in

119
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:39,320
Speaker 2: the gallows.

120
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,800
Speaker 1: He tells her things he doesn't even tell me, and

121
00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:45,040
Speaker 1: he talks to her about our relationship. She knows all

122
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,919
Speaker 1: of our issues, the good parts, to a level of

123
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:50,880
Speaker 1: detail that I wouldn't even tell my close friends or parents.

124
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,480
Speaker 2: He's telling her too much. They have too many inside jokes.

125
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:57,799
Speaker 2: There's something going on. I keep hearing strange like yelling

126
00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:00,360
Speaker 2: from the bedroom when they're playing their bore game.

127
00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:03,080
Speaker 1: They told me that there's a ghost haunting her room

128
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:04,680
Speaker 1: every every like Friday night.

129
00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:06,960
Speaker 2: It's really weird. You're like that really scares me, you know,

130
00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:11,039
Speaker 2: terrified of having experiences with these ghosts that I'm not having.

131
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:14,240
Speaker 1: I have a phobia of paranormal activity, I know, and

132
00:06:14,279 --> 00:06:16,880
Speaker 1: it seems like the only activity that they ever participate

133
00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,080
Speaker 1: in is paranormal.

134
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,720
Speaker 2: Wow, man, this is this is rough.

135
00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:21,520
Speaker 1: She even knows the grades that I get in my

136
00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:24,359
Speaker 1: midterm and finals, and what I think about my manager.

137
00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:26,719
Speaker 1: I work part time to contribute to our apartment, but

138
00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:30,000
Speaker 1: I also get paid for research, which goes towards our.

139
00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:31,039
Speaker 2: Needs as well, and all of us.

140
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:33,440
Speaker 1: I feel is unnecessary for her to know since I

141
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,720
Speaker 1: didn't even tell her myself. I asked them to take

142
00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:38,520
Speaker 1: a step back a bit and stop telling her things

143
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:41,400
Speaker 1: about me in our relationship. But he was shocked and

144
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,400
Speaker 1: told me that I am the a hole for even

145
00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:47,440
Speaker 1: requesting such a thing, and now I feel guilty.

146
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:51,159
Speaker 2: A I don't think OPI's the a hole. You know,

147
00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:54,279
Speaker 2: we're we're getting a very one sided story here. Besides

148
00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:57,040
Speaker 2: the oversharing, I feel like the oversharing like OHP has

149
00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:59,680
Speaker 2: a right to her own information, yes, and so you

150
00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:03,000
Speaker 2: tell someone in confidence something that should be kept in confidence.

151
00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:06,799
Speaker 2: But besides that, there really isn't too much like damning

152
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,640
Speaker 2: evidence of any foul play, with the exception of like

153
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:13,720
Speaker 2: I hope he gets his girlfriend gifts too at random,

154
00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:16,320
Speaker 2: like if he's getting if he's giving her gifts and

155
00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:19,160
Speaker 2: sister gifts, then you know, but if he's just if

156
00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:23,160
Speaker 2: it's like kids, personality trait or whatever, I'm a gifter, okay,

157
00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:25,560
Speaker 2: right yeah, but like I'm not gonna lie. This is

158
00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:28,120
Speaker 2: suspicious fuck well, the thing is same. Oh, I know.

159
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:33,119
Speaker 2: Is there an update? There's enough? God?

160
00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:39,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm guessing most of you know what happened. It's

161
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:43,320
Speaker 1: so predictable. I'm kicking myself after not realizing they are

162
00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:46,280
Speaker 1: cheating with each other. Could we have ever predicted this?

163
00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:49,000
Speaker 2: Never? Yeah, everyone's good afford to do this. It's rough, though,

164
00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:52,240
Speaker 2: because it's like it's like your two most trusted relationships

165
00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:54,320
Speaker 2: fucking you over at the same time.

166
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:59,240
Speaker 1: Gotta be trd the the Avengers of being a crappy Yeah, dude,

167
00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:02,360
Speaker 1: that's fucking rough. Bro, it's bad, but Op has a

168
00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:05,960
Speaker 1: plan plan to cry more than cry.

169
00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:08,680
Speaker 2: I was driving back from my birthday mind you, Oh

170
00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:09,600
Speaker 2: this is her birthday?

171
00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:13,840
Speaker 1: Yes, fucking yikes, dog, Around four pm, I caught them

172
00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:18,040
Speaker 1: literally in the act of sex, of doing it.

173
00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:20,560
Speaker 2: Why were they doing it at four pm? Wait? That's

174
00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:23,320
Speaker 2: a double whammy, bro, because not only are you seeing

175
00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:25,720
Speaker 2: your sister have sex, which is kind of fucking weird,

176
00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:28,000
Speaker 2: but you're seeing your boyfriend have sex with her sister.

177
00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:30,520
Speaker 1: That has got to be one of the worst things

178
00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:33,800
Speaker 1: human eyeballs can witness. Yeah, o OP doesn't say that,

179
00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:35,640
Speaker 1: Believe it or not. It's a shakra, right, no, I

180
00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:37,960
Speaker 1: just kind of stood there with my arms folded and

181
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,800
Speaker 1: what I hope was a badass, resting bitch face on,

182
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:44,160
Speaker 1: although maybe it was more of a trying desperately not

183
00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:48,720
Speaker 1: to cry face. My boyfriend gave me a full explanation, saying,

184
00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:49,719
Speaker 1: a whole explanation.

185
00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:53,240
Speaker 2: Oh, amazing, amazing, All this can be explained, right, Yes,

186
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:57,040
Speaker 2: it was an accident spiel, you know, the the good

187
00:08:57,080 --> 00:09:01,600
Speaker 2: old I trimped and fell into your sister's into a coach.

188
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:05,719
Speaker 1: It happens to the best of us. Floors are slipperyer nowadays. Bro,

189
00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:09,439
Speaker 1: who's out here keeping these floors? Nobody, dude, These floors

190
00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,440
Speaker 1: are slipping, sliding all over the place. Have you seen

191
00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:14,679
Speaker 1: the hardwood on these new apartments. It's it's they crazy

192
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,400
Speaker 1: sign they shine their oil in them.

193
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:16,560
Speaker 2: Up.

194
00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:19,880
Speaker 1: Bill Clinton goes into the into the oval office slips,

195
00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:23,720
Speaker 1: saying unbelievable, insane. I just ignored him and started packing

196
00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:26,400
Speaker 1: my things. Thank god, our lease was up for renewal

197
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:27,080
Speaker 1: within the month.

198
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,240
Speaker 2: You know, it's actually just a giant ploy because the

199
00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:32,360
Speaker 2: landlord wants them out because they're bad tenants. And they're like, yo,

200
00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:34,280
Speaker 2: all right, I know one thing that will fuck this

201
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:37,240
Speaker 2: up let's get the boyfriend and the sister together. By

202
00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:39,520
Speaker 2: it being about a boom, they'll be out. I'll be

203
00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:42,160
Speaker 2: ready to sell this rent control department.

204
00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:44,920
Speaker 1: That would be the greatest Like if if the landlord

205
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:47,240
Speaker 1: replied with that update, that would be the greatest rid

206
00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:47,840
Speaker 1: of story of all.

207
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:49,920
Speaker 2: I am the landlord, and I did this try.

208
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,480
Speaker 1: My boyfriend begged me and eventually yelled at me for

209
00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:54,640
Speaker 1: packing up my things.

210
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:58,480
Speaker 2: What, bro, you have no idea? What are you gonna say?

211
00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:02,480
Speaker 2: Stop leaving just because I cheated on you? Yeah? You did.

212
00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:07,439
Speaker 2: Fuck It is like they wait for me to come

213
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:10,319
Speaker 2: and Tom caught to you. Jesus, Yeah, you know that's

214
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,559
Speaker 2: all the time I need. Come on.

215
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:15,120
Speaker 1: The funny thing is I bought most of the furniture

216
00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:19,120
Speaker 1: and supplies, so me, being slightly petty, packed up as

217
00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:21,959
Speaker 1: much of our possessions as I possibly could.

218
00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:22,960
Speaker 2: Fucking you get it.

219
00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:25,880
Speaker 1: My friend d helped me and we loaded everything up

220
00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:26,600
Speaker 1: into her car.

221
00:10:26,679 --> 00:10:32,679
Speaker 2: Wait, these nuts not anymore? Amore? Now it's no nuts.

222
00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:34,800
Speaker 1: We left some stuff that couldn't fit, but I'm gonna

223
00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:37,560
Speaker 1: go back for that later. The whole time, my sister

224
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:41,960
Speaker 1: was sitting stoically wrapped in a robe on my couch,

225
00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:44,640
Speaker 1: My poor couch, Opie says. We went back to my

226
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:47,880
Speaker 1: friend D's house and I had a breakdown. D, the

227
00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,320
Speaker 1: angel that she is, provided me with ice cream and

228
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:53,880
Speaker 1: fuzzy blankets. Shout out D, good friend. My boyfriend spammed

229
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:57,400
Speaker 1: me with calls and texts ranging from I'm sorry, babe,

230
00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:59,680
Speaker 1: please just forgive me, I love you and you know

231
00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:02,960
Speaker 1: it was only a one time thing to other gems

232
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,839
Speaker 1: like this wasn't my fault, you should have been home more.

233
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:09,480
Speaker 1: We decided to check the recordings of cameras that I

234
00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:12,520
Speaker 1: had put up to see if they were doing dape.

235
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:15,400
Speaker 1: It was definitely not just once. Oh I am.

236
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:18,880
Speaker 2: Really sad that the sister who used to bake cupcakes

237
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:22,400
Speaker 2: and do karaoke with me could betray me this badly. See,

238
00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:26,200
Speaker 2: this is why I'm glad. I'm like, my my sibling

239
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,640
Speaker 2: is not the same sex as me. I'm not saying

240
00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:31,440
Speaker 2: that my sister would ever hook up with someone I

241
00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:33,760
Speaker 2: was dating if she was a man. Yeah, I'm just

242
00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,760
Speaker 2: glad that it's less of a possibility. The chances are

243
00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:37,880
Speaker 2: much lower. Yes.

244
00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:42,719
Speaker 1: So for my boyfriend, well, he was actually my first yikes,

245
00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:46,920
Speaker 1: and in hindsight, he didn't really contribute much anyways, if

246
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:49,640
Speaker 1: you get what I'm saying, yesterday kind of rotating through

247
00:11:49,679 --> 00:11:53,840
Speaker 1: being devastated, angry, self righteous, But today D pampered me

248
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:54,960
Speaker 1: all day.

249
00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:57,199
Speaker 2: So it wasn't so bad. D is the best friend ever,

250
00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:58,160
Speaker 2: be is the best.

251
00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:01,760
Speaker 1: Thanks for everyone's support, and I hope that everyone has

252
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:02,360
Speaker 1: a good day.

253
00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:05,600
Speaker 2: Well at least like OP knows to leave all right. Yeah,

254
00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:09,040
Speaker 2: some people, some people in the restories get like, how

255
00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:11,920
Speaker 2: could I move past this with my partner? How do

256
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:15,880
Speaker 2: I rectify this? Bro? You don't rectify, shait man. You

257
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:19,319
Speaker 2: hit the eject button. Fucking go out of that plane, dip. Yeah,

258
00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:22,920
Speaker 2: allowed to crash into a thousand pieces into a mountain.

259
00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:26,199
Speaker 2: Hopefully you can parachute out with your life. Like like

260
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,520
Speaker 2: like that video that we watched earlier, Oh my god,

261
00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:31,199
Speaker 2: that was crazy. We saw a video of literally this

262
00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:33,959
Speaker 2: guy driving a plane and then crashed into another plane.

263
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,600
Speaker 2: Oh it crashes into another plane's two planes that it

264
00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:39,880
Speaker 2: crashes into another plane. Oh my god. It also has

265
00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:42,720
Speaker 2: skydivers and they all fucking fall out. So there's just

266
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:45,880
Speaker 2: skydiver falling out of the stelly. I mean, at least

267
00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:47,040
Speaker 2: they all parachutes. I got.

268
00:12:48,679 --> 00:12:52,920
Speaker 1: Jesus fingers crossed God. But honestly, that TikTok video was

269
00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:57,120
Speaker 1: a visual metaphor for it. Literally, this story eject baby,

270
00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,320
Speaker 1: except op. With all the people now we are with

271
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,840
Speaker 1: this story, know that you were loved. And hey, everyone

272
00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:03,760
Speaker 1: in the comments, please just say that they love a PA.

273
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:07,360
Speaker 1: That's right, throw it down, throw throw it okayop.

274
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,960
Speaker 2: Hey, I'm Samuel Donner, I'm John Fry, and this is

275
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:14,160
Speaker 2: okayop where we read the funniest stories on the Internet.

276
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,240
Speaker 2: Let's get into it. Let's do it. So, John, I

277
00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:19,480
Speaker 2: have a pretty good story for you to start. I'm excited.

278
00:13:19,679 --> 00:13:24,600
Speaker 2: This is today. I afft up by masturbating in front

279
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:28,000
Speaker 2: of my neighbor. It doesn't sound good. No, we're not

280
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,679
Speaker 2: at star. Yeah, we're not starting only fans here. I

281
00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:33,520
Speaker 2: think this is uh, this is accidental. So uh no,

282
00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:36,880
Speaker 2: only fans in sight yet, although maybe should maybe we should,

283
00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:40,320
Speaker 2: maybe we should you show it? Actually, John and I

284
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,599
Speaker 2: starting an only fans right now. If you want to

285
00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:48,080
Speaker 2: describe subscribe tip us. We need it. But we're struggling artists, seriously,

286
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:50,120
Speaker 2: and we have to do only fans just to survive.

287
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:54,280
Speaker 2: All right, So today aft up by masturbating in front

288
00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:57,120
Speaker 2: of my neighbor. I don't know how to even begin

289
00:13:57,320 --> 00:14:02,400
Speaker 2: an explanation, but the imax of this story involves me,

290
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:07,200
Speaker 2: female twenties, lying on my back under the covers, face

291
00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:13,320
Speaker 2: twisted into the obvious oh configuration, kicky lesbian porn playing

292
00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:17,640
Speaker 2: on my laptop while my neighbor stares at me in

293
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:21,360
Speaker 2: shock through the open apartment door. I opened my eyes

294
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:24,280
Speaker 2: to see him standing there, and we make eye contact

295
00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:27,280
Speaker 2: for like a millisecond before my neighbor turns away and

296
00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:30,600
Speaker 2: I yell for my boyfriend. Boyfriend, come over here. So

297
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,640
Speaker 2: boyfriend looks at me, follows my line of sight to

298
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:37,080
Speaker 2: the open door, and rushes to slam it shut. Okay,

299
00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:42,240
Speaker 2: this is wow. I'm speechless. I feel like the millisecond

300
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,640
Speaker 2: of eye contact is the worst. Like I almost feel

301
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:47,800
Speaker 2: like a longer eye contact would have been better, but

302
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:51,000
Speaker 2: for some reason, just a Milliseconduh, that's that's when you

303
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:53,720
Speaker 2: know you want you want more eye contact with this person. Yeah, yeah,

304
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:55,280
Speaker 2: you know, just to like let you know, like, oh,

305
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,000
Speaker 2: like you know this is a mistake, you know, like

306
00:14:57,040 --> 00:15:00,320
Speaker 2: oh like like you could like make eye contact all right,

307
00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:02,000
Speaker 2: but then it's just that you don't have you don't

308
00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:04,200
Speaker 2: with a millisecond. You don't have enough time to communicate

309
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:07,320
Speaker 2: how awkward the situation is, and you don't you know,

310
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:10,000
Speaker 2: you're not able to show like the intentions right behind

311
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:16,480
Speaker 2: uh behind it? Yeah? Okay, So anyway, backing up, So,

312
00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:19,080
Speaker 2: I live with my partner in a two story house

313
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:23,560
Speaker 2: divided into four apartments. There are several entrances to the house.

314
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:25,640
Speaker 2: We share our main entrance with the couple who live

315
00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:29,240
Speaker 2: directly above us. This shared front door is adjacent to

316
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:32,200
Speaker 2: our apartment door, and we have discovered that the force

317
00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:35,240
Speaker 2: of our neighbors slamming the front door shut is enough

318
00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:38,440
Speaker 2: to fling our apartment door open if our door is

319
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:41,560
Speaker 2: already slightly a jar or simply not clicked into place.

320
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:43,480
Speaker 2: Our last bolt is a little sticky, so to shut

321
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:46,280
Speaker 2: the door properly we need to pull it shut quite tightly,

322
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,800
Speaker 2: or else jiggle the handle a bit. And my boyfriend

323
00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:52,080
Speaker 2: consistently forgets about this, so it's basically his fault. Yeah,

324
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:54,680
Speaker 2: it's basically his followed dude calling out the boyfriend, Why

325
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:57,160
Speaker 2: are you forgetting all the time? Man? Our apartment door

326
00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:59,960
Speaker 2: has swung open several times As a result, more than

327
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:03,040
Speaker 2: once I have noticed that it's wide open when I

328
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:05,440
Speaker 2: come home from work, or it will open while we're

329
00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:08,440
Speaker 2: hanging around at home. Once the door busted open while

330
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:10,600
Speaker 2: I was standing in the living room in my t

331
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:13,920
Speaker 2: shirt and panties, Our neighbor looked toward our apartment, probably

332
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:16,400
Speaker 2: assuming that we opened it out on purpose and expecting

333
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:21,000
Speaker 2: to see us exiting. Instead, we made awkward eye contact

334
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:26,840
Speaker 2: while I was half naked, he said, awkwardly, like, I

335
00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:29,960
Speaker 2: don't know what you do? Well, what do you do?

336
00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:33,080
Speaker 2: You just keep it moving, least keep it moving, just

337
00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:35,880
Speaker 2: hurt your eyes. But what if you're making eye contact?

338
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,360
Speaker 2: Like if you've made eye contact, you just were like

339
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:41,200
Speaker 2: me personally, I'm just like, all right, let me.

340
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:45,560
Speaker 1: I want to abort the situation as effectively and quickly

341
00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:46,080
Speaker 1: as possible.

342
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:48,000
Speaker 2: I would just like do a turtal kind of situation

343
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:51,120
Speaker 2: where right, yeah, and then just move around, you know,

344
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:55,240
Speaker 2: turtle turtle up family. Instead, we made awkward eye contact

345
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:59,640
Speaker 2: while I was half naked, he said, awkwardly, looking visibly

346
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:03,240
Speaker 2: surprise and confused. I said hi, and then walked over

347
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,520
Speaker 2: and shut the door, not knowing what else to do.

348
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,520
Speaker 2: All right, And this hasn't only happened one time. This

349
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:11,760
Speaker 2: has happened multiple times. So another time, the door swung

350
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:14,080
Speaker 2: open while I was naked in the kitchen.

351
00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:17,600
Speaker 1: Okay, hold on, I gotta pause right here, she's masturbating

352
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:18,320
Speaker 1: in a living room.

353
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:21,360
Speaker 2: It sounds like she's naked in the kitchen. I think

354
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,480
Speaker 2: she's just naked. I think she's just an exhibitionist, right

355
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:29,600
Speaker 2: like low key. If you know your door is going

356
00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:32,840
Speaker 2: to be slightly a jar sometimes you why are you

357
00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:35,919
Speaker 2: taking the risk of cooking naked right like? You're not

358
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,399
Speaker 2: right it to it. You don't have a bunch of

359
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:40,920
Speaker 2: fur to cover up your nakedness. Should where at least

360
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:43,920
Speaker 2: a chef's apron if you're gonna be like sexy kitchen. Yeah,

361
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:48,600
Speaker 2: bare minimum. But she's doing the bare bare minimum. So

362
00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:51,480
Speaker 2: to shut the door. Another time the door swung open,

363
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:54,159
Speaker 2: I was naked in the kitchen. Fortunately, the kitchen is

364
00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:56,960
Speaker 2: just out of sight from where our neighbor was to

365
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,760
Speaker 2: shut the door, I would have had to walk naked

366
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,600
Speaker 2: into the living room, where I almost certainly would have

367
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:05,600
Speaker 2: been seen. So I had to scream, boyfriend, boyfriend, come

368
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:08,760
Speaker 2: close the door please. Boyfriend didn't hear me playing computer

369
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:11,960
Speaker 2: games in our bedroom with the door closed, nerd, not

370
00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:14,720
Speaker 2: looking at your hot ass? Girlfriend naked in the kitchen,

371
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,000
Speaker 2: come on, give her a little time and respect. But

372
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,800
Speaker 2: the neighbor did. He pulled the door shut and yelled

373
00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:23,960
Speaker 2: sorry before continuing on his way, which like kind of

374
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,080
Speaker 2: like a stand up thing to do. Definitely.

375
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:29,000
Speaker 1: I mean, if it's still awkward, if the door swings

376
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:31,600
Speaker 1: open and you see a naked woman, good, the right

377
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:32,720
Speaker 1: thing to do is to close the door.

378
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:34,720
Speaker 2: That's the right thing, all right, So I like I

379
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:37,000
Speaker 2: feel that, But now I'm thinking, like, if the naked

380
00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:40,960
Speaker 2: woman is seeing you run towards the door, Oh yeah,

381
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:44,439
Speaker 2: that's also a very good point. Yeah, so maybe so

382
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:49,439
Speaker 2: maybe stone approach doors with naked women behind them unless

383
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:52,480
Speaker 2: you are given consent to do so. Can I close

384
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:54,879
Speaker 2: the door? Can I close the door? I was very

385
00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:58,960
Speaker 2: angry and embarrassed after these events, After the Naked Kitchen Fiasco.

386
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:01,960
Speaker 2: I love that name. By the way, operation Naked Kitchen

387
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,560
Speaker 2: name the Naked Kitchen Fiasco. That's a good band name.

388
00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:07,879
Speaker 2: All right, We're changing the name of the show Naked

389
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:11,639
Speaker 2: Kitchen Fiasco. Boyfriend told me that he would simply start

390
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,840
Speaker 2: locking our apartment door when he came home as a

391
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:16,679
Speaker 2: way to ensure that this never happened again. Which I

392
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:19,399
Speaker 2: don't know how this wasn't already thing should be, but

393
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,000
Speaker 2: thanks Ry to that place. So the best of my knowledge,

394
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,760
Speaker 2: he has always locked our door since and we haven't

395
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:28,800
Speaker 2: had any more mishaps except for today. Today our neighbors

396
00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:31,320
Speaker 2: slammed the front door shut behind him on his way.

397
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:35,359
Speaker 2: As per usual, our door was unlocked and swung open.

398
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:39,639
Speaker 2: At one of the worst possible moments, I was laying

399
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:43,600
Speaker 2: in bed masturbating with the bedroom door open in direct view.

400
00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:47,040
Speaker 2: Boyfriend was playing computer games across the room and out

401
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:50,960
Speaker 2: of you. All right, boyfriend, my boyfriend, bro, pay att

402
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:53,840
Speaker 2: to your girlfriend. She's masturbating like ten feet away and

403
00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:56,080
Speaker 2: you can't even give her any attention. Bru, what are

404
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,520
Speaker 2: you doing? I think there's some underlying relationship issues here

405
00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:01,600
Speaker 2: that yeah, like there's something about this that doesn't speak

406
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:06,720
Speaker 2: to me as like this is exemplifying a healthy relationship. Fortunately,

407
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:09,359
Speaker 2: I happened to have the covers pulled up over my body,

408
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,000
Speaker 2: and boyfriend has promised me that it probably just looked

409
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:14,960
Speaker 2: like I was relaxing in bed, which I guess she

410
00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:18,240
Speaker 2: kind of was, uh, and she thinks I really don't

411
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:21,600
Speaker 2: think so, But it's a nice thing to believe. I'm horrified,

412
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,280
Speaker 2: and I feel like my privacy was invaded. But this

413
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:27,280
Speaker 2: was not our neighbor's fault, which obviously it's not our

414
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:30,679
Speaker 2: neighbor's fault. Oh and my boyfriend certainly didn't intend for

415
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:33,520
Speaker 2: this to happen either. I also have significant culpability here

416
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,320
Speaker 2: for not shutting the bedroom door myself. I just really

417
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,920
Speaker 2: didn't think of it as far as I knew our

418
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:42,399
Speaker 2: door swinging issues had been resolved for months. Another concern

419
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:44,400
Speaker 2: I have is that our neighbor might think I am

420
00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:47,960
Speaker 2: doing this intentionally. Yeah, like that I've been accidentally on

421
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:51,880
Speaker 2: purpose keeping the door ajar during compromising situations. It's even

422
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,840
Speaker 2: worse to think that he could have gotten a glimpse

423
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,800
Speaker 2: of the porn playing on my laptop with headphones. But still,

424
00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,760
Speaker 2: my boyfriend knows that I'm buying into weird sex stuff.

425
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,480
Speaker 2: I like. I like the rabbit hole we're going down here.

426
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:05,959
Speaker 2: We're learning so many details. But this is but this

427
00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:08,560
Speaker 2: is really not something I want to advertise outside of

428
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:18,679
Speaker 2: a relationship, I guess except on Reddit and wow, tens

429
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:23,280
Speaker 2: of thousands of views. Wow, and the eyebrow raising nature

430
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:28,680
Speaker 2: of the porn just makes everything feel so much worse. So, uh,

431
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:32,760
Speaker 2: that's quite the saga, the masturbation saga, the sex saga

432
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:35,960
Speaker 2: that I actually know. Let's call it the uh naked

433
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,240
Speaker 2: kitchen kitchen Fiasco for naked kitchen fiasco where John and

434
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:41,840
Speaker 2: I are making the album right now, that's right. You

435
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:44,600
Speaker 2: can buy it exclusively on our only fans. Yeah, making

436
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,840
Speaker 2: kitchen fiasco actually only fans isn't just for sex anymore.

437
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,960
Speaker 2: It's also for music. You know. Only fans started off

438
00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:54,440
Speaker 2: as a cooking place, like really to get money, yeah,

439
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:56,920
Speaker 2: for for like a Patreon for chefs base, Yeah, basically

440
00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:59,720
Speaker 2: Patreon for chefs and then uh, and then other things

441
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:04,119
Speaker 2: happen were cooking up something else, up something else. But

442
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,000
Speaker 2: I honestly think we could do well an only fans

443
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:08,080
Speaker 2: their naked kitchen feet. I think I think so. But

444
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:08,720
Speaker 2: what's our first song?

445
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:10,520
Speaker 1: Our first song is definitely what was it? What was

446
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:13,199
Speaker 1: the songs our last one? Something not Anti Santa?

447
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,560
Speaker 2: Oh it was it was the anti Santa. It was

448
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:19,960
Speaker 2: like there was like Tom Tom Kringle Crackle Crack Cragle

449
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:23,040
Speaker 2: and Chris Kringle. Yeah. I think it goes something like

450
00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:26,920
Speaker 2: we got bells and whistles in the kitchen is run

451
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:31,120
Speaker 2: and we got naked people with thumbs up there bumming,

452
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:35,200
Speaker 2: and that's all I got. John, take it over.

453
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:40,880
Speaker 1: Okay, we got saying a claus and old Tom Craggle.

454
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:42,760
Speaker 2: Okay, here he comes.

455
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:47,000
Speaker 1: He's the last episode, such rascal Tom Craggle.

456
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:49,480
Speaker 2: He's going to military school. I don't think so that's

457
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:53,240
Speaker 2: not cool, Mom, that's not I hate you, and I'm

458
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:55,160
Speaker 2: shooting Santa in a face. Hey.

459
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:57,720
Speaker 1: Everything that I've ever done is for me to be

460
00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,800
Speaker 1: here in this place. Hey, my name is Crackle, and

461
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,679
Speaker 1: I got one thing to say. Hey, you come for me,

462
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:07,560
Speaker 1: and I will end your life. Your life, all right?

463
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:12,000
Speaker 2: Another interition, Uh, a musical indition by John and zeb

464
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:13,919
Speaker 2: All right, John, what do you got for? Right? We

465
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,760
Speaker 2: got to a second story. Guys, there's an epidemic of

466
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:19,359
Speaker 2: neighbors spying on us while we're masturbating.

467
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:23,000
Speaker 1: So one follow equals what John. One follow equals one

468
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:26,920
Speaker 1: less person seeing you masturbate. Amen, let's let's stop the epidemic.

469
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:30,400
Speaker 2: Let's stop it. Let's stop it. You can take my money.

470
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:35,120
Speaker 2: You can call me lady, you can marn I mean

471
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:41,840
Speaker 2: and man these Jordan's you can man me, hate mean me.

472
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:51,080
Speaker 2: Don't touch my truck, are we ready? I'm ready, John, No, no, none, okayop.

473
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:54,440
Speaker 1: Today I fed up by staying the night at my

474
00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:58,960
Speaker 1: boyfriend's and taking a massive, burly ass poop.

475
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:02,200
Speaker 2: For the love of God, won't go down the drain.

476
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:06,520
Speaker 2: Oh no, here we go? Oh my god, bro, how

477
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:08,159
Speaker 2: big is that poop? To fill you in?

478
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:10,800
Speaker 1: I am a five foot college student with a reasonable

479
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:14,560
Speaker 1: digestion system that occasionally decides to f me over when

480
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:16,640
Speaker 1: I'm in the presence of company. That's very unfortunate.

481
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 2: I'm just like, now that she's only five foot.

482
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:21,800
Speaker 1: It does make it better. It does make it like

483
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:25,320
Speaker 1: I'm just imagining, like she just takes a poop that's

484
00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:25,680
Speaker 1: like as.

485
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:27,920
Speaker 2: Large as her Yeah yeah, and just like a anacon

486
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:30,760
Speaker 2: to crawling out that yeah bum. Quick backstory.

487
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:34,200
Speaker 1: I decided to live at my boyfriend's hostel where girls

488
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:35,280
Speaker 1: aren't allowed after.

489
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:37,200
Speaker 2: Nine pm, because I love him and one to spend

490
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:39,919
Speaker 2: time with him. Oh it's like a regular Romeo and Juliet.

491
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:43,080
Speaker 2: They're not supposed to be together, but they're damn gonna try.

492
00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:45,399
Speaker 1: We also have a truckload of assignments to be finished

493
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:47,359
Speaker 1: and submitted by the next day, and it's fun to

494
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:48,240
Speaker 1: have company while working.

495
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:50,520
Speaker 2: That's true. That's John and I are working together. That's

496
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:52,600
Speaker 2: what we're doing. This we in the camera.

497
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:55,760
Speaker 1: I am also on my period and my stomach has

498
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:58,240
Speaker 1: been acting up, but little did I know it was

499
00:24:58,359 --> 00:25:01,760
Speaker 1: for some other reason, yes, foreshadowing.

500
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 2: Uh oh shoot, all right, I'm ready.

501
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:07,800
Speaker 1: So I'm casually sitting and working, and suddenly nature calls.

502
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:10,880
Speaker 1: I rush into the bathroom, hoping to lose weight.

503
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:15,440
Speaker 2: I like that. She really has a way with words. Yeah,

504
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,920
Speaker 2: this is this is a poet right here is a

505
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:19,480
Speaker 2: poop poet, a poop.

506
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:27,000
Speaker 1: Poet, the PEPs, a feces facilitator, theces philosopher as philosopher.

507
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:29,119
Speaker 2: Or I was gonna. I also said feces pharaoh, but

508
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:32,080
Speaker 2: I think I think feces philosopher is more in line

509
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:34,440
Speaker 2: with a poem. All right, all right, wait wait, so

510
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:38,280
Speaker 2: we got we got feces philosopher, we got poop poet,

511
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:41,760
Speaker 2: poop poet. And what's another we got a creative cocock.

512
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:44,639
Speaker 1: Creative cock, yes, whatever, that's what we got. All right,

513
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:46,600
Speaker 1: so our pooping poet. Now I'm sitting there, humming and

514
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:50,080
Speaker 1: expecting blood to flow, when all of a sudden, boom.

515
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:54,440
Speaker 2: A massive burly ass crap just falls out of me.

516
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:56,399
Speaker 2: What does it mean to say burly crap?

517
00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:00,680
Speaker 1: I'm just imagining like a strong little man and just

518
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:04,040
Speaker 1: like falling out of her butthole into the water, just

519
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:09,200
Speaker 1: like just the buffest boy, the buffest, buffiest boy.

520
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:12,320
Speaker 2: You gonna get a hurt. Ye, I'm gonna poop a

521
00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:13,080
Speaker 2: little burly man.

522
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:15,359
Speaker 1: I think, oh, well, now I can concentrate better on

523
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:17,600
Speaker 1: my work. As I get it from the pot flush,

524
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:20,600
Speaker 1: I see a brown dash of color on the white

525
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:22,720
Speaker 1: comode from the side of my eye. And then it

526
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:26,600
Speaker 1: dawns on me that I've taken a crap that refuses.

527
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:29,480
Speaker 2: To get flushed. Dude, that's the worst. I don't know

528
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:32,159
Speaker 2: if anyone's taking a poop at a friend's place, or

529
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 2: like a girlfriend's place, or just like anyone that is

530
00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:38,200
Speaker 2: any home that's not your own. And then you go

531
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:40,320
Speaker 2: to flush and then it just like it's like it

532
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:42,880
Speaker 2: goes and then it starts filling up and you see

533
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:43,600
Speaker 2: the poop rising.

534
00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:46,919
Speaker 1: You're like, no, I'm gonna I'm gonna vomit. I'm all

535
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:48,680
Speaker 1: this imagining poop in my head.

536
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:49,880
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

537
00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:51,960
Speaker 1: I look for a bucket to fill water in and

538
00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:55,000
Speaker 1: pour it into the pot. But there is no bucket

539
00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:58,280
Speaker 1: because someone had stolen it. Why would you steal a

540
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:00,960
Speaker 1: bucket from who's what is a bucket from a bat?

541
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:02,719
Speaker 2: And like, what are you doing with that bucket too?

542
00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:05,639
Speaker 2: That buckets dirty? You know what? You don't want that bucket.

543
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 1: I decided to try again and wait for the water

544
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:10,480
Speaker 1: tank to refill and flush again. She yes, this poop

545
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:11,920
Speaker 1: is an integral part of my life.

546
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:15,680
Speaker 2: Now, oh oh, she's named it. We've put a little

547
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:19,000
Speaker 2: anthropo anthropomorphization on this poop.

548
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 1: It's still floating like it's a tube in the swimming

549
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:23,280
Speaker 1: pool of a rich person living in Hollywood.

550
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:24,920
Speaker 2: Wow. I try again.

551
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:28,680
Speaker 1: She is still there. It is close to midnight, and

552
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:33,320
Speaker 1: something evil is lurking in this pot. Now I'm panicking

553
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:37,160
Speaker 1: because I've flushed about three times and it still refuses

554
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 1: to go down. I decided to confess to my boyfriend,

555
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:42,560
Speaker 1: who is concerned since I started flushing three plus times

556
00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:44,320
Speaker 1: to get rid of it. He then laughs and gets

557
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,639
Speaker 1: up to check the situation out, at which point I

558
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:50,159
Speaker 1: decided to fight him because I'm embarrassed since I genuinely

559
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:54,040
Speaker 1: don't take burly ass dumps and this just had to

560
00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:56,200
Speaker 1: happen in the house of the man that I love.

561
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:59,760
Speaker 2: Oh, wow, love, it's dropping the L word all right.

562
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,280
Speaker 1: After a bit, we both tried flushing down the piece

563
00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:05,840
Speaker 1: of crap, but it was stubborn and doesn't go down.

564
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:08,920
Speaker 2: She's a stubborn one. She is not go down without

565
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:11,480
Speaker 2: a fight. She's a burly, stubborn one.

566
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:15,359
Speaker 1: At this point, we flushed well over six or seven times,

567
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:17,720
Speaker 1: and I want to just hide in the corner and

568
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:20,879
Speaker 1: never show my face again because of the abomination that

569
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:22,720
Speaker 1: I've unleashed into this pot.

570
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:27,359
Speaker 2: I'm almost like imagining Pandora's Box, but like Pandora's poop box,

571
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:31,320
Speaker 2: Pandera's Poopa's but opened onto the world. Yeah. My boyfriend then.

572
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,800
Speaker 1: Suggests to fill up an empty dust bin with water

573
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,960
Speaker 1: and then pour it into the pot. Obviously that works,

574
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 1: and the piece of crap is now rested in peace

575
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:43,800
Speaker 1: and probably clogging a different pipe. Wow, it's been half

576
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:46,120
Speaker 1: an hour and neither of us can stop laughing about

577
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:49,000
Speaker 1: how I, a five foot person, gave birth to one

578
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:53,280
Speaker 1: of the nastiest, burliest, and most aggressive dumps of all time.

579
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 2: Wow, John, you got a mouth, right, yeah yeah, and

580
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:59,440
Speaker 2: you got some sweet lips, And everybody listening has a

581
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:03,000
Speaker 2: beautifuls that we have to fill with food to survive,

582
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:05,160
Speaker 2: and John the best and freshest way to do that

583
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:07,280
Speaker 2: is Hello Fresh check you. It is like throw your

584
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:10,880
Speaker 2: grocery cards right off a cliff, because HelloFresh will send

585
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:13,480
Speaker 2: your meals right to your door. Oh and you know

586
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:16,000
Speaker 2: their meals only take fifteen minutes. Say fifteen minutes and

587
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:16,920
Speaker 2: listen to what they got.

588
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:20,960
Speaker 1: I'm talking creamy garlic spinach for conda raviolio. I'm talking

589
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:25,000
Speaker 1: barbecue ribs with buffalo mac and cheese. I'm talking cranberry

590
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:28,440
Speaker 1: time roasted chicken. This stuff is crazy. We also got

591
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:30,800
Speaker 1: the greatest deal on planet Earth.

592
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:33,360
Speaker 2: We do we do? You get twenty one free meals

593
00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:36,800
Speaker 2: plus pretty shipping. Wait, Sam, are you sure? Twenty nineteen?

594
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:40,680
Speaker 2: We know twenty one what twenty one and our audience

595
00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 2: deserves it. So go to HelloFresh dot com slash okop

596
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:48,000
Speaker 2: twenty one and use code okop twenty one for twenty

597
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 2: one free meals plus free shipping.

598
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:54,320
Speaker 1: Again, that's HelloFresh dot com slash okop twenty one. Use

599
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:57,480
Speaker 1: code twenty one for twenty one free meals.

600
00:29:57,560 --> 00:30:02,480
Speaker 2: Because HelloFresh is America's number one meal kit has boom

601
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:03,560
Speaker 2: boom boom.

602
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:09,400
Speaker 1: This show is sponsored by Better Help You Know Same.

603
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:11,880
Speaker 1: It seems like this podcast has just become the Internet,

604
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,280
Speaker 1: asking us to fix their problems in their life, right.

605
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:15,960
Speaker 2: All R Yeah? I mean like, hey, we're happy to

606
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:18,720
Speaker 2: do that. We're happy to share some advice. But John,

607
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:21,400
Speaker 2: I think we should face the music. We're not professionals.

608
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 2: I mean we're pretty dang good. We are. We are.

609
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:26,000
Speaker 2: But if you want to share your thoughts and feelings

610
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:28,480
Speaker 2: with a professional, someone who can actually sit down and

611
00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:30,240
Speaker 2: like solve the problems in your life, there is a

612
00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:30,880
Speaker 2: place you can go.

613
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:34,600
Speaker 1: Yes, the perfect place to go is better Help. It's

614
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 1: online therapy. You could do it in your jammi's. You

615
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 1: fill out a questionnaire and they match you with an

616
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 1: incredible licensed professional who isn't Sam and John. And if

617
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:44,480
Speaker 1: you don't like to persson your match with same, you

618
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:46,600
Speaker 1: can switch any time with no extra cost.

619
00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:49,280
Speaker 2: Hey, that sounds like a deal within a deal. So

620
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:51,720
Speaker 2: if you want to live a more empowered life, therapy

621
00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:54,239
Speaker 2: can help you get there. So visit betterhelp dot com

622
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 2: slash okop today and get ten percent off your first month.

623
00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:01,560
Speaker 2: That's Better Help h e l pe dot com slash

624
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:09,120
Speaker 2: okop Oh. Yeah, that that takes me back, honestly, Yeah,

625
00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 2: takes me back. Yeah. Well, I I just remember like

626
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,400
Speaker 2: I was, I was seeing this was like a couple

627
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:16,400
Speaker 2: of years ago, but I was seeing this girl. And

628
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:21,080
Speaker 2: this was probably after going out a little bit, and

629
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:24,960
Speaker 2: so we had some drinks. We had some like drunk food,

630
00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:28,320
Speaker 2: which was this massive sandwich from fat sALS, right, and uh,

631
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:30,760
Speaker 2: and that does not sit well with the stomach. So

632
00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:34,360
Speaker 2: I had to go to the bathroom and literally I

633
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:38,720
Speaker 2: stink up this bathroom one, right, But then it just

634
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 2: won't flush. And the thing is like when it doesn't flush,

635
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:44,240
Speaker 2: it gets closer and closer to the top unless you wait.

636
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:46,800
Speaker 2: And I'm panicking, so I keep flushing it, but then

637
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:49,479
Speaker 2: it just keeps going up and up until it's almost

638
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:54,160
Speaker 2: like it's like it's at the like the floating poop

639
00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:57,040
Speaker 2: is at water level. It also poops float by the way,

640
00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:00,680
Speaker 2: like float right, So it's like it's it's right, it's

641
00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:02,640
Speaker 2: right there at the brim like looking over it, and

642
00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:04,440
Speaker 2: I'm like, I can't flush this again or it's going

643
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:06,600
Speaker 2: to uh or it's going to overflow and just spill

644
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:09,920
Speaker 2: out into the floor. And so uh, and so I

645
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 2: just waited in there until it went down, and I

646
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:14,680
Speaker 2: must have spent like thirty minutes in there, and she's

647
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:17,600
Speaker 2: she's like waiting for me outside wondering what's going on,

648
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:19,760
Speaker 2: and I'm just like flushing and like like watching like

649
00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:22,600
Speaker 2: biting my nails and watching it like float to the top. Uh.

650
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:23,640
Speaker 2: Not a good vibe.

651
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:26,360
Speaker 1: We should we should make it like a societal thing

652
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:27,880
Speaker 1: where it's like, you know what, if we take a

653
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:29,360
Speaker 1: big dump, it's it's okay.

654
00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:32,080
Speaker 2: It's okay, it's okay. Don't big dump shame me. We're

655
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:34,560
Speaker 2: just we're just we it happens to all of us. Yeah,

656
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:37,360
Speaker 2: why do we do this. Let's stop the big dump shaming.

657
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:41,000
Speaker 2: Stop right here, right now. If you think you shouldn't

658
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:43,920
Speaker 2: be uh, if you think you shouldn't be shamed for

659
00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:46,959
Speaker 2: having a big dump, put some in the Put put

660
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,560
Speaker 2: a poop in the comments. Everyone, Yeah, put a poop

661
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:52,480
Speaker 2: emotion in the comments. This is a no shame zone.