1 00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:03,720 Speaker 1: Scruading In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rat and I 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:11,559 Speaker 1: Heart Radio podcast. Hello everybody, We're scrubbing in. We're scrubbing 3 00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:17,520 Speaker 1: in on this special Thursday edition of Scrubbing In. Um, 4 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:20,959 Speaker 1: we have Gabby Bernstein today. She I don't even know 5 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:24,800 Speaker 1: where to start about where to even tell you about 6 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 1: her because she does so much. Yeah, she's like my 7 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:31,000 Speaker 1: soul sister. She has a soul sister. She has um 8 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:34,800 Speaker 1: um podcast called Dear Gabby. She's an author, she has 9 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:41,520 Speaker 1: nine books. She's incredible, honestly, and UM, we had such 10 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:43,280 Speaker 1: a great interview with her, and I felt like it 11 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 1: was very insightful and I'm so excited for you all 12 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:50,599 Speaker 1: to listen to it. So without further ado, just like that, oh, 13 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:53,080 Speaker 1: just like that, we're just gonna go right into it. 14 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 1: I was going to, but we cannot. So much stuff happening, 15 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:01,840 Speaker 1: you know what's happening, lots of things. Tell me, well, 16 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:04,080 Speaker 1: I will say this one thing. So I started writing 17 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,440 Speaker 1: motivational quotes every morning on these like little note cards. 18 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:09,559 Speaker 1: I've been giving them the red Star because, UM, we're 19 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:11,520 Speaker 1: both kind of in this place of just like wanting 20 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:14,440 Speaker 1: to just like take charge of things. And I'm not 21 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:17,679 Speaker 1: gonna lie. It's been really like helping me good. I'm 22 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:19,880 Speaker 1: so happy to Yeah. So if you ever catch those 23 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:24,319 Speaker 1: on Instagram story, that's what those are from little Peek 24 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:31,200 Speaker 1: behind the curtain. There a little bats you in and 25 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:34,640 Speaker 1: I got Sonny a pooch pouch. So things are looking up. 26 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:37,160 Speaker 1: I do we think she likes that? Yeah, I was 27 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:40,640 Speaker 1: gonna say, I don't imagine she loves that. You need 28 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:43,440 Speaker 1: to see her in it, because she thrives, and she 29 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:46,560 Speaker 1: looked very much wanting to get down and hop around 30 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:50,560 Speaker 1: like happened. I know, I've got a different one that's 31 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:52,120 Speaker 1: going to go my back. They'll cradle her like a 32 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:56,280 Speaker 1: little baby. Yeah. I tried to put Phoebe in one 33 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,480 Speaker 1: of those, and the only benefit of it was like 34 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:01,280 Speaker 1: people were like dying over how cute it was. But 35 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:04,000 Speaker 1: I didn't feel like it benefited her much. So just 36 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:06,640 Speaker 1: easier it just run errands, just PLoP her in there. 37 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:15,800 Speaker 1: Baby is gonna be wild mentally, can't go there. So 38 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:18,400 Speaker 1: with that we can get into Gabby. Okay, I'm so 39 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:21,480 Speaker 1: thank you for sharing that that peel the curtain Peak 40 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:23,800 Speaker 1: behind the curtain. Somebody was messaging me, they were like, 41 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:26,720 Speaker 1: what are all these random like cards you keep posting 42 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:28,720 Speaker 1: on your Instagram and I was like, I don't really 43 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:31,320 Speaker 1: explain why I have this. Yeah, I appreciate they always 44 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:36,200 Speaker 1: give me a little boost. Thanks. Um. Anyways, without further 45 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 1: anything else, I don't want to cut you off again. 46 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:41,400 Speaker 1: Your hair looks great. My hair just the color. I'm 47 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:47,120 Speaker 1: liking it more and more as it's like fading out. Okay, 48 00:02:47,560 --> 00:03:05,360 Speaker 1: here's our interview with Gabby. All Right, everyone, we have 49 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:07,919 Speaker 1: a very special guest. I really feel like Tammy is 50 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:11,200 Speaker 1: about to find I wouldn't say her a replacement for me, 51 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:14,440 Speaker 1: but a new best friend. Um, we have a Gabby 52 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:21,920 Speaker 1: Bernstein in the scrubbing in are welcome, Gabby. Happy to 53 00:03:21,919 --> 00:03:24,200 Speaker 1: be here, ladies, so nice to be with you. First 54 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,800 Speaker 1: of all, Becca, there is no replacement for you, Like, 55 00:03:26,919 --> 00:03:32,040 Speaker 1: that's just I don't think Gabby or more of like, um, 56 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:36,680 Speaker 1: a savant is savant the right word? Like an inspiration? Yeah, 57 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:43,160 Speaker 1: like an inspiration. I'm happy to be here inspiring and 58 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:48,839 Speaker 1: best friending and what ever comes through. I have so 59 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:52,760 Speaker 1: many questions because you have so much, Like when people 60 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:54,880 Speaker 1: introduce you, so you have this new podcast it's called 61 00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:57,560 Speaker 1: Dear Gabby, and then you have how many books do 62 00:03:57,560 --> 00:04:02,560 Speaker 1: you have now? This is my leinth book, your book, 63 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:04,760 Speaker 1: So when people like, when people introduce you, do they 64 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:08,280 Speaker 1: call you author? Do they call you life coach? What's 65 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:14,000 Speaker 1: that kind of your I would say the short bio 66 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:19,039 Speaker 1: would be number one New York Times bestselling author, motivational speaker. 67 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:24,080 Speaker 1: I also identify as a podcaster. Now, as you mentioned, 68 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:25,920 Speaker 1: I'm coming up on a year of my podcast. Dear 69 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:32,039 Speaker 1: Gabby and mom to my son Oliver who's three, and 70 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:36,960 Speaker 1: leader and you know all the other and fun friend 71 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:39,800 Speaker 1: and lots of things that I believe I am. Yeah, 72 00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:42,040 Speaker 1: because you know what, we as modern women, we are 73 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 1: multi hyphen it. You know what I mean. We are 74 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,160 Speaker 1: not in a box. You do not just give us 75 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:50,120 Speaker 1: one thing. We can be multiple things. That's right. I 76 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,839 Speaker 1: couldn't agree with more. Okay, I want to talk to 77 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:55,560 Speaker 1: you about um before you got your first book deal, 78 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:59,320 Speaker 1: because now you're nine in was it hell getting that 79 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,200 Speaker 1: first book deal done? Like? Did you have to experience 80 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:04,480 Speaker 1: a lot of ups and downs? Or was it just 81 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:10,560 Speaker 1: like easy as pie? You know? I often say it 82 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:14,799 Speaker 1: took me like three years to sell my first book 83 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:18,359 Speaker 1: and three days to sell my second, you know, and 84 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,120 Speaker 1: then like you know, from that point where it was like, 85 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,200 Speaker 1: you know, just selling books just out of the blue 86 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:25,000 Speaker 1: because you have a track record. Right, So when I 87 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:26,960 Speaker 1: sold my first book, maybe it was like two years. 88 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,240 Speaker 1: It took it to I sold this first book when 89 00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:32,359 Speaker 1: I was twenty seven or something, you know, started my 90 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,880 Speaker 1: career as a spiritual teacher at and then it was 91 00:05:35,839 --> 00:05:38,479 Speaker 1: when I sold the first twenty seven when I sold 92 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:42,680 Speaker 1: my first book, and I had this like hole as 93 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:47,320 Speaker 1: a as a agent at the time, patients hopefully not listening. 94 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:53,479 Speaker 1: He's definitely, he's definitely not listening. So I had this 95 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,640 Speaker 1: agent who was like a little bit he was like 96 00:05:55,760 --> 00:06:00,560 Speaker 1: extremely bombastic and ridiculous and whatever. So he was sort 97 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,520 Speaker 1: of like what I could get because I had a 98 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,520 Speaker 1: referral or whatever, you know, a friend of a friend 99 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:08,080 Speaker 1: and was working with him. In any case, he didn't 100 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:12,040 Speaker 1: even sell the book. I threw a contact sold the book, 101 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 1: and you know, so I got the deal. And then 102 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:16,000 Speaker 1: about a month after the book came out, you know, 103 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:17,919 Speaker 1: I really hustled to get that book out. I'd just 104 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,000 Speaker 1: been featured in the New York Times as on the 105 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:22,080 Speaker 1: cover story of a style section piece, and it was 106 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:23,760 Speaker 1: just like boom, right when the book came out. It 107 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,200 Speaker 1: worked out great. I put myself on a book tour. 108 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:29,680 Speaker 1: I really got out there, and my agent got on 109 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:31,040 Speaker 1: the phone with me like a few weeks after the 110 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:33,479 Speaker 1: book of it out, and he's like, you know, it's 111 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,800 Speaker 1: really hard to sell books. Most people never said more 112 00:06:35,839 --> 00:06:38,440 Speaker 1: than a thousand books in their entire career. And I 113 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:41,279 Speaker 1: was like, okay, why don't you just check BookScan and 114 00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:43,720 Speaker 1: see where we're at. And it was three weeks, so 115 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,640 Speaker 1: three thousand books, you know, And he was like, oh, sorry, 116 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:48,599 Speaker 1: this is really very quite good for the first book. 117 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:54,919 Speaker 1: He was fired. Fired that impersonation alone. If that's what 118 00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:59,160 Speaker 1: it sounded like, I'd fired him just that that was nice. 119 00:06:59,279 --> 00:07:01,800 Speaker 1: That was nice. I don't want to I'll tell you 120 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,080 Speaker 1: offline what he referred to himself as. I don't want 121 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,839 Speaker 1: to give away too much because it's ridiculous. But when 122 00:07:06,839 --> 00:07:08,600 Speaker 1: we're a gun recording, i'll tell you more about him. 123 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:13,120 Speaker 1: Stay tuned, Tony. I have a question about writing your 124 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:14,880 Speaker 1: first book, Like, well, first of all, I have a 125 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:17,920 Speaker 1: question about being a spirit coach. What what does that? 126 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,880 Speaker 1: How did that come about? And what what is that? 127 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:23,920 Speaker 1: For people who I don't I don't think I know 128 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:28,800 Speaker 1: what that is, so I'm curious what that looks like. Yeah, well, 129 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 1: I got sober when I was twenty five, and in 130 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:37,840 Speaker 1: my sober recovery, I reclaimed my spiritual roots. When I 131 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,720 Speaker 1: was a kid, my mom taught me to meditate. I 132 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:44,160 Speaker 1: was brought up visiting ashrams and introduced suppose. Yeah, it's 133 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:48,280 Speaker 1: pretty different, I suppose. And then when I was in 134 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:52,320 Speaker 1: my in my twenties early twenties, I really turned my 135 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:54,920 Speaker 1: back on that and I became kind of addicted to 136 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:57,680 Speaker 1: the outside scene and I started a pr company that 137 00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:01,600 Speaker 1: represented nightclubs, so it's very out the air, and became 138 00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:05,120 Speaker 1: a cocaine addict and was running from a lot of 139 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:09,120 Speaker 1: feelings I didn't want to feel, and that manifested in codependency, 140 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:12,160 Speaker 1: and that manifested in work addiction than it manifested in cocaine. 141 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:14,640 Speaker 1: And thankfully it was cocaine, because it took me to 142 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:17,560 Speaker 1: my knees and I had to make the choice, and 143 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:22,040 Speaker 1: I got myself clean and sober. Getting sober was really 144 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:27,720 Speaker 1: the first step to reclaiming my life, reclaiming my spiritual 145 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:32,320 Speaker 1: foundation and showing up for myself. And therefore this new 146 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,880 Speaker 1: career path that I chose, which was to teach people 147 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:38,959 Speaker 1: of the spiritual principles that I was now living and 148 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:43,880 Speaker 1: and learning and developing. And it was a young audience. 149 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:46,559 Speaker 1: It was, you know, twenty somethings in New York City, 150 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:49,040 Speaker 1: in l A and San Francisco, and I just kind 151 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:52,520 Speaker 1: of go around the country and then to England and 152 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:57,520 Speaker 1: started to just build this new lexicon around spirituality for 153 00:08:57,559 --> 00:09:02,600 Speaker 1: this modern young woman. And fast forward sixteen years, nine 154 00:09:02,679 --> 00:09:05,120 Speaker 1: books and a lot of life behind me and a 155 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:07,800 Speaker 1: lot of teaching behind me. And but I think a 156 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:09,400 Speaker 1: lot I think back to the days when I was 157 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:13,199 Speaker 1: twenty five and my studio apartment coaching women and I'm 158 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:15,320 Speaker 1: getting out on the stage and starting to give talks, 159 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,880 Speaker 1: and it's just a really innocent time. I write about 160 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:19,800 Speaker 1: it a lot actually my new book about where I 161 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:24,240 Speaker 1: was at that time, my struggles, but still all the 162 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:27,839 Speaker 1: beautiful experiences along the way. What do you hear is 163 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:30,240 Speaker 1: kind of like the biggest thing that you hear from 164 00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:36,520 Speaker 1: women that they struggle with. The biggest thing that I 165 00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:43,760 Speaker 1: hear women struggling with is right now, anxiety. Does that 166 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:45,360 Speaker 1: resonate with you guys? I mean it used to be 167 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:49,520 Speaker 1: like my relationships or you know, now it's like severe anxiety. 168 00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:51,839 Speaker 1: I'm seeing a lot of anxiety disorders and seeing a 169 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:54,120 Speaker 1: lot of them just trying to ignore me. You're gonna 170 00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:55,719 Speaker 1: have to edit this, and just trying to record for 171 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:58,000 Speaker 1: you too. Just okay, here we go. You can edit that. 172 00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:00,120 Speaker 1: But I wanted to reward for you too, because I 173 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:03,280 Speaker 1: don't like to not have a backup. I'm hearing a 174 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:06,920 Speaker 1: lot of people really struggling with anxiety, and I think 175 00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:12,960 Speaker 1: that's probably the front runner right now. When prior to COVID, 176 00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:17,440 Speaker 1: a lot of folks were like very much in their 177 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:20,080 Speaker 1: own kind of like what can I get? I want 178 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:21,960 Speaker 1: to you know, I want to feel better, I want 179 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:25,480 Speaker 1: to attract more. And then COVID hit and I think 180 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:27,720 Speaker 1: that really was a blessing for many people because it 181 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:31,319 Speaker 1: allowed them to go deeper. And I say a blessing God. 182 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:33,559 Speaker 1: It was not something that many blessings that came out 183 00:10:33,559 --> 00:10:36,239 Speaker 1: of COVID, but from a spiritual and personal growth perspective, 184 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:39,440 Speaker 1: it cracked us open to go deeper into our own 185 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:44,120 Speaker 1: awareness of who we are, or it numbed us out more. Right. 186 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:45,840 Speaker 1: So it's like two paths you could go on. You 187 00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:49,360 Speaker 1: could crack open more and do deeper work and grow 188 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:52,439 Speaker 1: established a spiritual practice or a therapeutic practice and start 189 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:55,200 Speaker 1: to heal some old stuff, or you could just numb 190 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:59,120 Speaker 1: out more. And I think eventually the numbing out just 191 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,319 Speaker 1: stopped working for lot of people, and so they've been 192 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:03,680 Speaker 1: able to crack open more to what these kinds of 193 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:07,120 Speaker 1: principles could mean to them. Well, and so how do 194 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,839 Speaker 1: you direct them in that anxiety? Like, is there you 195 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:11,480 Speaker 1: know what I mean? Is there a certain path that 196 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:13,360 Speaker 1: you encourage people to take if that if they're really 197 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:18,120 Speaker 1: struggling at the moment with anxiety. The first step to 198 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:22,520 Speaker 1: handling or really the first step to leaning into and 199 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:27,600 Speaker 1: soothing yourself from anxiety and relieving your anxiety is to 200 00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 1: first notice it. Because I believe many people are living 201 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:34,040 Speaker 1: in such a way where they're working so hard to 202 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:37,920 Speaker 1: push past it and avoid it and drink over it 203 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:41,400 Speaker 1: or eat over it, or or get into relationships over 204 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:43,480 Speaker 1: to work over it, and just push, push, push past 205 00:11:43,679 --> 00:11:47,120 Speaker 1: that feeling because it's such an impermissible feeling. And so 206 00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:49,480 Speaker 1: the first step, I believe is to get curious about 207 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:52,920 Speaker 1: it and begin to ask yourself, what do I need 208 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:56,360 Speaker 1: to know about this? What can you reveal to me? 209 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,280 Speaker 1: What do you need anxiety, you know, how can I 210 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:02,840 Speaker 1: help you and back to your anxiety with a lot 211 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:07,120 Speaker 1: of compassion and curiosity. And then there's practices I share 212 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,480 Speaker 1: all throughout my book Happy Days that are all designed 213 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:12,280 Speaker 1: to help you self regulate. So something like a breath 214 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:14,840 Speaker 1: practice where you can notice your anxiety in the moment 215 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:18,240 Speaker 1: and maybe it speaks back to and says I need 216 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:20,679 Speaker 1: to breathe right, And so you could do a breath 217 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:23,600 Speaker 1: practice that's as simple as breathing in for two strokes 218 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,800 Speaker 1: in your nose and one stroke out your mouth. So 219 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:33,400 Speaker 1: it sounds like m yeh. Try that one time, ladies 220 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:35,520 Speaker 1: and see how it feels for you. And when you 221 00:12:35,559 --> 00:12:38,920 Speaker 1: do that, it gives you this beautiful sense of ease 222 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:43,560 Speaker 1: in the moment. And another practice, does it feel Does 223 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:45,640 Speaker 1: it feel good for you? Yeah? I'm so really, I'm 224 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:51,120 Speaker 1: just like calm right now? Right good. I would also 225 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:55,079 Speaker 1: say just even a hearthhold, which is such a valuable tool, 226 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:56,640 Speaker 1: which is putting your hand on your heart, in your 227 00:12:56,679 --> 00:12:59,199 Speaker 1: hand on your belly, and it's either whatever hand in 228 00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:02,000 Speaker 1: your heart feels for you and most soothing for you, 229 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:06,360 Speaker 1: and just breathing deeply and exhaling completely and just being 230 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:09,240 Speaker 1: really focused and connected to your breath while you hold 231 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:15,400 Speaker 1: your heart, and that is extraordinarily soothing for anyone who's 232 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:19,640 Speaker 1: having a moment in a place of anxiety. There's a 233 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:22,600 Speaker 1: lot of tools all throughout Happy Days and in all 234 00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:26,079 Speaker 1: of my books really for how to self soothed, but 235 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:28,679 Speaker 1: particularly in this book, because I started to go into 236 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:32,480 Speaker 1: a lot of the methods for really using allowing your 237 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:35,200 Speaker 1: body to be a device through which you can relax 238 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:37,839 Speaker 1: and settle your system and your internal system and your 239 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:42,040 Speaker 1: nervous system. And damn do people need that right now? 240 00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:47,240 Speaker 1: Do you find when people were talking about anxiety, and 241 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:51,839 Speaker 1: especially during COVID, on top of there being so much 242 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:54,320 Speaker 1: news and there was so much going on in our 243 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:57,880 Speaker 1: world and our country and just in general, there was 244 00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,600 Speaker 1: so much going on, and we were taking in so 245 00:13:59,679 --> 00:14:03,880 Speaker 1: much information for so long, and then on top of that, 246 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:07,880 Speaker 1: everyone turned or so many people turned to social media 247 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:12,040 Speaker 1: for an escape or an out or like entertainment. And 248 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:15,640 Speaker 1: then I almost find that there was this anxiety that 249 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:18,200 Speaker 1: came with the social media and like taking it in 250 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:21,040 Speaker 1: and then trying to keep up with it and all 251 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:23,640 Speaker 1: of that, Like, do you find people are experiencing that? 252 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:27,640 Speaker 1: Because I'm on this trip right now. And I am 253 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:30,520 Speaker 1: um with like a bunch of young TikTokers, like they're 254 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:33,720 Speaker 1: like young, like eighteen ish, and the things that they're 255 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,200 Speaker 1: talking about and what they're experiencing in their life is 256 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:39,040 Speaker 1: so mind blowing to me because I'm thirty three and 257 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:42,920 Speaker 1: I can't imagine navigating what they're navigating right now. And 258 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,200 Speaker 1: I was telling my friend, I was like, this is 259 00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:47,360 Speaker 1: so sad, like there's a lot of sadness in this, 260 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,600 Speaker 1: that this is their experience at such a young age 261 00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:54,360 Speaker 1: of like the comparison and the trying to keep up 262 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:57,800 Speaker 1: all the time. So have you experienced like hearing that 263 00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:01,440 Speaker 1: from people at all at absolutely? And you know, I'm 264 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,960 Speaker 1: a decade older than you, right, and I have I 265 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,920 Speaker 1: have like a deep compassion for you in thirty three, right, 266 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:10,920 Speaker 1: and of course eighteen because I had lunch with my 267 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:15,600 Speaker 1: social media manager. We were in South Carolina for an 268 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:18,480 Speaker 1: event that I was hosting, and she's just started working 269 00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:20,760 Speaker 1: with us, and she's twenty four and she's amazing, Like 270 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:24,400 Speaker 1: she's a genius and like brilliant at TikTok. Right, she 271 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:26,720 Speaker 1: just got for me that once like hit two point 272 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:30,120 Speaker 1: two million views, you know, like like like I'm like, okay, 273 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:35,240 Speaker 1: like keep doing what you're doing. It was my content, 274 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:37,920 Speaker 1: but she just did it right. Of course, there's a 275 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:42,320 Speaker 1: there's a finesse to it, contra present and um and 276 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:45,160 Speaker 1: I'm like nurding out with her, but you know, she's 277 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:48,200 Speaker 1: like we're talking to her and my VP of marketing, 278 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,400 Speaker 1: Daniels a little bit like younger than I maybe thirty 279 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,600 Speaker 1: eight or something. She's like, well, like, what did you 280 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,040 Speaker 1: guys do in college if you didn't have phones? You know, 281 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,600 Speaker 1: I don't have a computer in college, And I was like, 282 00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:04,040 Speaker 1: we talked, We went to parties and hung out, we 283 00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:08,880 Speaker 1: danced like no one was on their phone. I mean, 284 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:10,320 Speaker 1: can you just imagine, you guy? Feel like I can't 285 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:14,920 Speaker 1: even imagine that. Like in college and high school, no 286 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,920 Speaker 1: one was on their phone and we would just sit 287 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:21,000 Speaker 1: in people's apartments in college and just like smoke weed 288 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,640 Speaker 1: and like talk you know what I mean or whatever? Right, 289 00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:26,840 Speaker 1: So it's like it's it's it's it's first of all, 290 00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:29,080 Speaker 1: I'm so grateful personally that I had I could live 291 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:32,440 Speaker 1: that way that I know that is um almost. I 292 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:34,760 Speaker 1: suggested to her to do a no phone party, like 293 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:36,040 Speaker 1: to have a party with their friends and just like 294 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,160 Speaker 1: have no phones there, and first I think they almost 295 00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:40,560 Speaker 1: like explode and like not know what to do with themselves. 296 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,680 Speaker 1: But just like listen to Munich like not on your iPhone, 297 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:46,120 Speaker 1: you know, and um, although I have no idea how 298 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:47,840 Speaker 1: you would even get the music if their pH phone 299 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:51,960 Speaker 1: or um, but it was just, you know, it's just 300 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:55,680 Speaker 1: it is truly heartbreaking to me. And I really really 301 00:16:55,720 --> 00:17:03,920 Speaker 1: really want to give a extreme expression of compassion for this, 302 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:09,760 Speaker 1: this young generation and your generation, for what it means 303 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:13,560 Speaker 1: to live in a world where that human connection is 304 00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:18,199 Speaker 1: less of the priority. And then of course, you know, 305 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:21,159 Speaker 1: being that young and then going through COVID right and 306 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 1: being in high school or college at that time, and 307 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:26,320 Speaker 1: not even being able to experience the semblance of human 308 00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:30,280 Speaker 1: connection that we actually still had, right and so and 309 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:32,960 Speaker 1: and it's very sad. I mean that that I see 310 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:36,360 Speaker 1: these these very bright girls, you know, on on Instagram 311 00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:39,360 Speaker 1: and not even Instagram, on TikTok, and they're super smart 312 00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:41,439 Speaker 1: and they're saying really things, but they're like, you know, 313 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,320 Speaker 1: boobs are everywhere, right, like they just need to be seen. 314 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:46,960 Speaker 1: I think is a big part of you know, what 315 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,639 Speaker 1: I'm what I'm witnessing, And and I think That's a 316 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:52,959 Speaker 1: big reason why I started writing self help books at 317 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:56,680 Speaker 1: such a young age, because I too understood that need 318 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,359 Speaker 1: to be seen, and I had to see myself before 319 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:03,919 Speaker 1: I could truly be seen authentically and genuinely. And so 320 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:05,960 Speaker 1: in the in the writing of these books, I've been 321 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,840 Speaker 1: in this journey of really learning how to truly see 322 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:14,800 Speaker 1: myself and and love myself and respect myself. That doesn't 323 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:17,760 Speaker 1: that's that's even harder now with all of these these 324 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:35,120 Speaker 1: obstacles with social media. You know, I look at your 325 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:38,880 Speaker 1: social media and I and I I am really inspired 326 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:40,600 Speaker 1: by it. I'm really motivated by it. I love the 327 00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:43,520 Speaker 1: way that you live your life and kind of, you know, 328 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:48,000 Speaker 1: I feel like I'm in a little bit of a parallel. Uh, 329 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:51,120 Speaker 1: I'm gonna say mission, but it really resonates with me. Right. 330 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,520 Speaker 1: Are there any moments, because you said, you know, you're 331 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:57,120 Speaker 1: a decade older than we are, have there been any 332 00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:59,359 Speaker 1: moments in life where you something when you feel like 333 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:02,200 Speaker 1: it's either you're losing a little bit of your creativity 334 00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:03,840 Speaker 1: or you feel like you're stuck in a little bit 335 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:06,200 Speaker 1: of a rut. And how do you get yourself out 336 00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:11,560 Speaker 1: of those moments? No, the answer is absolutely not, I 337 00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:16,119 Speaker 1: only become more and more creative. So I've been sober 338 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:19,240 Speaker 1: for sixteen years. In my sobriety, have been on a 339 00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:25,000 Speaker 1: very devoted journey of developing my spiritual connection and most importantly, 340 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:28,800 Speaker 1: feeling free. You know, on the subtitle of my newest book, 341 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:31,680 Speaker 1: Happy Days, it's the guided Path from Trauma to profound 342 00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:34,760 Speaker 1: freedom and inner peace. And there's no faking way I 343 00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:36,720 Speaker 1: would put my face in the cover if I didn't 344 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:39,040 Speaker 1: really mean that, if I didn't live with that. And 345 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:42,240 Speaker 1: so I've done a tremendous amount of personal growth work 346 00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:45,560 Speaker 1: to get to this place where I am really authentic 347 00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:47,960 Speaker 1: and really grounded and really happy with who I am, 348 00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:51,040 Speaker 1: and I wake up without anxiety, and I'm a great mother, 349 00:19:51,119 --> 00:19:53,040 Speaker 1: and I'm a great leader, and I'm a great person 350 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:55,240 Speaker 1: and I can love who I am and what I 351 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,960 Speaker 1: do in the world. And I do say too much, 352 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,359 Speaker 1: but that's okay because I want to get my point cross, 353 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:04,800 Speaker 1: you know, like I just really I'm proud of myself, 354 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:09,320 Speaker 1: and I can say that with authority because I've worked 355 00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:13,760 Speaker 1: really hard to get here, and that in it in effect, 356 00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:19,000 Speaker 1: has created a direct access to creativity and inspiration. Because 357 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:22,680 Speaker 1: we all have a endless flow of creative inspiration that's 358 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,320 Speaker 1: available to us at all times, we just block it. 359 00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:29,280 Speaker 1: And when we do the inner work to release the 360 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:32,520 Speaker 1: blocks to the presence of that inspiration, then it can 361 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:37,239 Speaker 1: just flow. I have a question because I'm I'm like 362 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,960 Speaker 1: talking to you now, and I'm this is the version 363 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,880 Speaker 1: I know of you this far. But you you don't 364 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:45,800 Speaker 1: come across as like a people pleaser. But I imagine 365 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:51,000 Speaker 1: that you probably if you okay, so you never were. Okay, 366 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:53,879 Speaker 1: That's what I was, you know. I I for years 367 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:57,240 Speaker 1: had like very codependent patterns of like even the people 368 00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:58,960 Speaker 1: that worked from me. I was like, let me fix 369 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,600 Speaker 1: everything for you. You know. I was like really off 370 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:07,199 Speaker 1: balance there or many many years, not necessarily like a 371 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:10,600 Speaker 1: people pleaser to the most extreme level in some ways, 372 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,040 Speaker 1: Like if I walked around, you wouldn't think like, oh, 373 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,800 Speaker 1: she's trying to No. I mean it's pretty bad though, 374 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:18,000 Speaker 1: you know, Like I was still very much me, but 375 00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:22,199 Speaker 1: I really wanted people to like me. I really wanted to. 376 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:26,240 Speaker 1: Everybody else was good, like oh that was really rough, 377 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,639 Speaker 1: like like let me, let me make it right for 378 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:33,000 Speaker 1: you kind of bullshit, you know. So my question, I'm curious, 379 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:36,400 Speaker 1: how do you how do you? How did you? Because 380 00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:40,159 Speaker 1: I always get I'm I'm definitely going navigating that, like 381 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:44,880 Speaker 1: trying to be less of a people pleaser, to make 382 00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:48,919 Speaker 1: sure everyone's good around me ahead of myself. But I 383 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:52,000 Speaker 1: always get messages and they're like, how do I get 384 00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:54,480 Speaker 1: out of this mindset? Because when when you're in that 385 00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:56,680 Speaker 1: mindset or you're raised a certain way to be that way, 386 00:21:56,760 --> 00:22:02,000 Speaker 1: how do you let go of that um need to 387 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:05,879 Speaker 1: do that for for your for other people. I guess well, 388 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:08,199 Speaker 1: I think that all these all these ways that we 389 00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:10,760 Speaker 1: describe ourselves, like I'm a people loser, I'm an addict, 390 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,080 Speaker 1: or I'm a workaholic, these are all just parts of 391 00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:17,200 Speaker 1: who we are. It's not who. Yeah, if you got 392 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:19,439 Speaker 1: curious about that part of who you are, let me 393 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:21,280 Speaker 1: just ask you a few questions, like what do you 394 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:23,520 Speaker 1: notice about that part of who you are? Like where 395 00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:25,239 Speaker 1: does it live in your body? Like what does it 396 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:28,480 Speaker 1: feel like? Is there an age or gender? And like 397 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,040 Speaker 1: what do you know about that part of who you are? 398 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:38,240 Speaker 1: It's always there, always, It's a constant yeah, okay, And 399 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:40,240 Speaker 1: and is it does it have an age or gender 400 00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:41,879 Speaker 1: or is like can you see it as as a 401 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:46,359 Speaker 1: part of you? I mean, I think it's just always been. 402 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:50,320 Speaker 1: There's always been that part of me that has you know, 403 00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:53,479 Speaker 1: whether it was doing well in school or doing well 404 00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:57,040 Speaker 1: in sports, it was like and it was I'm recognizing. 405 00:22:57,080 --> 00:23:00,879 Speaker 1: It was always ticket the validation of great job or 406 00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:03,240 Speaker 1: I'm proud of you. You know, it was just it's like, 407 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:05,439 Speaker 1: people pleasing is kind of a selfish thing because what 408 00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:08,359 Speaker 1: you're looking for, like you're doing you're doing it to 409 00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:11,679 Speaker 1: please others, but to get to the full circle of 410 00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:15,040 Speaker 1: getting a good job back to you or like thank you, 411 00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:19,960 Speaker 1: or it's not selfish. People pleasing is a way of 412 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:24,560 Speaker 1: protecting yourself from not feeling good enough. So you please, 413 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,639 Speaker 1: so that you don't have to feel the impermissible feeling 414 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:31,480 Speaker 1: of inadequacy or not being lovable. And that's not a 415 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:33,719 Speaker 1: true feeling, that's just a feeling that you developed as 416 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:36,920 Speaker 1: a child. We all have these different ways of developing 417 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:40,080 Speaker 1: that sense of being unlovable or inadequate, and we build 418 00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:43,159 Speaker 1: up a lot of forms of protection to avoid having 419 00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:46,840 Speaker 1: that feeling ever come forward. In your case, people pleasing. 420 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:50,920 Speaker 1: So what do you if you were to tap into 421 00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:53,399 Speaker 1: that part of you that's people pleasing, what is it need? 422 00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:57,560 Speaker 1: What does it need from you. I think there's a 423 00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:00,919 Speaker 1: need for there, there's like an element of need for 424 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:04,240 Speaker 1: control or something of like being the one who gets 425 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:09,359 Speaker 1: the credit. I guess, yeah, or something. Yeah, I understand 426 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:12,320 Speaker 1: it from that standpoint. But I guess what I'm wondering is, 427 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:18,320 Speaker 1: what is this part of you? What? What would what 428 00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:21,160 Speaker 1: would this people pleaser be doing if she wasn't cheer here? 429 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:24,679 Speaker 1: Whatever it is would wouldn't wasn't working so hard to 430 00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:32,600 Speaker 1: please others? What else would it be doing? Like? What 431 00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:34,920 Speaker 1: would I want it to be doing? Because I don't 432 00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:36,600 Speaker 1: know what it would be doing. I'd want it to 433 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,200 Speaker 1: be more productive in other areas of like work and 434 00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:43,960 Speaker 1: creating and writing. Yeah, And is there a space in 435 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,040 Speaker 1: your life where you create a lot like here on 436 00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:49,320 Speaker 1: the podcast like where are you? I mean, my work 437 00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:54,560 Speaker 1: is all about creating. And do you feel really um 438 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:59,120 Speaker 1: inspired in those moments when you're working. No, I almost 439 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:03,760 Speaker 1: feel like I'm debilitated by the people pleasing part of me. Yeah. 440 00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:05,960 Speaker 1: So what I would suggest for you is to think 441 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,000 Speaker 1: about a time in your life when you were creating 442 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:12,919 Speaker 1: just for fun, really free for you, really inspired and 443 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:17,520 Speaker 1: was just for you nobody else mhm. And then when 444 00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:21,600 Speaker 1: you notice that people pleaser come up for you in 445 00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:25,679 Speaker 1: your mind's ire and a meditation or literally take that 446 00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:30,000 Speaker 1: part of you to that place where you felt free. Mhm. 447 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:31,639 Speaker 1: Was there ever a time in your life where you 448 00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:37,000 Speaker 1: were creating and it wasn't for anybody else, just for you? Yeah? 449 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:44,720 Speaker 1: Can you visualize that? Yeah? What does it look like? Fun? Relaxed? 450 00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:48,520 Speaker 1: They're actually like a place that you're in. Like, was 451 00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:51,400 Speaker 1: it somewhere in your life that you can visualize? Yeah? 452 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:54,040 Speaker 1: I mean it was before you know it was. I 453 00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:58,359 Speaker 1: think now work, My work is creating, which is fun, 454 00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:01,560 Speaker 1: but now there's pressure on it. You know, there's pressure 455 00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,359 Speaker 1: on the same it's the same thing that I love doing. 456 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:08,479 Speaker 1: It's just there's more pressure that comes with it. So 457 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:13,560 Speaker 1: it's creating without pressure. Okay. So I would suggest visualizing 458 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:16,040 Speaker 1: what that looked like and where you were and what 459 00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:20,000 Speaker 1: it felt, and see yourself in that place and then 460 00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:23,640 Speaker 1: invite that part of you, the people pleaser, to join 461 00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:28,400 Speaker 1: you there. Mhm. Might be a lot to understand it first, 462 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:31,479 Speaker 1: but just try it. See what it would look like 463 00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:33,480 Speaker 1: for that part of you to join you in that 464 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:39,919 Speaker 1: place of just free creation. I don't want her there, 465 00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:43,240 Speaker 1: but she's always there. I don't want her to come 466 00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:48,479 Speaker 1: with them with my relaxation, free creativity. So what we're what, 467 00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:50,840 Speaker 1: I'm what I'm getting at, and I'll just explain it 468 00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:52,960 Speaker 1: to you because this is something that with more time 469 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,160 Speaker 1: I would go very deep with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 470 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:57,640 Speaker 1: this feels like a one on one session. We could 471 00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:00,359 Speaker 1: get her there and have her be so happy to 472 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,720 Speaker 1: be there with you. And so the point is is 473 00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:05,000 Speaker 1: that we all have this part of us that is 474 00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:09,200 Speaker 1: very compassionate and calm and courageous and just at ease 475 00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:14,000 Speaker 1: and super cool, and we can help these extreme parts 476 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:19,480 Speaker 1: of us feel less extreme when we help bring a better, softer, 477 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:22,280 Speaker 1: gentler place. And so, you know, the other thing you 478 00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:24,520 Speaker 1: could do is just extend compassion to the people. Please 479 00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,280 Speaker 1: are like, I'm so sorry, you're working so hard. I 480 00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:29,520 Speaker 1: wish we could just relax together to speak to her 481 00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:32,360 Speaker 1: with a lot of compassion. You know, it's really interesting 482 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:36,119 Speaker 1: that you that when you said that you feel um. 483 00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,679 Speaker 1: You just always feel creative because you just let yourself, 484 00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:40,960 Speaker 1: you know, give give yourself that permission to you know, 485 00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:43,760 Speaker 1: you don't feel bogged down, you feel very free. And 486 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:48,000 Speaker 1: it's really interesting because I the other day wasn't therapy, 487 00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,000 Speaker 1: and I was talking about like my therapist was like, 488 00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:52,280 Speaker 1: what do you like to do for fun? Like what 489 00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:53,679 Speaker 1: what do you because I was saying I was like, 490 00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:57,760 Speaker 1: I feel like I always need to be doing something, 491 00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:00,719 Speaker 1: Like I always be being productive or or helping somebody 492 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:02,720 Speaker 1: or you know, go on my to do list or 493 00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:04,840 Speaker 1: on their to do list or with work, and I 494 00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:08,679 Speaker 1: feel like I'm constantly just doing something. And I was 495 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:10,639 Speaker 1: saying that I just love sitting on the couch and 496 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:13,480 Speaker 1: just watching TV. And my therapist was like, how often 497 00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:18,000 Speaker 1: do you do that? And I was like once a 498 00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:21,399 Speaker 1: week if that, like actually sit, you know, sit on 499 00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:24,840 Speaker 1: the couch and watch more than one episode of television. 500 00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:28,800 Speaker 1: And she was like, why don't you let yourself do 501 00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:30,760 Speaker 1: that if you enjoy it? And I was like, I 502 00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:33,960 Speaker 1: don't know, because there's this constant need for me to 503 00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:36,119 Speaker 1: feel like I need to be productive and doing stuff. 504 00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:37,960 Speaker 1: And so now I'm kind of in that phase of 505 00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:40,480 Speaker 1: where I'm trying to understand why I am that way. 506 00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:43,840 Speaker 1: That's the same as Becca. So the both of you 507 00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:47,040 Speaker 1: have we all have protector parts, right, So yours is 508 00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:51,040 Speaker 1: this doer. You got a door. I'm a doer and 509 00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:53,640 Speaker 1: you you're and I'm very familiar with the doer. I'm 510 00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:55,800 Speaker 1: very familiar with the doer. I a lot of doers too. 511 00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:59,840 Speaker 1: And so you're doer is just doing and doing and 512 00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:02,000 Speaker 1: doing and doing, because we all, like I said to 513 00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:04,880 Speaker 1: Tobecca early, we all have these inpermissible feelings of being 514 00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:08,160 Speaker 1: unlovable and inadequate from our own childhood and whatever form 515 00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:11,479 Speaker 1: that came. And we're just doing, and we're producing, and 516 00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:14,360 Speaker 1: we're pupil pleasing and we're controlling, and we're tik talking 517 00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:18,480 Speaker 1: and we're instagramming and we're drinking, and we're doing all 518 00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:22,880 Speaker 1: this stuff to not have to feel that that deeper, 519 00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:26,280 Speaker 1: that deeper feeling. And I write about this a lot 520 00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:28,680 Speaker 1: in this new book, about how we can just start 521 00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:31,400 Speaker 1: to get to know the different parts of ourselves and 522 00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:35,520 Speaker 1: start to use some methods to bring them, to help 523 00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:38,360 Speaker 1: them be less extreme, so that they can actually sit 524 00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:41,880 Speaker 1: on the sofa and just enjoy watching TV. It's so true. 525 00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:44,080 Speaker 1: Like the other day I went to Disneyland. This is 526 00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:47,239 Speaker 1: a very silly example, but it's like it's it's like 527 00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:50,719 Speaker 1: it's me starting to recognize these things about myself. And 528 00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:52,880 Speaker 1: so we went to dizneland and I had a glass 529 00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:54,800 Speaker 1: of wine and I know I get motion sickness, so 530 00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:55,840 Speaker 1: I was like, I don't want to go on an 531 00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:57,560 Speaker 1: your eyes, I'm just gonna chill. And like it was 532 00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:59,719 Speaker 1: team bonding. So I just was there and you know, 533 00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:02,640 Speaker 1: everybody was pressuring me to go on this ride, and 534 00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:04,960 Speaker 1: I was like, I know myself, I'm gonna get sick. 535 00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,120 Speaker 1: I don't want to go on the freaking ride. And 536 00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:09,520 Speaker 1: normally Tanya would just go on the ride, you know, 537 00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:11,840 Speaker 1: team like, let's do it. I'm a do or, let's go. 538 00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:13,480 Speaker 1: And I was like, I just want to sit it out, 539 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:15,640 Speaker 1: and I did, and I felt really freaking good. But 540 00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:18,240 Speaker 1: it's like those little tiny things you don't mean like 541 00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:21,640 Speaker 1: recognizing them and just going with something that feels good 542 00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:26,840 Speaker 1: to to me visualize what it was like to be 543 00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:31,280 Speaker 1: drinking your wine at Disney, chilled out, doing nothing right 544 00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:34,400 Speaker 1: and in those moments when you notice the doers start 545 00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:37,800 Speaker 1: getting like I do sad that you know, just take 546 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:40,560 Speaker 1: a beat and just be like, okay, visualized, invite her 547 00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:43,320 Speaker 1: to sit next to you at Disney and just have 548 00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:47,800 Speaker 1: another glass of wine, right like, like feel into that feeling, 549 00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:51,520 Speaker 1: because this is this is I'm like, I'm literally taking 550 00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:54,239 Speaker 1: a very very big process and trying to simplify it 551 00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:56,000 Speaker 1: for you. So I want to just acknowledge that it's 552 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:58,400 Speaker 1: not going to come overnight like that. But you know, 553 00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:03,160 Speaker 1: we when we start to notice what that sensation is 554 00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:05,360 Speaker 1: within us of what it feels like to do the 555 00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:08,600 Speaker 1: opposite right, and we invite and we invite in that 556 00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:12,800 Speaker 1: visualization even it can start to change the way we 557 00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:17,200 Speaker 1: relate to those extreme parts of ourselves. There's it's it's 558 00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:19,840 Speaker 1: a lot. It's a lot to undo the patterns from 559 00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:24,400 Speaker 1: our past. It takes a commitment. It takes a commitment, 560 00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:29,040 Speaker 1: and that that's actually like this whole journey that I'm 561 00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:32,280 Speaker 1: writing about in Happy Days is the story of getting 562 00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:37,200 Speaker 1: clean and sober, making the commitment to lean into that path, 563 00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:41,800 Speaker 1: and then at thirty six years old, eleven years into 564 00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:47,360 Speaker 1: my sobriety, having a full blown panic meltdown, and then 565 00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:51,400 Speaker 1: days later remembering a traumatic event from my childhood in 566 00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:56,560 Speaker 1: a dream and having this dream that reminded me of 567 00:31:56,560 --> 00:32:00,000 Speaker 1: a dissociated memory that I dissociated from for thirty years, 568 00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:03,960 Speaker 1: and then remembering that that dream of being sexually abused 569 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,320 Speaker 1: as a child, when I woke up and I was like, 570 00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:09,440 Speaker 1: it was very too real to deny. And then I 571 00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:12,360 Speaker 1: eventually accepted the truth of that dream, and then the 572 00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:17,400 Speaker 1: journey that I underwent to really restore my my nervous 573 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:22,360 Speaker 1: system and my brain and my patterns so that I 574 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:28,560 Speaker 1: wasn't being driven by that impermissible terror and rage and 575 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:31,640 Speaker 1: inadequacy and and loveability and all of the things that 576 00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:34,040 Speaker 1: we've been speaking about. And so this is a journey, 577 00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:37,520 Speaker 1: and we all have different wounds. Some are much less 578 00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:39,960 Speaker 1: extreme than what I just described. Sometimes it's just that 579 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:41,400 Speaker 1: you were told you were stupid when you were in 580 00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:44,560 Speaker 1: sixth grade, or that you were you know, like, oh, 581 00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:47,000 Speaker 1: you know, the TikTok girls got more fans than I 582 00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:50,720 Speaker 1: have or whatever. Right, So we have these these these 583 00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:53,520 Speaker 1: things that that are trauma with a big T, trauma 584 00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:56,920 Speaker 1: with a small T, and all of it has an 585 00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:59,320 Speaker 1: effect on us. And that's why we have all these 586 00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:01,840 Speaker 1: ways of running, you know. That's why we have the 587 00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:04,960 Speaker 1: people pleaser, and we have the doer, and we have 588 00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:08,080 Speaker 1: in my case, the cocaine addict and the workaholic, and 589 00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:10,680 Speaker 1: all of the ways that we protect, protect, protect, And 590 00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:13,400 Speaker 1: it's when we become brave enough to be curious about 591 00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:16,479 Speaker 1: those parts of ourselves and start to be guided by 592 00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:18,720 Speaker 1: a book like Happy Days or a therapist or whoever 593 00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:22,280 Speaker 1: it might be. We start to slowly understand more of 594 00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:26,040 Speaker 1: what's happening on our internal system and then become willing 595 00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:29,080 Speaker 1: to be guided to do deeper work on it, because 596 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:32,520 Speaker 1: otherwise you're just going to live your life running. It's 597 00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:34,560 Speaker 1: so true because I think what you're saying, we all 598 00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:38,320 Speaker 1: just kind of we give ourselves this title of you know, 599 00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:41,680 Speaker 1: people pleaser or door or this, and we don't really 600 00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:44,720 Speaker 1: try and understand why we are that way. You know 601 00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:46,000 Speaker 1: what I mean. It takes a lot of work and 602 00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:47,760 Speaker 1: a lot of energy and a lot of effort, and 603 00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:50,120 Speaker 1: so but I do think there's a lot of a 604 00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:54,080 Speaker 1: lot of um peace and clarity that comes with figuring 605 00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,600 Speaker 1: out why we are the way we are. The first 606 00:33:56,680 --> 00:34:01,000 Speaker 1: chapter of this book, I help you understand why you're running, right, 607 00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:04,320 Speaker 1: and then and then and you know the ways that 608 00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:08,239 Speaker 1: you're running, why we run, and then becoming brave enough 609 00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:10,200 Speaker 1: to wonder what might be underneath that. And maybe you're 610 00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:11,719 Speaker 1: not ready to know all of it yet, or maybe 611 00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:13,279 Speaker 1: you do know and just haven't talked about it or 612 00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:16,960 Speaker 1: touched into it. And then the journey of really really 613 00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:22,000 Speaker 1: slowly but surely reprogramming your brain and reprogramming your nervous 614 00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:25,600 Speaker 1: system through practices and restoring the way that you perceive 615 00:34:25,680 --> 00:34:29,320 Speaker 1: yourself and helping yourself get back to a place of safety. 616 00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:32,759 Speaker 1: And a lot of it is through therapeutic practices that 617 00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,759 Speaker 1: I recommend the reader go through and take themselves through 618 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:37,600 Speaker 1: if they feel called. But they can also just get 619 00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:40,440 Speaker 1: on that journey and on that path just through this book. 620 00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:45,000 Speaker 1: And so you know, the video that went viral on TikTok, 621 00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:48,600 Speaker 1: the two point two million views, was about dissociating from 622 00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:55,080 Speaker 1: trauma memories. Okay, the world is ready for this. We'll 623 00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:59,120 Speaker 1: want to know. People want to know how to get 624 00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:17,640 Speaker 1: out of their suffering. Right. The whole concept of the 625 00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:20,440 Speaker 1: things that we do is for is because we want 626 00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:25,760 Speaker 1: to feel adequate. And um scene is a very simple 627 00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:29,200 Speaker 1: yet like my mind's like whoa, that's you can take 628 00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:32,160 Speaker 1: that back to everything we do like that it can 629 00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:36,360 Speaker 1: place my therapist. So that to me, like everyone, underneath 630 00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:37,760 Speaker 1: all of it is that we want to feel adequate 631 00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:40,719 Speaker 1: and lovable. I was like, I feel very adequate and 632 00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:44,160 Speaker 1: very loved. That was my first response. And while I 633 00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:46,560 Speaker 1: build up a world around me that you know, had 634 00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:49,240 Speaker 1: a lot of readers and fans and you know, build 635 00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:52,279 Speaker 1: up a world of adequate and lovable. I didn't feel 636 00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:57,319 Speaker 1: that in the inside. And so you may we may think, oh, 637 00:35:57,400 --> 00:35:59,640 Speaker 1: because I've got this following, or because you have such 638 00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:01,560 Speaker 1: a poppy o their podcasts and you have such a 639 00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:03,640 Speaker 1: you know, fan base and all these things that we 640 00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:07,920 Speaker 1: have all that, but we gotta do it for inner 641 00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:13,480 Speaker 1: children really exiled. Yeah, because there's a lot of like 642 00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:18,040 Speaker 1: surface level uh feeling of love and adequacy and that 643 00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:21,040 Speaker 1: you can like, I think we could all say like 644 00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:23,520 Speaker 1: we feel that to degree, but I do think there's 645 00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:27,399 Speaker 1: something that's way deeper that that gets ignored or isn't 646 00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:31,600 Speaker 1: acknowledged or is pushed to the side because it's complicated 647 00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:36,400 Speaker 1: to deal with. That is seeking to be addressed. Um 648 00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:41,400 Speaker 1: through those things that we do aggressively for are these 649 00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:45,640 Speaker 1: young TikTok girls that you're with. Who the girls that 650 00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:50,160 Speaker 1: you're with right now on this trip? Um? Literally like 651 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:51,840 Speaker 1: what is what? What are they there? What are you 652 00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:55,000 Speaker 1: guys doing? Oh, we're here for um. It's a it's 653 00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:57,240 Speaker 1: like a screening for a new movie The Lost City 654 00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:01,400 Speaker 1: with paramount pictures. So we're all here just kind of 655 00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:04,200 Speaker 1: on a little retreat doing like activities and stuff. But 656 00:37:04,239 --> 00:37:06,720 Speaker 1: we were at dinner last night and I was sitting 657 00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:08,200 Speaker 1: next to some of them, and it was just it 658 00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:12,680 Speaker 1: was really interesting, just the conversation of like, what is 659 00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:17,040 Speaker 1: it like for for you at eighteen navigating this and 660 00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:22,480 Speaker 1: what's their biggest issue right now? Comparison? Huh, I would 661 00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:26,960 Speaker 1: think that comparison and the another girl the other day, 662 00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:29,359 Speaker 1: I was on a set and this girl was talking 663 00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:33,200 Speaker 1: about how it's never enough, like you get a certain 664 00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:35,799 Speaker 1: number of followers and you're like, what, how do I 665 00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:39,320 Speaker 1: get more? There's never this feeling of like feeling settled. 666 00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:42,439 Speaker 1: And she's twenty and she was like, I'm so burnt out. 667 00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:46,719 Speaker 1: And I thought, oh my gosh, this is devastating, Like 668 00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:50,279 Speaker 1: you're you know, there's no fun in it for some 669 00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:54,000 Speaker 1: of them, they're just it's not there's no fun. And 670 00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:59,239 Speaker 1: what they started doing is fun. That's right, that's right. Yeah. Oh, 671 00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:01,680 Speaker 1: I have so much passion for these young women. I 672 00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:08,560 Speaker 1: understand so extreme right now. Yeah, Well my advice to them, 673 00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:12,640 Speaker 1: you can tell them tonight at dinner is too stop 674 00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:19,120 Speaker 1: trying and start having more fun. So seriously, it's it's 675 00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:22,040 Speaker 1: true for all of us pre paralyzed by this feeling 676 00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:24,600 Speaker 1: of we It's almost like you're crippled by that. You 677 00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:26,319 Speaker 1: don't want to just do it because you're like, oh, 678 00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:28,279 Speaker 1: people are gonna make fun of the way I talk 679 00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:29,640 Speaker 1: or the way this or the way of that, and 680 00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:31,239 Speaker 1: it's like, just get to back to a place of 681 00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:35,040 Speaker 1: just doing it for fun. Well, that's actually something I've 682 00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:37,279 Speaker 1: I've really made my mantra in life, which is I 683 00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:40,080 Speaker 1: measure my success based on how much fun I'm having. 684 00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:44,880 Speaker 1: And my company's mission is to help a lot of 685 00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:49,880 Speaker 1: people and have a lot of fun because fun is 686 00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:54,800 Speaker 1: actually the catalyst for everything great that we create. Fun 687 00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:59,200 Speaker 1: is inspiration in my lexicon, it would be in spirit, 688 00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:03,120 Speaker 1: right like adding inspiration move through you. Fun is why 689 00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:05,960 Speaker 1: I can channel these books. Fun is why I don't 690 00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:08,359 Speaker 1: give us what people think for the most part, right 691 00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:12,360 Speaker 1: like fun is is because if I know I'm in 692 00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:16,600 Speaker 1: joy and i know that I'm teaching and speaking from 693 00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:19,239 Speaker 1: a place of joy, that i know I'm doing my 694 00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:24,560 Speaker 1: job for sure. This is so good and so important. 695 00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:26,319 Speaker 1: And actually it's something that I feel like I talked 696 00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:28,439 Speaker 1: to Becca about all the time because for me, like 697 00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:30,480 Speaker 1: and not to get into the weeds of things because 698 00:39:30,520 --> 00:39:33,600 Speaker 1: I think, you know, everybody has jobs and things like that, 699 00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:36,600 Speaker 1: but when you have like people are like, oh, you 700 00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:39,799 Speaker 1: know sometimes people think, oh, podcasts, this is it's work, 701 00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:42,040 Speaker 1: it's this, But I'm like, to me, our podcast is 702 00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:45,719 Speaker 1: fun because we just get to like live our lives 703 00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:49,080 Speaker 1: and and be friends and do life with people and 704 00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:51,360 Speaker 1: have interesting conversations. And it's like I don't want to 705 00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:54,000 Speaker 1: get bogged down in the weeds of like you know 706 00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:56,920 Speaker 1: how much percent we get on this and you know 707 00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:58,520 Speaker 1: this is a bad deal and I don't want to 708 00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:00,080 Speaker 1: do this because it doesn't pay and that it and 709 00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:03,000 Speaker 1: it's like it's not about that, Like this space is 710 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,399 Speaker 1: a space where we did it because it was fun 711 00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:07,080 Speaker 1: for us, and so it's like I always want that 712 00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:10,880 Speaker 1: to be the core of what this is and how 713 00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:13,200 Speaker 1: how we fuel what we do because it's like we 714 00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:15,480 Speaker 1: just want to have fun and learn and just do 715 00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:21,640 Speaker 1: life together totally. So maybe you guys can even ask 716 00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:24,840 Speaker 1: each other, like if there's a deal on the table, 717 00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:29,360 Speaker 1: and you know, even before you decide about negotiating or anything, 718 00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:31,480 Speaker 1: just say like is this fun? Does this feel fun? 719 00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:37,520 Speaker 1: I like that it's a good way of navigating although 720 00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:39,719 Speaker 1: sometimes something might be fun for me, and you're like, 721 00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:42,399 Speaker 1: that sounds horrible, but yeah, that's true, and that does 722 00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:47,400 Speaker 1: come up. Compromise. Compromise for me. I'll take the lead here, 723 00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:51,440 Speaker 1: you know. But I think that that that you're also 724 00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:53,760 Speaker 1: have built, you know, especially when you get your stride 725 00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:56,880 Speaker 1: and you have this career where things are working and 726 00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:59,440 Speaker 1: people want you, and it's it's you know, you're getting 727 00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:02,680 Speaker 1: offers you don't have. You have more of a choice, right, Like, 728 00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:06,160 Speaker 1: let's be real, not everyone can just you know, have 729 00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:09,600 Speaker 1: fun um And I think I think it's important to 730 00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:12,560 Speaker 1: really acknowledge that because like, while I completely agree with 731 00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:14,960 Speaker 1: what Kim Kardashian recently said, I totally agree with her 732 00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:18,160 Speaker 1: like work hard, you have to work all that. I 733 00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:21,040 Speaker 1: think that there's i know, the demographic that she was 734 00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:23,640 Speaker 1: speaking to. She's speaking to you to anyone that's like 735 00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:26,480 Speaker 1: a you know, content creator, probably to those of us 736 00:41:26,520 --> 00:41:29,280 Speaker 1: who have the privilege of doing things that like this, right, 737 00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:31,200 Speaker 1: But then there's a lot of people that are like, 738 00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:34,560 Speaker 1: you know, I don't have the opportunity to work hard, 739 00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:36,680 Speaker 1: or I have to feed my kids, or I have right. 740 00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:40,640 Speaker 1: So we have to really come back to it's not 741 00:41:40,719 --> 00:41:42,840 Speaker 1: that I have to work hard, but working my working 742 00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:47,200 Speaker 1: hard looks very different than yours. Right, So that I 743 00:41:47,239 --> 00:41:50,920 Speaker 1: think that one those of us that have the opportunity 744 00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:53,080 Speaker 1: to do work that we love, we better make sure 745 00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:56,359 Speaker 1: we're loving it out of respect ourselves and to those 746 00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:59,960 Speaker 1: who don't have that opportunity. Right. So, like I don't 747 00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:02,000 Speaker 1: don't get your place yourself to a place where you 748 00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:03,960 Speaker 1: hate what you're doing because you're doing it too hard, right, 749 00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:07,279 Speaker 1: Make it. Make it something that you consistently commit to 750 00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:09,359 Speaker 1: because you have the privilege to be able to do that. 751 00:42:10,239 --> 00:42:14,879 Speaker 1: And then for anyone who's really interested in the key 752 00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:17,200 Speaker 1: to success for women or you know, whoever, whatever, the 753 00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:19,280 Speaker 1: answer to that question that she that she was answering 754 00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:23,440 Speaker 1: or she was going for is truly do the inner work. 755 00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:26,000 Speaker 1: No matter what it is that you do in your career. 756 00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:29,680 Speaker 1: If you don't put your focus and attention and you're 757 00:42:29,719 --> 00:42:34,880 Speaker 1: making your most valuable job going inward to do that 758 00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:37,439 Speaker 1: inner work, then you're never going to have fun doing 759 00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:39,200 Speaker 1: the work that you do. You're never going to have 760 00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:41,120 Speaker 1: in the relationships that you have, You're not going to 761 00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:43,160 Speaker 1: have fun in the parenting that you experience. You're just 762 00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:46,719 Speaker 1: not going to have fun because you are running from 763 00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:49,720 Speaker 1: something that's underneath. It needs to be brought to the surface, 764 00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:53,719 Speaker 1: and that's all of us. So it's interesting because you 765 00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:55,839 Speaker 1: did is It's like it's so different in every walk 766 00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:58,359 Speaker 1: of life and every career. I remember my very first 767 00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:00,040 Speaker 1: job when I was fifteen. I was working as a 768 00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:03,120 Speaker 1: briest at a coffee shop, and I was having this conversation. 769 00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:05,640 Speaker 1: I was like, I was I would thrive and I 770 00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:07,600 Speaker 1: was thriving in that job because I'm a morning person, 771 00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:09,319 Speaker 1: so I loved waking up. I love being a part 772 00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:12,200 Speaker 1: of people's mornings. I would turn the music on really loud, 773 00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:14,359 Speaker 1: I would dance the coffee shop. I would hand people 774 00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:17,959 Speaker 1: their drinks, singing like that was that was like my jam. 775 00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:19,799 Speaker 1: And I had this coworker I think she was she 776 00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:21,480 Speaker 1: was nineteen, so she was older than me, and she 777 00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:24,480 Speaker 1: was miserable, Like every morning she was cranky and she 778 00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:26,759 Speaker 1: just like was like trying to music down and I 779 00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:28,880 Speaker 1: remember having this heart to heart conversation with her and 780 00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:31,759 Speaker 1: she was just like so miserable because she knew she 781 00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:33,359 Speaker 1: wasn't a morning person. So I was like, what are 782 00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:35,640 Speaker 1: you doing working at a freaking coffee shop? Like, go 783 00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:37,920 Speaker 1: work at a club or like, you know what I mean, 784 00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:40,800 Speaker 1: And it was just like weird conversation because I was fifteen, 785 00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:42,440 Speaker 1: so I don't know what the hell I was talking about. 786 00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:46,080 Speaker 1: But she did. She went and started working as a 787 00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:48,680 Speaker 1: as a hostess at a restaurant at nights and was 788 00:43:48,719 --> 00:43:51,200 Speaker 1: just so much happier doing that. And I was like, 789 00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:54,200 Speaker 1: sometimes I feel like we forced things, you know, uh 790 00:43:54,239 --> 00:43:56,080 Speaker 1: that don't feel right to us because we just need 791 00:43:56,120 --> 00:43:58,280 Speaker 1: a job. But it's like you can still find something 792 00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:03,120 Speaker 1: that kind of fits fits you. Yeah, you know. I 793 00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:05,920 Speaker 1: wrote a book called super Attractor and Its Methods for 794 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:10,080 Speaker 1: Manifesting a Life Beyond your Wildest Dreams. And you know, yes, 795 00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:13,560 Speaker 1: it's a book on manifesting, but it's also a book 796 00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:18,080 Speaker 1: on feeling good, right about how to feel good Because 797 00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:22,719 Speaker 1: when you one start to look at the reasons you 798 00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:24,759 Speaker 1: don't feel good and start to address them and to 799 00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:29,560 Speaker 1: when you start to lean into that joy and that fun, 800 00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:32,440 Speaker 1: then you can begin to be what I call a 801 00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:37,200 Speaker 1: super attractor. You start to dwell in a different energy 802 00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:40,879 Speaker 1: and what you were getting back at all times. So 803 00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:45,120 Speaker 1: I imagine you had you had success at that barista, 804 00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:47,680 Speaker 1: at being a barista. Imagine people loved you. Imagine probably 805 00:44:47,719 --> 00:44:49,239 Speaker 1: got good tips. Like I imagine it was like a 806 00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:52,040 Speaker 1: great yeah you're you're saying yes, I want the listener 807 00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:54,520 Speaker 1: to hear you. Yeah, yeah, I got good. Sometimes I 808 00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:59,640 Speaker 1: get twenty dollar bills in that bucket exactly. But that's 809 00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:03,319 Speaker 1: my point. It doesn't matter where you are. If you 810 00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:06,479 Speaker 1: do it with that level of joy and excitement and grace, 811 00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:11,120 Speaker 1: then then it's going to multiply tenfold. I have a 812 00:45:11,239 --> 00:45:14,439 Speaker 1: woman who's been working with me for probably fifteen years, 813 00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:16,759 Speaker 1: but she has a full time, high paid job at 814 00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:19,799 Speaker 1: my company. Really big title will continue to grow with me. 815 00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:24,160 Speaker 1: There's no glass ceiling because you know what, fifteen years ago, 816 00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:28,640 Speaker 1: she was standing in front of a line of hundreds 817 00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:31,759 Speaker 1: of young girls taking twenty dollar bills and setting up 818 00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:34,440 Speaker 1: chairs and letting people into the room because she was 819 00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:36,560 Speaker 1: so devoted to what I was doing. And she spent 820 00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:41,400 Speaker 1: a decade just showing up to everything for free, no 821 00:45:42,680 --> 00:45:45,879 Speaker 1: right there, literally setting up the chairs, helping me with 822 00:45:45,920 --> 00:45:48,399 Speaker 1: my hair in the back of the bathroom, whatever it took. 823 00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:52,400 Speaker 1: And now she is running my membership, you know, my 824 00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:57,120 Speaker 1: my number one content collaborator. Like she's a she's an 825 00:45:57,120 --> 00:46:00,000 Speaker 1: integral part of my business. And I will hope contin 826 00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:02,520 Speaker 1: you to grow and develop her for decades to come. 827 00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:07,520 Speaker 1: And so why because she was living, enjoy doing something 828 00:46:07,560 --> 00:46:09,480 Speaker 1: that she loved and doing it with a really high 829 00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:13,600 Speaker 1: vib attitude. Mh, I love that you have so much wisdom. 830 00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:16,840 Speaker 1: I want everybody listening um to go seriously thank you 831 00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:18,920 Speaker 1: so much for taking the time. We really really really 832 00:46:18,960 --> 00:46:21,799 Speaker 1: appreciate it. And you have so much to offer, so 833 00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:25,359 Speaker 1: much insight and so um you guys, listen to Dear Gabby. 834 00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:29,239 Speaker 1: It's available wherever you listen to podcasts. And then your 835 00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:31,920 Speaker 1: latest book you said, it's Happy Days, it's available now, 836 00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:35,040 Speaker 1: but I mean, while you're there, get get all of 837 00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:40,520 Speaker 1: them stuck up that bookshelf. Baby. Also, where can everyone 838 00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:45,640 Speaker 1: find you? On social media? TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, that Gabby 839 00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:50,000 Speaker 1: Bernstein and then on TikTok, I'm like Gabby Bernstein Official, 840 00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:52,319 Speaker 1: which is so away, but there's somebody took my name, 841 00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:55,520 Speaker 1: so I now have to just be like a lame name. 842 00:46:56,280 --> 00:46:58,600 Speaker 1: It's okay, I'm talking you about eighteen on TikTok. Why 843 00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:02,800 Speaker 1: how lame is that? Whatever? I am a professional TikTok 844 00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:05,000 Speaker 1: are Now go tell those two year old girls to 845 00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:09,640 Speaker 1: follow me because they're gonna it's from me. Yea, honestly, 846 00:47:10,320 --> 00:47:13,480 Speaker 1: I will send them to you. Why don't you know? Seriously, though, 847 00:47:13,520 --> 00:47:15,600 Speaker 1: I want to send any one of those girls that suffering. 848 00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:19,839 Speaker 1: I want to send them copies of of get their 849 00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:22,799 Speaker 1: at their addresses. I want to send them. I think 850 00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:24,680 Speaker 1: they can start with the Universe. As you're back, I'll 851 00:47:24,719 --> 00:47:27,320 Speaker 1: send them a bunch of books. I just want to help. God, 852 00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:30,399 Speaker 1: there's so much suffering. And then there's all these young 853 00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:34,040 Speaker 1: people who are so influential, like yourselves. They have such 854 00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:37,360 Speaker 1: an incredible impact on the world. And so it's my 855 00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:40,480 Speaker 1: mission to do whatever I can to support all these 856 00:47:40,520 --> 00:47:45,360 Speaker 1: these these lovely, amazing content creators to really get grounded 857 00:47:45,440 --> 00:47:47,680 Speaker 1: in their highest truth so that they can show up 858 00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:51,759 Speaker 1: and be a presence of that grace and that joy 859 00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:54,839 Speaker 1: and that fun and make an impact because it has 860 00:47:54,880 --> 00:47:58,080 Speaker 1: a massive ripple effect. For sure, this thing I will 861 00:47:58,120 --> 00:48:00,560 Speaker 1: say tell them to measure their success based on how 862 00:48:00,680 --> 00:48:02,440 Speaker 1: how much fun they're having. They're all listening right now 863 00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:05,640 Speaker 1: on the podcast Number two You Guys do Number two. 864 00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:07,719 Speaker 1: I was going to say that, you know, make your 865 00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:09,960 Speaker 1: inner life your highest priority. That's your big that's your 866 00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:13,640 Speaker 1: number one job, and number three. Know that your presence 867 00:48:13,719 --> 00:48:16,360 Speaker 1: is your power. So it's not how many people are following, 868 00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:19,000 Speaker 1: it's not how many legs you have, it's what you 869 00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:21,600 Speaker 1: show up with. What is the energy that you're putting 870 00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:24,280 Speaker 1: into that TikTok? What is the energy that you're putting 871 00:48:24,280 --> 00:48:28,080 Speaker 1: into that, into this? You know, the the things that 872 00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:31,840 Speaker 1: move the needle, whatever it may be, are things that 873 00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:36,480 Speaker 1: come out of the energy of inspiration and excitement, enjoy 874 00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:39,560 Speaker 1: and fun, and so just focus on your presence first. 875 00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:43,359 Speaker 1: So true, I love thank you so much for taking 876 00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:46,120 Speaker 1: the time to scrub in today. Yeah, we really really 877 00:48:46,160 --> 00:48:49,799 Speaker 1: appreciate it. Thank you so much. That was our conversation 878 00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:51,960 Speaker 1: with Gavin. Yeah, everybody look her up because she's she's 879 00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:54,640 Speaker 1: a great follow. Yeah, I'm curious to read her books. 880 00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:58,919 Speaker 1: I'm definitely very interested in um reading her work. After 881 00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:03,239 Speaker 1: talking to her, Um, we're gonna leave now. But I 882 00:49:03,280 --> 00:49:06,960 Speaker 1: did want to tease that Tanya is participating in March Madness, 883 00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:09,640 Speaker 1: which is just the most unexpected twist of the century. 884 00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:11,840 Speaker 1: You know, I'm not gonna lie. I posted my bracket 885 00:49:11,920 --> 00:49:14,120 Speaker 1: on Instagram and got quite a few d m s 886 00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:18,279 Speaker 1: of people really excited about Oh yeah, yeah, excited and 887 00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:20,439 Speaker 1: we're giving me tips, you know, like us all the way, 888 00:49:20,440 --> 00:49:25,480 Speaker 1: And I was like, is that a tip? Yeah? Okay, 889 00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:28,600 Speaker 1: but I can't because my biggest thing is now incompetition 890 00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:30,880 Speaker 1: with Red Star and he has us A going all 891 00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:32,600 Speaker 1: the way, So I want them to lose. Well, no, 892 00:49:32,719 --> 00:49:34,960 Speaker 1: because you're not competitive, so it wouldn't matter if you 893 00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:40,600 Speaker 1: want to lose. Yeah, so as we can discuss the 894 00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:45,000 Speaker 1: march madness um next podcast. Arizona, you're alma mater, who 895 00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:48,440 Speaker 1: I'm assuming you picked the plaything tonight. You would be correct. 896 00:49:48,480 --> 00:49:51,920 Speaker 1: I picked them to go all the way. I picked 897 00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:54,560 Speaker 1: Kentucky to go all the way too into the finals 898 00:49:54,719 --> 00:49:57,440 Speaker 1: against Arizona and they lost the first round, so that 899 00:49:57,520 --> 00:50:02,440 Speaker 1: really screwed my bracket. Listen to you, there are such 900 00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:04,799 Speaker 1: a sports girl. I'm not, though, but like now that 901 00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:07,359 Speaker 1: I have something tied to the games, now I'm way 902 00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:11,239 Speaker 1: more into it. Like I'm watching the games hoping the 903 00:50:11,280 --> 00:50:16,200 Speaker 1: team that I picked wins even though I have nothing 904 00:50:16,239 --> 00:50:18,640 Speaker 1: InvesTT And then don't forget that women's basketball is also 905 00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:21,839 Speaker 1: starting to Yeah, please don't a bracket for that though, 906 00:50:21,880 --> 00:50:24,719 Speaker 1: like you did last year. You did. Yeah, yeah, you're 907 00:50:24,760 --> 00:50:27,799 Speaker 1: all about women's women's basketball. Last night Now, I know 908 00:50:27,880 --> 00:50:29,879 Speaker 1: I'm not really all in on the men's but I'm 909 00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:32,440 Speaker 1: just got this bracket kick. Yeah I didn't get a 910 00:50:32,440 --> 00:50:35,000 Speaker 1: bracket hick for the women's. Maybe start that up the 911 00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:38,439 Speaker 1: ladies this weekend. Brint it out and fill it out, 912 00:50:38,480 --> 00:50:40,560 Speaker 1: and just don't look at who won over the weekend 913 00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:43,960 Speaker 1: last weekend because you wouldn't know anywhere. Thank you. I 914 00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:46,440 Speaker 1: will do it too late, all right, Well that'll be 915 00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:50,160 Speaker 1: next week, so don't miss that. You might think you're 916 00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:54,920 Speaker 1: listening to NBA radio, but you're not. This is your 917 00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:59,080 Speaker 1: tried in truth, scrubbing in correct, switching gears, trying to 918 00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:02,680 Speaker 1: win people's choice word again, but they were coming for you. 919 00:51:02,840 --> 00:51:06,000 Speaker 1: Or to two, sorry to two. That's what we're already 920 00:51:06,040 --> 00:51:09,279 Speaker 1: counting us out this year. All right, we have a 921 00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:14,279 Speaker 1: great weekend. We love you, and that'll be all. Love 922 00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:14,640 Speaker 1: you by