WEBVTT - Candid Convo: Tori Taylor: Planning Her Pivot 0:00:05.600 --> 0:00:09.280 Welcome to She Pivots. I'm your host to Emily Tish Sussman. 0:00:10.039 --> 0:00:12.440 One of my goals in starting this podcast is to 0:00:12.520 --> 0:00:15.040 highlight voices and stories of women who went through something 0:00:15.080 --> 0:00:18.000 deeply personal, only to come out of it on the 0:00:18.040 --> 0:00:22.120 other side better than they could have imagined. After launching 0:00:22.160 --> 0:00:24.840 She Pivots last year, it's clear it's not a small group. 0:00:25.000 --> 0:00:28.440 This applies to most women, whether it's a big pivot 0:00:28.920 --> 0:00:31.880 or even just a tiny pivot. What's clear is there's 0:00:31.920 --> 0:00:35.040 still a lot of unpacking to do around pivoting. So 0:00:35.240 --> 0:00:38.160 as we're continuing to build this platform and community through 0:00:38.280 --> 0:00:41.880 new episodes, I wanted to also bring you more stories, 0:00:42.000 --> 0:00:46.040 unfiltered and honest. So I'll be sitting down with more women, 0:00:46.479 --> 0:00:50.120 maybe the occasional man, some of whom have mastered their 0:00:50.120 --> 0:00:53.959 own pivot, some are just starting the pivoting journey. Are 0:00:54.000 --> 0:00:56.400 some just have something to teach us about the deeply 0:00:56.480 --> 0:00:59.720 personal moments of life. So stay tuned for more of 0:00:59.760 --> 0:01:06.199 these candid conversations this season. Let's jump right in, Okay, 0:01:06.600 --> 0:01:13.720 Tory Taylor, political strategist, genius, former executive director of Swing Left, 0:01:13.959 --> 0:01:16.640 one of the best people you will ever meet in politics. 0:01:17.319 --> 0:01:19.400 Thank you for joining this interview in my hotel room. 0:01:19.959 --> 0:01:20.680 Thank you so much. 0:01:20.760 --> 0:01:22.600 I'm going to use all of those lines as like 0:01:22.640 --> 0:01:25.760 the opening like bio for my LinkedIn and like maybe 0:01:25.760 --> 0:01:28.200 my Twitter bio especially like the best person you'll ever meet. 0:01:30.520 --> 0:01:34.080 Yeah, that was the best intro I've ever gotten. This 0:01:34.120 --> 0:01:37.920 is part of your illustrious podcasting career. Yeah, you hosted 0:01:37.920 --> 0:01:41.120 a show and I loved and you came up with 0:01:41.160 --> 0:01:42.520 the title for my political show. 0:01:43.480 --> 0:01:44.679 Oh is that right? 0:01:44.880 --> 0:01:45.080 Yes? 0:01:45.319 --> 0:01:45.920 Is that right? 0:01:46.280 --> 0:01:46.480 Yeah? 0:01:46.760 --> 0:01:48.800 Oh, how fun came up. 0:01:48.720 --> 0:01:53.520 With your political playlist. I mean it was like a playlist. 0:01:53.720 --> 0:01:56.720 It was Wow, what a clever name. It's had so 0:01:56.800 --> 0:01:59.680 many meetings. It was so good. Yeah. I love that. 0:01:59.800 --> 0:02:03.400 I love that. I totally forgot that. Does that genius 0:02:03.440 --> 0:02:05.000 just emanate from you at all times? 0:02:05.360 --> 0:02:08.600 I like to think, So you brought it to politics, Yeah, 0:02:08.760 --> 0:02:11.000 then you've brought it to podcasts. 0:02:10.440 --> 0:02:15.400 Yeah, and then back to politics. Yeah. Yeah. Basically yeah, 0:02:15.720 --> 0:02:19.280 I'm like a two trip pony. That's it. 0:02:21.200 --> 0:02:24.360 You're like puns in every field. I know, I'll have 0:02:24.440 --> 0:02:25.800 to think of like the next thing I want to 0:02:25.800 --> 0:02:28.160 bring genius to. But also I don't want to stretch 0:02:28.160 --> 0:02:29.679 it out too much, you know, it's like, do a 0:02:29.720 --> 0:02:32.360 couple of things really well, but if like you know, 0:02:32.400 --> 0:02:33.920 if you spread it out too much, then you just 0:02:33.919 --> 0:02:35.600 start being bad at all of them. You know. 0:02:36.000 --> 0:02:39.239 Do you remember any of your other good podcast namings? 0:02:39.800 --> 0:02:43.440 Oh? Man, I don't know if I like named any others. 0:02:43.520 --> 0:02:46.040 I definitely thought of lots of names and had lots 0:02:46.080 --> 0:02:48.400 of ideas for other podcasts, but like they mostly just 0:02:48.400 --> 0:02:49.920 stayed in my head, like. 0:02:49.919 --> 0:02:51.200 This is your moment, let's hear them. 0:02:51.240 --> 0:02:53.680 I feel like every friend that I've had that I've 0:02:53.680 --> 0:02:57.120 ever had like an interesting conversation with, like beginning like 0:02:57.160 --> 0:02:58.320 five or six years ago, like. 0:02:58.240 --> 0:03:00.520 Oh, we should start a podcast because we'reus. 0:03:00.680 --> 0:03:03.840 Like we could call it like Torri and Susan talk 0:03:03.880 --> 0:03:07.400 about the news or whatever. But like, I don't think 0:03:07.440 --> 0:03:09.040 any of those were very good. I think it was 0:03:09.080 --> 0:03:11.360 just like we think we're so funny and the masses 0:03:11.360 --> 0:03:16.040 would want to hear this conversation, which also is like, 0:03:16.080 --> 0:03:19.639 you know, low key narcissistic. That's about I love that 0:03:19.720 --> 0:03:21.440 I'm saying and a recording things. 0:03:21.520 --> 0:03:25.240 So this era of narcissism, like it's not even like 0:03:25.360 --> 0:03:30.040 the selfie Instagram, like look what a great influencer I am, 0:03:30.240 --> 0:03:35.440 Like people would find me hilarious. 0:03:36.080 --> 0:03:37.160 Fry of the world of this. 0:03:37.240 --> 0:03:40.160 Oh, I mean that's literally what this podcast is right now? 0:03:40.240 --> 0:03:43.360 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I feel like I feel 0:03:43.360 --> 0:03:46.120 like this, like people will either find this very like endearing, 0:03:46.240 --> 0:03:49.720 like oh, how cute, or be like wow, what a tool. 0:03:51.560 --> 0:03:53.200 So I guess we'll see they're going to be like. 0:03:53.200 --> 0:03:55.520 Did these two girls used to talk about politics? I 0:03:55.600 --> 0:03:57.760 didn't talk about policy. We don't even believe that. 0:03:57.920 --> 0:03:59.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah no. 0:03:59.440 --> 0:04:02.400 But you know, whenever you're talking to friends and like 0:04:02.440 --> 0:04:04.760 you guys get going and like the little groove and 0:04:05.120 --> 0:04:08.400 you're bantering and like one joke leads to another and 0:04:08.440 --> 0:04:10.560 like you're laughing, and then all of a sudden, like wow, 0:04:10.560 --> 0:04:12.200 that was like a killer ten minute segment. 0:04:12.960 --> 0:04:15.839 You know, we could even put an ad break in here. 0:04:15.880 --> 0:04:17.880 It was so good, I know, I know. And now 0:04:17.960 --> 0:04:22.160 moving on to these pants. Now, these pants they're so comfortable, 0:04:22.160 --> 0:04:23.720 I'll wear them all the time. Well you can get 0:04:23.720 --> 0:04:26.320 this ten percent discount code. It really was the sponsor 0:04:26.360 --> 0:04:28.480 that you had on your podcast was yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:04:28.520 --> 0:04:28.800 I was. 0:04:28.839 --> 0:04:31.279 I was circling back, which I so aware Beta brand 0:04:32.520 --> 0:04:36.280 sponsored me again, what's a sponsor? 0:04:36.320 --> 0:04:39.160 Always a sponsor you're in so deep. You're good. They 0:04:39.160 --> 0:04:41.680 got you for life, I know. Okay, So, Tori, when I. 0:04:41.640 --> 0:04:43.479 Had the idea of doing this, when I was coming 0:04:43.520 --> 0:04:45.719 down to DC in person to have an episode with 0:04:45.800 --> 0:04:47.680 you on yeah, it is because you were one of 0:04:47.720 --> 0:04:51.599 the people that I've known the longest in politics, yeah, 0:04:51.640 --> 0:04:52.520 which is crazy. 0:04:52.800 --> 0:04:53.000 Yeah. 0:04:53.240 --> 0:04:57.160 And you were a wee baby politico in infant and 0:04:57.360 --> 0:04:58.640 infinite when. 0:04:58.480 --> 0:05:02.040 We had because you were the head of the College Democrats. Yeah, 0:05:02.120 --> 0:05:04.479 as an infant, as an infant yeah. And I was 0:05:04.480 --> 0:05:06.599 the head of the Young Democrats of America. Yeah. 0:05:06.640 --> 0:05:10.440 And then the organizations were at war, of course, naturally, 0:05:10.480 --> 0:05:12.599 why would not anything in the Democratic Party not be 0:05:12.640 --> 0:05:13.680 at war entirely? 0:05:14.160 --> 0:05:18.040 And then you became the head of the youth engagement 0:05:18.120 --> 0:05:22.360 at the convention, that's right. Yeah, so our power dynamic, 0:05:22.720 --> 0:05:26.080 Like you really had the upper hand very quickly. Oh wow, 0:05:26.120 --> 0:05:28.200 I never thought of it like that. Oh I definitely did. 0:05:28.320 --> 0:05:31.160 Oh did you really? Oh my god, Oh she's in. 0:05:31.080 --> 0:05:34.240 College, but now she holds all of my faith And 0:05:34.320 --> 0:05:36.080 you really handled that howard beautifully. 0:05:36.320 --> 0:05:37.400 Oh, thank you so much. 0:05:37.480 --> 0:05:39.080 I think I was like, I don't know that I 0:05:39.160 --> 0:05:42.080 fully knew that I had it all so that probably helped. 0:05:43.520 --> 0:05:45.320 When you don't know how much power you're wielding. 0:05:45.440 --> 0:05:47.599 But yeah, I mean I was like a baby, I 0:05:47.640 --> 0:05:50.840 mean like twenty, but yeah, in my mind, a baby. 0:05:51.000 --> 0:05:54.360 You handled yourself very professionally. Thank you, thank you. Well. 0:05:54.400 --> 0:05:56.919 I was like, that was one of my first like 0:05:57.000 --> 0:06:00.320 real jobs, that convention job, and because before I had 0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:03.599 just been doing like student organizing and I was in college, 0:06:03.680 --> 0:06:05.960 and so I feel like every time I went to 0:06:06.000 --> 0:06:08.080 that job, I was like, oh God, they're gonna realize 0:06:08.080 --> 0:06:09.960 that I'm a child, and they're not gonna let me 0:06:09.960 --> 0:06:10.799 have this job anymore. 0:06:10.800 --> 0:06:13.880 So I was always on like my best foot forward. Well, 0:06:13.880 --> 0:06:16.080 I remember you. I remember sitting in a meeting with you. 0:06:16.360 --> 0:06:17.760 Maybe it was at the convention, but it was like 0:06:17.800 --> 0:06:19.520 a tense meeting and you were running it and you 0:06:19.560 --> 0:06:23.040 handled the pressure very well. Wow, I held an awkward conversation. 0:06:23.440 --> 0:06:25.960 Shout out to twenty year old toy, we love her, 0:06:26.160 --> 0:06:26.720 we love her. 0:06:27.760 --> 0:06:29.919 So then after that, so after the convention, I actually 0:06:29.960 --> 0:06:31.279 don't know what you did after that, But then a 0:06:31.279 --> 0:06:33.719 few years, like a few jobs into it, I was 0:06:33.760 --> 0:06:34.240 able to. 0:06:34.240 --> 0:06:36.960 Recruit you over to work on my team. Yeah. 0:06:37.080 --> 0:06:39.719 Yeah, at Center for American Progress, Yeah, which was a 0:06:39.760 --> 0:06:42.559 real highlight for which was only like three years later, 0:06:43.160 --> 0:06:45.839 which that feels like it was like ten years later, 0:06:45.920 --> 0:06:48.680 but it wasn't that long after that. Well, you were 0:06:48.720 --> 0:06:50.680 already I remember when you came over, you were on 0:06:50.720 --> 0:06:54.240 a list of rising stars in Washington, because I was like, oh, 0:06:54.400 --> 0:06:57.679 did you guys see the get who's coming to my team? 0:06:58.080 --> 0:06:59.680 She is a rising star? 0:07:00.520 --> 0:07:03.719 Yeah, yeah, I remember that she had no impression in 0:07:03.760 --> 0:07:04.640 those three years. 0:07:05.000 --> 0:07:09.040 Yeah. Yeah, that was a a meteoric rise for baby toy. 0:07:09.160 --> 0:07:11.120 She became like a toddler and then like a rising 0:07:11.200 --> 0:07:14.080 star and then just like a regular adult. Like so 0:07:14.320 --> 0:07:16.840 there's like that window where if like you're just young enough, 0:07:16.880 --> 0:07:18.600 everyone's like, oh my god, it's so cool to have 0:07:18.680 --> 0:07:20.960 like young people in the room, like what a wonder kid. 0:07:21.200 --> 0:07:23.200 And then you like reach like twenty five or twenty six, 0:07:23.240 --> 0:07:24.840 and I'm like, okay, you're just like everybody else. 0:07:25.920 --> 0:07:28.240 Like, wow, go do your job. It's nothing special. Now 0:07:28.240 --> 0:07:30.240 it's time to do your job. Yeah, yeah, nothing special. 0:07:30.440 --> 0:07:32.920 So I appreciated the years where I was special. 0:07:33.200 --> 0:07:36.080 Well, I remember feeling like I could not believe that 0:07:36.120 --> 0:07:38.360 I had I was so happy that I had recruited 0:07:38.360 --> 0:07:39.480 you over because I was like I get to hang 0:07:39.520 --> 0:07:39.760 out with. 0:07:39.760 --> 0:07:42.120 Toy every day. Oh, that's so funny. 0:07:42.200 --> 0:07:46.280 And that era lasted less long than I would have 0:07:46.400 --> 0:07:48.600 liked it too, of us actually working together. 0:07:48.720 --> 0:07:52.760 I know. Do you remember that conversation? Yeah, yeah, that 0:07:53.000 --> 0:07:54.560 Hillary Clinton sucked me away. 0:07:54.800 --> 0:07:57.120 You did it tactfully when you came to me and 0:07:57.160 --> 0:08:00.720 you said there's only one job that I would leave 0:08:00.800 --> 0:08:01.520 this job for. 0:08:01.800 --> 0:08:05.160 Yeah, and they just offered it to me. I know, 0:08:05.520 --> 0:08:08.080 I know, I remember that, Like I remember like being in. 0:08:08.040 --> 0:08:10.520 The office having that conversation, because like I remember going 0:08:10.560 --> 0:08:13.800 into those interviews. One I'm obviously obsessed with Hillary Clinton 0:08:13.840 --> 0:08:16.520 and always had been, but I was like, oh, there's 0:08:16.520 --> 0:08:19.080 really like only like a couple of jobs that would 0:08:19.080 --> 0:08:21.480 makes sense for me to leave for. And then I 0:08:21.480 --> 0:08:23.680 get on the phone they offered me that exact job. 0:08:23.720 --> 0:08:24.920 I'm like, Okay, well. 0:08:26.000 --> 0:08:29.200 Look at God, Look at God. Who am I to 0:08:29.280 --> 0:08:31.880 argue with this? Yeah? Yeah, it feels like destiny. 0:08:32.760 --> 0:08:34.600 And it was also just like I feel like Emily 0:08:34.640 --> 0:08:36.680 won't be mad at me for going to try to 0:08:36.720 --> 0:08:39.120 elect the first female president. You know. 0:08:39.760 --> 0:08:43.360 That was like, you know, you're you make a good argument. 0:08:43.280 --> 0:08:46.200 You know. It was just like for anyone in anyone 0:08:46.280 --> 0:08:48.720 but Hillary Clinton. It might have been a problem, but 0:08:48.760 --> 0:08:53.360 it's just like, okay, well, you know, first female president, Okay, whatever. 0:08:54.000 --> 0:08:57.880 Well, I can't remember how much I communicated to you 0:08:57.960 --> 0:08:59.760 about this at the time because I was so insecure 0:08:59.800 --> 0:09:03.440 about it. But I had just gotten married and immediately 0:09:03.480 --> 0:09:06.320 gotten pregnant, so I knew that I wasn't going to 0:09:06.320 --> 0:09:08.480 be able to go work on the campaign, even though. 0:09:08.360 --> 0:09:09.600 That had been my dream. 0:09:10.440 --> 0:09:11.920 But I knew it wasn't going to be an option 0:09:12.000 --> 0:09:14.880 for me, and you got basically the best job I 0:09:14.880 --> 0:09:18.280 could have imagined, Like I hadn't necessarily put myself out there, 0:09:18.320 --> 0:09:19.360 but also nobody had. 0:09:19.200 --> 0:09:20.000 Called me for it. 0:09:20.520 --> 0:09:24.640 So I was happy for you, but also jealous that 0:09:25.000 --> 0:09:25.840 you were one. 0:09:25.880 --> 0:09:28.200 Offered the job and two able to take it. 0:09:28.520 --> 0:09:31.559 Yeah, I want I never even knew that you were jealous. 0:09:31.760 --> 0:09:33.440 I you know, it was really I was going to 0:09:33.440 --> 0:09:36.160 represent us both. It was like us as a Unich going, 0:09:36.360 --> 0:09:38.800 well you always you know, if you can then I will, 0:09:39.080 --> 0:09:42.760 you know, right, Yeah, it was it was me why, 0:09:42.760 --> 0:09:46.040 I like, it was so special because my the first 0:09:46.040 --> 0:09:47.840 thing a man I ever worked on was Hillary Clinton's 0:09:47.840 --> 0:09:49.400 and Jy and eight, and I was like the first 0:09:49.400 --> 0:09:51.640 time I ever got involve in politics. So there was 0:09:51.679 --> 0:09:56.040 like this like sentimental, like full circle moment about it. 0:09:56.040 --> 0:09:58.000 It's like, oh, I like started as an intern in 0:09:58.000 --> 0:09:59.200 two thousand and eight, and now I'm going to go 0:09:59.240 --> 0:10:02.520 be dead the women Vote director in headquarters. 0:10:03.960 --> 0:10:06.080 It was really cute. Yeah, me and my grandmother talked 0:10:06.080 --> 0:10:09.240 about it a lot. I absuper shooting. I know, I 0:10:09.280 --> 0:10:11.400 know I had the baby. I remember I. 0:10:11.440 --> 0:10:14.559 Brought him to visit you in headquarters and in Brooklyn. 0:10:15.600 --> 0:10:16.319 Yeah, took him. 0:10:16.400 --> 0:10:19.559 Yeah, because I'm obsessed with children and babies in particular, 0:10:19.640 --> 0:10:21.959 Like I love babies, and you brought the baby to 0:10:22.040 --> 0:10:25.520 headquarters Dean, which is crazy to even think about Dean 0:10:25.559 --> 0:10:28.240 as a baby now, but I remember, like you gave 0:10:28.320 --> 0:10:29.800 him to me, and I just kind of like trotted 0:10:29.920 --> 0:10:30.800 off and I. 0:10:30.840 --> 0:10:33.319 Was thrilled because I wasn't sure that I was taking 0:10:33.360 --> 0:10:34.240 care of him correctly. 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:37.160 Yeah. Yeah, Geori feels more confident than I do with 0:10:37.240 --> 0:10:38.560 this four week old. 0:10:38.640 --> 0:10:40.280 I think he was literally three to four weeks old. 0:10:40.280 --> 0:10:42.080 I was in my head, Yeah, I was looking back 0:10:42.120 --> 0:10:43.959 to my pictures. He was like four weeks old. 0:10:44.480 --> 0:10:46.880 I have this like screenshot. 0:10:46.960 --> 0:10:48.680 I think it was like maybe you took it on 0:10:48.760 --> 0:10:52.120 snapchat or something and sent it later. But it was 0:10:52.160 --> 0:10:55.120 like a screenshot of like me holding Dean in a 0:10:55.320 --> 0:10:57.640 very far away part of the office, and like the 0:10:57.720 --> 0:11:02.120 caption was just like Tory ran away with I was like, 0:11:02.240 --> 0:11:06.200 there goes touring with my child something like that. And 0:11:06.240 --> 0:11:08.640 so that's the only like photographic evidence I have of 0:11:08.720 --> 0:11:11.280 him been in the office. Is me somewhere in a corner, 0:11:11.400 --> 0:11:12.920 like low key kidnapping him. 0:11:13.640 --> 0:11:18.439 Just a very small granulated dot representing the presential campaign. 0:11:18.440 --> 0:11:20.520 Well at the time, kidnapping children. 0:11:21.559 --> 0:11:24.800 Well that's actually also probably was representing the campaign well 0:11:24.880 --> 0:11:28.000 because on that same trip, HRC was in the city 0:11:28.080 --> 0:11:30.360 and in my mom's building, and my mom was like, oh, 0:11:30.440 --> 0:11:31.200 let's bring Dean. 0:11:31.760 --> 0:11:32.560 What was she thinking? 0:11:32.960 --> 0:11:36.360 So we actually went over to that event, and because 0:11:36.400 --> 0:11:38.960 she loves babies, she was like, oh, look at this 0:11:39.000 --> 0:11:42.080 cute little baby. And then the next day or I 0:11:42.120 --> 0:11:44.960 think that day was the day that she fell down. 0:11:45.480 --> 0:11:47.840 Oh I don't know that she had the flu. 0:11:48.400 --> 0:11:50.800 Oh yes, I remember this now, and we were like, 0:11:50.880 --> 0:11:53.520 let's never show this photographic evidence that she may have 0:11:53.559 --> 0:11:55.880 given a pre vaccinated baby at the flu. 0:11:56.520 --> 0:11:56.720 Oh. 0:11:56.880 --> 0:11:58.959 I was actually liked, Dean give her the. 0:11:58.920 --> 0:12:03.439 Fluor oh, no, no, no, no, no. 0:12:03.160 --> 0:12:07.079 No no, that's not a story. That's not a story. 0:12:07.360 --> 0:12:09.720 But I do feel like that was the beginning. Like 0:12:09.760 --> 0:12:12.600 I've talked about this a lot, especially in this podcast, 0:12:12.679 --> 0:12:14.200 but like that was kind of like the beginning of 0:12:14.240 --> 0:12:17.520 the end of my downward trajectory of my political career, 0:12:17.679 --> 0:12:19.160 like of all the things that I thought I was 0:12:19.200 --> 0:12:22.600 working towards. Yeah, you and I both know, like living 0:12:22.679 --> 0:12:24.800 and working in this political world that like you live 0:12:24.800 --> 0:12:27.160 in a two year cycle a congressional cycle, and you 0:12:27.200 --> 0:12:29.320 live in a four year cycle of presidential cycle. So 0:12:29.400 --> 0:12:32.000 like every job you take, you're like thinking about how 0:12:32.000 --> 0:12:33.520 long am I going to be in it before I 0:12:33.520 --> 0:12:35.840 can get back on a campaign, because that's what really 0:12:35.920 --> 0:12:38.120 drives me, and how am I going to be positioned 0:12:38.120 --> 0:12:39.439 for it? And like what am I lacking that I 0:12:39.440 --> 0:12:42.640 could then build myself into potentially for the next job, 0:12:42.679 --> 0:12:44.160 And like that was the beginning of the end for 0:12:44.240 --> 0:12:46.880 me that like I couldn't be in the mix, I 0:12:46.880 --> 0:12:47.800 couldn't be in the cycle. 0:12:47.880 --> 0:12:49.080 But you have done it. 0:12:49.440 --> 0:12:51.840 Yeah, I mean, honestly, when you think about it, like 0:12:51.880 --> 0:12:54.880 the sector is like so brutal, especially you know, I 0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:57.760 think also being in a city like Washington, d C. 0:12:58.679 --> 0:13:01.560 I mean the comparison cycle. You just can't escape it. 0:13:01.800 --> 0:13:03.920 Like, what do you mean the comparison cycle, Like you know, 0:13:04.000 --> 0:13:08.240 because so many people who I think enter political careers, 0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:11.679 whether it's like an advocacy or campaigns. It's like you said, 0:13:11.679 --> 0:13:15.520 it's like it's just a constant, you know, seemingly ladder 0:13:15.640 --> 0:13:19.200 to different things or like a jungle gem, always like 0:13:19.200 --> 0:13:22.600 switching jobs or like having that cyclical nature. And I 0:13:22.640 --> 0:13:25.160 think it's really hard to like be in such a 0:13:25.240 --> 0:13:28.760 like a condensed ecosystem like DC where everyone has jobs 0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:31.439 like that, Like your social circle is probably people who 0:13:31.480 --> 0:13:32.480 also have jobs like that. 0:13:32.640 --> 0:13:33.400 And I just. 0:13:33.360 --> 0:13:36.280 Feel like it's impossible to like not compare your journey 0:13:36.320 --> 0:13:39.440 with your friends or like coworkers or like anyone that 0:13:39.480 --> 0:13:39.920 you meet. 0:13:40.040 --> 0:13:42.400 And I think that's just it's really hard. 0:13:42.600 --> 0:13:46.280 And I think especially if you're making a pivot or 0:13:46.320 --> 0:13:49.680 like a transition out of that into like a different 0:13:49.760 --> 0:13:52.840 chapter or a different era, I think it's really hard 0:13:52.840 --> 0:13:55.319 to make that transition like while you're still like in 0:13:55.360 --> 0:13:57.720 the minutia of like a city where people are so 0:13:57.760 --> 0:13:59.160 obsessive about stuff like that. 0:14:00.000 --> 0:14:00.719 Totally agree with you. 0:14:00.760 --> 0:14:02.600 I mean, I was at the White House yesterday for 0:14:02.679 --> 0:14:05.520 this Women's History Month reception, And it was so interesting 0:14:05.559 --> 0:14:07.360 because there were obviously a lot of people that I 0:14:07.440 --> 0:14:09.840 know are in and out of the administration, and some 0:14:09.960 --> 0:14:13.560 that I don't know. And as friends were introducing me 0:14:13.679 --> 0:14:16.360 to people who were in the admin who I didn't know, 0:14:16.880 --> 0:14:19.720 they definitely started like a little bit of distance and 0:14:19.760 --> 0:14:22.120 like I don't know you, like who are you? And 0:14:22.160 --> 0:14:24.880 then the way that I would validate myself, I was like, oh, 0:14:24.880 --> 0:14:26.480 I was a cat for a long time and they're like, 0:14:26.920 --> 0:14:29.960 oh great, or like they're like maybe I recognize you, 0:14:30.000 --> 0:14:32.200 and I was like, oh, probably from cable news. 0:14:32.240 --> 0:14:34.240 And they're like oh yeah, yeah, yeah, good to see 0:14:34.240 --> 0:14:34.640 you again. 0:14:34.880 --> 0:14:37.000 But it was so funny, like the dagnal change and 0:14:37.040 --> 0:14:38.840 I saw and I was talking to one person who 0:14:38.880 --> 0:14:41.400 like I didn't know that well, but since I saw her, 0:14:41.440 --> 0:14:44.320 I went over to hello, as I generally do, and 0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:48.000 her demeanor towards me like clearly she gets she's like 0:14:48.000 --> 0:14:50.280 a very high position in the White House, and like 0:14:50.360 --> 0:14:51.920 she clearly gets hit up all the. 0:14:51.880 --> 0:14:52.600 Time for things. 0:14:52.960 --> 0:14:56.000 So the first like forty five seconds of our discussion 0:14:56.360 --> 0:14:58.400 were very different than the following minutes. 0:14:58.440 --> 0:15:00.640 Like she at first she was like very guard yeah 0:15:00.720 --> 0:15:02.840 though she recognized me a new made Yeah. 0:15:02.880 --> 0:15:04.760 And then once she realized that I didn't want anything 0:15:04.800 --> 0:15:06.880 from her and I just wanted to like ket its 0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:08.440 yeah catch up. 0:15:08.680 --> 0:15:12.080 Yeah yeah. She was like, oh I forgot how to 0:15:12.080 --> 0:15:14.600 do this nice. This isn't a transaction. I can like 0:15:14.600 --> 0:15:17.680 be normal. Yeah, yeah, totally. 0:15:17.320 --> 0:15:19.360 Yeah, I mean that is That is I think like 0:15:19.480 --> 0:15:21.520 one of the worst parts about this city. It's just 0:15:21.600 --> 0:15:26.400 like it is so transactional. And you can tell like 0:15:26.520 --> 0:15:29.400 when you're like out of a party or like networking 0:15:29.680 --> 0:15:32.720 or like you can tell immediately like the vibe from 0:15:32.760 --> 0:15:35.760 someone when they're like assessing like what value can I 0:15:35.840 --> 0:15:39.720 gain from you? What can you offer me as like 0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:42.960 a person in your job or whatever. And it is, Yeah, 0:15:43.000 --> 0:15:45.480 it's a little soul sucking sometimes, and it's like it's 0:15:45.520 --> 0:15:48.760 hard to also, I think, like maintain like some authenticity 0:15:48.800 --> 0:15:51.760 yourself because like you like rolled into that event like 0:15:51.880 --> 0:15:54.480 wanting to have a good time, like excited to be there, 0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:56.360 and like, you know, when you interact with so many 0:15:56.440 --> 0:15:59.480 people that like are clearly like making like a calculation, 0:16:00.120 --> 0:16:02.480 you know, like it's it's like a kills the vibe 0:16:02.480 --> 0:16:04.600 a little bit, you know, and especially like when you're 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:07.240 super young, like you might not be as confident to 0:16:07.320 --> 0:16:10.240 like keep your vibe up when you get that from somebody. 0:16:10.320 --> 0:16:11.760 Yeah, you know it starts out that way. 0:16:11.880 --> 0:16:13.720 Yeah, it's just like you're at the point where like 0:16:13.880 --> 0:16:16.560 you've got a great life and like you have all 0:16:16.600 --> 0:16:19.880 this stuff going on and you have confidence, and you know, 0:16:20.000 --> 0:16:22.160 a bad interaction like that someone is like not going 0:16:22.240 --> 0:16:24.880 to like ruin your day. But like if you would 0:16:24.880 --> 0:16:27.160 have had that conversation, like maybe when you're like twenty two, 0:16:27.360 --> 0:16:30.400 like you probably would have responded different, right, So totally, yeah, 0:16:30.400 --> 0:16:30.800 you know, it. 0:16:30.760 --> 0:16:31.320 Was so funny. 0:16:31.440 --> 0:16:33.320 Alison Zelman called me yesterday when I was talking to 0:16:33.320 --> 0:16:35.440 somebody who I didn't know, Like I was talking. 0:16:35.320 --> 0:16:37.160 To Eleman and this other woman who had worked with 0:16:37.160 --> 0:16:37.920 her before it came over. 0:16:38.000 --> 0:16:40.360 So I was just chatting with her and I was like, oh, 0:16:40.440 --> 0:16:42.400 do you live in Washington? And Zelma looked at me 0:16:42.440 --> 0:16:45.320 and she was like, you speak differently, Yeah, you don't 0:16:45.320 --> 0:16:45.600 live here. 0:16:45.640 --> 0:16:47.520 She was like, no, what you would say Washington? 0:16:47.840 --> 0:16:49.960 Yeah, like people would say, like, do you it that's 0:16:49.960 --> 0:16:51.520 true in a D three And I. 0:16:51.520 --> 0:16:53.960 Was like, yeah, that's right, Like now that I'm outside DC. 0:16:53.960 --> 0:16:57.000 Community thing, Yeah, I hearder Like last year, I took 0:16:57.000 --> 0:16:58.960 a little bit of a break, as you know, I 0:16:59.000 --> 0:17:01.560 like went away for like three months in between like 0:17:01.600 --> 0:17:04.880 two jobs. And whenever I was thinking about like where 0:17:04.920 --> 0:17:07.159 I wanted to take my break, like I was like, oh, 0:17:07.359 --> 0:17:10.200 I could just have a staycation in d C. Or 0:17:10.240 --> 0:17:12.399 like maybe I'll go to New York or California. And 0:17:12.440 --> 0:17:14.320 finally I was like, no, I have to like physically 0:17:14.440 --> 0:17:17.199 leave the country because like I need to be like 0:17:17.280 --> 0:17:20.679 away from the DC culture and kind of the grind 0:17:20.720 --> 0:17:22.480 of it all. And I will say, like as soon 0:17:22.520 --> 0:17:25.120 as like the plane lifted off taking me from DC 0:17:25.280 --> 0:17:27.720 to Europe, my shoulders like it was the best. 0:17:27.480 --> 0:17:31.080 Anti anxiety medication I've ever taken ever just leave it. 0:17:31.160 --> 0:17:33.480 Yeah, Yeah, it was like the tension just like relaxed 0:17:33.520 --> 0:17:36.520 from my shoulders. And I tell people now that you 0:17:36.520 --> 0:17:38.399 know I was. I talked to my partner about this 0:17:38.400 --> 0:17:40.560