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Speaker 1: Okay, Chip, I feel like we're officially going to get

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Speaker 1: some really good dating advice today. We have an expert.

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Speaker 1: We do have an expert. It's still the month of

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Speaker 1: Love on the v podcast, and we really did need

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Speaker 1: to call on the expert on dating because obviously Chip

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Speaker 1: and I are both singles. As you guys are emailing

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Speaker 1: us these questions about dating, we're like cool, so we

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Speaker 1: don't know what we're talking about. So let's call in

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Speaker 1: some reinforcements. And today we have Melissa Hobbley here and

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Speaker 1: she is the chief marketing officer for Okay Cupid. I

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Speaker 1: feel like we need you, Melissa, we need everything about

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Speaker 1: you today. You listen. I don't think you guys need me,

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Speaker 1: but I am so excited to have this conversation. And

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Speaker 1: I'll I'll spill it all. I'm like the anti exact.

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Speaker 1: I just I can't, I can't help it. I'll just

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Speaker 1: I'll give all the secrets, I'll answer all the questions

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Speaker 1: whatever you want to know. I'm I'm gonna give you

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Speaker 1: all the all the insider hacks, all of it. Well,

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Speaker 1: then you're the perfect fit for this podcast because we

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Speaker 1: both of us have no filter either. I love I

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Speaker 1: love this podcast. I was so excited to chat with

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Speaker 1: you guys. And I think that you talk about things

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Speaker 1: that are so important and um, and you don't sugarcoat it.

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Speaker 1: So I can't wait. I need a glass of wine.

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Speaker 1: But it's always our goal, like you know, when Kelly

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Speaker 1: and I set out to do this, like we're like,

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Speaker 1: we're not experts on any of this stuff, but we

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Speaker 1: wanted to feel like we're just friends talking, you know,

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Speaker 1: and that we're in the room with you. And so

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Speaker 1: I'm glad that it's resonating. People really have that feeling.

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Speaker 1: It really does feel like that, and you're not afraid

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Speaker 1: to be vulnerable, and most people are. They're not gonna

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Speaker 1: like share all of you know, how they're feeling or

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Speaker 1: if it's even like a weird day or and I

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Speaker 1: just think it's great. So I we just love what

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Speaker 1: you do. We're huge fans of Okay Cupid, and yeah,

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Speaker 1: y'all are great. Well, we appreciate that. We were talking

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Speaker 1: a little bit before and Chips said, you know, it's

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Speaker 1: fun because I actually sort of forgot about Okay keeping hip.

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Speaker 1: What were you saying to Melissa? So when I lived

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Speaker 1: in Los Angeles, I was on it and I actually

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Speaker 1: really liked it, but it was like pre app like

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Speaker 1: the apps being really big, so it was a web

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Speaker 1: based thing. So then when some of the app based

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Speaker 1: stuff started to calm like and for in my world

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Speaker 1: because I'm gay, like it was the grinders and the

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Speaker 1: scrubs of the world. So because they were catering to

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Speaker 1: a gay audience, I migrated over to those. And then

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Speaker 1: the web based stuff as they were developing their apps

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Speaker 1: caught up with the times and they weren't just they

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Speaker 1: were welcoming gay people too, not that they weren't before,

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Speaker 1: but they just weren't at based in location based in

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Speaker 1: that same way. So I'm gonna have to download it.

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Speaker 1: After this conversation. I love hearing that. Okay, Cupe listen,

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Speaker 1: we're o G and we're so and okay, keep you

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Speaker 1: started by Harvard grads who were like, I'm using technology.

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Speaker 1: This is before apps to like find a car or

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Speaker 1: house or like email. Why can't this help me find somebody?

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Speaker 1: And dating is hard, It's fucking hard, and let's do that.

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Speaker 1: And and we've had a real comeback over the last

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Speaker 1: few years. And um, part of that, chip to your

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Speaker 1: point is we have we devoted two years to really

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Speaker 1: understand the l g B t Q experience. We I

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Speaker 1: would hear from my queer and lesbian female friends like,

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Speaker 1: you're you're kind of been. You've been all we had,

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Speaker 1: Like the gay guys and had they've got. You know,

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Speaker 1: there's other apps for them, but you've been all that

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Speaker 1: we've had. But we really wanted to understand um And,

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Speaker 1: partly because other dating apps were ignoring if you're non binary,

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Speaker 1: if your trance, if your pan sexual, if you're bisexually

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Speaker 1: or scapio sexual. I'm not throughout words. Yeah, I've never

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Speaker 1: heard um and and, and we wanted we cared so

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Speaker 1: much about supporting daters that other people ignored. We we

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Speaker 1: hired were There also the only dating app born and

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Speaker 1: raised in New York City, and you can I think

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Speaker 1: you can feel that in the experience that we will

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Speaker 1: over invest in the engineering and the architecture. It's really

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Speaker 1: complicated ship to say, Okay, you're by but you don't

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Speaker 1: want to see be seen by straight people. Da da

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Speaker 1: da da da or you know, so anyway, we um

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Speaker 1: We're really proud of what we've done. We've done over

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Speaker 1: the last four years to something else happened that helped

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Speaker 1: us have this like comeback, and that is that people

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Speaker 1: wanted to know how you felt about certain issues in

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Speaker 1: the world. Are you an LGBTQ ally and do you

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Speaker 1: support the right to love? And we have been one

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Speaker 1: of the a c l US longest partner in the

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Speaker 1: data and space. We have been the longest partner and

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Speaker 1: the oldest partner and the biggest partner, and so we

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Speaker 1: created a big filter. If you don't give a ship

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Speaker 1: about lgbt Q rights, get the funk out. I don't

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Speaker 1: want to see you as one of my matches. And

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Speaker 1: um climate change, gun control, immigration, reproductive rights, you name it,

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Speaker 1: a voter. And it doesn't mean that I you have

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Speaker 1: to answer the questions. It doesn't mean that you have

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Speaker 1: to find somebody that feels exactly the way you feel

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Speaker 1: abou all these issues. But it does mean that when

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Speaker 1: you slow people down and when you say you really

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Speaker 1: care about mental health advocacy, or you really care about

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Speaker 1: social or racial equity in this country, my god, that

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Speaker 1: is hot. That is so hot, And no other app

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Speaker 1: is asking you if you how you feel about that stuff,

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Speaker 1: if you feel about it, and then using that to

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Speaker 1: power the algorithm. Because what what doesn't matter is somebody's

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Speaker 1: neighborhood and when I app right, I'm on on the

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Speaker 1: right now, and I open one up and I see

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Speaker 1: your neighborhood and your height. Okay, your height is going

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Speaker 1: to be attractive, but that doesn't that tells me funk

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Speaker 1: all about what you're going to be. Like when I

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Speaker 1: have a hard day, I love that you're like, I

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Speaker 1: love that you you help lead with that because when

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Speaker 1: one of the things that I find really complicated is

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Speaker 1: how you fill out your profile to sort of indicate

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Speaker 1: all the things that you care about without sounding like

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Speaker 1: an asshole or even remembering to mention that you care

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Speaker 1: about climate change, you know what I mean. So like

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Speaker 1: putting some of that stuff first, that you're answering those questions,

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Speaker 1: like it allows you just to put your personality into

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Speaker 1: the profile. It totally does, and you actually the data

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Speaker 1: shows that people will respond to your profile differently when

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Speaker 1: you don't just say here's what you should not do,

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Speaker 1: just an easy, go and laid back girl looking for

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Speaker 1: a great guy. How would I didn't say to that?

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Speaker 1: What do I? Everybody does that, by the way, Like

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Speaker 1: I didn't get it? Yes, oh my god. People don't

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Speaker 1: know what to say about each other they don't know

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Speaker 1: what to say about themselves, and so and so you know,

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Speaker 1: and so your question is a really good when you know,

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Speaker 1: like how do I fill that section nowt one thing

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Speaker 1: I say is like, get your girlfriend or you're any

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Speaker 1: friend that knows you and get it margarita and have

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Speaker 1: them fill it out. Well, you know, it's funny. Kelly

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Speaker 1: and I we're talking one day, I was like, I

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Speaker 1: think I have a million dollar idea, Like it's a

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Speaker 1: dating app where your friends fill out your profile and

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Speaker 1: like or your friend is the one who's actively using

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Speaker 1: like but then I saw there they exist, They just

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Speaker 1: you know, you know, yeah, and we have a friend

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Speaker 1: who's really good at putting words together and kind of

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Speaker 1: pitching you as she used to be in PR. Maybe

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Speaker 1: that's it for all of our friends, because we realized

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Speaker 1: that when our friends are sitting down to make these profiles,

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Speaker 1: the way they would describe themselves is actually just not true,

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Speaker 1: like period, just not true. Yes, we had one friends

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Speaker 1: start listening off this stuff and I was like, you're

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Speaker 1: not even like that. What do you do? Right? We're

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Speaker 1: not good at it. It's kind of like, you know,

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Speaker 1: when you have to update your resume, you been writing

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Speaker 1: that little bio section of your Instagram or your Twitter

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Speaker 1: for the first time. It's it's tough, it's hard, and

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Speaker 1: so yeah, get that friend that knows you. Another thing

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Speaker 1: that really works is list so it says like, tell

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Speaker 1: you know, describe yourself, a little bout yourself that you do,

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Speaker 1: UM for work, podcast, you know, slub, makeup art, whatever,

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Speaker 1: like list out your things pottery, Hustle and Etsy on

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Speaker 1: the side. You know, UM shows, I mentioned COVID albums

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Speaker 1: that change my life, places I can't wait to go to,

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Speaker 1: when travels normal whatever. UM. Listing things is really good

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Speaker 1: for two reasons. One, you don't have to think and

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Speaker 1: be like, oh god, I don't sound funny enough. Don't

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Speaker 1: worry about being funny. You just get some stuff out there.

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Speaker 1: But here's the secret. For for both straight and LGBTQ daters,

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Speaker 1: you're kind of trying to think of it this way.

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Speaker 1: You're trying to give people something to like, make it

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Speaker 1: easy to reach out to you. And so when I

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Speaker 1: when someone says just look, you know, a laid back

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Speaker 1: girl looking for like a nice, down to earth person,

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Speaker 1: well everyone wants that. I I can't respond to that.

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Speaker 1: But if you say albums that change my life Janet Jackson,

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Speaker 1: blah blah blah and whatever. Um, then you're really upping

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Speaker 1: the chances that someone's gonna say, Okay, yes Janet, but

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Speaker 1: not that album. It was obviously this was her best ever,

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Speaker 1: Miss Jackson. If you're nasty, I love that. That's actually

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Speaker 1: what our friend does, is she kind of does bullet points,

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Speaker 1: you know. So it's like, it's to the point, here's

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Speaker 1: some top things about me. You're not the whole like

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Speaker 1: I'm the cool girl whatever. You keep saying, the laid

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Speaker 1: back like the blah blah blah blah blah that is

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Speaker 1: so boring and also probably not true. Like we're saying, yeah,

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Speaker 1: anyone who calls laid back is probably You're probably not.

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Speaker 1: You're playing the role. And it's like the whole point

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Speaker 1: of all of this is to actually find someone who's

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Speaker 1: compatible with you, which is what I love about what

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Speaker 1: you first said. When you're actually talking about real issues,

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Speaker 1: and I think so much in our climate right now,

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Speaker 1: those are the things that really matter. I don't think

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Speaker 1: we've ever seen a climate like this where politics or

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Speaker 1: any sort of issue that is really important to you

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Speaker 1: actually matters with Probably who you're picking or dating one

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Speaker 1: who you're friends with. So I'm sure that's a huge

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Speaker 1: piece of this. It's a huge piece of this. It's

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Speaker 1: it's made okay Cupid like hot dating epping it and

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Speaker 1: it's a really it's really great ingredient for like a

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Speaker 1: relationship if that's what you're looking for. You no, Imagine

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Speaker 1: if you went out with somebody and you were really

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Speaker 1: really cared about the environment and they did not believe

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Speaker 1: climate change is real. Can you imagine the waste of

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Speaker 1: time you would be like I got pretty for this,

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Speaker 1: or I got a babysitter, want whatever, or imagine then

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Speaker 1: imagine if you're like, wow, I don't really maybe it's okay.

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Speaker 1: Imagine your little box you take on like grub Hub

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Speaker 1: or uber eats it says, don't include the plastic silverware.

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Speaker 1: Imagine if you care about the environment and you're dating

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Speaker 1: someone who never takes that box and never imagine those

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Speaker 1: little tiny fights all day like you're gonna explode on

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Speaker 1: each other. So it really does work. It's why, it's

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Speaker 1: why we're really good at this. It's why I get

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Speaker 1: I get wedding invitations every week saying we just wanted

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Speaker 1: to say thank you, like I never thought i'd need

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Speaker 1: to time. My friend made me do this and he

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Speaker 1: proposed last week, and you know, so it does work.

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Speaker 1: That just reminded me of the Batchelor. You know, they're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: my friend signed me up for this, and you're like,

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Speaker 1: sure they did, Sure they did. Okay, So once you

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Speaker 1: have your profiles set up, one of the insider tips

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Speaker 1: that you told us she would give us is how

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Speaker 1: do we make these algorithms actually work for us? Yes, okay,

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Speaker 1: so here's here's one tip. Yes, I'm gonna have you.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to reference these and like something I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna give you at the power point, I'm gonna give you. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So here is one of the first things you want

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Speaker 1: to do is actually swipe, like swipe in light, because

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Speaker 1: we are trying to learn what you like. You know,

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Speaker 1: when like you turn on Netflix, like oh I just

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Speaker 1: watched the crime documentary and you're showing me more crime documentaries.

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Speaker 1: I'm in right. We that's dating apps, so like, especially

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Speaker 1: okay Cupid, because our algorithm really wants to like show

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Speaker 1: you the right people. So swiping and sending messages or likes,

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Speaker 1: letting us know who you like. That helps us do

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Speaker 1: a better job. Okay, So that will actually help filter

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Speaker 1: in more people that you like. Okay, well it will

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Speaker 1: on okay Cupid, especially Okay especially. Some of the other

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Speaker 1: apps do that a little bit less or a lot less, um,

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Speaker 1: but on okay Cupid especially, that will do that. Another

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Speaker 1: thing is the more uh, if you go two weeks,

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Speaker 1: the longer you take inactive, some of those apps will

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Speaker 1: just stop showing you to people, which is actually really

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Speaker 1: good because what you don't want we call them zombies

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Speaker 1: on okay Cupid where you didn't delete the app, but

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Speaker 1: you're not active at all. I don't want to show

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Speaker 1: somebody that's really motivated and chin but I don't want

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Speaker 1: to show them those profiles because like, well he has

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Speaker 1: actually been here in a few weeks, so you know,

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Speaker 1: don't get too excited. So the other thing is if

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Speaker 1: you're you know, if you're really in the mindset, and

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Speaker 1: it's also okay if you're not know when you're ready, No,

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Speaker 1: I get Kelly, I think you're You've got really good

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Speaker 1: self awareness about that. I know I'm not ready. You

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Speaker 1: know you're not ready. No, you're not in that headspace,

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Speaker 1: so don't force it. But when you are um, don't

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Speaker 1: you know, don't let Two weeks is kind of the

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Speaker 1: window where a lot of apps will stop showing you

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Speaker 1: to people. Another thing, here's the here's one that nobody does.

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Speaker 1: Seventy percent of daters on okay Cupid set it and

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Speaker 1: forget it, meaning they set their profile and then they

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Speaker 1: don't touch it. And imagine if you were like looking

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Speaker 1: for a job and you you would not do that

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Speaker 1: with your resume, you know that with your LinkedIn, if

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Speaker 1: you're in social media, you wouldn't just let it and

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Speaker 1: you're trying to get a new social media job or whatever,

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Speaker 1: even just not update it. So we do a lot

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Speaker 1: of things, and I blame like the Disney, you know,

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Speaker 1: we want to be whisked away. We think that, you know,

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Speaker 1: Matthew mcconnade is going to push us out of the

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Speaker 1: cab and that'll be it. And and that is not

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Speaker 1: how people are meeting. Orges in the US are from

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Speaker 1: a dating app. Eight percent of LGBTQ relationships are from

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Speaker 1: a dating app. And listen, I also, I'm the only

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Speaker 1: dating app person that will say I get it. You

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Speaker 1: hate dating apps like me too. I get it. I

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Speaker 1: totally get it. But when you when you update your profile.

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Speaker 1: Here's what happens. The algorithm thinks you're new, so it

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Speaker 1: lights up. And when you're new, it's kind of like

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Speaker 1: when you're a new cell phone person. That's when you're

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Speaker 1: training the best, so it lights up. It shows you

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Speaker 1: to more people. You see more people. Uh. Also you're

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Speaker 1: you know what I say to people because like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, I can't have a picture to my profile

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Speaker 1: every week. It's hard enough to find four. Um. By

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Speaker 1: the way, if you have at least four photos, you're

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Speaker 1: six more likely to get a message on the Okay,

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Speaker 1: keep it okay, but I love the chip is actually

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Speaker 1: taking this. I'm literally taking it up. I love it.

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Speaker 1: I love it. Okay, So four pictures are more. At

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Speaker 1: least four pictures are here, and then you're every week

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Speaker 1: to two weeks. I think it's great if you do

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Speaker 1: every week, but every at least every two weeks, you're

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Speaker 1: going to add something to your profile. And it could

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Speaker 1: be go back to those bullet points or lists like

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Speaker 1: um uh you know show again, like shows you love

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Speaker 1: right now, concerts that you know, your top ten concerts

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Speaker 1: of your life. I think it's like fun stuff that

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Speaker 1: people ask you about, things that actually change. Yeah, things

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Speaker 1: that new updates. One of the things I've noticed with

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Speaker 1: a lot of my friends is the picture picking and

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Speaker 1: how difficult that is, which you can so, is there

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Speaker 1: a certain type of picture, like, for instance, I have

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Speaker 1: a lot of professional pictures that I have, but I

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Speaker 1: would never put does on a dating app, right because

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Speaker 1: it looks like I'm trying to be like, oh, look

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Speaker 1: at this like model picture or whatever. Do you have

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Speaker 1: certain like bullet points that we should look out when

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Speaker 1: picking a picture? Is it something that we're doing, like,

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Speaker 1: tell us more about that piece totally, and you're this

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Speaker 1: is actually the hardest part is the picture taking. And

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Speaker 1: also ladies, every other lady say, I'm gonna wait till

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Speaker 1: i'm more this, I'm more this, I'm skinning. I'm just like,

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Speaker 1: cut all that bullshit out and just get it up.

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Speaker 1: Um did you write that one down? If you are

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Speaker 1: so cute? What a catch chicken. By the way, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I love the glasses he's feeling, okay, So and and

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Speaker 1: and so the most important picture is your profile picture.

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Speaker 1: And here's what you have to do for the profile picture.

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Speaker 1: It needs to be like like high school yearbook. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so like chasing up. I need to be able to

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Speaker 1: see your face. And the photos they get the most

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Speaker 1: like achs are you're smiling, like I'm seeing the early whites,

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Speaker 1: no sunglasses in that first photo, and it's kind of

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Speaker 1: like when I look at that picture, do I lean

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Speaker 1: in a little bit? So you're smiling, you're looking at

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Speaker 1: the camera. There's some data that shows that if you're

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Speaker 1: wearing a bright color that helps. Okay, I don't. I

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Speaker 1: think we see that a little bit on Okay Cupid,

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Speaker 1: but not enough. We're like, oh well, I'm larry a

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Speaker 1: white shirt on this one, and I feel good, all right,

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Speaker 1: put it up. So first photo you're smiling, it's like

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Speaker 1: neck and above I can see your face. The other

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Speaker 1: three photos, at least one of those should be you

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Speaker 1: doing something. So if you're if you love to cook,

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Speaker 1: put a photo in of you cooking, Like if you

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Speaker 1: think about when I look at those four photos, what

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Speaker 1: can I tell about you? And I don't want it

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Speaker 1: to be that you can take a bathroom selfie? And

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Speaker 1: I don't want it to be they were a Vegas

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Speaker 1: pool party, okay, like make it. I ran one marathon.

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Speaker 1: I did it for a nonprofit, and I put on

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Speaker 1: my I have on my profile one and done. Don't

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Speaker 1: get any I am not a runner, but I ran

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Speaker 1: a marathon. I'm really proud of it, and I want

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Speaker 1: to put it on my and I and people write

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Speaker 1: to me about that, they're like, oh my god, that's

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Speaker 1: really funny. No, I did one too, it was awful.

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Speaker 1: So one needs to be something you do. It could

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Speaker 1: be hell, you're doing makeup, chip, you're interviewing someone, you're

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Speaker 1: like backstage at a concert, like you know, I saw

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Speaker 1: your Instagram. You've got some action shots. You guys have

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Speaker 1: good like behind the scenes music industry way. But I

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Speaker 1: have a question about that because, like I actually was

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Speaker 1: thinking I wouldn't want anything related to my job because

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Speaker 1: that's like falling into the category of I'm a human

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Speaker 1: doing not a human being, you know, Like is that

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Speaker 1: accurate or like that's my instinct is to be like,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to lead with my job or what

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Speaker 1: I do. Yeah. No, I think that's a fair point.

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Speaker 1: But I also think if it's a part of your

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Speaker 1: life and you're proud of and girl, you should be

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Speaker 1: proud of that, it's okay for it to be a

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Speaker 1: part of that story, right because it's not your lead

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Speaker 1: picture and it's not it's just one. You know, you

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Speaker 1: have a career to be proud of that you love.

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Speaker 1: If you hated your job and you hated your life,

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Speaker 1: i'd say you don't put it in there, but I

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Speaker 1: think I think make it, make it part of it,

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Speaker 1: or you know, it's a you should have a podcast

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Speaker 1: like photo in there, both of you. But you know,

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Speaker 1: do the headphones and the mic right, more like an

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Speaker 1: action shot and then ended. Do one one and one

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Speaker 1: or two photos with friends is good. Some people do

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Speaker 1: like five. You know, I can't figure out who are you? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that gets really confusing guy, especially like yeah, definitely not

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Speaker 1: like no, you cannot do it as a profile photo.

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Speaker 1: But it's nice because I heard someone say once, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I want to know that you're like not a serial killer,

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Speaker 1: like you have friends like your normal dude. Right, that

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Speaker 1: makes sense, It makes sense. But like you know, we

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Speaker 1: often have our friend photos at a thing. So if

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Speaker 1: you love to ski, like pull one of those photos

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Speaker 1: in because that's something and that's something I can maybe

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Speaker 1: I love to ski to think about things that what

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Speaker 1: people here's another insider thing. What people don't think about

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Speaker 1: is it's really hard to send that first message, and

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Speaker 1: and some of the nicest guys, straight and gay and

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Speaker 1: everything between are are not the ones that are like hey,

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Speaker 1: no, no no, just went to say, but they're a little

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Speaker 1: shy and awkward. And so you want to make it

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Speaker 1: easier by putting something out there that you can talk about.

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Speaker 1: Did you go to Machu Pishu and it was amazing?

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Speaker 1: All right? But that you love to travel, you should

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Speaker 1: have something related to travel in that to make it

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Speaker 1: something that people can ask you about. Do you all

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Speaker 1: have data? Because you know the pit that I fall into?

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Speaker 1: Is it I'm like watching television and it's just this,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's all so yeah, sorry, I mean, you know,

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Speaker 1: this is a pocast. So I'm swiping and it's literally

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Speaker 1: like the photo and most people's photos are fucking terrible.

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Speaker 1: But I'm like, how do you your photos from the eighties?

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Speaker 1: Like what? Yes? Um, but it's I don't I catch

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Speaker 1: myself not even reading anything about anybody? Do you all

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Speaker 1: have debt? Like? Is that what most people are doing

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00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:55,840
Speaker 1: a lot of people really important? Exactly. That's why that

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00:20:55,880 --> 00:21:00,440
Speaker 1: first photo is important. But also you we all need

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Speaker 1: to slow down. We all need to down. What I

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Speaker 1: say to people is give that profile the time and

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Speaker 1: energy and respect that you want. Have you ever toyed

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Speaker 1: with the idea of not even having a photo? We have,

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Speaker 1: We've toyed with that idea. We've toyed with the idea of, um,

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Speaker 1: what if you force slowed people down, like have created

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Speaker 1: some kind of mechanism right and go over this mild

409
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:26,520
Speaker 1: per hour speed limit like you're way too fast? Want

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Speaker 1: to shut you down. Um, we toyed with taking away

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Speaker 1: everybody's photos for like one hour. That's like that love

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Speaker 1: is blind ship. I mean like that's the thing is

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Speaker 1: like I wish I was reading more of the profiles. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: here's a here's a fun tip to do. Here's what

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Speaker 1: I will tell people. Get with your friend and you

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Speaker 1: don't look at the profiles, but you tell them to

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Speaker 1: read the profile too. Oh I like that fun. So

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Speaker 1: like I would read too tips about certain guys. You. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you're tips phone and you're going to say, like profile

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Speaker 1: this saw this morning. I okay keep it. Left my

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Speaker 1: fancy corporate job to work full time in a nonprofit

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Speaker 1: to um, we get wrongly convicted death row inmates off

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Speaker 1: of death row and exonerated. How hot is why puper

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Speaker 1: like whatever the thing is, whatever, and so um and listen,

425
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:26,920
Speaker 1: women are actually worse. Women are more judgmental. The data

426
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:30,639
Speaker 1: shows when are paris than men. Are you believe that? Yeah,

427
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,239
Speaker 1: well I believe it because I've seen my friends do it.

428
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:36,480
Speaker 1: We have one friend, well, one of our friends always says, hello,

429
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:38,880
Speaker 1: are you reading the profile? And a lot of our

430
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:44,040
Speaker 1: friends aren't. They're just swiping on the picture and online. Yeah,

431
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:48,280
Speaker 1: well the one who reads the profile, yes, But the

432
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:51,640
Speaker 1: other friends end up going on these dates based off

433
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:54,600
Speaker 1: of the car he drives, or how tall he is

434
00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:58,280
Speaker 1: or things like that, and it's like there's no compatibility really,

435
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:02,439
Speaker 1: or he's a jerk most of time. So yeah, you

436
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:04,359
Speaker 1: just want them to read the profile. I actually get

437
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:08,560
Speaker 1: to know the people and and listen, you if for

438
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:13,080
Speaker 1: no other reason, don't waste your time time, right, Those

439
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:16,240
Speaker 1: profiles tell you every They tell you so much. When

440
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 1: are like, oh my god, everyone goes to me that

441
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:19,639
Speaker 1: and I'll be like, let me look at who you

442
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:23,480
Speaker 1: have gone out with and it's like shirtless selfie at Vegas,

443
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:26,760
Speaker 1: like a fancy red car and there's four words in

444
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:30,040
Speaker 1: his profile. Do you think this guy is here for relationship? Honestly?

445
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:35,000
Speaker 1: Exactly the clues. What's that's saying from Oprah? When they

446
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,040
Speaker 1: show you who they are believed, then they're showing you

447
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:40,080
Speaker 1: a lot of who they are, right. Yeah. And also

448
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:43,680
Speaker 1: when someone has taken here's nothing that people don't do.

449
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:45,879
Speaker 1: When someone has taken the time to fill out a

450
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:50,719
Speaker 1: profile you, you already know how much they're putting in

451
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:54,439
Speaker 1: you already. Okay, they're they're much more likely to be

452
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,160
Speaker 1: serious about meeting up and I Okay, Cupid, we take

453
00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,920
Speaker 1: it a step further, so you have to answer fifth

454
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,359
Speaker 1: team of our questions. We're kind of famous for these questions.

455
00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:05,679
Speaker 1: You have to answer fifteen to get to to PASCO.

456
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:09,159
Speaker 1: Most people answer fifty. We then show you a match percentage,

457
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:13,480
Speaker 1: so you know exactly why you know Chad and Mark

458
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:17,479
Speaker 1: are in. You click on that and then it shows

459
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:21,800
Speaker 1: you what you agree on but that yeah, and then

460
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 1: you can also see that, oh my god, Mark has

461
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:31,440
Speaker 1: answered four hundred questions he is in invested invested. Yeah,

462
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:38,359
Speaker 1: I'm downloading this right now. You know, some a lot

463
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 1: of the other ones don't give you even enough space

464
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:46,120
Speaker 1: to say anything about you. They don't And I think, um,

465
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:50,840
Speaker 1: I think that some apps are not in the business

466
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:56,280
Speaker 1: of getting you together, and I think they you know, Um,

467
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:59,960
Speaker 1: it's funny too. Um, you know we're in a busin

468
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,920
Speaker 1: this where we we we want to get you off

469
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:09,680
Speaker 1: pun intended and so if we're doing our job, you're

470
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:14,440
Speaker 1: getting off and you're right. So uh yeah, I guess

471
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:16,639
Speaker 1: it's not it's not very good for your business model

472
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:21,120
Speaker 1: if people are like truly meeting and shutting down the app. Yeah,

473
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,159
Speaker 1: but then the success stories seem like it would make

474
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:27,240
Speaker 1: it everyone. There's always going to be people looking to

475
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:31,200
Speaker 1: date period. There is So okay, you've listed a couple

476
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:33,720
Speaker 1: of these, but can you give us maybe the top

477
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:38,159
Speaker 1: dudes and don't of being on a dating app? Yes, okay,

478
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:42,640
Speaker 1: so to get your pen Okay, the top is um,

479
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:45,119
Speaker 1: top duds and dones. The top dues are put that

480
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:48,200
Speaker 1: time in, you know. Again, it's like we put time

481
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:51,119
Speaker 1: into every part of our lives, and when you really

482
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,720
Speaker 1: want to meet someone, you can They're not going to

483
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:57,800
Speaker 1: break into the house. So do get on an app.

484
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:00,320
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be okay Cupid, find out pick

485
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:03,720
Speaker 1: the one that's right for you. Um, do you do

486
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,080
Speaker 1: get on an app? Do put the time in? If

487
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:08,800
Speaker 1: you're telling yourself, I want to meet even real life.

488
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:10,920
Speaker 1: Well is that working for you? Like, is that really

489
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:12,840
Speaker 1: working for you? You know? I think that's such a

490
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:15,440
Speaker 1: good point that because these days, like I've never done

491
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:18,399
Speaker 1: a dating app, but I have said to multiple friends

492
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:20,320
Speaker 1: this time, like, I know I'm going to have to

493
00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:22,640
Speaker 1: do that this go around, because it's just the way

494
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:24,960
Speaker 1: things are. And if I don't do something like that,

495
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:27,880
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna be in my office working all day

496
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:30,639
Speaker 1: and like I work alone unless Chip comes over. So

497
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:32,679
Speaker 1: like when am I going to meet people? You know?

498
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:35,960
Speaker 1: And it's not like you can be on a dating

499
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:38,440
Speaker 1: app and still go out the bar, you know, if

500
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:41,000
Speaker 1: you're putting that energy out into the universe of like

501
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 1: I'm ready to date, I'm ready to meet somebody, and

502
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:46,520
Speaker 1: you put the action steps in, And I do think

503
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:49,200
Speaker 1: that's when I've seen people get rewarded. Or do you

504
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 1: see somebody that you've seen online at the bar and

505
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 1: you're like, oh my god, there they are, okay, And

506
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:59,440
Speaker 1: that actually happens a lot. That happened so much, right,

507
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:01,280
Speaker 1: And and the way I think that dating apps is

508
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:02,480
Speaker 1: like you know, when you go to a bar and

509
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:04,600
Speaker 1: you're like, I wish them I walked into this bar.

510
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:08,240
Speaker 1: I know, exactly who is singling here? Like the dating

511
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 1: apps are doing that for you think because you're being honest,

512
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:19,399
Speaker 1: it's really it's become harder and harder for people because

513
00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:22,280
Speaker 1: there's no stigma. Now. It's like, you know, kind of

514
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:24,400
Speaker 1: you you're kind of alluding to this. Now the stigma

515
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:26,640
Speaker 1: is more like if you're single and you're like, I'm

516
00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:28,040
Speaker 1: not doing it, your friends like, what do you mean?

517
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:31,560
Speaker 1: Just try it? You know, and most of them are free,

518
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:36,000
Speaker 1: so you know, it's it's a I don't think you

519
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:37,880
Speaker 1: have a lot. I don't think you have a lot

520
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 1: to lose. Why not? Why not? Like? What are what

521
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:44,680
Speaker 1: are some more dudes? And don't okay, let me give

522
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:48,440
Speaker 1: you some more? Don't um, don't mindless swipe Chad, you

523
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:51,119
Speaker 1: brought this up. You already know big, don't don't don't

524
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 1: don't mindless swipe? Uh do Make yourself send some messages.

525
00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:58,959
Speaker 1: Make yourself do this. I do this my girlfriends and

526
00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:01,760
Speaker 1: my guy friends and my non binary friends and all

527
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:06,840
Speaker 1: the friends. Make yourself send a couple of messages every week.

528
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 1: Make yourself like actually, and if you are not sending

529
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:12,880
Speaker 1: you like, I didn't see anyone want I liked, then

530
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:15,960
Speaker 1: I need you to slow down, make your do the

531
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:18,080
Speaker 1: exercise with your friend. We're like, I'm not going to

532
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:19,840
Speaker 1: see that. I don't want to see their pictures. I

533
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:22,439
Speaker 1: want you to read me the profile and I'm gonna

534
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:26,479
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, yeah your name, Okay, Okay. That's another.

535
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:28,960
Speaker 1: That's another big one like that. We're gonna do that

536
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:31,800
Speaker 1: on Super Bowl Sunday. Oh I got you boo. I

537
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 1: love playing on other people's dating games. It's fun. It's

538
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:39,960
Speaker 1: so fun. It's so fun. Well, and that's that's actually

539
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 1: another big do is is let your friends help you,

540
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:47,280
Speaker 1: like make it fun. You know, I know dating is hard.

541
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 1: I know that it's really hard, but uh it can

542
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,600
Speaker 1: it also really it is worth it. You know, the

543
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:57,680
Speaker 1: the incredible stories of of love are out there. And

544
00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:00,320
Speaker 1: here's another reason why you have to do this. We

545
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 1: work with a really incredible um social anthropologist and I

546
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:07,800
Speaker 1: wanted to know what happens after a big like world

547
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:12,680
Speaker 1: changing event and uh after the pandemic US. After both

548
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:17,120
Speaker 1: world wars, people really do get very motivated. So it

549
00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:20,000
Speaker 1: is quite literally the best time to get on an

550
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:23,000
Speaker 1: app because everybody is saying I want to meet someone,

551
00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:25,640
Speaker 1: I want to put myself out there. I'm gonna stop

552
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:27,400
Speaker 1: worrying about these other things. I'm not going to make

553
00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:29,680
Speaker 1: any more excuses. And by the way, this is different

554
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:31,680
Speaker 1: from Kelly what we were talking about, which is what

555
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 1: you know when you're when you should put yourself out

556
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:36,920
Speaker 1: there when you shouldn't. So this is not mean. And

557
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:41,040
Speaker 1: by the way, also there's it's one. It's amazing to

558
00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:43,880
Speaker 1: also not feel like you have to be with someone, right.

559
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:46,640
Speaker 1: That's really really lonely, you know. So this is not

560
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:49,000
Speaker 1: about you have to be with someone and you're not happy.

561
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:52,760
Speaker 1: Fuck that absolutely not. I was so happy single. I'm

562
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:57,360
Speaker 1: happy mare. You know when you're ready, here's the you're ready. Yeah,

563
00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:00,680
Speaker 1: and everyone's on a different timeline. That's y, that's right,

564
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:04,960
Speaker 1: that's right. And then you know, my last do is um.

565
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,240
Speaker 1: There's a really interesting study out of the UK that

566
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:12,240
Speaker 1: showed an unprecedented spike in interracial marriages and that coincided

567
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:15,120
Speaker 1: with when Tinder exploded. So when Tinder came on the scene,

568
00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:17,680
Speaker 1: it grew dating apps around the world and it made

569
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:20,520
Speaker 1: the stigma totally go away because what happens in a

570
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:24,040
Speaker 1: lot of countries and okay, cupids global, we've single people

571
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:26,240
Speaker 1: around the world is you get on Tinder. When you

572
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:27,840
Speaker 1: go to college, you have to be eighteen to get

573
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:29,800
Speaker 1: in a dating app, and so you really don't have

574
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:31,200
Speaker 1: a stigma because you're like, oh, I've been doing this

575
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:34,400
Speaker 1: like since I was a kid, basically, um, and so

576
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:37,520
Speaker 1: the important thing. What was so amazing about that study, though,

577
00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:40,600
Speaker 1: is dating apps have exposed us two things that we

578
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:43,080
Speaker 1: didn't necessarily maybe we didn't grow up with. It's not

579
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:45,760
Speaker 1: something one of Some of the ingredients of attraction are

580
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:49,760
Speaker 1: similarity and familiarity, and many countries in the world are segregated.

581
00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:55,240
Speaker 1: With dating apps, your way more likely to to to

582
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:57,680
Speaker 1: date someone that may not have I grew up in

583
00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:01,560
Speaker 1: must Indiana that I am Mayory aid to a Chinese Australian.

584
00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:06,600
Speaker 1: I could write you would that would happen, you know.

585
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:09,800
Speaker 1: And but this is what's so and I think that's

586
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:14,240
Speaker 1: so beautiful. Is dating apps enable you to be exposed

587
00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:16,880
Speaker 1: to different cultures, different backgrounds, different things. So my my

588
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:22,120
Speaker 1: other big do is be open. Yeah, be open. This

589
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:25,840
Speaker 1: may not be on on paper what you thought you

590
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:30,720
Speaker 1: wanted or needed. He's not six to Okay, let's relax

591
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:34,280
Speaker 1: a little bit. Where did that rule come from? Anyway,

592
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:38,240
Speaker 1: It's trary, like what's more important by the way you're

593
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:41,280
Speaker 1: feeling loved by a tall person seriously, and by the

594
00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 1: way women they Oh, it's always one of the first

595
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:46,680
Speaker 1: things people a singleman telling me is height. And and

596
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:51,959
Speaker 1: you have just knocked out of the population. So you

597
00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:57,520
Speaker 1: have killed your chances because of a height requirement? Are

598
00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 1: you serious? Like right now, like I'm sending this to

599
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:06,720
Speaker 1: one of our friends I'm singer later, Um, yeah, that's

600
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:10,120
Speaker 1: funny because I also, like, I'm five eleven. I've never

601
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:12,280
Speaker 1: thought of myself as tall, but I noticed when I'm

602
00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:15,120
Speaker 1: at concerts, I'm usually one of the taller people in

603
00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:17,680
Speaker 1: the room, and I'm like, oh, guys are actually kind

604
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:20,320
Speaker 1: of short. Like, so all these women that are like

605
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:23,480
Speaker 1: or men that want somebody who's six foot tall like

606
00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:26,600
Speaker 1: you truly are limiting yourself. You are so let meself

607
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:28,880
Speaker 1: and women are like an average height on a woman

608
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:31,160
Speaker 1: is five five, Get out of here with that. It's

609
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:36,160
Speaker 1: it's really and and women are You're leaving wonderful, amazing

610
00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:39,120
Speaker 1: guys on the table. So that's another Another don't is

611
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:42,480
Speaker 1: don't have don't have this list that you Kelly you

612
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:46,200
Speaker 1: said earlier, that is not about compatibility their neighborhood, if

613
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:49,120
Speaker 1: they went to an ivy league college, if they make

614
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:52,720
Speaker 1: a certain amount, that is you know, what we have

615
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 1: learned and noticed about happy long term relationships, and you

616
00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:59,040
Speaker 1: guys have had experts talk about this too, is is

617
00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:03,280
Speaker 1: are they mind? Are they empathetic? Are they going to

618
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:05,920
Speaker 1: be there for you when you get fired, when you

619
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:08,560
Speaker 1: lose a parent, when you lose a pet, when you

620
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:12,760
Speaker 1: feel low, when you're dealing with clinical depression. That is

621
00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:16,040
Speaker 1: where the beauty of having that person in your corners.

622
00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:20,240
Speaker 1: That is where uh that is you know, that's the

623
00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:23,400
Speaker 1: power and the importance of relationships. Are they going to

624
00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:27,280
Speaker 1: support your daughter and she starts to feel the pressure

625
00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:30,000
Speaker 1: of society on girls you should look like this and

626
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:31,920
Speaker 1: do this and do that. Are they going to say

627
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:35,440
Speaker 1: fuck all of that? That is what you want to

628
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:39,560
Speaker 1: look for. And the way that you know that most

629
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:42,840
Speaker 1: people are engaging on apps is not setting them up

630
00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 1: for those things. So that's so true because it's like

631
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:49,640
Speaker 1: you can either have the kind empathetic person or you

632
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:51,760
Speaker 1: could have the good own paper person. And it's like

633
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:54,440
Speaker 1: the good own paper person is fun at first, but

634
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:57,920
Speaker 1: it really never works out ultimately because you really want

635
00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:01,600
Speaker 1: if you're looking for a real, real relationship. That's been

636
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:04,920
Speaker 1: my experience. That's no, that's a hundred percent right. And listen,

637
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:08,680
Speaker 1: if you're looking for Saturday night, okay, like day, yeah,

638
00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:11,560
Speaker 1: frin day all right, But if you are looking for

639
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:16,200
Speaker 1: more than that, then you need to, you know, to

640
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:20,719
Speaker 1: change the way you maybe have been doing things. And

641
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:23,160
Speaker 1: you know, I also tell people like, let your let

642
00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:26,040
Speaker 1: your friends, like, let your friends take over for a minute.

643
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:28,680
Speaker 1: Let them take over for a minute and and see

644
00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:31,080
Speaker 1: what happens. Wait, how tell me what the dating scene

645
00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:35,280
Speaker 1: is like in like Nashville? How's that? I have no idea.

646
00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:39,399
Speaker 1: It hasn't been great for me, and and I don't

647
00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:42,280
Speaker 1: know that that's necessarily a result of the scene itself.

648
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:45,040
Speaker 1: I think it's probably some of my own hesitations and

649
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:48,919
Speaker 1: my own insecurities that are playing into it. Um. But

650
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:54,080
Speaker 1: the interaction that I have online is pretty slim too,

651
00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:56,560
Speaker 1: and I think it's it's probably because I'm doing it wrong.

652
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:05,359
Speaker 1: You know. By the way, Chip, there's a whole other

653
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:08,000
Speaker 1: we there. We should do a whole their conversation. Okay,

654
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:11,719
Speaker 1: if what the Straits could learn from the gays on

655
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:15,399
Speaker 1: dating interesting, they need to learn a little bit. They

656
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:18,080
Speaker 1: need to learn a little bit. The gays are also

657
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:22,600
Speaker 1: a lot looser though they are Uh maybe it's just

658
00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:28,640
Speaker 1: my gay friends. Well, I think there's an adventurous I mean, look,

659
00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:31,440
Speaker 1: I don't know the psychology behind it, but I feel

660
00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:36,000
Speaker 1: like the process of coming out and living in your truth, um,

661
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:37,960
Speaker 1: it sort of forces you to have to live with

662
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:40,640
Speaker 1: a little bit more risk and excitement. And because I

663
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:43,120
Speaker 1: think back to like all the time that I missed

664
00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:45,800
Speaker 1: when like my straight friend, I mean, I was dating

665
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:48,480
Speaker 1: as a straight person in high school, but it wasn't

666
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:51,319
Speaker 1: my truth. So I have I had a lot of

667
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:53,799
Speaker 1: catching up to do. So it's sort of forced that

668
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:56,279
Speaker 1: adventure because I had I had to learn things that

669
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:58,600
Speaker 1: I've never learned. So I wonder if some of that

670
00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:04,000
Speaker 1: plays into it. You said that so beautifully that so

671
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:08,319
Speaker 1: many people in the LGBT community had had um a

672
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:12,399
Speaker 1: challenging to say the least experience, and even the act

673
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:15,480
Speaker 1: of coming out makes you get very comfortable with with

674
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:19,359
Speaker 1: your truth and putting that out there. And and uh,

675
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:21,440
Speaker 1: you know it's funny. I just I just did an

676
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:25,440
Speaker 1: interview saying like working straight men learn from queer daters,

677
00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:28,960
Speaker 1: and I was like a lot, Oh got a lot um. Yeah,

678
00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:32,960
Speaker 1: and then all the help I feel, um, they do,

679
00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:39,080
Speaker 1: like they really, they really do. Well. You know what's

680
00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:40,719
Speaker 1: funny is I feel like a lot of straight men

681
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:43,439
Speaker 1: probably think that like the car, the money, the job,

682
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:47,399
Speaker 1: the neighborhood is what matters. Yeah, I mean it does

683
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:50,680
Speaker 1: to get a girl. Unfortunately, it's it's all of us

684
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:53,600
Speaker 1: playing into all the same stuff, and hopefully that's being

685
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:55,640
Speaker 1: rewired right now. I love that you guys are setting

686
00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:57,919
Speaker 1: up the things you are because I think that that

687
00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:01,239
Speaker 1: really helps us to take a d ber look into

688
00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:04,120
Speaker 1: what do we want, what actually matters to us? Like

689
00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:06,560
Speaker 1: it sounds like a dating app. I haven't done it yet,

690
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:09,160
Speaker 1: but I'm assuming it's going to be a really big,

691
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:12,200
Speaker 1: deep dive into myself, like asking myself what I like

692
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:14,360
Speaker 1: to do and really getting to know myself on a

693
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:17,160
Speaker 1: different level. It is. It is in the same way

694
00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:21,120
Speaker 1: that like angiograms are having a real moment. He okay,

695
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:24,600
Speaker 1: Cupid is because we're asking you. We're asking you this stuff,

696
00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:28,240
Speaker 1: and we worked with social psychologist and anthropologists and relationship

697
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:32,040
Speaker 1: experts to help develop our questions. But then you know,

698
00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:34,640
Speaker 1: when you when you slow down and you do think

699
00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:37,080
Speaker 1: about that and you think about what really matters to me,

700
00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:40,960
Speaker 1: you are gonna behave a little bit differently. And also

701
00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:43,120
Speaker 1: because it takes a few minutes to set up your

702
00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:45,640
Speaker 1: profile and not like ten seconds like on some maps

703
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:47,080
Speaker 1: you can set up your profile on ten seconds and

704
00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:50,560
Speaker 1: we think that's not like, you know, that's not our

705
00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:54,040
Speaker 1: game you do. It does help you weed out people that,

706
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:56,680
Speaker 1: um that are not that are just there for that

707
00:37:56,719 --> 00:37:58,640
Speaker 1: ego boost of like oh she swiped right on me,

708
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:02,759
Speaker 1: or like you know that's that is a thing. It's

709
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:07,719
Speaker 1: a thing. Um, So, how how are people meeting our

710
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:11,240
Speaker 1: people back to like meeting out and going out in Nashville?

711
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:16,120
Speaker 1: Is it getting it? Yeah? I mean it's been that way.

712
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:19,320
Speaker 1: It feels like for almost a year at this. Yeah.

713
00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:26,560
Speaker 1: People just wild like literally, it's sort of like that.

714
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:30,239
Speaker 1: Um yeah, So I mean people meet online. What do

715
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:33,839
Speaker 1: you have a certain amount of time you should be

716
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:37,360
Speaker 1: messaging with somebody before? Like if a dude drags it

717
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:39,000
Speaker 1: out and he's just messaging for a long time, when

718
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:42,839
Speaker 1: are you over it before? He actually asked, that's such

719
00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:46,160
Speaker 1: a good question. Yes, Okay, here's another rule. Do not

720
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 1: go two weeks of messaging okay before and then don't

721
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:53,000
Speaker 1: go longer than that before you meet up. Okay, So

722
00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 1: if he's just dragging a s feet kind of like

723
00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:57,440
Speaker 1: sucking around, he's probably gonna end up sending a dick

724
00:38:57,480 --> 00:39:00,960
Speaker 1: PI stuff like Okay, so we don't want to do

725
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:03,200
Speaker 1: anything with that dude. Don't do anything with that dude.

726
00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:06,720
Speaker 1: You know, he's either not that interested, maybe he's dating around.

727
00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:08,840
Speaker 1: You don't know, and you don't need to know the story.

728
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:10,399
Speaker 1: But if it's been at least if it's been two

729
00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:13,919
Speaker 1: weeks in messaging and there's no date, cut, cut and run.

730
00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:16,000
Speaker 1: We were once pitched in the reality show like, oh,

731
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:17,600
Speaker 1: these people met in a dating app, they fell in love,

732
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:19,439
Speaker 1: but they've never met in real life. And I said,

733
00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:22,239
Speaker 1: no way. If you have met someone in a dating

734
00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:24,799
Speaker 1: app and not met in real life and it's been

735
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:28,000
Speaker 1: a significant amount of time, there is never a good

736
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:32,360
Speaker 1: reason for that, right, And it's so shady, it's so shady.

737
00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:39,760
Speaker 1: He'ment country, Yeah, and COVID, like you live in London?

738
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:42,560
Speaker 1: Was this the US? That's a six hour flight? Come on?

739
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:45,239
Speaker 1: You can like, aren't you putting in things that it

740
00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:48,880
Speaker 1: would make someone close to you? Usually? Yes, usually looking

741
00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:52,280
Speaker 1: for someone in a different country. Yeah, Usually most people

742
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 1: are you know, it's like five mile radius in New York,

743
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:58,799
Speaker 1: Like two miles is like very far right brains to

744
00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:03,799
Speaker 1: get to your neighborhood deep Brooklyn. In in Nashville and

745
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:05,839
Speaker 1: like you know, California. It's not as bad as that.

746
00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 1: But more and more people are using are turning on

747
00:40:10,719 --> 00:40:14,080
Speaker 1: different modes and different dating apps. We let you meet

748
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:17,320
Speaker 1: people in other parts of the world. Maybe you're traveling there,

749
00:40:17,520 --> 00:40:21,120
Speaker 1: maybe you just are up for a new adventure. We

750
00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:24,839
Speaker 1: um travel seems to be effective. We have a really

751
00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:29,320
Speaker 1: good friend who is now in a serious relationship from that.

752
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:34,520
Speaker 1: That's amazing. It's happening more and more and because of COVID,

753
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:37,839
Speaker 1: covid has changed dating a little bit. The first thing

754
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:40,120
Speaker 1: that covid did and I love this, is it made

755
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:42,799
Speaker 1: the video date a first date like a real thing.

756
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:46,399
Speaker 1: Probably less prevalent in a place like Nashville where people

757
00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:50,280
Speaker 1: have been kind of like you know, back out there. Um,

758
00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:53,280
Speaker 1: but if you're a if you're a nurse, new crazy schedule,

759
00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:56,280
Speaker 1: or you're a doctor, or you're a single mom, and

760
00:40:56,680 --> 00:41:00,200
Speaker 1: getting like out on a date is more f eard

761
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:02,920
Speaker 1: and cost and all those things, you should do a

762
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:06,000
Speaker 1: video date first because your time and energy is too precious.

763
00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:08,719
Speaker 1: And you know in two minutes of that video date

764
00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:11,680
Speaker 1: if you this is not a good fit, or if

765
00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:14,520
Speaker 1: you want to meet them Saturday night. So that's it,

766
00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:17,560
Speaker 1: that's a good fit. Long Distance dating is more popular

767
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:21,480
Speaker 1: than it's ever been. That's that's covid. I've actually been

768
00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:25,960
Speaker 1: thinking about Chicago because it's an easy flight. Yes, yes,

769
00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:28,680
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, you should totally. I'm gonna hook you

770
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:34,399
Speaker 1: up on okay Cupid. I this is gonna be so fun. Wait,

771
00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:37,680
Speaker 1: I have another question. So, since I've never done a

772
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:39,600
Speaker 1: dating app, you know, I obviously have a lot of

773
00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:42,480
Speaker 1: nerves about that. And um, like I've said a million times,

774
00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:44,359
Speaker 1: I'm not ready yet, but there will come a day

775
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:46,560
Speaker 1: where I'm like, Okay, it's time to buy the bullet.

776
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:49,239
Speaker 1: Gotta do it. Um. And one thing I know about

777
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:52,239
Speaker 1: myself is before this last relationship, I can be a

778
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:55,160
Speaker 1: little shy, like when it comes to guys, especially, I'm

779
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:58,000
Speaker 1: a little timid, which people are a little surprised about.

780
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:01,319
Speaker 1: But I am and I don't necessarily like, uh like

781
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:03,520
Speaker 1: just throw myself out there. And so, do you have

782
00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:05,879
Speaker 1: any advice for someone who might be a little bit

783
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:09,080
Speaker 1: Let's just say timid about a dating app or shy

784
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:12,080
Speaker 1: as a human in general, Like, what would you say

785
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:14,319
Speaker 1: to those kind of people? Yeah, I love that you

786
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:19,400
Speaker 1: asked that question because the day that shows that most people,

787
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:23,759
Speaker 1: I think they're in that bucket. And really yeah, and

788
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:28,480
Speaker 1: I share that because when you tell yourself going in,

789
00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:33,640
Speaker 1: actually most people kind of feel this way. I it

790
00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:37,120
Speaker 1: already makes you feel a little bit more relaxed that

791
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:41,759
Speaker 1: it's actually only two or three percent of daters that

792
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:46,400
Speaker 1: are that feel like I got this. You know, I'm

793
00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:48,680
Speaker 1: I'm super extroverted. I can talk to anybody. But da

794
00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:51,680
Speaker 1: da da da, Like it's it's most people are not.

795
00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:54,239
Speaker 1: Do not feel that way going in? So know that

796
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:57,400
Speaker 1: and that I when I when I would hear that

797
00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:59,799
Speaker 1: as a single dater, I I always felt a little

798
00:42:59,840 --> 00:43:03,480
Speaker 1: bit better. Um. The other thing I would do is

799
00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:06,959
Speaker 1: is slow yourself down. Put put put stuff on your

800
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:11,120
Speaker 1: on your on your profile. That's going to make it

801
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:14,480
Speaker 1: easier for somebody to reach out to you with something great.

802
00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:18,359
Speaker 1: You know, put your angiogram on there too, like that

803
00:43:23,239 --> 00:43:29,080
Speaker 1: everything love it, I love it. Put put that on there,

804
00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:31,560
Speaker 1: and then here's your formulas. So here's another tip for

805
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:35,040
Speaker 1: Shida to a special here's your formula for the first message. Okay,

806
00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:40,200
Speaker 1: it's not hey, do not say hey that I'm messaging first.

807
00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:42,480
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I just gotta know because you are,

808
00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:45,920
Speaker 1: because listen, because you are messaging first, Kelly, if you're

809
00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:48,239
Speaker 1: already gonna do this, I'm gonna think. I'm gonna call

810
00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:54,839
Speaker 1: you like an intermediate advanced there, I'm a virgin, you are.

811
00:43:56,000 --> 00:44:00,200
Speaker 1: You're gonna message first because some of those wonderful full

812
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:03,759
Speaker 1: guys out there are shy. They are they are going

813
00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:08,399
Speaker 1: to think this girl is gorgeous. She has got so

814
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:12,439
Speaker 1: much going on. I am. I am intimidated to reach

815
00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:15,040
Speaker 1: out to her. So your assignment is going to be

816
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:17,840
Speaker 1: when you're ready. When you're ready, it's going to be

817
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:20,360
Speaker 1: to send that first message. And here's the formula for

818
00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:22,560
Speaker 1: the first message. It is not hey, you'll get that

819
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 1: will get ignored. It is a question about something on

820
00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:32,359
Speaker 1: their profile. And if you're a little more advanced, you're

821
00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:36,959
Speaker 1: gonna put You're gonna like debate something that they put

822
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:43,000
Speaker 1: on their profile to like in a funny way, like

823
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:48,920
Speaker 1: not aggressive. You you are like coming down, but in

824
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:51,719
Speaker 1: a in a clever way. So let's say I'm not

825
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:57,720
Speaker 1: like like your political your political view suck like okay,

826
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:01,000
Speaker 1: that is down baldemoc to see what you just put

827
00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:05,719
Speaker 1: them yet and now. But if they say, um, you know,

828
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:08,719
Speaker 1: maybe they have something about Like you know, you can

829
00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:10,839
Speaker 1: catch me with a margarite on a Saturday night. You

830
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:18,239
Speaker 1: might say, uh, hey, hey Scott, like, um, okay, so

831
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:24,520
Speaker 1: is the margarita at Tony's or is it at Exicona Girl?

832
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:28,080
Speaker 1: Like You're gonna. You're gonna because that says to him,

833
00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:31,640
Speaker 1: you read his profile, you you you saw something, and

834
00:45:31,719 --> 00:45:34,400
Speaker 1: because you asked a question, you're giving him something to

835
00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:38,319
Speaker 1: respond to. Yeah, right like that. I definitely know that

836
00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:41,239
Speaker 1: at least with conversation in general, that would be like

837
00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:43,080
Speaker 1: like on the podcast, I have really good experience with

838
00:45:43,120 --> 00:45:45,480
Speaker 1: this because you can't just say these things to people

839
00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:50,040
Speaker 1: without prompting them with something that you're saying that elicits

840
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:53,280
Speaker 1: a response or you're asking them a question about themselves.

841
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:56,520
Speaker 1: And pretty much everyone can talk about themselves to some degree,

842
00:45:57,239 --> 00:46:00,520
Speaker 1: to some degree, and in research shows that, and you

843
00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:04,000
Speaker 1: get someone to talk about themselves, they're you know, they're

844
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:08,520
Speaker 1: releasing those endorphins, they're feeling better, they're more likely to

845
00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:11,960
Speaker 1: kind of lean in so um and you know, and

846
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:15,560
Speaker 1: there's no magic. There's no magic thing you can do

847
00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:18,520
Speaker 1: when you're especially feeling shy or you're new to it

848
00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:21,160
Speaker 1: or you know, let's say you have you know, you

849
00:46:21,239 --> 00:46:24,239
Speaker 1: haven't put yourself out there in a while. If there's

850
00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:29,040
Speaker 1: no um, you know, I wish there was like an easier,

851
00:46:29,480 --> 00:46:33,239
Speaker 1: gentler shortcut to that. But I just say, and don't

852
00:46:33,280 --> 00:46:36,439
Speaker 1: wait till you because you'll never be there. You'll never

853
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:43,160
Speaker 1: be be like ninety nine two, be like Okay, I'm still,

854
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:47,799
Speaker 1: I'm still but you know. And then I I kind

855
00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:49,359
Speaker 1: of had when I was single in New York City.

856
00:46:49,440 --> 00:46:53,480
Speaker 1: I I I enjoy dating, but I had this mentality of,

857
00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:56,080
Speaker 1: you know, at the very least, I'm gonna learn this

858
00:46:56,120 --> 00:47:01,360
Speaker 1: person that sounds really interesting, and I'm I'm gonna learn about, uh,

859
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:03,600
Speaker 1: what it was like to grow up in Milan. I don't,

860
00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:07,399
Speaker 1: you know whatever, have an attitude. And I do think

861
00:47:07,440 --> 00:47:09,839
Speaker 1: that what you put out there, you know, you you

862
00:47:09,880 --> 00:47:13,200
Speaker 1: do attract some of that. It doesn't mean that this

863
00:47:13,239 --> 00:47:15,319
Speaker 1: guy's an asshole and so therefore you were putting out

864
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:18,239
Speaker 1: like asshole vibes. But um, you know, I think when

865
00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:20,080
Speaker 1: you go in with it with that attitude of like

866
00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:23,080
Speaker 1: wanting to genuinely wanting to get to know someone and

867
00:47:23,120 --> 00:47:26,080
Speaker 1: maybe there's a spark there and maybe there isn't. You know,

868
00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:29,720
Speaker 1: you're taking the pressure off a little bit. It doesn't

869
00:47:29,719 --> 00:47:31,480
Speaker 1: have to be the love of your life. You're just

870
00:47:31,760 --> 00:47:35,279
Speaker 1: curious about another human being. Yeah, you're curious another being.

871
00:47:35,320 --> 00:47:37,600
Speaker 1: You're you're going in to have a good glass of wine,

872
00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:41,480
Speaker 1: a good margarita and and have a good conversation and

873
00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:44,920
Speaker 1: maybe it leads somewhere. And so that's the other thing

874
00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:48,560
Speaker 1: for shy daters is take that pressure off you. You know,

875
00:47:48,840 --> 00:47:51,279
Speaker 1: it's a drink And that's another thing, is like make

876
00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:54,320
Speaker 1: that first date like a drink or a coffee, yeah,

877
00:47:54,719 --> 00:47:57,520
Speaker 1: not a dinner. Yeah, but you're not trapped, you know.

878
00:47:57,680 --> 00:48:02,840
Speaker 1: I'm thinking back to her saying, you take the first move, Kelly, Uh, well,

879
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:05,239
Speaker 1: you know what, I think the reason why it's a

880
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:07,200
Speaker 1: good idea for you to do it is because the

881
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:09,440
Speaker 1: guys who are going to be willing to be the

882
00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:11,760
Speaker 1: ones who take the first move are like the bucked

883
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:16,759
Speaker 1: up stallions that like think they always where. It's like

884
00:48:17,560 --> 00:48:20,040
Speaker 1: you opening the door to someone who might be shy.

885
00:48:20,520 --> 00:48:22,279
Speaker 1: You're like, holy sh it, I just met like this

886
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:25,359
Speaker 1: really nice dude, you might not who might have thought

887
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:28,720
Speaker 1: you were out of his league. Okay, you know, even

888
00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:36,799
Speaker 1: that is exactly right. That's so true because we all

889
00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:39,400
Speaker 1: have such skewed views of ourselves and like how we

890
00:48:39,520 --> 00:48:43,280
Speaker 1: look at what other people think of us. So I've

891
00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:45,880
Speaker 1: always what I've loved about online dating is I mean,

892
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:47,520
Speaker 1: I will talk to me, I'll talk to a lightful

893
00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:50,799
Speaker 1: like I can. So I'm the same thing when you said, like,

894
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:53,320
Speaker 1: I don't know, go to dinner or a drink or whatever,

895
00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:55,560
Speaker 1: like you might learn what it's like growing up in Milan, like,

896
00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:58,160
Speaker 1: or you might make a good friend. And one of

897
00:48:58,239 --> 00:48:59,879
Speaker 1: the things that I've always struggled with is I don't

898
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:02,040
Speaker 1: have a ton of gay friends. So it's like on

899
00:49:02,120 --> 00:49:04,799
Speaker 1: my profile on all the profiles that I have on

900
00:49:04,840 --> 00:49:07,720
Speaker 1: the various sites, I say I'm also open to friendship,

901
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:11,879
Speaker 1: but like no one ever, like no one's ever like, hey,

902
00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:14,799
Speaker 1: I'm looking for friends too. So it's it's like I

903
00:49:14,840 --> 00:49:17,360
Speaker 1: have to be wary about how far I take things

904
00:49:17,440 --> 00:49:22,439
Speaker 1: if it's not someone who I'm interested in physically or romantically,

905
00:49:22,640 --> 00:49:25,200
Speaker 1: because I don't want to lead anybody on either. And

906
00:49:25,239 --> 00:49:29,439
Speaker 1: it's just like so I feel like a little disingenuous

907
00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:32,160
Speaker 1: having that in there saying I'm looking for friends. When

908
00:49:32,600 --> 00:49:34,560
Speaker 1: someone's like, well, I thought you were just looking for friends,

909
00:49:34,600 --> 00:49:36,960
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, you never even indicated that's what you wanted,

910
00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:39,960
Speaker 1: you know, And I say in my profile, like, if

911
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:42,000
Speaker 1: that's what you're looking for, please lead with that, because

912
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:44,040
Speaker 1: it needs to be clear, it needs to be there.

913
00:49:44,160 --> 00:49:46,520
Speaker 1: That's really good. I think it's great that you have

914
00:49:46,640 --> 00:49:48,640
Speaker 1: that in there and then you say like, please lead

915
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:50,520
Speaker 1: with it. And by the way, that's another thing that's

916
00:49:50,520 --> 00:49:54,160
Speaker 1: been happening and COVID accelerated that is people being really

917
00:49:54,239 --> 00:49:59,200
Speaker 1: upfront and direct in their profile summary. They'll say, hey,

918
00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:03,239
Speaker 1: I I'm looking for the real deal, Please don't reach

919
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:06,440
Speaker 1: out if you're not, or I want kids, and that's

920
00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:10,759
Speaker 1: a nonstarters. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I'm um. We have a

921
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:14,399
Speaker 1: lot of people that are, you know, putting out their

922
00:50:14,480 --> 00:50:17,399
Speaker 1: upfront that they're sober, which I think is wonderful. Like

923
00:50:17,840 --> 00:50:21,520
Speaker 1: I'm sober. It's not an issue for me, but I yeah,

924
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:24,560
Speaker 1: I've thought about that because I've recently like I don't

925
00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:26,560
Speaker 1: know if I'll be sober forever, but I'm not drinking

926
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:29,400
Speaker 1: right now and I'm kind of more sober curious, and

927
00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:31,240
Speaker 1: I've told ship. I'm like, oh my god, I've never

928
00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:34,640
Speaker 1: dated without alcohol being involved, and it's such a thing.

929
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:36,959
Speaker 1: It's just like, let's go grab a drink, like you said.

930
00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:39,680
Speaker 1: And so it does start to put this extra pressure

931
00:50:39,719 --> 00:50:41,560
Speaker 1: even on it too, because you're like, is that a

932
00:50:41,560 --> 00:50:44,040
Speaker 1: deal breaker for people? Because I don't care if other

933
00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:47,640
Speaker 1: people drink. It's just something that's for me better. My

934
00:50:47,719 --> 00:51:02,800
Speaker 1: friend drink a lot. Yeah, I love it. I think

935
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:06,319
Speaker 1: that is beautiful and I think I think I think

936
00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:08,719
Speaker 1: you should set that. Yeah, it's just a part of

937
00:51:08,920 --> 00:51:10,640
Speaker 1: I guess yeah, because I wouldn't want to show up

938
00:51:10,680 --> 00:51:12,239
Speaker 1: for a drink. And then I'm like, let's take a

939
00:51:12,239 --> 00:51:14,920
Speaker 1: club soda And they're like, wait, what I mean that

940
00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:18,160
Speaker 1: that feels like yeah, or it just feels like it

941
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:20,560
Speaker 1: makes other people uncomfortable, like I've talked about a lot,

942
00:51:20,600 --> 00:51:22,000
Speaker 1: and so I could imagine if you're on a date,

943
00:51:22,040 --> 00:51:24,880
Speaker 1: it would feel a little misleading if you didn't. I

944
00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:26,920
Speaker 1: don't know. I just put it out there, especially if

945
00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:30,000
Speaker 1: like the data is let's grab drinks, right, You're like,

946
00:51:30,120 --> 00:51:32,920
Speaker 1: I'll have water. Well, I mean, and I would be like, okay, cool,

947
00:51:33,040 --> 00:51:37,400
Speaker 1: because yeah, I will drink water. But that's a drink.

948
00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:41,399
Speaker 1: But yeah, it just makes other people more uncomfortable really

949
00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:44,920
Speaker 1: that it makes me. Yeah, and I and more and

950
00:51:45,040 --> 00:51:48,520
Speaker 1: more and more daters are putting I'm sober curious or

951
00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:51,480
Speaker 1: I'm sobering, or hey, I'll meet up for a drink,

952
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:53,800
Speaker 1: but you'll catch me with like the most clever mocktail

953
00:51:53,800 --> 00:51:59,000
Speaker 1: at the bar. Yeah, because I think again, it's it's

954
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:03,920
Speaker 1: a reflective of of who you are. And uh yeah,

955
00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:07,520
Speaker 1: but so did that was the pandemic a big push

956
00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:09,919
Speaker 1: for people really just owning who they are a little

957
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:12,799
Speaker 1: bit more like just cutting the bullshit. Here it is,

958
00:52:13,239 --> 00:52:15,560
Speaker 1: this is what I like, this is about me, this

959
00:52:15,600 --> 00:52:17,160
Speaker 1: is what I'm looking for. I mean, did you guys

960
00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:20,200
Speaker 1: see a rise in that after the pandemic. Unbelievable. It

961
00:52:20,280 --> 00:52:22,600
Speaker 1: was so interesting and it happened in every way. It

962
00:52:22,719 --> 00:52:26,920
Speaker 1: happened with people saying what they wanted in their profile.

963
00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:31,040
Speaker 1: It happened with sexuality and orientation. So we had an

964
00:52:32,120 --> 00:52:36,759
Speaker 1: increase um in data is identifying as pan sexual and

965
00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:41,560
Speaker 1: if pan sexual is bisexuals, I'm attracted to men um

966
00:52:41,600 --> 00:52:45,800
Speaker 1: and women. It doesn't allow for what if someone's non binary,

967
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:48,480
Speaker 1: And so so many people say, oh well it is

968
00:52:48,520 --> 00:52:50,960
Speaker 1: it actually is about the human it's not about the gender.

969
00:52:51,200 --> 00:52:54,560
Speaker 1: And pan sexual is a better a better word to

970
00:52:54,640 --> 00:52:58,439
Speaker 1: describe who I am. So we had and like we've

971
00:52:58,440 --> 00:53:00,279
Speaker 1: been around the twenty years, we've never seen an like

972
00:53:00,280 --> 00:53:03,440
Speaker 1: that in the history of like okay cupid um. You

973
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:05,880
Speaker 1: have people say, I really do want kids. This is

974
00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:08,200
Speaker 1: a deal breaker and I've never turned that on. But

975
00:53:08,239 --> 00:53:11,160
Speaker 1: I have nothing to lose, you know some people, right,

976
00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:13,359
Speaker 1: some of us feel like we lost like two years

977
00:53:13,400 --> 00:53:16,120
Speaker 1: in the pandemic because it was hard to date or

978
00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:19,320
Speaker 1: you know, whatever is going on. Maybe more so in

979
00:53:19,560 --> 00:53:21,600
Speaker 1: cities like New York, killing in Chicago, we're okay cupid

980
00:53:21,760 --> 00:53:25,960
Speaker 1: is um is also popular. So but yeah, it did

981
00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:29,799
Speaker 1: make people really think about what they wanted. And that's

982
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:31,680
Speaker 1: why it's a good time to date too, because they're

983
00:53:31,719 --> 00:53:34,440
Speaker 1: just they're very motivated. They really you know, people say

984
00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:38,879
Speaker 1: to me, I'm skin hungry, like just touch, I want

985
00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:41,560
Speaker 1: to be touched, I wanna want to get it on.

986
00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:45,839
Speaker 1: I want to go soon on a Sunday morning, and

987
00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:48,480
Speaker 1: so it's really there are a lot of people. This

988
00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:50,640
Speaker 1: is the other thing that should be helpful for for

989
00:53:50,719 --> 00:53:54,799
Speaker 1: shy folks are like virgin dating app folks is there's

990
00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:57,600
Speaker 1: a lot of first timers out there. There's a lot

991
00:53:57,719 --> 00:54:01,080
Speaker 1: of that that does help to hear your oh my god,

992
00:54:01,200 --> 00:54:02,440
Speaker 1: and like, you know, I saw it. I saw a

993
00:54:02,480 --> 00:54:05,319
Speaker 1: profile okay, keep it this morning of a guy, um

994
00:54:05,400 --> 00:54:09,720
Speaker 1: in Chicago. He was straight, and he's like, hey, guys,

995
00:54:09,719 --> 00:54:11,440
Speaker 1: like a long time listener, first time color And I

996
00:54:11,480 --> 00:54:14,480
Speaker 1: was like, that's cute, that's funny. And then he's like,

997
00:54:14,600 --> 00:54:16,920
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm giving this ago. It's the first time.

998
00:54:16,920 --> 00:54:19,480
Speaker 1: I'm like trying a dating app, like I you know,

999
00:54:19,560 --> 00:54:21,360
Speaker 1: and then he's like, I work as a lawyer, but

1000
00:54:21,440 --> 00:54:23,520
Speaker 1: I am really passionate about you know, I don't know

1001
00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:25,880
Speaker 1: what he's passionate about, but um, but it was really

1002
00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:28,200
Speaker 1: you know, so even saying stuff like that in your

1003
00:54:28,239 --> 00:54:33,319
Speaker 1: profile has become really, um, really common and uh and

1004
00:54:33,360 --> 00:54:35,920
Speaker 1: again I think just a nice you know, I mean

1005
00:54:36,040 --> 00:54:38,120
Speaker 1: I immediately felt like reading that profile, like okay, like

1006
00:54:39,040 --> 00:54:41,120
Speaker 1: he's a little like a lot like most people, is

1007
00:54:41,120 --> 00:54:43,359
Speaker 1: a little like a little uncomfortable, a little vulnerable mons

1008
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:48,360
Speaker 1: put stuff out there. But like, you know, he's not, um,

1009
00:54:48,400 --> 00:54:52,239
Speaker 1: you know, he's not gonna like be the most romantic, confident,

1010
00:54:52,920 --> 00:54:57,719
Speaker 1: like smooth guy. And that's okay. Because you know, it

1011
00:54:57,760 --> 00:55:00,239
Speaker 1: feels like I'm dealing with someone pretty genuine. What do

1012
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:02,759
Speaker 1: you mean say funny? I was thinking about like what

1013
00:55:02,840 --> 00:55:04,880
Speaker 1: I could have as an open line that's like elephant

1014
00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:08,040
Speaker 1: in the room. I'm single, you know, because everyone on

1015
00:55:08,120 --> 00:55:13,759
Speaker 1: the love that so cute. I love that tm it

1016
00:55:13,920 --> 00:55:16,480
Speaker 1: write it down now to I love this. Listeners are

1017
00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:18,839
Speaker 1: going to steal it from you. Um, what would you say?

1018
00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:21,720
Speaker 1: Because you know we have we have actually some serious

1019
00:55:21,760 --> 00:55:23,720
Speaker 1: success stories in our friend grave. We have a friend

1020
00:55:23,760 --> 00:55:26,440
Speaker 1: getting married from meeting someone on a dating app during

1021
00:55:26,480 --> 00:55:29,520
Speaker 1: the pandemic, another friend in a very serious relationship, and

1022
00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:32,880
Speaker 1: then we have another friend who's a dude that just

1023
00:55:32,920 --> 00:55:37,120
Speaker 1: says they're bullshit and he hates them, and um, do

1024
00:55:37,160 --> 00:55:40,200
Speaker 1: you feel like their dating mentalities were a little different? Ship?

1025
00:55:40,280 --> 00:55:42,520
Speaker 1: Would you agree? I mean I've seen the people that

1026
00:55:42,560 --> 00:55:50,120
Speaker 1: he's swiping right on and it's like every okay, So

1027
00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:53,200
Speaker 1: do you think like an overall like for the people

1028
00:55:53,280 --> 00:55:56,200
Speaker 1: that are just like, oh, dating app suck? Is it

1029
00:55:56,640 --> 00:55:59,120
Speaker 1: maybe some of the stuff we've talked about the main

1030
00:55:59,160 --> 00:56:02,839
Speaker 1: thing or like what your biggest success stories? Is there

1031
00:56:02,880 --> 00:56:06,040
Speaker 1: just one quick recipe that you can give us, you know,

1032
00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:09,760
Speaker 1: it's what I'll say is this, People have hated dating

1033
00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:13,960
Speaker 1: since the dawn of time, and I think people forget that.

1034
00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:17,800
Speaker 1: And yes, I work at a dating app, but it um,

1035
00:56:17,960 --> 00:56:21,759
Speaker 1: no one in the history of like creation has liked

1036
00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:27,160
Speaker 1: dating or courtship. And um, there is a lot that

1037
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:31,560
Speaker 1: is really fucked up about the way that we engage

1038
00:56:31,719 --> 00:56:37,560
Speaker 1: and and behavior is bad for sure, but um, there

1039
00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:41,799
Speaker 1: are way there are so many success stories and so

1040
00:56:41,840 --> 00:56:48,040
Speaker 1: many beautiful connections of love and and um it you

1041
00:56:48,080 --> 00:56:51,880
Speaker 1: know it's it also wouldn't be a big business if

1042
00:56:51,920 --> 00:56:55,520
Speaker 1: it didn't work, like it wouldn't it would not write,

1043
00:56:55,760 --> 00:56:59,160
Speaker 1: would not not have all these friends we all know,

1044
00:56:59,360 --> 00:57:00,960
Speaker 1: like when someone says I hate dating apps, and like,

1045
00:57:01,120 --> 00:57:03,160
Speaker 1: how many people do you know that have their personatement

1046
00:57:03,200 --> 00:57:05,160
Speaker 1: under dat apps? Like oh no, no, no, no, no, no, okay,

1047
00:57:05,160 --> 00:57:07,879
Speaker 1: actually yeah, fair enough and and and then I also

1048
00:57:07,960 --> 00:57:10,399
Speaker 1: say things, you know, I grew up in Indiana. If

1049
00:57:10,440 --> 00:57:12,480
Speaker 1: you were getting Indiana like a dating app was like,

1050
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:18,360
Speaker 1: you're right, if you're a single mom, you are not

1051
00:57:18,480 --> 00:57:21,640
Speaker 1: going hard every night, right. So I also think it's

1052
00:57:21,640 --> 00:57:25,880
Speaker 1: important to remember that there are communities and and and

1053
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:29,480
Speaker 1: cohorts of people that this is a safe way to

1054
00:57:29,640 --> 00:57:33,280
Speaker 1: find and meet somebody and and maybe the only way

1055
00:57:33,480 --> 00:57:35,080
Speaker 1: right And and part of the reason why dating apps

1056
00:57:35,080 --> 00:57:37,440
Speaker 1: need to exist is a really fucking awesome reason, and

1057
00:57:37,560 --> 00:57:40,080
Speaker 1: that is that women do not have to get married

1058
00:57:40,440 --> 00:57:42,360
Speaker 1: the minute they get out of high school. And that

1059
00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:45,160
Speaker 1: is because women are having jobs and having careers and

1060
00:57:45,280 --> 00:57:47,600
Speaker 1: all those things, right, And that is because we have,

1061
00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:53,040
Speaker 1: um finally had an LGBTQ moment in this country where

1062
00:57:53,160 --> 00:57:54,720
Speaker 1: you can marry who you want to marry, and you

1063
00:57:54,800 --> 00:57:56,840
Speaker 1: can bably want to be with, and you can be

1064
00:57:56,880 --> 00:57:58,640
Speaker 1: in an open relationship, you can do whatever you you know,

1065
00:57:58,680 --> 00:58:00,960
Speaker 1: you can do whatever you want to do. And there's

1066
00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:03,080
Speaker 1: still we still have some progress to make in those ways,

1067
00:58:03,200 --> 00:58:08,080
Speaker 1: but UM dating apps will facilitate those connections. And so

1068
00:58:08,800 --> 00:58:12,960
Speaker 1: you know the the I think in some there are

1069
00:58:13,240 --> 00:58:15,960
Speaker 1: there are shitty people out there for sure, and if

1070
00:58:16,040 --> 00:58:18,200
Speaker 1: we could figure out how to kick them all off

1071
00:58:18,280 --> 00:58:23,720
Speaker 1: the app, like, we would definitely do that. But you know,

1072
00:58:23,960 --> 00:58:27,680
Speaker 1: it's interesting, we thought about one or two apps have

1073
00:58:27,880 --> 00:58:32,560
Speaker 1: tried that with very mixed UM results. In some cases,

1074
00:58:32,640 --> 00:58:35,960
Speaker 1: what was happening is when guys were rejected, they were

1075
00:58:36,040 --> 00:58:40,720
Speaker 1: writing bad reviews. Right. I actually think it's a good

1076
00:58:40,760 --> 00:58:44,160
Speaker 1: practice in your own discernment and learning to trust yourself. Yeah,

1077
00:58:44,600 --> 00:58:48,920
Speaker 1: oh I like that, thank you what I'm telling myself

1078
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:51,120
Speaker 1: at least when I get in there and I'm like, oh,

1079
00:58:51,200 --> 00:58:55,320
Speaker 1: that guy is such a dude. Well, and you know,

1080
00:58:55,640 --> 00:58:58,200
Speaker 1: you also can't be hard on yourself too, because some

1081
00:58:58,320 --> 00:59:02,760
Speaker 1: people are good at being chameleons, right. I think that

1082
00:59:03,880 --> 00:59:07,560
Speaker 1: what what we can do a better job of is

1083
00:59:08,160 --> 00:59:10,960
Speaker 1: like reading those signs. The guy's not going to say

1084
00:59:11,080 --> 00:59:13,959
Speaker 1: I'm a little flaky, I'm dating around. I'm not that sure.

1085
00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:18,960
Speaker 1: But does he take four days to respond to your text? Okay?

1086
00:59:19,360 --> 00:59:24,040
Speaker 1: You know? You know the one The one thing people

1087
00:59:24,120 --> 00:59:26,000
Speaker 1: can't hide that I always love to talk about is

1088
00:59:26,040 --> 00:59:28,400
Speaker 1: they're spelling. Like if you don't know the difference between

1089
00:59:28,480 --> 00:59:33,760
Speaker 1: your your yes, I'm like left about I'm out. I

1090
00:59:34,080 --> 00:59:36,120
Speaker 1: give people the benefit of the doubt, but if it's

1091
00:59:36,120 --> 00:59:40,120
Speaker 1: a repeated thing and their profile, I'm like, no, I can't. So.

1092
00:59:40,320 --> 00:59:42,280
Speaker 1: I mean and that that you don't know if you

1093
00:59:42,360 --> 00:59:45,560
Speaker 1: meet somebody that's hot at a bar, you know that's

1094
00:59:45,600 --> 00:59:48,000
Speaker 1: true and I know they're good or not if a

1095
00:59:48,040 --> 00:59:50,320
Speaker 1: good thing, but like that to me is like that

1096
00:59:50,520 --> 00:59:54,640
Speaker 1: drives me crazy. Yes, do you know? That's and that

1097
00:59:54,840 --> 00:59:57,400
Speaker 1: I think that's I think that's awesome. You're an intelligent,

1098
00:59:57,520 --> 01:00:01,000
Speaker 1: interesting guy. You need somebody it knows the difference between

1099
01:00:01,040 --> 01:00:04,720
Speaker 1: your and your I agree with yes. And don't you

1100
01:00:04,880 --> 01:00:11,360
Speaker 1: dare come near Chip with a green text? No? No, no,

1101
01:00:11,600 --> 01:00:15,280
Speaker 1: you know I'm right though, you know I'm right. That's all.

1102
01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:18,200
Speaker 1: I could make an exception if they're an exceptional person,

1103
01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:21,880
Speaker 1: but they would like my god, I'm gonna can I'm

1104
01:00:21,880 --> 01:00:27,640
Speaker 1: gonna cancel this date? Can you move the text? Oh

1105
01:00:27,840 --> 01:00:29,919
Speaker 1: my god? Well I think we know what we're doing

1106
01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:33,280
Speaker 1: this weekend. Chip, I'm on your okay, keep it profile.

1107
01:00:33,840 --> 01:00:36,920
Speaker 1: I can't wait and and I'm ready. I am reaching

1108
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:41,760
Speaker 1: directly out to you to help. Please do listen. You

1109
01:00:41,880 --> 01:00:43,720
Speaker 1: two are so lovely and I had so much fun

1110
01:00:43,800 --> 01:00:46,520
Speaker 1: talking about this and Chip, I want to I want

1111
01:00:46,520 --> 01:00:48,760
Speaker 1: to see that profile. Okay, please, I want you to

1112
01:00:48,840 --> 01:00:52,880
Speaker 1: help me make it. Yes, Okay, we're gonna We're gonna

1113
01:00:52,920 --> 01:00:55,040
Speaker 1: send it your way and Kelly, whenever you're ready, I

1114
01:00:55,280 --> 01:00:57,600
Speaker 1: have your side. We so appreciate that, and I know

1115
01:00:57,680 --> 01:00:59,720
Speaker 1: our listeners appreciate all the tips you gave them today.

1116
01:00:59,720 --> 01:01:02,640
Speaker 1: I'll be okay. Cupid is the app to download you guys,

1117
01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:05,120
Speaker 1: but Melissa will you tell other people where they can

1118
01:01:05,280 --> 01:01:07,040
Speaker 1: find you. If you know, I know you do a

1119
01:01:07,120 --> 01:01:09,000
Speaker 1: lot of things like the Today's Show. You're always giving

1120
01:01:09,080 --> 01:01:11,720
Speaker 1: dating advice. So where can we keep up with you? Yeah? Oh,

1121
01:01:11,920 --> 01:01:15,200
Speaker 1: follow me on Twitter, Instagram. It's Melissa Hobley. Um h

1122
01:01:15,280 --> 01:01:17,600
Speaker 1: O b l e y h O b l e y.

1123
01:01:17,640 --> 01:01:19,600
Speaker 1: And I'll put all of this in the description you guys.

1124
01:01:19,800 --> 01:01:22,600
Speaker 1: I hope that we're helping the people find some dating.

1125
01:01:22,680 --> 01:01:27,040
Speaker 1: If we have any success stories from the podcast, yes,

1126
01:01:27,400 --> 01:01:30,000
Speaker 1: send it our way. Oh my god, I want we

1127
01:01:30,080 --> 01:01:31,920
Speaker 1: want to hear about this. If there are some success

1128
01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:35,680
Speaker 1: stories out there, we will cover your honeymoon or your date.

1129
01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:42,120
Speaker 1: If that is motivation for me exactly. Here we go

1130
01:01:46,200 --> 01:01:49,920
Speaker 1: Game one. Melissa, thank you so much. This was truly helpful,

1131
01:01:49,960 --> 01:01:52,000
Speaker 1: I think for both of us and really hope for

1132
01:01:52,040 --> 01:01:53,840
Speaker 1: the listeners. You guys got some really good tips about

1133
01:01:53,880 --> 01:01:56,800
Speaker 1: your profiles, things to do. Dating apps are clearly the

1134
01:01:56,840 --> 01:01:59,280
Speaker 1: way to go these days, so keep up the good

1135
01:01:59,320 --> 01:02:02,080
Speaker 1: work with that. And Melissa, thank you. We really appreciate

1136
01:02:02,120 --> 01:02:04,040
Speaker 1: you being here. Thank you guys so much. This was

1137
01:02:04,080 --> 01:02:07,600
Speaker 1: the most one conversation. You two are lovely and let's

1138
01:02:07,600 --> 01:02:11,040
Speaker 1: find someone half as awesome as Chip and then whenever

1139
01:02:11,080 --> 01:02:17,040
Speaker 1: you already half for three four three whatever. All right,

1140
01:02:17,160 --> 01:02:18,160
Speaker 1: thank you guys so much,