WEBVTT - Don't Go in the Billy Joel Door with Rachel True 0:00:02.800 --> 0:00:08.000 It's three fifteen am in PACIFICA and you're listening to 0:00:08.160 --> 0:00:31.560 Night Call. Hello, and welcome to night Call, a podcast 0:00:31.600 --> 0:00:34.599 for your strange days and lonely nights. I'm Molly Lambert, 0:00:34.680 --> 0:00:38.200 and here with me in Los Angeles is Test Lynch. 0:00:38.400 --> 0:00:42.199 And over in New York we have Emily Oshida and 0:00:42.440 --> 0:00:45.080 joining us today, also from Los Angeles, we have a 0:00:45.200 --> 0:00:49.720 very special guest, Rachel True. Hi. Actually I'm from New York, 0:00:51.720 --> 0:00:53.960 but I live here and I'm a night owl, so 0:00:54.040 --> 0:00:56.320 thank you for having me a night Wow, this is 0:00:56.360 --> 0:01:01.120 like a broadcast only accent. I love it. I was 0:01:01.200 --> 0:01:03.360 just in New York and I literally turned into your 0:01:03.400 --> 0:01:08.320 Jewish grandpa when that's my actual patois to be honest, 0:01:09.880 --> 0:01:13.080 h No, what were you doing? I was like doing, 0:01:13.120 --> 0:01:16.560 Oh wish you might have heard. I put up a 0:01:16.560 --> 0:01:18.680 little bit of a something on Twitter a couple of 0:01:18.680 --> 0:01:21.280 months ago or not about I'm being excluded from something. 0:01:21.360 --> 0:01:24.399 So I went and did an event last month that 0:01:24.520 --> 0:01:27.160 I forced people to invite me to and it turned 0:01:27.160 --> 0:01:29.560 out well for everyone. Yeah, do you want can we 0:01:29.600 --> 0:01:31.360 talk about them a little a little bit? I'm sure 0:01:31.360 --> 0:01:35.560 it's really boring, but no, it's not so Rachel was 0:01:35.600 --> 0:01:39.080 talking about how there was a convention, horror convention that 0:01:39.200 --> 0:01:41.840 was supposed to be a reunion of the Craft, which 0:01:41.880 --> 0:01:46.040 Rachel is in an integral member of the coven in um, 0:01:46.080 --> 0:01:49.600 and they invited all the other girls and not her, 0:01:49.800 --> 0:01:52.840 and she called them out on Twitter rightfully, saying, hey, 0:01:52.880 --> 0:01:55.520 you guys didn't invite the one black girl in the 0:01:55.600 --> 0:01:57.600 group to be part of the group, and like this 0:01:57.680 --> 0:02:00.400 used to happen during the press tour in the movie 0:02:00.400 --> 0:02:03.800 came out. I didn't know people read my tweets. That 0:02:03.840 --> 0:02:06.840 is how I learned that people actually read my tweets. Um. 0:02:07.120 --> 0:02:10.560 I didn't really think anyway, nobody cares about my tweets. 0:02:10.560 --> 0:02:14.880 So I was very surprised that people responded um and 0:02:14.919 --> 0:02:18.120 it resonated with them. And let me be clear too, 0:02:18.160 --> 0:02:21.399 because conventions are, you know, this sort of world where 0:02:21.440 --> 0:02:23.359 you go and you meet people and you sign autographs 0:02:23.360 --> 0:02:25.560 and it's very surreal. The first one I did literally 0:02:25.560 --> 0:02:29.760 every picture, I'm like, what are you doing? So then 0:02:30.360 --> 0:02:32.760 I haven't done terribly many, but with this particular one, 0:02:32.800 --> 0:02:35.119 the party line was no, no, no, Rachel, it's it's 0:02:35.120 --> 0:02:38.240 not a reunion. We just have uh Nev's there. Because 0:02:38.280 --> 0:02:40.720 of scream, uh for rus is just there because you 0:02:40.720 --> 0:02:42.040 were supposed to be there the year before, and Robin, 0:02:42.040 --> 0:02:44.560 who's never done it in a horror movie is is 0:02:44.600 --> 0:02:47.399 there because it's our first one. But it's not a reunion, 0:02:47.480 --> 0:02:49.880 and if it was, of course we'd want you there. 0:02:49.919 --> 0:02:53.120 I heard this from so many fucking people that I 0:02:53.200 --> 0:02:55.400 finally well, what I finally said is, yeah, you know 0:02:55.520 --> 0:02:58.080 it's not a reunion because you fucking won't invite me. 0:02:58.120 --> 0:03:03.919 Oh can I swear? I'm gonna try to be better? 0:03:04.160 --> 0:03:07.280 But I had to explain to lots of my fabulous 0:03:07.280 --> 0:03:10.440 white friends too, No, No, it's you're missing the point. 0:03:11.000 --> 0:03:13.320 It would be a reunion if they would invite me. 0:03:13.360 --> 0:03:15.880 So now what happened was I gave them a huge headline. 0:03:16.320 --> 0:03:19.760 Tons of people showed out, everybody made a lot more 0:03:19.840 --> 0:03:23.520 money because we were all there. And part of my thing, too, 0:03:23.560 --> 0:03:25.480 is when I go to these events haven't done very many. 0:03:25.639 --> 0:03:27.960 I'm the only black person there. I'm the only black 0:03:28.040 --> 0:03:31.440 person everywhere I go. The last one that I just did, 0:03:31.440 --> 0:03:33.560 which they were kind enough to invite me after I 0:03:33.600 --> 0:03:36.640 might have twisted a few worms. Um, I was the 0:03:36.680 --> 0:03:38.600 only black woman. And then there was an eight year 0:03:38.600 --> 0:03:40.880 old black child there who did an episode of something 0:03:40.920 --> 0:03:43.840 and that was it. So I do feel now that 0:03:43.880 --> 0:03:46.200 I'm an old lady, I can speak out about things 0:03:46.200 --> 0:03:48.480 because I'm gen X, you know, and I was taught 0:03:49.280 --> 0:03:51.400 be quiet, don't worry about it as long as it's 0:03:51.400 --> 0:03:53.840 not too overton in your face, just deal with it, 0:03:53.880 --> 0:03:56.120 you know. As a black person mixed person growing up, 0:03:56.160 --> 0:03:59.200 I mean, my white dad and black step mom were like, listen, 0:03:59.440 --> 0:04:01.080 this is how it is. You're going to be treated 0:04:01.440 --> 0:04:04.600 terribly and and you just suck it up. I think 0:04:04.720 --> 0:04:06.760 it's just I took a page from the Millennials book 0:04:06.760 --> 0:04:08.560 and I was like, I'm gonna wine in public about it, 0:04:09.440 --> 0:04:12.080 and and I think that it was probably good to 0:04:12.080 --> 0:04:14.640 bring awareness not just for me, but for other people, 0:04:15.160 --> 0:04:18.400 so many other people in my same boat. Well, Tessa 0:04:18.400 --> 0:04:21.039 and I are huge fans of the craft. It was 0:04:21.120 --> 0:04:27.400 one of the I know, I know, so's Emily, Tessa 0:04:27.360 --> 0:04:29.200 and I. I mean, just like we saw it together 0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:32.599 probably for the first time. You were like to, did 0:04:32.640 --> 0:04:35.400 you guys notice that our skirt scott shorter as our 0:04:35.480 --> 0:04:42.520 power as they should. Yeah. I do remember hearing an 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:45.440 interview with Andy Fleming, the director on NPR yours back 0:04:45.520 --> 0:04:46.919 back in the day, and he was like, oh, you know, 0:04:46.920 --> 0:04:50.279 it's a metaphor for female sexuality, and and that's so true. 0:04:50.320 --> 0:04:53.760 I think that women right from tweeing to it's a 0:04:53.880 --> 0:04:58.000 metaphor women all those things, so many new things circulating 0:04:58.040 --> 0:04:59.800 in us, and new ideas and thoughts and what we 0:04:59.800 --> 0:05:03.880 could do, and so I think that the Witchcraft is 0:05:03.920 --> 0:05:05.839 a perfect analogy for it. And actually I love I 0:05:05.880 --> 0:05:08.240 was talking to f rus the Ball, who plays Nancy 0:05:08.279 --> 0:05:10.800 in The Craft um the other week and she said 0:05:10.839 --> 0:05:12.800 something to me really kind, like people always say I 0:05:12.800 --> 0:05:16.520 look young. I don't look young at all. I'm gonna 0:05:16.560 --> 0:05:19.159 be a couple episodes of Better Things, we'll see me 0:05:19.160 --> 0:05:21.880 looking like every inch of an adult that I am. 0:05:21.920 --> 0:05:24.159 Better love that show, So for ruses, he look really 0:05:24.200 --> 0:05:25.799 young and I was like, oh girl, it's a glamour 0:05:25.839 --> 0:05:27.800 And then we just started trading lines from the movie. 0:05:28.760 --> 0:05:31.440 Really cute about that, Like, almost a quarter of a 0:05:31.520 --> 0:05:35.240 century later, how often do you see a movie with 0:05:35.240 --> 0:05:38.200 like four female protagonists at all? You know, And yes, 0:05:38.320 --> 0:05:40.599 you're right, part of the reason the movie is so 0:05:40.640 --> 0:05:46.359 good her in it, and your storyline is like very interesting. No, 0:05:46.480 --> 0:05:49.440 I appreciate that because I copped to this fully. I 0:05:49.480 --> 0:05:51.599 mean a documentary that is so good you guys on 0:05:51.640 --> 0:05:55.279 shutter dot com, which is owned by a mc uh 0:05:55.320 --> 0:05:58.240 and it's called Horror Noir. It's based on a book 0:05:58.240 --> 0:06:00.560 written by a college professor called Robin Mean Coleman. So 0:06:00.640 --> 0:06:02.720 it's already a more erudite take on this. It's not 0:06:02.800 --> 0:06:06.160 just here's a slash film. It's not a chronological order, 0:06:06.240 --> 0:06:10.960 just that the reflection of black people uh in films 0:06:10.960 --> 0:06:14.360 and so um being in that. I copped to the 0:06:14.400 --> 0:06:16.800 fact that when I got the craft, I remember thinking, 0:06:16.800 --> 0:06:18.479 and this is sort of mortifying for me, but I 0:06:18.480 --> 0:06:22.240 remember thinking, m oh, well, she's burned, and um, you know, 0:06:22.320 --> 0:06:25.159 she's crazy and she tried to commit suicide. What's my problem? 0:06:25.200 --> 0:06:28.080 I don't have a proper racism. Yeah, that's a given. 0:06:28.160 --> 0:06:30.120 It's a given that people can be horrible and racist meat. No, 0:06:30.240 --> 0:06:33.560 what is my actual problem? And I remember then thinking, 0:06:33.800 --> 0:06:37.080 do they think blackness is my problem? Why does she 0:06:37.120 --> 0:06:39.800 get punished at the end, like she didn't do anything 0:06:39.839 --> 0:06:43.719 wrong with her power? Like that's actually true. I didn't. 0:06:43.839 --> 0:06:46.080 And you know, I had a scene with my parents 0:06:46.240 --> 0:06:47.960 that was cut, which is kind of too bad because 0:06:47.960 --> 0:06:50.320 everyone else's parents, But don't worry. They didn't have any dialogue, 0:06:50.320 --> 0:06:52.599 so it doesn't matter. I remember my dad, the actor, 0:06:52.640 --> 0:06:54.000 being like, can you get us a line? And I 0:06:54.040 --> 0:06:57.839 was like, I'm trying to keep my answer. So it's 0:06:57.880 --> 0:07:00.800 interesting now to then, like things have change. I mean 0:07:00.880 --> 0:07:03.320 at the time, I had to really fight to be 0:07:03.360 --> 0:07:05.120 included in that movie, you know what, I mean, to 0:07:05.160 --> 0:07:07.479 get to read for it. So that's so crazy, And 0:07:07.520 --> 0:07:09.640 it's such a like huge like I don't know, it 0:07:09.680 --> 0:07:11.840 feels like a big like how far we've come, but 0:07:11.880 --> 0:07:13.240 also I guess how much we still have to do, 0:07:13.360 --> 0:07:16.120 like with us being such a huge thing this weekend, 0:07:16.320 --> 0:07:19.040 like as far as you know, representation and horror, and 0:07:19.080 --> 0:07:22.920 also not having it be you know, like the horror 0:07:22.920 --> 0:07:25.560 doesn't necessarily have to do with recent it. It's like 0:07:25.760 --> 0:07:28.239 it's about a bunch of things. It's about a family 0:07:28.840 --> 0:07:31.840 in a horror noir. There's a line from Blacula, which 0:07:31.880 --> 0:07:36.120 is a seventies black exploitation version of Dracula, Right, and 0:07:36.720 --> 0:07:39.000 Blacula turns one of his friends, and he's a very 0:07:39.040 --> 0:07:41.360 smooth count, and he turns his friend into a vampire. 0:07:41.360 --> 0:07:42.840 And the friend looks in the mirror and He's like, 0:07:43.480 --> 0:07:46.000 what what is a man if he cannot see his 0:07:46.040 --> 0:07:49.560 own reflection? And that, I think is such a beautiful 0:07:49.560 --> 0:07:52.280 analogy for how black people in America felt for a 0:07:52.360 --> 0:07:54.520 long time in terms of cinema, Like you can't see 0:07:54.680 --> 0:07:58.120 even me growing up, Like I can't see my reflection anywhere? 0:07:58.120 --> 0:08:00.680 Who is the person who looks like me? So I'd gravitate, 0:08:00.760 --> 0:08:03.200 of course, towards that one person of Like I remember 0:08:03.200 --> 0:08:05.400 being fascinated with the Courtship of Eddie's Father, which was 0:08:05.440 --> 0:08:07.720 actually before my time, but in repeats because there was 0:08:07.760 --> 0:08:11.000 an Asian woman on it, somebody different, somebody was other. 0:08:11.520 --> 0:08:13.920 You know. Anyway, by the way, when does this documentary 0:08:13.920 --> 0:08:16.720 come out? Oh, it's out already. It's on it's streaming 0:08:16.720 --> 0:08:19.560 on a platform called shutter dot com and it's horror 0:08:19.560 --> 0:08:22.320 nore yea And they have been showing it in New 0:08:22.400 --> 0:08:24.400 York and I think they were showing in a band. 0:08:25.000 --> 0:08:28.120 I think it's kind its rounds around the different art 0:08:28.160 --> 0:08:30.880 houses and stuff and independent theaters in New York. Yeah, 0:08:31.200 --> 0:08:33.360 it's funny. Like I did the documentary and then they 0:08:33.360 --> 0:08:35.480 were like grabbing a premiere and I just thought, oh, 0:08:35.480 --> 0:08:37.120 it's gonna be some little, tiny thing, and they had 0:08:37.120 --> 0:08:38.880 a real premiere and everything, and I was like a 0:08:38.880 --> 0:08:40.520 press line, which if you're a woman and you don't 0:08:40.520 --> 0:08:41.840 know there's a press line and then you have to 0:08:41.840 --> 0:08:45.920 do a press line, is little traumatized. So I need 0:08:45.960 --> 0:08:49.400 to documentary and it's great and I listen. I'm a realist. 0:08:49.440 --> 0:08:51.280 I wouldn't sing this high praise of it if I 0:08:51.320 --> 0:08:54.160 didn't actually had learned so much from it, and it 0:08:54.200 --> 0:08:58.480 pointed out beautiful art house films made by black people 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:01.160 that I hadn't heard of. So I'm thrilled to be 0:09:01.200 --> 0:09:04.319 a part of that. That's awesome. Cool. It feels like 0:09:04.400 --> 0:09:08.840 horrors having a moment of like, you know, social horror 0:09:09.120 --> 0:09:11.760 makes a lot of sense because it's like, you know, 0:09:11.800 --> 0:09:14.280 for horror to be about something rather than just sort 0:09:14.280 --> 0:09:17.160 of like scaring you. Torture porn was so big during 0:09:17.640 --> 0:09:22.400 well that makes sense after eleven when you think it's 0:09:22.400 --> 0:09:26.800 the most appropriate superhero thing, which I'm ye, unless you 0:09:26.800 --> 0:09:30.720 want to put me in on just so cool. But 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:34.040 that's a reaction to nine eleven and it's you know, 0:09:34.200 --> 0:09:38.400 twenty years later, and I feel like that genre. I mean, 0:09:38.440 --> 0:09:40.240 I get it as a parallel for us, but I 0:09:40.320 --> 0:09:42.640 kind of maybe because I'm grown up in gen X, 0:09:42.640 --> 0:09:46.880 Like I really miss nineties indie indie movies. I have 0:09:46.960 --> 0:09:49.599 been talking about erotic thrillers. That's why we went on 0:09:49.640 --> 0:09:54.959 the erotic. Yeah, We're like, oh, these movies are about 0:09:54.960 --> 0:09:59.920 like grown ups having problems and they're about like interpersonally attracts. 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:03.920 In chicular, was like the most just intimate, like you know, 0:10:04.120 --> 0:10:06.680 scaled down horror film in a lot of way. Sure 0:10:06.720 --> 0:10:09.520 that is a horror when you think about the psychological 0:10:09.640 --> 0:10:12.760 horror way, it's it's more than us. You wouldn't if 0:10:12.760 --> 0:10:14.760 you were a hardcore horror fan, you're gonna be like, 0:10:14.840 --> 0:10:17.040 is that horror? You're right, just just like get out. 0:10:17.080 --> 0:10:19.360 You're not gonna be entirely sure. But there are different 0:10:19.440 --> 0:10:22.160 veins of many veins of horror. And as much as 0:10:22.160 --> 0:10:25.000 I feel like the the elevated horror or like you know, 0:10:25.440 --> 0:10:28.559 thinking person's horror, I'm using like heavy scare quotes over 0:10:28.600 --> 0:10:30.600 that is Like there's been like a lot of great 0:10:30.600 --> 0:10:32.320 things that have come out that I guess you could 0:10:32.320 --> 0:10:35.240 file under that that banner, But I feel like there's 0:10:35.240 --> 0:10:38.040 still so much to be done with like just like 0:10:38.600 --> 0:10:42.880 scaring people in like different contexts and different cultural contexts 0:10:42.880 --> 0:10:45.000 and like, you know, like I feel like there's a 0:10:45.000 --> 0:10:50.120 lot of room for genres like you always think like 0:10:50.240 --> 0:10:54.640 fringey genres where you can experiment more. Should theoretically like 0:10:54.760 --> 0:10:57.200 be more experimental in terms of like who gets to 0:10:57.240 --> 0:11:01.080 make movies like something like horror or well, it's interesting 0:11:01.120 --> 0:11:03.679 to me, I guess coming from my gen x perspective, 0:11:03.720 --> 0:11:05.760 as I thought once you know, there was a little 0:11:06.160 --> 0:11:08.640 a video camera in everyone's hand, that we would have 0:11:08.760 --> 0:11:12.640 more of a revolution in filmmaking. It was like Blair Red, 0:11:12.800 --> 0:11:15.240 Yeah that is it, but kind of or you know, um, 0:11:15.760 --> 0:11:19.559 Chuan Baker shot Tangerine on an iPhone. I think, um, 0:11:19.600 --> 0:11:21.720 but I'm just surprised there aren't more and more and 0:11:21.760 --> 0:11:24.360 more people doing that because we have the means. And 0:11:24.440 --> 0:11:27.080 my my note to people is, um, you can have 0:11:27.320 --> 0:11:30.079 a kind of fuzzy video, you know, you can shoot 0:11:30.120 --> 0:11:33.760 on an iPhone, but your sound better. Yeah, really right, 0:11:33.920 --> 0:11:36.480 The sounds should be tight because then people will stick 0:11:36.520 --> 0:11:38.320 with it even if the picture is a little wishy. 0:11:38.360 --> 0:11:40.240 But I want a sidebar and give you some praise 0:11:40.280 --> 0:11:42.760 because I don't remember why I started following you, but 0:11:43.520 --> 0:11:45.800 I know I read stuff by you. We have people 0:11:45.840 --> 0:11:48.040 in common that we know. But I just loved your 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:51.520 New Yorker article on your grandma. And then oh yeah, Molly, 0:11:51.760 --> 0:11:53.880 if anyone out there miss that, you've got to look 0:11:53.920 --> 0:11:58.240 at It's such a good article. It's really just so 0:11:58.320 --> 0:12:00.840 well written. And then also like I loved it already, 0:12:00.840 --> 0:12:02.480 and then you had me. It got me when your 0:12:02.520 --> 0:12:05.840 grandma's favorite people with Serena and because I was like, 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:10.559 as she's an athlete JS, so you know, that's kind 0:12:10.600 --> 0:12:12.400 of why I probably started following you. And then I 0:12:12.400 --> 0:12:14.120 found out we had to writer friends in common and 0:12:14.200 --> 0:12:17.319 things like I've always been a fannier work. Rachel's also 0:12:17.400 --> 0:12:23.800 in Half Baked, another movie so dumb, so dumb. It 0:12:24.000 --> 0:12:27.240 is really funny you were in like you know, You're 0:12:27.280 --> 0:12:29.520 the craft Or and Half Baked in a Gregor ocument 0:12:29.760 --> 0:12:31.679 like these are all movies that have a lot of 0:12:31.720 --> 0:12:34.720 like cultural cachet with everybody like to be in cult 0:12:34.960 --> 0:12:37.840 things that he really sees. No, you don't hit me. 0:12:37.880 --> 0:12:39.640 The other day or a while back, I was like 0:12:39.679 --> 0:12:42.360 I was like, oh, you know, I may not have 0:12:42.400 --> 0:12:44.400 been in this, that or the other thing, right, but 0:12:44.559 --> 0:12:47.200 I was in these weird things that people know the 0:12:47.360 --> 0:12:51.199 names of, like people call me Rochelle and Mary Jane 0:12:51.440 --> 0:12:54.800 and Mona from my TV show, Like there's discernible names 0:12:54.800 --> 0:12:56.480 that people can attach to me, And I thought that 0:12:56.640 --> 0:12:59.600 that's kind of cool. Like I guess it's the kind 0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:02.640 of stuff like now, especially like kids even younger than us, 0:13:02.640 --> 0:13:04.880 like the generation below us. It's the stuff that they're 0:13:04.920 --> 0:13:07.280 all googling because they've heard somebody mention it and it 0:13:07.360 --> 0:13:09.320 like has this aura around it. They're like, oh, I 0:13:09.360 --> 0:13:11.240 need to like go look up all those geople. Speaking 0:13:11.240 --> 0:13:13.160 of Gregor Rocky has got a TV show out now, 0:13:13.160 --> 0:13:16.280 I think on Stars um with the same alien from Nowhere. 0:13:17.160 --> 0:13:19.480 But what I loved about that Gregor Rocky movie was 0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:22.720 again those weird indie things back in the day where 0:13:22.720 --> 0:13:24.800 we're just we got a barn, we're making a movie. 0:13:25.360 --> 0:13:28.560 And what Greg did with just paint. For example, when 0:13:28.559 --> 0:13:31.199 you look at the wolves in that movie and and 0:13:31.280 --> 0:13:35.360 the backdrops are so gorgeous, it's all just really inexpensive stuff. 0:13:35.360 --> 0:13:37.600 So when people because for instance, like I dated a 0:13:37.600 --> 0:13:39.480 guy for a minute who I was a great guy, 0:13:39.559 --> 0:13:41.160 but he's like you or I'd be like, hey, I 0:13:41.200 --> 0:13:43.200 got an idea, let's shoot this thing and look at it, 0:13:43.200 --> 0:13:48.040 and he'd be like, well, you know because and so 0:13:48.280 --> 0:13:51.920 we've broke up. But I just know that, Like I like, 0:13:51.960 --> 0:13:53.280 you got a bar and you can do it. And 0:13:53.320 --> 0:13:56.280 I love that attitude, like let's just try and see 0:13:56.280 --> 0:13:59.360 what we get. Um. And those images like that image 0:13:59.360 --> 0:14:02.199 of me up against the wall in nowhere, that's amazing. 0:14:02.280 --> 0:14:04.839 I wish I look like that. I mean even then 0:14:04.880 --> 0:14:19.560 I didn't look like that, but it's neat to see. Yeah. Anyway, Hey, folks, 0:14:19.960 --> 0:14:23.200 if you love true stories about extraordinary life experiences, we 0:14:23.280 --> 0:14:26.400 think you'll love the Risk podcast. Risk is the show 0:14:26.400 --> 0:14:28.800 where people tell true stories they never thought they'd dare 0:14:28.840 --> 0:14:32.560 to share stories too uncensored for public radio. On Risk, 0:14:32.680 --> 0:14:35.560 nothing's too intimate or too strange, like the one about 0:14:35.560 --> 0:14:38.120 the guy who got kidnapped by the drug cartel, or 0:14:38.160 --> 0:14:40.360 the girl who discovered she was living with a cannibal, 0:14:40.720 --> 0:14:42.640 or the woman who learned the person she was sharing 0:14:42.720 --> 0:14:45.960 kinky fantasies with online was her dear old dad. You'll 0:14:45.960 --> 0:14:50.040 hear real people sharing about life experiences so funny, so scary, 0:14:50.120 --> 0:14:53.160 so mystifying you won't believe your ears. Find it all 0:14:53.200 --> 0:14:55.480 at Risk show dot com or just search on your 0:14:55.480 --> 0:14:58.960 podcast app for Risk. That's r i s k exclamation 0:14:59.040 --> 0:15:09.120 point or kypan show dot com. I want to hear 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:12.200 about Rachel's other What would you say, it's like your 0:15:12.240 --> 0:15:17.840 moonlighting job, your other career, your career of the night. Well, 0:15:17.920 --> 0:15:19.840 you know, I do a few different Here's what I 0:15:19.880 --> 0:15:22.600 always try to say. I do many minute, many different things. 0:15:22.640 --> 0:15:24.360 And so I think there was a moment there were 0:15:24.400 --> 0:15:26.560 people trying to pigeonhole me as she's quit acting, and 0:15:26.560 --> 0:15:31.120 she said, no, I do many things. Also sidebar two, 0:15:31.160 --> 0:15:33.040 I had a you know, after my TV show ended, 0:15:33.040 --> 0:15:35.680 I had a major illness, which nobody, I know, people 0:15:35.680 --> 0:15:37.640 don't want to talk about people. Nobody wants to hear 0:15:37.680 --> 0:15:40.480 that you were anything but perfect and perfect looking. Right. 0:15:40.840 --> 0:15:43.200 Um had a very common thing that white women called 0:15:43.200 --> 0:15:46.840 tumors and black women call five yeah. And I think 0:15:46.840 --> 0:15:49.240 the distinction is interesting because black women are like, no 0:15:49.280 --> 0:15:51.120 big deal, and every white woman ever met it's like 0:15:51.200 --> 0:15:53.920 I have a drmer and I'm done. I'm like so basically, Um, 0:15:53.920 --> 0:15:55.680 I was riddled with these things inside and out. I 0:15:55.680 --> 0:15:57.760 looked eight months pregnant. I could barely walk, I could 0:15:57.760 --> 0:16:00.720 barely breathe. Actually, I let it go too far. It 0:16:00.800 --> 0:16:04.600 was a benign condition that I didn't because the doctor said, 0:16:04.600 --> 0:16:07.000 black lady, don't worry about it. It's very common. Don't 0:16:07.080 --> 0:16:08.600 check it. And that's why I'm talking about it on 0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:11.040 this podcast because black women, if you have five words, 0:16:11.120 --> 0:16:13.440 or white women, any women, it can affect your fertility. 0:16:13.720 --> 0:16:16.720 It can affect every first of all insane from the 0:16:16.720 --> 0:16:18.960 hormone imbalance is well, you do not get that without 0:16:19.000 --> 0:16:22.480 a severe hormone ebalance. So got back to my other 0:16:22.600 --> 0:16:25.720 things that I do are just things I've always done 0:16:26.040 --> 0:16:28.720 my whole entire life. But yes, when I went through 0:16:29.040 --> 0:16:32.080 a period of being um, you know again in this town, 0:16:32.120 --> 0:16:34.480 if you were anything but perfect, people back away from you. 0:16:34.560 --> 0:16:36.880 So when I wasn't feeling you know, it wasn't really 0:16:36.880 --> 0:16:39.280 healthy and feeling well, it was just an odd time 0:16:39.320 --> 0:16:41.840 and I had to redecipher who I was and what 0:16:41.920 --> 0:16:45.320 I was based on myself, not outside. So I just 0:16:45.360 --> 0:16:47.000 got back into the stuff I've always done, like as 0:16:47.040 --> 0:16:49.560 a small child, but I was in foster care from 0:16:49.640 --> 0:16:52.280 zero to four, right, But I doubt eventually came and 0:16:52.280 --> 0:16:54.560 God as my white dad, um with his new black 0:16:54.560 --> 0:16:57.560 wife and um, he had this huge bookcase that I 0:16:57.640 --> 0:17:01.040 called the library and the when you're for it looks 0:17:01.080 --> 0:17:02.680 like a library. So the books and I could read 0:17:02.680 --> 0:17:04.480 a little bit. My stepmother toat us to read the books. 0:17:04.480 --> 0:17:07.119 I would pull down where Nietzsche is beyond Good and 0:17:07.240 --> 0:17:10.119 Evil and Carl Young's Man and his symbols. So was 0:17:10.200 --> 0:17:12.239 I actually reading the books? I doubted. I could read 0:17:12.280 --> 0:17:14.200 a couple words here and there, right, but it was 0:17:14.320 --> 0:17:17.080 very drawn to the pictures and the covers and the things, uh, 0:17:17.720 --> 0:17:20.119 the concepts of good and evil? What is that? What 0:17:20.240 --> 0:17:22.960 is beyond what I could see at four years old? 0:17:23.119 --> 0:17:25.320 And I also felt like I was super intuitive even 0:17:25.359 --> 0:17:27.000 at that age. I felt like at that age I 0:17:27.000 --> 0:17:28.879 could kind of look at someone, kind of know what 0:17:28.920 --> 0:17:31.119 they were thinking, and it made them very uncomfortable. So 0:17:31.119 --> 0:17:33.200 cut to someone gives me a tarot deck like when 0:17:33.200 --> 0:17:36.080 I'm eight, and I'm like, oh my god, it's the same. 0:17:36.160 --> 0:17:38.840 It's the same language as those books. It's what Carl 0:17:38.960 --> 0:17:42.679 Young was talking. It's all inter related. Remember which was 0:17:42.800 --> 0:17:45.000 I think it was just a basic writer weight deck 0:17:45.440 --> 0:17:48.920 um so which should be called the writer wait Smith's 0:17:48.960 --> 0:17:52.080 deck because one of the artists, Pamela Coleman Smith, who 0:17:52.119 --> 0:17:54.879 has there's a book out about her, and Mary Kay Greer, 0:17:54.920 --> 0:17:57.239 who was one of the people I gravitated towards her 0:17:57.240 --> 0:17:59.120 tarot books back in the days, one of the authors 0:17:59.119 --> 0:18:01.879 of that. So I became interested in taro because of that, 0:18:01.920 --> 0:18:05.760 and I was always interested in weird so tamis scorpio ye, 0:18:07.680 --> 0:18:10.600 So it just was a natural extension. This is like 0:18:10.680 --> 0:18:13.040 my little catchphrase for terror, and I've had this my 0:18:13.119 --> 0:18:14.800 whole life, which is it's kind of like a shrink 0:18:14.800 --> 0:18:17.679 in a box, you know, it's literally a way to 0:18:17.760 --> 0:18:20.399 go what's happening. Carl Young says the best way to 0:18:20.440 --> 0:18:22.639 predict the future is de termined now the present of 0:18:22.680 --> 0:18:25.320 all from the past. So is there a little magic 0:18:25.400 --> 0:18:28.639 and mysticism in the taro. Absolutely, But really it's just 0:18:28.680 --> 0:18:30.960 a very practical way because I can look at an 0:18:30.960 --> 0:18:34.040 image and and it evokes an emotion of visceral emotion 0:18:34.080 --> 0:18:35.840 in me, and you're going to have a completely different 0:18:35.840 --> 0:18:38.720 reaction to that. So that's kind of where I think 0:18:38.760 --> 0:18:42.400 there's the magic of terror. It's interesting because I showed 0:18:42.440 --> 0:18:46.239 my son who's almost seven, a tarot deck recently, and 0:18:46.440 --> 0:18:51.480 his reactions to the cards were really interesting. Yeah, I mean, 0:18:51.800 --> 0:18:53.880 just some of the darker cards. He was like, oh, 0:18:53.920 --> 0:18:56.040 this is really cool. This is really powerful, which is 0:18:56.160 --> 0:18:58.719 really what a lot of them mean. But to me, 0:18:58.800 --> 0:19:01.919 I'm like, but that's a kid resonated with the image. 0:19:01.920 --> 0:19:04.359 You know, nobody needs to have explained here. It's the 0:19:04.440 --> 0:19:07.840 visceral feeling. So to me, I became interested in tarot 0:19:07.880 --> 0:19:10.639 because if that, and then coincidentally, before I got the craft, 0:19:10.680 --> 0:19:13.200 like this is actually a true story, Like about nine 0:19:13.200 --> 0:19:15.480 months before I that script landed in my lap, my 0:19:15.560 --> 0:19:19.200 TV broke, so I just really delved into tarot studies, 0:19:19.240 --> 0:19:21.879 Like I have notebooks and notebooks of you know, just 0:19:22.000 --> 0:19:24.480 my thoughts and my my layouts and my readings and 0:19:24.520 --> 0:19:26.480 all those things. And so when the script showed up 0:19:26.560 --> 0:19:28.240 nine months later, I was like, I think I'm ready 0:19:28.240 --> 0:19:29.760 for this ship. And if anyone's gonna be a black, 0:19:29.800 --> 0:19:33.560 which it's me. So um cut to again after I 0:19:33.600 --> 0:19:37.240 was sort of recovered, you know, I remember like disassociating 0:19:37.320 --> 0:19:39.320 from my body floating up to the ceiling as I 0:19:39.359 --> 0:19:41.280 spread out on the couch, right, And that was my 0:19:41.320 --> 0:19:43.879 clue to get back in my body, get healthy again. 0:19:43.880 --> 0:19:45.600 And that is why I appreciate it when people say 0:19:45.640 --> 0:19:48.399 you look good or you look good, because I'm okay 0:19:48.480 --> 0:19:50.840 work for this ship, and I do a tribute Tarot 0:19:50.960 --> 0:19:55.160 to helping me get through some of those more difficult moments, 0:19:55.520 --> 0:19:57.119 you know. And then I was supposed to play Marie 0:19:57.200 --> 0:20:00.160 la Vaux in a movie. I had read car It's 0:20:00.200 --> 0:20:02.560 for myself and my friends for years and years, but 0:20:02.600 --> 0:20:05.399