1 00:00:00,560 --> 00:00:03,600 Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if 2 00:00:03,640 --> 00:00:06,800 Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, 3 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:10,280 Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARBFM dot com 4 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:13,680 Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your 5 00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:16,880 Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're going to 6 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:19,480 Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now. 7 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:21,720 Speaker 2: Here, right now. Look, I love and hold on tight. 8 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:24,680 Speaker 2: We got it. Fool you. Here it is Strawberry Letter. 9 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:31,160 Speaker 1: Thank you, nephew. Subject to my fiance. Okay, my fiance 10 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 1: and his girlfriend. 11 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:34,640 Speaker 2: Did you write this? 12 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:38,800 Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm engaged to a man that used 13 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:42,520 Speaker 1: to date one of my friends. Their history runs deep 14 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:45,239 Speaker 1: and he's still tied to her in a lot of ways. 15 00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:48,800 Speaker 1: They have property together and they have a son together. 16 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:52,680 Speaker 1: He always told me that he couldn't see himself marrying her, 17 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:55,800 Speaker 1: and he wanted to be with me. I would always 18 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:59,080 Speaker 1: tell him that he's crossing the line by talking about 19 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:02,000 Speaker 1: her to me because I have been her friend for 20 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:05,759 Speaker 1: twenty years. But he and I started dating while he 21 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,920 Speaker 1: was still with her. She would complain about him not 22 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,679 Speaker 1: having sex with her anymore, and she said he was 23 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:15,200 Speaker 1: very distant. She said he was only with her for 24 00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:17,760 Speaker 1: their son, and I would tell her that she should 25 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:22,240 Speaker 1: let him go because it's clear. It's clear he doesn't 26 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:26,200 Speaker 1: want her. She would say that it's not that simple. 27 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,040 Speaker 1: He says the same thing. He said he's not having 28 00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:31,200 Speaker 1: sex with her or doing anything with her to make 29 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,840 Speaker 1: her think that he still loves her, but he's staying 30 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 1: at the house for his son. He and I dated 31 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:39,400 Speaker 1: for a year before he asked me to marry him. 32 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:43,080 Speaker 1: I have met his entire family and they love me. 33 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:46,160 Speaker 1: He spends the night at my house often, and we 34 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:48,800 Speaker 1: are making plans to start over in a new city 35 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:52,400 Speaker 1: after we get married. He is still waiting for the 36 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:55,240 Speaker 1: right time to tell his girlfriend that he's with me. 37 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:58,760 Speaker 1: I told him that we should tell her as a couple, 38 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:02,760 Speaker 1: and we should do it after the holidays. I feel like, 39 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:06,000 Speaker 1: isn't that nice? I feel like she will end up 40 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:10,200 Speaker 1: hating me, but she can't because I didn't take her man. 41 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:14,600 Speaker 1: He pursued me. My pastor told me that there are 42 00:02:14,639 --> 00:02:18,360 Speaker 1: no rules when two soul mates meet. My family thinks 43 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:21,120 Speaker 1: I'm a bad person for being with him, and they 44 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:25,120 Speaker 1: said our relationship won't last. Why wouldn't it last? Do 45 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:27,640 Speaker 1: you think i'd be making a big mistake if I 46 00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:33,680 Speaker 1: stay with this man. Well, you're really clueless, huh. Don't 47 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:37,480 Speaker 1: you know that you've crossed the line. You've been her 48 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:41,120 Speaker 1: so called friend for twenty years. You have no idea 49 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:44,280 Speaker 1: what it means to be a real friend. You think 50 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:48,680 Speaker 1: because he pursued you and you didn't chase him, that 51 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:52,240 Speaker 1: makes it all right for you guys to be together. No, 52 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:55,840 Speaker 1: it doesn't. You may not have hijacked her man or 53 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:59,040 Speaker 1: taken him from her, as you say, but when he 54 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:02,680 Speaker 1: came after you, you did not say no. You did 55 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:07,560 Speaker 1: not say that's my friend. You welcomed him with open arms, 56 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:10,639 Speaker 1: you didn't turn him down. And then now you're engaged. 57 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:14,120 Speaker 1: A friend wouldn't do that, and you still haven't told her, 58 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:16,280 Speaker 1: and you think it's okay to tell her as a couple. 59 00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:20,679 Speaker 1: This is so foul and just so wrong. You take 60 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:24,840 Speaker 1: no accountability for what has happened. You have betrayed your friend. 61 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:28,280 Speaker 1: He's playing you. It's called having his cake and eating 62 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:30,880 Speaker 1: it too. And please know that there will never be 63 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,600 Speaker 1: a right time to tell this girl this. 64 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:33,080 Speaker 2: Never. 65 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:36,920 Speaker 1: She's not gonna take this well, and she probably will 66 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:39,720 Speaker 1: whoop your behind. Okay, I hope that answers your question 67 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:42,680 Speaker 1: about this being a big mistake. If you stay with 68 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:45,640 Speaker 1: this man again, she's gonna whoop your behind, And yes 69 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:46,880 Speaker 1: it will be a big mistake. 70 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:50,520 Speaker 2: Steve, Well, this is my favorite thing today so far. 71 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:56,160 Speaker 2: You know, well, good tyd of dealing with the election, 72 00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:59,880 Speaker 2: min wod deal with some bs. Ain't nothing like some 73 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:04,760 Speaker 2: good old bs for you. Here's a fiance say he 74 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:08,960 Speaker 2: is a Well, the subject is my fiance and his girlfriend. Now, 75 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:12,240 Speaker 2: this lady is engaged to a man that used to 76 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:17,640 Speaker 2: date one of her friends, and they got history, They 77 00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:21,599 Speaker 2: have property together, and they have a son together. You 78 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:26,560 Speaker 2: pretty much can't get no more connected than that. Y'all 79 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,440 Speaker 2: got place to stay together, and y'all got a baby together? 80 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:33,479 Speaker 2: Or damn it, what else is bigger than that? What 81 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,840 Speaker 2: you got the two things that's gonna hold you there, 82 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:41,159 Speaker 2: somewhere to stay and a baby. He always told me 83 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,719 Speaker 2: he couldn't see himself marrying her, and he wanted to 84 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:46,800 Speaker 2: be with me. And I would always tell him he's 85 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:50,800 Speaker 2: crossing the line by talking to me about her, talking 86 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:53,800 Speaker 2: about her to me because I have been her friend 87 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:58,120 Speaker 2: for twenty years. No, you ain't what is you talking about? 88 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:00,640 Speaker 2: You've been her friend for twenty years. Where you get 89 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:06,520 Speaker 2: that from? If you was her friend, we don't have 90 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:11,440 Speaker 2: no more letter. The letter it would have ended with, 91 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:13,440 Speaker 2: I told him not to say nothing to me because 92 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,520 Speaker 2: you crossing the line. Because I've been her friend for 93 00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:18,440 Speaker 2: twenty years. The letter would have been over if you 94 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:24,760 Speaker 2: were her friend. But hen and I started dating while 95 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:29,440 Speaker 2: he was still with her. What Wait a minute, Hold lady, 96 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:32,040 Speaker 2: wait a minute. I'll help me, help me. I'll come 97 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,280 Speaker 2: from the struggling. But you know I was trying to 98 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:35,360 Speaker 2: wait a minute. 99 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 1: You told him he. 100 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:40,520 Speaker 2: Was crossing the line by talking about her to you, 101 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 2: because y'all have been friends for twenty years. Next line, 102 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,960 Speaker 2: But he and I started dating while he was still 103 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:58,159 Speaker 2: with her. Man, you a good ass friend, man, lady, 104 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:02,560 Speaker 2: You man, man, that's what That's what friends are for. 105 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:12,160 Speaker 2: Who keep shying, keep smiling? Now when you can always 106 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:17,880 Speaker 2: count on me? Yeah, you can count on me. So 107 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,200 Speaker 2: every time he come over here to talk about you 108 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:23,360 Speaker 2: to me, I make him some coffee, sit him down 109 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,440 Speaker 2: and cuddle with him and just listen as a good 110 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:29,640 Speaker 2: friend should. Now you know we just started dating now 111 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:31,880 Speaker 2: because one time we was cutting and he cut me. 112 00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:36,640 Speaker 2: He did, all right? 113 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:38,320 Speaker 1: Hang on see, we'll have part two. 114 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:42,040 Speaker 2: Once he cut me, I was just we'll. 115 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:44,240 Speaker 1: Have part two of your response, showing up twenty three 116 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:49,800 Speaker 1: minutes after today's Strawberry letter subject my fiance and his girlfriend. 117 00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:52,679 Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening 118 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:57,240 Speaker 1: Morning show, All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's 119 00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:59,800 Speaker 1: Strawberry letter because it put a smile on your face. 120 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:02,520 Speaker 2: Go yeah, because you know I need some bs right 121 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:05,360 Speaker 2: now because you know the electioning God on my damn nerves. 122 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:09,760 Speaker 2: You know, this story is my fiance and his girlfriend. 123 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:11,800 Speaker 2: His ladies engaged to a man that used to they 124 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:15,000 Speaker 2: one of her friends, and they got history because they 125 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:18,760 Speaker 2: have She say, they got history in a lot of 126 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:20,920 Speaker 2: ways because they got property together, and they got a 127 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:24,720 Speaker 2: son together with Damn, that's pretty much. You can't get 128 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:28,840 Speaker 2: a property somewhere to stay and you got a baby together. Heah, y'all, 129 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:32,280 Speaker 2: y'all tied together. That pretty much. That's what a family is, 130 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:35,160 Speaker 2: people that have kids together and stay together in the 131 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:38,400 Speaker 2: same house. Anyway, he told me he couldn't see himself 132 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:40,880 Speaker 2: marrying her, and he wanted to be with me. I 133 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,960 Speaker 2: would always tell him, you crossing the line by talking 134 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,200 Speaker 2: to her about me because I been her friend for 135 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:49,640 Speaker 2: twenty years. Yeah, that's that should have ended the letter, 136 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:53,760 Speaker 2: But the next line says, but he and I started 137 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:57,360 Speaker 2: dating while he was still with her. Now here go 138 00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:59,640 Speaker 2: the good, good one right here. She would complain about 139 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,800 Speaker 2: him not having sex with her anymore, and she said 140 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:06,520 Speaker 2: he was very distant, ah, because he was over there 141 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:09,040 Speaker 2: packing it up with the friends. See that's what that was. 142 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:13,600 Speaker 2: You ain't understand that. Yeah, he distant, hard deck like 143 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:16,280 Speaker 2: he loved you. When y'all sitting around together watching TV 144 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:20,560 Speaker 2: all y'all and he he just over there, just over there, 145 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,320 Speaker 2: just getting actually free. You couldn't hurt it, you know, 146 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:27,840 Speaker 2: they just they just ripping it. I would tell her 147 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:30,320 Speaker 2: you should let him go because it's clear that he 148 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:35,120 Speaker 2: don't want you. Ain't that what you know? Ladies, if 149 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:38,120 Speaker 2: you had a friend like that who was sleeping with 150 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:41,000 Speaker 2: your man and causing y'all to be distanced and not 151 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,480 Speaker 2: have sex no more, And then she would actually come 152 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:45,680 Speaker 2: to you and go, y'all to just let him go 153 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:47,760 Speaker 2: because it's clear that he don't want to be with you. 154 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:51,520 Speaker 2: She would say that, and she would say, it's just 155 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,200 Speaker 2: not that simple, And you was thinking, well, hell, how 156 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 2: much more simple can it be? I know you need 157 00:08:56,679 --> 00:08:58,560 Speaker 2: to leave with and I know why he distant because 158 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:02,360 Speaker 2: he's sleeping with me. He says the same thing. He 159 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,720 Speaker 2: says he's not having sex with her or doing anything 160 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:07,000 Speaker 2: with her to make her think he still loves her, 161 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:10,880 Speaker 2: but he's staying at the house for his son, who 162 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:13,680 Speaker 2: ain't at the line? How many times have you heard 163 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:17,199 Speaker 2: that line? I am staying at the house for the kids. 164 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:20,600 Speaker 2: He and I dated for a year before he asked 165 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:23,880 Speaker 2: me to marry him. I met his entire family and 166 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:27,559 Speaker 2: they love me. He spends the night in my house often, 167 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:29,840 Speaker 2: and we mak him plans to start over in the 168 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:31,600 Speaker 2: new city. Well that's good. You know you got to 169 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:34,280 Speaker 2: get out that city. You already know why you got 170 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:37,760 Speaker 2: to get out that city, because she know where you stay. 171 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:43,840 Speaker 2: He stay, You ain't gonna get a night's sleep after 172 00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:46,839 Speaker 2: we get married. He is still waiting for the right 173 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,880 Speaker 2: time to tell his girlfriend that he's with me. Wait 174 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:53,880 Speaker 2: a minute, he done proposed to you, and he ain't 175 00:09:53,920 --> 00:10:00,160 Speaker 2: told the other girl. He waiting on the right time. Well, 176 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,040 Speaker 2: are you stupid? 177 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:02,800 Speaker 1: The right time? 178 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:08,320 Speaker 2: It ain't none right, it ain't none. See he did 179 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,240 Speaker 2: he did let me tell you something. He didn't fed 180 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:16,319 Speaker 2: you a whole, a whole heap of mess because he 181 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:19,920 Speaker 2: ain't left this girl. And if he telling you he 182 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:22,760 Speaker 2: trying to find the right time to tell her is 183 00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:28,560 Speaker 2: because he's actually considering her feelings more than yours. He's 184 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,960 Speaker 2: still waiting for the right time tell his girlfriend he's 185 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,160 Speaker 2: with me. I told him we should tell her as 186 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:36,040 Speaker 2: a couple, and we should do it after the holidays. 187 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:40,000 Speaker 2: That's the funniest line in that of me. Let's not 188 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:45,319 Speaker 2: mess up Christmas. Now, wait a minute, so January, after 189 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:48,080 Speaker 2: New Year's we're gonna go in there and tell her 190 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:53,880 Speaker 2: as a couple as she gonna stab both of y'all. Oh, 191 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:57,840 Speaker 2: I'm gonna tell you right now. You I don't know 192 00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:00,240 Speaker 2: how you think it's gonna go. I feel like will 193 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:07,480 Speaker 2: end up hating me because she can't she I'm this 194 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,880 Speaker 2: is this was disturbing. I feel like she will end 195 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:13,520 Speaker 2: up hating me, but she can't because I didn't take her. 196 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:22,160 Speaker 2: Man what he pursued me. Really, you think I've never 197 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:25,160 Speaker 2: heard a woman use that one before? So when you 198 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:27,280 Speaker 2: do all this, can you film this and send this 199 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:32,920 Speaker 2: in as a part too to this draw my pastor 200 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,400 Speaker 2: told me that there are no rules when two soul 201 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:41,040 Speaker 2: makes me. You need to change churches. You need to 202 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:47,320 Speaker 2: change churches. Your pastor told you there are no rules 203 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:50,560 Speaker 2: when two soul makes me. Have you ever heard that before? 204 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:54,640 Speaker 2: Surely have you ever heard that? Have you ever heard that? 205 00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:58,600 Speaker 1: Like war? 206 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,800 Speaker 2: All is fair and love and war? Our pastor told 207 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:03,520 Speaker 2: me there are no rules when two soul mats meet. 208 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:04,400 Speaker 2: You ever heard that? 209 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:05,400 Speaker 1: No? 210 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:08,880 Speaker 2: No rules? No? Yeah, junior, you ever heard that. I've 211 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:17,760 Speaker 2: said it to keep by soulmates. 212 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:18,440 Speaker 1: Yeah. 213 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:24,000 Speaker 2: See, the reason that don't fly is because see it 214 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:28,400 Speaker 2: has sin in it. And what I've learned from Bishop Kenneth, Oh, 215 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:31,760 Speaker 2: a good friend of mine, was God's voice has no 216 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:36,960 Speaker 2: sin in it. Your pastor told you there are no rules, 217 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:41,120 Speaker 2: which means you can do anything you want to do. 218 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:46,000 Speaker 2: Now what that'sad in the Bible. You need to change churches. 219 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,360 Speaker 2: People say your relationship won't last. Do you think I'm 220 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,360 Speaker 2: making a big mistake if I stay with this man? 221 00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:53,600 Speaker 2: If you have a question, why you think you have 222 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,439 Speaker 2: a question. You don't even have a man yet. He's 223 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,120 Speaker 2: still with that lady in that ball over there, in 224 00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:00,199 Speaker 2: that house. He ain't told nobody nothing yet. 225 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:01,800 Speaker 1: She knows this is wrong. 226 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:03,800 Speaker 2: All right, you got change churches. 227 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:07,400 Speaker 1: We'll leave your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram 228 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:10,280 Speaker 1: and Facebook at Steve Harvey FM and check us out 229 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:13,839 Speaker 1: on the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app. 230 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:17,360 Speaker 1: Coming up next, we're all eagerly awaiting the election results, 231 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,679 Speaker 1: and we'll be back with more updates right after this. 232 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:22,680 Speaker 1: You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show