1 00:00:01,920 --> 00:00:07,600 Speaker 1: This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental wealth podcast, 2 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:13,680 Speaker 1: build you from the inside out. Now here's Jay Glacier. 3 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:17,439 Speaker 1: Welcome into Unbreakable, a mental wealth podcast with Jay Glazer. 4 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:20,479 Speaker 1: I'm Jay Glazer, and I do this podcast to help 5 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:26,080 Speaker 1: empower and inspire people to overcome adversity, to get through adversity, 6 00:00:26,079 --> 00:00:29,000 Speaker 1: because we don't really need books and podcasts to help 7 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:29,760 Speaker 1: us in the good times. 8 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:30,280 Speaker 2: That's easy. 9 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:33,080 Speaker 1: Life is really about getting through the hard times and 10 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:35,720 Speaker 1: getting through challenges. And those of us who get through 11 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:40,000 Speaker 1: them better really have I think a much quicker path 12 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:44,239 Speaker 1: to success. To get to success. And look, a lot 13 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:47,839 Speaker 1: of people in the NFL watch his podcast thankfully. And 14 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:50,920 Speaker 1: this in the NFL is a difficult week for a 15 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,559 Speaker 1: lot of people because the week where coaches lose their 16 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:57,560 Speaker 1: jobs is turnover. There's no guidebook for that. That's why 17 00:00:57,560 --> 00:01:00,560 Speaker 1: I'm proud to be joined by Dennis Allen, former head 18 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,720 Speaker 1: coach of the New Orleans Saints and Oakland Raiders, and 19 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:05,640 Speaker 1: Dennis kind enough to join us. First of all, thank you, brother, 20 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:09,000 Speaker 1: appreciate it. Man to help these coaches of what you're 21 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,640 Speaker 1: gonna go through. Dennis lost the job this year with 22 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:13,840 Speaker 1: the New Orleans Saints been season and there isn't And 23 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:15,959 Speaker 1: he and I were talking about there's no guy, there's 24 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 1: no Hey. This is what you go through, This is 25 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:20,520 Speaker 1: the emotions, This is kind of a track you fall into. 26 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:22,000 Speaker 2: This is what happens to you. 27 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:24,800 Speaker 1: So I'm like, you know, it's great that friends will 28 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:27,880 Speaker 1: come on to use their experiences to help out this. 29 00:01:27,959 --> 00:01:28,840 Speaker 1: So again, thank you for joining. 30 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,920 Speaker 2: Man. Yeah, absolutely, Man excited about doing this? 31 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:31,640 Speaker 1: Are you really? 32 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:34,080 Speaker 2: Yeah? 33 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:36,480 Speaker 1: He's again want to get fired? Now I gotta go 34 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:40,520 Speaker 1: in places podcast? So you know, first of all, real quick, 35 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,080 Speaker 1: like I guess we'll go over different emotions. But when 36 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:45,680 Speaker 1: it first happens, when you get fired, First of all, 37 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:49,160 Speaker 1: how many like how many people I always tell coaches, gms, whatever, 38 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:50,880 Speaker 1: head You get a chance to watch your own funeral. 39 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:53,880 Speaker 1: And what I mean by that is it's a very 40 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:58,600 Speaker 1: valuable lesson because you get to see who carried the casket, 41 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:02,160 Speaker 1: who kicked during the casket, who's laughing that you got 42 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,800 Speaker 1: put in the ground, who's like I said, who carried you? 43 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:05,080 Speaker 2: Ask it? 44 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:08,440 Speaker 1: Who's really there for you? And well it sucks for 45 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:11,080 Speaker 1: a lot of people fall off. Afterwards, you get to 46 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:13,120 Speaker 1: really know who to put your time and effort, you're 47 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:17,480 Speaker 1: soul into what's it like like in that way? I 48 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:20,480 Speaker 1: guess shortly after them, in the weeks and months after. 49 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:24,960 Speaker 2: That, Yeah, well I think initially, man, you have a 50 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:28,440 Speaker 2: lot of people that reach out to you and you know, 51 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:31,960 Speaker 2: offer support. Maybe it's a call, maybe it's a text. 52 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:34,000 Speaker 2: You know, obviously it's a really busy time of year, 53 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:36,760 Speaker 2: so you know, coaches don't have a lot of time 54 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:39,720 Speaker 2: to have hour two hour long phone calls, you know, 55 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:42,400 Speaker 2: so usually it's some sort of a text just giving 56 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:45,440 Speaker 2: you support, telling you you know, hey, look, we know 57 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:47,600 Speaker 2: you're a great coach. You know you're gonna land on 58 00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:50,920 Speaker 2: your feet. You know, best of luck to you, hope 59 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:53,400 Speaker 2: if I can do anything for you, just letting me know, 60 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:57,079 Speaker 2: you know that that kind of stuff. That's what happens 61 00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:01,000 Speaker 2: in the first couple of days. And then as the 62 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:04,280 Speaker 2: days go on, those become less and less, and then 63 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:08,519 Speaker 2: what you what you see is the people that really 64 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:12,079 Speaker 2: are there for you. They're the ones that you know 65 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:15,280 Speaker 2: they're going to check on you. You know, they send 66 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,639 Speaker 2: you a text the first week, you know, and then 67 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:20,000 Speaker 2: ten days later you're going to get another text, Hey, 68 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:21,680 Speaker 2: just checking on you, you know, and then you get 69 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:25,160 Speaker 2: into the holiday season and it's Happy Thanksgiving, and then 70 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:27,480 Speaker 2: it's Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and all the 71 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:34,680 Speaker 2: and so uh, it's it's obviously an interesting dynamic to see. 72 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:38,040 Speaker 2: And look, I believe I'm fortunate that I feel like 73 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:39,680 Speaker 2: I've got a lot of people that have reached out 74 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,720 Speaker 2: to me and shown me a lot of support. 75 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:45,080 Speaker 1: What's the percentage that drop off? Like I'd say, you 76 00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:47,080 Speaker 1: had a couple of hundred texts when it first happens, 77 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:50,760 Speaker 1: and then you're down to Yeah, then you're down twenty fifty, 78 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:51,560 Speaker 1: you're down to ten. 79 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:54,920 Speaker 2: You know, you're getting a couple of week. 80 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,240 Speaker 1: Do you appreciate the ten or do you get resemful 81 00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:59,160 Speaker 1: of the one ninety that stopped checking it? 82 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,000 Speaker 2: I think you always got to be appreciative of the tent, 83 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:05,760 Speaker 2: you know, because look, I'm kind of a glass half 84 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 2: full type of guy, you know, and so I don't 85 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:13,000 Speaker 2: get real been out of shape about people that don't 86 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,240 Speaker 2: do things. I try to be more appreciative of the 87 00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:15,840 Speaker 2: things that I do. 88 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:19,040 Speaker 1: Get When you got fired or you you get a 89 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:21,800 Speaker 1: chance to think about it. The players, you like, what's 90 00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:22,320 Speaker 1: the process? 91 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:25,360 Speaker 2: You know, how quickly you have the office so It's 92 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:29,160 Speaker 2: kind of weird because you know, typically it's going to 93 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:35,039 Speaker 2: happen on a Monday morning, maybe it's a Tuesday, depending 94 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:38,960 Speaker 2: on when it when it is, But like, for instance, 95 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:42,679 Speaker 2: in this instance, I was like, go on Monday morning, 96 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:47,000 Speaker 2: Mickey came into my office, closed the door, said let's 97 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:51,880 Speaker 2: talk Mickey Loomis. And Mickey was not really in favor 98 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:56,200 Speaker 2: of this move. Uh and and we talked, uh and 99 00:04:56,320 --> 00:05:01,480 Speaker 2: we had a really good conversation. So then he kind 100 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:03,560 Speaker 2: of said, well, let me let me there's a couple 101 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:06,640 Speaker 2: of guys. I want to talk to the coordinators. You know, 102 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:09,680 Speaker 2: I want to talk to Darren Rizzy, who's you know, 103 00:05:09,839 --> 00:05:11,480 Speaker 2: he's going to have coach you want to talk to. 104 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:15,400 Speaker 2: He wanted to talk to them, and I said, I said, look, 105 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:18,120 Speaker 2: I just you know, I want to I want to 106 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:19,560 Speaker 2: be able to address the staff. I want to be 107 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:23,040 Speaker 2: able to talk to the staff. And so I had 108 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:26,400 Speaker 2: a meeting. Usually we have the players come in at 109 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:30,280 Speaker 2: eleven o'clock, and I had a meeting at ten o'clock 110 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,800 Speaker 2: with the coaches and you know, told them, hey, look 111 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:34,880 Speaker 2: this is what happened. 112 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:38,640 Speaker 1: Wow, this is you take all the coach and say, hey, 113 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:40,719 Speaker 1: I just got I got fired, I got I gotta 114 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:40,960 Speaker 1: let go. 115 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:45,120 Speaker 2: It's all conversation. That's it's It's an awful conversation, you know, 116 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:50,640 Speaker 2: because when when when the coach gets fired, it doesn't 117 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:56,000 Speaker 2: just affect the head coach. It affects the head coaches family. 118 00:05:56,880 --> 00:06:01,200 Speaker 2: It affects all these assistant coaches. It affects their families, 119 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:04,520 Speaker 2: It affects the people in personnel and their families, because 120 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:08,240 Speaker 2: you know, like I was the one that brought a 121 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:11,840 Speaker 2: lot of these people here into this organization, and there's 122 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:14,240 Speaker 2: gonna be a lot of change. And so not only 123 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,159 Speaker 2: does it affect me and my family and what we've 124 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,880 Speaker 2: got to go through and where we have to pick 125 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,840 Speaker 2: up and figure out what we're going to do next, 126 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:25,719 Speaker 2: it also affects all these other coaches and their families. 127 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:30,080 Speaker 2: And obviously as the head coach, I've I've been fortunate 128 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:34,839 Speaker 2: enough to have enough success and I've got enough status 129 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:38,720 Speaker 2: in this league, and I've made enough money that I 130 00:06:38,839 --> 00:06:41,279 Speaker 2: feel like like I'm gonna be able to be okay 131 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:43,159 Speaker 2: and I'm going to be able to provide for my family. 132 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:46,480 Speaker 2: But there's some young guys that are on my staff that, man, 133 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:48,480 Speaker 2: it's gonna be really hard for them, and so I've 134 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:51,120 Speaker 2: got to figure out how I'm gonna help them stay 135 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:52,919 Speaker 2: alive in this professional do. 136 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:55,560 Speaker 1: You tell your staff how long is you? And then 137 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,719 Speaker 1: after you tell your staff, okay, good chance, tell them 138 00:06:58,720 --> 00:06:59,240 Speaker 1: players or no? 139 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:05,040 Speaker 2: Usually not. And you know again because in the in 140 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:08,480 Speaker 2: the in the world that we live in nowadays, like 141 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:12,640 Speaker 2: things happen and it becomes now public knowledge, and it 142 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:18,280 Speaker 2: happens fast. And so as a prideful man, I don't 143 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 2: want to be walking out of the parking lot with 144 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:26,160 Speaker 2: a thousand cameras on me, you know. And given that, 145 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,640 Speaker 2: you know part of the story. So most of my 146 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:32,679 Speaker 2: stuff with the players ended up being you know, sending 147 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:35,239 Speaker 2: in a text you know, or call or whatever. 148 00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:37,960 Speaker 1: And uh, but it's pretty wild too you think about it. 149 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,760 Speaker 1: You're you're in New Orleans forra total fifteen years, right, 150 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:44,720 Speaker 1: and then you're fired and you're just gone. It's like again, 151 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:47,160 Speaker 1: you guys say, next man up. For players, it's same 152 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:49,080 Speaker 1: thing with what happens when a coach cats youm moved 153 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:51,200 Speaker 1: to and just the players they just never see again, 154 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:52,560 Speaker 1: you know. And these guys for a long I mean, 155 00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:55,600 Speaker 1: how long were you with kem Jurdan for well, so 156 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:58,840 Speaker 1: much of his career, most of us got we don't. 157 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,840 Speaker 2: See him again since two thousand, when in fifteen I 158 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:03,440 Speaker 2: was I was with the cancer. What's that nine years? Right? 159 00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:05,560 Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, and then ultimate one day 160 00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:06,640 Speaker 1: you just don't see that. 161 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:09,880 Speaker 2: It's tough. Yeah, it's tough. Yeah, it's hard. It's hard 162 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:13,400 Speaker 2: because you go through so much together, you know, in 163 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:16,440 Speaker 2: the profession that we're in, a it's a it's a 164 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:19,640 Speaker 2: great profession, but it's a difficult business to be in. 165 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:22,640 Speaker 2: And you know, here's the thing for the players it's 166 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:25,840 Speaker 2: really difficult. Is they see it a lot more than 167 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:28,680 Speaker 2: we do as coaches, because when you really think about it, 168 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:32,240 Speaker 2: when you go through training camp, we fire or cut 169 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:39,320 Speaker 2: you know, thirty forty right people in training camp, right, 170 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:43,000 Speaker 2: and so their friends each year, year, each year, and 171 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:46,199 Speaker 2: they just got to show up, back out of practice 172 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:48,120 Speaker 2: the next day and here we go, right, you know, 173 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:51,600 Speaker 2: And so man, it's kind of an interesting tough time. 174 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:55,079 Speaker 1: Yeah, do you almost prepare because you've been around it 175 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,040 Speaker 1: and your dad playing the NFL, you've been around it. 176 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,800 Speaker 1: Is it easier for you to say yours elf, Hey, 177 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:02,559 Speaker 1: it's just the way the league is. I'm just not 178 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:04,360 Speaker 1: gonna see people. I'm not gonna hear from a lot 179 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,040 Speaker 1: of people because they got a game. 180 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:10,280 Speaker 3: Sunday and that's it. Or it's still like, man, it's 181 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:14,600 Speaker 3: it hard to play that mind game something yeah, well yeah, 182 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:19,160 Speaker 3: and you got to try not to, you know, I 183 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:27,840 Speaker 3: try to not project my self or my feelings onto 184 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:32,000 Speaker 3: somebody else, meaning I don't know what's going through their mind. 185 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:35,559 Speaker 3: I don't know what how are they look, it's a 186 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:38,040 Speaker 3: hard process for them to deal with, like how do 187 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:40,280 Speaker 3: they process that information? 188 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,959 Speaker 2: You know? And even all my staff, you know, I 189 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:47,000 Speaker 2: had some guys that came in and saw me right 190 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:51,280 Speaker 2: after I had a meeting. They came into my came 191 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:56,520 Speaker 2: into my office and said, you know, hey, I appreciate 192 00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:59,040 Speaker 2: you know what you've done for me, and I appreciate 193 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:03,319 Speaker 2: how you've help me along. I've had some guys that 194 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:06,120 Speaker 2: then I get a text from them a day later. 195 00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:09,000 Speaker 2: Some guys called me a week later. You know, they 196 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:14,360 Speaker 2: just they'll process differently. Well, it's let's let's process grief 197 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:18,040 Speaker 2: how we process grief, right, like, and you have to 198 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:20,000 Speaker 2: allow people to be able to process it the way 199 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,040 Speaker 2: that they need to process it. 200 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:25,560 Speaker 1: Interesting. What advice would you give to people this week? 201 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:29,439 Speaker 1: Now that you've been through twice who were just going 202 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:30,040 Speaker 1: from So. 203 00:10:30,559 --> 00:10:33,000 Speaker 2: I would say this, I would say, look, you have 204 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:35,520 Speaker 2: to control the things that you can control, and you 205 00:10:35,679 --> 00:10:39,520 Speaker 2: can't control somebody else's decision on what they want to 206 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:44,520 Speaker 2: do with their business. And so look, you wake up 207 00:10:44,559 --> 00:10:46,520 Speaker 2: as a as a head coach every day or as 208 00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:49,839 Speaker 2: a coach every day, and and you have one of 209 00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:54,840 Speaker 2: your purposes is to help people get better? Right, well, 210 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:58,480 Speaker 2: so how do I how do I fulfill that purpose? 211 00:10:58,559 --> 00:11:02,800 Speaker 2: I pour that out into my family, you know. So 212 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:07,200 Speaker 2: I spent the last what's it been two months really 213 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:10,120 Speaker 2: trying to pour into my family because as coach, you 214 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:12,599 Speaker 2: miss a lot, like you know, you miss Thanksgiving, you 215 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:15,920 Speaker 2: miss Christmas, those things with your family. I mean a 216 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:18,600 Speaker 2: lot of times those are like you go into work 217 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:21,640 Speaker 2: half day and then you get half half of that day, 218 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:23,840 Speaker 2: Whereas you know, a lot of people in this world 219 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:26,200 Speaker 2: get to experience those things. So you just pour into 220 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:29,000 Speaker 2: your family, like I've done a couple of you know, 221 00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:31,400 Speaker 2: kind of vacation things to get away. I went and 222 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:34,880 Speaker 2: saw my daughter swim in Cleveland. I went and saw 223 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:38,120 Speaker 2: my son's swim and Charlotte, things that I don't normally 224 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,439 Speaker 2: get an opportunity to do so, appreciate that. 225 00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:42,400 Speaker 1: Appreciate that because it's the only time you're ever going 226 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:45,079 Speaker 1: to do it, really, when you're fired. There's no other time. No, 227 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,319 Speaker 1: you're gonna be able to do this, if you're a 228 00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:50,520 Speaker 1: coach in the NFL, if you're a personnel anything that's right. 229 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:56,280 Speaker 2: And so again, let's it's a tough situation. Nobody likes it. 230 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:59,880 Speaker 2: I mean, it hurts, right, But you can sit there 231 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:03,640 Speaker 2: and dwell on the negatives, or you can take a 232 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:05,920 Speaker 2: bad situation and try to turn it into a positive. 233 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:08,600 Speaker 2: And so I try to, you know, pour that into 234 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,199 Speaker 2: my family and get to spend some family time that 235 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:15,360 Speaker 2: you know, look, unfortunately in our lead, you hope that 236 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:16,920 Speaker 2: you don't really get a chance to do that a. 237 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,679 Speaker 1: Lot, right, you know a lot of times when I 238 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,600 Speaker 1: when things will happen with me, it's easy to say, man, 239 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:25,560 Speaker 1: you're angry when it happens. One of the things I'm 240 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:28,839 Speaker 1: trying to do with my like to help myself is 241 00:12:29,559 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 1: take away the resentment toward whatever I was helping and 242 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:35,319 Speaker 1: just like, what was my culpability? 243 00:12:35,559 --> 00:12:36,280 Speaker 2: What was this? Now? 244 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:37,360 Speaker 1: A lot of times it could have been there a 245 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:40,160 Speaker 1: full one hundred percent but I still if I live 246 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,920 Speaker 1: in that way and just have blame and resentment toward 247 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:46,160 Speaker 1: that person, I'm never going to get through it. I mean, 248 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:49,319 Speaker 1: what did you do here between the years? Like I say, 249 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:51,800 Speaker 1: I played that little game with myself. Is there anything 250 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:54,600 Speaker 1: else you've done to kind of because we can't move 251 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:55,839 Speaker 1: forward in resentment? Right? 252 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:59,840 Speaker 2: Yeah? That again I think this. I think I really 253 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:03,600 Speaker 2: try to focus on controlling the things that I can control, 254 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:08,000 Speaker 2: and when I think about getting fired, I really think about, well, look, 255 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:12,199 Speaker 2: as this is your this is your company, this is 256 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:15,719 Speaker 2: your organization. You have the right to do whatever you 257 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,840 Speaker 2: want to do with that. And I don't look at 258 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:22,120 Speaker 2: it as you know, I failed. I look at it 259 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,760 Speaker 2: as they just decided they wanted to go in a 260 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:28,319 Speaker 2: different direction. And if I'm not what they want, I 261 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:30,160 Speaker 2: think there's a lot of thoughts that I will be 262 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:30,760 Speaker 2: what they want. 263 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:34,280 Speaker 1: Right the guy I found in an organization where I 264 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:39,640 Speaker 1: help people veterans and athletes get through transition of not 265 00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:41,600 Speaker 1: having your locker room. And that was the biggest thing. 266 00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:44,240 Speaker 1: When you lose your locker room, it sucks. And that's 267 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:46,960 Speaker 1: you know, always talk about one of the biggest ways 268 00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:50,960 Speaker 1: we get through I call the great depression, anxiety, his team. 269 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,720 Speaker 2: Have your team, team, team, team, team. When you lose, 270 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:54,280 Speaker 2: it sucks. 271 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:56,200 Speaker 1: It's a scary thing. It's about guys like me, still 272 00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:59,240 Speaker 1: sparred fifty five years of age. I need that, I 273 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:02,040 Speaker 1: need my team, I need my locker and everybody, Scotts, 274 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,199 Speaker 1: what are you still doing this for? I'm doing it 275 00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:08,760 Speaker 1: because I need that group. How hard is that to 276 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:11,400 Speaker 1: lose your locker room? I would think that's one of 277 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:12,439 Speaker 1: the more difficult parts of it. 278 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:16,120 Speaker 2: It's Look, it's the most difficult part because you spend 279 00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:20,360 Speaker 2: so much time with these players, these coaches, these personnel people, 280 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:26,000 Speaker 2: and there you're there, You're you spend more time with 281 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:29,000 Speaker 2: them than you do with your family sometimes. And so 282 00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:34,440 Speaker 2: what you have to do is find out who's your 283 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:41,280 Speaker 2: other team. So my other team is my family, my wife, 284 00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:47,400 Speaker 2: my son, my daughter, my mom, my brother, my sister, 285 00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:52,800 Speaker 2: and you lean into them and they become your your team, 286 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,360 Speaker 2: you know. And then you have friends, you have friends 287 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:58,080 Speaker 2: like Jay Glazier that you can lean into uh and 288 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:01,800 Speaker 2: talk to and and feel like you're still part of 289 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:04,920 Speaker 2: something that's bigger than yourself, you know. And so you 290 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:07,400 Speaker 2: just got to find who's your who's your next team, 291 00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:11,520 Speaker 2: and your next team, not necessarily is the next NFL 292 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:12,160 Speaker 2: team you work for. 293 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:15,720 Speaker 1: You were telling my wife the other day, how many 294 00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:19,560 Speaker 1: places have you been in your hold? 295 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:21,320 Speaker 2: You? I am fifty two? 296 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:23,240 Speaker 1: Fifty two? May you look terrible? 297 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:23,600 Speaker 2: Yeah? 298 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:29,520 Speaker 1: Oh, I on the other hand, looked that guy exactly. 299 00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:31,080 Speaker 2: How many places? 300 00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:34,320 Speaker 1: How many stops have you lived in in your when'd 301 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:34,880 Speaker 1: you start your career? 302 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,800 Speaker 2: Uh? So I started when I finished playing at Texas 303 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:41,320 Speaker 2: A and M. So my first year coaching was nineteen 304 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:44,640 Speaker 2: ninety sixty twenty three. 305 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:48,560 Speaker 1: Okay, who was that? Twenty nine years? Yeah? Okay? How 306 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:50,680 Speaker 1: many different places have you lived in twenty nine years? 307 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,360 Speaker 1: This is the thing that people don't get. They don't understand, 308 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:56,760 Speaker 1: like your wife, kids left, and how many places you 309 00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:58,680 Speaker 1: have to move? Yeah, it was just you know, my 310 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:00,480 Speaker 1: wife was just this. 311 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:05,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, so I was my wife and I we 312 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:07,680 Speaker 2: got married as soon as I finished playing football, so 313 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:12,040 Speaker 2: she's been with me through this whole thing. We coached 314 00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:15,040 Speaker 2: as graduate assistant Texa A and M for four years, 315 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,200 Speaker 2: and we were two years at the University of Tulsa. 316 00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:23,640 Speaker 2: We were four years at the Atlanta Falcons. We were 317 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:26,080 Speaker 2: five years with the New Orleans Saints. We're one season 318 00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:29,800 Speaker 2: with the Denver Broncos. We were three seasons with the 319 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:32,720 Speaker 2: Oakland Raiders. We came back to New Orleans for now 320 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:37,200 Speaker 2: ten years and then now we're where. 321 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:40,280 Speaker 4: We're going to be seven places, Yeah, seven places, and 322 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:44,640 Speaker 4: I'm fortunate. I'm fortunate I had stays of four years, 323 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:48,440 Speaker 4: five years, ten years. You know, like there's a lot 324 00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:52,040 Speaker 4: of coaches that are there for two years, three years, 325 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:53,160 Speaker 4: and then they're moving on. 326 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,160 Speaker 5: The kids can never get friends because they've got to 327 00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:59,120 Speaker 5: bounce around. Absolutely like an army prize. Absolutely, it's very similar. 328 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:01,680 Speaker 5: You know, like I look at it like I'm I'm 329 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:04,040 Speaker 5: fortunate that I've been able to spend fifteen years in 330 00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:07,000 Speaker 5: one spot. Not many people in our profession get to 331 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:07,240 Speaker 5: do that. 332 00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:10,639 Speaker 2: So it's yeah, there's a lot of picking up and 333 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:13,600 Speaker 2: moving and so you got to have a strong family 334 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:15,480 Speaker 2: dynamic to get through it over time. 335 00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:17,960 Speaker 1: Do you again you still look, you know, be the 336 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,000 Speaker 1: same for that last ten years. That's a long period. 337 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:23,879 Speaker 1: But again four two, three, whatever it is, do you 338 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:26,960 Speaker 1: intentionally make sure you don't get close to people because 339 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:29,040 Speaker 1: you know you can leave or you say no, I'm 340 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:31,960 Speaker 1: friends nowt it's good. We'll collect them over over the years. 341 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:35,520 Speaker 2: Well, no, I think you've got to be where your 342 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:37,760 Speaker 2: feet are at that moment, and you've got to try to, 343 00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:42,760 Speaker 2: you know, invest everything you possibly can into that situation 344 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,920 Speaker 2: for the amount of time that you're there, you know, 345 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:48,720 Speaker 2: and then when it becomes time to move on, then 346 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:50,080 Speaker 2: you move on. And here's the cool thing. 347 00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:53,119 Speaker 6: Like I was talking to my wife about this, you know, 348 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:56,600 Speaker 6: because again, like I said, this doesn't just affect me, right, 349 00:17:56,920 --> 00:18:00,199 Speaker 6: this affects everybody, and it's difficult on her. 350 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:05,320 Speaker 2: But like I said to her, you know, look when 351 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:08,600 Speaker 2: we we were in New Orleans for five years, and 352 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:12,720 Speaker 2: she had a friend that she became really really close to, 353 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,159 Speaker 2: and they hung out and they did everything together. And 354 00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,119 Speaker 2: then all of a sudden, we move and we go 355 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:24,280 Speaker 2: to Denver, and obviously it's for promotion, so there's that 356 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:27,560 Speaker 2: positive part of it. But then she meets Kelly McCoy, 357 00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:30,280 Speaker 2: who she becomes friends with and she still talks to 358 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:33,359 Speaker 2: to this day. And then we leave Denver and we 359 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:36,320 Speaker 2: go to Oakland and we start over and we've got 360 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:38,760 Speaker 2: friends that lived across the street from us that we 361 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:42,000 Speaker 2: still vacation with and do all kinds of different stuff 362 00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:44,560 Speaker 2: with that have become best friends to us, and so 363 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:49,159 Speaker 2: like each move, man, I look at it like we 364 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:52,720 Speaker 2: had an opportunity to make some really great friends that 365 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:55,600 Speaker 2: are friends for life. So that's cool. 366 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:58,080 Speaker 1: Like that, we bring up my wife, Allison, what advice 367 00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:00,640 Speaker 1: would you give lives out there had to go through 368 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:04,040 Speaker 1: this when this happens. Yeah, I think just these, like 369 00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:05,280 Speaker 1: you said, they're just as bad a part. 370 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:08,560 Speaker 2: I think, I think the key to the whole thing 371 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:14,520 Speaker 2: is is just you know, enjoy and appreciate the things 372 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:19,359 Speaker 2: that you have or had and try to try to 373 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:23,880 Speaker 2: try to think about it from the the positive aspect 374 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:29,159 Speaker 2: and don't dwell so much on well this happened and 375 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:32,840 Speaker 2: why did this happen and how come? And and I 376 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,760 Speaker 2: don't really try to figure out the wise and I 377 00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:37,480 Speaker 2: and I encourage her not to really figure out the 378 00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:41,920 Speaker 2: wise because we don't know the wise because it wasn't 379 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:44,320 Speaker 2: our decision and we weren't in control of it. So 380 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:52,520 Speaker 2: I would I would encourage all the wives to really 381 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:56,000 Speaker 2: just try to enjoy the time that you have with 382 00:19:56,119 --> 00:20:00,200 Speaker 2: your with your family and have your family altogether, and 383 00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:03,440 Speaker 2: not worry about, you know, the negative aspect of it 384 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:04,240 Speaker 2: and what you lost. 385 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:07,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, because I think there's an interesting dynamic because the 386 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:10,399 Speaker 1: wives are usually angrier than the husbands, right, But at 387 00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:13,960 Speaker 1: the same time, right, no questions because they're protectors. But 388 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:18,640 Speaker 1: at the same time, when they're angry, you're like, let's 389 00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,040 Speaker 1: pull it off because then I don't want to be angry. 390 00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:22,600 Speaker 1: I don't want to live in that. So they're protecting you. 391 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,320 Speaker 1: At the same time, you're like, hey, we need more positivity, 392 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:26,960 Speaker 1: but it's hard for them to be positive because they're 393 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:27,440 Speaker 1: protecting you. 394 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:31,119 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I would say that that's a struggle for 395 00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:36,320 Speaker 2: me individually, and I would assume I probably can't speak 396 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:39,040 Speaker 2: for other people, but just I would assume that that's 397 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:43,119 Speaker 2: probably something that all coaches kind of go through because 398 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:48,280 Speaker 2: we we're we're we're so used to we don't need help, 399 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:52,600 Speaker 2: you know, we can handle it. We can deal with it, 400 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:58,199 Speaker 2: you know. And so and like I said, everybody, everybody 401 00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,879 Speaker 2: a grieves differently, right, and so you have to allow 402 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:04,080 Speaker 2: people to grieve in their way. And I think, look, 403 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,480 Speaker 2: it's obviously, you know, a challenge for me, and I 404 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:07,719 Speaker 2: have to work on that with her. 405 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:10,200 Speaker 1: You know. The head coaching job is interesting. And I 406 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:11,760 Speaker 1: go and talk to team a lot now and I 407 00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:15,320 Speaker 1: tell all the players listen, leaders and coaches. Leaders take 408 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:18,280 Speaker 1: care everybody else who takes care of the leaders, who's 409 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,480 Speaker 1: there for them. They got to take on all yourself, 410 00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:22,600 Speaker 1: all your grief. Every time there's a tragic, every time 411 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,960 Speaker 1: there's an issue, whatever it is, it all comes across 412 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:28,120 Speaker 1: your desk. And you train to be a football coach. 413 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:30,480 Speaker 1: You didn't go to school for psychology or you're a 414 00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:33,800 Speaker 1: psychiatry or trum a trump expert. And I really learned 415 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:39,280 Speaker 1: this back in and I'm going to say, oh five, 416 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:42,679 Speaker 1: Mike Nolan was the head coach of the forty nine ers, 417 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:49,120 Speaker 1: his first ever training camp, their first preseason game. You're 418 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:53,280 Speaker 1: right tackle Thomas Arrah who passed away in the locker 419 00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:57,520 Speaker 1: room right there, and just first time, first time a 420 00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:59,639 Speaker 1: preseason game. Guys with his whole life to be a 421 00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:02,639 Speaker 1: you know, head coach, first ever a preseason game. And 422 00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:04,440 Speaker 1: I remember talking to his wife. I said, how was 423 00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:09,320 Speaker 1: he holding up? She's like, not good. Just's he's acting 424 00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:12,240 Speaker 1: like he's good so he could be there for everyone else. 425 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:14,880 Speaker 1: But I'm worried about I said, I'm on a plane 426 00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:16,360 Speaker 1: and I lived in New York. 427 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:17,040 Speaker 2: I live. 428 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:20,399 Speaker 1: He often a plane, flew across the country to make 429 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:22,280 Speaker 1: sure he had someone to cry to and someone break 430 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:24,320 Speaker 1: down to. And it was just like that, like he 431 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:28,080 Speaker 1: and was in some hotel room he could walk it in, 432 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:29,560 Speaker 1: just started crying. 433 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:30,199 Speaker 2: Right. 434 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:33,760 Speaker 1: But that's my point. There's no schooling. How do you 435 00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:37,800 Speaker 1: lead fifty three other men the whole building through a tragedy? 436 00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:41,040 Speaker 1: How do you lead people through when you have, you know, 437 00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:44,560 Speaker 1: in personal issues in the building, Like there is no 438 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,280 Speaker 1: forse for this for a head coach. And I always 439 00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:49,520 Speaker 1: thought it was just an interesting dynamic, and especially this, 440 00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:51,280 Speaker 1: like you've got to be there for everybody else, but 441 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:51,840 Speaker 1: who's there for you? 442 00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:57,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think that's where you have to have 443 00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:01,480 Speaker 2: somebody that you can lean into, the not in that 444 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:06,639 Speaker 2: building all the time. And so it has to be 445 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,480 Speaker 2: your escape. It has to be your way to get away. 446 00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:13,480 Speaker 2: For me, that's my family, right, you know, because you 447 00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:16,800 Speaker 2: do deal with a lot of things, and again there 448 00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:21,440 Speaker 2: is no there's no manual for how to deal with 449 00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:25,520 Speaker 2: these things. You just have to kind of step back 450 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:30,440 Speaker 2: and give yourself a moment to think about, how do 451 00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:33,440 Speaker 2: I want to you know, approach this and and and 452 00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:35,920 Speaker 2: I'm sure there's probably times where you approach it better 453 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:39,280 Speaker 2: than others, Like in that situation you're talking about with 454 00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:43,000 Speaker 2: Mike Nolan, I mean, how do you how do you 455 00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:45,920 Speaker 2: deal with that? But what you have to do is 456 00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:51,119 Speaker 2: somebody has to stand up and be out front and 457 00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:58,320 Speaker 2: be a sense of calmness and a sense of security 458 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:04,720 Speaker 2: that everything's gonna be okay, even though inside it may 459 00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:10,640 Speaker 2: not be. And so because when you get in those situations, 460 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:15,720 Speaker 2: there's so many crazy thoughts that are going through everybody's 461 00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:18,760 Speaker 2: head and you have no idea what's going through everybody's 462 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:21,560 Speaker 2: head because again, people handle things differently, right, And so 463 00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:25,720 Speaker 2: what you what you have to be is you have 464 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:28,440 Speaker 2: to be the guy that's out front that's gonna, you know, 465 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:29,959 Speaker 2: give everybody a sense of calmness. 466 00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:32,600 Speaker 1: But there's no godbook to tell you that. No, you 467 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:34,479 Speaker 1: just have to figure it out on the fly, correct, Right. 468 00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:38,480 Speaker 2: It's just any situation is different, right, I mean, like 469 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:40,199 Speaker 2: how do you handle these things? Right? 470 00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:42,280 Speaker 1: And there's all sorts of stuff that comes across your 471 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:45,000 Speaker 1: like you got to deal with baby Mama drama, you 472 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:48,280 Speaker 1: gotta do right, You gotta deal with agents, but you 473 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,320 Speaker 1: gotta deal with players all of a sudden, like man 474 00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:52,920 Speaker 1: one day and look, we're all I think the world 475 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:56,200 Speaker 1: is a is a I'm gonna say it's a little 476 00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:58,680 Speaker 1: crazier now than never before because of social media. So 477 00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:01,600 Speaker 1: now there's all this pressure that guys didn't have way 478 00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:03,480 Speaker 1: back in the day when you started and I started, 479 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:05,680 Speaker 1: And they're worried about what people are thinking, and they're 480 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:11,920 Speaker 1: you know, getting crushed on just Twitter NonStop, and you 481 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,119 Speaker 1: know these are these are sensive cat It's funny. My 482 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:16,440 Speaker 1: fight team and I we well teammates and I like 483 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:20,240 Speaker 1: me Randy guitar marker and Alex Carolex has got together 484 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:22,879 Speaker 1: recently and we were joking around saying, you know that 485 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:25,160 Speaker 1: old sticks and stones way break my bones, and words 486 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,520 Speaker 1: and never hurt me. We're the opposite six and soelves 487 00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:30,119 Speaker 1: do not break our bones. But man, words hit the 488 00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:33,480 Speaker 1: hurt the ship out of us. You deal with some 489 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:37,520 Speaker 1: sensitive ass people. We are sensitive man, and you've got 490 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,560 Speaker 1: to deal with all that again while you're trying to 491 00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:43,080 Speaker 1: put together a game plan for everybody else. Is the 492 00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:45,840 Speaker 1: head coaching job more about that or more about the 493 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:46,320 Speaker 1: game plan? 494 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:53,240 Speaker 2: Oh, it's definitely more about managing people because and again, 495 00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:56,520 Speaker 2: there's so much more that goes into it than just football. 496 00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:59,199 Speaker 2: You know, in the in the world that we live 497 00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:04,720 Speaker 2: in was social and and everything everything that every person 498 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,119 Speaker 2: does in the National Football League has lived out in 499 00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:11,840 Speaker 2: the public eye, and so you're constantly having to deal 500 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:17,680 Speaker 2: with what other people's thoughts and opinions are about you. 501 00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:21,600 Speaker 2: And so again, I think that's where you just got 502 00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:24,680 Speaker 2: to be able to talk to your players and get 503 00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:29,520 Speaker 2: them to understand. Look, again, control the controllables. Control the 504 00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:33,520 Speaker 2: things that you can control, you know with which is 505 00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:36,720 Speaker 2: your work ethic, which is your attitude, which is your 506 00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:39,399 Speaker 2: love for the for the sport, and your love for 507 00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:42,560 Speaker 2: your teammates, and your willingness to go to battle with 508 00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:46,960 Speaker 2: those guys. Because a you're never going to make everybody happy, 509 00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:53,720 Speaker 2: and so be you can't control the way somebody is 510 00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:57,879 Speaker 2: going to feel about you, and so you know, and 511 00:26:58,000 --> 00:26:59,000 Speaker 2: that's easier said than none. 512 00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:01,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, because back in the day, it used to be, hey, 513 00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:02,920 Speaker 1: don't read the paper, and it was there for one day. 514 00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:05,440 Speaker 1: If you didn't read that paper, the next day, you're okay. 515 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:06,840 Speaker 1: Now that doesn't exist. 516 00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:09,600 Speaker 2: Well, you can't avoid it. You can't avoid it. And 517 00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:10,719 Speaker 2: in all of us. 518 00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:13,040 Speaker 1: And you can tell these guys not to go on 519 00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:16,000 Speaker 1: social media, they're gonna go on it. That's it as 520 00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:17,719 Speaker 1: much as you can tell them, they go or if 521 00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:19,800 Speaker 1: they don't go on it, some one of their circle 522 00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:21,399 Speaker 1: goes on and start telling them. Then you want to 523 00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:22,800 Speaker 1: look up what did this person say about me? 524 00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:28,520 Speaker 2: Exactly right, you know, and so which is it? It's 525 00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:29,840 Speaker 2: it's it's difficult. 526 00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:31,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, they can't. Yeah, coaches can't just say get up 527 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:34,080 Speaker 1: social media and it's not gonna work, and and you 528 00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:35,000 Speaker 1: got to deal with it better. 529 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:39,440 Speaker 2: And so you just got to try to educate them 530 00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:43,960 Speaker 2: on look, you're not gonna make everybody happy. You're not 531 00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:49,720 Speaker 2: gonna nobody has the perfect scenario. And so you have 532 00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:54,800 Speaker 2: to think about you and what are you doing? And 533 00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:59,160 Speaker 2: it's all about your own self satisfaction. Don't ever let 534 00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:03,680 Speaker 2: somebody else else have the power over you to control 535 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:09,840 Speaker 2: your mood or control your happiness. Your happiness has to 536 00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:13,480 Speaker 2: be controlled by how you feel about yourself. And again 537 00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:16,920 Speaker 2: in the day of the teacher's stead that done when 538 00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:19,119 Speaker 2: when the head coach gets fired, it's not just the 539 00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:21,520 Speaker 2: head coach. There's a lot of things that go into that, 540 00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:26,680 Speaker 2: you know, I mean, you know there's some there's certainly 541 00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:30,080 Speaker 2: some some things that from a coaching standpoint that needed 542 00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:33,080 Speaker 2: to be done better. Right from the head coaches standpoint, 543 00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:36,200 Speaker 2: from the coordinator standpoint, from the assistant coaches standpoint, and 544 00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:38,480 Speaker 2: there's some things from a playing standpoint that needed to 545 00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:41,360 Speaker 2: be done better. You know, very rarely do you see 546 00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:46,480 Speaker 2: the players playing great and the head coach get fired. Right, 547 00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:48,280 Speaker 2: So there's a lot of factors that go into it. 548 00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:52,480 Speaker 2: There's some personnel decisions that go into it, you know, 549 00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:56,640 Speaker 2: and uh, but as the head coach, you know, it 550 00:28:56,760 --> 00:29:00,000 Speaker 2: falls under your guys and responsibility for the whole organization 551 00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:04,440 Speaker 2: and so so therefore that's usually you know, where the 552 00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:09,880 Speaker 2: change occurs. But there's usually a lot of other things 553 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:14,680 Speaker 2: within the organization that need some change when those things happen. 554 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:16,800 Speaker 1: So I've had guys go both ways in this. When 555 00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:20,960 Speaker 1: you lose your job, some guys they still dive in, 556 00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:22,840 Speaker 1: like I just love footall. I'm gonna keep I'm gonna 557 00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:25,440 Speaker 1: watch everything next week and after it keep doing it. 558 00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:27,680 Speaker 1: You know, looking at guys personal and some other guys 559 00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:29,320 Speaker 1: say I turn it off completely. I just need to 560 00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:35,200 Speaker 1: step away and exhale, which is your way. I'm closer 561 00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:38,760 Speaker 1: to the second way. I'm closer to the exhale, get 562 00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:44,240 Speaker 1: away from it all. You know, Look, it's it's part 563 00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:46,520 Speaker 1: of It's not it's not who I am, but it's 564 00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:49,040 Speaker 1: part of what I am, right right, And it's been 565 00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:50,880 Speaker 1: that way for a long time. I mean, I started 566 00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:54,400 Speaker 1: playing tackle football in the second grade, so it's always 567 00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:57,160 Speaker 1: been a part of my life and so it's hard 568 00:29:57,240 --> 00:30:02,040 Speaker 1: to just totally eliminate it. But like I said, I 569 00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:05,520 Speaker 1: want to choose that time to do things with my 570 00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:09,280 Speaker 1: family that I don't I don't have a chance to do. 571 00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:13,520 Speaker 1: And so that's that's because I'm not gonna forget football 572 00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:15,360 Speaker 1: in two months, right right right. 573 00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:19,880 Speaker 2: I'm still gonna know how to coach football. And I 574 00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:24,000 Speaker 2: know that that I'll have other opportunities. I don't know 575 00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:26,760 Speaker 2: what those opportunities are going to be, but I know 576 00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:30,120 Speaker 2: I'm gonna have other opportunities, and so I'm gonna try 577 00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:31,880 Speaker 2: to get away from it. I'm gonna try to relax 578 00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:35,320 Speaker 2: a little bit, because you know, you get into the 579 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:41,320 Speaker 2: season and it's twenty twenty hour days, you know, seven 580 00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:44,720 Speaker 2: days a week you're working, you know, and so recharge 581 00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:48,200 Speaker 2: the battery a little bit, put put your energy into 582 00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:51,720 Speaker 2: other areas that you probably have been lacking in a 583 00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:54,880 Speaker 2: little bit. I mean, I get back into working out, 584 00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:59,240 Speaker 2: you know, spend time with the family, take some vacations 585 00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:01,479 Speaker 2: that you don't normally get to do, and then wait 586 00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:04,080 Speaker 2: till the end of the year and then figure out 587 00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:04,560 Speaker 2: what you want to do. 588 00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:07,320 Speaker 1: By the way, they're working out part because every coach 589 00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:10,680 Speaker 1: is health suffers during the season and they'll do like you, Hey, 590 00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:12,680 Speaker 1: when I get some time off, I'm gonna eat right, 591 00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:15,040 Speaker 1: I'm gonna you know, I wanna, I'm gonna work out 592 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:16,840 Speaker 1: and all that stuff, which never makes sense to me 593 00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:19,320 Speaker 1: because you have all these strength coaches in the building, 594 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:21,720 Speaker 1: you have people work on your body, you have chefs 595 00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:23,720 Speaker 1: in the building. And I'm always trying to convince my 596 00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:26,680 Speaker 1: guys like I just don't have time. But man, if 597 00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:30,720 Speaker 1: you made that forty minutes a day, whatever, it is 598 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,480 Speaker 1: right and now it's it's kind of hard because you 599 00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:36,280 Speaker 1: just don't think. Man, there's not enough hours in day 600 00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:37,080 Speaker 1: to get your job done. 601 00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:38,280 Speaker 2: But it is amazing to me. 602 00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:40,800 Speaker 1: After all the time, we all know what the pitfalls are, 603 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:46,160 Speaker 1: and everyone's cholesterol goes through the ceiling, everyone's blood pressure 604 00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:47,040 Speaker 1: goes through the ceiling. 605 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:49,760 Speaker 2: It's a it's toxic to your body. 606 00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:54,520 Speaker 1: I wish we can get coaches to put that time aside, 607 00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:56,120 Speaker 1: there's not a lot on to do, like like Seaman 608 00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:59,760 Speaker 1: Bay does. Yeah, right, Matt, what floor does. There's guys 609 00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:02,680 Speaker 1: who you know, Kevin, they make sure they do that. 610 00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:05,600 Speaker 2: What's interesting you mentioned those names because those are some 611 00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:08,440 Speaker 2: of the most successful coaches in our business, you know, 612 00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:11,760 Speaker 2: and and they do a great job with their teams, 613 00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:16,040 Speaker 2: and their teams are always well prepared, they always execute, 614 00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:18,120 Speaker 2: and so you can still come up with a game plan, 615 00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:23,440 Speaker 2: you can find time to do it. You know. I 616 00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:27,480 Speaker 2: wasn't one of those guys, but most aren't. Most It's 617 00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:31,520 Speaker 2: so here's what's interesting, right, So you think I'm going 618 00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:37,440 Speaker 2: to get exercise and that's going to be a way 619 00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:42,480 Speaker 2: that I can alleviate stress, right, which normally it is. 620 00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:45,560 Speaker 2: It creates more stress for me because you think because 621 00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:49,200 Speaker 2: I think that I'm doing this and this is what 622 00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:52,760 Speaker 2: I should be or could be doing, you know, and 623 00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:56,800 Speaker 2: so I'm always thinking about what I'm not doing as opposed. 624 00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:59,920 Speaker 1: To you'll be better at what you're doing if you 625 00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:02,640 Speaker 1: take this forty minutes, Corre. It's not how you're yeah, 626 00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:03,480 Speaker 1: I know. 627 00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:05,920 Speaker 2: It's not how. That's not how. You know a lot 628 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:07,880 Speaker 2: of a lot of guys are wired that. 629 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, it really is. If you're missing out of Man, 630 00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:11,360 Speaker 1: I got forty extra minutes, I could be working on 631 00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:14,600 Speaker 1: this game planner, watching this tape, and now, Coaches, if 632 00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:17,320 Speaker 1: you're hearing this, take the forty minutes. Take the forty minutes, 633 00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:23,080 Speaker 1: trust workout. The film will still be there when you 634 00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:26,640 Speaker 1: get done right right right, Man. I appreciate you joining us, dude, 635 00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:29,080 Speaker 1: I really do. I'm proudy and I think you could 636 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:31,400 Speaker 1: help a lot of people with us, because, like we said, 637 00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:34,560 Speaker 1: as a head coach, there's no guidebook for when the 638 00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:37,000 Speaker 1: players or somebody else has to go through something difficult. Well, 639 00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:39,920 Speaker 1: there's no God book for you guys when something like 640 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,520 Speaker 1: this happens. So I'm glad you could be a guide 641 00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:44,200 Speaker 1: for a lot of brotherren out there. 642 00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:46,480 Speaker 2: Man. Yeah, absolutely, because there's a lot of us that 643 00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:48,640 Speaker 2: go through it. Appreciate your brother absolutely. 644 00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:52,400 Speaker 1: Man Hey will continue no matter what dnos. He has 645 00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:54,720 Speaker 1: teammates that are out there. You too too. Thanks for 646 00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:57,040 Speaker 1: joining us on the Unbreakable Mental Wealth Podcast.