Speaker 1: The Nikki Gliser Pugain, Niki Gleser pos Hello here, I
Speaker 1: An and welcome to the show. It's Niklaser Podcast. Sorry
Speaker 1: for that graveliness in my voice. Don't know what's going on.
Speaker 1: It's a great new week of the show. This is
Speaker 1: a very exciting episode. Brian Frangie is here. What's up, Brian?
Speaker 2: What's up? I don't know nothing. I mean, there's so
Speaker 2: many things going on. There's so many things going on
Speaker 2: in the country right now. But other than that, so
Speaker 2: many I mean, it's pretty wild. This is a historic
Speaker 2: time and I don't think we've ever lived through something
Speaker 2: quite as tumultuous. I saw them.
Speaker 1: It was about like how this is going to be
Speaker 1: the hardest part of the ap like GOV exam in
Speaker 1: twenty fifty two or whatever, Like this is going to
Speaker 1: be the one that's we'll really get you.
Speaker 2: No, I think about that like that there's going to
Speaker 2: be students ten years from now who are going to
Speaker 2: have to like learn about nine to eleven.
Speaker 1: Oh, like they're not teaching it yet, you don't think.
Speaker 2: I mean no, I don't think so. They're still trying
Speaker 2: to cover it up. But I think ten years from now,
Speaker 2: when things get more free. I think, I think it
Speaker 2: is my favorite day. That would be my favorite.
Speaker 1: Week of school is the day we learn about nine
Speaker 1: to eleven. Let's get speaking of nine to eleven, let's
Speaker 1: get into this conversation. He is one of the funniest
Speaker 1: people I know. He and we had a podcast together
Speaker 1: with Brian Frangie. It was my second podcast of my life,
Speaker 1: and this is I think my fifth. But he is
Speaker 1: so funny. He has a special on YouTube and I
Speaker 1: didn't look up the name Dan.
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry, Dance Fatty Dance.
Speaker 1: Dance Fatty Dance. How could you forget that? It's Dan
Speaker 1: Saint Jermaine. Everyone Hello. We had a podcast, all three
Speaker 1: of us back in the back in the.
Speaker 2: Day, all so called Dance Patty Dance. It was Dance
Speaker 2: Patty Dance with Nikki Glazer.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was nick It was Nicky's three hundred pound period.
Speaker 3: She was quite.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we were. We We all worked on Not Safe,
Speaker 1: which is the show that I hosted on Comedy Central,
Speaker 1: and and we had the not Safe podcast, which was
Speaker 1: the companion podcast to the show. Uh, that's when shows
Speaker 1: were a bigger deal than podcasts.
Speaker 3: Yeah, soon you're gonna have to be like.
Speaker 1: You get a show with the podcast that's so crazy, you're.
Speaker 3: On this network called Comedy Central. To that point, do
Speaker 3: you know that.
Speaker 1: Comedy Central has three, like three shows? I think, Brian,
Speaker 1: you were the.
Speaker 2: One that They've got four shows, Daily.
Speaker 1: Show, South Park, Aquafina, and one other.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's a cartoon called.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well not really not yet, but that's still one of
Speaker 2: their shows technically because it's not canceled. Yeah. No, Comedy
Speaker 2: Central is going extinct. And they've I mean probably out
Speaker 2: of all the channels on cable, they're the ones who
Speaker 2: sacrificed the most collateral that they had out of any
Speaker 2: channel because they were they owned comedy and somehow they
Speaker 2: just gave it up. They just decided, we're not going
Speaker 2: to do anything anymore and let Netflix and Amazon something.
Speaker 1: They didn't try, Like where did it fail? You think?
Speaker 2: I think they stopped trying. They stopped developing shows, they
Speaker 2: stopped investing in comedy, they stopped doing stand up specials,
Speaker 2: they stopped it is.
Speaker 1: This just okay, This is what whenever a business starts
Speaker 1: to go bad, right, and things happen. I always just
Speaker 1: look to like the people working there weren't being paid
Speaker 1: enough to like be passionate about it to make it work. Like,
Speaker 1: isn't that really the underlying issue with everything? When something's
Speaker 1: like you go to a restaurant, you're like, it sucks.
Speaker 1: It's like they're not paying people enough, so it should suck.
Speaker 1: Is that the issue?
Speaker 2: That's part of the issue. But I also point to leadership.
Speaker 2: I think we know from Not Safe that viacom never
Speaker 2: look toward the Internet for any reason. If you were
Speaker 2: called not Safe, wouldn't go on Hulu for like three
Speaker 2: months until after it aired there was and they're very
Speaker 2: limited in what you could put on YouTube. They had
Speaker 2: no respect for the Internet. And I think that ultimately
Speaker 2: is the thing that because they were also the latest
Speaker 2: of the game to get a streamer, to get close
Speaker 2: to a streamer, and I.
Speaker 1: Relate though, I relate to like resisting everything that the
Speaker 1: new people are doing and hoping that it's a fad
Speaker 1: that like passes, or that somehow you'll like survive it.
Speaker 1: You'll be the one who doesn't do it, and so
Speaker 1: that makes you stand out. But then you just ultimately
Speaker 1: give in and start a TikTok exactly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's exactly what I did. Yeah, I mean, you
Speaker 2: just got.
Speaker 1: To give in eventually, and then it.
Speaker 2: Gets banned and you're like, why do not even try?
Speaker 1: I mean, Dan, are you on TikTok?
Speaker 3: I am, but I might get a My social media
Speaker 3: is at like sets your ceiling. It's like like twenty
Speaker 3: one k Instagram, fifty TikTok and it get that up,
Speaker 3: get up.
Speaker 1: To twenty to negative thirty today. He won't lose fifty
Speaker 1: followers to lose thirty. No, it's yeah, you hit a
Speaker 1: ceiling and then like are you trying though? Do you
Speaker 1: like did you hire people?
Speaker 3: Like? I mean, I can't afford anyone to hire, but
Speaker 3: I do three videos a week and I whoa wow,
Speaker 3: Like I cut up all my stuff. I just realized
Speaker 3: that this was recording our entire pot so in scripts,
Speaker 3: so oh god, all of our podcasts was on my
Speaker 3: iPhone right now.
Speaker 1: I love when it does that, and then you look
Speaker 1: back and see what you're really how you're speaking and
Speaker 1: why is it that when you do speak into your
Speaker 1: phone and leave a text like they throw in commas everywhere,
Speaker 1: they're just so comma heavy.
Speaker 3: Oh I don't know, I mean it's all demented. I
Speaker 3: did see a preview for horror movie Saturday. That was like,
Speaker 3: what if it was an egle evil alexis Alexa And
Speaker 3: I'm like, how did it take too long to figure
Speaker 3: that out? You know?
Speaker 2: Isn't that just like two thousand and one? That's that's how?
Speaker 1: Or the one where Scarlet Johansson's the voice, Well, that
Speaker 1: was great. I think she kind of turns. I think
Speaker 1: she gets like shell.
Speaker 2: I don't really remember.
Speaker 1: There's got to be a turn. It's a movie.
Speaker 2: I just remember Jaquin Phoenix wanting to fuck that robot.
Speaker 3: Do you want me to spoil the Yeah?
Speaker 1: Please?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, one's that movie.
Speaker 3: The ending of it, he realizes, because you know, she's
Speaker 3: aim at the end of it, he realizes that he's
Speaker 3: in love with her, but so are like twenty two
Speaker 3: thousand other people. Yeah, reveal is that like she's been
Speaker 3: doing this with a bunch of people at the same time.
Speaker 1: It's like dating Tristan Thompson realizing there's so many girls
Speaker 1: who feel the same way about this person. That's like
Speaker 1: being a sister wife. Though, like I think you'd make
Speaker 1: peace with it, you'd you'd convince yourself. I have a
Speaker 1: different like relationship. I don't know. I'm kind of like
Speaker 1: I think I could get on board with every like
Speaker 1: I share Taylor Swift with everyone, and I feel like.
Speaker 3: You always have said that though, that you think you
Speaker 3: could be in I don't know if it's polyamory.
Speaker 1: Or it's competitive and I will win. I always thought
Speaker 1: I wasn't competitive, but man, am I one of the
Speaker 1: most competitive people alive.
Speaker 3: You cannot do as well as you've done comedy with
Speaker 3: a little bit.
Speaker 1: I always just thought it was such a bad thing
Speaker 1: to be, but now I'm tapping into it. Like I
Speaker 1: never whenever I worked out, I always hired trainers because
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't want to feel like insecure
Speaker 1: next to other I don't want to go to classes.
Speaker 1: I always was like, I'll never do a class because
Speaker 1: I just don't want to feel pressure to do better
Speaker 1: than the other girls next to me. Equals Nikki, you're competitive,
Speaker 1: Like why would that even be a problem. But then
Speaker 1: when I get in there, I do so much better
Speaker 1: because of that. Yeah, so I'm just kind of leaning
Speaker 1: into it. I gotta like start, I got I gotta
Speaker 1: find ways to be more competitive, even though it seems
Speaker 1: to have a negative kind of ration.
Speaker 2: Tapping into what drives you as a three as an
Speaker 2: enneagram three.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2: He's surrounded by people watching you succeed. U is the
Speaker 2: key to your drive?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wish I could be like Anya. Like the
Speaker 1: one night I asked Anya, like, why do you if
Speaker 1: you're not a three? Because I was just so confused
Speaker 1: how an artist could not be an anagram three, which
Speaker 1: Dan that means, like the reason you feel valued is
Speaker 1: if you are important and people are like, wow, you're
Speaker 1: good at this thing. Like that's how that's what drives
Speaker 1: your whole life. Is generally whatever your parents instilled in
Speaker 1: you is important.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you will weird.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And so I'm like, oh, all artists must be
Speaker 1: threes because why would you do this otherwise? Because I'm
Speaker 1: just like thinking from my own perspective of like, yeah,
Speaker 1: there's probably like ten percent of me that's like I
Speaker 1: have something to say and I want to put it
Speaker 1: out there and like make people feel less alone. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a part of it, but it's I think it's
Speaker 1: mainly like, is is my life worth anything?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: And why am I here? Because alternative is I have
Speaker 1: to have kids or some shit, and I don't want
Speaker 1: to do that, so I'd rather it is really hard.
Speaker 3: I think with sports, sometimes you can have somebody who's
Speaker 3: just naturally super gifted, and yeah it doesn't and isn't competitive,
Speaker 3: Like the guy who was on the Dolphins, like Ricky Henderson,
Speaker 3: I think his name is he get.
Speaker 2: Like mmmm, he kept getting kicked out of the league
Speaker 2: because they smelled weed oh, because he.
Speaker 1: Just wasn't like he didn't care about staying in.
Speaker 3: But he was an amazing athlete. Like it was one
Speaker 3: of those things where it's like, I do.
Speaker 2: Think that that can happen with Ricky Williams.
Speaker 3: Stand up because like almost like how many Savadds have
Speaker 3: you known in stand up?
Speaker 1: It's not a thing. I mean Chappelle, yeah, yeah, one
Speaker 1: or two and Carlin, but even Carlin worked so fucking hard,
Speaker 1: and Spille works hard to I don't really know what
Speaker 1: his method is, but I'm dying to know. At some point.
Speaker 1: You're right, like I was thinking about, stand Up's the
Speaker 1: only thing that there aren't that many people that are
Speaker 1: just like born gifted. I think that talent, as we
Speaker 1: all know, is like half just like a gift, and
Speaker 1: then the other half is usually hard work or more
Speaker 1: than half.
Speaker 2: That's why stand up is like the most beautiful art
Speaker 2: form it's because no matter how gifted you are, there's
Speaker 2: no good child who does stand up. Yeah, you can't
Speaker 2: be a funny child stand up.
Speaker 1: That's why I like it too. Yeah, you can't start early,
Speaker 1: so everyone kind of starts as an adult, which any
Speaker 1: other art you just I had to pursue in life.
Speaker 1: If you started as an adult, you are way behind. Wow,
Speaker 1: you're fucked because you didn't have a parent that directed
Speaker 1: you earlier. Where you're gonna get those ten thousand hours
Speaker 1: so much faster. Yeah, we all kind of started the same,
Speaker 1: even like with stand up. I started at eighteen, and
Speaker 1: people were like, oh my god, so jealous you started
Speaker 1: so young, and I was like, yes, I'm so glad
Speaker 1: I got those extra four years or whatever it was
Speaker 1: that it took other people. It's so crucial because you
Speaker 1: was that, what, well.
Speaker 3: You're nervous when you got on stage.
Speaker 1: Or no, No, I mean I was. I overcame my
Speaker 1: stage fright when I was in seventh grade because I
Speaker 1: knew that I wanted to be on TV and that
Speaker 1: was the only thing that I cared about, or like
Speaker 1: being famous, and so I had really bad stage fright.
Speaker 1: But I just was like, you, like, there's not a choice,
Speaker 1: like you just have to overcome it. So I just
Speaker 1: signed up for a play and and prior to that, though,
Speaker 1: I would have to like give presentations during recess for
Speaker 1: my teacher alone because I would just shake in front
Speaker 1: of the class so visibly that it would like it
Speaker 1: was it was, it was Yeah, it was like I
Speaker 1: felt like a handicap that I had to like get
Speaker 1: over to do what I wanted to do, and I
Speaker 1: just had to do it. But by the time I
Speaker 1: was doing stand up, I mean, yeah, I still get nervous.
Speaker 1: Do you guys still get nervous? I mean, it just
Speaker 1: is manifest in different ways.
Speaker 3: I guess, you know, I think it's you know what
Speaker 3: I was thinking. I was I was hanging out. I
Speaker 3: went to a movie with Ari Shaffir on Saturday, and
Speaker 3: he was talking about like he's I think he's moving
Speaker 3: to another city and like that would scare me, like
Speaker 3: he's moving to another country and that would scare me
Speaker 3: to like start doing stand up and like fucking England
Speaker 3: or something like that here, right, yeah, yeah, and uh yeah,
Speaker 3: so that would be like like like truly fish out
Speaker 3: of water, that would be that would be kind of
Speaker 3: nerve wracking.
Speaker 1: Why no, No, it shouldn't be because you're amazing and
Speaker 1: you're gonna show up on a scene where everyone is
Speaker 1: gonna anyone new when a scene, people go this guy
Speaker 1: sucks and then you don't suck, and so that's like
Speaker 1: a setup for like being especially at our level, like
Speaker 1: the top dog on a new scene. I think that
Speaker 1: would be not intimidating. But I just get nervous when
Speaker 1: I'm not prepared. But I am not prepared ninety percent
Speaker 1: of the time, and I think that if I'm prepared,
Speaker 1: like for the roast, I was not nervous. I was calm.
Speaker 1: I was only nervous because of the Kevin Hart joke
Speaker 1: that he had done that was like my joke. That
Speaker 1: was the only thing that I was like ugh. But
Speaker 1: I was like so calm because I had just done
Speaker 1: that set a million times and there was no way
Speaker 1: that I was gonna fuck it up because it was
Speaker 1: I was. I felt so prepared. But if I'm like
Speaker 1: going into something where I'm like, yeah, I think I'll
Speaker 1: remember to say that line and I'll like I just
Speaker 1: even this weekend, like I've been trying to do some
Speaker 1: like old like roast jokes that didn't make it like
Speaker 1: in my set and I saw a picture of myself
Speaker 1: on stage with my phone like reading the roast jokes,
Speaker 1: and I was like, that's not a good look unless
Speaker 1: you're at the show. It looks like I'm just like
Speaker 1: looking at my notes at this theater show. So I
Speaker 1: was like, okay, I got to memorize the roast joke.
Speaker 1: I have to memorize a new roast set. And just
Speaker 1: having that in my back pocket even though I didn't
Speaker 1: even remember to do it, I was like, I prepared
Speaker 1: and I memorized something beforehand. I went into shows this
Speaker 1: weekend so much more confident. But it's like, I'm so
Speaker 1: rarely memorized and prepared. I really, I said, I don't
Speaker 1: do that for myself enough. Do you do you guys?
Speaker 1: Relate to that?
Speaker 3: I mean I could, I just you know, I have
Speaker 3: no like if my problem is I write a lot
Speaker 3: of stand up, but like if it doesn't work once,
Speaker 3: I usually throw it out.
Speaker 1: Where do when do you write stand up? What are
Speaker 1: you doing?
Speaker 3: I usually do Monday, Mondays or Tuesdays. I'll write two
Speaker 3: pages single space times new Roman?
Speaker 1: And is it all funny? Are you like writing? I'm
Speaker 1: not even of course, it's not all funny, But are
Speaker 1: you writing like stuff that is intentionally like not funny?
Speaker 1: Are you kind of trying to adapt it to a
Speaker 1: stand up voice?
Speaker 3: It's different the week I'll try to like write down premises,
Speaker 3: like if I get an idea and.
Speaker 1: Then yeah, money, and then you go on write.
Speaker 3: I mean, any anyone who's listening to when I say comedy,
Speaker 3: you should write it out immediately because sometimes then you
Speaker 3: get back to it and you're like, well, I don't
Speaker 3: know how to say this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well okay, that's.
Speaker 3: I'm also but that's the way I do it. And
Speaker 3: I'm wayless prolific as a stand up than you. So
Speaker 3: it's like, I don't know whatever way you're doing it.
Speaker 1: I just go on stage all the time, right, every
Speaker 1: single lot.
Speaker 3: I mean, I mean I don't much as you, but
Speaker 3: I go on a lot and I've only done you
Speaker 3: know too well. Part of it too is nobody's paid
Speaker 3: me to do it.
Speaker 1: But yeah, you're doing spots for fifteen minutes, you know,
Speaker 1: like you're doing small I'm doing hours every weekend. It's
Speaker 1: like it just it affords you more opportunity to fill
Speaker 1: up the space with something to play around. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: I I saw I was watching this on there's like
Speaker 1: this new documentary on Netflix about receivers, like football receivers.
Speaker 3: All that the beginning of the first one.
Speaker 1: It's good. I liked it a lot.
Speaker 3: You guys do a good job.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So it's Quarterbacks one too.
Speaker 1: I got to watch all of it because I'm just
Speaker 1: trying to get into football.
Speaker 3: That one's hilarious because it's just you love this one
Speaker 3: part of it, Nikki, because it's just Patrick Mahomes being
Speaker 3: miserable to be with his family. Like you could tell
Speaker 3: all he wants to do is play football. Like he's
Speaker 3: at like this fucking like you know, like Knoxbury Farm
Speaker 3: Halloween thing with his wife, and you just see like
Speaker 3: just the morose sorrow in his eye for having to
Speaker 3: like run with his kids around on this crow. Because
Speaker 3: all that guy wants to be doing is playing football
Speaker 3: and getting drawn. I mean, like every conversation that guy
Speaker 3: has is just like football, yeah, football, drinking.
Speaker 1: Well, he was opposite on the receivers one because the
Speaker 1: guy had a baby and now he plays better. I
Speaker 1: forgot his name, Debo, He's amazing. Yeah, But there was
Speaker 1: there's one guy I forget his name, Damn it, but
Speaker 1: he he plays for the Lions. He's a receiver. Maybe him, yeah,
Speaker 1: Saint Brown. He his dad was like mister Universe like
Speaker 1: two times in a row, and so he instilled in.
Speaker 1: He was like, you know, got him started early. Like
Speaker 1: there's footage of him as a young kid being like,
Speaker 1: we're gonna make it to the NFL, you know, like
Speaker 1: this was the goal. And but they continue to kind
Speaker 1: of like live like that. Like there was a din
Speaker 1: they went to a family dinner the night before a
Speaker 1: game and his dad was like, so, what are your
Speaker 1: goals for tomorrow?
Speaker 3: Sun?
Speaker 1: And he was like, well, to touchdowns. So he goes,
Speaker 1: that should be able to happen if the opportunity that's
Speaker 1: that's gonna be an easy goal. And I was like,
Speaker 1: that's very interesting to ask your goals for tomorrow, Like
Speaker 1: just ask someone of their goals for like the day.
Speaker 1: And I was like, I'm gonna do that, Like I'm
Speaker 1: gonna tomorrow, I'm gonna goal it out. So this morning
Speaker 1: I like wrote goals down because I don't like big
Speaker 1: picture goals, but like for the day, I mean, it's
Speaker 1: basically to do list. Have you heard of them? People
Speaker 1: do them all the time. I've never maybe have done them.
Speaker 2: Daily goals that will lead you to a larger goal ultimately, Yeah, yes,
Speaker 2: I do week.
Speaker 3: Every week, I have a list of Yeah, I try
Speaker 3: to do it, although but it doesn't like work. Now
Speaker 3: it gets crossed off that list like that, I do
Speaker 3: what I want to do still.
Speaker 2: And I wind up spending more time writing the list
Speaker 2: than doing the things on the list. Oh yeah, every
Speaker 2: day I'm like, I gotta do my to do list,
Speaker 2: and then I check that off my to do list.
Speaker 2: Just to write a to do list.
Speaker 1: Get through when you're truly paralyzed, like you know you
Speaker 1: need to do something and you were just like I can't,
Speaker 1: I don't want to. I just do you just not
Speaker 1: do it? Or like, how do you push past that?
Speaker 1: Because I don't think I have unless there's like a
Speaker 1: deadline and people are going to be severely disappointed in me.
Speaker 1: I will wheasel out of just about anything.
Speaker 2: Well, it depends what it is. But one method that
Speaker 2: psychologists say works is the five minute rule where you
Speaker 2: say I'll just work on this for five minutes and
Speaker 2: that's all, and then usually that tricks you into being like, oh,
Speaker 2: now that I've worked on it for five minutes. I
Speaker 2: can work on it for ten minutes, but usually for me,
Speaker 2: I work on for five minutes. And I say, like,
Speaker 2: I didn't it was useless. Yeah, even the five minutes
Speaker 2: I did was useless. And then I stopped.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I I've got some of my goals done today.
Speaker 1: And man, the best thing happened. I was supposed to
Speaker 1: do a podcast appearance at like four o'clock and it canceled,
Speaker 1: and that happens, But man, that was four pm. What
Speaker 1: kind of yeah new podcast and whatever country is?
Speaker 3: Yeah, fo Nikki shit tight.
Speaker 1: I I just am so excited that this hour opened
Speaker 1: up in my day. It's more room for my goals.
Speaker 2: Man, So what did you do? What did you fill
Speaker 2: it with?
Speaker 1: Well, I haven't I don't know yet. Well, the thing is,
Speaker 1: Chris was supposed to be out because I was gonna
Speaker 1: do the podcast from my kitchen because it's like a
Speaker 1: nice background. It kind of fits in with the rest
Speaker 1: of the aesthetic of their podcast. And I was like,
Speaker 1: Chris be out for four between four and five fifteen,
Speaker 1: And I got to be honest, I haven't told him
Speaker 1: it's canceled yet because I'm like, what am I gonna
Speaker 1: do with that? Like I can just do anything, and
Speaker 1: not that i'd need him, he would go anywhere anytime.
Speaker 1: But I am excited about this free space in my
Speaker 1: life that's opening up, even though the rest of my
Speaker 1: day is free. By the way, I'm not like there's
Speaker 1: nothing I have to do after this podcast, but now,
Speaker 1: like just that long thing, that block was kind of
Speaker 1: like hanging over me.
Speaker 3: And now, remember Nikki, when you like it was like
Speaker 3: there was like a pan on Chris's phone that you
Speaker 3: had and you like want and he didn't know that
Speaker 3: you had it. Yeah, you were like checking out where
Speaker 3: he went. But it was like every day it was
Speaker 3: Little Caesar's.
Speaker 1: Work and Little Caesar's and maybe home depot sometimes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because I it was just when Fine my friends was
Speaker 1: coming out and someone told me about it that we
Speaker 1: were all at this like long table at dinner after
Speaker 1: a show. Yeah, and I go, Chris, except what I
Speaker 1: just sent you and he just blindly is in conversation
Speaker 1: with someone just accepts it, and I'm like tracking him
Speaker 1: And then I like tracked him for so long and
Speaker 1: I would like plan being gross around when he was
Speaker 1: like gone. It was it was really worked out. But
Speaker 1: now we don't track each other anymore. I just feel
Speaker 1: like I know that he's just not into that, even
Speaker 1: though I do want to know all the time, Like
Speaker 1: how long I have even though I'm not doing anything bad.
Speaker 2: You have the pizza tracker now, and that's all you
Speaker 2: really need.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's he doesn't. Yeah, it's yeah, because the Little
Speaker 1: Caesars called back. I get it. I get it.
Speaker 2: Not even Dan, what was that?
Speaker 3: It was a little confused because because I'm such a fact,
Speaker 3: I'm like.
Speaker 2: The Pizza Hut. Pizza Hut does pizza trackers. I can
Speaker 2: see how that could be confusing.
Speaker 1: All Right, we're gonna go to break and we're gonna
Speaker 1: come back with more dancing Germaine, which he has a
Speaker 1: YouTube comedy special out that is so fucking funny. I
Speaker 1: did watch it, Dan, I watched like three fourths of it,
Speaker 1: which is like a lot for me. And I think
Speaker 1: I quick because I got distracted, not because I watched
Speaker 1: yours too.
Speaker 3: Your I was yeah. I mean, like I thought as
Speaker 3: far as special as it was like you and Dan,
Speaker 3: and I thought Collins was really good too, But that
Speaker 3: was it was.
Speaker 1: Man. Well, I am nominated for an Emmy. We'll talk
Speaker 1: about that when you get that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I forgot about that.
Speaker 1: When Dan stops talking. Okay, we're back. Thanks Dan. That
Speaker 1: was really nice of you to say that about my special.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I like your special lot too. It's called run, Fatty Run?
Speaker 1: Is that it?
Speaker 2: Where do you film this special?
Speaker 3: Brooklyn Comedy Club Old Man Hustle? But I think that
Speaker 3: they're closing down.
Speaker 1: I was confusing to sign it to the background. I
Speaker 1: was like, it's his special called old Man Hustle because
Speaker 1: it's like a prominent sign.
Speaker 3: That was so like, uh, you know, I went on
Speaker 3: Mayor and My Man. The first thing Mary goes was
Speaker 3: it like unfinished? I'm like, no, it wasn't unfinished.
Speaker 1: Alright, all right, active wherever you are?
Speaker 3: Dan?
Speaker 1: Moving around a lot?
Speaker 3: I know I move around a lot.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's your thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I move around. I'm saying, but fat.
Speaker 1: Where were you guys this weekend when the when the
Speaker 1: news dropped about Biden.
Speaker 3: I was on a lovely little excursion to City Island
Speaker 3: with my wife and cute.
Speaker 1: What's that? What does that?
Speaker 3: What do you?
Speaker 1: What's City Island?
Speaker 3: It's I guess it's off this It's it's in New York.
Speaker 3: It's like off the city. But it's like next time,
Speaker 3: in New York if you're looking for like a day
Speaker 3: trip in the summer, they have like all a little likes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and what do you do? What do you do
Speaker 1: when you walk on you just walk with the dog
Speaker 1: on the island.
Speaker 3: Well, we went to a dog park first, and we
Speaker 3: went to a park and we walked for that and
Speaker 3: then we you know.
Speaker 2: It's City Island different than Governor's Island or is it rebrand?
Speaker 3: I think is different because Governor's Island there's no cars
Speaker 3: on it.
Speaker 2: You have to take a ferry to get there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, drive City Island.
Speaker 1: When you're just hanging out with your wife all day,
Speaker 1: both of you like who's doing most of the talking?
Speaker 3: Like my wife?
Speaker 1: What really?
Speaker 3: I talk a lot, but like and everyone you had
Speaker 3: before this, I was the talker, but my wife talks
Speaker 3: way more than me.
Speaker 1: Okay, And are you listening? Do you like that?
Speaker 3: Not all the time? Yeah, but I like the you
Speaker 3: know what, I never have to fucking worry about. You know,
Speaker 3: this is what I love my wife is even if
Speaker 3: I get annoyed if she's like sometimes, you know, I
Speaker 3: have a relationship you need to break. Like I've never
Speaker 3: had to play the game when I've dated other girls
Speaker 3: of like, oh god, is she pissed? What did that mean?
Speaker 2: Why?
Speaker 3: Why? You know? My wife like all immediately one time
Speaker 3: I was like, are you annoyed? She was, yeah, you
Speaker 3: know what, I am a little fucking pissed.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, it's the best.
Speaker 3: You know exactly. And so I'd rather have that because yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm a little more passive aggressive, and my wife has
Speaker 3: to like figure me out.
Speaker 1: There's nothing worse than than someone who you know, isn't
Speaker 1: like mad about something, who won't admit it and is
Speaker 1: just like trying to is just being passive aggressive about it.
Speaker 1: It's like it's such a prison, and it is nice
Speaker 1: when someone is just so transparent and like can say
Speaker 1: it right away. Chris and I have like worked really
Speaker 1: hard to say immediately when something is like bothering us.
Speaker 1: We've gotten pretty good at it, like to the point
Speaker 1: that I think before I used to always worry is
Speaker 1: something I said, like if his mood would change a
Speaker 1: little bit, And now I'm like, he'll just I think
Speaker 1: I trust him just to tell me now. And so
Speaker 1: I don't like panic as much. But I don't know
Speaker 1: what he'd say for if i'd talk them he'd probably
Speaker 1: say that I talk way more than he does. But
Speaker 1: they're like, Brian, what about you? And Ali? Who's doing
Speaker 1: most of the talking?
Speaker 2: Definitely me? I mean I frequently will just be like
Speaker 2: pacing back and forth in the living room while she
Speaker 2: sits on the couch and listens to my like seminar
Speaker 2: and she called them seminars.
Speaker 1: Now will she be able to be on her phone
Speaker 1: during this? Like I want to know the vibe of like,
Speaker 1: I'm same with you, Dan, are you able to be
Speaker 1: on your phone like half listening? Like because my partner
Speaker 1: does not care if I'm like multitasking listening to him,
Speaker 1: and I'm so grateful for that.
Speaker 3: It just depends on the situation. Yea Friday night, I
Speaker 3: made us put our our phones down, I mean Saturday
Speaker 3: night because we watched a movie I love. And I
Speaker 3: was like, we have to put our phone?
Speaker 1: What movie?
Speaker 3: No Country for Old Man?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was like, this one is not a phone movie,
Speaker 3: you know. But for the most part, I'm five with it.
Speaker 1: I only know that movie from the Wikipedia. It is
Speaker 1: too scary for me to watch, so I've read the
Speaker 1: plot a lot in Wikipedia, and I don't it's not
Speaker 1: Wikipedia plots they need some help people get in there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, help out.
Speaker 1: They are really I think they're they're they're not. I
Speaker 1: can't follow it enough.
Speaker 2: And Wikipedia is really good for describing historical events, which
Speaker 2: is similar to a plot. Is wick Wikipedia is good
Speaker 2: that it's not good at regular plots. And it's also,
Speaker 2: by the way, awful. If anyone looks up Wikipedia for
Speaker 2: medical advice or to explain a disease, it's that might
Speaker 2: be the worst place to I'd rather you go to
Speaker 2: Cura whatever, however, you say that, Oh yeah, then go
Speaker 2: to Wikipedia.
Speaker 1: Cora where every answer is an ad Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: That makes no sense, no sense, you know on Cura
Speaker 2: where you you google a question and there.
Speaker 1: You can't even get right sticky okay, So yeah you okay,
Speaker 1: So you ask.
Speaker 2: And then you go down and then there's more questions
Speaker 2: that you're like, I'm interested in these questions, and then
Speaker 2: you click on the questions like answer, and then you
Speaker 2: click on the question and it goes. You need to
Speaker 2: sign up if you want to read the answer to
Speaker 2: these questions.
Speaker 1: It'll be a question and then there will be no answer.
Speaker 1: There'll be more questions with commentary but no answer. I'm like,
Speaker 1: just the point of this website is to have a
Speaker 1: question and then like crowdsource answers, it's a mess.
Speaker 2: Ready are you?
Speaker 1: What about you? Is Ali allowed to be on her
Speaker 1: phone when you're I have it.
Speaker 2: I have been annoyed by her going on her phone
Speaker 2: during a conversation before and pointed it out, and then
Speaker 2: she generally, I mean it just it just depends on
Speaker 2: the situation. Like sometimes I'll just like come in guns
Speaker 2: blazing while she's like working, and I'll be like and
Speaker 2: then they said this, and she's like, I don't even
Speaker 2: know what you're talking about. I'm trying to write a
Speaker 2: work email. And now those instances, I can see how
Speaker 2: I'm wrong. But then sometimes we're like just like went
Speaker 2: to dinner and we're having like a conversation and she
Speaker 2: doesn't go on her phone, but she she'll get she'll
Speaker 2: be interested in something else and then point it out.
Speaker 2: Like I'll be like talking to her about like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm having this problem with I can't get an appointment
Speaker 2: with the doctor, and she'll go a full moon and
Speaker 2: I'll be like I'm talking to you about the doctor
Speaker 2: and she's like, oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, and they'll
Speaker 2: be like yeah, and then the doctor goes like that
Speaker 2: and and then she's like, oh my god, a bug,
Speaker 2: And I'm like, Ali, can we just can you respond
Speaker 2: to what I'm saying? So sometimes that happens.
Speaker 1: I feel really bad for people who have no one
Speaker 1: but their partner to talk to you, because a partner
Speaker 1: can't handle all of that. And I know both of
Speaker 1: you are pretty good about having friendships, yes, but there
Speaker 1: are some dudes out there and women with no one
Speaker 1: but their partner to bitch about their life too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, got it.
Speaker 3: You gotta try, like you gotta like you know, one
Speaker 3: of the things that I've been doing this is so sad, Nikki,
Speaker 3: But like, Okay, next time I see you, Nikki, and like,
Speaker 3: if we go to coffee or dinner right and just
Speaker 3: hang out, yeah, I will. Then I have a twenty
Speaker 3: twenty four list, I will write that hangout down just
Speaker 3: prove that I have some social life. Yeah, okay, I
Speaker 3: did a family reading this because I have like the
Speaker 3: things that I need to do for the year. But
Speaker 3: then I'll be like, okay, but I also did this
Speaker 3: socially to know that I hung out and I'm not.
Speaker 1: Just was this always a thing for you that you
Speaker 1: were tracking your social hangouts.
Speaker 3: Last company. I'm very I'm OCD, and it's like the
Speaker 3: one thing about my OCD is that I make I
Speaker 3: make lists a lot. I used to get like, this
Speaker 3: is the stupid, Like when I was like smoking shitloads
Speaker 3: of weed during COVID, I would be like, Oh, I'm
Speaker 3: gonna write down all the movies I've ever seen, like
Speaker 3: high as fun, just writing down every movie I could
Speaker 3: think of that I saw. And I'm like, who is
Speaker 3: this for? What?
Speaker 1: Yeah, list feel good to make for some reason. They're satisfying,
Speaker 1: but I'm wondering about this, like tracking your hangouts. So
Speaker 1: this was something that you were like, I'm having a
Speaker 1: deficit in my life of like social hangs because do
Speaker 1: not live by people that you.
Speaker 3: I think that it's very it's very simple, it's very easy,
Speaker 3: and this is for all of us. And Brian, I
Speaker 3: don't know how much stand up you're doing right now,
Speaker 3: but like if when you're doing a lot of stand
Speaker 3: up and you your whole fucking thing is to be
Speaker 3: around people every night when you have a night off,
Speaker 3: your thing is thank god, I can just be home
Speaker 3: with my wife. So I try to, and I still
Speaker 3: usually when I don't have shows. I don't want to
Speaker 3: go out, but like, you know, it's like, all right,
Speaker 3: tomorrow night, I'm gonna try to, you know, get dinner
Speaker 3: with fucking Di Stefano before my show. You know. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I try to do stuff like that, but like, yeah,
Speaker 3: it's it's tough, man, because I'm an isolator. You know,
Speaker 3: I'm very I'm like a I'm like a introvert in
Speaker 3: extrovert clothing, you know.
Speaker 1: So yeah, but you know that it makes you feel
Speaker 1: better when you hang out with people, So you're forcing
Speaker 1: yourself to do it, and you got to make your
Speaker 1: little list.
Speaker 3: You gotta picture it's the right person. Sometimes they'll hang
Speaker 3: out with a friend and I'm like, oh, I think I.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it just likes when you fall into a habit
Speaker 1: of like, oh, I just like to hang out with
Speaker 1: my dog and Chris and that's all I want to
Speaker 1: do is just watch TV on the couch and not
Speaker 1: do anything. Like last night, Chris went to a concert
Speaker 1: mates of State, and I was gonna go, but I'd
Speaker 1: just gotten back in town and I'm like, I think
Speaker 1: I just want to stay in And then the whole
Speaker 1: time I'm home, I'm just like regretting that I didn't
Speaker 1: go out and support live music, and that I was then,
Speaker 1: you know, I didn't really get anything.
Speaker 3: Done more besides Taylor Swift though, Like, do you want
Speaker 3: to go to like, yeah, fucking Terminal five and wait
Speaker 3: till band you way, No, I.
Speaker 1: Want to go late and just see a couple songs
Speaker 1: and just get a sense of the performance and maybe
Speaker 1: learn something about what I should do on stage or
Speaker 1: how I should be with my fans, Like try to
Speaker 1: glean something from the performance aspect of it, especially since
Speaker 1: I'm trying to do music.
Speaker 3: Huh, so you do that? Who are the musicians that
Speaker 3: you're like, Oh, okay, I can.
Speaker 1: I mean Taylor Swift's the one that obviously I've seen
Speaker 1: sixty hours of in the last fifteen months, so it's
Speaker 1: like I've studied her more than anyone. It's probably rubbing
Speaker 1: off on me, I hope a little bit. But I
Speaker 1: think you can learn something from anyone. Like even my dad.
Speaker 1: I go see him every Wednesday night at the Pasta
Speaker 1: House in Saint Louis on Woodlawn Road in kirkwad. Yeah,
Speaker 1: my dad plays. He does like every Wednesday, plays in
Speaker 1: this like kind of atrium place and then a lot
Speaker 1: of times my mom and me and Chris and his
Speaker 1: family and maybe my mom's two friends are the only audience.
Speaker 1: But we just watched my dad play for like five people,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, this is all and we can talk
Speaker 1: during it because we don't respect him, you know, and
Speaker 1: and his art, so we just like talk and my
Speaker 1: dad plays over it. But my dad gets also also play,
Speaker 1: and we have moments and we clap after every song.
Speaker 1: So it's like it's so fun. But I learned stuff
Speaker 1: from him too, of just.
Speaker 2: Yeah, wholesome, cherished.
Speaker 1: It's my favorite thing. I almost don't even say on
Speaker 1: the podcast because I don't want too many people going
Speaker 1: to it and I don't want it to turn into
Speaker 1: something where I have to like be something I'm not
Speaker 1: because I just want to go and like eat salad
Speaker 1: and uh fried portobellos and just listen to my dad.
Speaker 1: But it's so wholesome, it's like it will be the thing.
Speaker 1: Chris and I had a moment where like this, these
Speaker 1: are the nights because our families are all there, The
Speaker 1: kids are there, like all our nieces and nephews are
Speaker 1: all playing and running around, and we're like, these are
Speaker 1: the nights. We'll think back on and be like, man,
Speaker 1: we really had it all, like it's it's weird to
Speaker 1: be like living in that and yeah it's my favorite thing.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I want to go see more. I want
Speaker 1: to you know what, I want to watch more stand up.
Speaker 1: That's why I put That's why I watched your special, Dan.
Speaker 1: I was like looking for people who I admire and
Speaker 1: who are such great writers to like inspire me, and
Speaker 1: so I'm trying to watch more stand up. I was
Speaker 1: with a Spade this weekend at the Venetian, which was
Speaker 1: he was so fucking funny I can't even believe it.
Speaker 1: And it by the end of the week I was mind. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I open the show because I don't want to
Speaker 1: follow that and I just want to enjoy his set
Speaker 1: without thinking about mine. So it's just perfect. I bring
Speaker 1: him up and then I just sit back and laugh.
Speaker 1: But man, it it does rub off on me. Like
Speaker 1: I am kind of a sponge when it comes to
Speaker 1: things I admire, and I start kind of I don't
Speaker 1: steal their I don't plan on doing it, but it
Speaker 1: like I start kind of talking a little Spade like
Speaker 1: and like kind of make it like it happens. Actually,
Speaker 1: if I surround my if have to saturate myself in it.
Speaker 1: So I've been trying to watch more stand up and
Speaker 1: I want to go see more stand up and force myself.
Speaker 1: But I'm not going to. But I see more stand up,
Speaker 1: I might watch it at home, a clip here and there,
Speaker 1: I give specials like six minutes, and then I ditch out.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I.
Speaker 3: Think that's fine though. I mean, I Spade, because Spade
Speaker 3: and you are so different, are different enough that like
Speaker 3: whatever whatever you take from him, yes, it would be
Speaker 3: enough of a spin. Like I get nerves, Like if
Speaker 3: I watch if I spent all day only watching like
Speaker 3: Kyle Kanane and Mike Lawrence, yeah, I would be nervous
Speaker 3: close to what you do. It was too close, I
Speaker 3: would probably or patent or something like that. Pat and
Speaker 3: I are a lot different. But like if I'm watching,
Speaker 3: like that's why I like love watching people like Earthquake.
Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Because you will pick up something.
Speaker 2: Well, no, Earthquake actually stole Mysen, so I'm pretty pissed
Speaker 2: about that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I remember that you were you were first Earth.
Speaker 1: Well do you guys feel like I'm guessing everyone feels
Speaker 1: this way. You gotta steal essences and and and not
Speaker 1: intentionally by the way, but like, I was watching Chad Daniels'
Speaker 1: special last night, which is really funny. It's on Netflix.
Speaker 1: Forget the name of it, but I think it's his
Speaker 1: first Netflix special. So fun est, empty Nest. Thank you,
Speaker 1: Chad Daniels. Check that out.
Speaker 3: Check that guy.
Speaker 1: He is such a great guy. And also I was
Speaker 1: telling Chris he's like the comedian that ever he's a
Speaker 1: comedians comedian like comedians know. He's like one of the best,
Speaker 1: certainly out of the Midwest, and like has stayed in
Speaker 1: the Midwest on purpose. And but anyway, he's so funny.
Speaker 1: And I was watching his thing and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I remember a time where every comedian
Speaker 1: that I knew was trying to sound like Chad Daniels,
Speaker 1: and even me probably.
Speaker 3: Midwest you guys, Like there was like there's a he
Speaker 3: maybe I guess Shane is probably the most influential now
Speaker 3: because everyone's doing the same.
Speaker 1: Thing with Oh my god, they're all doing the classmen
Speaker 1: in the hands. You're right, oh yeah, yes.
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh man even noticed that.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, they do it. People do it a lot.
Speaker 3: But like, but Chad Daniels has inspired there's a Midwest
Speaker 3: great comedy writer, and I would like put that, put
Speaker 3: you in there. I would put like Greg Warren in there.
Speaker 3: I would put Tommy Johnigan in there. But it's a
Speaker 3: very like, hey, let's I'm comfortable on stage, but let's
Speaker 3: lean with fucking good let's lead with good jokes first, Yeah,
Speaker 3: and make this ship layered. And I feel like, yeah,
Speaker 3: he's he's he's like there's that's like the Midwest and
Speaker 3: and ideally Midwest. My favorite audience is too because there's
Speaker 3: nothing to fucking do there, so you have to see
Speaker 3: Sam comedy.
Speaker 1: Oh that's a good point. Yeah, I've never even thought
Speaker 1: about it that way. But yeah, I was talking to
Speaker 1: someone about the Kansas City comedy scene, this Mike bryden
Speaker 1: Stein right.
Speaker 3: Out, Yeah, yeah, Mike.
Speaker 1: Why am I saying his name weirdly? I don't. I
Speaker 1: didn't have much confidence in that, but I love Mike,
Speaker 1: and he was he's writing a book about the Kansas
Speaker 1: City comedy scene, and he's like, this is the craziest
Speaker 1: club I've ever heard about in all of my like
Speaker 1: research of comedy. The Stanford and Sons, which is the
Speaker 1: club I started at run by Craig Glazer. It's legendary
Speaker 1: and it was. It made me feel pretty good. He's like,
Speaker 1: you started in the most insane time with the most
Speaker 1: insane club owners in the most toxic environment, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I really did. I didn't realize it wasn't like that everywhere.
Speaker 3: When I did that Sanfordson weekend. If you guys don't know,
Speaker 3: Sanford Soon was run by two brothers, one a heroin addict,
Speaker 3: one a cokehead, and the coke head picked me up,
Speaker 3: dropped an N bomb of meeting immediately, I said the.
Speaker 1: Same thing on this Oh that was my first time
Speaker 1: ever hearing the N word in that from a white person. Like, honestly,
Speaker 1: I've never like where I was like, oh, you think
Speaker 1: this is okay to say? And I remember I felt
Speaker 1: horrible because I didn't say, like, hey, don't say that.
Speaker 1: But I was like twenty four and just eager for
Speaker 1: the gig. But I remember that was Craig Lazer was
Speaker 1: the first one to Yeah.
Speaker 3: The ghost of Martin Luther King could come down to
Speaker 3: that guy and bag so you need to look still
Speaker 3: say the N word. I remember his whole thing. He's
Speaker 3: like his ration for me. He's like I'm allowed to
Speaker 3: say that. I'm allowed to say the N word, man,
Speaker 3: because I'm dating this black stripper.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: He was always dating a black stripper. Yeah yeah, and
Speaker 1: would drive you around his little car. Loved spending time
Speaker 1: with comedians. You had to put in so much time
Speaker 1: with him.
Speaker 2: And then as the club named after the show, yeah,
Speaker 2: I think, which is like a black show.
Speaker 1: But but it was a play on the show because
Speaker 1: his dad's name was stan Stanford and so is it's
Speaker 1: not Stanford and says it's Stanford and Sons.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: If you if you ever want to see a social
Speaker 3: media reaction of someone in comedy dying and no one
Speaker 3: giving his shit, oh it was that that guy died
Speaker 3: and it was like just a roast of him for
Speaker 3: like eight straight on Twitter.
Speaker 1: Yeah I don't too.
Speaker 3: He owes me Twitter fifty bucks.
Speaker 1: So yeah, he owed a lot of people money. He
Speaker 1: was really nice to me and like when I was
Speaker 1: in the Kansas City scene, he took me out and
Speaker 1: got me on radio for the first time and got
Speaker 1: me all you know these spots. Never paid me for
Speaker 1: anything that I did, but you know, and build me
Speaker 1: as He would like put up posters to promote weekends
Speaker 1: I was MCing as like I'm the next Ellen Degenerous,
Speaker 1: which is so misleading, except that I will come out
Speaker 1: as gay someday.
Speaker 3: But yeah, nothing about thing.
Speaker 1: About us exceptly a blonde hair and we're white. Yeah
Speaker 1: it was and so but yeah, he helped me out
Speaker 1: a lot, but he was not a But get this,
Speaker 1: so he forever was talking about selling a script. You
Speaker 1: probably heard about it when you were there, right, Like,
Speaker 1: he wrote a book called The King of Sting about
Speaker 1: his coming up as a He would like propose as
Speaker 1: a cop doing stings and then rob people is essentially
Speaker 1: what he would do for years and years in his twenties.
Speaker 1: And he wrote a whole book about it. And then
Speaker 1: he sold the script and Clint Eastwood was gonna make it,
Speaker 1: and it was always this like Brad Pitt's attached and
Speaker 1: we went and it was always falling through, and it
Speaker 1: was kind of like, what is this? Even this was
Speaker 1: before we could really have proof of anything happening. But
Speaker 1: he dies and then like two months later, the script
Speaker 1: is optioned and it is being made, and it's made
Speaker 1: by someone who's really I forget who's making it, but
Speaker 1: someone who's done some shit. It's gonna be like a
Speaker 1: real movie that this guy his whole life lied about
Speaker 1: almost like lied and just like tried to get it
Speaker 1: made so much he wrote it actually, and apparently the
Speaker 1: script kind of because I go, I said to Mike,
Speaker 1: I go, are they gonna say this is a real story?
Speaker 1: Because people were kind of calling the book bullshit, and
Speaker 1: it's just kind of gonna be presented as like it's
Speaker 1: gonna start out with Craig Glazer on the radio saying
Speaker 1: like it's a true story and people being like yeah, right,
Speaker 1: and he's like it all happened, and so it's gonna
Speaker 1: and the title card is like this, this is a
Speaker 1: true story, probably like it's but he's getting it made.
Speaker 3: Wow. I had a friend of mine who's dead now,
Speaker 3: but he was. He would he was a Heroin addict
Speaker 3: and he would go into Camden and like shake heroin
Speaker 3: deal He would steal his brother's cop car, be his
Speaker 3: brother's a and he would shake down god heroin dealers
Speaker 3: to get heroin.
Speaker 1: Which is did he die of heroin?
Speaker 3: You know, I mean he's a pretty badass dude, but
Speaker 3: still I'm like, somebody's gonna kill you, dude.
Speaker 1: Did he die of Heroin?
Speaker 3: No? He he had real problems at the end of
Speaker 3: his life, but he had he had a leukemia at
Speaker 3: the end.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you really saw that going a different way.
Speaker 2: Yes, So he wrote this book King of.
Speaker 1: Yes, he wrote the Craig Lazer.
Speaker 2: Okay, Craig Lazer, King of Sting and now he died
Speaker 2: and then someone else the book is really good.
Speaker 1: Like he gave it to me and I was like, God,
Speaker 1: I have to read this fucking thing before I go back. Wow.
Speaker 1: And it is an actually compelling book. And I do
Speaker 1: believe it's a true story because I don't think he's
Speaker 1: this good at lying and being creative to come up
Speaker 1: with this this tale, because he wasn't like a creative force.
Speaker 1: He was just kind of like a marketing man machine.
Speaker 2: And I mean it's a good idea for a movie.
Speaker 3: Yeah, when you meet him and he's like, I pretended
Speaker 3: to be a cop to get money.
Speaker 1: You like, yeah, it checks out, totally does. But I mean,
Speaker 1: Heroin's interesting because I don't I think I would probably
Speaker 1: do anything to get Heroin too. If I tried it.
Speaker 1: I'm almost you know what I mean, Like you see
Speaker 1: people pass it on the sidewalk and you're like, how
Speaker 1: could they do that, and you're like, because that's how
Speaker 1: good that thing is, That's how good that thing feels.
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, apparently, I mean, I mean I did you know,
Speaker 3: like last year when I was like relapsing after my
Speaker 3: mom died, I did oxy and it was the first
Speaker 3: I've done oxy a couple of times.
Speaker 1: What do you mean by doing oxy? Just taking the
Speaker 1: pills or.
Speaker 3: In a couple of pills. But because as somebody I
Speaker 3: guess had died of cancer, some left and it was
Speaker 3: a comic you gave me. But I was like I
Speaker 3: had it and I'm watching Deadwood and I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 3: I'm fine with this being the rest of my life. Wow,
Speaker 3: like just sitting here and like enjoying this feeling no ambition.
Speaker 3: It's but with no ambition, no ambition, you're just you're
Speaker 3: just fine. The drugs that people are doing now, like
Speaker 3: when I was came back from rehab in December, the
Speaker 3: stuff that the kids are on now, it's all like
Speaker 3: end of life fetanyl shit, Like it's all the stuff
Speaker 3: like people who have cancer who have like two days
Speaker 3: left to live are using like and uh, and we
Speaker 3: can't hang like like nobody like if you tell those
Speaker 3: kids like, oh, you do heroin. They're like you pussy wow.
Speaker 1: You know, It's like, yeah, I was really surprised to
Speaker 1: see so many, or at least maybe one or two
Speaker 1: to intervention episodes where the person was doing fentanyl And
Speaker 1: I'm like, wait, I thought ventanyl was the thing you
Speaker 1: accidentally do and then you die off. Like I didn't
Speaker 1: know you could actually do it and figure out a
Speaker 1: way to do it and keep living.
Speaker 3: But we're doing it now. I mean, it's a hundred
Speaker 3: times more powerful than heroin, So it's what the fuck?
Speaker 1: Man? Ugh, life is so hard. I will say though
Speaker 1: that I like, I love smoking weed, like it just
Speaker 1: like when I'm going through when I'm feeling anxious and
Speaker 1: there's really nothing that can maybe stop. I can almost
Speaker 1: relate to someone who like risks it all, like I
Speaker 1: will risk not at all, but I will risk showing
Speaker 1: up for something my best self, or I will risk
Speaker 1: having a sore throat because I just want the relief
Speaker 1: that I feel as soon as I get it right,
Speaker 1: and then it eventually feels not good. And I'm kind
Speaker 1: of trying to like figure out what that relief is
Speaker 1: and I think I have it totally perfectly, Like I
Speaker 1: think I can describe it for people now like of
Speaker 1: what I feel, and it is the exact feeling I
Speaker 1: felt when I heard Joe Biden dropped out. I was relieved.
Speaker 1: I was a little bit like everything's fine, and like
Speaker 1: also excited, and then within five minutes I was worried again.
Speaker 1: And there's a whole new batch of anxieties to consider,
Speaker 1: and that I think is weed. Like I really because
Speaker 1: I felt like, oh my god, everything's gonna be okay.
Speaker 1: This is like a really good sign. And then instantly
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, there's just now just opened another
Speaker 1: door of anxieties that I that I wasn't even worried
Speaker 1: about before, and now I don't. I don't have anywhere
Speaker 1: to turn to. I guess I'll masturbate. Will that help it?
Speaker 3: I'm jealous that you're still able to masturbate, But I
Speaker 3: feel like if anyone asks you, like, oh it's bad
Speaker 3: to do, we just be like, look, Mike Tyson has
Speaker 3: done every drug in the world, and the one he's
Speaker 3: good on is WI.
Speaker 1: That's really interesting. Is that true?
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, he was like he was fucking I
Speaker 3: don't know if he's done everybody.
Speaker 1: He was a crack nobody. Is he good on it though?
Speaker 3: Like, or is he just he's not killing everybody? You know,
Speaker 3: Like he's not beating everyone. That's because I knew somebody's
Speaker 3: I know, somebody's really close to Tyson. I was like,
Speaker 3: and he's like sober. I'm like, and he's like his guru,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, but isn't that not sober? He goes, hey, man,
Speaker 3: he's not trying to kill everybody.
Speaker 1: Oh good point, I mean, the lesser of some evils.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back after this to talk about what
Speaker 1: you're puffing on there, Dan. Damn well, I see you're vaping.
Speaker 1: What does that give you when you've like I don't understand.
Speaker 1: I definitely smoke cigarettes before. But do you get a
Speaker 1: relief from isn't just nicotine when you inhale it. It's
Speaker 1: relieving an anxiety of wanting nicotine that you created.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yeah, you got it.
Speaker 1: But that feels good because you're like, you give yourself
Speaker 1: anxiety that you then get to soothe, and then you
Speaker 1: get off on the soothing feeling.
Speaker 2: So I get that nicotine also rides you with some
Speaker 2: positive like it gives you, it energizes you. It.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think they've said nicotine's good for you.
Speaker 2: Kind of it's not good for you at all at all,
Speaker 2: but it does. Like when people first start smoking cigarettes,
Speaker 2: there's a reason why they get addicted to it. It's
Speaker 2: because it does actually provide you with some benefits, some
Speaker 2: clarity of mind. It's it's sort of like caffeine in
Speaker 2: a way, at least from what the what I've read.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I understand like creating a problem so that
Speaker 1: you feel the relief when it goes away. I think
Speaker 1: that's honestly, what stand up is is like or working,
Speaker 1: like saying yes to a gig, and then I'm like,
Speaker 1: I all I know is that I'm going to feel
Speaker 1: so good when this is over. Like so so I
Speaker 1: was so accomplished, and so I think it's kind of
Speaker 1: the same thing. Maybe I should start vaping. When did
Speaker 1: you start vaping?
Speaker 3: Dan? When I was on Michelle Show? Did I started
Speaker 3: doing Joel? So it was twenty eighteen and I was
Speaker 3: on and off cigarettes. I was off cigarettes for about
Speaker 3: since not safe, so not safe through Superior Donuts and
Speaker 3: then Michelle Show has started vaping again, and.
Speaker 1: Then was it just because other people were vaping? It
Speaker 1: was kind of like that was something you could do
Speaker 1: in the office. What what what made you do it?
Speaker 3: I just was very stressed. It was a position that
Speaker 3: I was. It was like a senior writer position. So
Speaker 3: I was stressed, and I was like, I don't want
Speaker 3: to go back to cigarettes, right, lesser of I don't
Speaker 3: want to get drunk, so let's do let's do this.
Speaker 3: But I also got like by the end of my
Speaker 3: time there too, I was like, then I started doing
Speaker 3: xanax too, So I was like, I just have like
Speaker 3: a very addictive fucking personality.
Speaker 1: Yeah, as do I do? You do you find that
Speaker 1: jerking off is part of that addiction? Like it didn't get.
Speaker 3: Care or I'm on so many inidepressants.
Speaker 1: I mean, oh yeah.
Speaker 3: Often like a week I think, whoa, yeah, Like it's
Speaker 3: been a while and you knew me in my single
Speaker 3: days where I was like always going on dates and
Speaker 3: trying to like oh yeah, and now it's like now
Speaker 3: that guy I don't even know who that fucking guy is,
Speaker 3: you know, because he's a long gone because uh yeah, no,
Speaker 3: I I am not. Like, Plus my wife is kind
Speaker 3: of like recovering right now, so it's like I don't know.
Speaker 3: I just I don't have like really the you know,
Speaker 3: greatly urge to jerk it right now?
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I get that, But I think that's that
Speaker 1: can be something that I rely on sometimes in a
Speaker 1: similar way of like to.
Speaker 3: Distract myself once every couple of days.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, I think it's fine. I think it's the
Speaker 1: times when I've read about when people are like hurting
Speaker 1: themselves because they're doing it so much, and there's like
Speaker 1: skin is raw, Yes, that's probably yeah, and that get Yeah.
Speaker 3: There's guys who I mean, there are guys who you
Speaker 3: know can't leave their house because they're jerking off.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I don't. I mean watching porn. It's like
Speaker 1: it's built to suck you in like a casino like it.
Speaker 1: I don't even I can't believe pop. A lot of
Speaker 1: people are operating in these porn worlds and I am too,
Speaker 1: and I have no one to talk about like the
Speaker 1: things I see and what they're said to me and
Speaker 1: these ads and like how it's like it's just so
Speaker 1: fucked up. It's such a weird world that no one
Speaker 1: talks about.
Speaker 2: Huh.
Speaker 3: The reason it will get last because everyone's doing it.
Speaker 3: They just don't want to say it, you know, they
Speaker 3: don't want yeah, porn, like.
Speaker 1: The titles of them and what's happening. It's just it
Speaker 1: feels so specific, but it's like it's such a universal
Speaker 1: experience that we're all like kind of just only experiencing
Speaker 1: on our own. And that's why I'm always confused when
Speaker 1: they're like, are you tired of jerking off alone? And
Speaker 1: it's like, no, I'm not. This is the only way
Speaker 1: this could ever Who would ever want to jerk off
Speaker 1: with someone? I don't feel that way where I'm like,
Speaker 1: I never am like this. I wish someone would do
Speaker 1: this with me. It's like I'm glad to be doing
Speaker 1: it on my own. I don't understand that angle. And
Speaker 1: I also don't understand the angle of like you can
Speaker 1: come in thirty seconds, Like I'm like, do people have
Speaker 1: places to be?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: I want it to take longer Like that, these marketing
Speaker 1: angles for porn ads do not resonate with me at all.
Speaker 3: It's always like the inside of a penis or a
Speaker 3: vagina too. Every time you like turn it on, it's
Speaker 3: like it's like, help your penis grow, and then they'll.
Speaker 2: Wah, yeah, they give you a cross section of a
Speaker 2: section yes.
Speaker 3: And you're like, oh my god, I don't need a
Speaker 3: fucking lesson, dude. I'm just trying to, you know, jerk off.
Speaker 3: These two chicks in a hot top. Come on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's that sounds nice.
Speaker 2: There's this thing on This is not porn related ad related.
Speaker 3: I don't have like a bunch of weirdo like porn cues.
Speaker 3: I'm very basic.
Speaker 1: Good for you. I don't relate what we're gonna say.
Speaker 2: There's a thing on Instagram where I'm getting these ads
Speaker 2: for it's a crazy trend getting ads for a phone
Speaker 2: game where it's like zombies are attacking you and you're
Speaker 2: shooting the zombies and then like they keep coming and
Speaker 2: coming and coming, and you're shooting the zombies and then
Speaker 2: you click on the game because it looks like a
Speaker 2: really good game. Yeah, you click on the game, and
Speaker 2: then you go to it and all the reviews are like, not,
Speaker 2: this is not the actual game the advertising, right, so
Speaker 2: we've all this is this is like talking about like
Speaker 2: things people do that like you don't have to really
Speaker 2: talk about. But it's like you go to the app
Speaker 2: store and you're like, I'd play that game, and then
Speaker 2: all the reviews are like it's just a pay for
Speaker 2: play type of game where you're building like a a
Speaker 2: city and you have to defend your city and it's
Speaker 2: and and then that became so prevalent people clicking on
Speaker 2: that ad and realizing that it's not the game that
Speaker 2: they started coming up with new ads that are like,
Speaker 2: are did you see that ad where you have the
Speaker 2: zombie game? Well, guess what, we actually built the game.
Speaker 1: Oh so that's preying on people that have already been
Speaker 1: duped by this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but then you click on that ad and it's
Speaker 2: also not the game. It's also just a pay to
Speaker 2: play city builder game. Like, what the fuck is going
Speaker 2: on here? And now they even have influencers who will
Speaker 2: pop up up in the ad and go like, listen,
Speaker 2: I saw all those ads where there was that zombie game,
Speaker 2: and I really wanted to play it, and now I
Speaker 2: found it. If you see a game and you start
Speaker 2: playing it and it's not what they advertise in the
Speaker 2: first five seconds, stop playing it, and then you click
Speaker 2: on that game also not the game. So I don't
Speaker 2: understand what's going on if it's just the controversy how.
Speaker 1: They're making money because you're not paying money yet to
Speaker 1: even see that it's not the.
Speaker 2: Game, right, because there's still a bunch of dumb assess
Speaker 2: who want to play the pay to play city Builder
Speaker 2: game for some reason, which is so stupid whoever is
Speaker 2: making these games, I just make the Zombie game. The
Speaker 2: Zombie game is good. It will be like New Angry Birds.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I don't understand what's going on, like why everyone wants
Speaker 2: the Zombie game and they just refuse to make.
Speaker 1: It because there's a world of selling stuff around the
Speaker 1: fact that the game is not being made. So I
Speaker 1: think it's it's better that they don't make it.
Speaker 2: It's wild. I mean the way they keep then they
Speaker 2: keep making new ads every day where it's a different round.
Speaker 2: It's like it's like they're basically building the game in ads,
Speaker 2: because it's like now there's a new version of the
Speaker 2: Zombie game. And then multiple different companies have made multiple
Speaker 2: different versions of the Zombie game as advertisements, and you
Speaker 2: click on it and it's not the fucking came you play.
Speaker 1: Are you how much time are you playing games on
Speaker 1: your phone? Because I'd see guys on planes and guys
Speaker 1: be playing lots of games on phones and they look
Speaker 1: fun and they're I'm like, wow, the graphics on that
Speaker 1: are incredible. Should I be doing this? Are there ones
Speaker 1: that are really fun?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: No, I play zero games on my phone because every
Speaker 2: game on your phone nowadays is pay to play, So
Speaker 2: basically you start playing it, it's kind of fun, and
Speaker 2: then it's like, well, if you want to get a
Speaker 2: bunch of corn, you're gonna have to pay three ninety nine.
Speaker 2: And by the way, if you don't pay three ninety
Speaker 2: nine for the corn, a bunch of people who've paid
Speaker 2: fifty dollars are gonna kill you.
Speaker 1: Right, Okay, I like playing games. I like I'm now
Speaker 1: I'm doing the mini Crossword for New York Times. Well,
Speaker 1: I like that because you can compete with people. Do
Speaker 1: you know New York Times games?
Speaker 2: Second?
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a leader board only on the mini crossword
Speaker 1: where you can do it. Does your time do you? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Well, you know during f Boy Island, we were really
Speaker 2: deep into the crossword you oh my god.
Speaker 1: Yeah. We were trying to beat each other on Mondays
Speaker 1: Tuesdays and sometimes I.
Speaker 2: Have to say it was it was pretty evenly matched,
Speaker 2: It really was.
Speaker 1: That was a good time.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Final thought, Dan, what are you doing on your phone
Speaker 1: most of the time? Like, what are you just doom?
Speaker 1: Scrolling Reddit, Instagram, Yeah, killing me? What are you looking
Speaker 1: at on Instagram? Just as person's post and then you
Speaker 1: read the comments and then like what are you doing
Speaker 1: on there?
Speaker 3: A lot of dog stuff, A lot of dog stuff.
Speaker 3: I mean, like, I'm not going to pretend that my
Speaker 3: Instagram Discovery doesn't have a few influencers, butts it definitely does.
Speaker 3: There's some wrestling stuff, asserted politics stuff from both sides.
Speaker 3: Somehow they both end up on me.
Speaker 1: It's fair weird balanced, but it's like the way it
Speaker 1: should be. Like that's weird.
Speaker 2: I like this new trend that Instagram was saying they're
Speaker 2: not going to put any politics, They're not going to
Speaker 2: promote any political things anymore, and then they kind of
Speaker 2: stopped doing that. But no, like if you I made
Speaker 2: like a cartoon that was making fun of Congress and
Speaker 2: like it. It was like suppressed because it was when
Speaker 2: they were when they were doing this this new thing
Speaker 2: where they're not they're not allowing political content to be
Speaker 2: distributed amongst the algorithm, which I think is a good idea.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, I think so too. I recently took the
Speaker 1: no more suggested posts for thirty days. It doesn't even
Speaker 1: let you do it permanently. It lets you take a
Speaker 1: month off from them giving you other ship. And I
Speaker 1: think I'm reaching the end of the month. But it
Speaker 1: was a good month off of just only seeing what
Speaker 1: I need, what like, what I.
Speaker 2: Who I friends like the designed to be there's there's
Speaker 2: too many you follow too many people.
Speaker 1: I got a package in the meal from j LO
Speaker 1: the other day, WHOA Okay, I like had a bunch
Speaker 1: of like actually killing you. I got a bunch of
Speaker 1: I had a bunch of packages that were like kind
Speaker 1: of stef and I was like, I don't it stresses
Speaker 1: me out? And how to get package? It used to
Speaker 1: be so much fun, but now it's like I have
Speaker 1: to post about this person and I have to start
Speaker 1: using these products so I can talk about them, and
Speaker 1: it's like it just piles up, and it's just I
Speaker 1: don't have anywhere to put it because I live in
Speaker 1: an apartment. So anyway, finally, I'm like going through these
Speaker 1: boxes and I'm like, JMO beauty, when did I did
Speaker 1: someone send me this as a prank or something? Because
Speaker 1: I definitely didn't order it, and not that I wouldn't
Speaker 1: want it, but I opened It's very heavy and it's
Speaker 1: just a whole assortment of her skincare line. And there
Speaker 1: is a card that says, I saw your video. It's
Speaker 1: easy to go along with the crowd. Thanks for not
Speaker 1: doing that. It's I'm paraphrasing the tic. There was a
Speaker 1: TikTok of me talking about her while I was on
Speaker 1: the Zach Saying podcast, and I was talking about how
Speaker 1: I'd really changed my opinion about her because I saw
Speaker 1: her documentary and I just made me soften on her
Speaker 1: and realize, like she's actually pretty cool and talented and
Speaker 1: just you know, is just a girl that wants to
Speaker 1: put her art out there and be seen. And we're
Speaker 1: all just mental because that's it was taken out of
Speaker 1: context and she's and yes she's a movie star, but
Speaker 1: like generally we're all just like jealous if we're shitting
Speaker 1: on her. And I think that that's probably what was
Speaker 1: going on in my perspective at least, And so I
Speaker 1: said that we clipped it for my TikTok because people
Speaker 1: were already kind of clipping it, and so we clipped
Speaker 1: it and then it kind of took off.
Speaker 2: And.
Speaker 1: Then she saw it and she sent me the stuff
Speaker 1: and then so at the very end of the message, though,
Speaker 1: she said, and here's here's like my skincare lone. She
Speaker 1: goes for something about like so you can take care
Speaker 1: of your feet, and I'm like, is there foot cream
Speaker 1: in this? Like I was very confused. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: maybe she's heard like me talk about my bunions and
Speaker 1: she's kind of like putting in a dig in there.
Speaker 1: And then this is like days ago that this happened.
Speaker 1: And I literally cried when I got it because it
Speaker 1: was just so sweet, and I feel bad for anything
Speaker 1: I've ever said judgmental about her, because she went out
Speaker 1: of her way to like, at least she did. She
Speaker 1: didn't type it up herself, but she definitely like maybe
Speaker 1: she did type it up and send an email so
Speaker 1: they typed it up, but she definitely it was her voice.
Speaker 1: I can just tell when someone is like it's them.
Speaker 1: And then the ps about my using this the stuff
Speaker 1: she sent for my feet, I was like, what is
Speaker 1: this about? And this girl got like she'd I realized
Speaker 1: last night in bed, I seized up because I suddenly
Speaker 1: realized what she was saying. I used to do a
Speaker 1: joke about that she must have heard or maybe it
Speaker 1: was part of it. I don't even remember how she
Speaker 1: came across this, but I used to do a joke
Speaker 1: about how she's so pretty that like you shouldn't trust
Speaker 1: buying your skincare from her because she'd probably she probably
Speaker 1: wants you to look ugly because she she needs you
Speaker 1: to stay ugly so she can stay pretty. That was
Speaker 1: like my whole premise. And I'm like, she's gonna mean
Speaker 1: girls you and she's gonna put foot cream in that stuff.
Speaker 1: She wouldn't put that on her face, like she's tricking you.
Speaker 1: She doesn't use that. And so she did my joke
Speaker 1: back to me and kind of like did a little
Speaker 1: dig and I fucking respect it and I love it,
Speaker 1: and she's like, yeah, use this on your feet, Like
Speaker 1: but she also gave me this nice gift. So it
Speaker 1: was just like she's just cool.
Speaker 2: And that joke ever make it on you?
Speaker 1: I don't know where she could have seen it. I'm
Speaker 1: sure I've said it on some couch. I'm sure I
Speaker 1: don't know where. I maybe even said it in that interview.
Speaker 1: It may have even been in that clip that weeklip.
Speaker 2: Here you.
Speaker 3: Were talking about your feet.
Speaker 1: I'm not safe, but no, no, this is definitely about
Speaker 1: because I was like, Jalo has a line of skincare,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, don't use it because there's no way
Speaker 1: she's gonna tell us her secrets. Like she's got good
Speaker 1: secrets and she doesn't want you to know them, So
Speaker 1: don't buy her skincare line because it's probably foot cream.
Speaker 1: Like she's Mean Girls girls in US, and I stole
Speaker 1: the foot cream line from Mean Girls Like I didn't.
Speaker 1: I wasn't trying to rip off that joke. I'm just
Speaker 1: like that's what they do in Mean Girls and and
Speaker 1: she did it back to me and it totally went
Speaker 1: over my head. This is what happens when you're a comedian.
Speaker 1: You think other people aren't funny, or like you just
Speaker 1: don't expect them to be funny, so you just don't.
Speaker 1: You're just like, why would she say okay? And and
Speaker 1: then last time in bed and I'm like oh, and
Speaker 1: I'm like she got me good, and it just felt it.
Speaker 1: It made me a little nauseous because I'm like, oh no,
Speaker 1: she heard me like make fun of her and do
Speaker 1: that joke. I just had to like remember people see stuff.
Speaker 1: And I just this weekend and I've just had like
Speaker 1: uh not because of that, but I I did an
Speaker 1: interview last week that actually she was like kind of
Speaker 1: called out some of my stuff and she's like, it
Speaker 1: just seems like, you know, cruel and tasteless for no reason.
Speaker 1: That's what an interviewer said to me. And I was like,
Speaker 1: what was this about roasts?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 1: And I get that they are cruel a tasteless.
Speaker 2: No, it's to be king, but that's the time when
Speaker 2: you're allowed to do it, and you're doing it in
Speaker 2: joke form, and it's what you expect bad.
Speaker 1: And then I was like examined my set and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I think I am sometimes just mean for the sake
Speaker 1: of being mean. And I just like, but it's kind
Speaker 1: of impossible to write comedy and be nice.
Speaker 2: That's a fucking roast. That's the whole point of roasts.
Speaker 1: Well, she got me. She made me second guess everything,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh man, I don't want to
Speaker 1: put out like cynicism and like like, uh, just this nasty.
Speaker 2: Kind of so stupid. It's like going to the Olympics
Speaker 2: and being like you're running a little fast. This is
Speaker 2: a little fas. This is much faster than I would
Speaker 2: see in the show.
Speaker 1: I know, that's what I defended it as, like that
Speaker 1: was the job I was hired for. I don't know
Speaker 1: what to tell you, Like, that's kind of what I
Speaker 1: had to do, and it's maybe weird that I can
Speaker 1: do it with such ease or that I enjoy doing it.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I was this week and looking at my
Speaker 1: act and I was like, well, that's me.
Speaker 2: I'm so mad at that person. I'm so mad.
Speaker 1: Okay, she she meant well by it, and she is
Speaker 1: a fan, but she it did make me question myself
Speaker 1: a little bit. But I just don't, you know, I
Speaker 1: don't know where to write from if I'm not like
Speaker 1: pointing out things that I'm kind of like pissed about
Speaker 1: and then I kind of passive aggressively make fun of
Speaker 1: them while also trying to point out the hypocrisy. Then
Speaker 1: I get kind of dirty, as dirty as they do.
Speaker 2: Kind of That's why you're always punching up, you know.
Speaker 2: That's why it's bad to punch down, because if you're
Speaker 2: just being mean to some underling, then that's that's just
Speaker 2: there's no point to that. But if you punch up,
Speaker 2: then you're allowed to because you're the one that's suffering.
Speaker 2: And so like in your last special, you're annoyed or
Speaker 2: you're mad at you know, your own mortality and your
Speaker 2: own like ability to have children and stuff like that,
Speaker 2: and those are things that you can be as mean
Speaker 2: as you want about because it's because you're you're punching
Speaker 2: up in that situation. If you were going out there
Speaker 2: and you were like, if you were doing a roast, okay,
Speaker 2: you're doing Remember when you did a roast, you roasted
Speaker 2: Tom Brady. You're roasting NFL players and other comedians who
Speaker 2: are on the same level as you. If you went
Speaker 2: out on the roast and you were like, the guy
Speaker 2: that works the post office is a fat piece of shit.
Speaker 2: Why he's ugly and smells like shit, that would be mean.
Speaker 2: But in this instance, you're everyone up there agreed to
Speaker 2: be roasted and they're on the same level or above you.
Speaker 1: Okay, well, now I'm starting to think about my stand
Speaker 1: up and like, sometimes I think I throw people under
Speaker 1: the bus, or like I kind of do I feel
Speaker 1: like if I I think in my head I justify
Speaker 1: because I'm like, oh, I make fun of myself a lot,
Speaker 1: so I can just then I can make fun of
Speaker 1: other people that aren't here, and maybe subjects, like even
Speaker 1: the JLO thing, like I'm glad I didn't include all
Speaker 1: that bit in my special because I was kind of thought, oh,
Speaker 1: she's gonna see this and it is not very nice
Speaker 1: and it's coming from a place of jealousy, like.
Speaker 2: Changing your mind, but you're also like changing your mind
Speaker 2: while working out that bit, and you're like, I don't
Speaker 2: even know. I like, I think why am I saying?
Speaker 1: I was like, I think that's why I'm saying is
Speaker 1: because I like her so much that I'm like jealous.
Speaker 1: It's just interesting to find your motivations. Like I was
Speaker 1: talking to this interviewer about how I used to, Oh,
Speaker 1: this is what I wish I would have said to
Speaker 1: work because we were talking about you know, when I
Speaker 1: would go on stage and I would I would try
Speaker 1: to like hurt a guy. If a guy had hurt me,
Speaker 1: I would like write a bit about him in a
Speaker 1: way that would like pray on some kind of insecurity
Speaker 1: that he had, and I wouldn't use his name, but
Speaker 1: like if he ever heard it, he would know it
Speaker 1: is about him because I wanted to hurt him as
Speaker 1: much as he hurt me, right like because classic that's
Speaker 1: but that sometimes I think, oh, I'm just trying to
Speaker 1: get revenge. I just yes, but I'm just trying. I think.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm like, no, I want I just want to
Speaker 1: be mean because he was mean to me. But the
Speaker 1: truth in that is that I he didn't I felt
Speaker 1: he didn't understand how devastated I was by what he
Speaker 1: did to me, even though it wasn't his fault. He
Speaker 1: just changed his mind and didn't like me anymore. And
Speaker 1: I really can't be mad at that. So instead, I'm
Speaker 1: going to try to get him to feel the sadness
Speaker 1: I felt, and then maybe he'll feel bad about what
Speaker 1: he did. Like, I think that's the cutest route.
Speaker 2: Idea misguided. Yeah, the secret I was just.
Speaker 1: Like wanting my feelings validated. Like if he were to
Speaker 1: be like, I know this is so hard and I
Speaker 1: know this sucks, but instead he was just like, this
Speaker 1: is just how I feel, and this is how it's
Speaker 1: going to be.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: That was like, Oh, you don't get what you're doing
Speaker 1: to me, but you will. I will make you feel
Speaker 1: just as sad, and I'll do it in a different way.
Speaker 1: That's like poking fun at something how you look or family. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I did, I really hurt this person for a while, yeah,
Speaker 1: and made them uncomfortable and made them loathe me, and
Speaker 1: and they should have because I was just like, it
Speaker 1: was so misguided and it was all just like grow.
Speaker 1: I think everyone does it. When you're rejected. You just
Speaker 1: have to come up with a story why they are
Speaker 1: evil and why, because the story just can't be that
Speaker 1: they didn't like you, they are attracted to you.
Speaker 3: I was like that, I think in my twenties. But
Speaker 3: then like I started, I was like, then I started
Speaker 3: seeing the girl's points. I'm like, all right, yeah, you know,
Speaker 3: like I get it all right.
Speaker 1: I don't think I was getting any feedback, not that
Speaker 1: I would have asked for it, but I think guys
Speaker 1: would just start to slow fade, and so I wouldn't
Speaker 1: know why that's the world, and it would just seem
Speaker 1: like and I'm glad I didn't. I don't want to
Speaker 1: know why. I can only guess the many reasons they
Speaker 1: had to not want to be my boyfriend. But I
Speaker 1: think back then I was just so hurt that I
Speaker 1: was like, if this guy's not gay or like, that's
Speaker 1: my one thing. I could say, he's maybe gay, that's
Speaker 1: why he doesn't like me, And then I don't take
Speaker 1: it personally, or or he's so scared. He's so scared
Speaker 1: to be loved like that was another thing engaged a
Speaker 1: week later.
Speaker 3: That'll make him more attractive to women. Yeah, and they're like,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna approve you, I'm.
Speaker 2: Gonna fix him.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well well really, anyone who would ever try to
Speaker 1: like love someone who doesn't want to be loved is
Speaker 1: really thinks they're unlovable themselves, as we know. So Dan,
Speaker 1: where can we find her special?
Speaker 3: I'm on Yeah, you can just check out Dance Fatty Dance.
Speaker 3: It's free on YouTube. I am on Instagram to follow there,
Speaker 3: and you can get like all my dates on my website.
Speaker 1: Dan Saint Germain is one of the best comics out there.
Speaker 1: He's so funny. Go see him live. You'll see him
Speaker 1: in like an intimate, uh not completely finished comedy club.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well do in six months, guys.
Speaker 3: Whenever you see me, there'll be plenty of room, so
Speaker 3: don't worry.
Speaker 1: But definitely get tickets to go see him if he's
Speaker 1: coming near you, Like it's it's a it's different than comedy.
Speaker 1: Go to comedy clubs and see these girl He's been
Speaker 1: around forever. He's doing it at the level of the
Speaker 1: people you go see in theaters. It's just things haven't
Speaker 1: worked out for him yet. But they you deserve that level.
Speaker 1: You deserve the No.
Speaker 3: I have a great I mean I have a great resume,
Speaker 3: you know you. I told everybody all the ship that
Speaker 3: I've done. They'd be like, oh, wow, that's amazing. You
Speaker 3: must be rich.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, nope, going to see this guy and
Speaker 1: how Dan is a bargain basement community. But it's just
Speaker 1: we don't know why. It's just an anomaly that you
Speaker 1: aren't bigger. But the thing is, you will be and
Speaker 1: you are so fucking funny. And I always tell you
Speaker 1: that I wish I had your brain, and sometimes I
Speaker 1: use your brain to help me with things.
Speaker 2: Because Germain is comedians though that's the no dancing. Germaine
Speaker 2: is three count the three viral clips away from being
Speaker 2: a theater act. Just kind of get those three.
Speaker 3: Absolutely had two this year. Come on, I gotta get
Speaker 3: the next.
Speaker 2: Well's no, it needs to be over a million, needs
Speaker 2: to be over two million.
Speaker 3: I mean both are like over a million, you know.
Speaker 2: But okay, okay, well maybe.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I wasn't getting nicky viral until that moment.
Speaker 1: But it's and it's hard to sustain it. No, I mean,
Speaker 1: it's been a slow build the whole fucking time. It's
Speaker 1: it seems like I've had so many successes and yeah,
Speaker 1: I've had a pretty good career for a while. But
Speaker 1: there's a lot of factors that contribute to that. My age,
Speaker 1: my gender, the amount of other people doing it of
Speaker 1: my age and gender place things that there's I've been
Speaker 1: very lucky and you just haven't been. Dan, You've actually
Speaker 1: been so lucky. We're so we're so lucky. And go
Speaker 1: watch Dance Special. He's fucking incredible. Get on the ground
Speaker 1: floor now you'll u because he is. He's one of
Speaker 1: the best. Dan Saint Germains Dance Fatty Dance on YouTube
Speaker 1: were free. Brian Franzie, thanks for being here. We will
Speaker 1: see you later this week for another episode of this podcast,
Speaker 1: Don't be good Bye.