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Speaker 1: Family Secrets is a production of I Heart Radio. Danny's

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Speaker 1: Listening is a bonus series brought to you by Family Secrets. Hi,

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Speaker 1: thanks for welcoming a place to share my family secret.

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Speaker 1: In two thousand eighteen, when I was forty six years old,

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Speaker 1: I completed a genetic test gifts from my father in law.

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Speaker 1: What I learned from that test was mind blowing and

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Speaker 1: at the same time not all that shocking because I

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Speaker 1: grew up with an alcoholic mother. I learned that the

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Speaker 1: dad who raised me was not my biological father. But

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Speaker 1: with my parents were deceased at this time, so I

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Speaker 1: couldn't ask them any questions. I quickly became an investigator,

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Speaker 1: scouring the Internet for information for days weeks. Ultimately I succeeded,

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Speaker 1: and I've learned the identity of my biological father and

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Speaker 1: to half sisters, all alive still in a small town

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Speaker 1: where I was born. My biological father, still married to

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Speaker 1: his wife, denies the relationship with my other mother besides

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Speaker 1: a one time thing, and he has no interest in

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Speaker 1: knowing me. My stepmother, who's still alive, shared all that

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Speaker 1: she knew with me. She shared that the dad who

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Speaker 1: raised me knew I was not his child and stopped

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Speaker 1: my mother from getting an abortion, telling her that he

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Speaker 1: would raise me as his own and no one would

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Speaker 1: have to know the truth. He only shared this with

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Speaker 1: my stepmother before they were married, and told her and

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Speaker 1: no one else. This process has been strange on a

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Speaker 1: lot of individuals I never knew I was related to.

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Speaker 1: Some embraced me and encouraged me on my journey, and

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Speaker 1: many became angry, defensive, and protective of their truth. Ironically,

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Speaker 1: for the last fifteen years I've worked as a marriage

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Speaker 1: and family therapist, I've always been really interested in the

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Speaker 1: pathic of other people's family stories and journeys. Now I

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Speaker 1: and myself graveling with my own. I think I've always

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Speaker 1: been searching for my true story and identity. Thanks again

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Speaker 1: for a chance to share a bit about this journey.

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Speaker 1: I gain a lot of comfort and confidence in my

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Speaker 1: own emotions by listening to you and your listeners, So

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Speaker 1: thank you. Right. Hi, it's Danny, and I'm very touched

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Speaker 1: by what you shared, and you took the time to

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Speaker 1: call in. Several things struck me about your story. First,

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Speaker 1: as you said that you weren't entirely shocked, even though

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Speaker 1: your mind was blown by what you discovered. I felt

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Speaker 1: that way too, when I discovered the truth of my identity.

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Speaker 1: It's like there was always something there, something not quite apprehendable,

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Speaker 1: because how could it be, as kids were formed by

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Speaker 1: what the adults around us tell us, and we have

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Speaker 1: no reason to believe otherwise, and yet when something doesn't

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Speaker 1: add up, we feel it. I wonder if this is

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Speaker 1: what led you, unconsciously, of course, to become a marriage

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Speaker 1: and family therapist. I mean, my god, that is just

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Speaker 1: so perfect. When I'm most moved by is what you

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Speaker 1: shared about your father, the man who raised you. He

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Speaker 1: sounds like he was a very loving person, and he's

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Speaker 1: the reason you're here. I feel much that way about

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Speaker 1: my own dad, even though my story is different from yours.

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Speaker 1: When these stories crash into our lives, the ones that

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Speaker 1: have always been lurking there, the people involved behave in

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Speaker 1: all sorts of ways. As you said, some are kind,

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Speaker 1: some are angry, some are terrified, Some reach out of hand,

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Speaker 1: and others slam the door. You say you've always been

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Speaker 1: searching for your true identity. Now you know far more

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Speaker 1: than you ever did, and that knowledge, though it is

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Speaker 1: indeed strange, will lead you to even greater wholeness over time.

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Speaker 1: I hope you can draw from your deep well of

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Speaker 1: empathy and direct some of that empathy towards yourself. I'll

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Speaker 1: be thinking of you, and I wish you joy and

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Speaker 1: much peace. If you have a family secret story you'd

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Speaker 1: like to share on Danny's Listening, please call eight eight

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Speaker 1: eight Secret zero. That's eight eight S E C R

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Speaker 1: E T and the number zero