1 00:00:00,640 --> 00:00:03,520 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need 2 00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:09,440 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, on dating, on work, on sex, on parenting, 3 00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey 4 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:16,800 Speaker 1: FM and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading 5 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:20,239 Speaker 1: your letter live on the air right here, right now, 6 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:23,200 Speaker 1: just like we're gonna read this one. Okay, love it? Yeah, 7 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:26,920 Speaker 1: let's buckalup, been hold on tight, We got it for you. 8 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:31,440 Speaker 1: Here it is Strawberry Letter, subject, keep your nasty hands 9 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:34,720 Speaker 1: off me. Dear Stephen Shirley, I am a thirty year 10 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:37,760 Speaker 1: old woman that's in a dirty situation with my man. 11 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:41,040 Speaker 1: I love my man and couldn't have asked for a 12 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:44,640 Speaker 1: better partner, but there's one thing about him that ticks 13 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:49,159 Speaker 1: me off. He hates to wash his hands. We've been 14 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:52,839 Speaker 1: together for six years and we just got engaged. We 15 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:55,920 Speaker 1: moved in together last month, and that's when I noticed 16 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:59,560 Speaker 1: his nastiness. He works long days at a factory and 17 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:02,800 Speaker 1: when he comes home, he changes his clothes and flops 18 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:05,520 Speaker 1: down on the bed. At first, I didn't want to 19 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:08,080 Speaker 1: say anything and nag him about it, but last week 20 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:11,120 Speaker 1: I couldn't hold it any longer. When I questioned him, 21 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:15,160 Speaker 1: he asked me why was it? But was it bothering me? 22 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:18,679 Speaker 1: Because they're his hands and his germs. I didn't care 23 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:21,520 Speaker 1: to argue with him, so I let it go. Over 24 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:24,480 Speaker 1: the weekend, he was in our garage tinkering around with 25 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:27,680 Speaker 1: his car and working on his motorcycle. He came straight 26 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 1: into my kitchen and opened the refrigerator to get a beer, 27 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:33,640 Speaker 1: and then proceeded to get the bread out of the 28 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:38,240 Speaker 1: pantry to make a sandwich. There was a visible trail 29 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:42,199 Speaker 1: of oil and grime everywhere he touched. I just stood 30 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:44,759 Speaker 1: there and watched him so I could go behind him 31 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:48,520 Speaker 1: and sanitize the kitchen when he finished. Whenever he's in 32 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:52,960 Speaker 1: the bathroom, there's a flush and then the door opens 33 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:57,600 Speaker 1: right afterwards. I decided to take the same attitude with him, 34 00:01:57,760 --> 00:02:01,040 Speaker 1: and I started with holding sex. Told him I didn't 35 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:04,800 Speaker 1: want his germs from his hands on me. I told 36 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:07,520 Speaker 1: him he would have to fairly wash his hands and 37 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:11,520 Speaker 1: clean under his nails daily or he's cut off from 38 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:15,280 Speaker 1: touching me. That caused an instant argument, and he says 39 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:17,760 Speaker 1: he can't marry a woman who treats him like a child. 40 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:20,920 Speaker 1: I can't believe that he's upset that he's that upset. 41 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:23,480 Speaker 1: I don't want to get an infection from his nasty 42 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:27,400 Speaker 1: hands on me. How should I handle this? Please? Help? Well? 43 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:29,680 Speaker 1: I think you are handling it. I mean you have 44 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:32,720 Speaker 1: asked him, You've asked him nicely. You've not nagged him 45 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:36,200 Speaker 1: about it. You know, you've told him about the germs, 46 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:38,520 Speaker 1: how you don't want to get an infection. You're not 47 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,679 Speaker 1: treating him like a child. I don't think you're doing 48 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:43,520 Speaker 1: that at all. You are expressing how you feel about 49 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:46,359 Speaker 1: what he's not doing, and that's simply being clean. I mean, 50 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,880 Speaker 1: you find out a lot about a person when you 51 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,080 Speaker 1: move in together, and that's one of the things maybe 52 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:53,160 Speaker 1: you didn't notice in the six years you guys have 53 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:57,519 Speaker 1: been just dating before you got engaged. So now everything's 54 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:02,480 Speaker 1: come to light. You know, it's just a matter of 55 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:06,280 Speaker 1: simply being clean and good hygiene. Okay, for me, cleanliness 56 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:09,600 Speaker 1: is just a deal breaker. It just is. Anyone who 57 00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:12,280 Speaker 1: doesn't wash their hands after using the bathroom, come on, now, 58 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:16,280 Speaker 1: they're just nasty, just nasty. He's even all in the kitchen, 59 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:20,200 Speaker 1: going all in the refrigerator and touching stuff, making sandwiches 60 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:22,720 Speaker 1: and stuff. No, you gotta wash your hands. What are 61 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:27,520 Speaker 1: you doing? You know, so after you've done everything, including 62 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 1: withholding sex, and he still won't wash. I hope his 63 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 1: hands is the only you didn't mention anything else. But 64 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:39,480 Speaker 1: I hope that's that's it. I mean, yeah, it would 65 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:42,000 Speaker 1: do more than just tick me off. I'm just telling you, 66 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:44,600 Speaker 1: I would be absolutely mad and a Paul. What makes 67 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:47,920 Speaker 1: I just think? You know, what makes you think he's 68 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:50,640 Speaker 1: gonna change after marriage? He's not gonna change. So if 69 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:54,120 Speaker 1: you don't get this situation settled before marriage, you're gonna 70 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:57,960 Speaker 1: be even more frustrated once you get you know, till 71 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:01,920 Speaker 1: death do you part vow involved. So you gotta have 72 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,880 Speaker 1: to deal with this, I mean, and he doesn't seem 73 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:07,400 Speaker 1: to be wanting to hear anything you have to say, 74 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:10,080 Speaker 1: so I don't know. This may not mister Nasty, may 75 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:19,240 Speaker 1: not be your man after all, Steve, Surely I agree 76 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:25,400 Speaker 1: with everything you said. So that's a wonderful letter. But 77 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:28,520 Speaker 1: we're dealing with something here that is kind of crazy. 78 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:33,160 Speaker 1: Now you've been together six years, and you got engaged, 79 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:39,520 Speaker 1: and you moved in together last month six years and 80 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:46,799 Speaker 1: you just now noticing last month he nasty? What what 81 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:50,200 Speaker 1: do you must have been living in the most unobservational 82 00:04:50,279 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 1: six year period enter any relationship. He worked out a factory. 83 00:04:57,120 --> 00:05:01,839 Speaker 1: He come home, changes clothes, flop down on the bed, 84 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:07,200 Speaker 1: right down. When you work in the factory, which I have, 85 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:12,640 Speaker 1: you smell like the factory. It's a different air in 86 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:17,680 Speaker 1: the factory, man, because it's in a confined space. And 87 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:23,280 Speaker 1: the oil, the machinery, the combustion, all of that combined. 88 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:27,120 Speaker 1: It's just in the air. Every factory has a certain 89 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:29,360 Speaker 1: smell to it. You know, you at work, if you're 90 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:35,159 Speaker 1: blindfolded by the smell, gets in your clothes, it's in 91 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:39,680 Speaker 1: your hair. Now, it's all under his nails. You just 92 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:44,760 Speaker 1: not noticing it. Then you questioned him about it, and 93 00:05:44,839 --> 00:05:47,000 Speaker 1: he asked you why I was bothered him because they're 94 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:51,240 Speaker 1: his hands and his head germs. Well, your hands and 95 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:55,920 Speaker 1: your gems touch me. So you've done what you should 96 00:05:55,920 --> 00:06:00,919 Speaker 1: have done. You've retracted from having sex. Now he's mad 97 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:05,240 Speaker 1: at you. And now he said he don't know if 98 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:08,120 Speaker 1: he can get married to a woman that treats him 99 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:11,840 Speaker 1: like a child. He didn't open up the pantry with refrigerator. 100 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:14,400 Speaker 1: I mean the bread made a sandwich. You got a 101 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:19,760 Speaker 1: visible trailer all in grime everywhere. He touched nasty. He 102 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:24,479 Speaker 1: making sandwiches, reaching down in the bread. That ain't what 103 00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:29,760 Speaker 1: You open the refrigerator over? How many times have you 104 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:32,440 Speaker 1: got slept up? Subject? You don't come in this house 105 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:36,159 Speaker 1: and open this trigerator without washing your hands. Took a 106 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:42,599 Speaker 1: many as whippers for that, right, Hang on, stay here. Yeah, 107 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:45,520 Speaker 1: we'll get part two of Steve's response coming up at 108 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:48,799 Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the our subject keep your nasty 109 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:51,880 Speaker 1: hands off me. We'll get back into it right after this. 110 00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:57,600 Speaker 1: You're listening show, all right, Steve, Come on, let's recap 111 00:06:57,640 --> 00:07:01,039 Speaker 1: today's strawberry letters. Subject keep your nasty hands off me. 112 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:04,360 Speaker 1: It's an interesting letter. The woman's been dating this man. 113 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:06,719 Speaker 1: She's thirty years old, dating this man for six years. 114 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:10,160 Speaker 1: They finally got engaged. She moved in, and she noticed 115 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:14,000 Speaker 1: the last month his nastiness. He worked in the factory, 116 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,760 Speaker 1: comes home, changing his clothes, flops down on the bed. 117 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:21,400 Speaker 1: She mentioned to him that that was bothering her. He 118 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 1: didn't understand it. He said, why are you tripping these 119 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,360 Speaker 1: is my hands and my gams. She wanted to wash 120 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 1: his hand. She want to argue with the man. So 121 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,680 Speaker 1: then he was outside working on the car and a motorcycle, 122 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,840 Speaker 1: came in the house, open the refrigerator and left a 123 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:39,200 Speaker 1: trail of grime. He made a sandwich without washing his head. 124 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:43,280 Speaker 1: You can see grime everywhere. Goes in the bathroom, she 125 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:45,600 Speaker 1: hears a flush. The next thing you know, here in 126 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:50,080 Speaker 1: the hallway talking. I'm out. I'm just dours, no watch. 127 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:53,800 Speaker 1: So she decided to take the same attitude with him, 128 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:57,200 Speaker 1: and the ladies started with holding Secks. Told him I 129 00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:59,760 Speaker 1: didn't want his germs from his hands on me, and 130 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,160 Speaker 1: as he thoroughly washed his hand to clean under his 131 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:05,320 Speaker 1: nails daily, or he's cut off from touching me. It's 132 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:11,280 Speaker 1: an argument. This fool, mister Nasty says, I can't married 133 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:14,360 Speaker 1: a woman to treat me like a child. Well, she 134 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:18,080 Speaker 1: came man man to act like a child. So what 135 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:23,120 Speaker 1: is your two kids getting mad? Right, it's time to 136 00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:27,960 Speaker 1: break up. But I think I have a few solutions. 137 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:33,920 Speaker 1: There are some things that you might have to try, lady. Obviously, 138 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:38,640 Speaker 1: withholding set, he's not equating that to clinic because now 139 00:08:38,679 --> 00:08:43,960 Speaker 1: he tripped. I think you gotta do little things to 140 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:48,599 Speaker 1: attract his attention. All of this has to do with 141 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:51,520 Speaker 1: the kitchen and things you can do to get him 142 00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:55,920 Speaker 1: to understand the necessity for clintic. Here's a couple of 143 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:59,080 Speaker 1: suggestions you might want to try the next time. Y'all 144 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,079 Speaker 1: sit down and eat the meal, take your shoes off, 145 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:03,040 Speaker 1: put them on top of the table. Don't say nothing. 146 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:13,720 Speaker 1: Just keep eating. Don't say anything. Here's another suggestion. You 147 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:16,880 Speaker 1: come out the bathroom and while y'all in the living room, 148 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:20,280 Speaker 1: while y'all in the kitchen fit eat, Just bring some 149 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:23,200 Speaker 1: tarlet tissue in there. Set it in the middle of 150 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:29,000 Speaker 1: the table. Don't open your damn mouth. Get you a 151 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:34,360 Speaker 1: sugar bowl, go outside, put some dirt in it. Put 152 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:37,200 Speaker 1: that on the table, and when you make his food, 153 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:40,120 Speaker 1: open it and just sprinkle a little dirt around the 154 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:46,920 Speaker 1: edge of his plate. Don't say a damn thing, sprinkling 155 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,840 Speaker 1: around the plate, keeping it all over on his side 156 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:53,720 Speaker 1: of the table. It just it'll make him feel more 157 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:58,360 Speaker 1: at home. Don't say nothing. Don't say nothing. From now, 158 00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:02,960 Speaker 1: when it's time to make his sandwich, I want you 159 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:09,720 Speaker 1: to start reusing as much bread as you can. Yeah, 160 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:11,720 Speaker 1: you know, just reach out in there, get the end 161 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:14,240 Speaker 1: out to trash and put a little peanut butter on it. 162 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,880 Speaker 1: Make little lord Derk prices and just make a plate 163 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:20,640 Speaker 1: with just broken pieces of bread. Reuse bread a matter 164 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:24,320 Speaker 1: of fact, before you make his sandwich with the bread, 165 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:29,040 Speaker 1: wipe off the counter with a slice of bread. Make 166 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:37,559 Speaker 1: his damn sandwich. Wow, you got to do serious to 167 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:42,520 Speaker 1: take his draws. Take a pair of his draws. Yeah, 168 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:46,880 Speaker 1: just a house with it, wax the furniture, and then 169 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:48,920 Speaker 1: hand them to him to tell him have a nice 170 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:52,840 Speaker 1: day at work with him on that's how you draws. Yeah, 171 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,800 Speaker 1: you have to do things to people who are nasty 172 00:10:55,960 --> 00:11:00,080 Speaker 1: and don't even mention it. Baby, what did you? What 173 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:02,360 Speaker 1: did you washing the flu and didn't hand and meeting straws? 174 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:05,160 Speaker 1: Just wear I'm don't wear about it? Just John, You 175 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:08,840 Speaker 1: gonna do things fellas? You have any suggestions, Yes, I 176 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:10,960 Speaker 1: have some. I have a couple right here. What do 177 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:15,400 Speaker 1: you have to lead his underwear, his underwear that he 178 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:19,040 Speaker 1: took off the night before, wrap his sandwich with it, 179 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:21,640 Speaker 1: and then wrap that innuminum fall when he go to 180 00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:26,600 Speaker 1: work to eat his sandwich. Yeah, yeah, yeah, do that 181 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:35,120 Speaker 1: fall his sandwiches wrapped in his drawl and his sandwich 182 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:42,680 Speaker 1: is wrapped in his drows. Yeah, Michael, if he like 183 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:45,320 Speaker 1: I got most men like you know, we like bananas, 184 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:49,360 Speaker 1: peel the banana, peel it down, put the banana in 185 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:53,520 Speaker 1: his socks. Put that in his lunch fock and know 186 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:58,240 Speaker 1: that his banana. Yeah, but I gotta since you brought 187 00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:03,319 Speaker 1: up socks, Jay, I have a number wash his factory 188 00:12:03,559 --> 00:12:08,560 Speaker 1: socks in a pot on the stove. I was, but 189 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:14,719 Speaker 1: serve it also as socks soup. Yes, but add to that, 190 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:19,160 Speaker 1: put some chicken in there. So if he didn't decide 191 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:25,480 Speaker 1: to eat around the socks socks soup, chicken so en 192 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:30,640 Speaker 1: chicken sock soup, they're gonna need something to drink up. Yeah, 193 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:35,960 Speaker 1: they're gonna need something to drink that bad fruit. Get 194 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:46,920 Speaker 1: that picture, fill it up, same colored lemonade. Yeah, that's 195 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:53,800 Speaker 1: another fun all right, we gotta get too much. If 196 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:57,200 Speaker 1: you have any suggestions, uh to Steve Harvey FM on 197 00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:00,800 Speaker 1: Instagram and Facebook. Also check out the Strawberry Letter podcast 198 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:03,600 Speaker 1: on demand now. Coming up at forty six after the hour, 199 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:07,240 Speaker 1: Steve's viral cool swag Walk video. We're going to talk 200 00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:10,880 Speaker 1: about that right after this. You're listening to the Steve 201 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,000 Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show