Speaker 1: Welcome back everybody to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks
Speaker 1: again for joining us, and we are so excited to
Speaker 1: be back at Kathy how about it. We got to
Speaker 1: share so much with them.
Speaker 2: So we just got back from our cruise. We're gonna
Speaker 2: we're not only going to answer fan questions today, but
Speaker 2: we're going to tell you some of the great things
Speaker 2: we did on our cruise. But in the meantime, make
Speaker 2: sure you're submitting all of your questions to us and
Speaker 2: your comments. We love reading them. All you got to
Speaker 2: do is go to Bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour
Speaker 2: and send us everything you got.
Speaker 1: Yes, send us everything, your questions, your updates, all of it,
Speaker 1: and questions for us about our journeys that we've been
Speaker 1: on recently.
Speaker 3: Boyd, do we have a lot to tell you know
Speaker 3: what to do?
Speaker 1: You can also dm us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.
Speaker 2: Okay, Susan, I don't even know where to be in
Speaker 2: on the cruise. We've got to talk. We have to
Speaker 2: talk about our Holland husbands. These two guys are gay,
Speaker 2: they've been together fourteen years. They are Dutch, they speak
Speaker 2: impeccable English. We sat next to them at dinner one
Speaker 2: night and we got chatting and we just hung out
Speaker 2: with him for the rest of the cruise. We went
Speaker 2: off the ship with him. We ate meals with them,
Speaker 2: we had cocktails with them, we took photos with them.
Speaker 2: We had such a blast. They are the best guys.
Speaker 2: And in fact, Susan and I have another trip coming
Speaker 2: up next spring where a were going.
Speaker 1: Susan, We're going to Holland We're going to stay in
Speaker 1: their house and they have actually a guesthouse on their
Speaker 1: property and they live right on the river and they
Speaker 1: want us to come when it's warm because they have
Speaker 1: a boat. These guys were like our best friends. We
Speaker 1: met them night one, like you said, at dinner, and
Speaker 1: we were inseparable ever since.
Speaker 3: They were great.
Speaker 2: They made They made the cruise for me.
Speaker 3: One other thing made the cruise. I didn't do anything
Speaker 3: for you.
Speaker 2: Really well.
Speaker 3: Then I took you to the wear potato frack. Yes,
Speaker 3: so we go.
Speaker 2: We go to Istanbul our first time. We started in Athens.
Speaker 2: Susan was sleeping and so Kathy got up and went
Speaker 2: to the acropolis. Found my way to the acropolis. They
Speaker 2: were sold out of tickets. Where there's a will, there's
Speaker 2: a way, I got a ticket, I went walked the Acropolis,
Speaker 2: did the whole thing. Anyway, we have so much more
Speaker 2: to tell, but right now we got to get into
Speaker 2: our question of the day. We do Are you ready?
Speaker 2: Here we go? I still I want to talk more
Speaker 2: about the trip, but we'll do it. We'll do it
Speaker 2: another time. You are fans. You wait, we have so
Speaker 2: many stories for you. Okay, here's the question of the day. Susan.
Speaker 2: When was the time you realized you were wrong in
Speaker 2: an argument with your significant other? And how did you
Speaker 2: handle it?
Speaker 3: I hate it when i'm wrong. First of all, are
Speaker 3: you ever wrong?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 3: I am? You know what, Kathy, I know? Like boom,
Speaker 3: I go, oh my god, I'm so sorry, Oh my god,
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry. I had no I'm wrong, I'm wrong.
Speaker 1: Forgive me, like I immediately apologize, not to me.
Speaker 2: Hide, Oh it's significant other, not me, not me, She says,
Speaker 2: I'm never wrong with you know what? I got to
Speaker 2: be honest here. I think when my husband was alive,
Speaker 2: what is it I'd rather be right than happy or something?
Speaker 2: There's expressions, Yeah, there's an expression. Do you want to
Speaker 2: be right or happy? I think I focused a lot
Speaker 2: on wanting to be right. And but now I've learned
Speaker 2: that when I'm wrong, I am so quick to say
Speaker 2: I am so sorry. I can't you know, I apologize.
Speaker 1: When you were happily married, way back, when you were wrong,
Speaker 1: you wouldn't admit it.
Speaker 3: You just I was.
Speaker 2: I'm telling you I was rarely wrong in my brain.
Speaker 3: You heard it from her mouth herself.
Speaker 2: No, I'm saying, that's what I'm telling you. In my brain,
Speaker 2: I wanted I was right, and so now I would
Speaker 2: rather be happy than right. And so you know what,
Speaker 2: you know, you're wearing a beautiful pink shirt today. If
Speaker 2: I say it's a blue shirt, you say it's an
Speaker 2: orange shirt. Whatever color you want makes me happy. I
Speaker 2: just don't care.
Speaker 3: One thing that comes to mind.
Speaker 1: I remember griping to my my ex husband, Dicky, like
Speaker 1: when they play golf, what takes you so long? If
Speaker 1: you were done until I started playing, when I started
Speaker 1: playing the game, I'll never forget calling him up and said, Dicky,
Speaker 1: I owe you an apology.
Speaker 3: He said for what I said. I get it.
Speaker 1: It's you're done the eighteenth cold. It's long before you
Speaker 1: get home. And I understood why, And I apologize for
Speaker 1: all those times. Oh I wish I want him with
Speaker 1: three kids while he's had a day off.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm just saying I wish I had only
Speaker 2: been wrong about golf games. I just think that, you know,
Speaker 2: I think little things. It's easy sometimes to say I'm wrong, Yeah,
Speaker 2: my bad, But I think some of those bigger things,
Speaker 2: I just indignant. You know. It was like I wanted
Speaker 2: to be right. I think again, Susan, how often do
Speaker 2: you and I talk about you have to get to
Speaker 2: a certain age where you know what it's okay in
Speaker 2: your head, be right in your heads, and just give
Speaker 2: the apology and move on with life, as.
Speaker 1: Well as sometimes when you're accused of something that you
Speaker 1: did not do or did not say, or yeah, whatever
Speaker 1: the case may be. And I am a stickler like
Speaker 1: I will fight to the end when I know I
Speaker 1: am correct.
Speaker 2: I don't anymore. I used to.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well now it's not worth it.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying now at my age there, I'd
Speaker 2: rather be happy than right, And so sometimes I know
Speaker 2: I'm right and I let it go. Sometimes you know
Speaker 2: I'm wrong, and when i'm wrong now I'm jumped to
Speaker 2: say I'm sorry. So I think again, It's one of
Speaker 2: these things. With age comes maturity, It comes discerning whether
Speaker 2: something is worth going to the mat and fighting about.
Speaker 1: How about you guys out there, anybody else still feel
Speaker 1: like we do at this point, like it's okay to
Speaker 1: be wrong and you just accept it and apologize whatever
Speaker 1: the case may be.
Speaker 3: Or do you guys still yeah?
Speaker 2: Do your kids? Do your kids admit when they're wrong?
Speaker 3: No, definitely not. They're not there yet.
Speaker 2: I figured you and I are going to be six
Speaker 2: feet under the ground, you know, be manure for somebody's
Speaker 2: plants by the time kids are ready to admit they're wrong.
Speaker 1: Oh god, whatever, all right, we're going to start our
Speaker 1: fan questions. My favorite part, Okay, I'll start.
Speaker 2: Excuse me. I thought your favorite part was playing games.
Speaker 1: Oh geez. She loves that as long as it's not
Speaker 1: the one game. Although the last few episodes we did
Speaker 1: play some cool game.
Speaker 2: Moral quandary. I'm kind we're bringing out accidents.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, no, all right.
Speaker 1: This is from Laura, Hi, Kathy, and Susan. My husband
Speaker 1: is very nonchalant and doesn't have many opinions about things.
Speaker 2: Was he when I was looking?
Speaker 1: I think in general that's probably good, but it's hard
Speaker 1: for me when we are discussing future plans and goals.
Speaker 1: He says he just wants to do whatever makes me
Speaker 1: happy and that he'll be happy with that, and she's wondering, Okay,
Speaker 1: Am I just lucky in that way? Because sometimes I
Speaker 1: feel like with important decisions like where we live, or
Speaker 1: what jobs we have, or whether we have kids, et cetera,
Speaker 1: are things that are someone should be opinionated about. So
Speaker 1: it makes it hard for me because I feel like
Speaker 1: I have to be the end all decision maker in
Speaker 1: the relationship, which causes me a lot of stress.
Speaker 2: Oh God, I say, where do I sign up?
Speaker 1: I was wondering what your thoughts are. Am I just
Speaker 1: lucky and should just take it on the chin? Or
Speaker 1: do you think it's something I should be concerned about?
Speaker 1: Thanks for your help. Well, first and foremost, I do
Speaker 1: think I would need an opinion about having children. You
Speaker 1: want to know if the man is interested in having
Speaker 1: a family owned don't care.
Speaker 3: I don't care.
Speaker 2: I think that's a good point. You know, It's funny.
Speaker 2: In my marriage, we Daryl and I used to joke
Speaker 2: that I made the big decisions in life, like what
Speaker 2: we're going to have for dinners? Yeah, I made the big,
Speaker 2: those big decisions. He made the little decisions like where
Speaker 2: we were going to live, what city, what jobs, where
Speaker 2: we were going to invest our money? Like you know,
Speaker 2: I think you have. In some ways people have evolved.
Speaker 2: There used to be a division of labor where women
Speaker 2: did the housework and the kids and the husband. You know,
Speaker 2: I think that's a time gone by. I think you
Speaker 2: don't think it's time going on.
Speaker 3: I think women have jobs as well, and they.
Speaker 2: Oh people I know who are young, they really divided equally.
Speaker 3: Yeah, a lot of them do now.
Speaker 2: But I'm with you, Susan, I would be concerned. I mean,
Speaker 2: on the one hand, jeez, you know, a guy just
Speaker 2: wants to make me happy. Where let me sign up?
Speaker 2: Because I have an older brother of father.
Speaker 1: His name, He just wants to make me happy. Whatever
Speaker 1: makes me happy. You're looking at a gift towards there.
Speaker 3: Shut your mouth, but think about it.
Speaker 2: But I mean, on the one hand, yes, it seems
Speaker 2: that way, but let's look at it in another way.
Speaker 3: Maybe she thinks he doesn't really care, you know that
Speaker 3: kind of.
Speaker 2: I'm saying, maybe you know, whether they're in bed whenever
Speaker 2: you want, Where do you want to live? Where do
Speaker 2: you want to go to dinner. I don't care what
Speaker 2: you wear. I don't care what do you want to
Speaker 2: name the kids? I don't care. If the first thing
Speaker 2: out of his mouth is I don't care, that doesn't
Speaker 2: bode well. I don't think for an integrated marriage where
Speaker 2: we have equal parts. But damn, I'd like to try
Speaker 2: it for a year or two.
Speaker 1: Really, But look again, Laura, and think about it. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: he just wants to make you happy. And if you're
Speaker 1: maybe she's not a type A, Kathy. Maybe she's not
Speaker 1: like us because we can control the world, you know,
Speaker 1: we go and loves in.
Speaker 2: Wait a minute, she has to be a type A.
Speaker 2: He's the one that's not the type A. If she's
Speaker 2: making all the decisions.
Speaker 1: But she's saying I feel like it's end all decision
Speaker 1: maker in the relationship, which causes her stress.
Speaker 2: Hey, Laura, I've got the answer for you. Call Susan
Speaker 2: and me. List your questions, list your concerns, find you know.
Speaker 2: We'll tell you. Susan will tay how to decorate your house,
Speaker 2: what to buy, I'll tell you you know where to travel. Yeah, oh,
Speaker 2: I will not tell her what to cook. I'll tell
Speaker 2: you where to make a reservation.
Speaker 3: I really don't.
Speaker 2: I can see it.
Speaker 3: I think you should just chill and let him be.
Speaker 1: If you're not concerned that he cares, you know, he's
Speaker 1: really doing it because he loves you and he wants
Speaker 1: you happy, then then roll with it.
Speaker 2: However, I think she definitely should talk about the kids. Yeah,
Speaker 2: force that one, Laura. You don't want to end up
Speaker 2: with three kids. And he wakes up one day and says,
Speaker 2: you know what, Laura, I never wanted any kids. You
Speaker 2: wanted them, so you know, have that conversation.
Speaker 1: Usually you already have jobs. You don't say what kind
Speaker 1: of job we're going to have.
Speaker 3: And where we're going to live. You're going to live
Speaker 3: where you were?
Speaker 2: No, But like with my husband's case, you know, he
Speaker 2: had he was an investment banker, and so he had
Speaker 2: opportunities to move to other cities and work in other places.
Speaker 2: And I never you know, I figured he was one
Speaker 2: in that career, so I didn't really you know, you'd.
Speaker 1: Be okay if he came to you and just said, Kathy,
Speaker 1: where I'm going to take this job here and we're moving.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you susan funny you ask. My husband
Speaker 2: was old enough that he was at the tail end
Speaker 2: of the Vietnam War, so he was an officer in
Speaker 2: the Navy, United States Navy. I loved it. I wanted
Speaker 2: him to stay in the Navy. I loved meeting people.
Speaker 2: I loved moving all the time. I loved traveling. That's
Speaker 2: where I got the travel bug. So yeah, I would
Speaker 2: have been every time he said we were going to move.
Speaker 2: I remember when we when he finish graduate school and
Speaker 2: we moved to Houston for his first job out of
Speaker 2: business school. We were going to stay there five years.
Speaker 2: Twenty two years later, I was like, when are we leaving?
Speaker 2: When are we leaving? And then we moved to Austin
Speaker 2: and I've been here, what twenty three years? I'm so
Speaker 2: ready to go live. You know where I'm going. I'm
Speaker 2: going to live with the Holland husbands in Holland.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you the nice life, all right, well that
Speaker 1: we had, Oh my god, were the best.
Speaker 2: They are the best? All right? Okay, okay, The next
Speaker 2: one is from anonymous. Okay, here we go. I watched
Speaker 2: my daughter's two little ones four days a week, full
Speaker 2: time at my daughter's house. I arrived in the morning
Speaker 2: very early, and immediately I get angry. The house is
Speaker 2: a disaster. There are dishes in the sink, clothes all over,
Speaker 2: overflowing garbage, cans, et cetera. I can't stand it. Excuse
Speaker 2: I wish I could see Susan's face. Your eyes are
Speaker 2: bugging out of her for you, because Susan lives like
Speaker 2: a meat nick Anonymous, you do not want to be
Speaker 2: anywhere near Susan. Okay, so everything's overflowing garbage. I can't
Speaker 2: stand it, says Anonymous. I start cleaning up right away,
Speaker 2: but I'm resentful that I have to stay in that
Speaker 2: environment all day. It would be hard to take them
Speaker 2: to my house, as my one grandchild has to go
Speaker 2: to school nearby and be picked up. Plus all their
Speaker 2: inside and outside toys are there. My daughter and I
Speaker 2: end up fighting every time. She has a very busy life,
Speaker 2: as does her husband. They both work long hours, and
Speaker 2: I get there is limited time to clean, but when
Speaker 2: the weekends come, they go out all weekend and do
Speaker 2: nothing do I just stay quiet and suck it up.
Speaker 2: It's the only thing we fight about, Susan. I got
Speaker 2: to jump in here. This is the easiest, easiest thing
Speaker 2: to answer, Anonymous. You have two choices. One is keep
Speaker 2: doing what you've been doing. You're going to keep getting
Speaker 2: what you've been getting. The other option is to say,
Speaker 2: lovely daughter, who I adore. I can't do this. It
Speaker 2: causes me stress. I love my grandchildren, but you either
Speaker 2: have to hire a housekeeper or something, because I can't
Speaker 2: come here anymore. So I'm giving you a month's notice
Speaker 2: that you either have to find other childcare or get
Speaker 2: somebody here to clean this house. Because while you're working
Speaker 2: all day in a sterile, clean environment, I'm here trying
Speaker 2: to clean up the mess that is your house. And
Speaker 2: if you don't think I would say it, Susan, you
Speaker 2: know I would.
Speaker 1: No, I know you would. I don't tell it for
Speaker 1: a second. And I am a little bit feeling the
Speaker 1: same way. I would definitely hire somebody. When I read
Speaker 1: that she watches them four days a week, it occurs
Speaker 1: to me that maybe because of finances they can't hire
Speaker 1: a professional.
Speaker 3: They want mom to do it.
Speaker 1: And if that's the case, I can really because the weekends,
Speaker 1: come there out all weekend.
Speaker 3: And spend time with their family, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Maybe that's why I get what she trust me, you
Speaker 1: know me, Kathy, I was having issues from the first sentence,
Speaker 1: I really get it.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. If they're out partying all weekend, stay home
Speaker 2: one night and hire a housekeeper.
Speaker 3: I know, but we can't tell them what to do.
Speaker 2: Then, if that's what I just said, she has two choices.
Speaker 2: One you give them a month to get their act together,
Speaker 2: get the house clean and say it's got to be
Speaker 2: kept clean. Or you tell them to hire someone. What
Speaker 2: you The third choice is not a choice. You you
Speaker 2: keep living in that mess. I wouldn't do it. You
Speaker 2: wouldn't either for me.
Speaker 1: She says, all their toys inside and out are there,
Speaker 1: and the child goes to school. When the child's at school,
Speaker 1: that's when you're cleaning up.
Speaker 3: I think that's part of it. I would do the.
Speaker 1: Same exact thing, or get some toys for your home,
Speaker 1: inside and out. How far does she live from them
Speaker 1: to go pick them up, or have your children, your
Speaker 1: daughter drop her kids off to you in the morning.
Speaker 1: I mean, and that could be the reason when she explains,
Speaker 1: I can't live like that. I can't stay in your house.
Speaker 1: It's a total disaster. I'm not telling you how to live,
Speaker 1: but I don't approve, and it makes me crazy.
Speaker 2: Well, I agree with all that, but when here, you know,
Speaker 2: I don't know. Maybe I had too much vacation in Greece,
Speaker 2: but I feel like this is not your daughter's problem.
Speaker 2: This is your problem, Anonymous. Don't make her problems your problems.
Speaker 3: If the house, she says, they fight. Every time, you're
Speaker 3: fighting over the same thing. It's not going to change.
Speaker 2: That's what I said. If you keep doing what you've
Speaker 2: been doing, you keep getting what you've been getting.
Speaker 1: So that's a toleration of insanity. They say, if you
Speaker 1: keep doing the same thing over and over, you expect
Speaker 1: a different result.
Speaker 2: Okay, So I know, Anonymous, when you hear this, you're
Speaker 2: going to say. Easy for you guys to say, Oh,
Speaker 2: I can assure you both Susan and I have said
Speaker 2: no to our children on babysitting, and I got to
Speaker 2: be honest with you. I love my grandchildren, Anonymous, I
Speaker 2: wouldn't do it four days a week now. That tells
Speaker 2: me you need to get yourself a life. And I
Speaker 2: realized that's maybe unfair. But you know, you can't complain
Speaker 2: about something you're doing. You're choosing to do. You can't
Speaker 2: be resentful if you're choosing. Is that right? Do you agree? Yes?
Speaker 2: If you're choosing to do it, you can't be resentful.
Speaker 2: Make a different choice, Anonymous, and have.
Speaker 3: A sit down with your daughter.
Speaker 1: Don't fight with her every week because it'll strain the relationship.
Speaker 2: But when you say have a sit down, what's the
Speaker 2: sit down?
Speaker 3: Say, honey, I can't live like this. I can't come
Speaker 3: here and clean your house. I bet you. The daughter
Speaker 3: turns and says, I'm not expecting you to clean it.
Speaker 2: Your point, she's not comfortable being in it.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's it's her compared to that.
Speaker 2: That's why it's anonymous problem. Anonymous. You need to say
Speaker 2: I love you, but I can't do this anymore. I'll
Speaker 2: have the kids one day at my house, or you
Speaker 2: need to hire a housekeeper. Something has to change, Anonymous.
Speaker 2: I guess as Susan's in my point here, would you agree? Yes?
Speaker 3: Good luck though it's a tough one.
Speaker 2: And if nothing else works, I'll give you Susan's phone numbers.
Speaker 2: She cleans like no other. That place will be spanning about. Oh,
Speaker 2: give her two hours. Did not eat off the floors
Speaker 2: the story.
Speaker 1: I went over to my son's house and his wife
Speaker 1: and the baby, and I thought i'd be helpful. The
Speaker 1: piles of laundry up in the room. It was like
Speaker 1: I started at seven thirty in the morning. I must
Speaker 1: have did nine loads of laundry, folded ready to be
Speaker 1: put away.
Speaker 2: Wait where were way back up? Where was the laundry
Speaker 2: dirty or clean?
Speaker 1: Well, it looked like piles of dirty laundry in their bedroom.
Speaker 1: And Stella and I were upstairs and we got her
Speaker 1: mommy's blow dryer when I.
Speaker 3: Gave her a bath. Blah blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: Anyhow, I go, let me help them, because they both
Speaker 1: work full time. It's long hours, right, I do all
Speaker 1: this laundry. They come home and she was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I can't believe you did all that for me.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I really And the baby was young.
Speaker 1: It was the first time, Mommy, you know, I get it.
Speaker 1: And Christopher says, mom, those three piles right there, they're clean.
Speaker 2: I Susan, I knew where you were going to win. Kyle,
Speaker 2: who's if you all forgot? Susan officiated his wedding a
Speaker 2: year and a half ago, so Susan knows Kyle. Kyle
Speaker 2: went before he was married, he lived in an apartment
Speaker 2: and he was moving and my sister from Canada. Susan,
Speaker 2: my sister is also Susan. Susan came to visit and
Speaker 2: we went over to Kyle's apartment to drop off some
Speaker 2: boxes because he was moving. And we walked in. I
Speaker 2: swear to God, I said, was there a robber in here?
Speaker 2: Like everything closed on the kitchen table, under the kitchen table.
Speaker 2: My sister was like, Holy God, does he live here?
Speaker 2: I said, I'm not sure. He may have been robbed.
Speaker 2: So I call him up and sure enough, that's how
Speaker 2: we lived. And I said, Kyle, there are clothes in
Speaker 2: the laundry basket on the table under the tablecos Mom,
Speaker 2: it's easy, I said, what's easy? He goes the clothes,
Speaker 2: You're gonna die. You should give Kyle hard time about this.
Speaker 2: The clothes on the kitchen table, you understandile you couldn't
Speaker 2: see the table are all clean. The ones under the
Speaker 2: table are dirty. So when I wear them, I just
Speaker 2: throw them under the table. I swear to God. Now
Speaker 2: he is married. Now his house it looks like yours.
Speaker 2: His wife has got his act together? Is that hysterical?
Speaker 1: I could never Oh, and my boys when they were
Speaker 1: growing up, I would teach my children. I'd do the
Speaker 1: laundry for them, of course, And I'd say, all you
Speaker 1: have to do is put it away, and they did.
Speaker 3: It's so easy. I could just grab it out of
Speaker 3: the basket. No, that's a thing.
Speaker 2: Do you know there are people that don't mind doing
Speaker 2: laundry and folding, but they don't want to put it away.
Speaker 2: I'm like, that's the easiest part. It's it's the sorting
Speaker 2: the laundry, putting in the bleach, putting.
Speaker 1: You ask me for something, I could tell you exactly.
Speaker 1: Go to the third drawer on the right. I can
Speaker 1: test you this.
Speaker 2: I literally will say this Susan when I met our house, Hey,
Speaker 2: can I borrow a pair of running shorts to go
Speaker 2: out and walk? Yes? In the guest room. Go into
Speaker 2: the third drawer on the right. Behind the black box
Speaker 2: are three pairs. I swear to god, she's not lying.
Speaker 1: It's same with the eyeliner. Somebody needs top drawer centered,
Speaker 1: not on the other side.
Speaker 2: Third row back the third because the first two rows
Speaker 2: are black and then brown the third six.
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, anyhow, Oh my god, that was Those.
Speaker 2: Are good good Hey Anonymous, good luck with your daughter.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you gotta be real.
Speaker 1: If it's really stressful. Then some people can turn the
Speaker 1: other cheek. I admire people like this, Kathy. Some people
Speaker 1: can roll and not let it bother. It's not their problem.
Speaker 3: They just do what they do. I can't do that.
Speaker 1: I wasn't built that way.
Speaker 2: I have one more quick straight before we move on
Speaker 2: to our our last Golden Spotlight segment. When we were
Speaker 2: on the cruise, I swear to God, people, I'm not joking.
Speaker 2: You walked into Susan's room. I was like, is anyone
Speaker 2: say every day?
Speaker 3: She said?
Speaker 2: Every day you'd walk into a room. There was nothing
Speaker 2: in sight. It was like, Susan, are you sleeping here?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 2: Everything is packed in neat, tidy bags, in drawers, in
Speaker 2: put away. Ever put it away. That's Susan's You know,
Speaker 2: what are your tombstone? Sus And I'm going to tell
Speaker 2: your children Susan knowles.
Speaker 3: She always put it away, always put it away. Everything
Speaker 3: has a home.
Speaker 2: Oh that's right, everything has a home. All right, let's
Speaker 2: move on there.
Speaker 3: Okay, Now we're going to be doing a Golden Spotlight
Speaker 3: where we discuss something that is impacting the Golden community.
Speaker 3: Today's Golden Spotlight is all about life in an empty nest.
Speaker 3: What is the transition like going from having kids in
Speaker 3: the house and being a full time parent to when
Speaker 3: your children have their own lives and families. What are
Speaker 3: the pros and cons and how did you get through
Speaker 3: that tree? Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Most people have tears and it's really hard. I did
Speaker 1: cry when the first day, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: But I was like, yes, everything's going to be neat
Speaker 1: like I leave it. When I come home, it's exactly
Speaker 1: like I left it. You do miss them, but when
Speaker 1: they come back and stay for a couple of days,
Speaker 1: I go insane because as much as I spend time
Speaker 1: with them, stuff all over the place. So some people
Speaker 1: really really have a hard time. And I personally think
Speaker 1: that they devoted their lives totally one hundred percent, as
Speaker 1: we all do to our children. But I kept my
Speaker 1: own life. Yes, I kept things for me as well,
Speaker 1: and they didn't. They lost friends or hobbies or whatever.
Speaker 1: Everything was about their children.
Speaker 2: So I'm in the middle there. I had hobbies and friends,
Speaker 2: but I and I worked on and off, but I
Speaker 2: raised my kids. And this is a very true story.
Speaker 2: We were living in Austin by the time Caitlyn went
Speaker 2: to college, and we had bought a big family house
Speaker 2: and upstairs everyone there were three bedrooms, three bathrooms, and
Speaker 2: a playroom and now our bedroom and the rest of
Speaker 2: the living was downstairs, and we had a pool. And
Speaker 2: I remember when we bought this house, I said to Darryl,
Speaker 2: to my husband, this is going to be our family home.
Speaker 2: This is where everybody's going to come back and bring
Speaker 2: their grandchildren. This is going to be like the family
Speaker 2: gathering place. When Caitlyn went off to college, I remember
Speaker 2: Daryl came home from work every night. I was sitting crying.
Speaker 2: He's like, what's wrong. I said, it's so lonely upstairs.
Speaker 2: They're all gone. I mean, I couldn't stand it. I
Speaker 2: would go from room to room crying because they were
Speaker 2: gone and I missed them so much. Can I tell
Speaker 2: you we sold that house? Oh, I don't know. About
Speaker 2: three months later, he goes, I can't take it anymore
Speaker 2: because I I realized they weren't going to come back.
Speaker 2: My oldest son was living in Michigan, and then.
Speaker 3: He went to college. She was coming back, no Caitlyn.
Speaker 2: When Kaitlyn graduated from high school, she went to college
Speaker 2: in California. Then she lived overseas for a while. Then
Speaker 2: she lived in San Francisco, then she lived in New York.
Speaker 2: And I've told you this when she called and then
Speaker 2: she went to grad school in Boston, And when she
Speaker 2: ever called us and said she was moving back to Austin,
Speaker 2: I almost fell over. Kyle came home. He came home
Speaker 2: after college. Douglas has never lived back in Austin. He
Speaker 2: hates the heat, and Caitlyn took her like fifteen years
Speaker 2: to come back. So for me, the transition, I will
Speaker 2: be very honest, was very difficult. I loved I cried
Speaker 2: at the end of the summer when my kids went
Speaker 2: to school. My friends used to call me Captain Kangaroo
Speaker 2: for those of you who are old enough to know
Speaker 2: who Captain Kangaroo is. I loved being with my kids
Speaker 2: and taking him to the park and museums and reading
Speaker 2: to them. I just I loved it. So for me,
Speaker 2: being an empty nester originally was very difficult. Now fast forward,
Speaker 2: because my youngest child is thirty eight, I freaking love it.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 3: When you moved that it got better.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh, and in fact, I live in the same
Speaker 2: home now that Daryl and I moved to when we
Speaker 2: sold that big house.
Speaker 3: And I love it and kids never lived there. They
Speaker 3: come and stay, period.
Speaker 2: They come and stay. One of the room's upstairs. I
Speaker 2: used to call it Caitlin's room because she did live
Speaker 2: in it for a while after college, between before she
Speaker 2: moved to Dallas and then back to San Francisco. But yeah, no,
Speaker 2: I just think it's like anything else in life. Transitions
Speaker 2: are just that, their transitions, and it takes time to adapt,
Speaker 2: to create new arteries, if you will, for your life,
Speaker 2: new interests, because now you have the time, you know,
Speaker 2: to put yourself first, and that is the biggest pro
Speaker 2: I think.
Speaker 3: And redecorate the room and take over the closet.
Speaker 2: And Susan, yeah, I mean you get to do things
Speaker 2: for you and your spouse or your partner or your
Speaker 2: girlfriend or whoever it is you or yourself. You get
Speaker 2: to do some things you haven't had time to. And
Speaker 2: then when grandchildren come along, you know, that's a whole
Speaker 2: other fabulous sam layer.
Speaker 3: Don't you agree, Kathy.
Speaker 1: One the kids get their place, you're over there a lot,
Speaker 1: and you're helping them decorate, and you're helping them get
Speaker 1: new things for the bathroom and all that stuff. It's
Speaker 1: kind of exciting because it is starting a life.
Speaker 2: It's so funny you said that when I had the
Speaker 2: big house. I love decorating it. I really did buying
Speaker 2: things for it. Now my daughter comes over and says, Mom,
Speaker 2: I really like that mirror. Take it. It's your furnishings
Speaker 2: and things to my kids because they like it. They're
Speaker 2: in a building mode. You and I are in a
Speaker 2: do we really need this anymore? Mode? Right? That's how
Speaker 2: it is, her one way this mode. Yes, yeah, so
Speaker 2: I think that's the pros. You get to do things
Speaker 2: for yourself and your spouse or your partner. You get
Speaker 2: to create new interest, travel, do all the things you
Speaker 2: kind of put off. The cons are. It's a new
Speaker 2: stage of life and you have to say goodbye, you know,
Speaker 2: to that stage of raising kids. And for some people
Speaker 2: that's harder than it is for others.
Speaker 3: It is, it is, but it's all part of life.
Speaker 2: It's all part of life. And now you know, I
Speaker 2: wouldn't want to go back with you.
Speaker 1: No, No, that's why young people have babies.
Speaker 2: That's why we have grandchildren, so we can spoil them
Speaker 2: and send them off.
Speaker 1: Absolutely. I had a huge party here yesterday. Instell of God.
Speaker 1: The things she says at our mouth she's so funny.
Speaker 2: But they're funny, but you know, might be.
Speaker 1: And she's just having the time of her life. And
Speaker 1: when it was all over, there was a huge mess.
Speaker 1: We cooked on the grill of it.
Speaker 3: I don't care, don't you don't have to help me
Speaker 3: clean up. It's all good.
Speaker 2: And I guarantee you, folks, if students in Philly and
Speaker 2: I'm in Austin, but I will bet you you the
Speaker 2: bottom dollar in my bank account, that if I went
Speaker 2: to Susan's house right now, you would never know that
Speaker 2: her family was there yesterday.
Speaker 3: You could have came last night. I don't go to
Speaker 3: bed with it.
Speaker 2: Oh God, All right, Well, this has been so so
Speaker 2: much fun. We want to thank you all for listening.
Speaker 2: Today we're going to be back again talking more about
Speaker 2: our crews, talking more about Susan has a special visitor
Speaker 2: at her home. We might want to talk about it.
Speaker 3: Company.
Speaker 1: Make sure you keep following us and follow them from
Speaker 1: Bachelor Happy Hour, as we have new episodes coming out
Speaker 1: every week and you don't want to miss I mean,
Speaker 1: the things that.
Speaker 3: We've experienced just in the last few weeks.
Speaker 2: We want you to submit all your questions and comments
Speaker 2: to us. We want to know if you have friends
Speaker 2: and Holland husbands to travel with, because we fully agree
Speaker 2: it is the best anyway. All you have to do
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Speaker 3: Until next time, we have
Speaker 2: A great week.