1 00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:11,200 Speaker 1: Welcome back everybody to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks 2 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:14,480 Speaker 1: again for joining us, and we are so excited to 3 00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:16,320 Speaker 1: be back at Kathy how about it. We got to 4 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:18,000 Speaker 1: share so much with them. 5 00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:21,000 Speaker 2: So we just got back from our cruise. We're gonna 6 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:23,840 Speaker 2: we're not only going to answer fan questions today, but 7 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:26,079 Speaker 2: we're going to tell you some of the great things 8 00:00:26,079 --> 00:00:28,960 Speaker 2: we did on our cruise. But in the meantime, make 9 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:31,800 Speaker 2: sure you're submitting all of your questions to us and 10 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:34,440 Speaker 2: your comments. We love reading them. All you got to 11 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:37,200 Speaker 2: do is go to Bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour 12 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:39,240 Speaker 2: and send us everything you got. 13 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:43,360 Speaker 1: Yes, send us everything, your questions, your updates, all of it, 14 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:47,040 Speaker 1: and questions for us about our journeys that we've been 15 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:47,760 Speaker 1: on recently. 16 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:50,680 Speaker 3: Boyd, do we have a lot to tell you know 17 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:51,320 Speaker 3: what to do? 18 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:56,760 Speaker 1: You can also dm us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour. 19 00:00:57,520 --> 00:01:00,160 Speaker 2: Okay, Susan, I don't even know where to be in 20 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 2: on the cruise. We've got to talk. We have to 21 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:07,360 Speaker 2: talk about our Holland husbands. These two guys are gay, 22 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,839 Speaker 2: they've been together fourteen years. They are Dutch, they speak 23 00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:14,280 Speaker 2: impeccable English. We sat next to them at dinner one 24 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:17,640 Speaker 2: night and we got chatting and we just hung out 25 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:19,880 Speaker 2: with him for the rest of the cruise. We went 26 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:22,040 Speaker 2: off the ship with him. We ate meals with them, 27 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:25,160 Speaker 2: we had cocktails with them, we took photos with them. 28 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:28,760 Speaker 2: We had such a blast. They are the best guys. 29 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:31,839 Speaker 2: And in fact, Susan and I have another trip coming 30 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 2: up next spring where a were going. 31 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:36,080 Speaker 1: Susan, We're going to Holland We're going to stay in 32 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:39,360 Speaker 1: their house and they have actually a guesthouse on their 33 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,640 Speaker 1: property and they live right on the river and they 34 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:43,640 Speaker 1: want us to come when it's warm because they have 35 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:47,480 Speaker 1: a boat. These guys were like our best friends. We 36 00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:49,960 Speaker 1: met them night one, like you said, at dinner, and 37 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:51,639 Speaker 1: we were inseparable ever since. 38 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:52,720 Speaker 3: They were great. 39 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:55,000 Speaker 2: They made They made the cruise for me. 40 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:57,720 Speaker 3: One other thing made the cruise. I didn't do anything 41 00:01:57,760 --> 00:01:58,000 Speaker 3: for you. 42 00:01:58,200 --> 00:01:58,680 Speaker 2: Really well. 43 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:03,400 Speaker 3: Then I took you to the wear potato frack. Yes, 44 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:03,880 Speaker 3: so we go. 45 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:08,680 Speaker 2: We go to Istanbul our first time. We started in Athens. 46 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,799 Speaker 2: Susan was sleeping and so Kathy got up and went 47 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,880 Speaker 2: to the acropolis. Found my way to the acropolis. They 48 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,680 Speaker 2: were sold out of tickets. Where there's a will, there's 49 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:20,560 Speaker 2: a way, I got a ticket, I went walked the Acropolis, 50 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:22,919 Speaker 2: did the whole thing. Anyway, we have so much more 51 00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:24,799 Speaker 2: to tell, but right now we got to get into 52 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:27,720 Speaker 2: our question of the day. We do Are you ready? 53 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:30,720 Speaker 2: Here we go? I still I want to talk more 54 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:32,480 Speaker 2: about the trip, but we'll do it. We'll do it 55 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:34,960 Speaker 2: another time. You are fans. You wait, we have so 56 00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:39,840 Speaker 2: many stories for you. Okay, here's the question of the day. Susan. 57 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:44,360 Speaker 2: When was the time you realized you were wrong in 58 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:48,360 Speaker 2: an argument with your significant other? And how did you 59 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:49,160 Speaker 2: handle it? 60 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:52,000 Speaker 3: I hate it when i'm wrong. First of all, are 61 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:52,720 Speaker 3: you ever wrong? 62 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:53,440 Speaker 2: Yes? 63 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:57,680 Speaker 3: I am? You know what, Kathy, I know? Like boom, 64 00:02:57,919 --> 00:03:00,200 Speaker 3: I go, oh my god, I'm so sorry, Oh my god, 65 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,880 Speaker 3: I'm so sorry. I had no I'm wrong, I'm wrong. 66 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:06,880 Speaker 1: Forgive me, like I immediately apologize, not to me. 67 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:11,960 Speaker 2: Hide, Oh it's significant other, not me, not me, She says, 68 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,079 Speaker 2: I'm never wrong with you know what? I got to 69 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:18,840 Speaker 2: be honest here. I think when my husband was alive, 70 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:23,639 Speaker 2: what is it I'd rather be right than happy or something? 71 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:26,280 Speaker 2: There's expressions, Yeah, there's an expression. Do you want to 72 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:29,560 Speaker 2: be right or happy? I think I focused a lot 73 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:32,840 Speaker 2: on wanting to be right. And but now I've learned 74 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:37,840 Speaker 2: that when I'm wrong, I am so quick to say 75 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:42,240 Speaker 2: I am so sorry. I can't you know, I apologize. 76 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:46,560 Speaker 1: When you were happily married, way back, when you were wrong, 77 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:47,440 Speaker 1: you wouldn't admit it. 78 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:48,160 Speaker 3: You just I was. 79 00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:51,360 Speaker 2: I'm telling you I was rarely wrong in my brain. 80 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:54,040 Speaker 3: You heard it from her mouth herself. 81 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:56,560 Speaker 2: No, I'm saying, that's what I'm telling you. In my brain, 82 00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:01,240 Speaker 2: I wanted I was right, and so now I would 83 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:04,040 Speaker 2: rather be happy than right. And so you know what, 84 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 2: you know, you're wearing a beautiful pink shirt today. If 85 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:09,360 Speaker 2: I say it's a blue shirt, you say it's an 86 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:12,160 Speaker 2: orange shirt. Whatever color you want makes me happy. I 87 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:12,760 Speaker 2: just don't care. 88 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:14,360 Speaker 3: One thing that comes to mind. 89 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:18,160 Speaker 1: I remember griping to my my ex husband, Dicky, like 90 00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:20,360 Speaker 1: when they play golf, what takes you so long? If 91 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:23,479 Speaker 1: you were done until I started playing, when I started 92 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:26,559 Speaker 1: playing the game, I'll never forget calling him up and said, Dicky, 93 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:27,839 Speaker 1: I owe you an apology. 94 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:30,640 Speaker 3: He said for what I said. I get it. 95 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:35,600 Speaker 1: It's you're done the eighteenth cold. It's long before you 96 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:38,760 Speaker 1: get home. And I understood why, And I apologize for 97 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,359 Speaker 1: all those times. Oh I wish I want him with 98 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:43,240 Speaker 1: three kids while he's had a day off. 99 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,600 Speaker 2: You know, I'm just saying I wish I had only 100 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:49,520 Speaker 2: been wrong about golf games. I just think that, you know, 101 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:58,360 Speaker 2: I think little things. It's easy sometimes to say I'm wrong, Yeah, 102 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:01,000 Speaker 2: my bad, But I think some of those bigger things, 103 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:04,440 Speaker 2: I just indignant. You know. It was like I wanted 104 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:07,120 Speaker 2: to be right. I think again, Susan, how often do 105 00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:08,800 Speaker 2: you and I talk about you have to get to 106 00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:12,440 Speaker 2: a certain age where you know what it's okay in 107 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:15,280 Speaker 2: your head, be right in your heads, and just give 108 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,919 Speaker 2: the apology and move on with life, as. 109 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:21,039 Speaker 1: Well as sometimes when you're accused of something that you 110 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:24,000 Speaker 1: did not do or did not say, or yeah, whatever 111 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:26,720 Speaker 1: the case may be. And I am a stickler like 112 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,200 Speaker 1: I will fight to the end when I know I 113 00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:29,960 Speaker 1: am correct. 114 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:31,760 Speaker 2: I don't anymore. I used to. 115 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:33,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, well now it's not worth it. 116 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,599 Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying now at my age there, I'd 117 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:39,640 Speaker 2: rather be happy than right, And so sometimes I know 118 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:43,160 Speaker 2: I'm right and I let it go. Sometimes you know 119 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:46,680 Speaker 2: I'm wrong, and when i'm wrong now I'm jumped to 120 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:48,920 Speaker 2: say I'm sorry. So I think again, It's one of 121 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:53,200 Speaker 2: these things. With age comes maturity, It comes discerning whether 122 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:55,440 Speaker 2: something is worth going to the mat and fighting about. 123 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:58,119 Speaker 1: How about you guys out there, anybody else still feel 124 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,359 Speaker 1: like we do at this point, like it's okay to 125 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:04,560 Speaker 1: be wrong and you just accept it and apologize whatever 126 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:05,240 Speaker 1: the case may be. 127 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:07,279 Speaker 3: Or do you guys still yeah? 128 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,200 Speaker 2: Do your kids? Do your kids admit when they're wrong? 129 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:13,719 Speaker 3: No, definitely not. They're not there yet. 130 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:16,400 Speaker 2: I figured you and I are going to be six 131 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:20,280 Speaker 2: feet under the ground, you know, be manure for somebody's 132 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:22,880 Speaker 2: plants by the time kids are ready to admit they're wrong. 133 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:33,160 Speaker 1: Oh god, whatever, all right, we're going to start our 134 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:37,840 Speaker 1: fan questions. My favorite part, Okay, I'll start. 135 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:41,400 Speaker 2: Excuse me. I thought your favorite part was playing games. 136 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:44,359 Speaker 1: Oh geez. She loves that as long as it's not 137 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:47,280 Speaker 1: the one game. Although the last few episodes we did 138 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:48,159 Speaker 1: play some cool game. 139 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:50,600 Speaker 2: Moral quandary. I'm kind we're bringing out accidents. 140 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:53,440 Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, no, all right. 141 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:57,040 Speaker 1: This is from Laura, Hi, Kathy, and Susan. My husband 142 00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:02,080 Speaker 1: is very nonchalant and doesn't have many opinions about things. 143 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:04,080 Speaker 2: Was he when I was looking? 144 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:08,360 Speaker 1: I think in general that's probably good, but it's hard 145 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:12,120 Speaker 1: for me when we are discussing future plans and goals. 146 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,560 Speaker 1: He says he just wants to do whatever makes me 147 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:20,440 Speaker 1: happy and that he'll be happy with that, and she's wondering, Okay, 148 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:25,080 Speaker 1: Am I just lucky in that way? Because sometimes I 149 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:28,560 Speaker 1: feel like with important decisions like where we live, or 150 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:31,520 Speaker 1: what jobs we have, or whether we have kids, et cetera, 151 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:35,920 Speaker 1: are things that are someone should be opinionated about. So 152 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:38,560 Speaker 1: it makes it hard for me because I feel like 153 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:43,120 Speaker 1: I have to be the end all decision maker in 154 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:46,480 Speaker 1: the relationship, which causes me a lot of stress. 155 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:51,320 Speaker 2: Oh God, I say, where do I sign up? 156 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:54,800 Speaker 1: I was wondering what your thoughts are. Am I just 157 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:58,880 Speaker 1: lucky and should just take it on the chin? Or 158 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:01,480 Speaker 1: do you think it's something I should be concerned about? 159 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:04,920 Speaker 1: Thanks for your help. Well, first and foremost, I do 160 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,880 Speaker 1: think I would need an opinion about having children. You 161 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:10,040 Speaker 1: want to know if the man is interested in having 162 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:11,160 Speaker 1: a family owned don't care. 163 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:12,000 Speaker 3: I don't care. 164 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:16,240 Speaker 2: I think that's a good point. You know, It's funny. 165 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:19,239 Speaker 2: In my marriage, we Daryl and I used to joke 166 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:26,040 Speaker 2: that I made the big decisions in life, like what 167 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:30,280 Speaker 2: we're going to have for dinners? Yeah, I made the big, 168 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:33,839 Speaker 2: those big decisions. He made the little decisions like where 169 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:37,480 Speaker 2: we were going to live, what city, what jobs, where 170 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,880 Speaker 2: we were going to invest our money? Like you know, 171 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:43,160 Speaker 2: I think you have. In some ways people have evolved. 172 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:46,800 Speaker 2: There used to be a division of labor where women 173 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:49,480 Speaker 2: did the housework and the kids and the husband. You know, 174 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:53,240 Speaker 2: I think that's a time gone by. I think you 175 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:54,440 Speaker 2: don't think it's time going on. 176 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:56,600 Speaker 3: I think women have jobs as well, and they. 177 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:03,319 Speaker 2: Oh people I know who are young, they really divided equally. 178 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, a lot of them do now. 179 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:09,920 Speaker 2: But I'm with you, Susan, I would be concerned. I mean, 180 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,320 Speaker 2: on the one hand, jeez, you know, a guy just 181 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,320 Speaker 2: wants to make me happy. Where let me sign up? 182 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,160 Speaker 2: Because I have an older brother of father. 183 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:20,760 Speaker 1: His name, He just wants to make me happy. Whatever 184 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:23,480 Speaker 1: makes me happy. You're looking at a gift towards there. 185 00:09:23,679 --> 00:09:26,679 Speaker 3: Shut your mouth, but think about it. 186 00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:29,880 Speaker 2: But I mean, on the one hand, yes, it seems 187 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:32,880 Speaker 2: that way, but let's look at it in another way. 188 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:35,800 Speaker 3: Maybe she thinks he doesn't really care, you know that 189 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:36,160 Speaker 3: kind of. 190 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:40,280 Speaker 2: I'm saying, maybe you know, whether they're in bed whenever 191 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,079 Speaker 2: you want, Where do you want to live? Where do 192 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:43,520 Speaker 2: you want to go to dinner. I don't care what 193 00:09:43,559 --> 00:09:44,959 Speaker 2: you wear. I don't care what do you want to 194 00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:47,120 Speaker 2: name the kids? I don't care. If the first thing 195 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,920 Speaker 2: out of his mouth is I don't care, that doesn't 196 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:54,360 Speaker 2: bode well. I don't think for an integrated marriage where 197 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:56,960 Speaker 2: we have equal parts. But damn, I'd like to try 198 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:57,840 Speaker 2: it for a year or two. 199 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:03,720 Speaker 1: Really, But look again, Laura, and think about it. Yeah, well, 200 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:08,040 Speaker 1: he just wants to make you happy. And if you're 201 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,640 Speaker 1: maybe she's not a type A, Kathy. Maybe she's not 202 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,760 Speaker 1: like us because we can control the world, you know, 203 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:14,199 Speaker 1: we go and loves in. 204 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,480 Speaker 2: Wait a minute, she has to be a type A. 205 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:18,480 Speaker 2: He's the one that's not the type A. If she's 206 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:20,160 Speaker 2: making all the decisions. 207 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:22,440 Speaker 1: But she's saying I feel like it's end all decision 208 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:25,560 Speaker 1: maker in the relationship, which causes her stress. 209 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:28,600 Speaker 2: Hey, Laura, I've got the answer for you. Call Susan 210 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:32,920 Speaker 2: and me. List your questions, list your concerns, find you know. 211 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,200 Speaker 2: We'll tell you. Susan will tay how to decorate your house, 212 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:39,240 Speaker 2: what to buy, I'll tell you you know where to travel. Yeah, oh, 213 00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:40,679 Speaker 2: I will not tell her what to cook. I'll tell 214 00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:41,760 Speaker 2: you where to make a reservation. 215 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:43,760 Speaker 3: I really don't. 216 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:44,480 Speaker 2: I can see it. 217 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:46,760 Speaker 3: I think you should just chill and let him be. 218 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:49,880 Speaker 1: If you're not concerned that he cares, you know, he's 219 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:52,160 Speaker 1: really doing it because he loves you and he wants 220 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:54,040 Speaker 1: you happy, then then roll with it. 221 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:57,880 Speaker 2: However, I think she definitely should talk about the kids. Yeah, 222 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,160 Speaker 2: force that one, Laura. You don't want to end up 223 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,760 Speaker 2: with three kids. And he wakes up one day and says, 224 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:04,520 Speaker 2: you know what, Laura, I never wanted any kids. You 225 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:06,480 Speaker 2: wanted them, so you know, have that conversation. 226 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:10,160 Speaker 1: Usually you already have jobs. You don't say what kind 227 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:11,079 Speaker 1: of job we're going to have. 228 00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:12,480 Speaker 3: And where we're going to live. You're going to live 229 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:12,920 Speaker 3: where you were? 230 00:11:13,559 --> 00:11:16,880 Speaker 2: No, But like with my husband's case, you know, he 231 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,839 Speaker 2: had he was an investment banker, and so he had 232 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:23,199 Speaker 2: opportunities to move to other cities and work in other places. 233 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:25,480 Speaker 2: And I never you know, I figured he was one 234 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:30,760 Speaker 2: in that career, so I didn't really you know, you'd. 235 00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:32,640 Speaker 1: Be okay if he came to you and just said, Kathy, 236 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,080 Speaker 1: where I'm going to take this job here and we're moving. 237 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:38,880 Speaker 2: Let me tell you susan funny you ask. My husband 238 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:40,720 Speaker 2: was old enough that he was at the tail end 239 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:43,000 Speaker 2: of the Vietnam War, so he was an officer in 240 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:47,080 Speaker 2: the Navy, United States Navy. I loved it. I wanted 241 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:49,839 Speaker 2: him to stay in the Navy. I loved meeting people. 242 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,920 Speaker 2: I loved moving all the time. I loved traveling. That's 243 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:55,560 Speaker 2: where I got the travel bug. So yeah, I would 244 00:11:55,559 --> 00:11:57,680 Speaker 2: have been every time he said we were going to move. 245 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,000 Speaker 2: I remember when we when he finish graduate school and 246 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:04,280 Speaker 2: we moved to Houston for his first job out of 247 00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:06,800 Speaker 2: business school. We were going to stay there five years. 248 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:10,280 Speaker 2: Twenty two years later, I was like, when are we leaving? 249 00:12:10,679 --> 00:12:12,920 Speaker 2: When are we leaving? And then we moved to Austin 250 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:15,240 Speaker 2: and I've been here, what twenty three years? I'm so 251 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:18,439 Speaker 2: ready to go live. You know where I'm going. I'm 252 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:20,680 Speaker 2: going to live with the Holland husbands in Holland. 253 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:24,079 Speaker 1: I'm telling you the nice life, all right, well that 254 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,959 Speaker 1: we had, Oh my god, were the best. 255 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:31,080 Speaker 2: They are the best? All right? Okay, okay, The next 256 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:34,959 Speaker 2: one is from anonymous. Okay, here we go. I watched 257 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:38,880 Speaker 2: my daughter's two little ones four days a week, full 258 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:42,160 Speaker 2: time at my daughter's house. I arrived in the morning 259 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:46,040 Speaker 2: very early, and immediately I get angry. The house is 260 00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:49,880 Speaker 2: a disaster. There are dishes in the sink, clothes all over, 261 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:54,600 Speaker 2: overflowing garbage, cans, et cetera. I can't stand it. Excuse 262 00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:57,800 Speaker 2: I wish I could see Susan's face. Your eyes are 263 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:01,079 Speaker 2: bugging out of her for you, because Susan lives like 264 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:03,520 Speaker 2: a meat nick Anonymous, you do not want to be 265 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:08,280 Speaker 2: anywhere near Susan. Okay, so everything's overflowing garbage. I can't 266 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:11,920 Speaker 2: stand it, says Anonymous. I start cleaning up right away, 267 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:14,640 Speaker 2: but I'm resentful that I have to stay in that 268 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:18,000 Speaker 2: environment all day. It would be hard to take them 269 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,480 Speaker 2: to my house, as my one grandchild has to go 270 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:24,200 Speaker 2: to school nearby and be picked up. Plus all their 271 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:27,640 Speaker 2: inside and outside toys are there. My daughter and I 272 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:31,560 Speaker 2: end up fighting every time. She has a very busy life, 273 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:34,960 Speaker 2: as does her husband. They both work long hours, and 274 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:38,640 Speaker 2: I get there is limited time to clean, but when 275 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:41,360 Speaker 2: the weekends come, they go out all weekend and do 276 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:44,040 Speaker 2: nothing do I just stay quiet and suck it up. 277 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:46,520 Speaker 2: It's the only thing we fight about, Susan. I got 278 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:49,920 Speaker 2: to jump in here. This is the easiest, easiest thing 279 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 2: to answer, Anonymous. You have two choices. One is keep 280 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,319 Speaker 2: doing what you've been doing. You're going to keep getting 281 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:05,600 Speaker 2: what you've been getting. The other option is to say, 282 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:10,280 Speaker 2: lovely daughter, who I adore. I can't do this. It 283 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:13,760 Speaker 2: causes me stress. I love my grandchildren, but you either 284 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:17,760 Speaker 2: have to hire a housekeeper or something, because I can't 285 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:20,640 Speaker 2: come here anymore. So I'm giving you a month's notice 286 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:24,600 Speaker 2: that you either have to find other childcare or get 287 00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:27,080 Speaker 2: somebody here to clean this house. Because while you're working 288 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:31,400 Speaker 2: all day in a sterile, clean environment, I'm here trying 289 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,400 Speaker 2: to clean up the mess that is your house. And 290 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:34,960 Speaker 2: if you don't think I would say it, Susan, you 291 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:35,560 Speaker 2: know I would. 292 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,280 Speaker 1: No, I know you would. I don't tell it for 293 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:39,960 Speaker 1: a second. And I am a little bit feeling the 294 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:42,640 Speaker 1: same way. I would definitely hire somebody. When I read 295 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:46,280 Speaker 1: that she watches them four days a week, it occurs 296 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:49,280 Speaker 1: to me that maybe because of finances they can't hire 297 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:50,720 Speaker 1: a professional. 298 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:52,200 Speaker 3: They want mom to do it. 299 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:56,680 Speaker 1: And if that's the case, I can really because the weekends, 300 00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:58,440 Speaker 1: come there out all weekend. 301 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:02,960 Speaker 3: And spend time with their family, you know what I mean? 302 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:05,640 Speaker 1: Maybe that's why I get what she trust me, you 303 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:09,000 Speaker 1: know me, Kathy, I was having issues from the first sentence, 304 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:09,800 Speaker 1: I really get it. 305 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:13,840 Speaker 2: I'm sorry. If they're out partying all weekend, stay home 306 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,280 Speaker 2: one night and hire a housekeeper. 307 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:18,040 Speaker 3: I know, but we can't tell them what to do. 308 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:21,560 Speaker 2: Then, if that's what I just said, she has two choices. 309 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:25,640 Speaker 2: One you give them a month to get their act together, 310 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:28,160 Speaker 2: get the house clean and say it's got to be 311 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:31,640 Speaker 2: kept clean. Or you tell them to hire someone. What 312 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,720 Speaker 2: you The third choice is not a choice. You you 313 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:37,200 Speaker 2: keep living in that mess. I wouldn't do it. You 314 00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:38,400 Speaker 2: wouldn't either for me. 315 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:41,680 Speaker 1: She says, all their toys inside and out are there, 316 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:44,800 Speaker 1: and the child goes to school. When the child's at school, 317 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:46,160 Speaker 1: that's when you're cleaning up. 318 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,320 Speaker 3: I think that's part of it. I would do the. 319 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:51,640 Speaker 1: Same exact thing, or get some toys for your home, 320 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:55,120 Speaker 1: inside and out. How far does she live from them 321 00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:58,440 Speaker 1: to go pick them up, or have your children, your 322 00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:01,400 Speaker 1: daughter drop her kids off to you in the morning. 323 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:05,640 Speaker 1: I mean, and that could be the reason when she explains, 324 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,120 Speaker 1: I can't live like that. I can't stay in your house. 325 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:11,200 Speaker 1: It's a total disaster. I'm not telling you how to live, 326 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:13,640 Speaker 1: but I don't approve, and it makes me crazy. 327 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,920 Speaker 2: Well, I agree with all that, but when here, you know, 328 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:19,920 Speaker 2: I don't know. Maybe I had too much vacation in Greece, 329 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:24,080 Speaker 2: but I feel like this is not your daughter's problem. 330 00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:28,840 Speaker 2: This is your problem, Anonymous. Don't make her problems your problems. 331 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:31,760 Speaker 3: If the house, she says, they fight. Every time, you're 332 00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:34,520 Speaker 3: fighting over the same thing. It's not going to change. 333 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,200 Speaker 2: That's what I said. If you keep doing what you've 334 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:38,040 Speaker 2: been doing, you keep getting what you've been getting. 335 00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:41,240 Speaker 1: So that's a toleration of insanity. They say, if you 336 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:43,800 Speaker 1: keep doing the same thing over and over, you expect 337 00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:44,840 Speaker 1: a different result. 338 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:48,040 Speaker 2: Okay, So I know, Anonymous, when you hear this, you're 339 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:51,080 Speaker 2: going to say. Easy for you guys to say, Oh, 340 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:53,600 Speaker 2: I can assure you both Susan and I have said 341 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:57,680 Speaker 2: no to our children on babysitting, and I got to 342 00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:00,400 Speaker 2: be honest with you. I love my grandchildren, Anonymous, I 343 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:03,160 Speaker 2: wouldn't do it four days a week now. That tells 344 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:05,040 Speaker 2: me you need to get yourself a life. And I 345 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:09,280 Speaker 2: realized that's maybe unfair. But you know, you can't complain 346 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:12,879 Speaker 2: about something you're doing. You're choosing to do. You can't 347 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:16,359 Speaker 2: be resentful if you're choosing. Is that right? Do you agree? Yes? 348 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:18,840 Speaker 2: If you're choosing to do it, you can't be resentful. 349 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:21,120 Speaker 2: Make a different choice, Anonymous, and have. 350 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,359 Speaker 3: A sit down with your daughter. 351 00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:25,720 Speaker 1: Don't fight with her every week because it'll strain the relationship. 352 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:27,639 Speaker 2: But when you say have a sit down, what's the 353 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:28,160 Speaker 2: sit down? 354 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,480 Speaker 3: Say, honey, I can't live like this. I can't come 355 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:32,280 Speaker 3: here and clean your house. I bet you. The daughter 356 00:17:32,359 --> 00:17:34,879 Speaker 3: turns and says, I'm not expecting you to clean it. 357 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,880 Speaker 2: Your point, she's not comfortable being in it. 358 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:41,080 Speaker 3: Yes, it's it's her compared to that. 359 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:44,680 Speaker 2: That's why it's anonymous problem. Anonymous. You need to say 360 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:48,280 Speaker 2: I love you, but I can't do this anymore. I'll 361 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:51,399 Speaker 2: have the kids one day at my house, or you 362 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:55,280 Speaker 2: need to hire a housekeeper. Something has to change, Anonymous. 363 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:58,400 Speaker 2: I guess as Susan's in my point here, would you agree? Yes? 364 00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:00,400 Speaker 3: Good luck though it's a tough one. 365 00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:03,960 Speaker 2: And if nothing else works, I'll give you Susan's phone numbers. 366 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:07,600 Speaker 2: She cleans like no other. That place will be spanning about. Oh, 367 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:09,960 Speaker 2: give her two hours. Did not eat off the floors 368 00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:10,760 Speaker 2: the story. 369 00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:12,879 Speaker 1: I went over to my son's house and his wife 370 00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:16,879 Speaker 1: and the baby, and I thought i'd be helpful. The 371 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,960 Speaker 1: piles of laundry up in the room. It was like 372 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:23,639 Speaker 1: I started at seven thirty in the morning. I must 373 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:27,760 Speaker 1: have did nine loads of laundry, folded ready to be 374 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:28,280 Speaker 1: put away. 375 00:18:28,359 --> 00:18:31,000 Speaker 2: Wait where were way back up? Where was the laundry 376 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:31,760 Speaker 2: dirty or clean? 377 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:36,320 Speaker 1: Well, it looked like piles of dirty laundry in their bedroom. 378 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,359 Speaker 1: And Stella and I were upstairs and we got her 379 00:18:39,359 --> 00:18:40,640 Speaker 1: mommy's blow dryer when I. 380 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:42,080 Speaker 3: Gave her a bath. Blah blah blah blah blah. 381 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:45,160 Speaker 1: Anyhow, I go, let me help them, because they both 382 00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:48,640 Speaker 1: work full time. It's long hours, right, I do all 383 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:50,960 Speaker 1: this laundry. They come home and she was like, oh 384 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,359 Speaker 1: my god, I can't believe you did all that for me. 385 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,440 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I really And the baby was young. 386 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:57,520 Speaker 1: It was the first time, Mommy, you know, I get it. 387 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:03,680 Speaker 1: And Christopher says, mom, those three piles right there, they're clean. 388 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:07,000 Speaker 2: I Susan, I knew where you were going to win. Kyle, 389 00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:12,159 Speaker 2: who's if you all forgot? Susan officiated his wedding a 390 00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:16,119 Speaker 2: year and a half ago, so Susan knows Kyle. Kyle 391 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,720 Speaker 2: went before he was married, he lived in an apartment 392 00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:22,040 Speaker 2: and he was moving and my sister from Canada. Susan, 393 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:24,840 Speaker 2: my sister is also Susan. Susan came to visit and 394 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:27,560 Speaker 2: we went over to Kyle's apartment to drop off some 395 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,320 Speaker 2: boxes because he was moving. And we walked in. I 396 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:34,000 Speaker 2: swear to God, I said, was there a robber in here? 397 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:38,760 Speaker 2: Like everything closed on the kitchen table, under the kitchen table. 398 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:42,199 Speaker 2: My sister was like, Holy God, does he live here? 399 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,280 Speaker 2: I said, I'm not sure. He may have been robbed. 400 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:47,239 Speaker 2: So I call him up and sure enough, that's how 401 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:51,040 Speaker 2: we lived. And I said, Kyle, there are clothes in 402 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:53,800 Speaker 2: the laundry basket on the table under the tablecos Mom, 403 00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:57,960 Speaker 2: it's easy, I said, what's easy? He goes the clothes, 404 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,520 Speaker 2: You're gonna die. You should give Kyle hard time about this. 405 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:04,359 Speaker 2: The clothes on the kitchen table, you understandile you couldn't 406 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:07,639 Speaker 2: see the table are all clean. The ones under the 407 00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:10,720 Speaker 2: table are dirty. So when I wear them, I just 408 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:14,359 Speaker 2: throw them under the table. I swear to God. Now 409 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:18,120 Speaker 2: he is married. Now his house it looks like yours. 410 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:21,119 Speaker 2: His wife has got his act together? Is that hysterical? 411 00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:24,359 Speaker 1: I could never Oh, and my boys when they were 412 00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:26,520 Speaker 1: growing up, I would teach my children. I'd do the 413 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,600 Speaker 1: laundry for them, of course, And I'd say, all you 414 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,280 Speaker 1: have to do is put it away, and they did. 415 00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:33,119 Speaker 3: It's so easy. I could just grab it out of 416 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:36,360 Speaker 3: the basket. No, that's a thing. 417 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,920 Speaker 2: Do you know there are people that don't mind doing 418 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,120 Speaker 2: laundry and folding, but they don't want to put it away. 419 00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:44,880 Speaker 2: I'm like, that's the easiest part. It's it's the sorting 420 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,440 Speaker 2: the laundry, putting in the bleach, putting. 421 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,200 Speaker 1: You ask me for something, I could tell you exactly. 422 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:52,760 Speaker 1: Go to the third drawer on the right. I can 423 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:53,600 Speaker 1: test you this. 424 00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:56,680 Speaker 2: I literally will say this Susan when I met our house, Hey, 425 00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:58,800 Speaker 2: can I borrow a pair of running shorts to go 426 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:01,560 Speaker 2: out and walk? Yes? In the guest room. Go into 427 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:04,560 Speaker 2: the third drawer on the right. Behind the black box 428 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:06,960 Speaker 2: are three pairs. I swear to god, she's not lying. 429 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:10,600 Speaker 1: It's same with the eyeliner. Somebody needs top drawer centered, 430 00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:11,800 Speaker 1: not on the other side. 431 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,760 Speaker 2: Third row back the third because the first two rows 432 00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:17,880 Speaker 2: are black and then brown the third six. 433 00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:22,760 Speaker 3: Okay, all right, anyhow, Oh my god, that was Those. 434 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:24,960 Speaker 2: Are good good Hey Anonymous, good luck with your daughter. 435 00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:26,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, you gotta be real. 436 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:30,200 Speaker 1: If it's really stressful. Then some people can turn the 437 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:34,639 Speaker 1: other cheek. I admire people like this, Kathy. Some people 438 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:37,800 Speaker 1: can roll and not let it bother. It's not their problem. 439 00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:40,679 Speaker 3: They just do what they do. I can't do that. 440 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:47,600 Speaker 1: I wasn't built that way. 441 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,840 Speaker 2: I have one more quick straight before we move on 442 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:55,720 Speaker 2: to our our last Golden Spotlight segment. When we were 443 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:58,479 Speaker 2: on the cruise, I swear to God, people, I'm not joking. 444 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:02,399 Speaker 2: You walked into Susan's room. I was like, is anyone 445 00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:03,240 Speaker 2: say every day? 446 00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:03,840 Speaker 3: She said? 447 00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:06,879 Speaker 2: Every day you'd walk into a room. There was nothing 448 00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:08,760 Speaker 2: in sight. It was like, Susan, are you sleeping here? 449 00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:09,239 Speaker 3: Like? 450 00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:13,480 Speaker 2: Everything is packed in neat, tidy bags, in drawers, in 451 00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:18,000 Speaker 2: put away. Ever put it away. That's Susan's You know, 452 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:21,000 Speaker 2: what are your tombstone? Sus And I'm going to tell 453 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,760 Speaker 2: your children Susan knowles. 454 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:28,240 Speaker 3: She always put it away, always put it away. Everything 455 00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:28,800 Speaker 3: has a home. 456 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:30,960 Speaker 2: Oh that's right, everything has a home. All right, let's 457 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:31,640 Speaker 2: move on there. 458 00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,760 Speaker 3: Okay, Now we're going to be doing a Golden Spotlight 459 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:39,600 Speaker 3: where we discuss something that is impacting the Golden community. 460 00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:45,800 Speaker 3: Today's Golden Spotlight is all about life in an empty nest. 461 00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:49,800 Speaker 3: What is the transition like going from having kids in 462 00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:52,720 Speaker 3: the house and being a full time parent to when 463 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:56,440 Speaker 3: your children have their own lives and families. What are 464 00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:59,200 Speaker 3: the pros and cons and how did you get through 465 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:02,240 Speaker 3: that tree? Oh my god. 466 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:08,040 Speaker 1: Most people have tears and it's really hard. I did 467 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:10,080 Speaker 1: cry when the first day, you know what I mean. 468 00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:13,359 Speaker 1: But I was like, yes, everything's going to be neat 469 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:15,920 Speaker 1: like I leave it. When I come home, it's exactly 470 00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:19,560 Speaker 1: like I left it. You do miss them, but when 471 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:23,000 Speaker 1: they come back and stay for a couple of days, 472 00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:27,520 Speaker 1: I go insane because as much as I spend time 473 00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:31,320 Speaker 1: with them, stuff all over the place. So some people 474 00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:35,800 Speaker 1: really really have a hard time. And I personally think 475 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:41,040 Speaker 1: that they devoted their lives totally one hundred percent, as 476 00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:43,359 Speaker 1: we all do to our children. But I kept my 477 00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:49,040 Speaker 1: own life. Yes, I kept things for me as well, 478 00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:54,320 Speaker 1: and they didn't. They lost friends or hobbies or whatever. 479 00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:56,320 Speaker 1: Everything was about their children. 480 00:23:56,720 --> 00:24:00,280 Speaker 2: So I'm in the middle there. I had hobbies and friends, 481 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:03,480 Speaker 2: but I and I worked on and off, but I 482 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:05,840 Speaker 2: raised my kids. And this is a very true story. 483 00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:10,240 Speaker 2: We were living in Austin by the time Caitlyn went 484 00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:14,520 Speaker 2: to college, and we had bought a big family house 485 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:19,359 Speaker 2: and upstairs everyone there were three bedrooms, three bathrooms, and 486 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:21,639 Speaker 2: a playroom and now our bedroom and the rest of 487 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,640 Speaker 2: the living was downstairs, and we had a pool. And 488 00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:27,639 Speaker 2: I remember when we bought this house, I said to Darryl, 489 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:31,359 Speaker 2: to my husband, this is going to be our family home. 490 00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:34,440 Speaker 2: This is where everybody's going to come back and bring 491 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:36,880 Speaker 2: their grandchildren. This is going to be like the family 492 00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:40,720 Speaker 2: gathering place. When Caitlyn went off to college, I remember 493 00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:44,080 Speaker 2: Daryl came home from work every night. I was sitting crying. 494 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:48,040 Speaker 2: He's like, what's wrong. I said, it's so lonely upstairs. 495 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:50,040 Speaker 2: They're all gone. I mean, I couldn't stand it. I 496 00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:52,440 Speaker 2: would go from room to room crying because they were 497 00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:54,640 Speaker 2: gone and I missed them so much. Can I tell 498 00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:56,400 Speaker 2: you we sold that house? Oh, I don't know. About 499 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,560 Speaker 2: three months later, he goes, I can't take it anymore 500 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,040 Speaker 2: because I I realized they weren't going to come back. 501 00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:05,520 Speaker 2: My oldest son was living in Michigan, and then. 502 00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:09,400 Speaker 3: He went to college. She was coming back, no Caitlyn. 503 00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:12,240 Speaker 2: When Kaitlyn graduated from high school, she went to college 504 00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:15,760 Speaker 2: in California. Then she lived overseas for a while. Then 505 00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:18,440 Speaker 2: she lived in San Francisco, then she lived in New York. 506 00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:20,600 Speaker 2: And I've told you this when she called and then 507 00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:24,000 Speaker 2: she went to grad school in Boston, And when she 508 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:26,360 Speaker 2: ever called us and said she was moving back to Austin, 509 00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:30,280 Speaker 2: I almost fell over. Kyle came home. He came home 510 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:34,720 Speaker 2: after college. Douglas has never lived back in Austin. He 511 00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:38,000 Speaker 2: hates the heat, and Caitlyn took her like fifteen years 512 00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:40,760 Speaker 2: to come back. So for me, the transition, I will 513 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:44,320 Speaker 2: be very honest, was very difficult. I loved I cried 514 00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:46,080 Speaker 2: at the end of the summer when my kids went 515 00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:48,960 Speaker 2: to school. My friends used to call me Captain Kangaroo 516 00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:50,919 Speaker 2: for those of you who are old enough to know 517 00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:54,479 Speaker 2: who Captain Kangaroo is. I loved being with my kids 518 00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:57,600 Speaker 2: and taking him to the park and museums and reading 519 00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:01,560 Speaker 2: to them. I just I loved it. So for me, 520 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:06,840 Speaker 2: being an empty nester originally was very difficult. Now fast forward, 521 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:10,400 Speaker 2: because my youngest child is thirty eight, I freaking love it. 522 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:12,680 Speaker 2: I love it. 523 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:14,919 Speaker 3: When you moved that it got better. 524 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:17,760 Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh, and in fact, I live in the same 525 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:20,679 Speaker 2: home now that Daryl and I moved to when we 526 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:21,600 Speaker 2: sold that big house. 527 00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:23,760 Speaker 3: And I love it and kids never lived there. They 528 00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:25,240 Speaker 3: come and stay, period. 529 00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:27,800 Speaker 2: They come and stay. One of the room's upstairs. I 530 00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,080 Speaker 2: used to call it Caitlin's room because she did live 531 00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,439 Speaker 2: in it for a while after college, between before she 532 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:36,439 Speaker 2: moved to Dallas and then back to San Francisco. But yeah, no, 533 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:41,240 Speaker 2: I just think it's like anything else in life. Transitions 534 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:45,560 Speaker 2: are just that, their transitions, and it takes time to adapt, 535 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:49,840 Speaker 2: to create new arteries, if you will, for your life, 536 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:53,439 Speaker 2: new interests, because now you have the time, you know, 537 00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:56,639 Speaker 2: to put yourself first, and that is the biggest pro 538 00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:57,600 Speaker 2: I think. 539 00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:00,320 Speaker 3: And redecorate the room and take over the closet. 540 00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:03,120 Speaker 2: And Susan, yeah, I mean you get to do things 541 00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:05,760 Speaker 2: for you and your spouse or your partner or your 542 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,760 Speaker 2: girlfriend or whoever it is you or yourself. You get 543 00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:11,520 Speaker 2: to do some things you haven't had time to. And 544 00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:14,600 Speaker 2: then when grandchildren come along, you know, that's a whole 545 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:17,000 Speaker 2: other fabulous sam layer. 546 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,320 Speaker 3: Don't you agree, Kathy. 547 00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:20,680 Speaker 1: One the kids get their place, you're over there a lot, 548 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,280 Speaker 1: and you're helping them decorate, and you're helping them get 549 00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:25,679 Speaker 1: new things for the bathroom and all that stuff. It's 550 00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:28,600 Speaker 1: kind of exciting because it is starting a life. 551 00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:31,399 Speaker 2: It's so funny you said that when I had the 552 00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:34,879 Speaker 2: big house. I love decorating it. I really did buying 553 00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:38,399 Speaker 2: things for it. Now my daughter comes over and says, Mom, 554 00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:42,520 Speaker 2: I really like that mirror. Take it. It's your furnishings 555 00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:44,960 Speaker 2: and things to my kids because they like it. They're 556 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,639 Speaker 2: in a building mode. You and I are in a 557 00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:52,760 Speaker 2: do we really need this anymore? Mode? Right? That's how 558 00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:55,399 Speaker 2: it is, her one way this mode. Yes, yeah, so 559 00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:57,440 Speaker 2: I think that's the pros. You get to do things 560 00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:00,640 Speaker 2: for yourself and your spouse or your partner. You get 561 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:03,080 Speaker 2: to create new interest, travel, do all the things you 562 00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:07,000 Speaker 2: kind of put off. The cons are. It's a new 563 00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:09,879 Speaker 2: stage of life and you have to say goodbye, you know, 564 00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:12,600 Speaker 2: to that stage of raising kids. And for some people 565 00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:14,520 Speaker 2: that's harder than it is for others. 566 00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:17,200 Speaker 3: It is, it is, but it's all part of life. 567 00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:19,879 Speaker 2: It's all part of life. And now you know, I 568 00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:21,560 Speaker 2: wouldn't want to go back with you. 569 00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:27,639 Speaker 1: No, No, that's why young people have babies. 570 00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:31,560 Speaker 2: That's why we have grandchildren, so we can spoil them 571 00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:32,160 Speaker 2: and send them off. 572 00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:36,120 Speaker 1: Absolutely. I had a huge party here yesterday. Instell of God. 573 00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:40,160 Speaker 1: The things she says at our mouth she's so funny. 574 00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:41,920 Speaker 2: But they're funny, but you know, might be. 575 00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:45,920 Speaker 1: And she's just having the time of her life. And 576 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,200 Speaker 1: when it was all over, there was a huge mess. 577 00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:49,520 Speaker 1: We cooked on the grill of it. 578 00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:52,000 Speaker 3: I don't care, don't you don't have to help me 579 00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:54,000 Speaker 3: clean up. It's all good. 580 00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:57,840 Speaker 2: And I guarantee you, folks, if students in Philly and 581 00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:00,440 Speaker 2: I'm in Austin, but I will bet you you the 582 00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:03,440 Speaker 2: bottom dollar in my bank account, that if I went 583 00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:06,800 Speaker 2: to Susan's house right now, you would never know that 584 00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:08,320 Speaker 2: her family was there yesterday. 585 00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:10,960 Speaker 3: You could have came last night. I don't go to 586 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:11,600 Speaker 3: bed with it. 587 00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:17,680 Speaker 2: Oh God, All right, Well, this has been so so 588 00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:20,440 Speaker 2: much fun. We want to thank you all for listening. 589 00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:23,120 Speaker 2: Today we're going to be back again talking more about 590 00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:27,960 Speaker 2: our crews, talking more about Susan has a special visitor 591 00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:30,240 Speaker 2: at her home. We might want to talk about it. 592 00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:31,280 Speaker 3: Company. 593 00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:34,200 Speaker 1: Make sure you keep following us and follow them from 594 00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:37,680 Speaker 1: Bachelor Happy Hour, as we have new episodes coming out 595 00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:39,680 Speaker 1: every week and you don't want to miss I mean, 596 00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:40,600 Speaker 1: the things that. 597 00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:43,000 Speaker 3: We've experienced just in the last few weeks. 598 00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:47,120 Speaker 2: We want you to submit all your questions and comments 599 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:49,080 Speaker 2: to us. We want to know if you have friends 600 00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:52,680 Speaker 2: and Holland husbands to travel with, because we fully agree 601 00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:55,440 Speaker 2: it is the best anyway. All you have to do 602 00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:58,920 Speaker 2: to reach out to us is go to bachelornation dot com, 603 00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:02,720 Speaker 2: slash Golden Hour, or d m us on Instagram at 604 00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:05,360 Speaker 2: Bachelor Happy Hour. We really do want to hear from you. 605 00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:09,800 Speaker 1: Absolutely listen to our Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on 606 00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:13,720 Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app for wherever you listen to your podcast. 607 00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:15,320 Speaker 3: Until next time, we have 608 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:16,280 Speaker 2: A great week.