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Speaker 1: Hi.

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Speaker 2: Hi. Wow, Uh, yep, Hi, what's up?

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Speaker 1: What's your name?

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Speaker 2: Uh?

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Speaker 3: Shae?

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Speaker 1: Shae? What's happening in Shane?

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Speaker 3: Uh? Not much. I mean, I want to start out

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Speaker 3: by saying, I really appreciate what.

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Speaker 2: You do for people.

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Speaker 1: Really, man, Thanks man. I'm trying my best. I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to you know, I don't know. Uh, It's it's nice

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Speaker 1: to be able to do a podcast. It's nice to

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Speaker 1: be able to do a podcast.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Well, what's up with you, Shae?

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Speaker 3: Well, I'm going through some stuff right now, and I

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Speaker 3: guess I'm looking for some advice. I feel like I'm

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Speaker 3: kind of dropped in my relationship right now, and I

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Speaker 3: feel like there's not much I can do about it.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Well, I'll tell you what I've you know, been

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Speaker 1: saying for a while, which is that I don't know

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Speaker 1: if I'll always have advice. I think if anyone, I

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Speaker 1: think anyone who always has advice for everything is not

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Speaker 1: to be trusted. But I'll gladly pond. I'll gladly ponder

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Speaker 1: the situation with you. Why do you feel like you're

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Speaker 1: trapped in your relationship?

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Speaker 3: Well, him and I have been together for almost two

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Speaker 3: years now, and about a year in we decided to

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Speaker 3: move to a whole different state across the country to

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Speaker 3: live with my parents so we could save up some

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Speaker 3: money to get a house. But now that we are here,

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Speaker 3: I'm kind of coming to realize that I feel like

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Speaker 3: more of a parent than I do a partner. And yeah,

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Speaker 3: so like simple things like having to remind him to

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Speaker 3: go to the doctor and to clean up after him

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Speaker 3: and laundry and all the stuff that I feel like

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Speaker 3: we should be doing together, and there's just kind of nothing.

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Speaker 3: And I have communicated this with him, I communicate everything

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Speaker 3: that I feel, but it just doesn't get through.

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Speaker 2: And now that we're all.

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Speaker 3: The way over here, I don't exactly have any plan

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Speaker 3: if things were to end, If that make sense.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, so let me get a few things straight here.

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Speaker 1: So well, when you say you don't have any plans

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Speaker 1: if things were to end, do you work or are

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Speaker 1: you guys in a thing where like he works or

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Speaker 1: neither of you works, or like, what's the kind of

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Speaker 1: like financial arrangement.

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Speaker 3: When we moved, I wasn't able to transfer my job

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Speaker 3: from here, but he was so has been consistently looking

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Speaker 3: for work, but I am unemployed.

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Speaker 2: I make some money online.

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Speaker 3: But not much so in he's kind of ahead of

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Speaker 3: financials right now.

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Speaker 1: Okay, and you guys have been together for two.

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Speaker 2: Years almost two years.

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Speaker 1: Yes, And when you attempt to communicate with him, being like, hey,

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Speaker 1: you know, I thought we were going to do the

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Speaker 1: laundry together. I thought we were gonna clean up shit together,

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Speaker 1: what does he say?

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Speaker 3: Well, he says, I'm sorry. He says, my mom didn't

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Speaker 3: teach me how to do these things. He says, so

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Speaker 3: get better. He maybe does one thing the following week,

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Speaker 3: and then he thinks that like, doing that singular thing

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Speaker 3: has changed him so much and he's so much better now,

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Speaker 3: you know, But then nothing else happens.

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Speaker 2: I remind him again, I.

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Speaker 1: Have another question. Well, you said you feel trapped, Like,

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Speaker 1: on a scale from one to ten, how badly do

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Speaker 1: you actually want to make this work?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 1: Like, how badly do you want to make it work?

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Speaker 3: I'm like got a solid live oh right in the middle.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you said, pretty pretty evenly, it's pretty.

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Speaker 3: Pretty even Yeah, because you know I love them, but

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Speaker 3: also I don't necessarily want to be taking care of

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Speaker 3: another person for the rest of my life, especially if

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Speaker 3: we plan on having a kid.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Well, also the fact that you even said, the fact

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Speaker 1: that you even framed this as I'm trapped, and I

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Speaker 1: don't know if that's just the way that you do.

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Speaker 1: The fact that you even like the fact that that's

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Speaker 1: the way that you naturally described the situation is not

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Speaker 1: a great sign no, because you didn't I have a

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Speaker 1: problem with my significant other. He's doing this. You said,

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Speaker 1: I'm trapped in a relationship that's a bad outside.

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Speaker 3: I think the reason why I use the term trapped

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Speaker 3: is because, so, like I had mentioned, we live with

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Speaker 3: my parents here and between the both of us we

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Speaker 3: share a car. It's the car is technically mine, but

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Speaker 3: he uses a car for work because he's the one

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Speaker 3: that makes the money. So while he's at work all day,

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Speaker 3: I am stuck here and I don't have any freedom

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Speaker 3: to go and make friends or go socialize with anything

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Speaker 3: like that. So I think that's why I use the

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Speaker 3: term trap. But I think I probably used it incorrectly

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Speaker 3: to describe the relationship.

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Speaker 1: If that makes sense, Well, you are describing a relationship

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Speaker 1: in which you are describing a relationship in which you

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Speaker 1: are relating upon your partner's financial resources right to exist correct.

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Speaker 3: Exactly, which is another issue of if I leave, I

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Speaker 3: leave my health insurance.

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Speaker 1: Right, but you don't want to be with your husband

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Speaker 1: for his health insurance.

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Speaker 3: I do not want to be with my boyfriend for

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Speaker 3: his health insurance.

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Speaker 1: Now, yeah, do you well, let me ask you that,

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Speaker 1: do you have well, what's your family situation? Like, do

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Speaker 1: you have savings or a family that you can kind

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Speaker 1: of fall back on.

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Speaker 3: We kind of put our savings together for putting a

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Speaker 3: down payment on a house.

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Speaker 1: Oh, okay, you guys are really in it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we're we're trying. But now I'm kind of having

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Speaker 3: second guesses with this full you know, being a grown.

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Speaker 1: Up man when you say that you put your savings, like,

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Speaker 1: did you guys put it down payment on a house

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Speaker 1: or where?

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Speaker 3: Like?

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Speaker 1: Where are those savings?

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Speaker 3: It is in a savings account that he recently just

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Speaker 3: started putting things into again, because I recently found out

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Speaker 3: that he wasn't putting his half of savings in that account.

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Speaker 1: He wasn't putting his half of savings in that account.

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Speaker 3: So we had made a deal that when we moved here,

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Speaker 3: he would be putting a good chunk of every paycheck

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Speaker 3: into that savings account. And we found out about two

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Speaker 3: months ago or sorry, two weeks ago that he was

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Speaker 3: not actually putting anything in there, and he was using

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Speaker 3: that money to chip away at his own debt.

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Speaker 1: Did you know he had debt when you guys intertwined

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Speaker 1: your finances.

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Speaker 3: I was aware of student loans, but I wasn't aware

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Speaker 3: of he took out. I don't know. I think it's

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Speaker 3: called like a predatory loan something, and I wasn't aware

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Speaker 3: of how urgently that was to be paid back. Okay,

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Speaker 3: so it's a lot, I know.

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Speaker 1: Well, yeah, that's well, you know what a few things is.

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Speaker 1: You know, the concept of like I think all of

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Speaker 1: this is like, this is just my opinion, you know,

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Speaker 1: I don't. I've been talking to you for nine minutes,

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Speaker 1: but you have said that you love your husband. But

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Speaker 1: it does feel like a lot of the drivers of

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Speaker 1: this relationship are purely obligation. They're less about love, They're

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Speaker 1: less about, you know, some kind of spiritual commitment. They're

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Speaker 1: less about, you know, working as a team or less

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Speaker 1: about you know, having a life that's better together than

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Speaker 1: a part, and more about obligation. Is that accurate when

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Speaker 1: you look at your gut, you.

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Speaker 3: Know it definitely there's definitely a portion that feels like

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Speaker 3: that you know, it feels like there's less time investing

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Speaker 3: in affection and romance and just like you know, the

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Speaker 3: typical things in a relationship and more so on like

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Speaker 3: you said, it's like obligation.

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Speaker 1: So do you want to I mean, you know, the

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Speaker 1: babying him and the specifics of the laundry and whatnot.

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Speaker 1: I mean, do you want to be with this guy?

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Speaker 3: I don't know, Like you have that hope in you

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Speaker 3: that people will change the better for the room mental help,

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Speaker 3: but they don't. And I know that they don't.

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Speaker 2: I know, I know, so.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, I know.

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Speaker 1: It's I know you hope that you hope that people change.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes they do, by the way, you know, sometimes they do.

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Speaker 1: I know, I said they don't. But sometimes I know,

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Speaker 1: I said they don't. Sometimes they do, but I don't.

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Speaker 1: I I absolutely believe that people change, and I absolutely

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Speaker 1: believe the people evolve, and I believe the relationships evolve.

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Speaker 1: But they have to want to. And you also, like

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Speaker 1: don't want to be sitting there with your asshole out,

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Speaker 1: you know, waiting for the change to happen. So is

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Speaker 1: there any paperwork between you guys on all this financial

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Speaker 1: ship or it's all just hanging out.

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Speaker 3: It's all hanging out.

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Speaker 1: Do you have access to this savings account that has

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Speaker 1: your money in it?

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Speaker 2: I do?

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Speaker 1: Okay, and okay, so you have access to Okay, so

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Speaker 1: it's a joint account under both of you guys name

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Speaker 1: and you guys are not you guys aren't even married.

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Speaker 3: No, we are not married.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, so your assets, your assets are not really intertwined, right,

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Speaker 1: it's all just cast.

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Speaker 3: No, it's this. The financials are not the main thing

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Speaker 3: in jeopardy. They are a big factor into things.

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Speaker 2: But it's more like.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I'm losing my mind in this whole relationship,

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Speaker 3: and I'm not sure where. I'm not sure what my

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Speaker 3: next step is.

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Speaker 1: Well, you're looking for a job, right, I am, well,

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Speaker 1: because I guess the next step is is uh if

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Speaker 1: you well, there's a few next steps. I mean one

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Speaker 1: is there's two paths you can go down. One path

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Speaker 1: is to decide that you want to make it work.

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Speaker 1: I mean two years, two years, two years, two years

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Speaker 1: ain't that many years for my parents my parents were together?

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Speaker 3: Go ahead, God, no, sorry, I was just gonna say

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Speaker 3: for me, two years is is abit?

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Speaker 4: Uh?

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Speaker 3: I want to say this is probably my second longest

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Speaker 3: relationship twenty six.

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Speaker 1: You said you're twenty six. Yes, you're twenty six?

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 1: Really?

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Speaker 3: Well did you think I was?

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Speaker 1: I swear I thought you were like forty nine years old.

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Speaker 2: What?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I thought you're you're twenty you're twenty six years old? Yes,

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, leeah yeah. Leave, Oh my god, leave,

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Speaker 1: Oh my god. Leave, Oh my god, leave, leave leave, leave, leave, leave, leave, leave, leave,

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Speaker 1: leave leave leave. I thought you were like forty nine,

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Speaker 1: and you were like, look, it's either this guy or

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Speaker 1: I'm getting cats. No, you're leave. Please leave, Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, please leave. Jesus Christ, twenty six years old.

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Speaker 1: Let me tell you something. What's your name again? Such

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Speaker 1: with an S, say Shay Shay. My parents were together

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Speaker 1: for eleven years before they got divorced, and I think

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Speaker 1: they got divorced when they were My mom and my

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Speaker 1: dad got divorced when they were in their like the

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Speaker 1: late forties, mid to late forties, and now they're both

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Speaker 1: remarried to people that they're much happier with. They were

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Speaker 1: together eleven years and they were in their mid they were.

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Speaker 1: To imagine that eleven years in their late forties, You

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Speaker 1: guys have been together for two and you're twenty six.

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Speaker 1: Ye oh my god, No, you're not trapped in this

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Speaker 1: at all. Holy shit, and you have you're not even

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Speaker 1: there's no and you have access to the bank account

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Speaker 1: and you're not and you're not married. Correct, Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: you should. I I don't usually give a lot of

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Speaker 1: strong opinions on here, but you should totally leave for sure.

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Speaker 1: How old is this guy?

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Speaker 2: Okay, twenty four, he's twenty five.

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Speaker 1: Of course he'll this is he's he'll he'll be fine.

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Speaker 1: He'll be so f you'll both be so fine. He's

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Speaker 1: twenty five. That's nothing, because here's what happens, right, is

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Speaker 1: you leave this guy and then he learns. Maybe maybe if.

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Speaker 5: He's lucky, if he's the thing, if he's not a

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Speaker 5: total dumbass, he'll learn right, and he'll be like, Okay,

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Speaker 5: next time I get into a relationship with someone, I'm

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Speaker 5: gonna have my shit.

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Speaker 1: To god, I'm gonna make sure that when they tell

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Speaker 1: me these things, you know, he'll be sad for a while,

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Speaker 1: but he'll be fine. Both of you will be fucking

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Speaker 1: fine with this. Oh my god, I can't believe you're

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Speaker 1: literally I thought you were at least like.

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Speaker 3: Can I can I can I ask why you thought

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Speaker 3: I was that old.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. I don't know why

250
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Speaker 1: I thought you were that old. I maybe just imagined,

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Speaker 1: maybe just the the situation when you said you were trapped.

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, okay, I could see that if

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Speaker 1: you I could I could see feeling that way, if

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Speaker 1: you were like older more so than than younger.

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Speaker 3: Not so. So maybe I had just been viewing this

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Speaker 3: a much bigger situation than it actually was.

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Speaker 1: Well, no, not that. I mean it, look, everything's big

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Speaker 1: in relativity, right, So it's big to you. So this

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Speaker 1: is your first like you know, this is you haven't

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Speaker 1: had a relationship that's lasted this long. Two years feels

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Speaker 1: like a lot. So it's big to you. And that's

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Speaker 1: you know, that's a valid thing. But uh no, you

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Speaker 1: not trapped yet. You could be so much more trapped.

264
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Speaker 1: You could be you could be so much more trapped.

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Speaker 1: You have no idea. You're so not trapped. It's amazing.

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Speaker 1: All right, Yeah, here's the thing, right is uh and whatever? Again,

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Speaker 1: I've only known you for seventeen minutes. But the fact

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Speaker 1: that you're talking about that these these these are important

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Speaker 1: life decisions and you have a lot of time to

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Speaker 1: make them. And I think that one of the important

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Speaker 1: life decision. I think that who you're gonna be committed to,

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Speaker 1: it's an it's an important life decision. And I'm still

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Speaker 1: young too, and so I'm figuring all this shit out.

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Speaker 1: But these are important life decisions, and these are decisions

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Speaker 1: that you should feel really confident and strong about. So

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Speaker 1: if you're if you're in a relationship that you feel

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Speaker 1: obligated to or that you feel obligated to or trapped in.

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Speaker 1: I mean, that's such a strong way to talk about

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Speaker 1: this thing that's supposed to be a big part of

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Speaker 1: your life and you're and also like you seem like

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Speaker 1: you haven't really had much of an opportunity to like

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Speaker 1: develop yourself, right, I mean you are taking your You're

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Speaker 1: taking your like your money is now your guys's money.

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Speaker 1: Like you sound like you don't have like money of

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Speaker 1: your own that's yours. Like you don't have a job

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00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,800
Speaker 1: of your own that's yours. Like you know, you don't

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00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,040
Speaker 1: have to do that, like we this isn't like the

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Speaker 1: fucking nineteen you know, fucking twenties or whatever. You don't

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Speaker 1: have to do that, Like you can develop your own shit.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to. You don't need to do a

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Speaker 1: guy's laundry to survive on your own.

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Speaker 3: And totally beforehand, I had, you know, my own self established.

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Speaker 3: You know, I had my job in my car and

294
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Speaker 3: doing whatever I you know, whatever made me happy and

295
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:05,440
Speaker 3: not cleaning up after another person. It's you know, if

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Speaker 3: I could do that one like in definitely do that again.

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Speaker 1: Oh you can a one hundred percent do that again.

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Speaker 1: I can't believe. I literally I thought you were like

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Speaker 1: fifty nine years old and this was like your last chance. No,

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Speaker 1: oh my god.

301
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Speaker 2: No.

302
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Speaker 1: Here's what I would do is is like you should go.

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00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:29,159
Speaker 1: You should. If I were you, I would take a

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Speaker 1: break and be like and it'd be like, I gotta

305
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:35,600
Speaker 1: get myself right, I gotta get my I need my money,

306
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,320
Speaker 1: I need my car, I need my health insurance, I

307
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:41,440
Speaker 1: need my job, I need my life. And then and

308
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:46,159
Speaker 1: then once you have your own life together, be really,

309
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,760
Speaker 1: really really careful. I don't Maybe maybe this guy learns

310
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Speaker 1: his lesson and he gets back to himself, and maybe

311
00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:56,359
Speaker 1: you guys are separated for a little bit and you're like, Okay,

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00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:58,399
Speaker 1: I'll give it another chance. But if I'm going, if

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Speaker 1: we're going back into this. We're going in. I got

314
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Speaker 1: my own ship, You got your own ship, and we're

315
00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:09,480
Speaker 1: gonna slowly, you know, weave our lives together a little bit,

316
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Speaker 1: but we're gonna do it. We're gonna do it really carefully,

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Speaker 1: and we're gonna do it really intentionally, and we're gonna

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Speaker 1: make sure that neither of us feels like we're getting shifted.

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Speaker 1: Because you're feeling like you're getting shifted. Your husband's out

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00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:23,560
Speaker 1: there with the car and you're feeling like you're you're shifted.

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Speaker 1: You don't have your own ship, you don't have your

322
00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:28,200
Speaker 1: own life. You you have to ask for permission from

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00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:31,720
Speaker 1: this other fucking guy who and he's not supposed to

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00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,200
Speaker 1: be the guardian of your assets. He's supposed to be

325
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:39,520
Speaker 1: your partner, you know. And so you got to do

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Speaker 1: it again. And you're so unbelievably not trapped. It's it's honestly,

327
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Speaker 1: I mean, everything's relative. So it's a big to you

328
00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:50,760
Speaker 1: because it's the longest thing you've been in, so it's relative,

329
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:54,200
Speaker 1: but sure you're you're not trapped at all. You have

330
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:59,639
Speaker 1: the complete freedom, obligation, opportunity to be like, hey, I

331
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:01,720
Speaker 1: think I made a little and this is life is

332
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:06,240
Speaker 1: just error correction. So it's okay, it's something shameful in

333
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:08,000
Speaker 1: being like, you know what, I made a bit of

334
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:13,200
Speaker 1: a misstep going too hard in this Uh too fast.

335
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:16,879
Speaker 1: Let me tracked a little bit. I do you have

336
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:18,119
Speaker 1: parents you can move back in with.

337
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,199
Speaker 3: That's where we're living. We're living with my parents right now.

338
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,320
Speaker 1: Oh wait, wait, hold on, I'm sorry. I'm an idiot.

339
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:26,720
Speaker 1: I thought you guys. I thought you guys were living

340
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Speaker 1: with his parents.

341
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Speaker 2: No no, no, no, no, no never, no.

342
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,080
Speaker 6: No, we were staying with my parents.

343
00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:37,520
Speaker 1: I'm an idiot. Oh my god, you guys are living

344
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:38,439
Speaker 1: with your parents?

345
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:47,480
Speaker 2: Yes? Yeah, Who the fuck is this guy? Well, there's.

346
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:55,359
Speaker 3: We This was a solid plan beforehand, our parents, my

347
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:59,000
Speaker 3: parents weren't going to have us pay rent here for

348
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:02,920
Speaker 3: six months, and that was with how much he makes

349
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:06,119
Speaker 3: and how much I was hypothetically going to make. We

350
00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:07,800
Speaker 3: were going to put it down the payment on a

351
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:11,720
Speaker 3: house here. So like everybody was cool with this. It

352
00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:15,399
Speaker 3: was fine, and like he was okay with this, But

353
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:17,000
Speaker 3: now it's just kind of you.

354
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:19,200
Speaker 1: Know, what do you what do you? I mean, what

355
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:20,600
Speaker 1: do your parents think about this guy?

356
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:25,360
Speaker 3: Mom fucking hates Yeah, your mom hates.

357
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, your mom fucking of course, your mom fucking hates

358
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,240
Speaker 1: this guy. By the way, I just want you, I

359
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:31,399
Speaker 1: want to say this because I you, I think you

360
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:35,959
Speaker 1: do love this guy. I think it's I you can

361
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:39,200
Speaker 1: totally totally love And I don't think this guy is

362
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:41,879
Speaker 1: a piece of ship. I just think, you know, I

363
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:46,280
Speaker 1: don't think he's You can totally totally love someone and

364
00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:50,360
Speaker 1: you really deeply love someone and have a deep connection

365
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:55,840
Speaker 1: with them and be and be and be incompatible, uh

366
00:21:56,680 --> 00:22:00,800
Speaker 1: logistically in life, and you know that's the thing. It's

367
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:03,679
Speaker 1: totally a thing. And this guy's twenty.

368
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:06,600
Speaker 3: Four, twenty five next month.

369
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:09,560
Speaker 1: Okay, let him be a dumb ass. Let him be

370
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:15,520
Speaker 1: a dumb ass, and he's gonna be fine, you know. Yeah,

371
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:17,560
Speaker 1: of course it makes total sense that your mom hates

372
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:21,840
Speaker 1: this guy. But the I the idea of like, let me,

373
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:23,720
Speaker 1: I'm gonna stay at home with my first of all,

374
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:28,840
Speaker 1: living in homely parents, saving up money. If you're privileged

375
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:31,000
Speaker 1: enough to be able to do that, it's a fucking

376
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:36,400
Speaker 1: it's a life hack. It's a great opportunity, amazing opportunity,

377
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:43,119
Speaker 1: and you should totally take it, you know. Uh, And

378
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:45,280
Speaker 1: you and you're what you're looking for jobs, right.

379
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:50,800
Speaker 3: Yes, I am relentlessly looking for a job. Any excuse

380
00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:52,879
Speaker 3: to not be trucked in the house all day?

381
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:55,320
Speaker 1: Okay? And what's the deal with this car? You guys

382
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:55,960
Speaker 1: bought it together.

383
00:22:57,320 --> 00:23:06,479
Speaker 3: It's my car, it's your car. Yes, he was leasing

384
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:10,520
Speaker 3: a car before we moved and we weren't able to

385
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:14,920
Speaker 3: take both cars. And because I own my car, that

386
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:18,200
Speaker 3: is the one that we use. That's like the only

387
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:21,480
Speaker 3: one we have. So he uses my car to.

388
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:22,480
Speaker 2: Go to his job.

389
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,000
Speaker 1: Why does it he has a Why does then he buy.

390
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:26,480
Speaker 2: His own car.

391
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:32,359
Speaker 3: Because he spent all his money on his debt instead

392
00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:37,240
Speaker 3: of putting any amount of it in the savings without

393
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:38,040
Speaker 3: telling anyone.

394
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:44,000
Speaker 6: I'm losing my mind here, dude.

395
00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:48,120
Speaker 1: You gotta like I'm I try, I try really hard

396
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:50,960
Speaker 1: to remain agnostic on this show. But then you gotta

397
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:51,760
Speaker 1: leave this guy.

398
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:52,239
Speaker 2: You can.

399
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:54,199
Speaker 1: You gotta leave it. You gotta kick this guy out

400
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:54,840
Speaker 1: of your parents?

401
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:55,320
Speaker 6: Does it?

402
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:57,440
Speaker 1: What's his parents house? Does he is he have a

403
00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:58,480
Speaker 1: good relationship with his parents?

404
00:23:59,760 --> 00:23:59,800
Speaker 2: No?

405
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:03,680
Speaker 1: Does he? Does he have a good enough relationship with

406
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:05,439
Speaker 1: his parents that he can like.

407
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:09,080
Speaker 3: I mean, his mom begs him to move back in.

408
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:12,960
Speaker 1: Oh, tell this guy to go move back in with

409
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:17,440
Speaker 1: his parents, his parents. He didn't. He's not over here like,

410
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:21,360
Speaker 1: oh my parents beat me or whatever. Right, Okay, tell

411
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:25,160
Speaker 1: this guy, Tell this guy to leave, Tell this guy

412
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:29,520
Speaker 1: to go leave it home with his parents and give

413
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:33,159
Speaker 1: you back your fucking car. And you and I know

414
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:36,520
Speaker 1: the job market success. But eventually, you're working really hard,

415
00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:40,040
Speaker 1: you'll eventually find some way to make money. And then

416
00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:42,840
Speaker 1: you can be twenty six living at your parents' house,

417
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:45,200
Speaker 1: you have your own fucking car. You'll eventually find a

418
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:47,160
Speaker 1: way to make what you're making money online. You don't

419
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:48,720
Speaker 1: have to. I don't know what you're doing, but you

420
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:49,800
Speaker 1: know what are you doing?

421
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:54,879
Speaker 3: It's to start. Okay, great, amazing condition like that, right, yeah.

422
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:57,840
Speaker 1: Amazing, amazing. All right, So you go make your own money,

423
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:01,159
Speaker 1: say say to him, hey, let's and we gotta do

424
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:02,200
Speaker 1: our own thing.

425
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:04,560
Speaker 3: And he go.

426
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:06,959
Speaker 1: He goes, lives back home with his mom, figures out

427
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:09,200
Speaker 1: his life, he's got a job. He'll do the same

428
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:11,399
Speaker 1: thing that you're doing, making money living at home with

429
00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:13,960
Speaker 1: his parents. But yeah, you' you don't want this. Fucking guys,

430
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:17,600
Speaker 1: there's nothing in this for you. There's nothing. There's nothing

431
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 1: in this for you. There's nothing in this for you,

432
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:27,960
Speaker 1: and you'll be able to build up your own ship.

433
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 1: This is good for him too, because because he it's

434
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:34,359
Speaker 1: okay that this guy's kind of a dumbass and has debt.

435
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:38,120
Speaker 1: It's fine, Sure, he'll figure it out. You're both really young,

436
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:39,680
Speaker 1: so you both figure it out. But he's got to

437
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:43,399
Speaker 1: figure it out on his own and not rope a

438
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:45,159
Speaker 1: bunch of other people into it.

439
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:48,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you're right.

440
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:54,360
Speaker 1: So you know I, by the way, I I must

441
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:58,680
Speaker 1: I must be the like sixth person that's told you

442
00:25:58,760 --> 00:25:59,440
Speaker 1: to leave this guy.

443
00:25:59,560 --> 00:25:59,679
Speaker 2: Right.

444
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:05,320
Speaker 3: So, I actually haven't talked to anybody about this except

445
00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:08,560
Speaker 3: my mom. I felt like I needed some kind of

446
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:13,040
Speaker 3: different outside perspective from someone that wasn't you know, a

447
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,679
Speaker 3: friend that has heard me bitch about this person before.

448
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:19,040
Speaker 3: So I, you know, I really like your show. I

449
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:22,840
Speaker 3: like the the you know word you have. So I figured,

450
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:26,159
Speaker 3: you know, why not? And I figured you were going

451
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:27,160
Speaker 3: to say what you said.

452
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:30,239
Speaker 1: Of course, Yeah, of course you did. Of course you did,

453
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:32,560
Speaker 1: because it's you know what you know why. I think

454
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:34,240
Speaker 1: you figured that I was going to say what you

455
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:38,960
Speaker 1: is because you already know all this. And then the problem.

456
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:46,280
Speaker 1: The problem is nothing logistic, right, The problem isn't isn't isn't.

457
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:50,680
Speaker 1: This is not a knowledge based problem. This isn't a

458
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:54,320
Speaker 1: problem where we don't have all of the informa. This

459
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:55,679
Speaker 1: is a very emotional problem.

460
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:56,959
Speaker 5: Right.

461
00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:00,119
Speaker 1: It's not that we don't. It's not you know in

462
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:02,640
Speaker 1: your heart everything I already said before I even said

463
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:04,880
Speaker 1: it to you, and because you were you were, Yeah,

464
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:06,680
Speaker 1: you already know all this stuff in your gut. The

465
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:10,439
Speaker 1: problem is not, oh, I don't know what decision to make.

466
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:12,480
Speaker 1: You already know what decision to make. The problem is

467
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:19,400
Speaker 1: the emotional quotet of having to make that decision. And yeah,

468
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,960
Speaker 1: that's really hard because there's so much.

469
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:28,160
Speaker 3: Time put into something like that and then it's thrown away.

470
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:33,240
Speaker 1: There's not actually that much time put into this. There's

471
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 1: not actually much time, but it feels like a lot

472
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,760
Speaker 1: of time to It feels like a lot of time

473
00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:45,160
Speaker 1: to you, But it's not that much time. A, it's

474
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:45,880
Speaker 1: not that much time.

475
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:46,200
Speaker 7: And B.

476
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:52,159
Speaker 1: Please remember life is error correction. So the making of

477
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:55,359
Speaker 1: the errors, the quote unquote wasting of the time was

478
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 1: all part of the process of being a living human

479
00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:03,400
Speaker 1: navigating the world. So it wasn't wasted time.

480
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:12,000
Speaker 3: Okay, I've already taken up about thirty minutes at your time.

481
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,639
Speaker 3: But I do want to say thank you for your words,

482
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:21,560
Speaker 3: and once again, I really do appreciate what you do

483
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:23,440
Speaker 3: for other people. I think you're a cool person.

484
00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:28,359
Speaker 1: Thanks, and yeah, I'm sorry I've asked you ten times,

485
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:30,080
Speaker 1: but what's your name one more time? It's such an

486
00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:35,280
Speaker 1: as Sarah Sha Shae Shae Shay. Give us a call back,

487
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:36,960
Speaker 1: let me know what happens. I'm curious.

488
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,080
Speaker 2: Absolutely, Thank you so much for your time.

489
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:45,720
Speaker 1: All right, good luck, shame, thank you bye. That was

490
00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:47,640
Speaker 1: so funny when she was like, my mom hates this guy,

491
00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:50,960
Speaker 1: but of course your mom hates this guy. Again. I

492
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,040
Speaker 1: don't think this is a bad guy. I don't think

493
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:54,720
Speaker 1: he's a piece of shit. I just think, you know,

494
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:59,640
Speaker 1: he just doesn't have a shit together, and you gotta

495
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:03,240
Speaker 1: get you He's got to get your shit together without,

496
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:06,160
Speaker 1: you know, especially if his mom is begging him to

497
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 1: come back home.

498
00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:07,800
Speaker 3: You know.

499
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:11,959
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was no. I was really bummed out by

500
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:15,760
Speaker 1: that call because I thought that caller was sixty seven

501
00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:20,719
Speaker 1: years old and this was like her last shot at

502
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:26,080
Speaker 1: a relationship or whatever. But that's no. I hope, I

503
00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:29,680
Speaker 1: hope she gives herself the space for them both to

504
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:37,520
Speaker 1: independently get their shit together, and I I wish, I

505
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:41,360
Speaker 1: wish i'd heard more about her mom's perspective on the situation.

506
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:43,920
Speaker 1: But yeah, thanks for calling Shy.

507
00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:48,360
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, Hi.

508
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:54,000
Speaker 1: What's your name? My name is Jessica, Jessica, what's up?

509
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:54,760
Speaker 1: How's life?

510
00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:58,400
Speaker 3: Life is the most amazing ever.

511
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:02,360
Speaker 6: I'm so last and so happy and full of joy.

512
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:03,880
Speaker 2: How are you?

513
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:09,880
Speaker 1: Why you sound like strawberry shortcake or something? Why why

514
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:11,320
Speaker 1: are you? Why so good?

515
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 6: I'm literally drinking a strawberry lemonade Sativa, and neverminds you

516
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:19,640
Speaker 6: of a strawberry shortcake. So I just turned twenty two.

517
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:24,240
Speaker 6: My birthday was on Monday, and I'm at the beach.

518
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:28,800
Speaker 6: I'm just I feel so relaxed. I just got registered

519
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:32,920
Speaker 6: back into school. I started school Monday, junior in college.

520
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:35,520
Speaker 6: And I told the boy that I have the.

521
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:37,840
Speaker 3: Hugest crush on that I like him on Wednesday and

522
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:42,280
Speaker 3: he likes me back. So life is just I'm teaking

523
00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 3: right now.

524
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:47,440
Speaker 1: You you sound like you're being written or something, like

525
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:49,959
Speaker 1: you're a fictional character in a novel.

526
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:54,320
Speaker 6: Oh let me so good. God has been so nice

527
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:57,160
Speaker 6: to me. And I went fishing today for the first time.

528
00:30:57,240 --> 00:30:58,040
Speaker 6: In five years.

529
00:30:58,440 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 3: Dude, I caught twelve fish.

530
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:05,640
Speaker 1: Yeah awesome, Okay, this is that's a lot, this is

531
00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:11,600
Speaker 1: so much well, uh well, Jessica, listen, I'll ask you this.

532
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:13,440
Speaker 1: Is there anything in particular you called in to want

533
00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:14,160
Speaker 1: to talk about today?

534
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:20,000
Speaker 6: Yes, a thousand. So I've spoken to Lyle twice, the

535
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:21,800
Speaker 6: first time I ever spoke to him.

536
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:25,400
Speaker 1: It's me, by the way, I'm Lyle.

537
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 3: Wait Lyle, yes, wait, Lyle.

538
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:34,120
Speaker 6: Oh my god, I've been wanting to update you all

539
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:36,800
Speaker 6: my life so you might remember me.

540
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:37,240
Speaker 2: Then.

541
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 6: The first time we ever spoke, you did a five

542
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:43,440
Speaker 6: am call and I was in the hospital with my

543
00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:48,480
Speaker 6: dad who's dying. Yes, yeah, oh that was me.

544
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:49,320
Speaker 3: Uh.

545
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:51,240
Speaker 6: I think I just cried on the phone for like

546
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:51,840
Speaker 6: thirty minutes.

547
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:55,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh my god? What hold hold on, wait, hold

548
00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:57,440
Speaker 1: the phone real quick. Okay, you know what, Can I

549
00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:58,640
Speaker 1: be so honest with you right now?

550
00:31:58,720 --> 00:31:59,040
Speaker 2: Can I be?

551
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:01,200
Speaker 1: Can I be so honest with you right now? I

552
00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:03,440
Speaker 1: just get you call? Okay. At the beginning of this call,

553
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:05,120
Speaker 1: I was a little bit like, why is this fucking

554
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:08,040
Speaker 1: girl so cheery? This is pissing me off a little bit.

555
00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 1: But this lady, it was it was I had I

556
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:12,320
Speaker 1: gotta be out there. It was pissing me off how

557
00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:16,400
Speaker 1: happy you sounded. But now, uh, you soundedude and happy.

558
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:21,240
Speaker 1: But I I remember our call. Yeah, this was like

559
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:22,160
Speaker 1: three years ago.

560
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:25,920
Speaker 6: Right, yep, Okay, you know what I thought?

561
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:27,479
Speaker 1: I was kind of okay the beginning of this call,

562
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:28,920
Speaker 1: I was like, who is this lady? Why is she

563
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:31,280
Speaker 1: so happy? This is pissing me off? But I remember

564
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 1: three years ago. Yes, I remember you called me while

565
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:37,360
Speaker 1: you were in the hospital with your dad and you

566
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:41,840
Speaker 1: were crying, and we had this very emotional phone call.

567
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:45,360
Speaker 1: And now I'm like, you know what I think if

568
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:47,960
Speaker 1: three years ago you call in and you're miserable and

569
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 1: you're crying, I think you get to be happy now.

570
00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:53,640
Speaker 1: I think this makes me more sense. I'm I'm I'm

571
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:56,520
Speaker 1: so much more enthralled by your joy than I was

572
00:32:56,640 --> 00:33:01,160
Speaker 1: previously agitated by it, knowing the context of.

573
00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:04,040
Speaker 6: This, Okay, this I've been wanting to update you. So

574
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:07,880
Speaker 6: we met in person. I'll tell you about it because

575
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:11,240
Speaker 6: I know you meet thousands of people. I brought my

576
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 6: aunt to one of your shows in Nashville, Tennessee, and

577
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:17,080
Speaker 6: I wore an evy onesie and I sat right on

578
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 6: the front row.

579
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:22,840
Speaker 1: I do vaguely remember that. I do vaguely remember that

580
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:25,040
Speaker 1: I that we you and I you and I met,

581
00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:29,680
Speaker 1: because yes, I remember that phone call that we had. Yeah,

582
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:31,600
Speaker 1: it was it was very touching.

583
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:35,640
Speaker 6: Yeah, I was going through a lot. I was really sad,

584
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:38,680
Speaker 6: and I went through a really hard time in my life.

585
00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:41,040
Speaker 6: I love being opening up. I love opening up and

586
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:43,480
Speaker 6: being raw on the phone, because you know, what is

587
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:49,120
Speaker 6: this talk show for. So right after that, I got

588
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:53,520
Speaker 6: into this like really toxic relationship. It was super abusive.

589
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:56,920
Speaker 6: I tried to kill myself and life was just not

590
00:33:57,080 --> 00:34:02,520
Speaker 6: going great right as life does sometimes, And I ended

591
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:06,400
Speaker 6: up getting saved, and I mean Jesus just pulled me

592
00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:11,239
Speaker 6: out and God started revealing himself to me, and he

593
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:15,279
Speaker 6: completely turned my life around, saved me. I ended up

594
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 6: sending that silly, little abusive X to jail on domestic violence,

595
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:24,759
Speaker 6: and he restored the relationship with my father. First of all,

596
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:27,560
Speaker 6: he let him live, which is amazing. I'm so thankful.

597
00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:30,479
Speaker 4: Yeah.

598
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:34,040
Speaker 1: Oh cool, good, good, good good.

599
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:39,200
Speaker 6: Yeah. That was a rough time. And for the last

600
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:41,960
Speaker 6: year now I've been trying to call in to talk

601
00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:45,879
Speaker 6: to you because my life has just changed so much

602
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:48,880
Speaker 6: for the better and it's been amazing.

603
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:52,320
Speaker 1: Okay, great, yeah, no, this is you know what, Okay,

604
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:56,560
Speaker 1: because here's my thing is I think if you if

605
00:34:56,640 --> 00:35:00,360
Speaker 1: you are just if I think you know, when you

606
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:03,200
Speaker 1: meet people and they're happy, just like by defaults, they're

607
00:35:03,239 --> 00:35:06,040
Speaker 1: like everything's amazing. Of course it is. It's like those

608
00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:08,680
Speaker 1: I think those people are completely insane. And I think,

609
00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:10,200
Speaker 1: for a second I thought maybe you were one of

610
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:13,200
Speaker 1: those people. But you're. No, You're the You're You're You're

611
00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:16,080
Speaker 1: the kind of happy person I love who is like,

612
00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:22,719
Speaker 1: oh no, I've seen horrible things and I understand them

613
00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:26,239
Speaker 1: and I'm and I and I'm happy despite them. I'm like,

614
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 1: that's a that's a great happy person.

615
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 6: How can you possibly appreciate the sunshine and the peaceful

616
00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:36,360
Speaker 6: ocean if you don't sit in the storm?

617
00:35:36,719 --> 00:35:38,719
Speaker 2: You know, I'm with you. I'm with you.

618
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:43,520
Speaker 1: No, I'm so happy to hear that you're doing better.

619
00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:48,520
Speaker 1: So okay, I'm trying to remember a little bit about

620
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:50,200
Speaker 1: our call, and tell me if this is correct. But

621
00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:55,360
Speaker 1: I remember that. Okay, I might be confusing this with

622
00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:57,560
Speaker 1: other things, so tell me if this is correct. But

623
00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:03,279
Speaker 1: I remember you had a bit of a of a No,

624
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:08,239
Speaker 1: I not troubled necessarily but a difficult relationship with your dad.

625
00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:09,320
Speaker 1: Is that accurate?

626
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:13,520
Speaker 7: Yes, that was accurate, And all of.

627
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:16,800
Speaker 1: Your siblings were kind of like leaving him behind and

628
00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:19,920
Speaker 1: you were the only one who was at the hospital

629
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:22,840
Speaker 1: with him and your siblings. Well, yeah, so.

630
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:27,759
Speaker 6: I'm the youngest. My dad has like six kids that

631
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:32,640
Speaker 6: he knows of. My dad was very busy in his youth,

632
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:34,480
Speaker 6: so none of us have the same mom.

633
00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:38,799
Speaker 3: I have been talking to.

634
00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:41,720
Speaker 6: My sister over the phone for the last three years,

635
00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:44,960
Speaker 6: and my dad doesn't know, and so he's usually really

636
00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:48,680
Speaker 6: aggressive about it. But me and my sister we.

637
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:50,200
Speaker 3: Talked usually at least once a month.

638
00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:53,360
Speaker 6: She's four years older than me. She was living in

639
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:55,279
Speaker 6: San Diego for a while and then she moved to

640
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:59,640
Speaker 6: Washington and I almost got to meet her because I've

641
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:02,200
Speaker 6: been working looking for this nonprofit profit and I get

642
00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:04,840
Speaker 6: to travel for my job. And then the week that

643
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:06,880
Speaker 6: I went up there for work, she ended up moving

644
00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:09,160
Speaker 6: to Jacksonville.

645
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:10,279
Speaker 3: Florida, which is where she was born.

646
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:13,600
Speaker 6: But she just despises my dad, even though she hasn't

647
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:15,359
Speaker 6: met him, but it's from all the things that her

648
00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:18,880
Speaker 6: mom told her about him. So none of my siblings

649
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:22,440
Speaker 6: are very fond of him. My dad was very not

650
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:26,560
Speaker 6: emotionally intelligent due to the upbringing he received, and it

651
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:29,719
Speaker 6: was not entirely a fault of his own. As much

652
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:33,200
Speaker 6: as you know, nature plays a part, it's also nurture,

653
00:37:33,239 --> 00:37:35,160
Speaker 6: and he did not receive the love and care he

654
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:39,520
Speaker 6: needed growing up. So as I've gotten older, you know,

655
00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:43,800
Speaker 6: I'm celebrating my twenty second birthday, I've really gotten to

656
00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:47,000
Speaker 6: teach my dad a lot how to communicate and understand

657
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:49,440
Speaker 6: and process his emotions and feelings and be able to

658
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:53,480
Speaker 6: talk to me. And it's really improved our relationship. I mean,

659
00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:56,160
Speaker 6: it's like we're friends now, and it's super awesome.

660
00:37:57,120 --> 00:38:00,680
Speaker 1: That's amazing. How are things going with your siblings?

661
00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:07,080
Speaker 6: So it was crazy. My brother and I have never

662
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:11,439
Speaker 6: been super close, which is kind of my mom's fault

663
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:16,080
Speaker 6: because my mom, she's an illegal immigrant, and when my

664
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:18,160
Speaker 6: brother was seven was when she had to make the

665
00:38:18,239 --> 00:38:21,400
Speaker 6: choice to come to America by herself or you know,

666
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:23,720
Speaker 6: stay with him until she came here and left him behind.

667
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:27,160
Speaker 6: She got here, she had me and my brother ended

668
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:29,280
Speaker 6: up being raised by my aunt.

669
00:38:29,239 --> 00:38:30,319
Speaker 3: And not my mom.

670
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:33,000
Speaker 6: And so when he finally got here when he was eighteen,

671
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:35,840
Speaker 6: right till like eleven years later and he meets me.

672
00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:39,640
Speaker 6: I don't want to say he despised me, but I

673
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:42,719
Speaker 6: could tell he was upset because he felt like my

674
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:48,200
Speaker 6: mom favored me. But the last year we have been

675
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:52,200
Speaker 6: kind of rekindling getting to know each other, and I

676
00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:54,400
Speaker 6: stay getting to know each other because his first language

677
00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:57,919
Speaker 6: is Spanish and mine is English, so you know, there's

678
00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:00,480
Speaker 6: a little bit of a communication barrier. But this is

679
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:03,920
Speaker 6: the first year ever my brother has got me a

680
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:10,920
Speaker 6: birthday present. Yeah, it was so crazy. I love writing

681
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:15,680
Speaker 6: poetry and I like writing short stories and I journal

682
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:18,480
Speaker 6: very often, which I've shared with him, and so he

683
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:24,680
Speaker 6: got me a quill and ink with like different calligraphy tips. Yeah,

684
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,120
Speaker 6: it was super cool and I was like, oh my gosh,

685
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:29,640
Speaker 6: this is like really thoughtful. I can't believe he did this.

686
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:34,600
Speaker 6: He's never gotten me anything before, so that was awesome.

687
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:38,960
Speaker 1: It sounds like your whole family dynamic is like on

688
00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:39,719
Speaker 1: the upwards.

689
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:43,799
Speaker 6: Yeah, everything is completely changed, like what I was when

690
00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:46,000
Speaker 6: I called you at the time, Like my dad was dying,

691
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:48,080
Speaker 6: my mom wasn't talking to me because she was going

692
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:50,640
Speaker 6: through like a messy thing her husband cheater, and or

693
00:39:50,719 --> 00:39:55,600
Speaker 6: she moved to Mexico, wasn't talking to me like I

694
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:58,600
Speaker 6: wasn't really talking to my siblings. My dad was upset

695
00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:00,560
Speaker 6: that I reached out to my sister because he was like,

696
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:02,520
Speaker 6: if she doesn't like me, why are you talking to her?

697
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:02,960
Speaker 2: And bled.

698
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:11,520
Speaker 6: But God has really worked some magical wonders in my

699
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:15,120
Speaker 6: life and it has been so beautiful to watch unfold

700
00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:18,480
Speaker 6: because I sat in that waiting for so long, like

701
00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:21,799
Speaker 6: growing up was the hardest thing that I ever did,

702
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,439
Speaker 6: and being on the other side now, like I'm still

703
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:28,280
Speaker 6: a kid. I'm still every age that I was before

704
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:29,320
Speaker 6: until this moment.

705
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:32,840
Speaker 1: What you just turned twenty two? You still have so

706
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:38,280
Speaker 1: much life ahead of you still, Yeah, it just hits different.

707
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:41,360
Speaker 3: Walking with the Lord hits different.

708
00:40:43,239 --> 00:40:46,040
Speaker 1: Well excellent, I'm I'm I'm so happy to hear that.

709
00:40:46,080 --> 00:40:47,840
Speaker 1: And yeah I do, Okay, I do remember the the

710
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:48,680
Speaker 1: ev Onesie?

711
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:53,280
Speaker 6: You do you remember that random girl the ev Onesie?

712
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:57,120
Speaker 2: Well that that was a Zanies, right, yeah, that was

713
00:40:57,200 --> 00:40:57,920
Speaker 2: a Zainies.

714
00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:00,560
Speaker 1: Yeah. Wait did you tell do you old? Actually I

715
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:03,160
Speaker 1: was trying to did you Did you mention that I

716
00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:06,319
Speaker 1: met you on this phone call that we're having right now?

717
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:08,240
Speaker 1: Did you mention that we met in Nashville?

718
00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:10,800
Speaker 6: Yeah, we met in Nashville.

719
00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:12,640
Speaker 1: Okay, all right. I was trying to see if I

720
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:16,239
Speaker 1: pulled that from my own memory, because again and I

721
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:19,640
Speaker 1: just that and this is the thing, and I don't

722
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,839
Speaker 1: I don't remember your name. I don't remember the names

723
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:26,520
Speaker 1: of people who I talked to, but I remember our

724
00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:30,480
Speaker 1: conversation Vivia there. I literally can put myself back in

725
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:32,360
Speaker 1: the room that I was in when we had that

726
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:35,040
Speaker 1: phone call, because that was uh yeah, it was. It

727
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:39,239
Speaker 1: was an emotional one and you were nineteen at.

728
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:42,960
Speaker 3: The time, eighteen or nineteen.

729
00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:47,200
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, it was definitely pre COVID, and I think

730
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:49,800
Speaker 6: I was like, one was trauma dumping on you.

731
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:54,000
Speaker 1: Well shit, what is your name?

732
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:57,840
Speaker 6: My name is Jessica, Jessica.

733
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:01,240
Speaker 1: Well shit, yeah, Jessica.

734
00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:01,480
Speaker 3: I no.

735
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:06,720
Speaker 1: I actually even remember meeting you in the ev Onesie.

736
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:11,520
Speaker 1: It was like outside at Zany's and I remember you

737
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:14,600
Speaker 1: told me that that was you from that phone call,

738
00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:16,880
Speaker 1: and I remember being like, oh shit, I remember that.

739
00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:17,760
Speaker 1: That was cool.

740
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:18,319
Speaker 5: Yeah.

741
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:20,839
Speaker 6: I had a lot of mixed feelings. I remember when

742
00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:23,279
Speaker 6: you released the podcast. I was the headliner, and it

743
00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:25,759
Speaker 6: was like calling from the hospital and I was like,

744
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:30,160
Speaker 6: oh man, everyone's gonna hear me crying and trauma dumping.

745
00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:35,080
Speaker 1: Did you read the comments on YouTube?

746
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:36,840
Speaker 3: I didn't.

747
00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:40,720
Speaker 1: I'm sure they were nice. I don't think people. Actually

748
00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:42,520
Speaker 1: I'm not so sure they were nice. People are dicks

749
00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:46,200
Speaker 1: on the internet for absolutely no reason. And also people

750
00:42:46,239 --> 00:42:49,120
Speaker 1: don't even know. I just think people don't understand the

751
00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:53,320
Speaker 1: point of the show because they'll comment being like this

752
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:55,320
Speaker 1: person sounds like a bitch, and I'm like, this is

753
00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:58,000
Speaker 1: not the point of why we're doing this is to

754
00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:00,960
Speaker 1: give your opinion of whether or not it's no one

755
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:02,880
Speaker 1: said that about you. I'm just saying people say that

756
00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:06,239
Speaker 1: in general about in general anyway, whatever, who cares? Who cares?

757
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:09,440
Speaker 6: I always listen to you on Spotify.

758
00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:14,839
Speaker 1: So well, uh well how about this? Well, first of all,

759
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:17,000
Speaker 1: glad you gave the update. This is a nice update.

760
00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:21,239
Speaker 1: What's new for you? What's next for you? I mean,

761
00:43:21,239 --> 00:43:23,880
Speaker 1: you're twenty two. Are you going to go to I

762
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:27,279
Speaker 1: did you just graduate school? Are you gonna what's what's

763
00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:29,000
Speaker 1: the deal? What's next for Jessica?

764
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:30,359
Speaker 5: Yeah?

765
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:34,960
Speaker 6: So I'm a junior in college now, super exciting. I

766
00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:36,879
Speaker 6: just changed my major for the fifth time.

767
00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:38,600
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, well what too?

768
00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:40,440
Speaker 3: So now it's.

769
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:43,360
Speaker 6: Business entrepreneurship with a minor and computer science.

770
00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:49,040
Speaker 1: Are you gonna think you should do like a new

771
00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:51,840
Speaker 1: are you gonna are you gonna make like a AI

772
00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:53,320
Speaker 1: tech company or something?

773
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:59,000
Speaker 6: Definitely not. I don't trust AI. I have mixed feelings

774
00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:01,040
Speaker 6: about it, so that's why I want to learn about it.

775
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:03,000
Speaker 6: Like one of the classes that I actually have with

776
00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:05,480
Speaker 6: my best friend set out to call I love her

777
00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:10,960
Speaker 6: so much. We're doing Introduction AI together, so I'm really excited.

778
00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:17,600
Speaker 6: But yeah, no, I think it would be important to

779
00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:21,920
Speaker 6: learn basic computer and technology. Is that day and h

780
00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:22,680
Speaker 6: that we're living in.

781
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:24,799
Speaker 1: The Only reason I say this is because I feel

782
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:28,759
Speaker 1: like that's the like business entrepreneurship with computer science. It

783
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:32,120
Speaker 1: feels like all those people are just doing AI shit, not.

784
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:34,400
Speaker 6: That I know, right, Like, let me build an automated

785
00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:36,440
Speaker 6: system so I don't actually have to put.

786
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:39,840
Speaker 1: In any work, all right, So you what are you?

787
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:43,080
Speaker 1: What are you hoping to do with with that?

788
00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:48,920
Speaker 6: I would really just sounds silly. I don't care as

789
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:52,360
Speaker 6: much about starting my own business. I did about a

790
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:57,279
Speaker 6: year and a half ago. I was doing senior and

791
00:44:57,520 --> 00:45:01,880
Speaker 6: veteran helow income living. Had a little staff and we

792
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:06,160
Speaker 6: provided housing and care for disabled veterans but disabled seniors,

793
00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:11,279
Speaker 6: and it was super educational. But I've been working at

794
00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:13,560
Speaker 6: this nonprofit for about two and a half years now.

795
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:16,840
Speaker 6: It's called Veterans Village, and we helped provide on a

796
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:20,480
Speaker 6: larger scale, low into housing for seniors and veterans. And

797
00:45:21,239 --> 00:45:25,080
Speaker 6: I would love to do some kind of whether it's

798
00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:30,000
Speaker 6: mission work or nonprofit, but providing help and support and

799
00:45:30,120 --> 00:45:35,759
Speaker 6: outreach for young girls who come from broken homes, the

800
00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:38,920
Speaker 6: young girls who are going through abuse, because that's.

801
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:39,759
Speaker 2: What I relate to.

802
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:45,080
Speaker 6: And when I reflect now back to that younger person,

803
00:45:45,320 --> 00:45:47,320
Speaker 6: you know, the need that's still inside of me. She

804
00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:50,279
Speaker 6: just needed some kind of love and support, somebody to

805
00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:53,040
Speaker 6: remind her like life will not always be this way

806
00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:54,480
Speaker 6: and there's a bigger world.

807
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:55,000
Speaker 3: Like it's okay.

808
00:45:56,080 --> 00:46:02,200
Speaker 6: And so I would love to develop I'm saying that

809
00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:04,560
Speaker 6: would support young girls.

810
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:06,240
Speaker 1: Cool.

811
00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:07,000
Speaker 2: I like it.

812
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:10,359
Speaker 1: I like the I like the upwards trajectory. Jessica. I'm

813
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:12,920
Speaker 1: very happy for you, and I hope you continue, uh

814
00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:15,000
Speaker 1: continue being cheery.

815
00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:17,239
Speaker 2: Thank you.

816
00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:22,080
Speaker 6: It's been amazing. Like I don't know, I never expected

817
00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:22,480
Speaker 6: life to.

818
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:24,279
Speaker 2: Be good, you know, no doubt.

819
00:46:24,440 --> 00:46:27,160
Speaker 1: Yeah I again, yeah I I I mean it was

820
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:28,880
Speaker 1: a it was a while ago, but yeah, I remember

821
00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:33,239
Speaker 1: you were things were difficult three years ago. So you

822
00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:36,759
Speaker 1: know the fact that the families get together, the families

823
00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:41,480
Speaker 1: getting back together. You got a nice direction of purpose

824
00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:46,840
Speaker 1: in your life. You're uh, the boy you have a

825
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:51,240
Speaker 1: crush on likes you back. That's nice. Yeah, I think, Jessica,

826
00:46:52,239 --> 00:46:53,279
Speaker 1: Jessica stock is up.

827
00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:56,440
Speaker 6: I think. So I'm going to fill the tea with

828
00:46:56,560 --> 00:47:02,200
Speaker 6: you while Okay, So, so this boy that I like,

829
00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:09,080
Speaker 6: he has a girlfriend. I think he likes me back.

830
00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:11,720
Speaker 6: I can't tell. So I literally just confessed my feelings

831
00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:16,520
Speaker 6: for him on Wednesday, like this this past Wednesday, and

832
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:21,919
Speaker 6: he got my number. I thought that was a little

833
00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:28,760
Speaker 6: strange because he has a girlfriend. But we've been talking

834
00:47:28,840 --> 00:47:30,840
Speaker 6: and I've known him for about three years now, so

835
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:33,800
Speaker 6: i've met him like prior to the last two girlfriends

836
00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:37,920
Speaker 6: that he's had. But I finally got the courage to

837
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:42,400
Speaker 6: be like, hey, I think you're great, and he was like, oh,

838
00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:48,200
Speaker 6: I think great too. So I've been excited about that

839
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:52,239
Speaker 6: the last couple of days. But I don't know, I've

840
00:47:52,239 --> 00:47:53,200
Speaker 6: been trying to pray about it.

841
00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:55,040
Speaker 3: It's been a lot.

842
00:47:57,400 --> 00:48:04,239
Speaker 1: Well, I hope God livers whatever the right thing in

843
00:48:04,360 --> 00:48:09,680
Speaker 1: that situation is too, man, Jessica, is there anything else

844
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:11,440
Speaker 1: you want to say to the people of the computer before.

845
00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:16,839
Speaker 6: We you go, people of a computer. It always gets better,

846
00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:21,319
Speaker 6: even if it sucks. Right now, there's always a light

847
00:48:21,560 --> 00:48:23,200
Speaker 6: and it's not just at the end of the tunnel.

848
00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:26,520
Speaker 6: It is right there with you. I'm so glad I

849
00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:27,560
Speaker 6: could talk to you again, Lyle.

850
00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:29,480
Speaker 1: Thank you, Jessica. You have a good one.

851
00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:30,879
Speaker 6: You're true.

852
00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:35,520
Speaker 1: That was cool. Yeah, I totally remember that phone call.

853
00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:40,080
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, the episode was I'm calling from the hospital,

854
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:42,000
Speaker 1: and she was calling from the hospital, yeah, with her

855
00:48:42,640 --> 00:48:44,320
Speaker 1: dad who was dying, and it's good to hear that

856
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:48,160
Speaker 1: he's okay. It's good to hear that. No again. When

857
00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:49,840
Speaker 1: she first picked up the phone call, I was like,

858
00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:55,200
Speaker 1: who the fuck is this lady? You know, being so cheery.

859
00:48:55,840 --> 00:48:58,200
Speaker 1: It pissed me off, It really did. I'm and I

860
00:48:58,239 --> 00:49:00,239
Speaker 1: don't feel good and people are gonna be like, oh,

861
00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:03,000
Speaker 1: you know, Lyle, I thought that was wholesome. Why is

862
00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:04,840
Speaker 1: that pissing you off? And I don't control that it

863
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:05,680
Speaker 1: pisses me off?

864
00:49:06,440 --> 00:49:07,239
Speaker 2: But it did.

865
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:10,080
Speaker 1: And I'm not gonna lie and say it didn't, but

866
00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:13,080
Speaker 1: it did. But then once I found out who she

867
00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:15,360
Speaker 1: was and remembered the backstory, I was like, Oh, okay,

868
00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:18,360
Speaker 1: this is actually awesome that this person is feeling cheery.

869
00:49:18,920 --> 00:49:22,200
Speaker 1: I was happy, And that's a microcosm because here's the thing.

870
00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:25,280
Speaker 1: Even Let's say that that person got on the phone

871
00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:29,320
Speaker 1: and was like, you know, talking like you know, a

872
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:34,480
Speaker 1: fucking Alice in Wonderland or whatever, and I didn't and

873
00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:36,880
Speaker 1: I didn't know who she was, and I was just

874
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:40,560
Speaker 1: pissed off naturally at how cheery she was. Maybe if

875
00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:43,440
Speaker 1: I had, you know, I that was a preconceived judgment

876
00:49:43,880 --> 00:49:46,799
Speaker 1: that I made. That probably happens to me in real life.

877
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:48,239
Speaker 1: I'll meet someone and I'm like, who the fuck is

878
00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:51,400
Speaker 1: this person talking like this? And then uh, but I

879
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:54,160
Speaker 1: don't know. Maybe they maybe they went through some fucked

880
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:57,040
Speaker 1: up shit and now they're cheery and now that's exciting

881
00:49:57,280 --> 00:50:00,440
Speaker 1: for them, and I'm being an asshole, you know, So

882
00:50:00,719 --> 00:50:03,200
Speaker 1: I gotta I gotta. You gotta check yourself sometimes when

883
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:09,319
Speaker 1: when you're getting pissed off at things, I guess, hello, Hey,

884
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:09,799
Speaker 1: what's up?

885
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:12,640
Speaker 4: Hey, how you doing today?

886
00:50:13,400 --> 00:50:14,640
Speaker 1: I'm doing good? What's your name?

887
00:50:16,040 --> 00:50:18,719
Speaker 4: This is Crystal. I just talk to you about I

888
00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:22,160
Speaker 4: don't know, four to eight weeks ago, maybe oh.

889
00:50:22,320 --> 00:50:25,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember, what's up? Crystal, you have a what's

890
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:25,400
Speaker 1: going on?

891
00:50:26,680 --> 00:50:28,719
Speaker 4: Well, I was just well, a couple of things going on.

892
00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:31,440
Speaker 4: But I was calling first of all to say thank

893
00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:34,000
Speaker 4: you because I needed to hear what you told me.

894
00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:38,480
Speaker 4: And yeah yeah, and then I, uh, you know, I

895
00:50:38,520 --> 00:50:42,400
Speaker 4: went to work and basically things worked out great and

896
00:50:44,480 --> 00:50:46,600
Speaker 4: I'd learned to ignore them everybody, and you know that's

897
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:48,080
Speaker 4: a whole other another show.

898
00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:50,880
Speaker 1: But well here, I'll I'll give some I'll give a

899
00:50:50,920 --> 00:50:53,680
Speaker 1: little bit of context. I remember you called in, uh

900
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:55,560
Speaker 1: maybe a month ago, a few weeks ago, to talk

901
00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:59,360
Speaker 1: about how you were getting like bullied at work and

902
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:02,080
Speaker 1: like you had coworkers who were being like assholes to you.

903
00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:05,400
Speaker 1: And I don't remember what I said, but I remember

904
00:51:05,440 --> 00:51:07,200
Speaker 1: that that was your situation, and you're telling me that

905
00:51:07,280 --> 00:51:08,040
Speaker 1: things are going better.

906
00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:11,160
Speaker 4: Yep, yeah, I don't remember what you said exactly. You

907
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:12,960
Speaker 4: kind of went too like a big kind of woe,

908
00:51:12,960 --> 00:51:14,120
Speaker 4: went a little bit of rant, which is.

909
00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:14,440
Speaker 2: What I need.

910
00:51:15,320 --> 00:51:18,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well I mean sometimes, I mean, honestly,

911
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:19,839
Speaker 4: you just you were telling me things I already knew.

912
00:51:20,719 --> 00:51:22,799
Speaker 4: I was like in a real bad state of mind

913
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:24,279
Speaker 4: when I called you, and I don't even know how

914
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:26,960
Speaker 4: I really managed to even call you and that you

915
00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:29,279
Speaker 4: actually answered. But you know, things happened very reason, I

916
00:51:29,360 --> 00:51:33,120
Speaker 4: feel like and it was it was awesome. So yeah,

917
00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:35,480
Speaker 4: I went back to work and I just you know,

918
00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:38,279
Speaker 4: I ignore them, and uh just karma took over. And

919
00:51:39,400 --> 00:51:41,920
Speaker 4: the main person that was you know, giving me help,

920
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:44,759
Speaker 4: giving me feel whatever type of way, was the supervisor.

921
00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:47,200
Speaker 4: And I guess you know, it was not to me thing.

922
00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:50,399
Speaker 4: She was just an asshole and they ended up getting

923
00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:56,680
Speaker 4: rid of her, so which was awesome. But yeah, you know,

924
00:51:56,840 --> 00:51:58,400
Speaker 4: I just feel like I need to just say thank you.

925
00:51:59,239 --> 00:52:00,960
Speaker 1: Oh well, I'm I'm just so happy to hear that

926
00:52:00,960 --> 00:52:03,360
Speaker 1: you yeah, because you weren't doing so great. Are you

927
00:52:03,440 --> 00:52:06,080
Speaker 1: doing better now? Are you feeling better at that your work?

928
00:52:07,040 --> 00:52:08,280
Speaker 4: Well, I'm feeling better in general.

929
00:52:08,320 --> 00:52:10,959
Speaker 3: I'm on my way up, you know, wonderful, it said.

930
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:12,920
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, it's only been you know, a month, and

931
00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:15,279
Speaker 4: some days are better than others. But you know, I

932
00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:17,520
Speaker 4: just go there and I just basically stay to myself

933
00:52:17,600 --> 00:52:20,279
Speaker 4: and listen to my music. Listen you and you know

934
00:52:20,880 --> 00:52:22,880
Speaker 4: you're you were you sittn't along the lines of like

935
00:52:22,960 --> 00:52:26,440
Speaker 4: you know, you know, if somebody's treats you cruel or

936
00:52:26,480 --> 00:52:29,319
Speaker 4: treat you not well, or makes you upset, or any

937
00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:31,239
Speaker 4: kind of negative things towards you. You know, it's not

938
00:52:31,320 --> 00:52:35,160
Speaker 4: really a not always a you problem, it's you know, objected.

939
00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:37,320
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, so you know. I mean it's so simple.

940
00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:40,200
Speaker 4: It seems so simple. But you know, when you feel

941
00:52:40,239 --> 00:52:42,399
Speaker 4: up the daily and you you start and you start

942
00:52:42,440 --> 00:52:44,000
Speaker 4: to believe people with some names, you know, and you

943
00:52:44,040 --> 00:52:46,120
Speaker 4: needed somebody just to kind of give you a little

944
00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:47,320
Speaker 4: slap in the faith and be like, hey, you know,

945
00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:53,279
Speaker 4: you know, it's it's work, you know, you know, yeah, yeah,

946
00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:54,640
Speaker 4: I won't take up all a lot of your time.

947
00:52:54,680 --> 00:52:56,239
Speaker 4: I just wanted to really say thank you because, like

948
00:52:56,320 --> 00:52:59,120
Speaker 4: I said, you know, I didn't realize how how cool

949
00:52:59,160 --> 00:53:00,480
Speaker 4: you were until after I talk to you. I was

950
00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:02,359
Speaker 4: looking and you talked to some really cool people.

951
00:53:03,520 --> 00:53:05,480
Speaker 3: So you're doing awesome well ship.

952
00:53:05,560 --> 00:53:08,200
Speaker 1: Thank you, Christal, You're cool too, man. I I know,

953
00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:10,520
Speaker 1: I'm glad you called it. I'm very Uh this makes

954
00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:14,759
Speaker 1: me happy. This makes me feel like I'm I'm this

955
00:53:14,960 --> 00:53:17,000
Speaker 1: is good. I'm happy that this that was a helpful

956
00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:19,560
Speaker 1: phone call for you. This makes me feel like I'm

957
00:53:19,640 --> 00:53:25,319
Speaker 1: not just uh uh wasting not no, not wasting my time.

958
00:53:25,440 --> 00:53:29,480
Speaker 1: But uh, I don't know ranting, ranting aimlessly into a

959
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:31,840
Speaker 1: stick alone in my room. I'm very I'm happy to

960
00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:34,320
Speaker 1: hear that that phone call had a positive effect on you.

961
00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:37,600
Speaker 1: I sincerely am christ and you know, also very happy

962
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:39,640
Speaker 1: in general. Also just very happy in general to hear

963
00:53:39,680 --> 00:53:41,680
Speaker 1: that you're doing better. So thank thank you very much

964
00:53:41,680 --> 00:53:42,319
Speaker 1: for calling back.

965
00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:46,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, no problem. So I wanted before you get

966
00:53:46,520 --> 00:53:49,160
Speaker 4: off here, I want to say I like your your

967
00:53:49,239 --> 00:53:52,960
Speaker 4: choice of outfit today. You're you know, you get from

968
00:53:52,960 --> 00:53:54,440
Speaker 4: the head up type of situations.

969
00:53:55,719 --> 00:54:02,040
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, for the you know, well here's you know,

970
00:54:02,120 --> 00:54:04,560
Speaker 1: what I realized is most of most of the people

971
00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:10,520
Speaker 1: who who consume this show, they consume it on audio,

972
00:54:10,680 --> 00:54:13,040
Speaker 1: so they can't even really even see that I'm in

973
00:54:13,200 --> 00:54:18,440
Speaker 1: this suit. But you know, so I'm I'm half gecko.

974
00:54:19,840 --> 00:54:22,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're like half gecko half We're gonna say this

975
00:54:22,480 --> 00:54:25,200
Speaker 4: not anyway, half half gecko.

976
00:54:25,040 --> 00:54:28,160
Speaker 1: Half ape. And you know what, I'm gonna interpret that positively.

977
00:54:29,239 --> 00:54:31,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, yeah, definitely. I would never say any means.

978
00:54:33,040 --> 00:54:35,879
Speaker 1: Think you Crystal. Thanks for calling man. Is there anything

979
00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:37,600
Speaker 1: else you want to say to the people of the computer.

980
00:54:37,400 --> 00:54:42,120
Speaker 4: Before we go, No, just I mean, be nice to

981
00:54:42,200 --> 00:54:43,800
Speaker 4: your fellow people. You know, you never know what somebody's

982
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:44,120
Speaker 4: going through.

983
00:54:44,719 --> 00:54:46,239
Speaker 1: Beautiful. Yeah, thank you for so good luck?

984
00:54:47,120 --> 00:54:47,719
Speaker 4: Yeah you as well?

985
00:54:47,760 --> 00:54:48,920
Speaker 2: How today? Bye bye?

986
00:54:49,880 --> 00:54:50,240
Speaker 4: Goodbye?

987
00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:55,239
Speaker 1: Did I just say yo? I think I just said yo.

988
00:54:56,920 --> 00:54:59,040
Speaker 1: That's okay. A lot of good a lot of good

989
00:54:59,080 --> 00:55:01,719
Speaker 1: callbacks today, lot of good uh lot a good lot

990
00:55:01,760 --> 00:55:09,319
Speaker 1: of good return callers today. Maddie, Hello, Hello, Hey, what's up?

991
00:55:09,600 --> 00:55:13,000
Speaker 2: Oh? Oh wow? This is really it? Wow? Your name

992
00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:15,400
Speaker 2: that's crazy. My name is Maddie.

993
00:55:16,080 --> 00:55:17,400
Speaker 1: Maddie. What's going on? Maddie?

994
00:55:18,920 --> 00:55:20,279
Speaker 6: Uh oh wow?

995
00:55:21,920 --> 00:55:25,600
Speaker 2: Sorry, I didn't actually think i'd get through. Uh I am,

996
00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:30,040
Speaker 2: I'm all right. I've actually I've got a bit of

997
00:55:30,200 --> 00:55:32,319
Speaker 2: uh well, I guess everyone does this, but I've got

998
00:55:32,320 --> 00:55:34,239
Speaker 2: a bit of dumping to do. If you're if I

999
00:55:34,320 --> 00:55:36,560
Speaker 2: can borrow your ears for a few minutes.

1000
00:55:37,920 --> 00:55:41,399
Speaker 1: Well, okay, let's do this. Instead of a dump, let's

1001
00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:45,319
Speaker 1: do like, uh, you know, a conversation like like if

1002
00:55:45,360 --> 00:55:47,799
Speaker 1: I'm a bin, right, you know, for a one piece

1003
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:50,160
Speaker 1: of trash in there, and then you know, we can

1004
00:55:50,800 --> 00:55:52,520
Speaker 1: go back and forth. How does that sound?

1005
00:55:53,440 --> 00:55:55,879
Speaker 2: That makes a lot more sense and sounds pretty good.

1006
00:55:56,120 --> 00:55:57,239
Speaker 1: Okay, great, hit me.

1007
00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:02,200
Speaker 2: All right, So I, or rather me and my partner,

1008
00:56:02,880 --> 00:56:08,360
Speaker 2: we just came back for just so I don't dos

1009
00:56:08,440 --> 00:56:10,959
Speaker 2: myself or anything. We came back to our major city

1010
00:56:11,800 --> 00:56:15,920
Speaker 2: after our little vacation in Montreal. I'm Canadian for that

1011
00:56:16,280 --> 00:56:20,960
Speaker 2: for reference. And I had a lot of fun in Montreal.

1012
00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:25,480
Speaker 2: I enjoyed, like, I enjoyed all of it, like it

1013
00:56:25,600 --> 00:56:31,080
Speaker 2: was It's beautiful city. There's amazing people there and great food.

1014
00:56:32,040 --> 00:56:39,840
Speaker 2: And now I'm back, uh, and I I feel I

1015
00:56:39,880 --> 00:56:43,360
Speaker 2: feel like I'm missing like that, and and and I

1016
00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:47,759
Speaker 2: know it's I know that my head's kind of like, well, fuck,

1017
00:56:48,440 --> 00:56:52,560
Speaker 2: let me let me just outline it. It's like I'm

1018
00:56:52,960 --> 00:56:56,719
Speaker 2: bummed that my vacation's over. I go back to my

1019
00:56:57,000 --> 00:57:02,640
Speaker 2: corporate esque job starting Monday, and I've been struggling with

1020
00:57:02,719 --> 00:57:06,640
Speaker 2: a bit of an identity crisis is the wrong word,

1021
00:57:06,800 --> 00:57:12,280
Speaker 2: but it's like, I don't want to be a fucking

1022
00:57:12,360 --> 00:57:13,919
Speaker 2: desk worker for the rest of my life.

1023
00:57:19,280 --> 00:57:23,120
Speaker 1: Okay, are you still there?

1024
00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:25,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's yeah, Yeah, it's still here.

1025
00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:30,280
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, what's your name again, Maddie, Maddie? How old

1026
00:57:30,320 --> 00:57:30,480
Speaker 1: are you?

1027
00:57:30,600 --> 00:57:33,600
Speaker 2: Maddie? I am twenty six.

1028
00:57:35,800 --> 00:57:37,080
Speaker 1: What would you want to do if you weren't a

1029
00:57:37,160 --> 00:57:37,640
Speaker 1: desk worker?

1030
00:57:40,600 --> 00:57:45,800
Speaker 2: I'd want to be, well, an artist or rather like

1031
00:57:46,800 --> 00:57:50,840
Speaker 2: a music artists specifically. I grew up on like techno

1032
00:57:51,080 --> 00:57:56,560
Speaker 2: and electro house and house in general, and that's that's

1033
00:57:56,600 --> 00:57:57,600
Speaker 2: what I want to be.

1034
00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:08,480
Speaker 1: Life is a very complicated push and pull between the

1035
00:58:08,640 --> 00:58:11,200
Speaker 1: things you have to do to ensure that you don't

1036
00:58:11,360 --> 00:58:14,720
Speaker 1: die and the things you want to do to ensure

1037
00:58:14,800 --> 00:58:16,920
Speaker 1: that when you look back on your life you're proud

1038
00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:23,760
Speaker 1: of it. And there's a lot of things that go

1039
00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:28,320
Speaker 1: into those two things. I think one of them is

1040
00:58:31,080 --> 00:58:39,160
Speaker 1: ensuring that you're what is it your your you're nut

1041
00:58:40,560 --> 00:58:42,520
Speaker 1: is as low as you can possibly get it to be.

1042
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:44,160
Speaker 2: Right.

1043
00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:49,360
Speaker 1: And then there's if you do have a corporate desk job,

1044
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:54,960
Speaker 1: how much of it are you saving versus spending? And uh,

1045
00:58:55,360 --> 00:58:57,080
Speaker 1: I mean that's that's it. I mean a lot of

1046
00:58:57,120 --> 00:59:00,560
Speaker 1: this stuff is is is just financial planning.

1047
00:59:01,040 --> 00:59:01,400
Speaker 2: I think.

1048
00:59:01,640 --> 00:59:07,120
Speaker 1: So you live in a major city, right, Yeah? What Toronto?

1049
00:59:09,280 --> 00:59:09,520
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1050
00:59:10,320 --> 00:59:13,479
Speaker 1: Okay? Is no one's no one's gonna find you based

1051
00:59:13,520 --> 00:59:15,520
Speaker 1: on the fact that you are a man who lives

1052
00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:22,840
Speaker 1: in Toronto. Yes, everything's fine, Everything's gonna be fine. Why

1053
00:59:23,160 --> 00:59:24,040
Speaker 1: why do you live in Toronto?

1054
00:59:28,040 --> 00:59:29,560
Speaker 2: You do you want to hear my whole story? Then

1055
00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:30,760
Speaker 2: are we okay with that?

1056
00:59:31,760 --> 00:59:35,160
Speaker 1: Sure? Wait, go ahead. Yeah.

1057
00:59:35,840 --> 00:59:41,280
Speaker 2: So I emigrated to Canada from India at a young age,

1058
00:59:43,200 --> 00:59:47,040
Speaker 2: and basically we were actually planning on settling in Montreal.

1059
00:59:47,880 --> 00:59:51,640
Speaker 2: I couldn't do that because there was just issues because

1060
00:59:51,720 --> 00:59:55,360
Speaker 2: I was like a teenager at the time, and my

1061
00:59:55,600 --> 00:59:57,960
Speaker 2: schooling would have been kind of messed up because I

1062
00:59:57,960 --> 01:00:01,520
Speaker 2: would have had to not go to school for like

1063
01:00:01,720 --> 01:00:04,400
Speaker 2: a year and a half while I learned French. So

1064
01:00:04,520 --> 01:00:06,560
Speaker 2: my parents were like, all right, well, we want you

1065
01:00:06,680 --> 01:00:09,240
Speaker 2: to like be on track with people your age, So

1066
01:00:09,880 --> 01:00:12,240
Speaker 2: we're just gonna go to Toronto and stead. It's a

1067
01:00:12,280 --> 01:00:14,240
Speaker 2: bit more of like a multicultural hub, and you know,

1068
01:00:14,440 --> 01:00:18,480
Speaker 2: there's people from like our family that's there versus no

1069
01:00:18,520 --> 01:00:25,040
Speaker 2: one in Montreal, right, and it's yeah, it's been where

1070
01:00:25,040 --> 01:00:28,479
Speaker 2: I've grown up for at least for the second half

1071
01:00:28,520 --> 01:00:32,920
Speaker 2: of my youth. It's where I met my partner. We

1072
01:00:33,240 --> 01:00:37,600
Speaker 2: both live in the city and have two amazing little cats,

1073
01:00:38,520 --> 01:00:43,200
Speaker 2: and currently at least for the next when I'm at two, yeah,

1074
01:00:43,320 --> 01:00:45,440
Speaker 2: for the next three years. I also do need to

1075
01:00:45,520 --> 01:00:49,120
Speaker 2: stay within well, I need to be able to go

1076
01:00:49,360 --> 01:00:52,960
Speaker 2: to or be in sort of like traveling distance, or

1077
01:00:53,520 --> 01:00:55,400
Speaker 2: I need to be able to go to a hospital

1078
01:00:55,440 --> 01:01:00,880
Speaker 2: because I'm still in remission from from my cancer that

1079
01:01:00,960 --> 01:01:03,360
Speaker 2: I had a couple of years back, and I'm still

1080
01:01:03,480 --> 01:01:06,440
Speaker 2: in full re mission. I'm set to make a full recovery.

1081
01:01:06,600 --> 01:01:10,320
Speaker 2: My doctor has told me that you are more likely

1082
01:01:10,560 --> 01:01:16,040
Speaker 2: to die from from obesity related health issues than you

1083
01:01:16,160 --> 01:01:19,440
Speaker 2: are from cancer, which is a good sign. But I

1084
01:01:19,520 --> 01:01:22,680
Speaker 2: still do need to hit my five year mark before

1085
01:01:22,720 --> 01:01:24,520
Speaker 2: I'm considered quote unquote cured.

1086
01:01:28,160 --> 01:01:40,600
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, okay, I gotta what's your name again, man, Maddie, Maddie. Listen, Matti,

1087
01:01:40,600 --> 01:01:42,600
Speaker 1: here's the thing. We can talk. Listen, Maddie, here's the thing.

1088
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:45,480
Speaker 1: Life's I'm not gonna say life sucks, but it's hard.

1089
01:01:45,600 --> 01:01:48,760
Speaker 1: I don't have a lot of I don't really have

1090
01:01:49,040 --> 01:01:49,840
Speaker 1: answers for this.

1091
01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:54,400
Speaker 2: Man. I know it's okay, I get it. Like I'm

1092
01:01:54,560 --> 01:01:58,800
Speaker 2: just this fucking random cam from Canada with all my shit.

1093
01:02:00,880 --> 01:02:09,080
Speaker 1: Okay, well shit, I mean, so you don't want to

1094
01:02:09,120 --> 01:02:11,680
Speaker 1: be a desk worker? Are you saving money?

1095
01:02:11,840 --> 01:02:12,040
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1096
01:02:12,760 --> 01:02:13,320
Speaker 1: I am?

1097
01:02:13,560 --> 01:02:17,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I so right now, at least, like the plan is,

1098
01:02:17,680 --> 01:02:21,760
Speaker 2: I'm I'm I have my emergency fund covered. I am

1099
01:02:22,800 --> 01:02:26,160
Speaker 2: almost set to buy myself like my MacBook, so I can,

1100
01:02:27,600 --> 01:02:31,120
Speaker 2: you know, take more of my productions outside of my apartment,

1101
01:02:31,960 --> 01:02:34,480
Speaker 2: just because like I find that when I when I

1102
01:02:34,560 --> 01:02:39,600
Speaker 2: work like anywhere else but from my home, it's a

1103
01:02:39,640 --> 01:02:43,320
Speaker 2: bit easier for me to like be creative. There's that,

1104
01:02:43,600 --> 01:02:47,120
Speaker 2: And then I also kind of like, through the past year,

1105
01:02:47,160 --> 01:02:50,320
Speaker 2: I've been sort of setting this expectation of myself of

1106
01:02:50,560 --> 01:02:55,040
Speaker 2: I'm going to put out some sort of project, whether

1107
01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:59,840
Speaker 2: it's an EP or even a single, And the main

1108
01:03:00,160 --> 01:03:02,480
Speaker 2: with that is like I will book a show, I

1109
01:03:02,560 --> 01:03:05,600
Speaker 2: will I will do all of these things so that

1110
01:03:05,880 --> 01:03:08,160
Speaker 2: at least, you know, in a year's time, in a

1111
01:03:08,200 --> 01:03:11,160
Speaker 2: couple of years time, if I'm still at my desk job,

1112
01:03:11,240 --> 01:03:14,160
Speaker 2: if I if this does not take me anywhere, I

1113
01:03:14,240 --> 01:03:18,440
Speaker 2: can at least still kind of look back at the

1114
01:03:18,560 --> 01:03:20,720
Speaker 2: work I put in and the effort that I put

1115
01:03:20,760 --> 01:03:23,919
Speaker 2: in and say, you know what, I might not enjoy

1116
01:03:24,120 --> 01:03:27,400
Speaker 2: every aspect of my job, but at least I did

1117
01:03:28,040 --> 01:03:30,480
Speaker 2: this cool thing that I thought was good.

1118
01:03:31,000 --> 01:03:33,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think that's and I think that's great.

1119
01:03:33,240 --> 01:03:39,760
Speaker 1: I think that's great. The thing I would say is like,

1120
01:03:41,160 --> 01:03:45,920
Speaker 1: if I mean making money off of like music is

1121
01:03:46,000 --> 01:03:50,320
Speaker 1: a tough thing to do, but I would say, if

1122
01:03:50,360 --> 01:03:53,360
Speaker 1: I were you, I would like figure out how to

1123
01:03:53,400 --> 01:03:55,440
Speaker 1: get your burn rate down to as little as you

1124
01:03:55,520 --> 01:03:59,000
Speaker 1: possibly can, save as much money as humanly possible from

1125
01:03:59,520 --> 01:04:02,760
Speaker 1: your desk job, figure out how to use those savings

1126
01:04:02,920 --> 01:04:07,240
Speaker 1: to invest in something that you know makes you money

1127
01:04:07,360 --> 01:04:11,840
Speaker 1: independent of your job. I mean these are kind of

1128
01:04:11,880 --> 01:04:14,640
Speaker 1: figure outable things financially, but also on the way. It's like,

1129
01:04:15,360 --> 01:04:16,880
Speaker 1: you know, as long as you're able to make the

1130
01:04:17,080 --> 01:04:20,640
Speaker 1: art and you're not letting your job like seep into

1131
01:04:20,720 --> 01:04:23,280
Speaker 1: every aspect of your existence, like your identity. You know,

1132
01:04:23,360 --> 01:04:25,360
Speaker 1: you said you had an identity crisis. Yeah, like you

1133
01:04:25,400 --> 01:04:29,400
Speaker 1: don't want to let your job be your identity. It's

1134
01:04:29,400 --> 01:04:32,440
Speaker 1: okay to and it's okay. It's okay to have something

1135
01:04:32,560 --> 01:04:36,880
Speaker 1: that makes you money and something that you really identify

1136
01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:38,720
Speaker 1: with and have those be two separate things.

1137
01:04:41,440 --> 01:04:46,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you're that makes sense. I mean, like, I

1138
01:04:47,240 --> 01:04:51,800
Speaker 2: think this past year has been a realization of there

1139
01:04:51,840 --> 01:04:55,160
Speaker 2: are there are things outside of work, And the problem

1140
01:04:55,200 --> 01:04:57,120
Speaker 2: with the company that I work at is that there's

1141
01:04:57,240 --> 01:05:00,800
Speaker 2: very much a there's very much like a s of no,

1142
01:05:01,040 --> 01:05:03,440
Speaker 2: we expect you to like kind of enjoy being with

1143
01:05:03,520 --> 01:05:06,360
Speaker 2: all your coworkers all the time, So go and have

1144
01:05:06,600 --> 01:05:08,840
Speaker 2: lunch and dinner with them, like, you know, let's let's

1145
01:05:08,880 --> 01:05:11,840
Speaker 2: do a quarterly outing with everyone, and oh, let's all

1146
01:05:11,920 --> 01:05:12,560
Speaker 2: go for like.

1147
01:05:13,160 --> 01:05:15,840
Speaker 3: I have to do.

1148
01:05:15,920 --> 01:05:17,520
Speaker 1: You have to attend those things.

1149
01:05:18,760 --> 01:05:22,880
Speaker 2: Are the most part well it's like I don't have to,

1150
01:05:23,960 --> 01:05:26,440
Speaker 2: but you can definitely tell that there would be some

1151
01:05:26,640 --> 01:05:30,720
Speaker 2: like serious judgment or you know, there's like there's very

1152
01:05:30,800 --> 01:05:33,840
Speaker 2: much a you're not really a team player kind of

1153
01:05:35,080 --> 01:05:38,000
Speaker 2: I kind of approach to people that don't like partake

1154
01:05:38,040 --> 01:05:42,160
Speaker 2: in all of these outside of work events. And everyone

1155
01:05:42,440 --> 01:05:45,520
Speaker 2: over there is like in their late late twenties to

1156
01:05:47,880 --> 01:05:50,120
Speaker 2: you know, mid thirties. I think it's one of the

1157
01:05:50,160 --> 01:05:52,640
Speaker 2: oldest guys in our department. It must be like touching

1158
01:05:52,680 --> 01:05:58,720
Speaker 2: fifties soon. So it's not like they're old, but it's

1159
01:05:58,880 --> 01:06:02,800
Speaker 2: very much a like I I'm someone who's like, look,

1160
01:06:03,080 --> 01:06:05,920
Speaker 2: I I don't mind the work that I do. I

1161
01:06:06,000 --> 01:06:08,280
Speaker 2: think it's uh I you know, I think it's a

1162
01:06:08,360 --> 01:06:11,160
Speaker 2: lot better than working a retail job. Like I I

1163
01:06:11,280 --> 01:06:14,800
Speaker 2: fucking hate retail for that matter. Who are all to

1164
01:06:15,040 --> 01:06:18,520
Speaker 2: everyone in your chat who's a retail or a service worker,

1165
01:06:18,880 --> 01:06:22,480
Speaker 2: I genuinely love and adore you because you are doing

1166
01:06:22,560 --> 01:06:26,680
Speaker 2: some hard ship that I could not. And so but

1167
01:06:26,760 --> 01:06:29,720
Speaker 2: getting back to the point, like I might be good

1168
01:06:29,760 --> 01:06:32,040
Speaker 2: at the work. I might think it's not the worst

1169
01:06:32,080 --> 01:06:35,360
Speaker 2: thing ever, but it's still my job. You know, I'm not.

1170
01:06:35,400 --> 01:06:38,240
Speaker 2: I'm not sure to be everyone's best bud, and I can't.

1171
01:06:38,320 --> 01:06:38,840
Speaker 2: I can't.

1172
01:06:39,040 --> 01:06:41,400
Speaker 1: You don't have to be, you don't have. You don't have,

1173
01:06:41,600 --> 01:06:43,080
Speaker 1: you don't have to be. And if they judge, then

1174
01:06:43,240 --> 01:06:46,440
Speaker 1: fuck them. You know you're there to make, You're there

1175
01:06:46,480 --> 01:06:48,640
Speaker 1: to make. It's okay, it's okay to be. Like, listen,

1176
01:06:48,720 --> 01:06:51,000
Speaker 1: I submit to the fact that in life I got

1177
01:06:51,120 --> 01:06:52,440
Speaker 1: to do things I don't want to do to make

1178
01:06:52,520 --> 01:06:55,320
Speaker 1: money so that I can, you know, afford to live.

1179
01:06:55,960 --> 01:06:58,800
Speaker 1: And it's okay to put in the bare amount of

1180
01:06:58,960 --> 01:07:02,600
Speaker 1: effort into those things because energy, because your energy is finite.

1181
01:07:03,240 --> 01:07:06,160
Speaker 1: You know your time, Your time is finite. It's always

1182
01:07:06,200 --> 01:07:09,400
Speaker 1: your energy. And so just conserve as much of your

1183
01:07:09,400 --> 01:07:11,400
Speaker 1: fucking energy as you possibly can for the things you

1184
01:07:11,520 --> 01:07:14,400
Speaker 1: actually want to put it into. And if they judge you,

1185
01:07:14,880 --> 01:07:16,600
Speaker 1: that's great. They could judge you, but they can't fucking

1186
01:07:16,680 --> 01:07:18,960
Speaker 1: fire you for not going to this thing that you're

1187
01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:23,040
Speaker 1: not getting paid to go to. At least I think

1188
01:07:23,120 --> 01:07:25,440
Speaker 1: they can't. I don't know what Canadian labor laws are like,

1189
01:07:25,600 --> 01:07:28,840
Speaker 1: but you know what, who you know? Fuck it, don't don't.

1190
01:07:29,000 --> 01:07:33,120
Speaker 1: Don't expend any energy that you don't have on on

1191
01:07:33,640 --> 01:07:37,280
Speaker 1: this job, you know, like expend them, expend the minimum

1192
01:07:37,360 --> 01:07:41,080
Speaker 1: amount of it. Figure out the minimum amount of work,

1193
01:07:41,320 --> 01:07:43,680
Speaker 1: energy and time that you need to put in to

1194
01:07:43,840 --> 01:07:46,080
Speaker 1: make the amount of money that you need to live.

1195
01:07:46,680 --> 01:07:48,720
Speaker 1: And figure out the minimum amount of money that you

1196
01:07:48,840 --> 01:07:52,360
Speaker 1: need to live, and then from there, spend your finite

1197
01:07:52,400 --> 01:07:54,280
Speaker 1: amount of time and energy on the things that you

1198
01:07:54,360 --> 01:07:55,760
Speaker 1: actually want to do. When you don't have to wrap

1199
01:07:55,800 --> 01:07:58,520
Speaker 1: your identity up in it in it, you know, you

1200
01:07:58,560 --> 01:08:00,640
Speaker 1: don't have to wrap your identity up and in your job.

1201
01:08:00,720 --> 01:08:02,480
Speaker 1: You can just do the things that you want to do.

1202
01:08:04,680 --> 01:08:08,840
Speaker 1: That's my rant for your for your situation.

1203
01:08:09,080 --> 01:08:09,240
Speaker 2: Man.

1204
01:08:10,920 --> 01:08:13,000
Speaker 1: But I I don't think you should let this, you know,

1205
01:08:13,200 --> 01:08:20,240
Speaker 1: crumble you into an identity crisis, right, thanks? Well for sure,

1206
01:08:20,400 --> 01:08:24,280
Speaker 1: Yeah I don't. This doesn't you know. I'll just repeat

1207
01:08:24,320 --> 01:08:29,719
Speaker 1: everything I just said, but uh again on on on paper,

1208
01:08:29,840 --> 01:08:32,720
Speaker 1: on paper again, like like, work it out on paper, man,

1209
01:08:32,720 --> 01:08:35,320
Speaker 1: I'm dead serious. Go go into your journal working out

1210
01:08:35,360 --> 01:08:36,040
Speaker 1: on paper.

1211
01:08:36,160 --> 01:08:40,400
Speaker 7: The minimum amounts of money you need to live, and

1212
01:08:40,520 --> 01:08:45,240
Speaker 7: then the minimum amounts of energy and time that you

1213
01:08:46,320 --> 01:08:49,160
Speaker 7: need to put in and abide by that, and then

1214
01:08:49,200 --> 01:08:50,639
Speaker 7: everything else can go fuck itself.

1215
01:08:52,640 --> 01:08:56,599
Speaker 2: Yeah, neat, thanks man for sure.

1216
01:08:56,640 --> 01:08:57,679
Speaker 1: What's your name again?

1217
01:09:01,760 --> 01:09:06,639
Speaker 2: I'm sorry it's funny because like, I remember your name, Maddie.

1218
01:09:07,000 --> 01:09:07,880
Speaker 2: My name is Maddie.

1219
01:09:08,520 --> 01:09:12,040
Speaker 1: Maddie like Maddi heally the guy from the thing.

1220
01:09:13,320 --> 01:09:14,760
Speaker 2: Definitely not like that.

1221
01:09:15,200 --> 01:09:15,320
Speaker 1: Uh.

1222
01:09:15,560 --> 01:09:21,040
Speaker 2: It's an Arabic name, like uh, like Macbeth. But you know,

1223
01:09:21,920 --> 01:09:25,200
Speaker 2: I usually told people call me Maddie because again, I

1224
01:09:25,360 --> 01:09:29,120
Speaker 2: moved here from like a country where people can pronounce

1225
01:09:29,160 --> 01:09:31,639
Speaker 2: it properly. Actually, to be fair, they kind of didn't.

1226
01:09:31,760 --> 01:09:34,240
Speaker 2: But the point is that for me, it's more of

1227
01:09:34,320 --> 01:09:36,760
Speaker 2: like I'd rather have you call me what I want

1228
01:09:36,840 --> 01:09:40,280
Speaker 2: to be called, rather than here's someone's rendition of my name.

1229
01:09:41,640 --> 01:09:43,520
Speaker 2: Like imagine if I called you lightly.

1230
01:09:44,800 --> 01:09:47,800
Speaker 1: People do. That's why people call me that. When if I, like,

1231
01:09:47,960 --> 01:09:50,280
Speaker 1: I'm at a place and I order a thing, they

1232
01:09:50,360 --> 01:09:52,840
Speaker 1: called me lightly. I hate that. By the way, am

1233
01:09:52,880 --> 01:09:55,400
Speaker 1: I going to Okay, I'm gonna go on a ramp, Maddie,

1234
01:09:57,080 --> 01:10:01,240
Speaker 1: I fucking hate you know, fucking star Bucks was like, Oh,

1235
01:10:01,360 --> 01:10:03,800
Speaker 1: it'll make people you know, like us better if we

1236
01:10:04,040 --> 01:10:07,800
Speaker 1: call their names out when we give them coffee. I

1237
01:10:07,880 --> 01:10:11,599
Speaker 1: think Starbucks invented that shit, right, I hate that shit.

1238
01:10:11,640 --> 01:10:13,439
Speaker 1: I hate every time I go to a food place

1239
01:10:13,560 --> 01:10:16,000
Speaker 1: they need my name. I don't want to give you, guys,

1240
01:10:16,040 --> 01:10:18,680
Speaker 1: any personal information I miss I miss when I was

1241
01:10:18,720 --> 01:10:21,840
Speaker 1: a number I want to be. I come to McDonald's

1242
01:10:21,880 --> 01:10:25,360
Speaker 1: to be dehumanized, Okay, to eat fucking slop like a

1243
01:10:25,479 --> 01:10:28,360
Speaker 1: pig I when I am in McDonald When I'm at McDonald's,

1244
01:10:28,439 --> 01:10:31,960
Speaker 1: I am not lyle. I am number one oh five.

1245
01:10:32,120 --> 01:10:33,720
Speaker 1: And that's exactly how I want it to be. I

1246
01:10:33,760 --> 01:10:38,720
Speaker 1: don't need to get chummy with the the organizations that

1247
01:10:38,840 --> 01:10:41,479
Speaker 1: I'm getting my slot from. Okay, I want to I

1248
01:10:41,560 --> 01:10:43,200
Speaker 1: want to clock in. I want to be in order

1249
01:10:43,280 --> 01:10:46,680
Speaker 1: one oh five. And I don't want anyone to have

1250
01:10:46,880 --> 01:10:48,920
Speaker 1: to I don't want anyone to have to learn my name.

1251
01:10:49,400 --> 01:10:52,520
Speaker 1: I want it to be a very very very transactional,

1252
01:10:53,080 --> 01:10:57,640
Speaker 1: impersonal process when I go to these places. I was

1253
01:10:57,720 --> 01:10:59,720
Speaker 1: at Taco Bell the other day, I had to put

1254
01:10:59,760 --> 01:11:02,960
Speaker 1: in my name. I don't want to do that. I

1255
01:11:03,080 --> 01:11:06,120
Speaker 1: want I want them to call me Order five seventy eight.

1256
01:11:06,160 --> 01:11:07,719
Speaker 1: I don't want it to be like Order for Lil.

1257
01:11:07,840 --> 01:11:13,400
Speaker 1: I just want, you know, it could be a purely transactional,

1258
01:11:14,240 --> 01:11:19,160
Speaker 1: disgusting alley Way endeavor picking up.

1259
01:11:19,720 --> 01:11:22,000
Speaker 2: I need to sorry, Lyle, I need I need to

1260
01:11:22,040 --> 01:11:25,080
Speaker 2: interject here. So then you said you want this to

1261
01:11:25,160 --> 01:11:28,080
Speaker 2: be purely transactional. So you're okay being called a number?

1262
01:11:28,880 --> 01:11:32,080
Speaker 2: So why not why not have your order called out

1263
01:11:32,080 --> 01:11:32,600
Speaker 2: by what it is?

1264
01:11:32,720 --> 01:11:32,760
Speaker 3: Like?

1265
01:11:32,800 --> 01:11:34,560
Speaker 2: For example, I always get a flat white when it

1266
01:11:34,640 --> 01:11:37,080
Speaker 2: goes and get coffee, you know, why not like, oh,

1267
01:11:37,160 --> 01:11:38,960
Speaker 2: I've got a flat white and that's it.

1268
01:11:42,439 --> 01:11:46,040
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know the whole it's any

1269
01:11:46,120 --> 01:11:49,439
Speaker 1: Any rant that I go on, uh is not meant

1270
01:11:49,479 --> 01:11:51,559
Speaker 1: to be questioned, you know, Like I mean that's how

1271
01:11:51,680 --> 01:11:55,040
Speaker 1: rants are, right, Like if someone's ranting and then like

1272
01:11:55,080 --> 01:11:57,120
Speaker 1: if you're ranting and then someone says, oh but what

1273
01:11:57,200 --> 01:11:59,840
Speaker 1: about this? Then you go, well, h okay, you're probably right.

1274
01:12:00,040 --> 01:12:01,360
Speaker 1: But the whole point of a rant is that it's

1275
01:12:01,360 --> 01:12:07,479
Speaker 1: an uninterrupted thing where you know, nobody questions you about it.

1276
01:12:08,720 --> 01:12:12,280
Speaker 1: So sorry, this is really stupid.

1277
01:12:13,080 --> 01:12:17,400
Speaker 2: No, that's fair. My apologies, man, I don't I don't

1278
01:12:17,400 --> 01:12:18,839
Speaker 2: know what I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

1279
01:12:20,320 --> 01:12:21,920
Speaker 1: Mattie, Maddie is nice to talk to you.

1280
01:12:22,000 --> 01:12:22,120
Speaker 4: Man.

1281
01:12:22,160 --> 01:12:24,759
Speaker 1: I hope you do you have any music out.

1282
01:12:25,960 --> 01:12:31,320
Speaker 2: I don't, but tell you what. In let let's let's

1283
01:12:31,320 --> 01:12:34,080
Speaker 2: do this in about six months time from now. I'll

1284
01:12:34,120 --> 01:12:35,479
Speaker 2: try to call back and let you know if I

1285
01:12:35,560 --> 01:12:37,040
Speaker 2: have any any music out.

1286
01:12:39,200 --> 01:12:41,840
Speaker 1: Okay, cool, that sounds good. Well, good luck, Mattie. I

1287
01:12:41,880 --> 01:12:44,559
Speaker 1: hope you. I hope you get your work done. Here's,

1288
01:12:44,640 --> 01:12:46,280
Speaker 1: by the way, just one more thing, and this is

1289
01:12:46,320 --> 01:12:48,160
Speaker 1: how I'm actually and by the way, this is this

1290
01:12:48,280 --> 01:12:49,960
Speaker 1: is actually how I'm feeling about a lot of things

1291
01:12:50,000 --> 01:12:53,439
Speaker 1: in my life lately, as I'm kind of like shifting

1292
01:12:53,520 --> 01:12:57,800
Speaker 1: around the kind of work that I do. The work

1293
01:12:57,960 --> 01:13:01,000
Speaker 1: doing the work that you're happy with is all that matters,

1294
01:13:01,240 --> 01:13:04,080
Speaker 1: you know. So as long as you're making the music

1295
01:13:04,120 --> 01:13:05,479
Speaker 1: you want to make and you're doing the work that

1296
01:13:05,520 --> 01:13:07,800
Speaker 1: you're happy with, that's that's what matters the most. So

1297
01:13:07,920 --> 01:13:11,360
Speaker 1: I hope that that's what you end up doing. Thank

1298
01:13:11,400 --> 01:13:13,240
Speaker 1: you for calling, Maddie. I'll see you around the universe.

1299
01:13:14,439 --> 01:13:20,400
Speaker 2: Thank you, cheers, take care man Later, I.

1300
01:13:20,400 --> 01:13:22,200
Speaker 1: Would he say, he said, why don't they have why

1301
01:13:22,240 --> 01:13:24,160
Speaker 1: don't you have them call it out by the well,

1302
01:13:24,160 --> 01:13:26,160
Speaker 1: I don't. You can't really have them call it out

1303
01:13:26,200 --> 01:13:32,640
Speaker 1: by anything. They have their own processes. But that's the

1304
01:13:32,680 --> 01:13:35,280
Speaker 1: best part of having a of ranting on a podcast

1305
01:13:35,360 --> 01:13:39,080
Speaker 1: as no one questions you. That's how that's how people

1306
01:13:39,160 --> 01:13:43,920
Speaker 1: get away with saying, uh, you know, stupid things that

1307
01:13:43,960 --> 01:13:47,120
Speaker 1: aren't true on podcasts all the time. Is they don't

1308
01:13:47,120 --> 01:13:49,880
Speaker 1: have somebody going like, well what about this? You know,

1309
01:13:49,920 --> 01:13:53,160
Speaker 1: the whole point is, uh, is it this disease? A

1310
01:13:53,320 --> 01:13:58,759
Speaker 1: stupid rant? Sorry, I'm sorry. Okay goes on the line,

1311
01:14:00,080 --> 01:14:00,920
Speaker 1: calls every.

1312
01:14:00,760 --> 01:14:03,200
Speaker 4: Night every big goestro on his eye.

1313
01:14:03,320 --> 01:14:03,960
Speaker 2: He's teaching you

1314
01:14:04,160 --> 01:14:07,959
Speaker 1: How to live your life, but he's not really an expert.