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Speaker 1: The Fred Show is on. It's Stay or Go. Kyle

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Speaker 1: is here. Hello, Kyle, good morning, Hey, good morning guys.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to the program. Kyle stare go. So it's like

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Speaker 1: a group therapy debating some relationship drama. Here. What you got,

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Speaker 1: tell us your situation, then we're gonna talk about you

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Speaker 1: behind your back.

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Speaker 2: All right.

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Speaker 3: So honestly I need some help here. I've been with

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Speaker 3: my girlfriend for three years and I actually recently proposed.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, congratulations, it's amazing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you, thank you. However, unfortunately she told me

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Speaker 3: that she wasn't ready, but I mean she still wants

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Speaker 3: to be with me, she just needs more time.

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Speaker 1: I guess, So, were you one knee and propose and

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Speaker 1: then she's like eh or does she say yes? And

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Speaker 1: then like kind of circle.

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Speaker 3: Back, no, like I've proposed, and then she seems kind

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Speaker 3: of like really hesitate, like a little freaked out and uh,

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Speaker 3: and you know, basically it was like, hey, you know,

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Speaker 3: let's let's talk about this and yeah, so it was

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Speaker 3: just it was just kind of awkward. And you know,

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Speaker 3: we've definitely, like very very lightly talked about marriage in

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Speaker 3: the past. But but I guess to her when we

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Speaker 3: when we.

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Speaker 1: Talked about this.

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Speaker 3: From our impression was that, you know, it wouldn't be

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Speaker 3: for a while, And honestly, I just wanted to surprise

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Speaker 3: her and so I didn't end up taking her ring

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Speaker 3: shopping or anything. And she really kind of had no idea,

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Speaker 3: But I really did expect that.

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Speaker 1: She would, you know, say yes.

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Speaker 3: I mean we've you know, been together for a while,

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Speaker 3: and you know, I just kind of thought we were

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Speaker 3: ready for for the next step.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, three years. Your email says you've been together for

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Speaker 1: three years. Here's my thing. Yeah, and you said you

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Speaker 1: lightly talked about marriage. I remember I was a kid

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Speaker 1: and I was in a restaurant and somebody proposed in

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Speaker 1: the restaurant and we knew. I guess it kind of

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Speaker 1: as a buzz around the restaurant that was happening because

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Speaker 1: the guy set it up, like the dessert or something,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, like I don't know, the

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Speaker 1: waiter brought it out, and it was a whole production.

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Speaker 1: And I remember I was young and I asked my

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Speaker 1: parents at the time, I'm like, that must be so

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Speaker 1: nerve wracking, you know, this whole he had to sit

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Speaker 1: there and eat that whole dinner, not knowing what was

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Speaker 1: going to happen, and my parents were basically like, by

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Speaker 1: the time you get to the point where you're proposing,

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Speaker 1: you know the answer is going to be yes. And

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Speaker 1: you see these things where people say no, and I

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Speaker 1: kind of wonder, you know, either if it's fake or

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Speaker 1: because you see him online a lot of times, or

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Speaker 1: it's sporting events, like is it a guess or or

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Speaker 1: like is it impromptu or impulsive? And people didn't talk

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Speaker 1: about it ahead of time, But after three years, I

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Speaker 1: guess I would feel like when I proposed, then we

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Speaker 1: would know, well, you would be pretty sure what was

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Speaker 1: going to happen. So why do you think she's not ready?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, I mean, but you know, that's a great question.

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Speaker 3: You know, I don't know if she just is like,

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Speaker 3: you know, I don't know, if you know, wanting to

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Speaker 3: to have more financial stability. You know, I'm not sure.

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Speaker 3: I mean, honestly, I've talked to both friends and family

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Speaker 3: about it who know both of us, and they say

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Speaker 3: that she should be ready by now, and that they

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Speaker 3: think the relationship is, you know, pretty much kind of

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Speaker 3: on its last leg. But but the thing is, I mean,

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Speaker 3: am I really going to break up with someone?

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Speaker 4: You know?

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Speaker 3: Because she's not necessarily ready to make a lifelong come in.

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Speaker 3: And I mean I love her, you know, and it's

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Speaker 3: I don't know, I'm just curious, you guys if anyone

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Speaker 3: else kind of has like similar situations or stories Like

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Speaker 3: I'm at a loss here, Like I don't really know

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Speaker 3: what I should do. I mean, it's just been, you know,

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Speaker 3: super awkward. I mean we're still together and we're still fine,

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Speaker 3: but just this whole situation has made things you know.

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Speaker 1: Me, Is it fine though, Kyle? Like, is it Is

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Speaker 1: it back to normal? Is it as if you never proposed?

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Speaker 4: No?

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Speaker 3: I mean, you know, I think she's I think she's

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Speaker 3: still super apprehensive. So I mean I've just been trying

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Speaker 3: to play it careful and well she just hasn't no

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Speaker 3: go ahead, go ahead and go ahead. Yeah, lately, she

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Speaker 3: just hasn't wanted to talk about, like, you know, anything

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Speaker 3: deeper about our relationship. She just wants to you know,

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Speaker 3: Netflix and show when she gets home from work and

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Speaker 3: watch TV and you know, just keep it real casual

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Speaker 3: the way that it's always been.

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Speaker 1: What are you supposed to do now? Though? Are you

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Speaker 1: supposed to just wait a little while longer and then

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Speaker 1: do it all? Over again, or is she supposed to

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Speaker 1: tell you when she's ready for you to do it again?

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Speaker 1: Because I don't know. I mean, that's not something I

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Speaker 1: want to get rejected doing twice. I mean, how are

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Speaker 1: you supposed to know when it's time?

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Speaker 5: Right?

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Speaker 3: Man?

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Speaker 1: I have no idea? Yeah, how do you recover from that?

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Speaker 1: I want to Kyle, We're gonna talk about you behind

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Speaker 1: your back now and take some phone calls. But I'm

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Speaker 1: not sure. I wish you the best. I guess, I

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Speaker 1: guess again. I feel like after three years i'd be

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Speaker 1: pretty sure, and it sounds like you were, and then

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Speaker 1: you were a little surprised by the no. But then

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Speaker 1: you're saying everything's normal against kind of So I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Eight five five five nine one one three five you

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Speaker 1: can call it. You can Texas at number Kyle. Good

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Speaker 1: luck man, Sorry Kyle?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, thanks, goott.

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Speaker 1: Well, Kiky you say sorry, Kyle? Why sorry?

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Speaker 2: Kyle?

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Speaker 1: I'm just sorry that that happened to him. Boy, you

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Speaker 1: mean sorry, like this thing's over, Like it's not gonna

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Speaker 1: happen now.

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Speaker 6: Well, that's depending on what he's willing to tolerate. For me,

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Speaker 6: it would absolutely be over because I don't understand what

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Speaker 6: I didn't. We didn't have to go to the courthouse

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Speaker 6: and get married tomorrow. It's an engagement, So what are

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Speaker 6: your intentions? Are we doing this together or we're not.

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Speaker 1: That's a good point, you know, like you can get

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Speaker 1: engaged and be engaged for a long time.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, you don't have to go get married then the

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Speaker 6: same year like Kaitlin's friends. But you know, it's like,

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Speaker 6: so what would be your hesitation? And she may have

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Speaker 6: her own rights, especially when you talk about mixing finances

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Speaker 6: and you know, families and things like that. Could be

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Speaker 6: anything that she's just not ready to do. But what

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Speaker 6: are your intentions with him? This man is giving you

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Speaker 6: three years and he took the leap of asking you

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Speaker 6: for marriage. You're not ready, that's fine, You're entitled to that.

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Speaker 6: But then Kyle, like again, like you brought up, is

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Speaker 6: he supposed to wait six more months and then repropose,

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Speaker 6: or you know, is he supposed to keep the ring

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Speaker 6: or take the ring back to the store? Like what

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Speaker 6: do you want this man to do? I feel sorry

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Speaker 6: for him in this case. But they had the company.

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Speaker 7: They lightly had a conversation and she said she wasn't

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Speaker 7: ready and after he proposed.

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Speaker 8: No.

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Speaker 1: Before he said it, he said that he wasn't.

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Speaker 7: They had they lightly talked about marriage, and she didn't

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Speaker 7: think she was being ready for a while, and he goes, oh,

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Speaker 7: let me propose.

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Speaker 6: Well you say not ready, Like, what are you doing?

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Speaker 6: Are you still you got other man? Well you still?

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Speaker 1: I do kind of wonder after three years, like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: are you are you still unsure? Because I would think

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Speaker 1: if you're still unsure about a person after three years,

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Speaker 1: then it's probably not your person, right, we mean life commitment,

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Speaker 1: but you don't have to do it right away. But

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Speaker 1: I mean I just think, really, like what And I

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Speaker 1: realized it could be different for everyone. But if I'm

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Speaker 1: with somebody for three years and they're not sure after

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Speaker 1: that period of time that they know me well enough

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Speaker 1: to be with me for a lot longer, then I

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Speaker 1: wonder like, what are we doing? I would agree with you,

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Speaker 1: what are we doing?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Life is short, you know what I mean? You could

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Speaker 1: say you don't want to be married, but you want

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Speaker 1: to be with this person forever. I mean, there's a

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Speaker 1: lot of variables here, but she's not saying any of that.

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Speaker 1: She's just like, well, not yet, And then they continue

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Speaker 1: on with their relate. I don't know, this is interesting.

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Speaker 1: Hey Katie hid Hi, Katie, good morning. What do you think? So,

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Speaker 1: if you're just tuning in this dude has been with

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Speaker 1: his girlfriend for three years. They lightly talked about marriage.

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Speaker 1: She said she wasn't ready. He proposed anyway, she said no.

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Speaker 1: They went back to being I guess just a couple,

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Speaker 1: and he says, it's kind of the same but not exactly.

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Speaker 1: What do you do? How do you recover from that?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: So I actually was dating right now for her, hunting

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Speaker 4: for six years when he proposed to me, and it

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Speaker 4: was a complete and total surprise. I mean, we also

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Speaker 4: talked about marriage and knew that maybe down the line

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Speaker 4: it would be for us, but I think that I

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Speaker 4: was not expecting it at that time. It had a

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Speaker 4: complete and total welbough But never in my mind did

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Speaker 4: across me that he was not the person. I think

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Speaker 4: that I was scared that it would be right now

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Speaker 4: and that we weren't ready, you know, like we were

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Speaker 4: just living in together and all of these things had

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Speaker 4: to happen first. But then we were engaged for two

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Speaker 4: years and you know, we made it work because at

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Speaker 4: the end of the day, like we were each other's

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Speaker 4: people that we wanted to marry. So I think that

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Speaker 4: women know when they want to marry somebody and when

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Speaker 4: they don't, And I think it happens faster possibly for

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Speaker 4: women than for men where they know. And so this

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Speaker 4: is all very concerning. I think that maybe she's just

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Speaker 4: go into it and he should cut us off.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, no, I don't know how you recovered, Katie.

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Speaker 1: And then if she's not clear, Yeah, I mean.

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Speaker 4: It's so awkward.

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Speaker 1: I feel so bad. Yeah I do, you too, Katie.

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Speaker 1: Thank you have a good day, you too.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think if you're going to say no to somebody's proposal,

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Speaker 1: then you better be really clear on what what your

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Speaker 1: expectation is then, because I mean, that's a that's a

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Speaker 1: big deal for a man or a woman whoever's doing

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Speaker 1: the proposal. But in my case, that's a big deal.

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Speaker 1: When I get on one knee and proposed to you.

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Speaker 1: I hope I'm doing that one time with one person.

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Speaker 1: That's a big Now, the ring ugly, I understand.

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Speaker 5: But but like I said, like I also think if sorry, god.

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Speaker 7: No, like they have to have more than this one

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Speaker 7: little conversation, Like if you're with someone for three years,

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Speaker 7: you have to know, like like especially like if I

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Speaker 7: don't know her background, like maybe her parents are divorced

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Speaker 7: or more like that, she might be hesitant about getting

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Speaker 7: married because she's seen, you know, break up here in

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Speaker 7: her family. You can't just have this small conversation be like, hey,

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Speaker 7: you want to get married someday. Yeah, sure, it's got

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Speaker 7: to be more than.

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Speaker 1: He did kind of go for it, even though she

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Speaker 1: said she wasn't right ready.

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Speaker 5: So there needs to be lots of deep conversations about

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Speaker 5: all kinds of things. And I don't think it's all

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Speaker 5: women that automatically know. I'm a woman who's terrified of commitment,

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Speaker 5: you know. And I don't think it's like gender specific.

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Speaker 1: Although how you doing? I'm good? Although what do you do?

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Speaker 1: Stare or go? Go?

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Speaker 2: I mean, if there's been three years and he can't

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Speaker 2: get like a clear answer or they can't discuss it,

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Speaker 2: she just comes home from work and wants to chill, well,

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Speaker 2: I don't think they have the communication to get married.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's probably true. I mean, again, she

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Speaker 1: should have some clear directives for this guy, because she

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Speaker 1: should know, Okay, that was a big deal what just

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Speaker 1: happened right there? And but she doesn't. But then again,

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Speaker 1: he wasn't listening, so you know, maybe I would be

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Speaker 1: offended by that even like, why are you putting me

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Speaker 1: in this position as the woman? Why am I in

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Speaker 1: this position? I told you I wasn't ready. We haven't

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Speaker 1: talked about it. Why do I have to tell you?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 1: Like that's a burden on me now, So I see

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Speaker 1: both sides of this. Although thank you, have a good day. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it goes back to I think there's some awareness. But

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Speaker 1: then again, people get engaged super fast. I mean, it happens.

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Speaker 1: It happens all different ways. Amber, Hi, good morning.

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Speaker 5: Good morning, How are you Hey?

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Speaker 1: Great, thanks for listening, Thanks for calling, stair Go.

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Speaker 8: I think he should say, Okay, why I think he

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Speaker 8: should say because in my experience on my significant author

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Speaker 8: and bone together ten years this year, and we're us

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Speaker 8: now getting.

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Speaker 4: Married because of the benefit.

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Speaker 8: Of if either one of us gets sacam or in

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Speaker 8: the hospital, we need someone to make decisions. And in reality,

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Speaker 8: it's just a piece of paper holding you together.

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Speaker 3: And if she's not ready.

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Speaker 4: To be engaged, that shouldn't be an issue after three years.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well yeah, I think the question though, is this

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Speaker 1: dude wants it now? She doesn't. How do you recover

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Speaker 1: you know? And and are they even on the same

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Speaker 1: page at all about this? I don't know, Amber. Thank you,

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Speaker 1: have a good day. Good luck to you. By the way,

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Speaker 1: you too, Thank you get dad. I mean, I don't

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Speaker 1: care if you're together for twenty years and don't get engaged,

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Speaker 1: but you got to you gotta talk about it.

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Speaker 5: Everyone's timeline is different, though, like you should in three

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Speaker 5: years and this year and that year, and you should

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Speaker 5: know by then. I think that's unfair, Like everyone should

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Speaker 5: move at their own pace.

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Speaker 1: I mean, look at Kicky should be a big tim

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Speaker 1: for like two decades, twenty five years? Yeah, exactly three?

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Speaker 6: Then again, you know they don't have a ring, no

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Speaker 6: matter of fact, cow call me, send me a pitch.

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Speaker 1: Maybe maybe we're on the same page. See maybe so yeah,

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Speaker 1: and a surprise proposal will go just fine. We will

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Speaker 1: go just fine as long as the ring is cute. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: there you go. I am Hi, I'm good morning. Hey,

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Speaker 1: sare go, good morning. Thanks for calling.

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Speaker 9: I say, stay, but like you got to reevaluate how

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Speaker 9: well you think you know your girl if you're doing

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Speaker 9: public proposals. After very brief conversation about marriage.

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Speaker 1: M Hm, I'm telling you, what are these guys talking about?

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Speaker 1: Like they're not they're clearly not connected on well on

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Speaker 1: this and who knows what else.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, they're not on the same page. And like a

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Speaker 4: public proposal is a huge deal, Like it.

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Speaker 9: Puts her under a lot of pressure.

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Speaker 4: You're putting yourself under a lot of pressure.

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Speaker 9: And like, clearly you know her yes.

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Speaker 4: Wasn't locked in.

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Speaker 9: So he needs to kind of look look back on himself,

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Speaker 9: like where he missed the mark on that one.

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Speaker 1: I mean, he's gonna have to come up with a

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Speaker 1: whole new each now, a whole no, Oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna have to bake another cake and put the

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Speaker 1: ring in that thing and that cake will be good.

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Speaker 1: I mean, this is terrible. This is awful. Thank you em,

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Speaker 1: have a good day, you two day. A bunch of

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Speaker 1: texts here too. This is ridiculous to me, stay or go?

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Speaker 1: Why can't he ask her why she doesn't want to

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Speaker 1: get married? Well again, for some reason, that's a taboo topic,

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Speaker 1: like she I don't know, Hey, Jordan, Jordan, Hi, sorry,

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Speaker 1: that's all right, Jordan. Wait, tell you got a bunch

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Speaker 1: of radio shows on a hold, what's going on No.

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Speaker 2: I was having connections issues with my car.

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Speaker 1: Sorry, that's okay. I mean it's cloudy outside, so I

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Speaker 1: don't think anyone can hear us anyway, Supposedly that satellites

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Speaker 1: aren't working, or god knows what we're talking to ourselves

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Speaker 1: like most days, stare goo. I'm gonna give you the

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Speaker 1: final say, stay a going this one.

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Speaker 9: So I think that he should go, pending a deeper

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Speaker 9: conversation on her thoughts of marriage. Clearly, for him, marriage

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Speaker 9: is something that's really important to him, and there's a

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Speaker 9: chance that maybe she just doesn't want to get married.

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Speaker 9: And if that's the case, then I think he should

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Speaker 9: go because that's a big sacrifice that he would be

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Speaker 9: taking for, you know, someone that may not necessarily ever

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Speaker 9: want to take that step.

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Speaker 1: You know what they should do, Jordan, They should do

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Speaker 1: what a lot of people do and throw the hail

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Speaker 1: Mary when things are uncertain and have a kid. I

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Speaker 1: think that's that's the solution. Perfect. Yeah, oh yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: you see it happen all the time, like things aren't

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Speaker 1: going great, Let's have a kid, you know, let's introduce

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Speaker 1: another human into it. Like that's that is the most

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Speaker 1: that'll keep us together. Forever, you know. So that's what

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Speaker 1: I think. Don't get married, don't worry about that, just

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Speaker 1: get pregnant, right him.

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Speaker 9: I mean my parents were married and and they got

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Speaker 9: a divorce.

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Speaker 4: So maybe not.

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Speaker 1: Well that's mind too, Thank you, Jordan. Have a good day,

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Speaker 1: you guys. Yeah, there several divorced parents in here. They

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Speaker 1: made these masterpieces, Kalen, and then they got divorced. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean that so there, so go make a masterpiece

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Speaker 1: and then move on. Yeah. Yeah, thinks of course that's

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Speaker 1: that simple. Yeah, have a kid, yeah, save everything, fight

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Speaker 1: in front of them. Yeah right. Oh no, people don't

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Speaker 1: hold onto that for their whole lives or anything like that.