Speaker 1: And so this is a conversation that can get down
Speaker 1: a slippery slope super quick. You have to be careful
Speaker 1: with this. What's up, everybody. Welcome to the podcast, episode
Speaker 1: two hundred and four, and I've got Parker with me
Speaker 1: as a guest. What's going on man in the new setup?
Speaker 2: It looks great in here.
Speaker 1: Thanks man. I've got the new yee Fall Lunch tan hat.
Speaker 1: This is Ayee Outdoors. I really like this hat. You
Speaker 1: brought it. You brought it today. You brought up several
Speaker 1: options for me. You know. It shows this one. And
Speaker 1: I've also got this this black with the green Yeegee
Speaker 1: lure on the pocket T shirt. Love that one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, man, We're so pumped for this next phase in
Speaker 2: YEEZ life with you being off the road where pump
Speaker 2: fall lunch is always the most exciting time of the year. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So we have lots of fun stuff playing with EE.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like back to being a full time employee
Speaker 1: again at EE. It's really cool. But we answer your
Speaker 1: questions on this podcast. That's what we do. Email me
Speaker 1: Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. We'll walk through these
Speaker 1: like we're sitting around a table doing a podcast or
Speaker 1: like We're sitting in a truck heading down the road,
Speaker 1: and we're both in the cab and you say, hey, man,
Speaker 1: can I run something by? I got something that's been
Speaker 1: on my mind? And I say, sure, hit me. Parker,
Speaker 1: is your brain ready to answer these people's questions? And
Speaker 1: we're about to find out you haven't been on an
Speaker 1: episode in a long time.
Speaker 2: I think I'm gonna ask you more questions than answer
Speaker 2: the question.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, I mean, I've got so many of
Speaker 1: these and Parker and I don't have notes in front
Speaker 1: of us. We haven't talked about these questions at all.
Speaker 1: I haven't quished you on anything you don't have, like
Speaker 1: a stack of Winston Churchill quotes or something that you're
Speaker 1: gonna pull out. We're just literally going like we're sitting
Speaker 1: around a campfire, and I'll just start at the very
Speaker 1: first one. This one came today at eight fourteen am.
Speaker 1: Subject line says, needing motivation on my walk with Christ.
Speaker 1: Good day, Grangeer, Hope all is well with you and
Speaker 1: Amber and London and Lincoln and Maverick. I've been inspired
Speaker 1: by your testimony. I still haven't picked up my copy
Speaker 1: of Like a River, but I will soon. But I'm
Speaker 1: very inspired, inspired by how you proclaim the gospel so
Speaker 1: openly with your platform. My question is this what made
Speaker 1: you realize that you had to stop being a touring
Speaker 1: country singer to follow ministry. Was this considered after many
Speaker 1: sessions of prayer. I also desire to be a pastor.
Speaker 1: I believe I've been called to it, but I let
Speaker 1: other things get in the way of that. Instead of
Speaker 1: reading theology books, all waste my time with worldly things
Speaker 1: like playing video games or entertainment instead of being in
Speaker 1: God's word more, I've been inspired by how you want
Speaker 1: to give up the music stage and be on the
Speaker 1: church stage preaching the gospel message. That had a big
Speaker 1: that had to be a big sacrifice for you and
Speaker 1: your family, but you did it. Any words of advice
Speaker 1: on how to make these sacrifices in my life. I
Speaker 1: keep claiming how much I believe I'm called but and
Speaker 1: I say this to my pastor, but I'm not making
Speaker 1: these sacrifices. My wife, Diane thinks I just need to
Speaker 1: give it all up entirely, and I would love your
Speaker 1: take on this. At the same time, I wish my
Speaker 1: current church would help me more on my ministry, walk
Speaker 1: my current pastor knows about my desire to be a pastor,
Speaker 1: but he hasn't been mentoring me at all. Maybe he's
Speaker 1: just waiting for me to volunteer on a Sunday morning
Speaker 1: ministry to see if I'm really called to it. But
Speaker 1: my old church back home, when I was living in
Speaker 1: New York State, well, they allowed me to preach and
Speaker 1: I loved it. I'm gonna skip a little bit and
Speaker 1: go down to you're preaching. He says, you're preaching really
Speaker 1: speaks to me, and keep that light shining. Yeah, okay, cool.
Speaker 1: I think that's the gist of the email, and it
Speaker 1: says in Christ, Robert Taate. So it's interesting. I get
Speaker 1: a lot of emails like this, people that say, oh,
Speaker 1: I see what you're doing. I too have been called,
Speaker 1: And sometimes I feel like we can kind of toss
Speaker 1: that that idea out. I've been called, but calling has
Speaker 1: an action to it. In fact, it is action. It's
Speaker 1: less declaration and more action. And so I would say this, Robert.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of things I could say about your email,
Speaker 1: and I want to encourage you, and I want to
Speaker 1: thank you for emailing and thank you for being honest
Speaker 1: and vulnerable. But I would I would say that if
Speaker 1: you are more concerned with video games and worldly things
Speaker 1: and entertainment, then that's a really good sign that you
Speaker 1: shouldn't be at the pulpit right now and you should
Speaker 1: really pump the brakes on that whole thought. I mean,
Speaker 1: my first thought was I'm reading this is I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: is seminary in this discussion? Because that's that's like the
Speaker 1: thing is, where is seminary? Where's to talk about seminary? Parker?
Speaker 1: What you got?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I kind of hear him talk about having a
Speaker 2: lack of motivation for godly things versus worldly things. So
Speaker 2: that's kind of the first part that you could kind
Speaker 2: of touch on. And the second part is how he
Speaker 2: feels discontent in his church and how it feels like
Speaker 2: they're not resourcing him correctly. So just to kind of
Speaker 2: slice that neatly, what would you say to someone who's
Speaker 2: just not feeling motivated for Christ? Do they just need
Speaker 2: to work harder, do they need to just be more disciplined,
Speaker 2: do they need to wake up earlier?
Speaker 1: What do you think about that? Okay, Well, I mean
Speaker 1: you're kind of asking to things. I mean, are we
Speaker 1: talking about salvation? Are we talking about a call the ministry.
Speaker 2: Initially, I'm just kind of talking about someone who's probably
Speaker 2: like a lot of people listening who are just like
Speaker 2: I love that you're into Jesus so much, and I
Speaker 2: wish that I was more motivated. How do I become
Speaker 2: more motivated to read my Bible more or to be
Speaker 2: more interested in godly things? Because the world says that
Speaker 2: it's all about, you know, a work ethic and having discipline,
Speaker 2: when my mind, just the first thing that comes to
Speaker 2: my while you're thinking to me is just having prayer,
Speaker 2: going straight to prayer and asking the Lord to give
Speaker 2: you that desire to read his word more, to love
Speaker 2: others more, because it's not something that's going to come
Speaker 2: naturally to us.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I always think about the Psalms. I always think
Speaker 1: about because the Psalms really changed my life. And listen
Speaker 1: to and Psalm forty two. Psalm forty two one says,
Speaker 1: as a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my
Speaker 1: soul for you, Oh God, my soul thirst for God,
Speaker 1: for the living God. It's like I hear that if
Speaker 1: you could say that, if you could believe that, if
Speaker 1: you could fuel that in your own quiet time, then
Speaker 1: that's the foundation to build upon. And if you can't,
Speaker 1: then you say, God, I read this and Psalm forty two,
Speaker 1: and I don't really feel that. I like video games more,
Speaker 1: give me a heart for that. Give me that kind
Speaker 1: of heart. I want to fuel that. Because ministry, you're
Speaker 1: calling all that stuff way kick that can way down
Speaker 1: the road. You got to feel this first. You gotta
Speaker 1: think as a deer pants for flowing streams, so so
Speaker 1: so pants my soul for you, Oh God, if you
Speaker 1: could say that and mean that, that's the foundation you're
Speaker 1: building upon. It starts with you in your house, in
Speaker 1: your household. This isn't about how many reps you're getting
Speaker 1: preaching at your church. This isn't about if your pastor
Speaker 1: doesn't believe you or not because your pastor's thinking, show me,
Speaker 1: show me. Don't tell me you've been called. Show me
Speaker 1: you've been called, and you show them you've been called
Speaker 1: by how's your prayer life, how's your quiet time, how's
Speaker 1: your discipling out of the pulfit? And in the four
Speaker 1: year of your church, how many men are you talking to?
Speaker 1: How many people are you desperately trying to talk to,
Speaker 1: to spread the gospel to Because you have this desperation
Speaker 1: for their souls. That's how you're going to show the pastor, Hey,
Speaker 1: this guy's been called. It doesn't matter if you say it,
Speaker 1: or you dream about it, or you crave it, or
Speaker 1: you think about it and you go back and play
Speaker 1: video games.
Speaker 2: There's a book called A Path to Being a Pastor
Speaker 2: by Bobby Jamison that's really good that talks about if
Speaker 2: any of you are listening and you're considering ministry or
Speaker 2: considering being a pastor, it's really good about walking you
Speaker 2: through that. One of the things that it says is
Speaker 2: to be careful with language like I'm called or anointed
Speaker 2: for this. Yeah, And it really encourages you to say
Speaker 2: things like I aspire to do this right now, whereas
Speaker 2: saying that you're called man, you you might as well be.
Speaker 2: I'm not saying that you're not, but it can kind
Speaker 2: of come across as I have something special about me
Speaker 2: that no one else has that you need to recognize
Speaker 2: because I have a direct line with God. He told
Speaker 2: me this, whereas man, you could just say, man, I
Speaker 2: aspire to this right now. And then the other thing is, man,
Speaker 2: we're all called to love God with our whole heart. Soul,
Speaker 2: mind and strength, and love our neighbor as ourselves. And
Speaker 2: so you could read a book like Discipling by Mark Dever.
Speaker 2: That's like, man, it's not just the pastors that are
Speaker 2: supposed to do this, you know. Jesus is commanding us
Speaker 2: to love others, just like you were saying, man, yeah,
Speaker 2: you should go find some guys to take to lunch
Speaker 2: in your church and find some people to serve and
Speaker 2: love and care for. Because if we're talking about being called,
Speaker 2: we're all called to do that way.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, last thing I would say is be wared
Speaker 1: to look at me and go Granger's called. I don't
Speaker 1: think I've used that language. I don't think I've said
Speaker 1: I've said I'm shedding some things, I'm forsaking music touring
Speaker 1: so that I could focus on equipping myself. But I
Speaker 1: don't think I've ever said I'm called to be a preacher.
Speaker 1: I don't think I've used that language. Parker and I
Speaker 1: are both in we are enrolled in students as students
Speaker 1: at Southern Seminary. So I would say, go to Southern,
Speaker 1: you know, like go to Southern. Equip equip equip equip equip.
Speaker 1: Do that sit under wise teaching. Then as the dust subtles,
Speaker 1: you'll show us, not tell us about your calling. Let's
Speaker 1: go to the next one. It says, how do I know?
Speaker 1: Please read I'd like to stay anonymous. Hey Grangdera, I'm
Speaker 1: eighteen from southeast Texas. I listen to your podcast and
Speaker 1: i've been I have been for quite a long time.
Speaker 1: I have a question for you that I'll try to
Speaker 1: keep short. How do you know if a girl you
Speaker 1: like is the right one? I know a girl who
Speaker 1: checks off all the boxes, and I enjoy talking to
Speaker 1: her a lot and getting to know her. We met
Speaker 1: in church. She has a very nice family, and anytime
Speaker 1: we've talked, I've had no problem getting vulnerable with her
Speaker 1: and honest about life and family, and even talking about
Speaker 1: the Bible with her. But yes, there's a butt. She
Speaker 1: is three years younger than me. Is that not okay?
Speaker 1: Or is it all right? Most of my family has
Speaker 1: married or dated people within a two year or two
Speaker 1: to three year age gap. It seems weird to me
Speaker 1: in my time. I've never dated anyone before, but I
Speaker 1: also haven't been seeking a relationship. But anytime my friends
Speaker 1: bring up the idea of being in a relationship, she
Speaker 1: always comes to my mind. What are your thoughts? Sorry,
Speaker 1: this was long ye yee to anonymous Southeast Texas and
Speaker 1: wondering about a girl who I'm assuming is fifteen. You
Speaker 1: knew this question was coming apart. You knew something like
Speaker 1: this was coming.
Speaker 2: How do you know if someone's the one?
Speaker 1: How do you know if someone's the one? But not
Speaker 1: only that, can you be eighteen? I see this kind
Speaker 1: of question all the time too. Can you be eighteen
Speaker 1: and date a girl that's fifteen? Sixteen?
Speaker 2: I have no idea. I wasn't expecting that question.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what he's saying. He's saying, but she checks
Speaker 1: all the boxes, but she's three years younger than me.
Speaker 1: First of all, that's illegal.
Speaker 2: Right, That's what I'm saying. If you're eighteen, I don't
Speaker 2: think you can legally date a fifteen year old.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's illegal.
Speaker 2: I'm not one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: Maybe depending on the state, and I'm pretty sure in
Speaker 1: the state of Texas that's illegal. Let me put it
Speaker 1: in perspective of if I am the father of the girl. Right,
Speaker 1: London's about to turn twelve, so we're literally just three
Speaker 1: years away from this scenario happening in my house crazy,
Speaker 1: and I would say no. To London, I would say
Speaker 1: absolutely not. I'm not going to say no to you
Speaker 1: hanging out with her as in a group. If you
Speaker 1: want to go buy yourself with her on a date,
Speaker 1: I'm going to say no, not only because you're three
Speaker 1: years older and you're eighteen, but because she's literally fifteen,
Speaker 1: and that's too young to be dating in my house.
Speaker 1: It's other houses. You could do as you please, but
Speaker 1: I think I think it would be inappropriate. But then
Speaker 1: to that, I say this, what's the rush man, or
Speaker 1: what's the rush you? If you really like her? It
Speaker 1: doesn't sound like you're just I sprit to find somebody.
Speaker 1: You're not just desperate to jump into this. You're like,
Speaker 1: I've never really dated before and I but anytime my
Speaker 1: friends bring up a relationship, ah, she's the first one
Speaker 1: that comes to my mind. It doesn't really sound like
Speaker 1: this is a big deal or anything that needs to
Speaker 1: happen right now. But if you did start dating, it
Speaker 1: could turn into that. So I would pump the brakes,
Speaker 1: hang out with friends in groups, and avoid giving your
Speaker 1: heart away too soon, because I do think in this situation, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's inappropriate. Agreed. Next question the subjecliente says my in law,
Speaker 1: who I get that all the time. Grande had been
Speaker 1: married for three years now. I ran into a problem
Speaker 1: regarding my mother in law. It's been around two to
Speaker 1: three months since she has seen the kids and talk
Speaker 1: to me alone. She and my husband spoke on the phone,
Speaker 1: but it didn't end well. We have some disagreements and
Speaker 1: are starting to see that she will never change. We
Speaker 1: fear that if I led her back into our family,
Speaker 1: nothing will be any different, and that this process will
Speaker 1: just happen over and over again. We are unsure of
Speaker 1: what to do. Please, what is your advice on this? Sincerely, Jade.
Speaker 1: Also ee, all right, thanks for the email, Jade, your
Speaker 1: husband's mother, that's who we're talking about, I believe, and
Speaker 1: I see this this thing playing out all the time.
Speaker 1: The priority here in this particular situation is the kids.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to see if there's like it sounds like
Speaker 1: there's just disagreements. She is cold to the family, and
Speaker 1: she wants to get back into the family, right she
Speaker 1: wants to get back involved. I'm assuming that's what we're
Speaker 1: saying here between the lines. And you're worried that the
Speaker 1: kids are gonna get too attached and then she's going
Speaker 1: to disappear again or blow up. She's going to be gone.
Speaker 1: So the priorities to kids and in this situation, we're
Speaker 1: not talking about your mother. We're talking about your husband's mother.
Speaker 1: And so this is a conversation that can get down
Speaker 1: a slippery slope super quick. You have to be careful
Speaker 1: with this because you can't come in saying, hey, babe,
Speaker 1: your mom's got to go. You have to be in
Speaker 1: agreement on this. You have to listen to your husband.
Speaker 1: You have to talk. Take the emotions out of it.
Speaker 1: We're looking after the kids, but take your emotions out
Speaker 1: of it. Put your pride aside, and have an honest
Speaker 1: conversation with your husband that's like, hey, we got to
Speaker 1: talk about your mom and when it's appropriate for her
Speaker 1: to be around our kids, and you have to listen
Speaker 1: to him. What do you think?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 1: Be careful with this slippery slope. It could go sideways
Speaker 1: pretty quick. Your husband could start defending his mother against
Speaker 1: his own wife, and that's an area you don't want
Speaker 1: to get into. So be ready because he ultimately don't
Speaker 1: take this the wrong way, but he needs to make
Speaker 1: the call on this because it's his mother. He needs
Speaker 1: to be the one. He should be the one stepping
Speaker 1: up that says, Mom, you've crossed a couple of lines here.
Speaker 1: Now this is my immediate family. My priority is my
Speaker 1: wife and my kids. He needs to say that to her.
Speaker 1: That's a boundary he has to put up and not you.
Speaker 1: It's not gonna work if you do it. But be
Speaker 1: very careful when you're presenting that to him, because if
Speaker 1: he says no, I'm not going to say anything, then
Speaker 1: you have to be prepared to go with your husband
Speaker 1: on his decision with that too. Yeah, be careful with this.
Speaker 1: Let's say it one more Subjeclone, says parent divorce Grangerard.
Speaker 1: My name is Evan. I'm nineteen from southeastern Ohio, and
Speaker 1: I'm fairly confident after the argument. I just heard that
Speaker 1: my parents may be getting divorced. And this has been
Speaker 1: hard for me to handle since I've never had my
Speaker 1: biological father in my life and my stepdad has been
Speaker 1: the father figure in my life since I was around
Speaker 1: five years old. I'm just not sure how to process
Speaker 1: this and cope with it, and think some words from
Speaker 1: you would help me get through this, and I would
Speaker 1: greatly appreciate it, sincerely, Evan. All Right, brother, I'm sorry
Speaker 1: you're going through this. Nineteen, never been around your biological dad.
Speaker 1: You've had this guy since you were five, so he
Speaker 1: is your dad in so many ways. But here's the positive.
Speaker 1: You're nineteen. Now, you should be stepping off into your own,
Speaker 1: starting your own life, starting either school or a career,
Speaker 1: paying your own rent, paying your own way, maybe dating
Speaker 1: a girl. You're branching out, and so this divorce is
Speaker 1: not gonna hit you like it would have if you're
Speaker 1: five years old, six years old, eight years old. Right,
Speaker 1: you're not in the house anymore. So now it's gonna
Speaker 1: be up to you. You're saying, I'm just not sure
Speaker 1: how to process this and cope with it. Well, this
Speaker 1: is gonna be up to you now, how you process
Speaker 1: something that is not immediately in your life anymore, Parker.
Speaker 1: Of you known anybody like.
Speaker 2: This, man, I know you do. I wasn't around a
Speaker 2: whole lot of divorce personally. I'm so sorry, man. I
Speaker 2: hope that it doesn't happen, first of all, and then
Speaker 2: second of all, that's a good point, Granger of Man.
Speaker 2: I would just encourage you that you know you're nineteen.
Speaker 2: Young man. You know, Lord Willing, you have a lot
Speaker 2: of years ahead of you, and I would encourage you
Speaker 2: to be grateful at the time of the time that
Speaker 2: you had with your stepfather who was there for you,
Speaker 2: and to also moving forward, be the one that stops
Speaker 2: this in your family, that stops not having a father
Speaker 2: around for his sons, and then be that force for
Speaker 2: good moving forward. Not that you're like resentful or that
Speaker 2: you have it's revenge or anything like that, but it's
Speaker 2: just like, man, I know, I know what it's like
Speaker 2: to not feel like someone's there for you, and so
Speaker 2: I would encourage you, as you, you know, decide the
Speaker 2: kind of man that you want to be, uh, to
Speaker 2: be the one that's going to be there.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: Actually, Carson, one of our employees, I was just having
Speaker 2: a really good conversation with him as biological father was
Speaker 2: never there for him, and he had such a good
Speaker 2: mindset about it. He was like, man, I'm so interested
Speaker 2: in fatherhood and I like researching it because I'm so
Speaker 2: looking forward to being the father that I never had.
Speaker 2: It's good and I was so encouraging me.
Speaker 1: I think Evan, it's also important to know I don't
Speaker 1: know what kind of argument this was. But I think
Speaker 1: it's important to know that you don't have to You
Speaker 1: don't have to count this guy out. I mean, you
Speaker 1: love this guy. You don't have to necessarily pick sides.
Speaker 1: You don't have to go with your mom. You could say, look,
Speaker 1: I love both of you. I wish you'd stay together.
Speaker 1: I want to be able to help as much as
Speaker 1: I can, but I also don't have to pick sides.
Speaker 1: And this isn't goodbye. I'm not gonna You're not going
Speaker 1: to be gone from my life whatever whoever this guy is.
Speaker 1: And you could be there for each of them. You
Speaker 1: could be a counsel. You could be a voice or
Speaker 1: an ear that your mother could talk to and this
Speaker 1: guy could talk to. And you go, look, I know
Speaker 1: my mom better than anyone else in the world besides
Speaker 1: maybe you, what's going on? Talk to me? Maybe I
Speaker 1: can help, And then you could say the same thing
Speaker 1: to your mom. Look, I know this guy, not only
Speaker 1: because he's my stepdad and I've known him for fourteen years,
Speaker 1: but I'm a guy too, and I could maybe relate
Speaker 1: a little bit. So what's going on? How could we
Speaker 1: deal with this? You could be that guy you don't
Speaker 1: have to be the guy that crawls in the corner
Speaker 1: and cries and says, I don't know how to cope
Speaker 1: with this. You can go, Okay, I'm stepping in. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be somebody. I'm gonna help. Like Parker said, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be a force for good in this family in
Speaker 1: this immediate situation. And I'm also taking notes because I'm
Speaker 1: not going to be in this situation when I'm married.
Speaker 1: Let's take a Break your Back podcast is brought to you,
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Speaker 1: if you want to get a hold of me, the
Speaker 1: best way to do it is cameo dot com slash
Speaker 1: Granger Smith, or you can download the Cameo app and
Speaker 1: search for me Granger Smith. This allows you to get
Speaker 1: a video message from me saying whatever it is that
Speaker 1: you want me to say. So you go into the
Speaker 1: app you say, hey, I want Granger to say happy
Speaker 1: birthday to my son, or to my friend, or to
Speaker 1: my mother, or maybe a word of encouragement or happy anniversary,
Speaker 1: whatever it might be. You could say, you make it
Speaker 1: up and then I'll sit there on my phone and
Speaker 1: read it, and then I'll shoot you a video message
Speaker 1: and then you take that message and deliver it as
Speaker 1: a gift. It's actually a really good last minute gift
Speaker 1: or to someone that you think already has everything and
Speaker 1: you can't think of anything else. Get a cameo from
Speaker 1: me from cameo dot com slash Granger Smith, or download
Speaker 1: the cameo app and search for me. Granger Smith. Speaking
Speaker 1: of gift ideas, like a River would be a great gift.
Speaker 1: I'm a little bit biased with my book Like a River.
Speaker 1: I think could be the perfect gift to somebody that
Speaker 1: is perhaps needing a word of encouragement me up, or
Speaker 1: someone that's actually going through some kind of grief, suffering, loss,
Speaker 1: heartache right now. And that person could be yourself as
Speaker 1: we get closer to the holidays coming up now that
Speaker 1: it's fall already.
Speaker 2: Grab a few of them.
Speaker 1: It really helps me out, It helps the algorithm out.
Speaker 1: And whenever you get a book from whatever website that is,
Speaker 1: say it's Amazon, give us a good review. That really
Speaker 1: helps the book Like a River and its message get
Speaker 1: to more people. I appreciate you guys for that. Parker's
Speaker 1: over here. Were actually gonna shoot a EE Apparel Fall
Speaker 1: launch little promo over here at the house as we
Speaker 1: record the podcast, and always pumped about that. Parker, what
Speaker 1: day that's comes out? The fifteenth September fifteenth September fifteenth
Speaker 1: ten ame dot com. Going back to these questions, if
Speaker 1: you have one for me, email Granger Smith podcast at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Interesting subject line here says he only
Speaker 1: likes me when he's drunk. Hey Granger, I'm twenty two
Speaker 1: years old. I'm a woman. In early twenty twenty two,
Speaker 1: I was talking to going on dates with a guy
Speaker 1: for two months. He was really cute, fun, country, sweet
Speaker 1: and cool. He's a bull rider. Then I found out
Speaker 1: he had a girlfriend and I told her, but they
Speaker 1: stayed together for about ten more months. It absolutely devastated me.
Speaker 1: It may be super insecure, and I still compare myself
Speaker 1: to this now ex girlfriend that she is. I ran
Speaker 1: into him in public in January and he apologized to me,
Speaker 1: of course he did the rest of the night, he
Speaker 1: was very nice to me, but then ruined it by
Speaker 1: asking me asking me to go home with him, obviously
Speaker 1: meaning to have sex. I'm waiting for marriage, so I
Speaker 1: said no. But in June he began reaching out to
Speaker 1: me again. He unblocked me on everything, and now we
Speaker 1: snapchat every day. Occasionally he'll call me in the wee
Speaker 1: hours when he's drunk and he tells me all these
Speaker 1: things He remembers about me when we talked, and compliments
Speaker 1: me and hents it wanting to hook up. I feel
Speaker 1: pathetic because even though I know I shouldn't be talking
Speaker 1: to him, deep down I still like him. If he
Speaker 1: asked me on a real date, I know I would
Speaker 1: say yes. And I don't know why. How could I
Speaker 1: move past him? I've talked to other guys since him,
Speaker 1: but for some reason, he's the one I can't get over. Sincerely, Vicky, Oh,
Speaker 1: those bull Riders. There's this scenario on that TV show
Speaker 1: Friday Night Lights that Amber and I used to watch
Speaker 1: years and years ago, that had a scenario that played
Speaker 1: out just like this bull rider that's always got Hey
Speaker 1: this guy. First of all, before we get into this question,
Speaker 1: the guy's got multiple girlfriends in multiple towns, no doubt,
Speaker 1: no doubt, he's texting you in the wee hours of
Speaker 1: the night. Let me ask Let me ask you a question, Vicky,
Speaker 1: Do you really think you're the only one he's texting?
Speaker 1: Do you think you're the only one he's trying to
Speaker 1: hook up with? No, of course not absolutely not. So Park,
Speaker 1: what you got? What do you say for Vicky here?
Speaker 2: Well, I'm thinking of what Vicky would be asking you
Speaker 2: if she was here, and it would be I mean,
Speaker 2: she obviously can't. She knows that this is not the
Speaker 2: guy that she wants to be the father of her children,
Speaker 2: but she can't stop herself from being attracted to him.
Speaker 2: And so, yeah, I don't know. I think in today's age,
Speaker 2: I mean, how many songs are like your Love's a drug.
Speaker 2: I can't get enough. You always leave me, but I
Speaker 2: always keep one like wanting to come back from more. So, Vicky,
Speaker 2: I would just encourage you to just sit back and
Speaker 2: be like, what is it about me that is so?
Speaker 2: Why am I I attracted to this type of man?
Speaker 2: And there's a guy that I like, JP who who
Speaker 2: says people come up to me and they're like, why
Speaker 2: am I always attracted to bad boys? Why am I
Speaker 2: always attracted to these these terrible guys that end up
Speaker 2: just like being a player? Why do I always keep
Speaker 2: wanting to go to them? And he's like, well, what
Speaker 2: kind of TV shows are you watching? And they're like, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: you're not hearing me, Like I'm having problems with guys.
Speaker 2: And he's like, well, what kind of music are you
Speaker 2: listening to? And they're like like, what are you talking
Speaker 2: about I'm talking about dating advice, and it's just like
Speaker 2: He's like, man, could you be aware of, like subconsciously,
Speaker 2: these things that you're consuming, the types of people that
Speaker 2: you're around, where you're going to look for these guys.
Speaker 2: Have you ever thought that you're you're training your heart
Speaker 2: to look for the wrong things based on what you're consuming.
Speaker 2: That's the first thing that comes to mind.
Speaker 1: That's so good. So what you said is in the
Speaker 1: analogy of a song, your love is a drug. Right,
Speaker 1: So if this guy, this bull Rider guy, what if
Speaker 1: the if he was a drug then and you that
Speaker 1: you're addicted to it and you're trying to quit it,
Speaker 1: what do you do? I mean, you could also rephrase
Speaker 1: it that same way. And Parker's right, there's a great
Speaker 1: point to think about. Okay, he's obviously not my future.
Speaker 1: He's obviously not the father of my children. I'm I'm
Speaker 1: I'm obviously not walking down the aisle in a white
Speaker 1: dress with this guy. You're you're saving yourself from marriage, VICKI.
Speaker 1: This is the not the guy you're gonna you're gonna
Speaker 1: walk down the aisle with, Right, that's obvious. So he's
Speaker 1: just a drug that you're addicted to. So what do
Speaker 1: you do? You make a decision when you're sober, not
Speaker 1: at three am. No I'm not I'm not talking about
Speaker 1: actually drunk. I'm talking about love drunk. You make a
Speaker 1: decision when you're sober and not love drunk at midnight
Speaker 1: or lonely. You make a decision, just like you go
Speaker 1: to the grocery store when you're you're not hungry or
Speaker 1: you're gonna buy more. You go to the grocery store
Speaker 1: when you're starving. You're gonna buy more. You're gonna go
Speaker 1: down all the aisles and be like, oh, i'm starving,
Speaker 1: I'll actually want this and this. So avoid the grocery
Speaker 1: store when you're starving, and avoid making these kind of
Speaker 1: decisions when you're love drunk. So wait till you're sober. Whenever.
Speaker 1: Maybe you're with your girlfriends. They're giving you confidence, they're
Speaker 1: giving your strength, And you do this. You go through
Speaker 1: your phone, block his number, You go to snapchat. First
Speaker 1: of all, while you on Snapchat, delete it or block him,
Speaker 1: block him out of your life. Protect yourself, Guard your
Speaker 1: heart like it's valuable, like it actually matters, and because
Speaker 1: it does, guard it because it's fragile, and you give
Speaker 1: it away, you lose yourself. You slip up one night,
Speaker 1: you will regret it for a long long time. So
Speaker 1: you guard your heart. You build a wall, you build
Speaker 1: a vault around this heart. With this cowboy guy. If
Speaker 1: this was London, if this was my daughter and she
Speaker 1: was dating this roady oh dude, and this is how
Speaker 1: he treats women. This is the respect he has for women. No,
Speaker 1: this is what we're talking about. Guarding your heart like
Speaker 1: a treasure, like a fine pearl. You're guarding your heart, okay,
Speaker 1: And you're going to do this when you're love sober,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna block him on everything. Then you're gonna
Speaker 1: get an accountability buddy, some girlfriend that you trust, maybe
Speaker 1: your parents, sister, brother, whoever it might be. And you say, look,
Speaker 1: I have to admit something. I know. I'm a twenty
Speaker 1: one year old woman and I can make my own decisions.
Speaker 1: But there's this guy and he's not a good guy,
Speaker 1: and I need to make sure that I stay away
Speaker 1: from him because I have a tendency to like him,
Speaker 1: and I need your accountability. I need you to say
Speaker 1: get away from him, let's go. I need you to
Speaker 1: help me use this community. Yeah, and then go back
Speaker 1: and listen to what Parker said about where you're listening to,
Speaker 1: what you're watching, how you're training your heart. Next question,
Speaker 1: I'm just literally going down the line here on these emails,
Speaker 1: it says podcast question. Hey Granger, now that your music
Speaker 1: career is finished, I have a couple questions for you.
Speaker 1: What is one song that you have recorded in your
Speaker 1: career that you look forward to not ever singing again?
Speaker 1: And what is one song that you have recorded that
Speaker 1: you're gonna miss singing? The most comes from Michael Man. Michael,
Speaker 1: I don't have a song that I'm going to look
Speaker 1: forward to not ever singing again. I don't, Honestly, I
Speaker 1: know that's probably a common question. I think I've heard
Speaker 1: Jimmy Buffett say that about Margaritaville. Nah. I legitimately, if
Speaker 1: we play it consistently, if we used to play it,
Speaker 1: if it was a song that was popular, I've legitimately
Speaker 1: loved it. Not because I particularly love the craft of
Speaker 1: that particular song. It's just because it's associated with my
Speaker 1: band and and and the crowds, and it was fulfilling
Speaker 1: in that way. So I don't have that number one.
Speaker 1: I don't have a song like that. Number two, What
Speaker 1: song that you have recorded? Are you gonna miss singing
Speaker 1: the most? I don't. I don't have that either. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I actually was just singing down there in a Maverick
Speaker 1: earlier song called Stutter Yeah, a little microphone. I was like, Hey,
Speaker 1: mav it's Friday night only I'll do this because at
Speaker 1: the time we're recording this, it's a Friday night, so
Speaker 1: I would be at a concert right now. I don't
Speaker 1: have that either. Man, I don't have either one of
Speaker 1: those questions, both of it. It's like, yeah, yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: good either way.
Speaker 2: Is there one of your songs if you're gonna play
Speaker 2: it live.
Speaker 1: That is.
Speaker 2: That comes to mind that's more difficult to play or
Speaker 2: perform or sing live where you're like, oh, I really
Speaker 2: gotta be on it for this song.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's there's songs that are for easy to do.
Speaker 2: What's an example of like a really hard one? I
Speaker 2: think they might find that interesting.
Speaker 1: I can remember never too Old that song Never too old.
Speaker 1: We never played it that much because it just it
Speaker 1: takes them a little bit of vocal gymnastics to play
Speaker 1: that song, even though I loved it, And there's a
Speaker 1: lot of songs that I have to like really be
Speaker 1: warmed up for. And then there's songs like Maerica that
Speaker 1: I literally just can't play on the guitar. It's too complicated.
Speaker 1: I could sing it fine, but I have to have
Speaker 1: Todd with me. I can't play Do Do Do Do Do,
Speaker 1: can't do all that crazy stuff. So and then there's
Speaker 1: songs that are just like peanut Butter and Jelly, like
Speaker 1: Silver Oda bench Seat that's just so easy. It's that's
Speaker 1: the best sound check song because it's easy to sing,
Speaker 1: the chord structures are super simple. And then there's other
Speaker 1: songs that are harder for me to remember all of
Speaker 1: the words, songs like four wheel Drive. There's a lot
Speaker 1: of like intricate words in four wheel Drive, and it's
Speaker 1: easier for me to fumble up words and mix them up.
Speaker 1: So yeah, let's go to the next one. Says Hey Granger.
Speaker 1: I always enjoy listening to your podcast and the wisdom
Speaker 1: you give. I just finished reading Like a River, and
Speaker 1: I cried through every chapter. My question is this, I
Speaker 1: was listening to your podcast last week and you were
Speaker 1: talking about not over spiritualizing, and I am thirty four
Speaker 1: years old, and the way I was raised and always
Speaker 1: taught was that in order to get married, you have
Speaker 1: to get inspiration from the prophet on who you're supposed
Speaker 1: to marry. About a year ago, I left that church
Speaker 1: to follow Christ and study the Bible. Sometimes I feel
Speaker 1: a law at a loss to know how to pursue
Speaker 1: finding a partner for marriage because of my past life
Speaker 1: in that church. Any advice you can give would be
Speaker 1: greatly appreciated.
Speaker 2: So say I left that church to follow Christ instead.
Speaker 1: Of the Bible and study the Bible.
Speaker 2: Oh, and study the Bible.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, so I could just condense this question down
Speaker 1: to how do you find a partner for marriage? Dude, Parker,
Speaker 1: You're great at this. This is like your This is
Speaker 1: your peanut, butter and jelly. This is your bread and butter. Yeah.
Speaker 2: When I first became a Christian in early twenty twenty one,
Speaker 2: I had I had dated girls kind of on and
Speaker 2: off throughout my life. I was twenty seven at the time,
Speaker 2: and I heard an analogy that that really helped me,
Speaker 2: and that was man, when you when you start following
Speaker 2: Christ with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and
Speaker 2: you see that He's all that you really need, then
Speaker 2: you don't idolize marriage like the rest of society does,
Speaker 2: like Hollywood does, like music tells you to do. Just
Speaker 2: like we were talking about Vicki, the world is telling
Speaker 2: you that you need to find the one or it's
Speaker 2: all for nothing. But when you find Christ and you
Speaker 2: find his value and you see how short life is
Speaker 2: and how long eternity is, then you start chasing after
Speaker 2: him with everything that you have. You start loving others,
Speaker 2: you get involved with your church, you're reading scripture, and
Speaker 2: you are running that race towards Christ with everything that
Speaker 2: you have, completely content. And then while you're running that,
Speaker 2: you look to your left and you look to your right,
Speaker 2: and you see someone to your right who's also chasing
Speaker 2: Christ with everything that they have, and they see that
Speaker 2: treasure too, and you turn in them and you say, man,
Speaker 2: we're running to the same place. Do you want to
Speaker 2: just run this race with me? And that helped me
Speaker 2: so much and my clarity and knowing for sure that
Speaker 2: I was gonna marry Amy because we just kept seeing
Speaker 2: each other at volunteer events and at church, and I
Speaker 2: could see, you know, what was coming out of her
Speaker 2: mouth also reflected her heart, and so that analogy helped me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's great and thirty four years old. Does that
Speaker 1: change anything.
Speaker 2: At the end of the day.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, I totally agree.
Speaker 2: The world tells you that you are behind and you
Speaker 2: need to hurry.
Speaker 1: That's good. You better hurry because.
Speaker 2: Because the girls can only have kids for so long
Speaker 2: once you' I mean, I mean, I'm stick. You know
Speaker 2: the clock's ticking. If you're forty Are you seriously not
Speaker 2: going to be married when you're forty? Are you seriously
Speaker 2: not going to be married when you're forty five or
Speaker 2: fifty or fifty five? That's what the world's telling you.
Speaker 2: But man, you just got to you got to block
Speaker 2: out what the world's telling you and think about how
Speaker 2: short this life is and how ultimately marriage is not
Speaker 2: going to fill that void for you, not to say
Speaker 2: that you shouldn't desire it and that you shouldn't be looking.
Speaker 1: Yeah, how freeing is it now that you get to
Speaker 1: do this chase after Christ, fall in love with someone
Speaker 1: that is also chasing after Christ and you don't have
Speaker 1: to get inspiration from the prophet to do any of that.
Speaker 1: How freeing that must be. And I'm very encouraged by
Speaker 1: you and the strength that it must have taken I
Speaker 1: can't can't imagine, and I just, if anything, I just
Speaker 1: want to encourage you in that and say I'm so
Speaker 1: I'm so happy with what's going on and how the
Speaker 1: Lord is moving in you right now, even so much
Speaker 1: so that you emailed this podcast asking a really good question,
Speaker 1: chase after the Lord, plug into your church, serve at
Speaker 1: your church, you'll find someone who's running, like Parker said,
Speaker 1: right alongside you. Next question subjectline yee Ye Hey Grangeer.
Speaker 1: I'm a fan from North Dakote. Love your music and
Speaker 1: I'm proud of you for going after your dream of ministry.
Speaker 1: I was just wondering with you leaving country music, are
Speaker 1: you getting rid of EEE and Ye Nation and the
Speaker 1: Ranch and all that too? Are just the music touring part.
Speaker 1: It's a good question. I am so excited to lean
Speaker 1: into EEE Apparel, which Parker is the CEO of and
Speaker 1: Tyler and Tyler is there every day, and I have
Speaker 1: not had the opportunity to go to the ee Farm.
Speaker 1: I think that's what you're talking about instead of Ranch
Speaker 1: since COVID. I spent a lot of time there during COVID.
Speaker 1: That was the only time in my life. In fact,
Speaker 1: if it wasn't for COVID, I wouldn't even know what
Speaker 1: it's like at all to consistently go to the farm
Speaker 1: and hang out with you guys. And an interesting way,
Speaker 1: COVID that probably a bunch of people could say the
Speaker 1: same thing. But COVID talk me so much. And one
Speaker 1: of the things COVID taught me was you don't have
Speaker 1: the tour. You're okay, You've got an infrastructure here. God
Speaker 1: will provide. I had to learn that through COVID and
Speaker 1: it has given me confidence now that going into this
Speaker 1: new season. No, to answer your question, Ryan is too
Speaker 1: emailed from North Dakota. No, Ye, he's not going anywhere. No,
Speaker 1: the farm is not going anywhere. I'm hoping that Ye
Speaker 1: Nation will still be alive and well, I'll still be
Speaker 1: traveling occasionally going out, maybe doing a Smith tour, maybe
Speaker 1: doing a live podcast tour. Comment below if you would
Speaker 1: like to see that with Bernie and Parker and maybe
Speaker 1: pastor Chad. Maybe Amber can come on that trip. You know,
Speaker 1: Chris Lee will be with us. We'll travel around and
Speaker 1: do that. We have so many ideas and so many
Speaker 1: things that we're going to be able to do with
Speaker 1: Ye Nation. And as we go into the holiday season
Speaker 1: coming up, doing a lot with ee as far as
Speaker 1: pop up shop, maybe having a brick and mortar storefront
Speaker 1: coming up. We're working through all of these different kind
Speaker 1: of dreams and ideas and very very excited about the
Speaker 1: future of EEE.
Speaker 2: Would you say the same, Yeah, we're really excited. We've
Speaker 2: always wanted ee to be something that could live past
Speaker 2: your music career and was just talking to Tyler this
Speaker 2: week and we're like, this is one of the most
Speaker 2: important weeks of our professional careers because this is officially
Speaker 2: like a little turtle that just hatched, that's on the
Speaker 2: beach with all these predators and it's like, all right,
Speaker 2: that is done with music. Now let's get to the water.
Speaker 2: And ye he's always been I think able to live
Speaker 2: on its own. So really excited for this next chapter
Speaker 2: and for you to be more involved. And we're looking
Speaker 2: to get into stores too, in late this year and
Speaker 2: twenty twenty four. So if you want your local if
Speaker 2: you know of a local store that could carry EEE,
Speaker 2: go tell them, tell them to shoot us an email.
Speaker 2: We'd love to do it.
Speaker 1: We have a lot of plans for EEE. A lot
Speaker 1: of things we talk about behind closed doors, Tyler and
Speaker 1: Parker and I the three brothers talking about the future
Speaker 1: of VEE, what we want from it. But we desire
Speaker 1: for it to continue and to be just a great
Speaker 1: company that's essentially our tent making company that allows us
Speaker 1: to do all kinds of things all over the world,
Speaker 1: and we're very blessed to have EEE. I'm by no
Speaker 1: means shutting it down, and really, I mean, let's be
Speaker 1: honest here, I'm not shutting down music either. That would
Speaker 1: really technically be impossible. Music is not something I could
Speaker 1: stop doing. I guarantee there's going to be some kind
Speaker 1: of inspiration I'll have at some point, or I've been
Speaker 1: thinking about doing a hymn record. I would love to do,
Speaker 1: like a traditional hymns record. There's gonna be a lot
Speaker 1: of things like that that I'll be exploring. It's the
Speaker 1: touring that's shutting down, because a traditional tour where we
Speaker 1: have buses and a truck and twelve people on salary
Speaker 1: and we're heading out on a Wednesday and we're coming
Speaker 1: back on a Sunday afternoon, and we're playing these contracted
Speaker 1: dates that we've had on the books for six months,
Speaker 1: and the structure of that is too much. It's getting
Speaker 1: in the way of everything else that I need to
Speaker 1: be doing that I feel like I have to be doing,
Speaker 1: so a traditional structured tour is in the way of that.
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean that you're not going to hear one
Speaker 1: day me come out with a hymns record or write
Speaker 1: a new song. I think that those are all totally
Speaker 1: within bounds of what you could expect from me and
Speaker 1: Yee in the future. Also comment below if you think
Speaker 1: Parker could come back on the podcast. It's been a
Speaker 1: little bit since he's been a guest on here. And
Speaker 1: we are also, hopefully Lord Willing going to get more
Speaker 1: consistent with the EEE podcast, which is completely different subject
Speaker 1: matter than we have on this one, but that's completely
Speaker 1: open too. There's a lot of things I can go
Speaker 1: down a list this long of things that we want
Speaker 1: to do in the future with all of the platform
Speaker 1: that we have. It's not going away just music touring.
Speaker 1: I love you guys, See you next Monday. Thanks for
Speaker 1: joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate all
Speaker 1: of you guys. You could help me out by rating
Speaker 1: this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to
Speaker 1: this channel. Hit that little like button and notification spell
Speaker 1: so that you never miss anytime I upload a video.
Speaker 1: If you have a question for me that you would
Speaker 1: like me to answer, email Graingersmith Podcast at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: Yi