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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. This Cold Stratton

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Speaker 1: here filling in once again for Kevin Pollock, who is

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Speaker 1: off shooting the super secret Hush Hush prequel to the

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Speaker 1: Marvelous Mrs Mazel entitled When Midge Was Just a Smidge.

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Speaker 1: I know, right, I'm running out of jokes there before

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Speaker 1: we get to our Alchemists introductions. There is a very

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Speaker 1: strong chance that this episode could be interrupted by a

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Speaker 1: fire alarm. The building is being tested today sometime between

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Speaker 1: eleven and six. We are this is the first, so

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Speaker 1: we'll see what happens with chaos breaks loose, we'll know

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Speaker 1: do we have to leave the building? Yeah, that's the

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Speaker 1: general idea of a fire drill. The fire departments were

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Speaker 1: doing a full drill. It's loud. Oh you want to

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Speaker 1: leave it? Yep. So when that happens, hopefully we're at

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Speaker 1: the end of the episode or not at all. But

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Speaker 1: let's meet our Alchemists show with him now that you've

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Speaker 1: been warned he's the man with the Midas touch and

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Speaker 1: that he turns everything he touches into break pads. Joe Joey,

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Speaker 1: what's your dream car? Oh man? Probably uh sports uh

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Speaker 1: tuscan turns summer with a hashbash and a four speed

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Speaker 1: grogor candy uple red only Mint b Mint. Next up,

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Speaker 1: a noted biographer of Olsen's Mary Kate and Ashley Vanessa

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Speaker 1: Raglan The Pleasures Mind the any particular segment of the

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Speaker 1: Olsen's lives you're writing about currently? Um, I can't stop

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Speaker 1: digging deeper into how the West was fun? So how

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Speaker 1: was it fun? You know? A myriad of way? Truly,

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Speaker 1: We'll get ready to Craig against the machine. It's Craig, Craig.

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Speaker 1: What music makes you want to get up and fight

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Speaker 1: the system? Neil Diamond. He's got a song called hell

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Speaker 1: Yeah that really motivates nic and I'm not joking. Next

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Speaker 1: ship giggles time someone says they fingered someone in a

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Speaker 1: police lineup? Carlo, Carlo, what part of detective work you

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Speaker 1: think you'd be good at? Oh my god, I'm so

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Speaker 1: blown away by that intertext. I would be great at

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Speaker 1: bringing baked goods to people that I was questioning, would

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Speaker 1: be more cooperative, that's true hospitality. And finally, he runs

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Speaker 1: a fantasy football league, but not the kind you think.

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Speaker 1: James Heeney, Who's gonna be the topic this year? Gandalf,

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Speaker 1: Mr Tumnus, a ball rock or someone else. Definitely a

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Speaker 1: ball rock. Toy mean candle is good, but a ball

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Speaker 1: rock if you get enough of the well it's a

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Speaker 1: demon from the depths. I have no recollection. It's an

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Speaker 1: old hate. It's from Lord of the Rings. But didn't

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Speaker 1: Gandalf defeat the ball rocks? Like why would you? He

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Speaker 1: got lucky that there was a bridge at the right time.

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Speaker 1: When you're out on a mutant league football field, there's

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Speaker 1: no bridge to drop back periods starting QB. You're gonna lose,

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Speaker 1: shall not pass? You know? Thanks? Even think? Is the

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Speaker 1: alarm going on? All right, let's get to our first

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Speaker 1: see it after all that and madness. All of today's

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Speaker 1: scene suggestions were gathered from our listeners emails. If you'd

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Speaker 1: like to submit yours, please write to the podcast at

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Speaker 1: your name here at alchemy this dot com. That's your

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Speaker 1: name here at alchemy this dot com. Our first suggestion, Hey,

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Speaker 1: Alchemy this love the podcast. Often listen to it going

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Speaker 1: to and from rehearsals at our community theater. Great stuff.

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Speaker 1: Here's a scenario for you. A group of frogs are

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Speaker 1: sitting around the pond on a lovely summer to day

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Speaker 1: when a duck arrives at disturbing news. He's heard that

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Speaker 1: there are species of frogs is rapidly going extinct. Shocked

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Speaker 1: and panic, the frogs first try to find out who

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Speaker 1: among them is to blame for this catastrophe, then put

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Speaker 1: their little frog brains together to figure out how to

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Speaker 1: reverse the situation we already didn't. Thanks for the last Stephen,

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Speaker 1: All right, I just gotta take care of that frog.

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Speaker 1: And if you take care of the frog, will get

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Speaker 1: you a dog. Okay, I want a dog. Yeah, you

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Speaker 1: gotta make sure that you could take care of the

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Speaker 1: frog before I get you a dog. Look, there's a here.

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Speaker 1: Look okay, I was gonna give this your Christmas. But

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Speaker 1: here's whole bunch of other frogs. Okay, they go a

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Speaker 1: little fair. Just take care of the sweeart. Your father

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Speaker 1: spent his last paycheck on all these frogs to make

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Speaker 1: you happy. I didn't never want any frog, okay, But

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Speaker 1: like he's said a million times, want to take a dog, Beggy.

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Speaker 1: This is my last paycheck, the last paycheck. He's never

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Speaker 1: going to get a job again. Do you understand has

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Speaker 1: no real skills. Look, I got to go on the road.

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Speaker 1: But did I do the roach? I gotta go funds work. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Wait, it's not like you're going on like frogs.

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Speaker 1: You're in a band. You're going on the road with

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Speaker 1: the band. I just got hired as a guy, almost

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Speaker 1: hired for a little bit to get some money. Okay,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna leave me with your daughter? It's our child.

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Speaker 1: Do you know how you can show your life? I

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Speaker 1: don't think that she's going to really help us. I

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Speaker 1: feel like we're on her own now. Yeah, I don't

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Speaker 1: neither trouble. I think that we were much better off

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Speaker 1: at the pond. Ribbit, are you guys? You guys feel

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Speaker 1: like we're in danger? Like I don't know that the

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Speaker 1: ribbit that she's really handling me. Well, I don't think

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Speaker 1: she's handling me well either. I feel like my skin

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Speaker 1: is trying out. I need a little bit of war

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Speaker 1: in the aquarium. She just put butter on my legs.

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Speaker 1: I had the hiccup. So I'm sorry, Sts of Water,

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Speaker 1: Derek and Drinke Ribbit, I should scare you. That's a

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Speaker 1: good idea. Okay. Um, Well, if he's prepared for the

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Speaker 1: skirt's not gonna work. Well, Ribbit, it's gonna happen at

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Speaker 1: a time he doesn't expect it. Okay, good idea. Let's

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Speaker 1: not talking about it for a while and then ribb it.

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Speaker 1: You know it will happen when at least expect thanks, ribbit.

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Speaker 1: I think that we should try to escape. Did you

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Speaker 1: just transform? Huh? Ribbit? What what are you looking at me?

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Speaker 1: I just think that we should try to get away

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Speaker 1: before it's too late. Okay, we gotta orchestrate it carefully, mom,

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Speaker 1: Look at them? Look at them? Do you see what

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Speaker 1: I see? I just got a revolver and meet the dresser.

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Speaker 1: If you need to sell something that is what if

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Speaker 1: I shoot you with it? Can you show me with

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Speaker 1: And how am I going to get on the road

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Speaker 1: with these guys? Okay? I got moneys planning something. I

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Speaker 1: knew what I married, and a guitar player that my

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Speaker 1: life was going to be a big fat come on.

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Speaker 1: You fell in love with the music, You fell in

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Speaker 1: love with the instrument, you fell in love with the players.

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Speaker 1: I fell in love with the music, that's for sure. Good.

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Speaker 1: I think there's a big pool, a big pool in

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Speaker 1: that room over there. I think we can go into

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Speaker 1: it and go down Okay. Uh, we gotta make a

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Speaker 1: break for it. But when she's not expecting it, or

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Speaker 1: if we all go at the same time, they won't

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Speaker 1: be able to catch us in. At least one will survive, Ribbit.

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Speaker 1: We can escape via water or ribbit land because we're amphibious. Sure,

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Speaker 1: but I don't know any other escape route. There's clearly

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Speaker 1: a hole at the bottom of that bowl. Well I see,

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Speaker 1: yeah that, Let's try that pool. Let's try that pool. Sure. Look,

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Speaker 1: I don't care. I'm gonna leave my briefcads open a

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Speaker 1: little longer and knick knacks I finding to remind me

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Speaker 1: of all. I'm gonna just just a little support, just

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Speaker 1: a little support. I think that are not well good. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so that's initiative. You know they don't even have towels,

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Speaker 1: ribb it. Guys, guys, you gotta help me. She's crushing me.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, there's nothing we can do for God,

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Speaker 1: I don't scare me, quick scare me? How can I

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Speaker 1: scare you up myself? Oh god? Oh, it's just kissing me, Ribby,

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Speaker 1: She's kissing me. I'm not going to turn in anything, kid,

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to turn in anything. I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: give rewards. Do we do that? Look at her. She's

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Speaker 1: kissing the frog like it's going to turn into a prince,

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Speaker 1: just like you, prince, prince the musician. Mom, great, we're

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Speaker 1: educating or she knows the terrible do not do not

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Speaker 1: kiss the musician. Do not tell the musician. It's turning

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Speaker 1: me back to kiss a musician. I mean, you know,

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Speaker 1: she falls in love with the musician in my life. Okay, wow, alright,

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Speaker 1: you know what. I don't think this frog could handle me.

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Speaker 1: What happened to Okay, I'm trying to kiss you back.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna try to kiss him back. Frog. Can I

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Speaker 1: talk to the frog for a second. Let me just

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Speaker 1: see the listen. Okay, you respect my daughter? Okay, you

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Speaker 1: get that? Oh good, you get that. What's happening another

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Speaker 1: one of these creatures? Pick me up. He's yelling at me.

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Speaker 1: You listen up, and you listen good. Okay. I think

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Speaker 1: this is actually really great. I haven't seen him this

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Speaker 1: emotional in years. He seems so present. My little girl

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Speaker 1: I fell in love with You're gonna love my little girl,

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Speaker 1: all right? Oh God? Trying to keeping of the pool,

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Speaker 1: getting the pool will never forget at you that's a

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Speaker 1: dead frog. You go, honey, Sorry, let's cook it up. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna jump in first. You're gonna phone you bet,

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Speaker 1: you bet. I'll be right behind you. Okay, here we go. Wait, well, okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go. I'll be back in a morning. Love you,

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Speaker 1: I love you. Where where's your doing? And then go?

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Speaker 1: It's me and you mom. We have nothing in common,

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Speaker 1: nothing at all. M M. Do you like your highness Ribbit,

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Speaker 1: Your highness ribbitbit croake. I'm sorry to disturb your meal,

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Speaker 1: but gri word from the gate pond is that some

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Speaker 1: of our citizens are ribbit are being taken in the night.

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Speaker 1: What ribbit, ribbon ribbit, Some of our citizens be ribbit

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Speaker 1: taken Ribbit Night in the ribbon Rabbit, night in the ribbon,

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Speaker 1: Ribbit night. I don't understand what you being taken? Ribbitts night? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: re night? What was your name? Night? Flows flit night

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Speaker 1: philosoplit some grass super I've just gotten back from the

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Speaker 1: from the outside world. Congratulations, transforming. No, I'm not truf

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Speaker 1: and Jesus. We had to escape. But they've killed one

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Speaker 1: of us. What they kissed us death and then crushed them.

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Speaker 1: But only two of us escaped. You know what this means,

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Speaker 1: sund the alarm Highness, Why do you believe this? Man? Huh?

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Speaker 1: You're always checking me on? You and I fall for

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Speaker 1: us every time, don't I don't you want to war? Shamus?

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Speaker 1: Why not gone to the old again? Don't you disgust

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Speaker 1: me and like me? Let's have a war, a little war,

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Speaker 1: but against the dream. We've just been murdered by human.

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Speaker 1: We don't know? That could be a tale of yarn

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Speaker 1: is it's a tale of yar. Tale of yarn. I

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Speaker 1: saw him get picked up and first kissed by an

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Speaker 1: adolescent girl. I too, had seen a human pick them up.

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Speaker 1: It's true. Witness someone's scary. Please Stephanie, get away from

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Speaker 1: the window. Look at all those frogs out there. That's happening, Mommy.

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Speaker 1: They're they're they're everywhere. They're in lines, they're bouncing to walk,

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Speaker 1: they're bouncing torch, they're singing something sawar. I mean it's

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Speaker 1: frog speak. Why would we be able to understand what?

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Speaker 1: I don't know? Mommy? Do you have a spear? I

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Speaker 1: have a I have a revolver. Your dad, well, King toad.

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Speaker 1: Word is that the frogs are challenging the humans to

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Speaker 1: a battle. And the enemy of our enemy is our friend.

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Speaker 1: Therefore we must defend the humans against the frogs. Check

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Speaker 1: the math checks out. I agree. Get the forces ready.

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Speaker 1: Start with the archers. The archers, Yes, we haven't used

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Speaker 1: them in years, and they will not be hurt. All right, Oh,

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Speaker 1: get away from that other window. They're grabbing pebbles and

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Speaker 1: there putting them in the maths at the window and breaking. Gosh, wait,

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Speaker 1: get the gun, Get on. I have the gun. I

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Speaker 1: have the gun. There's just so many of them. I

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Speaker 1: don't think I have enough bullets. Archers. Okay, I got

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Speaker 1: for a lot taste for everybody. Just want to say

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Speaker 1: I'm really excited about the show tonight, and I love

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Speaker 1: the band. And I was supposed to have non dairy

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Speaker 1: creeper in mine. The fund is this. I'm sorry. My

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Speaker 1: head was just somewhere else. Was thinking of my kid.

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Speaker 1: I wanted a red ball, right, I wanted a red ball.

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Speaker 1: Have a kid and a wife. You're boasting? Yeah, wow,

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Speaker 1: you know those who not want don't ask what are

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Speaker 1: you saying? It's a poem from Garfield? No, it's not.

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Speaker 1: Um the worst roady we've ever had. Yeah, I was

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Speaker 1: hoping I could just play guitar something with. We have

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Speaker 1: a guitarist, guitarist also guitarist. You have two guitarists already,

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Speaker 1: and my shred. I know you'll you'll nasty. I just

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Speaker 1: I got a wife and kid. I can't believe you

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Speaker 1: left your wife and kid. Why do you have many

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Speaker 1: on your cheeks? I pick you got a lot of

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Speaker 1: heel bros. Check out this twitch feed, man, this house

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Speaker 1: is under attack. Bro. Every kind of amphibian bro checking

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Speaker 1: his live twitch feed has got a lot of views.

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Speaker 1: I've got the counter. That's my house. That's my house.

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Speaker 1: Whatever sound to draw. I'm the war to night. The

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Speaker 1: frogs get dimensions, project me, protect me, stay behind the wall.

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Speaker 1: Just throw things at them in the sails. Oh dear god,

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Speaker 1: did you see that arrow from we toad? Just have fun,

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Speaker 1: you frogs? Fucking tony. Here, Look there's more frogs. Frogs.

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Speaker 1: They're bigger, they're browner, they're definitely to hey, frogs. Quack,

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Speaker 1: you're all gonna die. Quack. It's the duck on. Mother,

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Speaker 1: always speak count out the salamanders. Mom, what the fuck

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Speaker 1: it's the happening? Ducks? Did you get did you get ducks.

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Speaker 1: I found a duck. I didn't know I was in

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Speaker 1: biting a whole our mom, o, hump pomp, Hi stole

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Speaker 1: the door mat right over right? Oh that worked. My

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Speaker 1: hiccups are god. And that's the first scene. Lord, which

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Speaker 1: side with the salamanders? We'll never know? Great question? Alright?

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Speaker 1: Our second scene suggestions? Hey, how chemist, here's my scene suggestion.

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Speaker 1: A live televised hardcore dad joke competition. I love the show.

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Speaker 1: Anonymous from Vancouver, Canada. Welcome back mom, parents and he

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Speaker 1: it's me Tipsy Matt, and I am so excited to

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Speaker 1: be hosting Dad Dad Dad, And we're live in five Jim, Jim,

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Speaker 1: you already told me we were live. Oh my god. Hello,

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Speaker 1: well she thought we were alive. I guess we're dead. Now.

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Speaker 1: That's great. That's great coming to a five from you

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Speaker 1: from Vancouver. Right, that's right. I'm Chuck Blanton from Vancouver, BC. Sorry,

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Speaker 1: I'm recovering. I'm Canadian Emma, and I'm a dad. Oh

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Speaker 1: and and who do you crack up? Chuck? Chuck? Sorry,

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Speaker 1: I'm not in the Oh. No, that's good. That's good.

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Speaker 1: I've heard of Chuck before. I'd like to think I

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Speaker 1: crack up, my wife and my three teenage kids. Oh,

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Speaker 1: let's see a picture of them chuck seeing us. So,

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Speaker 1: how was your day at work? Sweetheart? How is my

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Speaker 1: day at work? Well, it was no play. I'll tell

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Speaker 1: you that much. Okay. I know that you have this

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Speaker 1: whole television show coming up next week, but you really know,

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Speaker 1: are there any food? Is there? Any food? Is there any? Yes,

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Speaker 1: there's food in front of you. I got friends coming over,

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Speaker 1: Can dad hide? How about a pizza? Pizza? Pizza? A

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Speaker 1: pizza pizza? All right, so your dad's doing it. So

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Speaker 1: what was the joke their dad? What was the piece

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Speaker 1: of kind of sounds like pizza. Look, I don't want

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Speaker 1: to write anything, he chuck. Uh, great work so far.

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Speaker 1: We're loving everything. You're doing, great ideas. But we noticed

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Speaker 1: there's a lot, a lot of work happening at the desk. No,

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Speaker 1: I will, I will us, there's a lot. Just tell

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Speaker 1: him what all work and no play makes check a

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Speaker 1: dull boy. Huh, all right, that's kind of what I

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Speaker 1: wanted to talk to. Just tell him you've got to

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Speaker 1: stop laughing. You have to get it together. It reminds

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Speaker 1: me of my dad, and uh, you gotta stop that. Okay,

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Speaker 1: because it's not a good memory. What I'm not supposed

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Speaker 1: to tell jokes because I remind you of your dad.

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Speaker 1: You're not supposed to tell jokes because we don't work

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Speaker 1: at a joke factory. Chuck, all right, check? Are you

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Speaker 1: sure you want to do this? It's a competition. If

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Speaker 1: think you know you're cheating, you'll be in trouble. All right,

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Speaker 1: but I I need good dad jokes? All right? Here?

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Speaker 1: What do you These are the popsicle sticks you wanted? Here?

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Speaker 1: You go? Great? Nice? Really, there's some some really good

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Speaker 1: ones on. Okay, there's some hot stuff. Yeah, let's brown

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Speaker 1: and sticky? A stick? Lead with that? What do I

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Speaker 1: owe you? Uh? Okay? And now we're in the lightning round.

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Speaker 1: It's gonna be Chuck versus Dan, Dan hit us? Uh? Well?

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Speaker 1: What is what is brown? What is sticky? Why are

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Speaker 1: we starting with Da? Why are we starting with Dan?

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Speaker 1: Because we ended with Dan last round? And that's how

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Speaker 1: the game isn't make sense? Hey, Chuck, chill out, Chuck,

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Speaker 1: we're lawing on TV. Dad. You're so good out there today.

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Speaker 1: I'm so proud of you. I want to take you

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Speaker 1: into my school and introduce you to all my friends.

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Speaker 1: You know what. I love that I have Thurst day off.

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Speaker 1: Do you think that they'd have time for your dad

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Speaker 1: to come in and hang with the kids. We have

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Speaker 1: so much time. Schools boring, I'm not surprised, just boring, okay.

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Speaker 1: And we have Brianna's father here because my dad everybody,

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Speaker 1: and I don't think he's a doctor. And but I

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Speaker 1: would just say hello to the class everybody. I'm usually

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Speaker 1: I shouldn't say this because it's a secret, but so

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Speaker 1: it is. It's part of a joke. It's part of

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Speaker 1: a joke. I wanted to show you that Barney animals.

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Speaker 1: That's why I called a little biggy. Hold on one second, funny,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, what's wrong? What the hell was that? Just

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Speaker 1: just cover yourself please, Okay, I've got my hand over

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Speaker 1: it away. Are you sure you want to do this?

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Speaker 1: It's a competition. You'll never find out, so secretive. Thank you?

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Speaker 1: Alright then? And sticky, that's pretty good. That's stick well,

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Speaker 1: I'm reading it right now. Okay, So the setup is

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Speaker 1: what's brown? And what is sticky? Do any of our

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Speaker 1: moms have many guesses? Um? Roll? Okay, great guess Carol, poop, Linda, No,

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Speaker 1: it's not poop, Linda, Okay, sorry, stick covered with maple syrup? All,

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Speaker 1: what do we have? Dan? Well, honestly, I really it's

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Speaker 1: so far. It's just a stick. So the maple syrup

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Speaker 1: is unnecessary. Stick covered in poop? Where where'd you get

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Speaker 1: those jokes? Something? The suck up? You should suck up up?

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Speaker 1: Where'd you go jokes like? Kind? I'm sorry, we're going

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Speaker 1: to commercial in three two? Weren't already in commercial? You

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Speaker 1: signaled that we were in commercial. I'm signaling to people.

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Speaker 1: But what is wrong with you? You come here? You

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Speaker 1: come here? What's wrong with you? You leave that kid alone?

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Speaker 1: He's doing the best in kid. You come here too? Hey? Oh,

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Speaker 1: you can't handle a few little punches from a nice

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Speaker 1: lady the one's supposed to be doing all the punchlines, lady,

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Speaker 1: good one. Dan, save it for when we're on air,

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Speaker 1: did you? Oh? Stop? I don't believe you. We welcome

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Speaker 1: back to the Dad's Dad's Dad's internationale Joke Competition and

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Speaker 1: we are still with with Dan and we're still on Dan. Chuck,

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Speaker 1: it's your turn. Relax, here you go. Everybody give it

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Speaker 1: up for Chuck from Vancouver Pizza. Pizza Pizza is I

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Speaker 1: could go for a pizza. Pizza. What's your choke, Chuck,

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Speaker 1: What's what's my choke? I stuttered, but I meant to say,

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Speaker 1: what's your joke? Well, if you said what's your choke,

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Speaker 1: then I would just stay a choke. Color color boy.

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Speaker 1: The police are really coloring some criminals, hardened criminals. They

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Speaker 1: must have all fallen in cement. I didn't. I mean

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Speaker 1: to get him to the e R right now in

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Speaker 1: a tup on. I t p. Okay, we gotta make

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Speaker 1: sure that this is dilated and go in there. All right,

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Speaker 1: you're down with you coming to okay, not nurse. I

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Speaker 1: need a scalpl I need my mistake. Now. Look, I

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Speaker 1: needed to pop tarts, none of them frosted. I need

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Speaker 1: loose milk. I am, and I'm working my way up.

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Speaker 1: All right, everyone back up. Now, we need a ten

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Speaker 1: mile radius for this person to breathe. You need some

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Speaker 1: loose milk. I got a lactating mom. I can show you. Jesus. Okay,

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Speaker 1: he's going off the road with dad. Jokes here. Everyone

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Speaker 1: call I'm Dan. I'm gonna alright, so class. This is

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Speaker 1: Danielle's father. He's the countdown guy on a popular television show.

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Speaker 1: Isn't that right, sir? He counts down. That's my dad.

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Speaker 1: Do you want to tell us about your job, sir?

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Speaker 1: Bring your dad to work to school? Day? Yeah. Recently

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Speaker 1: one into the requ room and saw um one of

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Speaker 1: the producers doing online of blow on the table, and honestly,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. In five or three two, now you can begin.

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Speaker 1: I went to the sorry about that. Let me get

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Speaker 1: the other one out. Um, let's start over in one too,

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Speaker 1: three four? Wait when do you want me to go?

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Speaker 1: What do you want me to do? Well, you're the expert.

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Speaker 1: I'm just up, oh god, and crying on what's going on?

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Speaker 1: This game show is coming up? And so much pressure?

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Speaker 1: Oh god, let's get out of the country. God, I

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Speaker 1: need the paycheck. I need the paycheck. Okay, I can't

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Speaker 1: just get a regular job and do what. I don't

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Speaker 1: know the doctor. No, that's not a regular job. That's

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Speaker 1: a hard job. Come on, God, I'm sorry, day fuck fuck,

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Speaker 1: I'll support us, I'll support you can't I will I

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Speaker 1: can't do what being a training German retrievers to do what?

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Speaker 1: And youra pacup in five four, three to one? Okay,

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Speaker 1: what did you learn from that? Repressed memory? All right,

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Speaker 1: and you wake up three to one. Oh my god?

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Speaker 1: Oh uh what the fuck? Yeah, you're you're you're getting therapy. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I know. I am sorry. Um did you hear what

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Speaker 1: I screamed? Up? Everything was screamed? Oh yeah, that's been

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Speaker 1: on my mind for a while. I am. I've been

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Speaker 1: thinking to myself as uh, it's just a piece of ship.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I just don't think I'm worth anything,

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Speaker 1: and I don't think that I'm good at my job

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Speaker 1: or that people who recognize me for what I do

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Speaker 1: or my worth. Well, maybe this'll pick up your spirits

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Speaker 1: a little bit. What's brown and sticky? Um stick? Covered

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Speaker 1: with maple syrup? Doctor? Are you sure you want to

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Speaker 1: do this? It doesn't make sense. Needs jokes, I need jokes,

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Speaker 1: all right, you ran out of popsicle sticks. But here's

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Speaker 1: some laughy tappy rappers. This should help you. Laffy taffy. Yeah,

386
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Speaker 1: so this is good? Yes? What's green and flies through

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Speaker 1: the air? Super pickle facking? Read it? Yes, that's the

388
00:26:56,440 --> 00:27:00,320
Speaker 1: kind of great a stuff you're getting from here. What's

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Speaker 1: green and flies through the air? Say again, what's green

390
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:07,520
Speaker 1: and flies through the air? Green and flies? I have

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Speaker 1: an accent. What's green and flies with the air? Fly?

392
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Speaker 1: What's green and flies the locust? That's too literal. It's

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Speaker 1: this is a joke. You're asking me super pick Oh

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Speaker 1: what super pick oh? God? What super so in order

395
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Speaker 1: to be a contestant on the show, Yes, telling dad

396
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Speaker 1: jokes is important, but also being a father is important. Yes, exactly,

397
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Speaker 1: it's it's dad jokes. So yeah, what do you want

398
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Speaker 1: me to play your kid or something? Yes? Yes, what whatever?

399
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Speaker 1: Whatever you want? Fine, you're gonna pay me, right, yes,

400
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Speaker 1: I'll pay you whatever you want the need to be

401
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Speaker 1: on dad's dad forty five year old man is your son?

402
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Speaker 1: And this little boy? Okay, good enough? Sign the papers?

403
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:04,920
Speaker 1: Look what is that flings these guys? Super pickle? That

404
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:08,480
Speaker 1: I read that on a laffy taffy rapper? What? No,

405
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Speaker 1: it's the original joke of mine. Okay, you can't cheat.

406
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:13,640
Speaker 1: Can't be a cheating I would not want cheat. Can't

407
00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:17,040
Speaker 1: be a cheaty look just like a cheet chetter. I'm

408
00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:21,240
Speaker 1: not the cheety chitter. You just let me and my

409
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Speaker 1: old son on the show. The bathroom. Please don't go here,

410
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,879
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Please don't Hey, I gotta go. I'm a

411
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:38,920
Speaker 1: kid look, uh is that right? Close enough? How are

412
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:44,320
Speaker 1: you doing an agent Marshal from a talent agent f

413
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:49,560
Speaker 1: D I? Oh yeah, wow, we have a realm make

414
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:53,920
Speaker 1: I'm likely used to last FBI agent I interacted with

415
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:58,040
Speaker 1: wolf Dog. Yeah, I ready reporters for a double homicide.

416
00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, get you seen. So we have reason to

417
00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:05,640
Speaker 1: believe that there is a rampant cheating going on and

418
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:11,160
Speaker 1: fraud within this competition. You aren't implying chitty cheating, are you?

419
00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:14,920
Speaker 1: That's exactly what I'm implying. Well, Agent, I'm sorry, I

420
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 1: didn't catch any marshal. Agent Marshal, I wouldn't know anything

421
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:22,760
Speaker 1: about that. Great. Great, So we're gonna have some agents

422
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:29,320
Speaker 1: walk around, do some We can't have any agents on set, okay,

423
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:33,440
Speaker 1: thank you, all right, we'll just be on the perimeter. Well,

424
00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 1: about tickets, so we can be in the audience. You

425
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:38,200
Speaker 1: can't be in the audience. Were about tickets, so it's

426
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,720
Speaker 1: not the tickets aren't for sale? Well how did we

427
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:43,960
Speaker 1: then some of them? So? Okay, I'm arresting you. What

428
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:52,960
Speaker 1: I'm arresting you? Please citizens around as you say another

429
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:55,600
Speaker 1: word about chitty cheating. It's going to get a lot

430
00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:57,040
Speaker 1: worse than this. You know what they do to guys

431
00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:59,560
Speaker 1: like you and the FI. I put so many people

432
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 1: away into suck me up? Hey, what's stupid and in

433
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 1: jail you? Oh god? Alright, students, So um we have

434
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:15,720
Speaker 1: Thomas's father is here today and he uh he makes

435
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:22,160
Speaker 1: up jokes for comedians. Isn't that correct, sir? Yeah, professional

436
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:26,120
Speaker 1: joke writer, tell us something funny. You want to see

437
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:28,240
Speaker 1: you write a joke right now? The stick one I

438
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:31,560
Speaker 1: really enjoyed that, Yeah, was brown and sticky. Well I

439
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:34,320
Speaker 1: have that on a popsicle stick once. Yeah, well they

440
00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:36,400
Speaker 1: bought it from me. I wrote it. I'm a ghostwriter

441
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:40,720
Speaker 1: for popsicle sticks. It's impressive. Dad, How did you guy?

442
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:49,840
Speaker 1: I'm not actually dead? Al right, yeah I did. I'm dead.

443
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 1: I was killed on a popsicle stick conveyor. Belt back

444
00:30:56,560 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 1: in and I'm forever doomed to walk this earth selling

445
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:05,640
Speaker 1: jokes to hack dadol origin story. We've actually never had

446
00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:09,320
Speaker 1: a ghost dad here before. That's very exciting. Call me

447
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:16,240
Speaker 1: ghost dad. This bad connotation that Bill Cosby movie. You're

448
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 1: Bill Cosby. No, I'm not Cosby. I'm not that goes

449
00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:26,800
Speaker 1: to Bill Cosby kids and you wake up in five

450
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 1: four three two. What how did that feel? Mr Cosby

451
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:44,080
Speaker 1: L Bunware? I got this important for me to eat

452
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:50,920
Speaker 1: family stuff to the memory. Well, now I proclaim you

453
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:59,240
Speaker 1: completely rehability. That means I get a show rat. I

454
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:03,080
Speaker 1: can holdst the dad show. Sure, let's cut to that.

455
00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 1: Somebody count me down. That's one good old You're the

456
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:28,239
Speaker 1: one we've had of you. Why die on that hill?

457
00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:38,920
Speaker 1: All right? Our final suggestion this afternoon, Good morning alchemists.

458
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:41,320
Speaker 1: This suggestion has brought to you, and it's part by

459
00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:44,200
Speaker 1: a small cup of coffee and pop tarts. It's a

460
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:49,920
Speaker 1: sad breakfast anyhow. My suggestion is this James Heaty and

461
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:53,040
Speaker 1: his wild adventures with the random fox. He was told

462
00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 1: not to feed, Thanks Devin. Okay, okay, you gotta give

463
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:01,960
Speaker 1: that back to me. I wasn't supposed to feed you.

464
00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:07,360
Speaker 1: Come on, come on, it's no like I don't gave

465
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:09,959
Speaker 1: it to me. It was a mistake. He gave it

466
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,800
Speaker 1: to me. Okay, Well, now we in this together. Got

467
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:16,600
Speaker 1: me more? Chicken Barnes, Hey, I don't have anything with

468
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:22,280
Speaker 1: me like my red tail. Mr listen, Oh Jesus, that's

469
00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:25,920
Speaker 1: my hand Chicken Barnes. What if I just broke you out?

470
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:29,240
Speaker 1: Of this su right are you talking? Look at that

471
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:32,240
Speaker 1: over there. It's James Heeney again talking to the animal.

472
00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:36,520
Speaker 1: This enclosure is amazing. I can't believe they have a

473
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:40,560
Speaker 1: Heeny here, so they're so rare. I think he's the

474
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:43,640
Speaker 1: last one. This is nuts. How do you propose we

475
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:45,720
Speaker 1: get out of here? You just happened to be thin

476
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:49,560
Speaker 1: enough to slip through scar on my show. Thank you?

477
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:52,120
Speaker 1: Come over here on me enough, I don't know, Get

478
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:58,520
Speaker 1: me way through the trees. Come into a nimble Look

479
00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:01,480
Speaker 1: at this long nimbody. Fuck. I can squish my skull

480
00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:05,040
Speaker 1: and I'm fine. Wow, that's I didn't expect that. So

481
00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:08,080
Speaker 1: what were saying? I'm saying if you come into myself,

482
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,960
Speaker 1: I think that you could probably dig out underneath, because

483
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:13,680
Speaker 1: why you're not getting me out? You're telling me to

484
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:16,719
Speaker 1: get myself out. No, no, yeah, I'll help you get

485
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:18,759
Speaker 1: out if you dig the hole. I don't know, maybe

486
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:22,040
Speaker 1: both get out of the hole. I don't know. I'm

487
00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 1: just trying to help you, just so sad. I mean

488
00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:27,120
Speaker 1: like he needs a bigger enclosure. He really does. I

489
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:29,960
Speaker 1: did a book report on him last year, and um,

490
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:32,000
Speaker 1: one of the things that I found out about him

491
00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:37,920
Speaker 1: is that he's a quiet murderer. Yeah, he quietly murders.

492
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:41,839
Speaker 1: It's it's so insane, but like it's obvious once you

493
00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:44,920
Speaker 1: look at him. Of course, because he's in such a

494
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:49,640
Speaker 1: small enclosure. He's going banana. Look at these hands, Foxy,

495
00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:53,960
Speaker 1: look at my teeth. I told you not to fade me,

496
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,279
Speaker 1: didn't I? But now you don't run out of chicken bar.

497
00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:58,200
Speaker 1: And you're the only thing that I could call a friend.

498
00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:00,840
Speaker 1: You're the only one I share a ball hard sell wall.

499
00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:04,040
Speaker 1: You're the only thing I can call names stupid. Don't

500
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:06,759
Speaker 1: call me stupid? Oh no, you don't. You done fed

501
00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:11,080
Speaker 1: the fox? Idiot? Yet? Done fed the fox? Mr curtain Um.

502
00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:14,960
Speaker 1: There seems to be some individuals at the zoo. It

503
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:18,120
Speaker 1: looks like they're starting a petition to free Mr Heeney.

504
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:20,920
Speaker 1: And um, I don't know if you want me to

505
00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:24,440
Speaker 1: squash that quick. Uh. And he's our most popular exhibit.

506
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:28,799
Speaker 1: I know, I love it. Um he's right next to

507
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 1: the Australian Fox. Yes, yeah, yeah, uh. And they're wondering.

508
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:37,080
Speaker 1: I mean, from what I can hear, they want them

509
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:40,320
Speaker 1: in a bigger enclosure, maybe like a Safari experience or

510
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:43,799
Speaker 1: something with a h Safari experience. How the hell am

511
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:45,799
Speaker 1: I supposed to pay for that? Mr? Curtain were at

512
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:49,879
Speaker 1: San Diego? Mr Kurtain, I understand, would I know, Sir?

513
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,680
Speaker 1: I was. I was just relaying the information as it's happening.

514
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:56,040
Speaker 1: I want us to squash this protest as quickly as possible,

515
00:35:56,040 --> 00:35:58,200
Speaker 1: all right, you know, I didn't want anything to go

516
00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:02,360
Speaker 1: over and all right, like, well we can. We have

517
00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:06,279
Speaker 1: in the budget to expand his enclosure by about tin

518
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 1: square feet, Kurt, and I want you to be excited

519
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:10,080
Speaker 1: about it. I don't want to be something that's you're

520
00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:12,480
Speaker 1: not excited about. Oh, we haven't a budget to expand

521
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:15,400
Speaker 1: his enclosure by tin square feet? How's that? L Wood?

522
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:18,160
Speaker 1: That's fine? Sound excited enough a little bit, Sir. I

523
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:23,320
Speaker 1: just all right, I can a shitty shitty zoo. Okay,

524
00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:25,920
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be upfront about that. I know, Sir. We

525
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:27,920
Speaker 1: do the best we can, but we have we have

526
00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:35,440
Speaker 1: James Heeney free, James Heeney free, James Teney free, free James.

527
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:40,239
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm so dehydrated at you. Hey, you

528
00:36:40,239 --> 00:36:44,360
Speaker 1: know what, everyone start drink a little bit of my blood. Okay, okay,

529
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:46,080
Speaker 1: there has to be a better option. I don't know.

530
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:49,720
Speaker 1: The waterfront's pretty far. Okay, have you ever thought that maybe,

531
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:54,399
Speaker 1: just maybe he isn't the last, Maybe there's other heenies out.

532
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:58,520
Speaker 1: I just I feel like I like the logic of

533
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:01,200
Speaker 1: this though, that makes sense. Don't just be one James

534
00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:06,640
Speaker 1: cut deep? All right, I'm not that thirsty. But okay,

535
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:09,440
Speaker 1: a yeah, there's guy. If there is a way to

536
00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:13,879
Speaker 1: find out more, we should. Okay, the diggings going well? Now,

537
00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:16,120
Speaker 1: where's like chicken? Barnes? You said you want to get

538
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:21,680
Speaker 1: to eat to me? Okay, okay, I'm sorry, I'm you're

539
00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:25,960
Speaker 1: so thin thin, Emma, you're so thin when you standside,

540
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:31,360
Speaker 1: I can't see you. Good one, Okay, alright, come into myself,

541
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:34,239
Speaker 1: Come into myself. I'm not even a problem for me.

542
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:37,839
Speaker 1: I've got a model's bill. Don't not you do? It's fantastic.

543
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:42,880
Speaker 1: Run why it's an unattractive kind of skinny. I'm sore skinny. Now.

544
00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:45,320
Speaker 1: What I'm hoping you can do is bills just fall

545
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:51,760
Speaker 1: off me. Don't buy well if you looking like a bag,

546
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:56,080
Speaker 1: look shake you could? Yes you could? Oh what isn't

547
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:59,040
Speaker 1: it time for he? He's three o'clock feeding? Yes? Mr?

548
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:01,799
Speaker 1: What are we feeding these we're lowering a cow into

549
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:07,080
Speaker 1: the enclosure, sir, great, great, all right, yeah, let me

550
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:08,400
Speaker 1: know when you do it, because I want to see that.

551
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:15,879
Speaker 1: I want to be there for that. Come on down, thick,

552
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:32,080
Speaker 1: build anything. Yeah, you don't mind if sharing them with

553
00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:36,960
Speaker 1: the auzzy fox. You have too much blood on my muzzle. No,

554
00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:42,400
Speaker 1: it's just the right amount of thank you, your majesty.

555
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:46,520
Speaker 1: They are taking they are taking us and feeding us

556
00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:52,920
Speaker 1: to the hey whole. Yeah, what are they feeding us whole?

557
00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:57,640
Speaker 1: A processing plan? They're feeding us whole? Well, then I

558
00:38:57,800 --> 00:39:02,799
Speaker 1: believe it's a time for a bovi and wo try

559
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:06,880
Speaker 1: to feed me. I can't even move. This isn't the

560
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:10,680
Speaker 1: time for that, chuck. This is the time for war.

561
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:19,239
Speaker 1: Down the drums, women, I don't know. It sounds like

562
00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:26,279
Speaker 1: a lot of bull not be derailed by a nonsense,

563
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:34,400
Speaker 1: Your majestie. They've declared Laura on the other enies. What

564
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:37,040
Speaker 1: we convinced them that you were the last? But he's

565
00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:39,160
Speaker 1: not the last, and they've declared war. We gotta go

566
00:39:39,239 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 1: help James Eady. There's another James Heeney. They're they're keeping

567
00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:47,719
Speaker 1: a James Lee captain. Oh no, oh no, guys, we

568
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:51,960
Speaker 1: should all bond together. Where is this suit? Should should

569
00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:55,400
Speaker 1: we get the archers? Yeah? I get the archers. Archers ready,

570
00:39:56,080 --> 00:40:05,880
Speaker 1: archers ready, all right, everybody into the Ford Fiesta. I

571
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:14,040
Speaker 1: can't fit. I can't fit, Mr Mr Curtin, what's going

572
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:17,239
Speaker 1: on now? Wellwood? There seems to be an army, a

573
00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:20,440
Speaker 1: legion of cows amassing in front of the zoo. And

574
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:23,759
Speaker 1: it looks like in the distance one Ford Fiesta with

575
00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:28,200
Speaker 1: maybe two hundred James Heeney poking outside of it. Let

576
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:33,480
Speaker 1: me know when to get closer. Sorry, we're getting out

577
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:36,319
Speaker 1: right about now. This is good news. Can you fit

578
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:40,520
Speaker 1: three here? I mean too much? Cow? Does it look

579
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:42,480
Speaker 1: like I ate too much? I don't think you can

580
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:45,080
Speaker 1: fit through this hole? Lot and digging after that meal?

581
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:47,360
Speaker 1: Could you dig it a little wider? I could not

582
00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:49,480
Speaker 1: dig it a little Look at my little bitty tawny

583
00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:54,239
Speaker 1: skinny paws. You've bitten my hands up. Maybe I'll just

584
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:57,040
Speaker 1: take the extra off with my mouth. Little you down

585
00:40:57,080 --> 00:41:02,200
Speaker 1: a bit? Oh, it's just swelling me up. James Dave,

586
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:12,719
Speaker 1: James j d more fun out casting my skull change

587
00:41:12,760 --> 00:41:14,520
Speaker 1: as quick. There's a little tiny hole over here with

588
00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:16,919
Speaker 1: you need to get an extend over here let's make

589
00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:26,200
Speaker 1: a heinie stack. Guys, I've made some cows angry, but

590
00:41:26,239 --> 00:41:28,040
Speaker 1: I've been eating them whole, so we're gonna have to

591
00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:30,719
Speaker 1: defend ourselves against them. Wait what she just saying that?

592
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:34,640
Speaker 1: It's me, the original the real James doun the original names.

593
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:44,239
Speaker 1: Oh wait, wait, where are you guys going? We gotta

594
00:41:44,239 --> 00:41:46,839
Speaker 1: get out of here. Where are you going? I don't

595
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:53,200
Speaker 1: know where? Cowards by? That's the true play. He does

596
00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:58,960
Speaker 1: not pull gime. Why are you on the outside of

597
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:02,000
Speaker 1: the marshals on the outside, because let's draw it through

598
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:05,239
Speaker 1: the hall. Yeah, you can't leave me here? Oh yes

599
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:08,839
Speaker 1: I can. Oh well, I'm gonna come back every day

600
00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:10,759
Speaker 1: and look at you through the bars. How about that?

601
00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:17,680
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna be riding a cow. Yeah okay, Mr Curtin,

602
00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:21,400
Speaker 1: what's going on now, Elwood? Well, the the cow's attacked

603
00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:24,240
Speaker 1: and they ran over the majority of the heeness which exists,

604
00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:28,880
Speaker 1: So it's not just one James Heeney and uh and

605
00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:34,280
Speaker 1: the fox day escape the fox escape? Yes on account,

606
00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:37,480
Speaker 1: God damn it. What about the protesters? Are they still there?

607
00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:40,520
Speaker 1: They were trampled by the cow. Okay, well we've managed

608
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:45,800
Speaker 1: to evade that problem. Yes, Mr Curlin. I just I

609
00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:48,440
Speaker 1: was digging through the archives, and it turns out Elwood's

610
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:55,560
Speaker 1: full name is Elwood Heeney. What must be a typo

611
00:42:56,840 --> 00:43:03,120
Speaker 1: right here, You're a heeny No three Ellahini free, lad

612
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:09,080
Speaker 1: Heini free, el shitty zoo, you sons of bitches. I'm

613
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:11,800
Speaker 1: gonna keep this heiny in this enclosure. I lost my

614
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:14,880
Speaker 1: original heeny, but this hen he's gonna live here with

615
00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:21,359
Speaker 1: this cow as long as I say that he does poor.

616
00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:27,839
Speaker 1: I'm a hey. I'm a he Hey and he were

617
00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:39,280
Speaker 1: living together. Now, knock knock, what's there interrupting cow? Okay,

618
00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:51,759
Speaker 1: knock knock? What's there interrupting cow? Okay? Mon? What's there

619
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:57,120
Speaker 1: interrupting cow? And you'll wake up in five full three? Two?

620
00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:03,400
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Oh my god. How I felt like

621
00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:07,040
Speaker 1: I was being engaged imprisoned. It would be awful, wouldn't

622
00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:11,239
Speaker 1: it if if you were in prison with an interrupting cow. Yeah,

623
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:13,920
Speaker 1: it would have been, but it was It was more

624
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:17,560
Speaker 1: like a looped joke. Yeah, it would have been pretty bad.

625
00:44:18,120 --> 00:44:20,200
Speaker 1: I felt like but I felt like I shouldn't have

626
00:44:20,239 --> 00:44:21,960
Speaker 1: been in the cow room. I felt like I was

627
00:44:22,080 --> 00:44:25,000
Speaker 1: still in the original room with the whole Oh you

628
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:28,360
Speaker 1: were in my dream word. You know what, It probably

629
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:31,080
Speaker 1: doesn't make sense to you because I was dreaming it. Yeah.

630
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:33,440
Speaker 1: I don't get the watch your dream on the screen.

631
00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:35,520
Speaker 1: It would be cool if you could. They're pretty awesome.

632
00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:39,160
Speaker 1: They're like triple A budget dreams. I think the important

633
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:43,600
Speaker 1: takeaway here, Mr Heeny is that isn't it good that

634
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:46,920
Speaker 1: that you're not in a zoo? Yeah? It is. I'm

635
00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:48,640
Speaker 1: just really glad. I've never been able to go to

636
00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 1: a psychologist or psycho therapy, whatever you are. This is great.

637
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:56,160
Speaker 1: I hope it's covered on my health insurance. Psychotherapist, you

638
00:44:56,239 --> 00:44:58,319
Speaker 1: didn't check that ahead of time. If it's covered, well,

639
00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:00,600
Speaker 1: I'm hoping that just the sense of letting me in

640
00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:05,440
Speaker 1: means it's covered. Okay, that's something from my reception, like

641
00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:10,359
Speaker 1: I don't I don't handle. You'll wake up in five, four,

642
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:16,359
Speaker 1: three to one. Oh my gosh, Richie, No, James, we're

643
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:24,000
Speaker 1: all here waiting for you. It's the James Reunion. Oh gosh.

644
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:30,160
Speaker 1: So okay, and you're James, and you're James, and I'm

645
00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:33,880
Speaker 1: James James. I'm James James. I'm the real James. You

646
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:44,680
Speaker 1: know what, there's only enough room for one all right, Stephanie,

647
00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:48,759
Speaker 1: Well you've really proven your responsibility with these frogs. So

648
00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:51,480
Speaker 1: I told you your father and I we got you.

649
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:53,440
Speaker 1: We didn't get you a dog, but we did get

650
00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:58,759
Speaker 1: you a James Keen And what was that? I was disappointed?

651
00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:02,000
Speaker 1: Oh really, I thought you would be so excited my

652
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 1: last check. It was his very last page check. What's

653
00:46:05,120 --> 00:46:08,000
Speaker 1: your last check? Nobody had that gig with the musicians.

654
00:46:08,239 --> 00:46:11,239
Speaker 1: Just want a dog, not a word? Guy covered in

655
00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:13,920
Speaker 1: blood so cute, it's really it's the last one of

656
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,439
Speaker 1: his kind. Yeah, I made sure that I was really

657
00:46:16,480 --> 00:46:18,960
Speaker 1: the last one this time. I'm a pretty responsibility for

658
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:24,440
Speaker 1: a kid. Well that's why exactly where you kind it's

659
00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:29,560
Speaker 1: my last page check that you don't understand you're just

660
00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:31,560
Speaker 1: a kid. But it's okay. I'll give you a hug,

661
00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:35,040
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. Don't hug him your mind that

662
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:39,320
Speaker 1: I'm just just generally usually nice guy. I want something loyal.

663
00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:43,840
Speaker 1: I'm loyal. You should feed him. He's probably starving. I

664
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:48,239
Speaker 1: am starving, and i'd just food like you know, like

665
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:53,040
Speaker 1: corn an no no, no, not kipple, like Kimble's food,

666
00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:59,560
Speaker 1: like chicken. I can't eat that. And you're all for

667
00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:04,319
Speaker 1: the need to kill Jay, I mean run James, run

668
00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:12,759
Speaker 1: Georgia's salamanders. You look at that little listard. What are

669
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:15,239
Speaker 1: you killing it? I gotta go fund working kill Please

670
00:47:15,239 --> 00:47:24,560
Speaker 1: don't leave us a kid. What happened. Look, I'm gonna

671
00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:28,000
Speaker 1: leave us kid, and I'm gonna get the little and

672
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:31,600
Speaker 1: then I'm gonna go all right, I won't. I won't

673
00:47:31,640 --> 00:47:34,400
Speaker 1: forgive you this time. Come on, don't say that I

674
00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:39,000
Speaker 1: love you the salamander. I can't eat eat the salamander.

675
00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:48,000
Speaker 1: It's just as bad as I thought. Thank you, And

676
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:52,640
Speaker 1: that's our show over today. Let's go around and say, well,

677
00:47:52,680 --> 00:47:57,200
Speaker 1: we're up to Alchemist Carla Kaski Carla Kakowski dot com,

678
00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:06,960
Speaker 1: Vanessa Raglan. Yeah, I'm sorry about the show guy. What

679
00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:11,759
Speaker 1: a weird thing everyone just had to go through. I

680
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:15,239
Speaker 1: love you. I don't have anything to plug, not on

681
00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:21,400
Speaker 1: this episode. I'm not who you think I am. Craig Kakoski.

682
00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:24,480
Speaker 1: If you got kids, like in the six to ten range,

683
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:27,239
Speaker 1: they might enjoy a show called Archibald's Next Big Thing,

684
00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:30,880
Speaker 1: which is uh Starry on Netflix in September that I

685
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:34,000
Speaker 1: do some of the voices. It's a very cute and

686
00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:39,600
Speaker 1: sweet show that Tony Hale created the particular archibald and

687
00:48:39,719 --> 00:48:41,719
Speaker 1: one of the nicest human beings in the world. That

688
00:48:41,840 --> 00:48:46,960
Speaker 1: Tony Oh yeah, yeah, Tony Hall is to James had

689
00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:52,080
Speaker 1: I'd just like to take a chance. Well, I was

690
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:56,600
Speaker 1: proposing to all the people that listened and did the

691
00:48:56,920 --> 00:49:03,479
Speaker 1: did the refuse? We got scrowdy war to really really

692
00:49:04,239 --> 00:49:07,319
Speaker 1: Isaac fifty seven CRM thirty one. Wait, did you say

693
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:10,560
Speaker 1: we got scroty want us? Because we've been needing a

694
00:49:10,719 --> 00:49:13,560
Speaker 1: review from peoplady wanting and we got one would star

695
00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:18,280
Speaker 1: Wars characters. I don't know we got til twelve Tissel.

696
00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:23,040
Speaker 1: I guess to you guys all left reviews like a

697
00:49:23,120 --> 00:49:26,680
Speaker 1: good good thank you. It was really nice of them

698
00:49:26,719 --> 00:49:32,560
Speaker 1: to open. It doesn't mean something that I'm unfamiliar with.

699
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:41,360
Speaker 1: Its yeah, it's it is scroty what appear heart, But

700
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:43,680
Speaker 1: people should leave us reviews and that's so nice that

701
00:49:43,719 --> 00:49:46,280
Speaker 1: people they did that. Someone said that I was forcing

702
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:49,640
Speaker 1: them to do it, and I'm okay with that. It

703
00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:51,320
Speaker 1: wasn't you was one of the other James he needs

704
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:56,879
Speaker 1: Joey Greer. I just want to go with James said,

705
00:49:57,080 --> 00:50:00,640
Speaker 1: and thank you for everyone left review and classy move

706
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:05,879
Speaker 1: joy check out Bear supply and pretty Pretty Ponny, what's

707
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:08,520
Speaker 1: that coming with your Yeah, pretty pretty Punny the last

708
00:50:08,680 --> 00:50:13,520
Speaker 1: sec first first Thursday every month at ten pm. I'm

709
00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:16,080
Speaker 1: at Cole Stratton or at Stratton Cold, depending on the

710
00:50:16,120 --> 00:50:19,279
Speaker 1: social media platform. Uh yeah, and check out Pretty Pretty

711
00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:22,040
Speaker 1: Pony and this here show. Also thanks to our engineer

712
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:28,239
Speaker 1: Doug Babe, our post sound design artist Raphael Brito, our

713
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:37,560
Speaker 1: producers Sophie Lichtman, and lastly I Heart Media, Sumpumum, Loose Milk,

714
00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:40,760
Speaker 1: Get Loose Milk, acroach. All of you to write a review.

715
00:50:40,840 --> 00:50:42,880
Speaker 1: Like we said before, tell everyone you've ever met and

716
00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:45,399
Speaker 1: write to us with your scene suggestions and whatever else.

717
00:50:45,560 --> 00:50:48,879
Speaker 1: At your name here at alchemy this dot com. That's

718
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:52,680
Speaker 1: your name here at alchemy this dot com until next time.

719
00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:02,479
Speaker 1: I already wanted his pretty wear