1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,520 Speaker 1: Hey, this is aam. This is John, your og okay 2 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:06,200 Speaker 1: storytime podcast host, and we got some delicious, juicy stories 3 00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:06,640 Speaker 1: coming up. 4 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:08,960 Speaker 2: But if you want to hear that deliciousness, you know, 5 00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:10,959 Speaker 2: just stick around for a two minute break with a 6 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,600 Speaker 2: word from our sponsors. 7 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:16,680 Speaker 1: My wife confessed to her affair because she regretted it. 8 00:00:17,079 --> 00:00:21,120 Speaker 1: My wife, I'm twenty seven mal lost after a confession 9 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:23,959 Speaker 1: from my wife twenty nine email, I'm stuck in my 10 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:27,200 Speaker 1: own head and need an outside perspective for some context. 11 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:30,000 Speaker 1: We're college sweethearts, married for six years, and we have 12 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:33,560 Speaker 1: a daughter or female. My wife's not only my first 13 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:37,240 Speaker 1: love but also my best friend. The family we built 14 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:39,879 Speaker 1: means the world to me. Recently, our marriage hit a 15 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 1: rough patch when my in laws fifty nine female and 16 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:47,479 Speaker 1: fifty nine male, stayed with us for a few months. 17 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:50,680 Speaker 1: It put a lot of strain on our relationship. My 18 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,400 Speaker 1: mother in law has always been gracious, but my father 19 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:56,800 Speaker 1: in law never approved of us. I'm not on his 20 00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 1: top five choices for his daughter. 21 00:00:59,640 --> 00:00:59,800 Speaker 3: Ah. 22 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:03,520 Speaker 1: He straight up told me I wasn't good enough for her. 23 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:07,680 Speaker 1: He even initially refused to walk her down the aisle 24 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:11,800 Speaker 1: because of his disapproval of me. Oh, he's our biggest obstacle. 25 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:14,720 Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from a throw away radio 26 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:16,639 Speaker 1: sauna and if you want to spit your own stories 27 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:18,560 Speaker 1: or to the our slash okay story time subbured it. 28 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:21,160 Speaker 1: I'm trying to ignore him. We no longer had our 29 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:23,880 Speaker 1: space as a couple and family. My father in law 30 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:27,640 Speaker 1: took over everything and undermining me to our daughter. He 31 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:31,920 Speaker 1: called it his grandfather rights. He came between my wife 32 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:35,480 Speaker 1: and I. She would make excuses for him or say 33 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:38,880 Speaker 1: he still needed her dad. We were pitted against each other. 34 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:43,600 Speaker 1: We stopped communicating, bought often with no resolutions, and intimacy 35 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:47,960 Speaker 1: went extinct. We're still in recovery. We're working on reconnecting. 36 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:51,800 Speaker 1: We went to this retreat for our anniversary, and overall 37 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:54,240 Speaker 1: it was good for us. We were able to talk 38 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:56,760 Speaker 1: and have fun with each other again. Part of the 39 00:01:56,800 --> 00:02:01,919 Speaker 1: program was intimacy exercises, basically stared into each other's eyes 40 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:05,320 Speaker 1: in a quiet space for extended period. It's supposed to 41 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:08,040 Speaker 1: help us be present with each other. We decided to 42 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:11,880 Speaker 1: continue these exercises at home, so during our last exercise, 43 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:15,560 Speaker 1: we were staring into each other's eyes. We're talking about 44 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:18,440 Speaker 1: stuff we appreciate and I start telling her how much 45 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:21,760 Speaker 1: she means to me and what specifically I love about her. 46 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,040 Speaker 1: She looked like she was in pain the more it 47 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:27,400 Speaker 1: went on. She told me to stop praising her and 48 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:31,079 Speaker 1: how I didn't know everything. I asked her what she meant, 49 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:36,120 Speaker 1: and she confessed to a near physical affair. During our fallout. 50 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:39,040 Speaker 1: She said she was lonely. We were on opposite sides 51 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:41,959 Speaker 1: of the earth, and there was a coworker nineteen mel 52 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,960 Speaker 1: showing her with attention and affection. Or that's too young, 53 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:48,040 Speaker 1: nineteen Malde. This girl is like t twenty seven, that's 54 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:51,639 Speaker 1: too young. So this is what's happening. You got a nice, 55 00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:54,280 Speaker 1: stable husband at home, and you got this nineteen year 56 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 1: old gen z lunatic being like, ahha with some mommy, 57 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:02,360 Speaker 1: let me try to slide in there. That's what he's doing. 58 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:05,440 Speaker 1: And you're Leonard. You're Leonard letting that little torp do that. 59 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:07,880 Speaker 4: I think this is one of the downfalls of the 60 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:12,120 Speaker 4: Internet and the mommy fantasy. It's now coming into off 61 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:14,399 Speaker 4: of the Internet. It's not just a Reddit thing, Dang dude, 62 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:15,560 Speaker 4: it's not just a chat thing now. 63 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:16,520 Speaker 3: It's like real. 64 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,799 Speaker 1: In this case, at first, she ignored him, but his 65 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:25,239 Speaker 1: chasing began feeling good, she softened. She got a high 66 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 1: from that. Sorry, I'm just sitting character here, She got 67 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:32,120 Speaker 1: a high from it. She was engrossed, and they'd have 68 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:35,440 Speaker 1: their lunch break together every day and hung out after work. 69 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:39,360 Speaker 1: Other coworkers teased her about how she had the guy 70 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:43,840 Speaker 1: wrapped around her finger and him being whipped. She dismissed them, 71 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: but felt guilty about what others were perceiving, so he 72 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:53,520 Speaker 1: moved their lunches to ar. She convinced herself the relationship 73 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:59,440 Speaker 1: wasn't wrong because nothing physical occurred in private that shared lingering, 74 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:03,240 Speaker 1: hugs and touches with each other. She eventually resolved to 75 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:06,480 Speaker 1: have spicy sleep with him on their next hangout, but 76 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:11,320 Speaker 1: she stopped because of her love for our family. She said, 77 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:14,200 Speaker 1: while on her way out to meet him, she saw 78 00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:17,279 Speaker 1: our daughter and me having a good time playing together, 79 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:20,159 Speaker 1: and how our daughter gave her a drawing over her family. 80 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:23,200 Speaker 1: They reminded her of what we had on our commitment. 81 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:26,599 Speaker 1: I remember that night too, her telling me she was 82 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:29,320 Speaker 1: invited out for a girls' night, her getting ready and 83 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:33,520 Speaker 1: how excited she was, and her suddenly canceling and ignoring 84 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:35,719 Speaker 1: her phone. You know what This reminds me of is 85 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:37,080 Speaker 1: did you ever watch Stranger Things? 86 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:37,360 Speaker 4: Yeah? 87 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:41,320 Speaker 1: Remember that whenever Nancy's mom is going out to meet 88 00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:45,560 Speaker 1: Billy and then she sees her husband knocked out with 89 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,080 Speaker 1: the baby on his chest, and he's like and she 90 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:51,920 Speaker 1: decided to stay. Yeah, this is what's happening right now. Yeah. 91 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:52,719 Speaker 4: Absolutely. 92 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:56,599 Speaker 1: Oh man, I'm looking back on it a lot differently now. 93 00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:59,880 Speaker 1: I was too numb to respond. It didn't seem real. 94 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:03,480 Speaker 1: She asked me to say something. I asked why she 95 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:06,400 Speaker 1: was confessing now. She said it was weighing on her, 96 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:10,080 Speaker 1: and me speaking so positively about her made it worse. 97 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,840 Speaker 1: I asked if she was still involved with a coworker. 98 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:16,159 Speaker 1: She swore she wasn't. She broke things off with him 99 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:19,360 Speaker 1: with no contact and he transferred to a different department. 100 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:23,040 Speaker 1: He said losing our family wasn't worth the risk. I 101 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:25,640 Speaker 1: asked her if she ever planned to tell me. She 102 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:28,800 Speaker 1: admitted no. She convinced herself there wasn't anything to tell 103 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:31,400 Speaker 1: because she didn't go through with it. We got a 104 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:33,880 Speaker 1: little bit more before we get through that. But honestly, 105 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:37,560 Speaker 1: this is emotional cheating, but I think we can work 106 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:39,720 Speaker 1: through it. If this happened, I'd be like, we can 107 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:42,360 Speaker 1: work through this. You didn't do anything, pol you almost did, 108 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:45,080 Speaker 1: but you stopped and thank you for telling also too, 109 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:48,400 Speaker 1: she told him. That's another huge plus there, not plus, 110 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:50,640 Speaker 1: but you know thing to add. 111 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:53,640 Speaker 4: I I'm on the fence with her because she fully 112 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,920 Speaker 4: planned to do it. Like if she didn't happen to 113 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,880 Speaker 4: stop and glance at him in that moment, she would 114 00:05:57,880 --> 00:05:59,080 Speaker 4: have fully gone out there and. 115 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:00,680 Speaker 1: Done You think that should divorce? 116 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,320 Speaker 4: No, but I'm just so. 117 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:03,640 Speaker 1: You think they think you're working out too. 118 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:05,360 Speaker 4: I think they can work it out, but I don't 119 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:08,680 Speaker 4: think that it's gonna be uneasy process. And I think 120 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:11,200 Speaker 4: that she's I think that she's a lot more at 121 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:16,080 Speaker 4: fault here than he's willing to currently giving her credit 122 00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:18,000 Speaker 4: for ror that she's willing to admit because she knew 123 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:20,239 Speaker 4: it was weird. She knew she moved to the car 124 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:22,480 Speaker 4: because she didn't want people commenting on even though she 125 00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:24,960 Speaker 4: knew that it's so guilty. Yeah, she felt the guilt. 126 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,800 Speaker 4: So that's already there. Like you said, emotional cheating, it's there. 127 00:06:27,839 --> 00:06:29,919 Speaker 4: The fact that she didn't go through with it gives 128 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:33,640 Speaker 4: it some grace and wiggle room, like there is potential 129 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:35,920 Speaker 4: to save it, but I don't. 130 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:37,400 Speaker 1: Know if well. 131 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:39,360 Speaker 4: I mean, they're gonna have to do the work together. 132 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:40,680 Speaker 4: She's gonna have to do the work together. 133 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:46,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, I true. So my mother in law knew before me. Oh, 134 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:48,719 Speaker 1: the guilt was eating away at my wife, and she 135 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:52,120 Speaker 1: opened up to her mom. My mother in law told 136 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:54,159 Speaker 1: her I needed to hear the truth from her, and 137 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:58,960 Speaker 1: my wife needed to trust in our relationship. It got 138 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:01,359 Speaker 1: to me to my wh I told her that I 139 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:05,320 Speaker 1: couldn't do this right now and we needed in the exercise. 140 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,640 Speaker 1: She kept asking for me not to shut down on 141 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:10,840 Speaker 1: her and proclaiming how she loves me and wants our family. 142 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:14,040 Speaker 1: I told her that I didn't want to hear I 143 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:17,000 Speaker 1: love yous. Right then she said the coworker was the 144 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:20,040 Speaker 1: biggest mistake she's ever made, and she's fully committed to me. 145 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:23,840 Speaker 1: I only told her I needed some space to process. Girl, 146 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:25,520 Speaker 1: give him some space. He needs to figure this out. 147 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:28,200 Speaker 1: He'll come around. Just give him some space. 148 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 4: This isn't like a oh, hey, I forgot to tell 149 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:35,400 Speaker 4: you I borrowed your credit card, sorry thing. 150 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:38,480 Speaker 1: No, this is a this is heavy I almost cheated 151 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:38,880 Speaker 1: on you. 152 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:41,480 Speaker 4: And for him to go from like saying like you're great. 153 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:44,200 Speaker 4: I trust you and everything to this. This is not 154 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:47,760 Speaker 4: something you can bounce back from in in just like 155 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:51,720 Speaker 4: a day, yep, or even like a week. There's healing 156 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:54,960 Speaker 4: in processing. He's got to go through the proper stages 157 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:55,600 Speaker 4: of grief here. 158 00:07:55,840 --> 00:08:02,000 Speaker 1: Mm hmmmm. Sometimes she respects my Space request, sometimes she doesn't. 159 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,240 Speaker 1: I moved out to the guest room for the time being. 160 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:07,800 Speaker 1: Sends affirmation texts about her love and what our vows 161 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:10,920 Speaker 1: mean to her. I'm still just really numb right now. 162 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,400 Speaker 1: This is heck. I don't know what to do with 163 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:16,360 Speaker 1: her confession. I knew things weren't perfect. I knew we 164 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:18,360 Speaker 1: were in a bad place and working our way back, 165 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:21,760 Speaker 1: but I never expected this. I was here wanting my wife, 166 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,680 Speaker 1: wanting to work on our marriage and our family. She 167 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:27,560 Speaker 1: goes off sneaking around with some nineteen year old kid, like, 168 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:30,400 Speaker 1: what the heck? What are we doing here? I don't 169 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:34,199 Speaker 1: relate either. I never looked elsewhere my wife is it 170 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,800 Speaker 1: for me to me? She had a place in my 171 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:39,600 Speaker 1: life that no one else could feel. I don't have 172 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:41,720 Speaker 1: anyone to talk to with. My wife is the only 173 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:44,640 Speaker 1: one I could holy be myself with, opening up to 174 00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:47,240 Speaker 1: about anything. But I feel like I can't do that now. 175 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:50,200 Speaker 1: It feels like I was drowning and just when I 176 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,400 Speaker 1: was getting back on the boat, I was shoved backing 177 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:55,120 Speaker 1: into the water. I am at a complete loss. How 178 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:57,720 Speaker 1: don't move past this. We'll continue to work on my marriage. 179 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,760 Speaker 1: We have an update Number one. I think you need 180 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:04,560 Speaker 1: some friends, yep. Because if your wife is your first 181 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:07,839 Speaker 1: love from high school or college and that's all you 182 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:09,720 Speaker 1: got and you can't talk to anyone else right now, 183 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:13,240 Speaker 1: I think you need to expand your your social circle. 184 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:17,120 Speaker 1: That is also kind of tough to be around. We 185 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:19,760 Speaker 1: have an update, but first, I also wanted to clarify 186 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:23,160 Speaker 1: something with my in laws fifty nine male and fifty 187 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:26,280 Speaker 1: eight female that I was asked a lot my wife 188 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:28,600 Speaker 1: twenty nine female, and I opened her home because my 189 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:30,480 Speaker 1: in laws were moving close to us so they could 190 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:33,319 Speaker 1: see our daughter or female for more and one of 191 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:36,000 Speaker 1: the spaces to say while they got everything in order. 192 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,640 Speaker 1: Their stay ended up being a lot longer than expected, 193 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:40,920 Speaker 1: and I didn't think my father in law would escalate 194 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:43,360 Speaker 1: to the point that he did. I didn't realize that's 195 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:46,160 Speaker 1: all it had. It had taken on my family. But 196 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:49,720 Speaker 1: my in laws have since moved out the issue is 197 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,400 Speaker 1: in my mother in law. Though she has always been gracious, 198 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:54,480 Speaker 1: it's just my father in law on through the update, 199 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:57,200 Speaker 1: I had time to process and was in a lot 200 00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:59,560 Speaker 1: better headspace to talk to my wife. There we go, 201 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,800 Speaker 1: that's what we she said. Thankfully, we found an opportunity 202 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,760 Speaker 1: when our daughter was at home. I don't want her 203 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,839 Speaker 1: exposed to our fights. We were good at keeping her 204 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:11,560 Speaker 1: out of them until my in law stayed. She was 205 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:12,800 Speaker 1: exposed to us fighting. 206 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:12,959 Speaker 2: Then. 207 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:17,080 Speaker 1: It's partially why I paused the convost slashed intimacy exercise 208 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:20,440 Speaker 1: after my wife's confession, because it was only leading into 209 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:24,000 Speaker 1: a fight. I did want to cultivate a healthier environment 210 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:27,160 Speaker 1: for our daughter. My wife said she was glad we 211 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:30,600 Speaker 1: were talking again and how she didn't want to hide 212 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:34,240 Speaker 1: things anymore or have secrets from me. She asked where 213 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:37,199 Speaker 1: her confession about the affair left us. I told her 214 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:40,000 Speaker 1: it left us. No, We're good. I know I love her, 215 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:43,120 Speaker 1: I want our family, and I was committed to repairing 216 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:46,160 Speaker 1: our marriage. I thought we were making progress and healing, 217 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,720 Speaker 1: but I don't know the full extent of our wounds. 218 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:52,560 Speaker 1: The affair is brand new for me. Around his hiring, 219 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:54,920 Speaker 1: I remember my wife told me she thought he had 220 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:58,600 Speaker 1: a crush on her and that he'd get shy around her. 221 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:01,840 Speaker 1: It was innocent. I never gave it another thought. I 222 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:04,960 Speaker 1: told her I wanted to see their text history. She 223 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:08,120 Speaker 1: said she had deleted his contact and their text, but 224 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:11,040 Speaker 1: she could retrieve it back up from my cloud. Okay, okay. 225 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:14,480 Speaker 1: In supported her account. The timeline ended up to the 226 00:11:14,559 --> 00:11:17,360 Speaker 1: night where they were supposed to have spicy sleep. There 227 00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:20,319 Speaker 1: weren't any weird gaps. Seeing those texts hurt, like heck, 228 00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:23,960 Speaker 1: her indulging another guy in that way, the emotional intimacy 229 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:27,000 Speaker 1: and everything else. She checked out of our marriage and 230 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,760 Speaker 1: gave that kid a part of herself. I was completely 231 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:30,440 Speaker 1: shout out. 232 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:33,840 Speaker 4: Of I feel like, I'm glad that they decided to 233 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:36,440 Speaker 4: work through it. I'm glad that they decided that they 234 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:40,200 Speaker 4: there was something to save here. No, I'm glad that 235 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,960 Speaker 4: OPI is mature enough to be like, hey, I don't 236 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:42,640 Speaker 4: want this fight. 237 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:43,160 Speaker 1: Around our kid. 238 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:45,600 Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah, the kid's the real the biggest victim. 239 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:48,240 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, absolutely the victim. 240 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,160 Speaker 4: The trust is going to be hard to build back, 241 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:51,280 Speaker 4: but it's possible. 242 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:51,800 Speaker 1: Yeah. 243 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:54,559 Speaker 4: The fact that they're discussing it is good. 244 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:57,199 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I agreed, agreed, got a little bit left here. 245 00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:00,000 Speaker 1: She said she'd do anything to get us back on track, 246 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:03,080 Speaker 1: that she's committed to me and working on our marriage. 247 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:05,680 Speaker 1: She just wants to make everything right. I said, I 248 00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:08,520 Speaker 1: didn't know how to trust her. She lied, schemed, and 249 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,240 Speaker 1: had plans to tell me the truth. She decided to 250 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:14,079 Speaker 1: withhold that privilege. She said she was afraid she crossed 251 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:16,880 Speaker 1: the line we couldn't come back from. She had made 252 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:21,320 Speaker 1: huge mistakes and wanted to fix everything. Prior to our marriage, 253 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:24,760 Speaker 1: we had promised each other unconditional love. She was afraid 254 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:27,760 Speaker 1: she lose that from me, that her actions pushed that 255 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:30,680 Speaker 1: love out of orbit. She asked if it was possible 256 00:12:30,679 --> 00:12:33,840 Speaker 1: for us to recover and keep rebuilding. I told her 257 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:37,319 Speaker 1: I couldn't give her a definite answer anymore. I'm not 258 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:39,760 Speaker 1: sure if I can forgive the affair, but I'm willing 259 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:44,360 Speaker 1: to give reconciliation a try, so we're entering Cochpol's counseling. 260 00:12:44,679 --> 00:12:48,160 Speaker 1: I can't at terms reconciliation without it. There's just too 261 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:51,200 Speaker 1: much to navigate on our own, and the danger of 262 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:54,280 Speaker 1: us falling back into bad communication habits. I want to 263 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:57,439 Speaker 1: be helpful, but I don't know what to expect right now. 264 00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,599 Speaker 1: I just feel beat down and broken. I don't know 265 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:03,240 Speaker 1: if any thing would come from therapy, but my family 266 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,719 Speaker 1: means the world to me. I need to see if 267 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:08,080 Speaker 1: it can be saved. Thank you for everyone's support, and 268 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:11,720 Speaker 1: the resource is shared. It's much appreciated. That's the end 269 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:12,240 Speaker 1: of that one. 270 00:13:12,679 --> 00:13:15,160 Speaker 4: At this point. The only thing that you can hope 271 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:16,680 Speaker 4: for is that therapy will help. 272 00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:17,280 Speaker 1: Yeah. 273 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:19,920 Speaker 4: Having the outside perspective I think is necessary. 274 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:20,400 Speaker 1: Yeah. 275 00:13:20,559 --> 00:13:22,720 Speaker 4: I think that if left to their own devices, I 276 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:23,840 Speaker 4: think the hurt would fester. 277 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:25,839 Speaker 1: Yeah. 278 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,440 Speaker 4: I do think that there is hope, but they have 279 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:32,240 Speaker 4: to maintain a path that's set forth by some like 280 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:33,079 Speaker 4: outside party. 281 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:35,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, they're definitely. I think it's gonna be another little 282 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:39,960 Speaker 1: rough patch. I love this dynamic. I just want op 283 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:46,120 Speaker 1: to get more male friends and just stick it to 284 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:49,040 Speaker 1: the dad, the father in law and continue down this road. 285 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:50,760 Speaker 1: You're gonna be a strong dad, and you're gonna be 286 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:53,199 Speaker 1: a strong parent, and I see a bright future here. 287 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:53,679 Speaker 1: I love this. 288 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:57,800 Speaker 5: My boyfriend believed that I'm only dating him because he's rich. 289 00:13:58,280 --> 00:13:59,640 Speaker 3: Well, if I was. 290 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:03,000 Speaker 5: I Seil twenty nine have been dating my boyfriend Mail 291 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:06,000 Speaker 5: thirty five for almost six months. We've known each other 292 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:08,280 Speaker 5: for about a year and a half. I'm a teacher 293 00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:11,480 Speaker 5: and make around fifty k a year and he's a lawyer. 294 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:15,120 Speaker 5: And while his yearly earnings vary based on which clients 295 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,760 Speaker 5: and companies he works with, it's always somewhere in the 296 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:21,200 Speaker 5: six figures. By the way, this comes from Peach Teach 297 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:23,320 Speaker 5: seven seven seven and if you want to submit your 298 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,640 Speaker 5: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime suppered it. 299 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:30,120 Speaker 5: So recently, we attended a family get together at my parents' house. 300 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:33,280 Speaker 5: My parents, a male and female sixties and older brother 301 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:36,360 Speaker 5: male thirty five, had already met him before this, but 302 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:39,320 Speaker 5: also invited some of our extended family and my sister 303 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:43,240 Speaker 5: in law's family as well. Everything was going fine until 304 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:47,600 Speaker 5: my sister, female thirty two, walked in. We're low contact, 305 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:50,200 Speaker 5: we'd be no contact if my parents didn't want to 306 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:52,760 Speaker 5: have a relationship with her, and nobody told me she 307 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:53,600 Speaker 5: had been invited. 308 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,360 Speaker 3: Not cool. When I asked my mom what was up, 309 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,880 Speaker 3: she said she invited her because she needed some inc 310 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,200 Speaker 3: meant for what? I encourage her to stay away? Yeah? 311 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:06,040 Speaker 5: I was absolutely fuming, but decided to see how the 312 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:08,760 Speaker 5: night went and leave if my sister decided to stir 313 00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:11,800 Speaker 5: anything up. Thankfully, my sister seemed fine and I didn't 314 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:14,560 Speaker 5: see her much. My boyfriend left early since he was tired, 315 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:16,680 Speaker 5: and I thought that was that boy. 316 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:17,520 Speaker 3: Was I wrong? 317 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:20,080 Speaker 5: A week passed with no messages from him, which is 318 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:23,080 Speaker 5: really weird. We text each other every day, just chatting 319 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:25,520 Speaker 5: about our days or making plans for dates. Then all 320 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,280 Speaker 5: of a sudden, he texts me to meet up at 321 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:30,680 Speaker 5: a park and that he wanted to talk about something important. 322 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,000 Speaker 5: I had no idea. 323 00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:36,240 Speaker 3: What was up. I'm smelling a breakup. 324 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:40,480 Speaker 5: Oh, I'm smelling that sister told him something at the party. 325 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:42,760 Speaker 2: Oh oh, oh, well, I think I read ahead, and 326 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:44,680 Speaker 2: then I jumped, yeah, your. 327 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:47,600 Speaker 3: Sense of smell is two good. We met. 328 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,160 Speaker 5: He doesn't hug me, also out of the ordinary, and 329 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,280 Speaker 5: I asked him what's wrong? First thing out of his mouth? 330 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:55,080 Speaker 5: Are you dating me just because I'm rich? 331 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,080 Speaker 3: What the heck? Uh? No, I'm not. 332 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,400 Speaker 5: And I tell him that. He just asks me again. 333 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:02,720 Speaker 5: I ask him where he's getting this from. It's so 334 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:05,400 Speaker 5: out of left field. Then he asked me if I've 335 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:08,240 Speaker 5: ever shared, all my problems would be solved if I've 336 00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:12,520 Speaker 5: married rich. I'm a girl, lie I definitely have joked 337 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:17,880 Speaker 5: about that, haven't we all? We all joked about how 338 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,960 Speaker 5: all our problems wouldn't go away if we married rich. 339 00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:24,960 Speaker 2: Well, because that's it's true. It's true my problems would 340 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:25,600 Speaker 2: be solved. 341 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:28,840 Speaker 3: If I won the lottery. That's also true. Probably not 342 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:29,560 Speaker 3: gonna happen. 343 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, your problems will be solving. Then you'll have 344 00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:34,480 Speaker 1: different problems. 345 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:36,840 Speaker 3: Exactly, But my first level of problems will be solved. Right, 346 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:38,360 Speaker 3: my money problems will be solved. 347 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:40,680 Speaker 5: But in the same way you say, maybe I should 348 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:42,760 Speaker 5: quit my job and move to Iceland and herd sheep 349 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:43,760 Speaker 5: for the rest of my life. 350 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,720 Speaker 3: I get to girl, you don't have to explain yourself. 351 00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:48,120 Speaker 5: Yeah, anyways, I tell him that and ask him again, 352 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:50,600 Speaker 5: where the heck is this coming from? He said, My 353 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:54,360 Speaker 5: sister told him. Apparently, she introduced herself and they chatted 354 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:56,280 Speaker 5: for a bit. When he told her he was a lawyer, 355 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:59,480 Speaker 5: she said, that makes total sense, because oh he always 356 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:03,040 Speaker 5: wanted to looks like she's living the dream, y'all. I 357 00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:07,040 Speaker 5: could have screamed. I can't even describe the emotions I 358 00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:07,520 Speaker 5: was feeling. 359 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:08,320 Speaker 3: My sister. 360 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:12,120 Speaker 5: The absolute audacity to take a joke, I said when 361 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:15,080 Speaker 5: I was a depressed teenager with health issues, out of 362 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:20,439 Speaker 5: context and misrepresent me to my boyfriend. Literally insane. I 363 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:23,080 Speaker 5: was shaking. I told my boyfriend that what she said 364 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:26,359 Speaker 5: was entirely out of context and he can't trust her. 365 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:28,960 Speaker 5: But now it just sounds like you're you know, it 366 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:30,879 Speaker 5: sounds like he's like, I've already heard the truth and 367 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:32,680 Speaker 5: now you're just trying to discredit her. 368 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:35,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's like, well, but it's like, no, she 369 00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:36,000 Speaker 3: should be discredited. 370 00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:38,159 Speaker 5: Yeah, but also like, have you not talked to your 371 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:41,600 Speaker 5: boyfriend about your relationship with your sister? I don't know, 372 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:44,160 Speaker 5: because I feel like if you have that poor relationship, 373 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:45,680 Speaker 5: you would have come up and then you could have 374 00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:47,320 Speaker 5: been like, well, you know, my sister, she's always saying 375 00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:48,920 Speaker 5: stuff like this, right, That's why I don't have a 376 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:50,120 Speaker 5: relationship with her, right. 377 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:51,800 Speaker 3: And I mean hopefully too. 378 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:53,760 Speaker 2: The fact that she was like a teenager when she 379 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,920 Speaker 2: said this, and yeah, she's like in her late twenties, 380 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,520 Speaker 2: I think, like hopefully that explains it too. 381 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:01,200 Speaker 5: He just kept pressing and asking why would she say 382 00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:03,480 Speaker 5: something like that so casually if it wasn't the truth. 383 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:05,960 Speaker 5: I told him, because she's a self absorbed person who's 384 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:08,600 Speaker 5: spent years treating me like the old one two in 385 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:12,080 Speaker 5: bag and never taking accountability. He just couldn't get it, 386 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:14,320 Speaker 5: so I left. I told him that he was going 387 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:16,639 Speaker 5: to take the word of one person who he just 388 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:19,080 Speaker 5: met over the word of all my friends and family 389 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:21,320 Speaker 5: who will vouch for me that I'm not that kind 390 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:23,760 Speaker 5: of person over all of the months he's spent getting 391 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:26,320 Speaker 5: to know me as a person. Then this wasn't gonna work. 392 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,560 Speaker 5: The tears were already starting to come down, but I 393 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:30,880 Speaker 5: managed to hold it together all right until I got 394 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:32,280 Speaker 5: to my car and just sobbed. 395 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:35,080 Speaker 3: I feel broken. I'm in love with my boyfriend. 396 00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:38,080 Speaker 5: He's the first person I've ever felt comfortable being myself with. 397 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:41,960 Speaker 5: He truly is such an intelligent, mature person. The way 398 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,920 Speaker 5: he communicates in our relationship has been truly healing, coming 399 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,199 Speaker 5: from the family dynamics I grew up with. But the 400 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:50,080 Speaker 5: biggest fear I've had with dating is that someone wouldn't 401 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:53,399 Speaker 5: trust me. That the person I love and trust the 402 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,280 Speaker 5: most would question me on who I am when I've 403 00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:59,080 Speaker 5: already shown them, which is why this whole situation is 404 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:00,520 Speaker 5: so confusing and painful. 405 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:01,359 Speaker 3: I don't get it. 406 00:19:01,359 --> 00:19:03,440 Speaker 5: It's been a few days, and I don't know where 407 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:05,960 Speaker 5: we go from here. I haven't texted him because I 408 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:09,520 Speaker 5: need space, and he hasn't texted me either. Am I overreacting? 409 00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:11,679 Speaker 5: I feel like he should have known better than to 410 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:15,040 Speaker 5: just essentially take a stranger's word over mine. Where do 411 00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:19,120 Speaker 5: we go from here? Am I overreacting? And there is 412 00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:22,080 Speaker 5: an edit? I'll read that really quick. The commenter who 413 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:24,879 Speaker 5: talked about relationships being a two way street really stuck 414 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:27,080 Speaker 5: in my head. I don't think I've handled this properly. 415 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:30,480 Speaker 5: That and the commentary talking about me essentially being the dumper, 416 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,560 Speaker 5: and that if I don't want this relationship to end, 417 00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:34,200 Speaker 5: I'm the one who needs to. 418 00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,080 Speaker 3: Make that clear. All in all, I don't think I 419 00:19:36,119 --> 00:19:37,400 Speaker 3: handled this situation. Well. 420 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:39,359 Speaker 5: I'm gonna text my boyfriend and see if we can 421 00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:42,200 Speaker 5: actually just hash everything out. I'm not sure where things 422 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:43,919 Speaker 5: are gonna end up, but I know that neither of 423 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,120 Speaker 5: us can make a decision about anything if we don't 424 00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:46,840 Speaker 5: talk about it. 425 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:47,840 Speaker 3: We'll see how it goes. 426 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,480 Speaker 5: There are some comments and an update. Folks, I think 427 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:53,760 Speaker 5: they're both acting very rashally here. Yeah, it seems like 428 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,879 Speaker 5: he comes and he says, your sister said that you 429 00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:58,320 Speaker 5: marry me because I'm rich. 430 00:19:58,480 --> 00:19:59,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, and she. 431 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:02,040 Speaker 5: Said no, and he's your sister said that, yeah, you're 432 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:02,960 Speaker 5: marry blah blah blah blah. 433 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:05,520 Speaker 3: And then she's like, fine, if you you can't even 434 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:07,760 Speaker 3: believe who I am, then we're done. And she's like, 435 00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:09,399 Speaker 3: oh so she did. Oh dang. 436 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:11,200 Speaker 5: I think that he is very much in the wrong, 437 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:14,480 Speaker 5: and I understand why she was very hurt by that, 438 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,040 Speaker 5: But I do understand the comment saying like, hey, let's 439 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:21,320 Speaker 5: actually have a mature conversation that's not being fueled by 440 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:24,919 Speaker 5: like big emotions and stuff and like wait, like say, 441 00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:27,880 Speaker 5: let's calm down, let's have a mature conversation. If he's 442 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:29,000 Speaker 5: still accusing. 443 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:32,440 Speaker 2: You, yeah, yeah, because it really does feel very dramatic, 444 00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:35,080 Speaker 2: like that whole conversation of him being like, did you 445 00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:37,439 Speaker 2: say you wanted to marry me because I'm rich? And 446 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,280 Speaker 2: then she's like why would you say that? And she's like, 447 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:41,800 Speaker 2: did you say you want to marry me because I'm rich? 448 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:45,600 Speaker 2: It's like that feels like it's poor. Yeah, it feels 449 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:49,040 Speaker 2: like it's pouring rain. And he's asking like if she 450 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:50,760 Speaker 2: she did this whole con. 451 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,320 Speaker 3: Against his family or something like that, Yeah, that's what 452 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:55,600 Speaker 3: it sounds like, with the level of it, did she 453 00:20:55,720 --> 00:21:00,159 Speaker 3: marry me just because I'm the crown prince right? No, 454 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:01,320 Speaker 3: I would never do that. 455 00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:05,440 Speaker 5: Yeah, your sista said that you did prot rain sh 456 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:07,720 Speaker 5: sh Yeah, yeah exactly. 457 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:11,240 Speaker 3: I just can't even believe you. I don't even know you. Yeah, 458 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:12,480 Speaker 3: it's so dramatic. 459 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:15,280 Speaker 5: Yeah, there are some comments. Vivid Ad says, has to 460 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:17,840 Speaker 5: be way more to this. If you're paying for all 461 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:20,080 Speaker 5: your own stuff, there's zero reason to believe you're with 462 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:22,359 Speaker 5: him for money. Is he paying your bills? Do you 463 00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:25,119 Speaker 5: ask him for money? Does he spend a lot of 464 00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:27,880 Speaker 5: money on you? That kind of comment of marrying rich 465 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:31,119 Speaker 5: would make a man making good money feel uncomfortable. But 466 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:33,840 Speaker 5: if there's no reason to believe that, then it shouldn't 467 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:36,080 Speaker 5: be an issue. Opie says, he doesn't pay my bills, 468 00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:38,240 Speaker 5: and I definitely don't ask him for money. I was 469 00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:40,320 Speaker 5: raised with a we don't have money for stuff like 470 00:21:40,359 --> 00:21:43,560 Speaker 5: that dad, so I find asking for money hard, even 471 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,960 Speaker 5: if I'm owed it. He definitely is generous with how 472 00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:48,000 Speaker 5: he spends money on me. On our first date, he 473 00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:50,159 Speaker 5: showed up with flowers and I was stunned because no 474 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:51,680 Speaker 5: one ever did that for me before. 475 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:52,439 Speaker 3: That's normal. 476 00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,600 Speaker 5: He should be doing that. That's not like going above 477 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:57,280 Speaker 5: and beyond. Yeah, exactly after I told him. 478 00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:01,520 Speaker 3: He's brought flowers for every single day consisting stop. I 479 00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:01,919 Speaker 3: love that. 480 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,560 Speaker 5: When I told him I was gonna wait a few 481 00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:05,399 Speaker 5: months to take my car into the shop because then 482 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:07,480 Speaker 5: I'd have a bit more money saved, it was making 483 00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:10,480 Speaker 5: a weird squeaking noise. He literally drove me and the 484 00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:12,399 Speaker 5: car to the shop that day and told me not 485 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:15,280 Speaker 5: to worry about it. My safety was more important. And 486 00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:19,320 Speaker 5: there is an update three days later. Wow, I honestly think, yeah, 487 00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:20,840 Speaker 5: I have that conversation. 488 00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,119 Speaker 3: Yeah, because I'm sure conversation, like it seems like everything 489 00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:23,640 Speaker 3: else is good. 490 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, And in so many of these stories that we read, 491 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,560 Speaker 2: it's like they find something out and then that person 492 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:30,960 Speaker 2: who finds out this misinformation is like, we're over, we're 493 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,399 Speaker 2: talking about this without having a conversation, and she was like, 494 00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:35,320 Speaker 2: oh my gosh, I can't believe you would think this 495 00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:37,320 Speaker 2: without having a conversation, And it's like, well, I mean 496 00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:39,960 Speaker 2: he's kind of there to have that conversation, yeah, even 497 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:43,520 Speaker 2: though he wasn't really believing her super fast, like that's 498 00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:44,159 Speaker 2: what he's there for. 499 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, but there is an update, folks. All right, so 500 00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:47,439 Speaker 3: let's do it. 501 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:49,440 Speaker 5: Hi, all, I just want to make an update since 502 00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,840 Speaker 5: a lot has happened over the weekend. Some comments helped 503 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:54,960 Speaker 5: me realize that simply walking away from the conversation was 504 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:57,280 Speaker 5: not the right thing to do. Yeah, but again, both 505 00:22:57,320 --> 00:23:00,760 Speaker 5: of you had very high emotions and and I think 506 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:04,359 Speaker 5: waiting until you are both cooled down. 507 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:05,439 Speaker 3: Is probably very smart. 508 00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:08,040 Speaker 5: I decided to text my boyfriend on Friday and sent 509 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:11,600 Speaker 5: him this message, Hey, boyfriend, I want to apologize for 510 00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:14,040 Speaker 5: leaving things the way I did. I was really upset 511 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:16,399 Speaker 5: and hurt, so I left before my emotions got worse, 512 00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:19,639 Speaker 5: which obviously didn't help the situation. Can we meet up 513 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:21,560 Speaker 5: this weekend and talk. I want to see if we 514 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:24,159 Speaker 5: can get on the same page and evaluate our relationship. 515 00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:26,520 Speaker 5: He texted me back almost immediately and agreed to meet 516 00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:28,840 Speaker 5: up at my place yesterday. He obviously also wants to 517 00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:32,399 Speaker 5: get back. Yeah, you guys both want this relationship, and 518 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:34,440 Speaker 5: you let your sister get in the. 519 00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:34,840 Speaker 3: Middle of you. 520 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:39,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just a gaggle of silly geese over shilly geeses. 521 00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:41,679 Speaker 3: I was pretty nervous. I'm not gonna lie. 522 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:44,080 Speaker 5: Some people thought that I should just break up with them, 523 00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:46,480 Speaker 5: and others thought that maybe there was something deeper going 524 00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,159 Speaker 5: on that he wasn't telling me Either way, I wanted 525 00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,280 Speaker 5: to get all the facts smart. 526 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:53,080 Speaker 3: When I opened the door. 527 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:55,560 Speaker 5: He was hauling a bouquet of flowers, and I had 528 00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:58,480 Speaker 5: a look on his face I've never seen before. Oh. 529 00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,399 Speaker 5: It was a mixture of sun and concern, which was 530 00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:03,879 Speaker 5: kind of overwhelming because he's not really the type to 531 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,879 Speaker 5: be so expressive or emotional. He gave me the flowers 532 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:09,240 Speaker 5: and we sat down, and the first words out of 533 00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:11,320 Speaker 5: his mouth were I'm so sorry. Ope, I know I 534 00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:11,880 Speaker 5: fed up. 535 00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:15,560 Speaker 3: See, guys, sometimes you have a real conversation with people 536 00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:18,960 Speaker 3: that you love, yeah, and it works out. You can 537 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:23,119 Speaker 3: solve your problems. Was sold problems. Who would have thunk. 538 00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:26,000 Speaker 5: That apology just really calmed me down because I was 539 00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:28,119 Speaker 5: so afraid this was going to be a back and 540 00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:30,840 Speaker 5: forth of us trying to defend ourselves for what happened. 541 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:32,760 Speaker 5: He said he was just about to text me to 542 00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:35,560 Speaker 5: meet up and talk. When I texted him, I thanked 543 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:38,760 Speaker 5: him for the apology and apologized for my reaction to 544 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,240 Speaker 5: and asked him, how did. 545 00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:40,640 Speaker 3: We get here? 546 00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:42,919 Speaker 5: Can you just explain everything from the beginning, so I 547 00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:46,480 Speaker 5: can understand. I wasn't prepared for what he told me. 548 00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:48,760 Speaker 3: Oh my goshut the thumb. What do you think he 549 00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:50,919 Speaker 3: really excited for this? I don't know. 550 00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,960 Speaker 2: I think maybe the sister said more things or something. 551 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:56,439 Speaker 2: I wasn't expecting to have another like twist in this, 552 00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:57,000 Speaker 2: and I'm. 553 00:24:56,880 --> 00:25:00,399 Speaker 3: Really very happy. I think the sister said more. I 554 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:00,720 Speaker 3: think so. 555 00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:03,679 Speaker 5: For some context, my boyfriend was not the person he 556 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:04,240 Speaker 5: used to be. 557 00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:04,720 Speaker 3: Oh. 558 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:08,240 Speaker 5: He used to be a serial womanizer, work aolic type 559 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,760 Speaker 5: of guy. I was aware of all this before we 560 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:11,480 Speaker 5: started dating. 561 00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:11,840 Speaker 3: Dude. 562 00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:15,560 Speaker 5: This is the plot of a movie where like the 563 00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:19,680 Speaker 5: prince who's always out on the town, woman eyes and people, yeah, 564 00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:23,240 Speaker 5: you know, meets this kindergarten teacher at a bookstore or whatever. 565 00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:24,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, and they slowly. 566 00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:27,560 Speaker 5: Fall in love, right, and then he finds out that like, 567 00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:29,080 Speaker 5: she wants to be with him for money. 568 00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:33,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, and he's everything's over. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah. They 569 00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:34,919 Speaker 3: have a fight in the rain, in the middle of 570 00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:38,680 Speaker 3: the cobblestone streets. In the accent yeah, and they have 571 00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:42,840 Speaker 3: a British accent. They've got British accent. His dad, the King, 572 00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:45,960 Speaker 3: who was also a lawyer, was his idol. He wanted 573 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:49,560 Speaker 3: to be just like him. Dude, this is exactly what's happened, exactly. 574 00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:51,879 Speaker 5: However, his dad had been married to his mom for 575 00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:54,200 Speaker 5: many years, so that was where my boyfriend drew aligne. 576 00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:57,000 Speaker 5: He was fine hooking up with women while he was single, 577 00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:58,919 Speaker 5: but as soon as he got married that would be 578 00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:01,400 Speaker 5: the end and he would be a faithful partner. 579 00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:02,720 Speaker 3: Like his dad, I would hope. 580 00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:07,879 Speaker 5: So yeah, right, kind of that's not like that, that's yeah. 581 00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:08,840 Speaker 3: Yeah. 582 00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:12,359 Speaker 5: Unfortunately for him, things kind of all came crashing down 583 00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:14,360 Speaker 5: when he found out his mom had. 584 00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,560 Speaker 3: Been cheating on his dad for years now. 585 00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:20,400 Speaker 5: When my boyfriend told his dad about it, and she's 586 00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:22,520 Speaker 5: probably cheating with like the prime minister. 587 00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:26,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's some other duke from the other other province. 588 00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:28,399 Speaker 3: His dad told him to keep it to himself because 589 00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:34,040 Speaker 3: his dad had also been cheating for years. No, oh, 590 00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:38,119 Speaker 3: my gosh, I wasn't expecting. Oh this is a movie. 591 00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:42,760 Speaker 3: Oh dude, you have a movie script right here. Just 592 00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:44,399 Speaker 3: make everyone British. 593 00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:46,840 Speaker 5: Yeah, make everyone British, and also make your partner the 594 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:47,959 Speaker 5: Prince of England. 595 00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:48,360 Speaker 4: Yah. 596 00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:54,040 Speaker 2: Pitch it to a Hallmark or yeah, like my fair prince. 597 00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:55,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a great name for it. 598 00:26:56,119 --> 00:27:00,359 Speaker 2: My you with the prince? Yeah exactly. Oh my god, gosh, 599 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,400 Speaker 2: this is crazy. So is he now gonna be like, well, 600 00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:04,760 Speaker 2: I have to follow in my dad's whatsneps. Yeah, well 601 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:05,840 Speaker 2: I'm not to do it. 602 00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:08,359 Speaker 3: I guess I don't have to be faithful like my 603 00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:09,720 Speaker 3: dad because he wasn't. 604 00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:12,360 Speaker 5: I think they both knew about the other affair partners 605 00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:15,200 Speaker 5: and just decided they cared more about their image and reputation. 606 00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:18,239 Speaker 5: So they never got a divorce. Wow, because they're the king. 607 00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:21,080 Speaker 3: Because they can't get a divorce. Exactly. 608 00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:24,760 Speaker 5: My boyfriend was floored. The idealized image of his dad 609 00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:28,719 Speaker 5: was shattered, and he got really depressed. He started drinking 610 00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:30,680 Speaker 5: and going to bars more off to work, and that's 611 00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:33,639 Speaker 5: where he met our mutual friend, Matt. Matt was working 612 00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:34,720 Speaker 5: as a bartender and. 613 00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:37,199 Speaker 3: Got to know him a bit. I am seeing this 614 00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:39,560 Speaker 3: whole movie play out in my Yeah. No, I really 615 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:42,520 Speaker 3: am too. Ope, I like it. I like it. 616 00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:46,080 Speaker 5: Matt's a wonderful person, the type who really takes an 617 00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:48,840 Speaker 5: interest in everyone. Matt helped him get a better handle 618 00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:52,320 Speaker 5: on his life and they became friends. My boyfriend completely 619 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:55,879 Speaker 5: changed his lifestyle. He stopped over drinking, cut his hours 620 00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:57,960 Speaker 5: down from the eighty to ninety hour work weeks he 621 00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:01,200 Speaker 5: used to do, and stopped objectifying women just to sleep 622 00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:01,560 Speaker 5: with them. 623 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:04,959 Speaker 3: That's good, cool. Nice. 624 00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:07,679 Speaker 5: Matt later moved into my city for work, and I 625 00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:09,879 Speaker 5: was introduced to him because he started dating one of 626 00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:13,240 Speaker 5: my friends, Becta. My boyfriend and I actually met at 627 00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:17,239 Speaker 5: Matt and Becca's wedding. Anyways, my boyfriend moved out here 628 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:19,320 Speaker 5: a few years ago to get away from his parents 629 00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:23,080 Speaker 5: after his lifestyle changed to essentially restart his life for good. 630 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:25,080 Speaker 3: Dude, he gave up the crown. 631 00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:26,000 Speaker 1: Wow. 632 00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:30,359 Speaker 5: He moved to have a yeah, yeah, yeah, you could. 633 00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:33,920 Speaker 3: Have like a low key, like simple life, yeah, spotlight. 634 00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:35,520 Speaker 5: And he's like dry, I don't know. He's like walking 635 00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:37,080 Speaker 5: on the street one day and ohp he bumps into 636 00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:38,080 Speaker 5: him and he's like, do. 637 00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:40,600 Speaker 3: You know who I am? Yeah? And she's like, no, 638 00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:42,479 Speaker 3: who are you am? 639 00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:46,080 Speaker 5: I supposed to And he's like, wow, oh my gosh, 640 00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:48,360 Speaker 5: I've never met anyone who didn't know who I want. 641 00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:51,920 Speaker 2: She doesn't know me, she just she's the type to 642 00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:53,280 Speaker 2: bring a book to a concert. 643 00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:56,800 Speaker 5: She's reading a book at a concert. I've never seen 644 00:28:56,840 --> 00:29:00,800 Speaker 5: a girl like that before. I'm my god, he said, quirky, 645 00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:02,360 Speaker 5: and then they fall in love and. 646 00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:09,160 Speaker 3: Then the Hathaway. Yes. Well, so that brings us to 647 00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:09,920 Speaker 3: last week. 648 00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:12,880 Speaker 5: After I left the park, my boyfriend took what I 649 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:15,040 Speaker 5: said to heart, that the word of my family and 650 00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:17,280 Speaker 5: friends should be enough for him to trust me, and 651 00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:20,560 Speaker 5: went straight to Matt after to get his thoughts. My 652 00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:23,840 Speaker 5: boyfriend said Matt was really kind, letting him explain what 653 00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:27,520 Speaker 5: happened without interrupting, but then afterwards Matt really laid into him. 654 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:30,320 Speaker 5: Matt asked him, do you really think that he would 655 00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:33,680 Speaker 5: still be living in a crappy one bedroom apartment if 656 00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:37,480 Speaker 5: she was dating used just for money? Has she ever 657 00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:40,720 Speaker 5: given you any reason the question of before all of this. 658 00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:43,760 Speaker 5: My boyfriend admitted that I had never given him any 659 00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:46,680 Speaker 5: reason to question my motives. Yeah, that he knows I'm 660 00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:50,400 Speaker 5: generous and not materialistic, But my sister's words got into 661 00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:53,080 Speaker 5: his head. He said, it was like listening to a child. 662 00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:55,080 Speaker 5: They have no reason to light to you, so I 663 00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:58,120 Speaker 5: believed it immediately. I actually don't blame him for that part. 664 00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:00,840 Speaker 5: Every single person who has met my sister describes her 665 00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:03,800 Speaker 5: as innocent and bubbly and as a very difficult time 666 00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:06,400 Speaker 5: seeing her as anything but that. Even my parents still 667 00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:08,840 Speaker 5: view her like this despite them knowing how many people 668 00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:11,920 Speaker 5: she's cheated on yikes, well, how much of their money 669 00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:14,560 Speaker 5: she's wasted and never given back, and how many times 670 00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:17,920 Speaker 5: she's joked about unliving them or myself. 671 00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:20,560 Speaker 2: Okay, so that's a when we're looking at a list 672 00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:24,000 Speaker 2: of characteristics, it's a wild one to throw in there. 673 00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:26,360 Speaker 5: I didn't know this next part, but my boyfriend opened 674 00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:28,040 Speaker 5: up to Matt when they were first getting to know 675 00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:31,160 Speaker 5: each other about how many women used him for his money. 676 00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:34,600 Speaker 5: People only saw me as Crown Prince Peter. I was 677 00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:37,400 Speaker 5: in anything back Crown Prince Peta. And then when I 678 00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:40,280 Speaker 5: met Opie, she just saw me as that guy right, 679 00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:44,720 Speaker 5: that man on the street that she knocked over, And 680 00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:47,400 Speaker 5: I wanted to be that guy who just did laundry 681 00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:50,120 Speaker 5: at a laundry Matt and didn't have servants to do 682 00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:52,600 Speaker 5: it for him. I knew that his last relationship ended 683 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:55,160 Speaker 5: badly while he still lived out East, but apparently this 684 00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:59,000 Speaker 5: was the first major relationship after his lifestyle change, and. 685 00:30:58,960 --> 00:30:59,920 Speaker 3: He really loved her. 686 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,680 Speaker 5: He bought basically everything for her all the time, and 687 00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:05,200 Speaker 5: she still cheated on him all of that led him 688 00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:08,000 Speaker 5: to become really insecure about people's motives when it came 689 00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:10,600 Speaker 5: to dating. He explained that even some of the nicest 690 00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:13,720 Speaker 5: women just lit up and acted completely different when he 691 00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:15,920 Speaker 5: told them he was a lawyer, crown prince, and it 692 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,920 Speaker 5: completely unlived any desire he had to get to know 693 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:21,000 Speaker 5: them better. He told Matt, you didn't want to date 694 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,880 Speaker 5: anyone unless he knew someone who could vouch for them personally. 695 00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:26,640 Speaker 5: Matt was the one who encouraged him to ask me 696 00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:29,080 Speaker 5: out because he already noticed we liked each other and 697 00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,080 Speaker 5: told my boyfriend that I was a good person. I 698 00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:34,640 Speaker 5: know this girl, she comes in here time to time. 699 00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:37,840 Speaker 5: She's a real dime a real dime piece. 700 00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:41,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, you should ask her out. Ask her. I don't know, Matt. 701 00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:44,680 Speaker 3: I just could never find anyone who loves me for me. 702 00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:47,760 Speaker 3: Do you really think she could be the one? And 703 00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:50,880 Speaker 3: then she walks in the door, yeah, hair hair blowing. 704 00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:54,400 Speaker 3: It's like, oh right, I'll give right. 705 00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:00,719 Speaker 5: Back to their recent conversation, Matt's ad that if my 706 00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:03,800 Speaker 5: boyfriend needed more outside confirmation, he should listen to me 707 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:05,680 Speaker 5: and go talk to people in my life to get 708 00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:07,920 Speaker 5: a better perspective of what kind of person I am. 709 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:10,920 Speaker 5: He starts interviewing people. There's a whole montage of him 710 00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:13,760 Speaker 5: collecting notes about Ope, and everyone's like, Oh. 711 00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:16,960 Speaker 3: He's the nicest gallant girl could ask a friend for. 712 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:19,960 Speaker 2: I'm seeing he is getting introduced to her family and 713 00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:23,240 Speaker 2: you live in like a small, like crammed apartment, and he's. 714 00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:24,800 Speaker 3: Like, but they're really rounded by little kids. 715 00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:25,040 Speaker 5: Yeah. 716 00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:29,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, And he's at first like, yeah, it's disgusting, disgusting. 717 00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:31,880 Speaker 2: You haven't you don't have your maid come in and 718 00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:34,200 Speaker 2: all the kids are like sneezing into their arms, like, 719 00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:37,560 Speaker 2: and then they all gather around for it and it's andy. 720 00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:38,200 Speaker 3: Yeah. 721 00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:40,880 Speaker 2: Then they all huddled together on the couch and he 722 00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:43,040 Speaker 2: sees that they really just value each other. 723 00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:46,120 Speaker 3: And he's like, I really understand the magic of Christmas. 724 00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:49,360 Speaker 5: Now my boyfriend has actually spent the last week doing 725 00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:53,280 Speaker 5: exactly that. He even went to my parents were describing 726 00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:56,080 Speaker 5: that's what she means, and told them what happened. Apparently 727 00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:59,000 Speaker 5: my mom was horrified. She really likes my boyfriend, so 728 00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:01,320 Speaker 5: when she found out that inviting my sister I had 729 00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:04,640 Speaker 5: essentially caused a rift in our relationship, my mom got 730 00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:07,800 Speaker 5: really upset. Her whole aspiration has always been to see 731 00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:10,400 Speaker 5: all our children married, and since my sister has said 732 00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:13,960 Speaker 5: nothing but failed relationships and I've otherwise been chronically single, 733 00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:16,880 Speaker 5: knowing she did anything to mess up my relationship was 734 00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:19,360 Speaker 5: probably pretty upsetting to her. He said that she was 735 00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:22,080 Speaker 5: crying and very apologetic. He also asked her to give 736 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:24,640 Speaker 5: me space until he had had a chance to apologize 737 00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,360 Speaker 5: to me himself, which in hindsight makes a lot of 738 00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:30,160 Speaker 5: sense because my mom usually calls and texts me every 739 00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:33,280 Speaker 5: day and has been mia this whole week. All in all, 740 00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:35,880 Speaker 5: my boyfriend said that my friends and family had nothing 741 00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:37,880 Speaker 5: but good things to say about me, that I was 742 00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:41,600 Speaker 5: absolutely not a gold digger, and anyone who ever suggests 743 00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:44,320 Speaker 5: that is just plain wrong. I was crying pretty hard 744 00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:47,520 Speaker 5: by this point, hearing everything. My boyfriend kept apologizing and 745 00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:50,200 Speaker 5: saying he'd do anything to earn my trust back. But 746 00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:53,080 Speaker 5: he also said that if our relationship was going to work, 747 00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:57,440 Speaker 5: if my sister might pop up again unexpectedly, he needed 748 00:33:57,480 --> 00:33:59,960 Speaker 5: to know everything. He wanted to be prepared for exact 749 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,920 Speaker 5: exactly what kind of person she is, so this kind 750 00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:06,160 Speaker 5: of thing never happens again. So I told them not 751 00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:09,319 Speaker 5: absolutely everything, because there's so much to cover, but once 752 00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:11,960 Speaker 5: I started mentioning things, I just kept going, I'm not 753 00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:14,480 Speaker 5: going to get into the gritty details on Reddit because 754 00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:16,440 Speaker 5: my sister might see it, and also a lot of 755 00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:18,440 Speaker 5: it is really painful. But the long and short of 756 00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:21,480 Speaker 5: it is she has untreated mental illnesses that was very 757 00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:23,799 Speaker 5: obvious from a lot of the comments that she makes yep, 758 00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,080 Speaker 5: that she refuses to get help for the times we 759 00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:29,960 Speaker 5: have gotten her specific help therapy in patient medications. She 760 00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:33,920 Speaker 5: has been uncooperative or stop treatment against medical professionals advisement, 761 00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:36,439 Speaker 5: and she has a pattern of awful behavior and love 762 00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:39,640 Speaker 5: bombing in all of her relationships both familial and romantic, 763 00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:42,560 Speaker 5: that she never takes accountability for her This is why 764 00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:45,600 Speaker 5: I'm low contact with her. By now, you're probably wondering 765 00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:47,960 Speaker 5: if I'm in therapy. I haven't been for some time 766 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:51,240 Speaker 5: because I've been working contracts and didn't have insurance coverage 767 00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:53,960 Speaker 5: through work, but I will come September. Something my boyfriend 768 00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,360 Speaker 5: both agreed to in this conversation is for both of 769 00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:59,120 Speaker 5: us to get individual therapy, him to deal with his 770 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:03,000 Speaker 5: unresolved and se securities and trauma around his parents and 771 00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:05,720 Speaker 5: past relationship and me because my sister did a number 772 00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:07,600 Speaker 5: on me and I've never really opened up about it 773 00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:10,360 Speaker 5: in therapy. We're also going to set scheduled weekly times 774 00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:12,799 Speaker 5: where we're not necessarily going to go on dates, but 775 00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:16,480 Speaker 5: have uninterrupted time to talk openly, especially on any insights 776 00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:18,800 Speaker 5: we sat in therapy. By this point of the conversation, 777 00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:21,279 Speaker 5: things were getting a little less heavy, and I joked 778 00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:23,360 Speaker 5: about how we both have the same trauma reaction of 779 00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:26,320 Speaker 5: going silent when things get too intense. We both agreed 780 00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:28,720 Speaker 5: that we didn't handle this well, and in the future, 781 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:32,920 Speaker 5: any and all concerns we have will be communicated properly 782 00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:35,399 Speaker 5: and immediately. We're not going to run away from each other, 783 00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:37,680 Speaker 5: and if we don't understand something, we're going to ask 784 00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:40,239 Speaker 5: questions until we do. Since we talked for hours, we 785 00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:42,560 Speaker 5: ended up just making dinner at my place and talking 786 00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:45,040 Speaker 5: some more. I'm really hopeful for what comes next. 787 00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:45,600 Speaker 2: Anna. 788 00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:48,440 Speaker 3: There are some comments, but do you have any final thoughts. 789 00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:50,759 Speaker 3: I think this is great. I think everything about this 790 00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:51,120 Speaker 3: is great. 791 00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:51,439 Speaker 1: Yeah. 792 00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:53,719 Speaker 2: I now really want to watch a movie where there's 793 00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:55,359 Speaker 2: a print in the popp earth kind of thing. 794 00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:58,200 Speaker 5: I agree, but yeah, but the popper is op yeah. Yeah, 795 00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:00,359 Speaker 5: and these and they call love love Yeah, And there 796 00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:02,160 Speaker 5: I like it. They're not sisters. 797 00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:02,880 Speaker 3: Really funny. 798 00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,960 Speaker 5: Yeah, you guys, maybe work on your communication and stay 799 00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:07,799 Speaker 5: away from your sister, right, you got this? 800 00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:11,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, I believe in this relationship. I believe in you guys. 801 00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:12,000 Speaker 1: I believe in it. 802 00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:14,520 Speaker 5: Comments Nola says no one told the op that a 803 00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:16,000 Speaker 5: boyfriend came around asking about her. 804 00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:17,800 Speaker 3: Odd Opie says, after. 805 00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:19,719 Speaker 5: My boyfriend's convos with Matt and then my parents, he 806 00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:22,040 Speaker 5: basically said he had what he needed in his words, 807 00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:25,040 Speaker 5: to reassure himself of my intentions just around things out. 808 00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:26,960 Speaker 5: He casually reached out to a few more of my 809 00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:29,200 Speaker 5: friends and my brother with hey, just curious how you 810 00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:32,160 Speaker 5: would describe Ope as a person and what her values 811 00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:34,840 Speaker 5: are text Only one of my friends kind of questioned 812 00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:36,520 Speaker 5: him about it. He told her that he was in 813 00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:38,840 Speaker 5: his head a bit and needed some outside reminders to 814 00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:41,440 Speaker 5: reassure him of what he already knew. I'm not surprised 815 00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:43,560 Speaker 5: none of my friends said anything to me. We usually 816 00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:46,320 Speaker 5: update each other about stuff in person, so I imagine 817 00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:47,920 Speaker 5: when I meet up with them they'll bring it up. 818 00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:50,239 Speaker 1: Then Hey, it's Sam, your og host. Here. We're gonna 819 00:36:50,239 --> 00:36:50,960 Speaker 1: get back to the stories. 820 00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:53,400 Speaker 3: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. I 821 00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:55,760 Speaker 3: don't want to marry my boyfriend anymore. 822 00:36:56,400 --> 00:37:01,160 Speaker 2: Yeh oh, not that he male wanted to marry me 823 00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:02,480 Speaker 2: t when he ate female anyway. 824 00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:06,200 Speaker 3: He's stated in marriage is like a noose around the neck. Cool. 825 00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:08,360 Speaker 2: I was absolutely in love with this man. We have 826 00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:11,520 Speaker 2: such a beautiful child together. I wanted to marry him 827 00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:14,960 Speaker 2: because I wanted to show my absolute commitment commitment I 828 00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:17,600 Speaker 2: thought he reciprocated, but over time I just. 829 00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:19,160 Speaker 3: See that I was delusional. 830 00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:23,120 Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Taita and if you 831 00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:24,640 Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to the r 832 00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:27,839 Speaker 2: slash Okay storytime separate it. So, after our child was born, 833 00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:29,840 Speaker 2: I saw him following a lot of thirst trap girls 834 00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:31,880 Speaker 2: on TikTok. I told him how much it hurt me, 835 00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:33,880 Speaker 2: especially when my body doesn't look great anymore. 836 00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:36,880 Speaker 3: After pregnancy. My self esteem was at a low point, 837 00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:37,760 Speaker 3: mostly hormones. 838 00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:40,480 Speaker 2: But seeing that didn't help, I asked him to unfollow 839 00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:43,000 Speaker 2: them and not engage with that content. Every time I 840 00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:46,239 Speaker 2: build my confidence up and accept my new body, I 841 00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:49,719 Speaker 2: would see him following more girls. I would remind him, 842 00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:52,279 Speaker 2: he would unfollow and I had to start building up 843 00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:54,840 Speaker 2: my confidence again. For a while it seemed good until 844 00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:57,520 Speaker 2: he had to use my phone for work since his broke. 845 00:37:57,640 --> 00:37:59,600 Speaker 2: I offered him my phone since he drives for work 846 00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:00,840 Speaker 2: and I want to him to have a way to 847 00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:04,399 Speaker 2: communicate in an emergency. Months later, I logged back into 848 00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:07,080 Speaker 2: my private TikTok the likes and follows. 849 00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:09,239 Speaker 3: It was hundreds of girls. 850 00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:12,400 Speaker 2: He was logged into my private account on his phone, 851 00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:14,920 Speaker 2: knowing I was checking in on his account from my end. 852 00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:18,279 Speaker 2: I confronted him, told him with the lengths that you 853 00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:21,280 Speaker 2: went to try and hide this, him doing it over 854 00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:24,600 Speaker 2: and over knowing it hurt me. I consider it cheating 855 00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:28,400 Speaker 2: and I won't tolerate it again. He agreed, promised not 856 00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:30,080 Speaker 2: to do it again, and we moved on. 857 00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:31,799 Speaker 3: Things were looking up for a bit. 858 00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:34,160 Speaker 2: I'm losing a lot of the baby weight. I had 859 00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:36,880 Speaker 2: time to work on my appearance again. Things were feeling 860 00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:39,120 Speaker 2: a bit more normal again. Reader, I'm sure at this 861 00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:40,319 Speaker 2: point you're screaming on me. 862 00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:43,040 Speaker 3: Run it's gonna happen again. Yeah. 863 00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:45,840 Speaker 2: I was almost there, and you would be right. I 864 00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:48,600 Speaker 2: found his Twitter and my recommended. He told me he 865 00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:51,440 Speaker 2: didn't have Twitter. When I asked, he was following and 866 00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:55,839 Speaker 2: liking again. But I now saw him commenting I had it. 867 00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:59,000 Speaker 3: I told him, and he just said, I don't get it. 868 00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:00,040 Speaker 3: I just see it. 869 00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:03,799 Speaker 2: And after back and forth, I told him I don't 870 00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:05,160 Speaker 2: want to be with him anymore. 871 00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:07,880 Speaker 3: Maybe you could like have. 872 00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:11,200 Speaker 2: That kind of conversation when you first is brought up like, oh, well, 873 00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:13,000 Speaker 2: this is how I see it. I don't see it 874 00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:16,279 Speaker 2: as like I want these girls in a relationship. She 875 00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:20,120 Speaker 2: was like Gord, which different couples of different feelings about 876 00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:23,399 Speaker 2: but like after all this time, Ope, he's explaining how 877 00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:24,240 Speaker 2: it makes her feels. 878 00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:26,200 Speaker 3: And then he's just like, I don't get the problems. 879 00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:30,320 Speaker 3: Like come on, man, man, I see where you're coming from. 880 00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:33,960 Speaker 3: Kid together, Yeah, I know right. 881 00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:35,439 Speaker 2: It's like I know you've told me so many times, 882 00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:37,720 Speaker 2: but like, why is this a problem? 883 00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:39,080 Speaker 3: Like that's crazy. 884 00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:41,759 Speaker 2: The only reason why I'm staying is that I will 885 00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:44,439 Speaker 2: be danged if I don't get to see my son 886 00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:46,600 Speaker 2: every day and he doesn't get to see his father 887 00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:49,280 Speaker 2: every day. Now we are back in the growth phase, 888 00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:52,239 Speaker 2: but dang, it's been weighing on me every day. I 889 00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:54,440 Speaker 2: have moments where I feel happy and confident, but I 890 00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:57,120 Speaker 2: just remember these women and how I look nothing like them. 891 00:39:57,239 --> 00:40:00,640 Speaker 2: In moments where I look at him lovingly, happy with 892 00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:03,759 Speaker 2: our growth, It's tainted thinking what new way is he 893 00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:06,320 Speaker 2: hiding his regular use to these women. 894 00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:09,840 Speaker 3: Him calling me pretty or beautiful feels like a lie. 895 00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:12,080 Speaker 2: There are moments where we are playing with our son 896 00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:14,759 Speaker 2: and I'm wondering if it'll be the last time we 897 00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:17,600 Speaker 2: do that. Seeing my boyfriend on his phone fixated to 898 00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:20,239 Speaker 2: the point where he can't even hear me talking to him, 899 00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:24,640 Speaker 2: wondering if his attention is on another woman. Yeah, honestly, Oh, 900 00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:27,640 Speaker 2: this is so sad because it's all the like highs 901 00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:30,000 Speaker 2: and lows, and it's like, just because it can get 902 00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:33,879 Speaker 2: better a little bit doesn't mean that like it's worth continuing. 903 00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:36,640 Speaker 2: I'm grieving the me that didn't know any of this. 904 00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:39,279 Speaker 2: I wish I was still oblivious. I wish I could 905 00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:41,680 Speaker 2: just forget all of it, still blissfully in love with 906 00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:43,920 Speaker 2: him and our little family. I wish I no longer 907 00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:45,799 Speaker 2: agreed with him when he said marriage would be like 908 00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:47,560 Speaker 2: a noose around his neck. 909 00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:49,400 Speaker 3: And there are some comments. 910 00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:53,000 Speaker 2: One comment was downvoted and says your insecurity is not 911 00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:55,920 Speaker 2: his faults, although he still should not have lied to you. 912 00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:58,840 Speaker 2: I feel like you two did not communicate it correctly, 913 00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:01,400 Speaker 2: and just like him, I would see it as porn, 914 00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:04,240 Speaker 2: which shouldn't be a problem as long as he still 915 00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:05,400 Speaker 2: genuinely appreciates you. 916 00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:07,600 Speaker 3: I could see why that was done voted in a bit. 917 00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:11,000 Speaker 6: Yeah, I think it's coming from a place of like 918 00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:14,680 Speaker 6: I get what they're trying to say in terms of 919 00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:18,240 Speaker 6: the like, sure, there is a certain amount of insecurity 920 00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:21,160 Speaker 6: here that like other people can never control the amount 921 00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:22,400 Speaker 6: of insecurity. 922 00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:23,680 Speaker 3: You have about something, right, but. 923 00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:28,319 Speaker 6: Again, like there's a lot of other stuff going on 924 00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:31,319 Speaker 6: here as well. Of like if that insecurity has been 925 00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:34,640 Speaker 6: communicated and like things were agreed upon and then you 926 00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:36,200 Speaker 6: still went. 927 00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:38,560 Speaker 3: Back on that thing, it's like that's where. 928 00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:41,399 Speaker 2: It gets into like right, you know, right, because it's 929 00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:43,239 Speaker 2: always the kind of thing where it's like, you know, 930 00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:46,320 Speaker 2: at the end of the day, when it comes to insecurity, 931 00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:48,319 Speaker 2: it's like you are really the only one that can 932 00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:51,319 Speaker 2: actually build yourself up, Like you're the only one that 933 00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:53,720 Speaker 2: can I guess kind of do something about it. People 934 00:41:53,719 --> 00:41:56,680 Speaker 2: can definitely support you and contribute to that, but you 935 00:41:56,760 --> 00:41:59,960 Speaker 2: still sometimes would have to have your own like self love. 936 00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:05,000 Speaker 3: But in this situation specifically, the context is still Yeah. 937 00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:08,200 Speaker 2: Like she did communicate that insecurity exactily, and he seemingly 938 00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:09,399 Speaker 2: didn't do anything. 939 00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:13,280 Speaker 3: To reassure her that he does still like her. 940 00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:15,400 Speaker 6: Exactly And somebody says like duchess. 941 00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:17,840 Speaker 3: Cassanda says, I don't know. She's at a boundary that 942 00:42:17,840 --> 00:42:20,600 Speaker 3: he agreed to, and it's like, yeah, that's the thing, right, yeah, 943 00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:22,000 Speaker 3: And I'm seeing against it. 944 00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:25,200 Speaker 2: Bobie response to that, and I agree, my self esteem 945 00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:27,200 Speaker 2: is on me. But seeing him, the man I gave 946 00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:30,320 Speaker 2: my heart and soul to ruined my body for actively 947 00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:34,560 Speaker 2: seek out and hide his interactions with these women hurts 948 00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:37,839 Speaker 2: to see comments makes me wonder if he's messaging these 949 00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:40,560 Speaker 2: women or paying these women to see more, would he 950 00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:43,640 Speaker 2: f these women if given the chance to continue doing 951 00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:47,160 Speaker 2: so after I explicitly told him I consider it cheating 952 00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:51,279 Speaker 2: is not hurt done unintentionally. I'm guilty of wanting to 953 00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:53,759 Speaker 2: feel enough for him for letting that affect the way 954 00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:56,160 Speaker 2: I view my body. My self esteem is on me, 955 00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:58,719 Speaker 2: but my lack of trust in him is on him 956 00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:02,719 Speaker 2: and his actions. The same commenter says, I over read 957 00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:05,839 Speaker 2: the commenting part My bad, But what if? 958 00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:07,600 Speaker 3: What if? What if? Doesn't really help? 959 00:43:07,719 --> 00:43:10,440 Speaker 2: He is addicted to corn, Maybe he needs therapy to 960 00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:13,680 Speaker 2: get away from it. Girls posting themselves as their's traps 961 00:43:13,719 --> 00:43:16,680 Speaker 2: mostly don't even reply, nor would they ever interact with 962 00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:19,000 Speaker 2: the men physically. Have you tried asking him if he 963 00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:23,840 Speaker 2: does not feel fulfilled? Spicily related? Opy responds, it's okay, 964 00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:27,400 Speaker 2: and yeah, the what ifs are definitely hurting progress. 965 00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:28,400 Speaker 3: But I can't help that. 966 00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:31,080 Speaker 2: My mind is wondering just how deep this goes. And 967 00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:34,320 Speaker 2: while most don't comment back, the possibility. 968 00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:34,560 Speaker 3: Is always there. 969 00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:42,480 Speaker 7: Guys he okay, you know, no, fat I don't okay, no, FYP, No, 970 00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:46,480 Speaker 7: FYP is really clever, so Fie, well done, well done, darling, 971 00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:48,959 Speaker 7: you give up the good work like that. 972 00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:50,520 Speaker 3: I don't get it. 973 00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:53,160 Speaker 5: But no, just like when you don't do like you 974 00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:55,239 Speaker 5: don't watch corn or anything and you don't like. 975 00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:57,880 Speaker 2: Oh, it's like a like you know, almost like a 976 00:43:58,360 --> 00:43:59,600 Speaker 2: like dry January kind of. 977 00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:03,760 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, but for like the entire year for the gooners. 978 00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:07,120 Speaker 3: Does it stand for maybe we unless we maybe all 979 00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:09,600 Speaker 3: figured it out? Well anyway, I just had a clever idea. 980 00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:12,120 Speaker 3: But that's okay. Jobs, I'm proud of you. 981 00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:14,799 Speaker 2: We have discussed his needs at length, and while I'm 982 00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:17,160 Speaker 2: working on my end to make sure he's satisfied. It's 983 00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:19,600 Speaker 2: hard to maintain at times, part of which is because 984 00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:22,000 Speaker 2: I'm continuing to try to meet his needs when my trust. 985 00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:22,960 Speaker 3: In him has been abliterated. 986 00:44:23,080 --> 00:44:25,239 Speaker 2: But now this is responding to a longer comment about 987 00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:28,560 Speaker 2: corn addictions, Opie says, thank you. Seeing these comments about 988 00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:32,239 Speaker 2: corn and regular use changed my perspective for context. He's 989 00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:36,000 Speaker 2: an amazing dat started working super early mornings three am 990 00:44:36,080 --> 00:44:38,520 Speaker 2: to one pm so he can spend time with his kid. 991 00:44:38,600 --> 00:44:40,640 Speaker 2: He's helping me learn Spanish so we can teach our 992 00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:43,120 Speaker 2: son to be bilingual. He will help me out with 993 00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:46,600 Speaker 2: no questions asked. This is his first real relationship and 994 00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:49,000 Speaker 2: we ended up having our kid before our first anniversary. 995 00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:52,680 Speaker 2: Before anyone comments, we have been friends for over ten years, 996 00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:55,960 Speaker 2: so he's navigating a relationship for the first time in parenthood. 997 00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:56,920 Speaker 3: At the same time, and. 998 00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:59,880 Speaker 2: Since our last discussion on this, he has corrected behaviors 999 00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:02,919 Speaker 2: didn't even touch on. He started complimenting my body more, 1000 00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:07,400 Speaker 2: initiating more, giving me time to work on my self care, nails, skincare, 1001 00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:09,600 Speaker 2: hair care, et cetera, so I can start feeling like 1002 00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:10,239 Speaker 2: myself again. 1003 00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:13,080 Speaker 3: He started watching corn where the women look more like me. 1004 00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:18,239 Speaker 2: Deleted socials where there are thirst, straps, et cetera, all 1005 00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:20,919 Speaker 2: of which I didn't explicitly ask for. When I say 1006 00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:24,120 Speaker 2: absolute commitments, I'm here throughout the thick and thin. 1007 00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:25,839 Speaker 3: I absolutely believe. 1008 00:45:25,560 --> 00:45:28,720 Speaker 2: A relationship can recover from most anything if both are willing, 1009 00:45:29,040 --> 00:45:31,840 Speaker 2: and we are. We both see now that our relationship 1010 00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:33,719 Speaker 2: needs to be strong for our son, and we will 1011 00:45:33,719 --> 00:45:36,120 Speaker 2: do what it takes to make it. And there are 1012 00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:40,120 Speaker 2: some comments. Bitter pill Pusher too says, you love the 1013 00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:42,319 Speaker 2: man you want him to be, not the man he is. 1014 00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:43,919 Speaker 3: You know what you should do? 1015 00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:47,200 Speaker 6: The commenters are always so fascinating and a little bit 1016 00:45:47,280 --> 00:45:50,239 Speaker 6: funny on these. I love the person. I like to 1017 00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:53,600 Speaker 6: imagine that this person just scrounges Reddit and on every 1018 00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:55,960 Speaker 6: single post is like, you. 1019 00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:58,560 Speaker 3: Know what you need to do? Yeah, you know what 1020 00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:02,200 Speaker 3: you need to do? Yeah, vaguely cryptic. Right, it feels 1021 00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:04,839 Speaker 3: so ominous like you No. I actually that's why I'm here. 1022 00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:07,560 Speaker 3: You know what you need to do? Yeah? Sorry, I 1023 00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:11,240 Speaker 3: was actually asking a question to read it. Yeah, yeah. 1024 00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:14,880 Speaker 2: Plaine Rosemary says exactly, you can't marry a fantasy if 1025 00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:18,600 Speaker 2: you're unhappy and he violates your boundaries. Why stay the baby? Wait, 1026 00:46:18,719 --> 00:46:22,480 Speaker 2: is not the problem here in International Fee twenty two 1027 00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:25,760 Speaker 2: five to five. You could try a couple's therapy, but honestly, 1028 00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:28,279 Speaker 2: I don't think he's worth it. And as the mother 1029 00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:30,359 Speaker 2: of a nineteen year old who has had a lot 1030 00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:32,960 Speaker 2: of revelations about her dad, your kid will not benefit 1031 00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,520 Speaker 2: from parents who live together but aren't happy together. He 1032 00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:37,920 Speaker 2: cheated on you, you told him not to do it regularly, 1033 00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:40,719 Speaker 2: and he dismissed you each time. I don't think he 1034 00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:44,080 Speaker 2: will change, and there is an updates, but before we 1035 00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:46,600 Speaker 2: get into it. Yeah, honestly, I kind of feel that 1036 00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:49,520 Speaker 2: way because like in one of her comments, she was like, 1037 00:46:49,719 --> 00:46:52,719 Speaker 2: this is his first relationship, like you know, blah blah 1038 00:46:52,719 --> 00:46:53,400 Speaker 2: blah blah blah. 1039 00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:56,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, And I remember seeing things one time where. 1040 00:46:56,520 --> 00:46:59,200 Speaker 2: It's like, oh, like it was videos of people trauma 1041 00:46:59,239 --> 00:46:59,880 Speaker 2: dumping online. 1042 00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:01,719 Speaker 3: It was like, I'm going through this hard thing. 1043 00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:05,080 Speaker 2: But I keep reminding myself that, like it's their first 1044 00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:06,359 Speaker 2: time living too, you know. 1045 00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:08,759 Speaker 3: So it's like, of course they're gonna make mistakes and whatever, and. 1046 00:47:08,719 --> 00:47:11,200 Speaker 2: It's like, okay, but let's look at that in the 1047 00:47:11,200 --> 00:47:15,239 Speaker 2: opposite perspective. It's Op's first time living and she's not 1048 00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:16,440 Speaker 2: doing these things you. 1049 00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:16,879 Speaker 3: Know what I mean. 1050 00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:19,799 Speaker 2: So it's like, just because it's someone's first time, like 1051 00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:23,800 Speaker 2: going through a relationship or having certain I don't know, 1052 00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:27,080 Speaker 2: feelings or experiences, doesn't mean that you have to just 1053 00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:29,520 Speaker 2: put up with it and be okay with it because 1054 00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:32,319 Speaker 2: you're bringing it up and trying to fix it. And 1055 00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:34,719 Speaker 2: I mean, it seems like he's doing things now, but 1056 00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:37,319 Speaker 2: for a while he was being very dismissive of you. 1057 00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:39,480 Speaker 3: So everyone was right. 1058 00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:44,440 Speaker 2: Yeah. It would just continue to happen connantly, over and 1059 00:47:44,520 --> 00:47:47,200 Speaker 2: over until I reached a point where when I saw 1060 00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:50,359 Speaker 2: it again, I just felt numb. I started giving love 1061 00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:54,560 Speaker 2: to myself, focusing on exercising, diet, creating arts, spending time 1062 00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:57,360 Speaker 2: with my son. Eventually I decided I couldn't be with 1063 00:47:57,440 --> 00:48:00,680 Speaker 2: him anymore and I left. Get this, Our son is 1064 00:48:00,719 --> 00:48:03,640 Speaker 2: almost three, And when he was begging for me back, 1065 00:48:03,719 --> 00:48:06,560 Speaker 2: he said, I'm sorry, it's just hitting me that we 1066 00:48:06,680 --> 00:48:10,680 Speaker 2: have a son. OHPI says, effing what anyway, I have 1067 00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:12,880 Speaker 2: one hundred percent custody and I'm driving. 1068 00:48:13,080 --> 00:48:17,320 Speaker 3: This is awesome, And there are some more comments. Commenter says, yep, 1069 00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:18,560 Speaker 3: and the plus. 1070 00:48:18,239 --> 00:48:21,319 Speaker 2: Site is your son won't have his cheating irresponsible but 1071 00:48:21,480 --> 00:48:24,279 Speaker 2: as a primary role model nop He says, this was 1072 00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:26,560 Speaker 2: the big realization at the end of it all, he 1073 00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:30,200 Speaker 2: has a poor male role model, but by me saying 1074 00:48:30,360 --> 00:48:32,840 Speaker 2: I'm a bad role model as well. That love is 1075 00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:37,520 Speaker 2: tolerating disrespect and accepting less than the bare minimum. I 1076 00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:40,960 Speaker 2: love him enough to put my fears of solo parenting aside. Yeah, 1077 00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:43,560 Speaker 2: that's honestly a really big thing too. Like, if you 1078 00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:47,360 Speaker 2: don't like what someone's doing in a relationship, but you 1079 00:48:47,440 --> 00:48:49,160 Speaker 2: like don't know if you want to leave or stay, 1080 00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:51,480 Speaker 2: imagine teaching your kids that it's okay to do that, 1081 00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:53,279 Speaker 2: or that it's okay to be treated that way. 1082 00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:55,640 Speaker 3: You know, you just got the little kids scrolling on 1083 00:48:55,719 --> 00:48:59,160 Speaker 3: his feed too. Yeah. Literally, it takes a lot of courage, 1084 00:48:59,440 --> 00:49:01,879 Speaker 3: and she slight it up. Good job, Dune. 1085 00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:05,920 Speaker 2: Another commentary says, congratulations on your independence. Your ex sounds 1086 00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:08,520 Speaker 2: like a real piece of work, and it is obvious 1087 00:49:08,560 --> 00:49:11,520 Speaker 2: that you and your kiddo are thriving without him. Also, 1088 00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:14,560 Speaker 2: he's just now realizing you have a child together. Did 1089 00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:16,439 Speaker 2: he think you had a dog together for the last 1090 00:49:16,440 --> 00:49:19,560 Speaker 2: three years? Opie says, my job dropped when I heard 1091 00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:22,879 Speaker 2: him say this, Like what he later tried to say 1092 00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:26,480 Speaker 2: that our son is just now getting a personality and 1093 00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:29,480 Speaker 2: it was hard for him to feel fatherly instincts. Blah 1094 00:49:29,560 --> 00:49:32,920 Speaker 2: blah blah, But really all parents can see the personality 1095 00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:36,480 Speaker 2: from very early on. His problem is he decided to 1096 00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:39,279 Speaker 2: not connect the son until it seemed the relationship was 1097 00:49:39,320 --> 00:49:42,120 Speaker 2: going to end. And another commenter says, how'd you get 1098 00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:45,200 Speaker 2: the full custody? Opie says he gave it willingly. Well, 1099 00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:48,360 Speaker 2: I'm not surprised by that, honestly. Another commentarre says, I 1100 00:49:48,440 --> 00:49:50,560 Speaker 2: remember your post. I'm so glad you have found a 1101 00:49:50,560 --> 00:49:51,520 Speaker 2: way to honor. 1102 00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:52,480 Speaker 3: And value you. 1103 00:49:52,480 --> 00:49:55,799 Speaker 2: You deserve honest and compassionate love. I wish nothing but 1104 00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:58,640 Speaker 2: the best for you. In this new chapter, Opie responds, 1105 00:49:59,040 --> 00:50:01,279 Speaker 2: you don't know how how many times I went and 1106 00:50:01,320 --> 00:50:03,840 Speaker 2: read the comments of that post every time it happened again. 1107 00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:06,920 Speaker 2: Y'all really were there for me more than y'all could count. 1108 00:50:07,280 --> 00:50:08,520 Speaker 1: Hey's johnyo Og host. Here. 1109 00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:09,880 Speaker 4: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a 1110 00:50:09,920 --> 00:50:11,760 Speaker 4: quick three minute break of ass from our sponsors. 1111 00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:16,359 Speaker 2: My ex boyfriend got our coworker pregnant, so I congratulated them. 1112 00:50:16,440 --> 00:50:18,560 Speaker 2: I had a twenty eight Asian female found out that 1113 00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:21,120 Speaker 2: my boyfriend at thirty one, Hispanic mail of three years, 1114 00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:23,359 Speaker 2: cheated on me with one of our coworkers, and his 1115 00:50:23,440 --> 00:50:24,600 Speaker 2: sister had a part in it. 1116 00:50:24,760 --> 00:50:25,960 Speaker 3: What Last week? 1117 00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:28,359 Speaker 2: On Friday, I was at my work desk when my very, 1118 00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:32,080 Speaker 2: my very nosy lead came up to me, whispering and 1119 00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:33,120 Speaker 2: asking if I was okay. 1120 00:50:33,520 --> 00:50:35,680 Speaker 3: I was confused. She then pulled up. 1121 00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:37,200 Speaker 2: Her phone and asked if I had broken up with 1122 00:50:37,239 --> 00:50:40,239 Speaker 2: my now ex boyfriend because she screenshotted an Instagram post 1123 00:50:40,239 --> 00:50:41,880 Speaker 2: that was made over the weekend by one of my 1124 00:50:41,920 --> 00:50:45,160 Speaker 2: coworkers person he cheated on me with. By the way, 1125 00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:48,400 Speaker 2: this comes from Electronic bar eight four eighty four on 1126 00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:51,440 Speaker 2: the r slash comfort Level pod subreddit. If you want 1127 00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:53,200 Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash 1128 00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:55,560 Speaker 2: Okay story time supbredd it. So I do not have 1129 00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:57,520 Speaker 2: social media, so I told my nosy lead to show 1130 00:50:57,520 --> 00:50:59,600 Speaker 2: it to me, and there was a picture of my 1131 00:50:59,600 --> 00:51:02,480 Speaker 2: coworkers kissing my now ex boyfriend. 1132 00:51:02,120 --> 00:51:03,320 Speaker 3: For the world to see. 1133 00:51:03,840 --> 00:51:05,799 Speaker 2: On Saturday, I told them that we needed to talk, 1134 00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:08,359 Speaker 2: so I went over to his house. On my way there, 1135 00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:10,520 Speaker 2: the same nosy lead send me a screenshot of a 1136 00:51:10,520 --> 00:51:12,799 Speaker 2: post that was made by my coworker saying that she 1137 00:51:12,840 --> 00:51:14,120 Speaker 2: was about two months pregnant. 1138 00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:15,440 Speaker 3: I called and asked. 1139 00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:17,480 Speaker 2: Him to explain himself while I was nearing his house, 1140 00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:20,719 Speaker 2: and he just stayed quiet. He refused to come out 1141 00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:22,239 Speaker 2: or see me when I arrived at the house, so 1142 00:51:22,280 --> 00:51:24,719 Speaker 2: we basically talked through the phone for the time that 1143 00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:26,600 Speaker 2: I was there. After I sent him the pictures of 1144 00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:29,760 Speaker 2: the screenshot, not telling him who sent it, he finally 1145 00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:32,240 Speaker 2: said things happened and he got close to our coworker 1146 00:51:32,280 --> 00:51:34,840 Speaker 2: after his sister started inviting her to the house. 1147 00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:37,959 Speaker 3: Then confessed that he started dating her two months ago. 1148 00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:41,920 Speaker 2: The day before his mom's fiftieth birthday, which he invited 1149 00:51:41,960 --> 00:51:44,600 Speaker 2: her to but told his sister to tell me that 1150 00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:47,359 Speaker 2: she was the one that invited the coworker. He also 1151 00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:50,120 Speaker 2: told her to dress in gold, which is his favorite color, 1152 00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:52,480 Speaker 2: when the theme was hot pink, to which everyone was 1153 00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:54,840 Speaker 2: wearing but her. On the day of his mom's birthday, 1154 00:51:54,880 --> 00:51:57,360 Speaker 2: he spent the whole night drinking and talking and dancing 1155 00:51:57,400 --> 00:51:59,520 Speaker 2: with his sister and our coworker because they claimed that 1156 00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:01,759 Speaker 2: they didn't want her to feel left out. I was 1157 00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:05,040 Speaker 2: with the rest of his family. His cousin invited me 1158 00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:07,200 Speaker 2: to dance since my ex was dancing with our coworker 1159 00:52:07,239 --> 00:52:09,400 Speaker 2: when suddenly my ex pulled me to the side and 1160 00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:11,480 Speaker 2: was upset that I was dancing with his cousin. I 1161 00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:13,160 Speaker 2: told him that I should be the one that's upset 1162 00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:15,279 Speaker 2: with how he has been acting all night, but just 1163 00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:17,120 Speaker 2: didn't want to make a scene out of it out 1164 00:52:17,160 --> 00:52:18,239 Speaker 2: of respect to his mom. 1165 00:52:19,040 --> 00:52:20,719 Speaker 3: I ended up saying bye to his mom and said 1166 00:52:20,719 --> 00:52:22,400 Speaker 3: that I wasn't feeling too well, so I left. 1167 00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:25,399 Speaker 2: That was when the cheaters decided that they were going 1168 00:52:25,440 --> 00:52:28,439 Speaker 2: to go upstairs and make a baby on the night 1169 00:52:28,480 --> 00:52:32,440 Speaker 2: of his mom's fiftieth birthday while everyone was celebrating downstairs. 1170 00:52:32,719 --> 00:52:35,200 Speaker 3: Mind you, he told me all of this over the phone. 1171 00:52:35,400 --> 00:52:37,840 Speaker 2: After some time, his sister came down and said that 1172 00:52:37,880 --> 00:52:39,879 Speaker 2: he had asked me to go back home for the day. 1173 00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:42,160 Speaker 2: I yelled at her for helping her brother lie to 1174 00:52:42,200 --> 00:52:45,239 Speaker 2: me for the last two months. Her answer to me 1175 00:52:45,360 --> 00:52:47,000 Speaker 2: was that she didn't feel like I was good enough 1176 00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:50,160 Speaker 2: for her brother because I didn't speak Spanish. Yes, Spanish, 1177 00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:52,840 Speaker 2: and she liked my coworker because she was Hispanic, and 1178 00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:54,919 Speaker 2: wanted her to date my and wanted her to date 1179 00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:57,480 Speaker 2: her brother, who is now my ex boyfriend. 1180 00:52:57,640 --> 00:52:59,200 Speaker 3: So she set them up. 1181 00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:01,720 Speaker 2: After everything that I've done for them and her kids, 1182 00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:04,919 Speaker 2: helping her daughter get through speech therapy, watching her kids 1183 00:53:04,920 --> 00:53:07,200 Speaker 2: while she goes out a party, and helping their mom 1184 00:53:07,360 --> 00:53:10,719 Speaker 2: run errands. All of this wasn't good enough because I 1185 00:53:10,800 --> 00:53:13,520 Speaker 2: needed to speak Spanish too. His mom came out to 1186 00:53:13,560 --> 00:53:16,080 Speaker 2: ask what was going on. I told her I came 1187 00:53:16,120 --> 00:53:18,240 Speaker 2: to say goodbye, and that her son was a dog 1188 00:53:18,400 --> 00:53:21,799 Speaker 2: and a pos and he can do the explaining to her, 1189 00:53:21,920 --> 00:53:25,160 Speaker 2: but that I was done. She cried, telling me not 1190 00:53:25,280 --> 00:53:27,040 Speaker 2: to go and that whatever he did to hurt me 1191 00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:30,359 Speaker 2: he would get back, so for me to stay. I 1192 00:53:30,400 --> 00:53:32,440 Speaker 2: told her that he will get what he deserves, but 1193 00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:35,640 Speaker 2: I was done with her son. I remained professional as 1194 00:53:35,680 --> 00:53:38,560 Speaker 2: best I can all week when those shifts overlapped at work, 1195 00:53:38,920 --> 00:53:41,680 Speaker 2: even congratulated them on their pregnancy in front of everyone. 1196 00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:44,640 Speaker 3: He called me, to which I picked up and asked. 1197 00:53:44,880 --> 00:53:47,600 Speaker 2: He wanted to know where he stands in our relationships 1198 00:53:47,640 --> 00:53:49,760 Speaker 2: so he can make a decision. I think you've already 1199 00:53:49,760 --> 00:53:51,520 Speaker 2: made a decision, dude, when you were pointing on your 1200 00:53:51,520 --> 00:53:52,600 Speaker 2: mom's vivir birthday. 1201 00:53:52,920 --> 00:53:55,160 Speaker 3: He says, I just need you to tell me where 1202 00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:58,600 Speaker 3: you're at. Yeah, cause if you're like down with us 1203 00:53:58,719 --> 00:54:02,480 Speaker 3: still being together. Yeah, that's crazy. 1204 00:54:02,680 --> 00:54:04,640 Speaker 5: See, I'm just trying to get like a sense of 1205 00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:07,239 Speaker 5: where your head's at, trying to my head. 1206 00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:15,040 Speaker 3: My goodness, h oh, he's thinking relationship. 1207 00:54:15,960 --> 00:54:17,759 Speaker 2: And he asked if I cannot make a scene or 1208 00:54:17,800 --> 00:54:20,600 Speaker 2: make things awkward at work. I responded, there's no place 1209 00:54:20,640 --> 00:54:23,200 Speaker 2: for him to stand when there is no relationship, and 1210 00:54:23,280 --> 00:54:25,920 Speaker 2: his decision was already made when he decided he wanted 1211 00:54:25,960 --> 00:54:29,000 Speaker 2: to sleep with another woman and impregnant heart. 1212 00:54:29,160 --> 00:54:31,879 Speaker 3: I didn't make things awkward. What they did affected them, 1213 00:54:32,120 --> 00:54:32,520 Speaker 3: not me. 1214 00:54:32,920 --> 00:54:35,000 Speaker 2: This week, his sister ended up quitting after she got 1215 00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:37,759 Speaker 2: into an argument with another supervisor. And Friday came back 1216 00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:39,760 Speaker 2: around today and I received some more good news. 1217 00:54:39,840 --> 00:54:40,760 Speaker 3: The company ended. 1218 00:54:40,680 --> 00:54:43,200 Speaker 2: Up firing him because of a DUI, which he now 1219 00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:46,799 Speaker 2: has two duys. Am I the a hole side note, 1220 00:54:46,960 --> 00:54:50,000 Speaker 2: My ex our coworker were all supervisors at the same company. 1221 00:54:50,239 --> 00:54:53,040 Speaker 2: His sister reports to our coworker. They're all on first 1222 00:54:53,080 --> 00:54:55,520 Speaker 2: shift and I'm on second shift. And we do have 1223 00:54:55,560 --> 00:54:58,439 Speaker 2: an update. Wow, but do we have any final thoughts 1224 00:54:58,520 --> 00:54:59,960 Speaker 2: before we go into this update? 1225 00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:05,759 Speaker 8: A lot of crazy stuff happened. It's pretty easy. Yeah, no, 1226 00:55:05,920 --> 00:55:09,279 Speaker 8: don't go back together with them. Cheated on you and 1227 00:55:09,320 --> 00:55:13,720 Speaker 8: had a baby with another woman. It's pretty yeah, pretty, 1228 00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:14,880 Speaker 8: So you're yeah, you're. 1229 00:55:14,760 --> 00:55:17,840 Speaker 3: Definitely not the a whole. I don't know what you would. 1230 00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:21,880 Speaker 2: Be the a whole for, Like nothing, you didn't do anything, 1231 00:55:22,040 --> 00:55:24,000 Speaker 2: You didn't do anything, you just I don't know what 1232 00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:26,040 Speaker 2: you would be the ale for. You left the party 1233 00:55:26,080 --> 00:55:28,279 Speaker 2: and you congratulated them on the pregnancy. I think that's 1234 00:55:28,280 --> 00:55:29,080 Speaker 2: a very nice thing to do. 1235 00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:33,319 Speaker 3: If they feel guilty, Yeah, that's all they am. That's 1236 00:55:33,360 --> 00:55:36,560 Speaker 3: on them, man, that's on them. But there is an update. 1237 00:55:36,719 --> 00:55:39,640 Speaker 2: So, since my ex boyfriend has been fired, my phone 1238 00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:43,040 Speaker 2: has been ringing non stop with constant messages going off. 1239 00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:46,480 Speaker 2: I ended up blocking his number. At work, my coworker 1240 00:55:46,520 --> 00:55:50,359 Speaker 2: has reported me to HR for Pesterman. My manager, who 1241 00:55:50,400 --> 00:55:52,600 Speaker 2: has been on personal time off for the past two weeks, 1242 00:55:52,640 --> 00:55:54,520 Speaker 2: talk to me about it throughout the past week and 1243 00:55:54,680 --> 00:55:57,319 Speaker 2: asked about what happened. I told my manager that I 1244 00:55:57,320 --> 00:55:59,600 Speaker 2: haven't done or said anything to my coworkers except for 1245 00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:03,240 Speaker 2: cold congratulations on her pregnancy and hello, as a fellow 1246 00:56:03,320 --> 00:56:06,040 Speaker 2: coworker would. I told HR where the proof was that 1247 00:56:06,080 --> 00:56:08,319 Speaker 2: I was talking about her or making her uncomfortable, and 1248 00:56:08,360 --> 00:56:11,240 Speaker 2: that they can go ask associates or other management members 1249 00:56:11,480 --> 00:56:14,080 Speaker 2: if I had said anything about her, also for them 1250 00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:16,720 Speaker 2: to go ask her to explain to them exactly why 1251 00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:20,920 Speaker 2: she felt I was pestering her on what grounds. Apparently 1252 00:56:20,920 --> 00:56:23,880 Speaker 2: associates and management have been talking about her pregnancy and 1253 00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:26,200 Speaker 2: how my ex boyfriend cheated on me and is the 1254 00:56:26,239 --> 00:56:26,920 Speaker 2: baby daddy. 1255 00:56:27,320 --> 00:56:30,680 Speaker 3: She is saying that I told everyone about it. Pathetic. 1256 00:56:30,840 --> 00:56:33,359 Speaker 2: She needs to realize that the only reason everyone knows 1257 00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:36,160 Speaker 2: is because she purposely posted it on Instagram for the 1258 00:56:36,200 --> 00:56:40,160 Speaker 2: world to see about her and my ex boyfriend scandalous 1259 00:56:40,320 --> 00:56:42,960 Speaker 2: relationship and also announcing her pregnancy. 1260 00:56:43,040 --> 00:56:43,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a good point too. 1261 00:56:44,080 --> 00:56:47,600 Speaker 2: Her coworker told OPE that she was being cheated on like. 1262 00:56:49,200 --> 00:56:50,759 Speaker 3: OPI found out after PE. 1263 00:56:50,960 --> 00:56:54,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, everyone else is telling OpEd the information. It has 1264 00:56:54,960 --> 00:56:58,040 Speaker 2: been confirmed by HR after asking management and associates that 1265 00:56:58,080 --> 00:57:00,200 Speaker 2: I have not said anything to my coworker but that 1266 00:57:00,239 --> 00:57:03,640 Speaker 2: day when everyone congratulated her on her pregnancy. Also that 1267 00:57:03,680 --> 00:57:05,919 Speaker 2: I didn't say anything to anyone about my cheating young's 1268 00:57:05,960 --> 00:57:08,440 Speaker 2: boyfriend and coworker, but that everyone found out through her 1269 00:57:08,520 --> 00:57:11,000 Speaker 2: post on Instagram. They said that they would talk to 1270 00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:13,000 Speaker 2: her and handle the situation, but for the time being, 1271 00:57:13,120 --> 00:57:15,719 Speaker 2: I was to keep a distance fine with me. I'm 1272 00:57:15,719 --> 00:57:17,600 Speaker 2: not sure how they will take care of the situation, 1273 00:57:17,720 --> 00:57:20,720 Speaker 2: but I'll wait and see what happens now. Over the weekend, 1274 00:57:20,800 --> 00:57:22,440 Speaker 2: I went over to their house to get my stuff. 1275 00:57:22,440 --> 00:57:24,520 Speaker 2: After confirming with his mom that he was not home, 1276 00:57:24,880 --> 00:57:26,880 Speaker 2: she agreed to help pack my stuff for me as well, 1277 00:57:26,960 --> 00:57:28,920 Speaker 2: so I can just go in and out. She had 1278 00:57:28,960 --> 00:57:32,160 Speaker 2: the garage open and was finishing up packing stuff, so 1279 00:57:32,360 --> 00:57:35,040 Speaker 2: I went to help her finish. As we were finishing, 1280 00:57:35,040 --> 00:57:36,920 Speaker 2: he pulled up on the driveway, so I grabbed the 1281 00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:38,640 Speaker 2: last of what I could and told his mom that 1282 00:57:38,680 --> 00:57:39,280 Speaker 2: I was leaving. 1283 00:57:39,520 --> 00:57:41,440 Speaker 3: I rushed to my car, but he stopped me and 1284 00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:44,440 Speaker 3: said that he wanted to talk. There was nothing to 1285 00:57:44,480 --> 00:57:47,160 Speaker 3: talk about. His mom told him to let me leave. 1286 00:57:47,520 --> 00:57:49,600 Speaker 2: She walks over to pull him to the side, but 1287 00:57:49,720 --> 00:57:50,800 Speaker 2: he brushes her off. 1288 00:57:50,920 --> 00:57:53,800 Speaker 3: He wouldn't let me leave until we talk. That's not scary. No, 1289 00:57:54,120 --> 00:57:57,960 Speaker 3: it's not scary. No, No, that's yeah. 1290 00:57:58,320 --> 00:57:58,600 Speaker 4: No. 1291 00:58:01,720 --> 00:58:04,400 Speaker 3: See what you're doing, dude, that's your fault. So that's 1292 00:58:04,440 --> 00:58:06,800 Speaker 3: your fault because of you. I try to throw tom 1293 00:58:06,840 --> 00:58:08,440 Speaker 3: hens and I myself. 1294 00:58:08,800 --> 00:58:11,080 Speaker 2: Man. He kept saying to listen to him, and he 1295 00:58:11,160 --> 00:58:12,960 Speaker 2: needed to talk to me. At this point, I was 1296 00:58:13,080 --> 00:58:15,760 Speaker 2: just over it, I responded, what is there to talk about? 1297 00:58:15,840 --> 00:58:17,760 Speaker 2: The day I came over here and asked you to 1298 00:58:17,760 --> 00:58:20,000 Speaker 2: explain to me what happened, you couldn't even come outside 1299 00:58:20,040 --> 00:58:22,040 Speaker 2: and tell me, Not even for a second did I 1300 00:58:22,080 --> 00:58:23,800 Speaker 2: see your face. I give you a chance to come 1301 00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:26,640 Speaker 2: out and explain yourself, but you threw that chance away. 1302 00:58:26,720 --> 00:58:28,240 Speaker 2: You only spoke with me over the phone, and not 1303 00:58:28,360 --> 00:58:30,200 Speaker 2: once did you even apologize for having. 1304 00:58:30,160 --> 00:58:30,720 Speaker 3: Cheated on me. 1305 00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:34,000 Speaker 2: You couldn't even come out to face me, so you 1306 00:58:34,040 --> 00:58:36,960 Speaker 2: sent your sister to tell me to leave, and that already. 1307 00:58:36,560 --> 00:58:40,200 Speaker 3: Explains what you are not. You are not a man. 1308 00:58:40,560 --> 00:58:42,480 Speaker 3: You can't even own up to your wrongdoing. 1309 00:58:42,720 --> 00:58:44,800 Speaker 2: Now that you want to talk, I don't have to listen, 1310 00:58:44,840 --> 00:58:47,200 Speaker 2: since there is nothing between the two of us. 1311 00:58:47,360 --> 00:58:50,560 Speaker 3: Bam. I think that's a banger response. Yeah, I think 1312 00:58:50,600 --> 00:58:51,200 Speaker 3: you nailed it. 1313 00:58:51,280 --> 00:58:54,080 Speaker 5: I really think there's like, like, there's no question here. 1314 00:58:54,320 --> 00:58:56,280 Speaker 5: You just need to get him out of your life. 1315 00:58:56,280 --> 00:58:58,479 Speaker 5: And if he keeps bothering you, I don't know, like, yeah, 1316 00:58:58,560 --> 00:59:02,240 Speaker 5: restraining order absolute. I mean, I'm real, you can report 1317 00:59:02,320 --> 00:59:05,200 Speaker 5: him and say no, he's literally harassing me. 1318 00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:07,360 Speaker 2: He's showing up to my house when people are telling 1319 00:59:07,400 --> 00:59:08,880 Speaker 2: me him to leave, including me. 1320 00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:10,600 Speaker 3: He's not leaving. 1321 00:59:10,600 --> 00:59:15,640 Speaker 2: He won't even let me leave, like that's yeah, that's crazy. 1322 00:59:17,400 --> 00:59:20,440 Speaker 2: I'm rolling my eyes, rolling our eyes over here. I 1323 00:59:20,480 --> 00:59:22,760 Speaker 2: pushed past him and placed the box in my trunk 1324 00:59:22,840 --> 00:59:24,480 Speaker 2: and went to get in the driver's seat. He was 1325 00:59:24,480 --> 00:59:27,080 Speaker 2: still insisting that I talked to him. He then said 1326 00:59:27,080 --> 00:59:29,040 Speaker 2: that he was sorry, he didn't know what he was thinking, 1327 00:59:29,120 --> 00:59:31,440 Speaker 2: it was all a mistake, and that he still loves me, 1328 00:59:31,760 --> 00:59:33,920 Speaker 2: that he wouldn't be with her if she wasn't pregnant. 1329 00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:36,720 Speaker 2: His mom told him, cheating is not a mistake. You 1330 00:59:36,760 --> 00:59:38,880 Speaker 2: did it because you wanted to do it. Your love 1331 00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:42,680 Speaker 2: was not sincere. You wanted someone else. You did the act, 1332 00:59:42,760 --> 00:59:45,520 Speaker 2: so now you suffer the consequences. I told him, even 1333 00:59:45,560 --> 00:59:49,160 Speaker 2: if she wasn't pregnant, you still cheated for that alone. 1334 00:59:48,920 --> 00:59:49,959 Speaker 3: I will still leave. 1335 00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:53,600 Speaker 2: She pulled him away and waved me off as I left. 1336 00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:56,000 Speaker 2: Since I have his number blocked, he was using his 1337 00:59:56,080 --> 00:59:57,840 Speaker 2: mom's phone to call me, but I hung up once 1338 00:59:57,840 --> 00:59:59,600 Speaker 2: I heard it was him. She then sent me a 1339 00:59:59,640 --> 01:00:02,640 Speaker 2: text my to block her number. Honestly, I feel horrible 1340 01:00:02,640 --> 01:00:04,560 Speaker 2: that his mom had to witness all of this. She 1341 01:00:04,640 --> 01:00:06,880 Speaker 2: was such a lovely person. She cared for me as 1342 01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:08,760 Speaker 2: if I was her daughter. I really do wish the 1343 01:00:08,800 --> 01:00:11,920 Speaker 2: best for her and her grandkids. But may my ex boyfriend, 1344 01:00:12,160 --> 01:00:15,200 Speaker 2: his sister, and my coworker get all the karma that 1345 01:00:15,240 --> 01:00:15,960 Speaker 2: they deserve.