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Speaker 1: First Date of follow up powered by the Advocates Injury

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Speaker 1: Attorneys online at Advocates Law dot com.

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Speaker 2: Ryan is on the phone today for our first date

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Speaker 2: follow up. He's getting ghosted by a woman named Lena,

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Speaker 2: and in a few minutes we're gonna call her seems

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Speaker 2: to tell us why she's ghosting him and maybe get

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Speaker 2: him another date. But first, Ryan, how long has it

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Speaker 2: been since you heard from her?

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Speaker 3: You know, it's been like a couple of weeks.

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Speaker 1: That's definitely a ghosting. Yeah, So how many times have

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Speaker 1: you reached out to her in that time?

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Speaker 3: You know, just a few times. I don't like to

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Speaker 3: like text too much, you know what I mean? Like

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Speaker 3: you like, I think three times I text her and

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Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, that's I'm not doing any more than that.

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Speaker 1: So what do you Let's go back to the date then,

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Speaker 1: like how did you guys meet? What happened on the date?

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Speaker 3: So we met on hinge and then I felt like

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Speaker 3: a really good connection. We both love concerts and like

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Speaker 3: new adventures and trying new things, traveling stuff like that,

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Speaker 3: and like she's very witty and she's very interesting, she's beautiful.

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Speaker 3: So we went to a burger spot on the water nice. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you know, it was a lot of fun. Like it

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Speaker 3: was nice, like kind of outside kind of area, and

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Speaker 3: we were having some drinks, you know, just talking. And

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Speaker 3: afterwards we went and walked around and like kind of

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Speaker 3: took in the scenery and we you know, we had

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Speaker 3: a really great kiss. And it was just like, I

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Speaker 3: don't understand why she goes to me because it felt

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Speaker 3: so romantic and like idealized, you know. I mean maybe

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Speaker 3: some people would think it's cheesy. I don't know, but

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Speaker 3: that's what I was looking for.

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Speaker 1: But it sounds romantic actually, So after all this time,

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Speaker 1: you know, she's ghosting you two weeks later, the date

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Speaker 1: sounds great, But what is it about her that makes

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Speaker 1: you want to see her now?

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Speaker 3: You know? I just felt like I had a real connection.

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Speaker 3: We were like kind of similar goals. We both want

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Speaker 3: to travel. I just felt like we went well together.

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Speaker 1: Did something happen on the date at all that may

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Speaker 1: have made it go in a different direction?

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Speaker 3: Well, I will say, you know something kind of not

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Speaker 3: popular now is I have made a decision recently to

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Speaker 3: abstain from sex until marriage.

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Speaker 2: Okay, and you told her.

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Speaker 3: This, Yeah, yeah, I did, And this is new. You

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Speaker 3: have always heard it.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, right, and you think maybe she had a

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Speaker 2: problem with that because she's like, I need you right now. Ryan.

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Speaker 3: It's you know, it's possible because like I don't think

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Speaker 3: that's the thing that's common now, Like, you know, some

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Speaker 3: people do it, but it's like, especially you know here,

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Speaker 3: like I don't feel like that's one of those things

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Speaker 3: that people do anymore. But the reason why I kind

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Speaker 3: of went that direction is, you know, I slept around

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Speaker 3: and it felt empty, and it felt like I was

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Speaker 3: just kind of using girls for their body and I

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Speaker 3: wasn't connecting right, you know, And it's one of those

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Speaker 3: things after a lot of you're like, gosh, like what

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Speaker 3: do I really want? So, you know, I asked myself

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Speaker 3: when I was like, I want somebody that I could

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Speaker 3: build a future with, and I feel like Lana's has

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Speaker 3: that potential.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I can respect that. My last breakup, I decided

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Speaker 2: that I wasn't going to give myself to anybody unless

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Speaker 2: I thought that their energy was good, you know, or

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Speaker 2: that like I wasn't necessarily a marriage thing, but it

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Speaker 2: was kind of the same thing, but it was more

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Speaker 2: about I don't want to like mix my energy with

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Speaker 2: bad energy, you know, because I feel like it does.

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Speaker 2: I feel like you know you do do it does

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Speaker 2: somehow become a part of you. Well, you exchanged more

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Speaker 2: than just what you can see. That energy is also

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Speaker 2: exchanged between the two of you. So fair, fair, for

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Speaker 2: fair points for both of you. Look at you, guys.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, because that's for sure maturing right. Everybody connection too.

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Speaker 2: So why do you think she's guesting you?

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Speaker 4: Then?

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Speaker 3: I think, you know, I just don't know if she

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Speaker 3: was comfortable with that. I mean, that's my thought, but like,

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Speaker 3: I don't know for sure because everything else went pretty well.

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Speaker 3: But when I said that, she she didn't have a

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Speaker 3: bad reaction, but it was just kind of like she

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Speaker 3: tensed up a little bit, you know, and then it

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Speaker 3: kind of like pad a moment passed. I was like, oh,

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Speaker 3: I guess it's fine.

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Speaker 2: We'll see if we can figure it out for you.

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Speaker 2: Then we'll play as song come back and then call

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Speaker 2: her and see if she'll tell us why she's ghosting

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Speaker 2: you and maybe get you another date. Okay, okay, sounds great,

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Speaker 2: All right, man, Pleas don't come back, get your first

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Speaker 2: day follow up next Sedible show. Right in the middle

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Speaker 2: of the first day follow up and if you're just

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Speaker 2: joining us. Ryan is on the phone. He's getting ghosted

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Speaker 2: by Lana and in a minute we're gonna call her

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Speaker 2: see if she tell us why she's ghosting him and

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Speaker 2: maybe get him another date. But first, Ryan, why don't

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Speaker 2: you recap to everybody your situation.

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Speaker 3: So I met Lana on Hinge. We connected really quickly.

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Speaker 3: I felt like a good connection with her loss of

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Speaker 3: similar interest. We went to a burger spot on the water,

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Speaker 3: had a bunch of cocktails and had a lot of fun,

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Speaker 3: and we went for a walk. We kissed. Everything seemed perfect,

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Speaker 3: But I feel like, maybe because I want to stain

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Speaker 3: from sex until marriage because of my past, that she

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Speaker 3: might be ghosting me.

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Speaker 2: Okay, are you ready for us to call her?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Okay, here we go. Hello, Hi, man, I speak to Alana. Please.

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Speaker 5: This is Lana.

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Speaker 2: Hi Lana, how are you? My name is Jubel and

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Speaker 2: I host a radio show. It's called The Jewbell Show.

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Speaker 1: Hi, Lana, the whole show's here. I'm Nina.

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Speaker 2: Hi, I'm Victoria.

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Speaker 3: How are you?

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Speaker 4: Hi?

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Speaker 1: What's up?

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Speaker 3: Good?

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Speaker 5: Thank you?

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Speaker 2: Have you ever heard the show before?

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Speaker 3: I have not.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I'll let you know something. We do a segment

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Speaker 2: on our show. It's called the first date follow up.

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Speaker 2: What that is is if you go out on a

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Speaker 2: date with somebody and then you ghost them, that person

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Speaker 2: can email us to get you on the phone and

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Speaker 2: ask why you're ghosting them. So we got an email

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Speaker 2: about you.

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Speaker 4: Oh and this is from Ryan.

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Speaker 2: Oh, yes, it is wow Away.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes you will say another name, so we know they're

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Speaker 2: ghosting multiple people. But you're obviously just ghosting Ryan right now.

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Speaker 5: Uh.

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Speaker 4: I would say that I have not exactly been ghosting Ryan.

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Speaker 5: That wasn't my intention. I was taking time to process

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Speaker 5: what he told me.

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Speaker 3: At the end of our date.

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Speaker 4: Ryan said that he is waiting until marriage, and that.

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Speaker 5: Is not something that I've ever done in a relationship.

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Speaker 4: I have always had intimacy with all of my partners

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Speaker 4: and it's a really big part of a relationship for me.

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Speaker 5: So it was not my intention to completely ghost Ryan.

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Speaker 4: I really was trying to take time to think about

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Speaker 4: if this could be something that would work for me.

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Speaker 5: I had such a good time.

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Speaker 4: Yes, it was so magical, and he's such a spiritual

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Speaker 4: guy and we really connected.

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Speaker 5: I felt like he was really seeing me.

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Speaker 4: But I'm afraid that if we get into this relationship

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Speaker 4: without you know, the intimacy that I'm usual will one,

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Speaker 4: This sounds bad, but what if we're not good together

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Speaker 4: physically and we find out too late?

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Speaker 2: That's fair.

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Speaker 4: And another thing that I have been thinking about is

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Speaker 4: what if it becomes something that gives me, you know,

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Speaker 4: reason to stray, our thoughts to stray because I am

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Speaker 4: a sexual person.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, so you're processing a lot of different things.

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Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely, I.

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Speaker 1: Can understand that. Yeah, I mean, it's not something that

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Speaker 1: you hear all the time, and especially if that's a

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Speaker 1: way that you connect and share yourself with another person,

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Speaker 1: And then that's a lot of pressure too, right because

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Speaker 1: you're like, wait a second, so we're doing this, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna get excited and want to unwrap the present.

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Speaker 2: But I can't marry you. So what if we could

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Speaker 2: convince Ryan to sleep with you before you're married? Would

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Speaker 2: you with them again? But would you?

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Speaker 4: I would love to sleep with Ryan, But if this

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Speaker 4: is a boundary that he is setting I and I

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Speaker 4: were to get into a relationship with him, I would

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Speaker 4: I would want to respect that. I would once I

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Speaker 4: am in the relationship, I would not I would have

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Speaker 4: given up any plans to sleep with Ryan.

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Speaker 2: What if we could convince him to go back on

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Speaker 2: his morals?

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Speaker 1: Though, do ball she's respecting his boundaries, maybe you should

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Speaker 1: respect his boundaries.

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Speaker 2: I'll respect his boundaries for now, Lona. Ryan is actually

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Speaker 2: on the phone listening and wants to talk to you.

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Speaker 5: Oh hi Ryan.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I know it's probably like the most awkward way

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Speaker 3: we could meet again. But I want to say, first

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Speaker 3: of all, I respect that, like you respect my boundaries.

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Speaker 3: It was nice to hear that without you knowing I

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Speaker 3: was there, because like that that proves to me that

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Speaker 3: if we can make it work, that this could work.

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Speaker 3: But I just want to say, like for me, I

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Speaker 3: don't see intimacy as just the physical, emotional mental intimacy

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Speaker 3: that can be built. Like you know, we can have

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Speaker 3: days where we just cuddle his collass like all that's

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Speaker 3: on the able. Still, I'm just not trying to think

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Speaker 3: it all the way.

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Speaker 1: So like where do you draw the line?

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Speaker 3: Well, I think that's something that we have to discuss, right.

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Speaker 2: Got it.

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Speaker 4: I respect that, and that does make me excited to

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Speaker 4: hear that you have interest in being intimate with me.

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Speaker 4: I am My biggest concern is still I just am

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Speaker 4: really concerned of.

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Speaker 5: Straying, and that's not your fault, not your fault at.

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Speaker 4: All, And that's something that I need to decide and

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Speaker 4: you know, make a plan with my morals that I

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Speaker 4: will not you know, if we were to be in

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Speaker 4: a relationship together, that I will not feel that I'm

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Speaker 4: not getting what I.

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Speaker 5: Need and then look for what I need elsewhere.

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Speaker 3: I think I can find ways to take care of

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Speaker 3: what you need at least.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm trying to get you to rethink the promise

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Speaker 2: that you made to yourself, but I'm trying to get

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Speaker 2: you to rethink it. When I decided to do this

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Speaker 2: similar thing, I didn't make it about marriage because you know,

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Speaker 2: like you should really get to know somebody for it,

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Speaker 2: and it can be a long time before marriage, so

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Speaker 2: that's a long time not doing it. But me and

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Speaker 2: my therapist came up with I will not give myself

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Speaker 2: to anybody until I know I have a secure connection

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Speaker 2: with them.

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Speaker 3: Well, I think that's fair. I think that's a healthy

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Speaker 3: way of thinking of it too.

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Speaker 2: So because does it have to be like a ring

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Speaker 2: and a ceremony and all that for Ryan to get

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Speaker 2: it out?

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Speaker 3: Okay, I don't think it has to, but there definitely

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Speaker 3: has to be that line where it's like, I know

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Speaker 3: I'm building a future with you. At the very least.

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Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of talk that we're getting

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Speaker 1: ahead of ourselves here a little bit. You guys like

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Speaker 1: each other, and I think there's definitely stuff that you

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Speaker 1: guys can explore to even see if you're gonna make

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Speaker 1: it all that way. People just tell me not to

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Speaker 1: get ahead of myself, and I feel like we're gonna

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Speaker 1: ahead of ourselves here too, So I don't know that

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Speaker 1: there's a possibility of you getting your needs met in

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Speaker 1: a certain way, and Ryan, you know you're open to

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Speaker 1: exploring that stuff too.

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Speaker 2: I don't see any problems.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that will work.

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Speaker 5: I do think that it may be cheesy, but I

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Speaker 5: think that it is.

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Speaker 4: Very sweet that you brought me on the radio to

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Speaker 4: call me for a second date. I think that is

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Speaker 4: very romantic, and I'm I'm willing to try it.

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Speaker 5: I think that we have such a good connection.

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Speaker 2: So you'll go out with Ryan again. We'll pay for it,

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Speaker 2: I will.

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Speaker 5: I would love to see you again. Ryan.

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Speaker 3: So awesome, that's great. I'm glad to hear that. It's

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Speaker 3: like it's I'm so excited you know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you guys are cute.

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Speaker 5: I'm so excited too, me too.

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Speaker 2: Yeah lot, Congratulations Ryan, you did it. You got another date?

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Speaker 4: All right?

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Speaker 5: You will first date follow up