Speaker 1: The Nicky Gliser Podcast.
Speaker 2: Glaser.
Speaker 1: Here's Nikki. Hello here, I am welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 1: It's Nicky Glaser Podcast. Second episode of the week. That's
Speaker 1: how we do it. We're gonna be honest with you.
Speaker 1: If you listened to yesterday's episode, it was just a
Speaker 1: couple of hours for us.
Speaker 2: Ah.
Speaker 1: I always, I always am honest when it comes up.
Speaker 1: I never try to fake it like we're doing it
Speaker 1: like the next day. This is the same day, but
Speaker 1: it's just a different flavor. And honestly, we just got
Speaker 1: we just got warmed up earlier.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the last one is skip that one. Just go
Speaker 2: straight to this one because this is yeah on fire.
Speaker 1: If you can go do like an eternal sunshine yourself
Speaker 1: to forget it that if you already heard it, God forbid. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is the one to listen to because this is
Speaker 1: one's gonna have a lot of meat to it.
Speaker 2: Would you do that eternal sunshine yourself reason?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, there's been times. One time that comes to
Speaker 1: mind because I just got done talking about this in
Speaker 1: therapy and then before that in an interview, because I
Speaker 1: just talk about things.
Speaker 2: Like therapy, it's the same thing.
Speaker 1: I have no boundaries with anyone.
Speaker 2: Imagine is being much different than this podcast.
Speaker 1: Who did I just talk to that said the same thing,
Speaker 1: and they said, whenever I go to therapy, they're always like,
Speaker 1: who the fuck was it. That's so upsetting because it
Speaker 1: was the first time I've ever heard someone else say that,
Speaker 1: because I've been to therapists before and they'll be like, Nikki,
Speaker 1: I just want to say thank you for revealing that
Speaker 1: to me, and like this is a safe space. I
Speaker 1: just want to remind you, and I go, oh, I
Speaker 1: literally just said it an hour ago, like I, I
Speaker 1: workshopped it before I got to you, and to thousands
Speaker 1: of people at least, you know who knows, because but
Speaker 1: they're always like, really, there isn't much difference. Yeah, it was,
Speaker 1: it's a little more more detailed. In fact, I left
Speaker 1: the cameras going for the first episode, like I forgot
Speaker 1: to on record. I think it's also known to stop,
Speaker 1: and I left it on for an interview and then
Speaker 1: for the therapy that followed the interview, which I needed
Speaker 1: a lot of therapy after the interview because the interview
Speaker 1: I like said a lot that I was and it's
Speaker 1: a very high profile piece and it was so great. Well,
Speaker 1: I was being interviewed by a celebrity, and I will
Speaker 1: play the guessing game with your thing, but it already
Speaker 1: failed for the celebrity, or already failed this person, and
Speaker 1: so I know it won't reveal him or her, And so.
Speaker 2: I just want to clarify the acrenator is not my thing.
Speaker 2: I didn't make it. I did not stand by it
Speaker 2: after it failed twice on this podcast. I fully retract
Speaker 2: the enforcement.
Speaker 1: You talked such a big game for it.
Speaker 2: There's been some time blow my mind. I'm sure two
Speaker 2: times it's blown my mind and reversed put my mind back.
Speaker 1: To But but so it was. I was talking in
Speaker 1: the interview about a moment that I wanted to eternal Sunshine,
Speaker 1: which is like when I read something about myself on
Speaker 1: Reddit that I like, had only ever thought about myself
Speaker 1: and never had anyone even slightly say to me to
Speaker 1: my face, or had ever read in a comment. It
Speaker 1: was just like a thing I'd noticed about myself that
Speaker 1: I'm mostly insecure about. I won't even I won't even
Speaker 1: hint at what it is because I don't want anyone
Speaker 1: ever use it against me. But I when I read
Speaker 1: that comment, I almost was like hyperventilating like I couldn't.
Speaker 1: The feeling that was going on in my body was
Speaker 1: so uncomfortable. It felt like I was burning alive, like
Speaker 1: and I and you and I just all I wanted
Speaker 1: to do was go back to a time where I
Speaker 1: didn't see that comment. And then I eventually got over
Speaker 1: a couple of years later. But that was a joke,
Speaker 1: but it really took me a while. It took me
Speaker 1: like months to unsee that what about you?
Speaker 2: Well, I didn't take it as a joke, because I
Speaker 2: would it would take me a couple of years sometimes
Speaker 2: to get over some things like that. I've recently learned
Speaker 2: like I need to chill with trying to find feedback
Speaker 2: on the internet, Like I need to chill.
Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? Yeah, it's there's it's drinking, it's
Speaker 1: it is smoking weed, it's doing hero and it's it's
Speaker 1: shopping addiction. It's guys, it's an addiction. If you're someone
Speaker 1: who has comments about you out there on the internet
Speaker 1: and you read them, there's no good in it. You
Speaker 1: can keep convincing yourself you're looking for feedback. You can
Speaker 1: keep you can keep justifying it like a drink. But
Speaker 1: it's my birthday, it's Saint Patrick's a It's never gonna go.
Speaker 2: Well, it doesn't. I I went nuts when Tim dillan
Speaker 2: this is Your Country came out. And I've read every
Speaker 2: single told us comment, every single tweet. I've read every
Speaker 2: single thing that was written by any Even if it
Speaker 2: was a bot, I've probably read it right, and I
Speaker 2: drove me insane.
Speaker 1: I think I won't apologize for some of that stuff
Speaker 1: I wrote because I wasn't a bad place. I was
Speaker 1: jealous that night and I didn't I'm glad you didn't
Speaker 1: trace my name.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: I I can only imagine, but imagine how Tim feels.
Speaker 1: Can I just I'm sorry to take away from the
Speaker 1: you and your piece. Sometimes I read things about my
Speaker 1: fellow comedians and I go, good Lord, I hope they
Speaker 1: don't see this. And I'm not talking just about Tim Dillon,
Speaker 1: even though his fans are not nice. No, because I
Speaker 1: believe me. I joined the Tim Dillon subreddit because I
Speaker 1: am a fan. Didn't know that it was all people
Speaker 1: who love him so much that they hate him.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's a common that's very common.
Speaker 1: I mean I saw it with Howard Stern too, same
Speaker 1: same same thing happened in his subreddit. It's a toxic place,
Speaker 1: and I does Tim read comments. I don't know if
Speaker 1: he does or not.
Speaker 2: I don't think he does.
Speaker 1: If he's alive and hasn't off himself.
Speaker 2: He yeah, he releases. He releases the podcast every single week,
Speaker 2: plus a Patreon episode every single week where he says
Speaker 2: some things that a lot of people would be upset by.
Speaker 2: So if he's reading his comment by now, I think
Speaker 2: he's sworn off reading the comments, because it's just like,
Speaker 2: what's the point You're gonna piss off so many people
Speaker 2: every week?
Speaker 1: There's no I mean, yeah, you're right, the people he
Speaker 1: pisses off, he would probably enjoy that because he knows
Speaker 1: what he's doing. Sure in that regard, But I'm talking
Speaker 1: about people that attack your character, or not even your character.
Speaker 1: You're you know, just are just brutally cruel in ways
Speaker 1: that you would only hear it like a roast where
Speaker 1: you have been paid a million dollars to be there
Speaker 1: and you've agreed to it, like you, no one should
Speaker 1: ever read these things about themselves, even at a roast.
Speaker 1: I argue, you shouldn't have to hear the stuff about yourself.
Speaker 1: It's so painful.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I think I honestly don't think he reads
Speaker 2: any of them.
Speaker 1: I think I don't think he would either.
Speaker 2: Because I can't even really imagine him sitting there reading it.
Speaker 1: No, and you know what, because he's he doesn't because
Speaker 1: he's evolved. Yeah, I think Tim Dillan is you know,
Speaker 1: is because he's smart, and he also it would stand
Speaker 1: in his way and he's a successful person. Yeah, he's
Speaker 1: you know, like it it is a hindrance to you.
Speaker 1: That's why he doesn't do drugs anymore. That's why he
Speaker 1: doesn't drink. I would guess it's the same reason why
Speaker 1: he doesn't read. He's learned that there is no good
Speaker 1: in there. There's nothing good.
Speaker 2: I didn't learn from that yet. I have not learned
Speaker 2: that lesson. Fully, it's not ingrained.
Speaker 1: In me either, did the person I just interviewed. And
Speaker 1: I got like, I interviewed with this this girl interviewed me,
Speaker 1: and we're talking about comments, and she said, young, wait, channel,
Speaker 1: you're just surreptitiously start inserting acnaer questions, trying.
Speaker 2: To get out of it again, giving it a second chance.
Speaker 1: But no, I I I because she was like, you know,
Speaker 1: sometimes I read the comments and I go no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: it's not a sometimes, it's a never because she's someone
Speaker 1: who also has dealt with like addiction, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: if it's it's like drinking, you don't get to even
Speaker 1: do a sip, you know, Like, this isn't about like
Speaker 1: one beer. You can have one beer and by the way,
Speaker 1: it will it's it's it's never gonna be enough, and
Speaker 1: it's it's just a I literally was like I almost
Speaker 1: got uh. It went from being like a fun conversation
Speaker 1: to me being like, you don't understand. This isn't a joke,
Speaker 1: Like you have to stop. And I really believe that.
Speaker 1: I think this is my new fucking pedestal is to stop.
Speaker 1: If you feel that social media is harm harming you,
Speaker 1: you gotta put it down. You gotta uninstall Instagram from
Speaker 1: your phone. Not forever, I'm not saying, but I think
Speaker 1: if your celebrity comments, you really have to say goodbye
Speaker 1: to it forever.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think if you're if you're a celebrity of a
Speaker 2: certain stature, someone else should be just handling your social
Speaker 2: media and you shouldn't even be thinking about it.
Speaker 1: I mean, I told Emily to just tell me gen ZM.
Speaker 1: My new thing is like I saw she told me like, oh,
Speaker 1: someone came up in conversation. She goes, she comments on
Speaker 1: yourself all the time, and I go, Okay. The next
Speaker 1: time she has a post that you think I would
Speaker 1: have something nice to say, send it to me and
Speaker 1: then I'll comment, so like eat because that's the thing
Speaker 1: I miss out on is like I like to see
Speaker 1: nice things and then right back to their stuff, and
Speaker 1: I want to be interactive and right back to their comment.
Speaker 1: So what why That's because like being nice?
Speaker 2: The question is why has social media not invented a
Speaker 2: filter for that positive.
Speaker 1: Filter that you can put certain words in? And I
Speaker 1: put one time, I like screen recorded it when the
Speaker 1: feature first came out, and I made a joke about it,
Speaker 1: and I just put like cunt not funny, sure horse face,
Speaker 1: and then I put what did I do? I did
Speaker 1: a really funny one that was like a misspell uh
Speaker 1: your or it was like you're not funny and it
Speaker 1: was yo, you are. So it only was kidding people
Speaker 1: that would spell it wrong out, which I thought was
Speaker 1: like a nice way of saying like I don't care
Speaker 1: about your opinion if you're dumb, but if you say
Speaker 1: you are with a poster be uh, we're a game,
Speaker 1: but yeah, you could put certain filters for words, but
Speaker 1: that just you know.
Speaker 2: But I want to be like an AI, a positive
Speaker 2: use of AI that says that will read all the
Speaker 2: comments and delete anything that's negative, so that you're only
Speaker 2: seeing positive feed. But I mean, I guess if you're
Speaker 2: gonna read the comments at all, then it's not beneficial
Speaker 2: to you. But it wouldn't it be nice if it
Speaker 2: just served you the nice stuff?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would love to know about fire emojis or
Speaker 1: you know, j Loo's been liking my stuff and I
Speaker 1: find out later from Emily. But yeah, but it might
Speaker 1: be nice to get a little Lord on my phone
Speaker 1: for that, or be able to like enjoy that in
Speaker 1: the moment and not go, oh that's cool two weeks
Speaker 1: ago that happened, Oh that's cool, Like because I don't.
Speaker 1: I just can't. But I can't do it. It's just, you know,
Speaker 1: it's I could have. I probably could have a glass
Speaker 1: of wine and have a really fun night, but I
Speaker 1: don't want to risk it.
Speaker 2: No, you can't.
Speaker 1: It's not worth it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not worth it. Really thinking about getting back
Speaker 2: into weed a little bit you were into weed. Well,
Speaker 2: when I was in high school, I smoked weed every day.
Speaker 2: Like the song said, oh well.
Speaker 1: It was instructional. Yeah, it was okay, and it was
Speaker 1: a different weed was different back then.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean my big fear with weed is that,
Speaker 2: you know, when I've smoked it every day, it made
Speaker 2: me kind of slow and dumb because I'm smoking too much, right,
Speaker 2: But I do. I do kind of feel like I
Speaker 2: could use something that make me chill, like I need
Speaker 2: to calm down.
Speaker 1: I would never recommend weed to anyone, except for any reason.
Speaker 2: You did.
Speaker 1: You gotta wait for the joke. Except you, right now.
Speaker 1: I'm serious you. Your brain is so good, Brian, and
Speaker 1: I'm I value your brain. Your brain literally helps my
Speaker 1: career immensely with all the things we work on. So
Speaker 1: I would never recommend something that I ever think would
Speaker 1: addle your brain in any way. Weed a little bit
Speaker 1: here and there, I think would be very medicinal for you.
Speaker 1: And that as me saying that as someone who's not
Speaker 1: a medical professional in any way, and it could really
Speaker 1: ruin things. But I think I don't think you are
Speaker 1: someone that is an addict and would use it in
Speaker 1: that way.
Speaker 3: Again, your career is too important to you. I'm thinking
Speaker 3: right now smoking it or eating.
Speaker 2: Well, I think I would be interested in taking like
Speaker 2: a weed, mint or something like that.
Speaker 3: Uh okay, so that is right now. Wait a minute,
Speaker 3: Hold on a second. Well, this is not a debate
Speaker 3: a single You could do it, but just be careful
Speaker 3: not to eat too much because then whatever you're anxious
Speaker 3: about or you know, like in your head about or
Speaker 3: just get amplified.
Speaker 1: That has been my experience. That's why I'm saying you
Speaker 1: should smoke it, because edibles make me think too much.
Speaker 1: But smoking it's like immediate like release for me, at
Speaker 1: least of tension.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think that's what I need because I'm so
Speaker 2: anxious all the time and I have abate. You know.
Speaker 2: I was reading I'm actually gonna do a I'm gonna
Speaker 2: do a big al about vapean It's my next big vape.
Speaker 1: Weed every day. Yeah, I really think you should.
Speaker 2: But yeah, not every day, but like you know, it's
Speaker 2: just a couple of times a day. I was thinking of.
Speaker 2: I was reading articles about you know, like you micro
Speaker 2: dos shrooms, and that became very popular for a while.
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm, Well, there have been some studies about micro
Speaker 2: dosing weed and doing like a very very small amount
Speaker 2: of weed just to kind of like.
Speaker 1: I know people that do it and how I feel.
Speaker 1: So I gave some people very close to my life
Speaker 1: some of my vapes that I just like lose vapes
Speaker 1: all the time, and then I find them and I'm so,
Speaker 1: I just have like a ton of these weed vapes
Speaker 1: with like a ton of juice in them because I
Speaker 1: don't need much to feel good, and I gave them.
Speaker 1: I said, you just need like not even a full hit.
Speaker 1: Do not even just keep it in your mouth, just
Speaker 1: absorb it through your gums, like not even involve your lungs,
Speaker 1: like just one because it's so fucking strong now, and
Speaker 1: especially if you haven't spoked weed for twenty years or whatever,
Speaker 1: or however long it's been, you're younger than me fifteen years.
Speaker 1: Just half a hit of a vape pen I'm not kidding,
Speaker 1: or a vape, a little disposable vape will make you
Speaker 1: feel immense relief and it will not turn into a
Speaker 1: toxic habit that I think. I just know you. I
Speaker 1: just don't predict that it would.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think so either. I'm very interested in
Speaker 2: doing I think I think it actually will be helpful
Speaker 2: to me and it won't make me too d because
Speaker 2: it really did make me stupid. I have my SAT
Speaker 2: scores like track to when I stopped smoking weed. Whoa,
Speaker 2: it went down and then I stopped and it went up.
Speaker 1: No, I definitely I've during COVID I was smoking weed
Speaker 1: every day and pretty much twenty eighteen, I smoked weed
Speaker 1: a lot until September and I had to do Dancing
Speaker 1: with the Stars and then I like could not. I
Speaker 1: couldn't learn dancing and smoke weed. But I've gone through
Speaker 1: many years of my life doing it every day. And
Speaker 1: it does make you dumber the more you Yeah, but
Speaker 1: then you're moderation a little hit.
Speaker 2: Come on now, well you know it'll make you dumb.
Speaker 2: Is having a low key stress and anxiety that just
Speaker 2: keeps ratcheting up forever.
Speaker 1: Dude. It's yeah, having just that that relief of that
Speaker 1: like it for me, and then I don't think this
Speaker 1: is for everyone, but for me, weed will just like
Speaker 1: take me out of this moment of panic I have
Speaker 1: and just make me instantly like okay, everything's fine, Like
Speaker 1: and I know that people. Weed is a highly addictive substance.
Speaker 1: It ruins lives people could easily get not easily, but
Speaker 1: people do get very addicted to weed. And it's it's disassociative.
Speaker 1: It's not something you should do all day every day.
Speaker 2: It doesn't solve your problems.
Speaker 1: Either, it doesn't, but it if you you know what, like,
Speaker 1: it's just a little I think, And I don't want
Speaker 1: I'm I I'm endorsing this a little too much. But
Speaker 1: I for you, Brian, I just knowing your character and
Speaker 1: how you handle things. And even with sports betting, remember
Speaker 1: when you were betting on sports in the second you
Speaker 1: were like, this is making my life bad. You you
Speaker 1: stopped or like at.
Speaker 2: Least took a break. I took a break.
Speaker 1: Okay, So you you know how to manage this stuff.
Speaker 1: It's not unmanageable. You're not like an unmanageable addict. And
Speaker 1: I think that there's the people that I've given these
Speaker 1: vapes too. I didn't finish my story because I vape weed.
Speaker 1: But they have told me that it has been helpful,
Speaker 1: just a little and the and they they're not craving
Speaker 1: at the rest of the day, and it just makes
Speaker 1: things a little easier. And I will say every dad
Speaker 1: I know just like eats edibles, and plays with their kids,
Speaker 1: and like that's what makes them like be able to
Speaker 1: do that. It makes sense every night they get home
Speaker 1: from work and it's like a treat, and then they're
Speaker 1: like interested in legos suddenly.
Speaker 2: No, I mean that sounds amazing, doesn't it. That's the
Speaker 2: only thing. That's the only time I've ever heard like, Oh,
Speaker 2: I guess I could be a dad is hearing that story.
Speaker 2: I felt the same way.
Speaker 1: I'm like, so, yeah, I'll be interested to hear that
Speaker 1: our dads are doing. I mean, my dad, I think
Speaker 1: was just drinking and smoking. But my dad never like
Speaker 1: got wasted ever. I've never seen him like truly fucked up.
Speaker 1: Maybe a little bit, but never like to the point
Speaker 1: where I'm like, you're embarrassing. But weed wise, Oh, my
Speaker 1: parents on weed, which they'll be so mad that I'm
Speaker 1: even talking about this. Sorry, Mom and dad, you've smoked
Speaker 1: weed before. I know it, we all know it. And
Speaker 1: they call it getting off. Oh they say I got
Speaker 1: off on that? Whoa disgusting? Is that a boomer thing
Speaker 1: or is that just like a seventies term for like
Speaker 1: nineteen seventy three Cincinnati, that's what they were saying.
Speaker 2: I guess I got off on weed.
Speaker 1: How'd you get off on that?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: I got off on that hit? Like it they that's
Speaker 1: what that's what getting high is.
Speaker 2: To them In New York. They would say, I I
Speaker 2: gizzed all over myself on that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that was our cool nomenclature, and we all
Speaker 1: know what it meant. But when my dad gets stoned,
Speaker 1: he gets sentimental, and it's really irritating when you're not
Speaker 1: in the mood to like cry about a family video
Speaker 1: or whatever.
Speaker 2: He does.
Speaker 1: And then my mom, when she gets uh, gets off,
Speaker 1: she starts filming. She turns into gen z m and like, like,
Speaker 1: is mak wants just to make film me NonStop? I'll
Speaker 1: be like because my dad. So then my dad's sentimental
Speaker 1: and he's crying about something or like remembering a memory
Speaker 1: of fucked up memory of his childhood. And then my
Speaker 1: mom is sitting there filming and it's just the weirdest
Speaker 1: and I go, Mom, stop, and we're like, why do
Speaker 1: you always film when you get high? Like it's so funny.
Speaker 1: She turns into like the uh, you know remember that
Speaker 1: show that that never mind, it doesn't matter what I was,
Speaker 1: but anyway, she yeah, she turns into James Cameron. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna choose films.
Speaker 2: She films you, and then she and then she shows
Speaker 2: up to your dad and she's and then your dad
Speaker 2: starts crying about the moment that happened five seconds.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then it just cycles like that. But if
Speaker 1: I go through my mom's camera sometimes I do. I
Speaker 1: just see hours of footage.
Speaker 2: She's just filming, secret filming.
Speaker 1: Blurry, like her lenses smeared. Because I know they had
Speaker 1: a good time, and they took a little edible and
Speaker 1: they got off on and they had some fun. They
Speaker 1: were watching Bill Maher and then they played music, and
Speaker 1: then they filmed each other crying.
Speaker 2: You're you're a fan of this. I mean you've you've
Speaker 2: done you know. Rob Stern my friend love Ron, So
Speaker 2: he frequently if we're just hanging out or something, he'll
Speaker 2: frequently secretly film the hangout just so that we can
Speaker 2: get like a natural like here's how we went the
Speaker 2: memory of it without us all acting fake. I love
Speaker 2: that because a couple of times I.
Speaker 1: Would kill well, I'm trying to make content. I'm not
Speaker 1: trying to make memories. No, I told that to uh,
Speaker 1: you know, I would kill for recordings of me and
Speaker 1: my friends from back of the day or even now.
Speaker 1: It's interesting that I can't really contextualize it now and
Speaker 1: say I want to look back on this time with
Speaker 1: my friends and record a candid moment. But my friend
Speaker 1: the other day was talking about how her daughter just
Speaker 1: constantly talks. She's like four years old, and she said,
Speaker 1: so I was talking to herself and I'm gonna do this,
Speaker 1: and then the Prince is going to come over here. Then, like,
Speaker 1: no matter what she's doing, she's playing, she's like monologizing
Speaker 1: all the time. And I said, just take your phone,
Speaker 1: hit record, and just leave it next to her, and
Speaker 1: she will cherish that audio someday when she is an adult.
Speaker 1: So much to hear your baby voice just like going free,
Speaker 1: like just free associating for an hour while you're playing kitchen.
Speaker 1: It would be so cute to hear. And she's like,
Speaker 1: I gotta remember to do that. But moms are so busy.
Speaker 1: They're like, I'm not trying to like make a future
Speaker 1: podcast right now, so I think I'm just trying to survive.
Speaker 2: That also feels like does that also feels like the
Speaker 2: start of a horror movie where you go back and
Speaker 2: you listen to it and then all of a sudden
Speaker 2: you hear like whispers in the background like a demon.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you're like, that's good, you're imaginary friend
Speaker 1: who's really evil? Wait? When have I done that? When
Speaker 1: if I secrets?
Speaker 2: Did at the sphere when I was dancing to you
Speaker 2: two exactly? That was for content. Don't do it?
Speaker 1: What's fun? We had at the speed you know where?
Speaker 2: You know what? You know what? I wish we would have.
Speaker 2: I don't want to say I.
Speaker 1: Don't know what, but I'm going to go to break
Speaker 1: and we're gonna find out right when we get back. Okay,
Speaker 1: we're back.
Speaker 2: What what is it after I just stumbled into brick?
Speaker 2: I don't wish, but it would be nice a moment
Speaker 2: that I would have liked to have recorded that we share. Oh,
Speaker 2: I know you already know which one it is?
Speaker 1: Catchphrase?
Speaker 2: Yes, when we were playing catchphrase.
Speaker 1: I've never made Brian laugh that hard.
Speaker 2: That was the funniest thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 1: That's so funny because I wasn't trying to be funny.
Speaker 2: No, that's why it was so good.
Speaker 1: Sucks, No, it doesn't, it doesn't suck. It just is
Speaker 1: like it as a comedian when you're like, hang, when
Speaker 1: your friends laugh at you, when you're comedian, friends who
Speaker 1: you admire laugh at you, and you say like, and
Speaker 1: they don't let You're like, I don't always crack you
Speaker 1: up in the way that you know.
Speaker 2: I'm a tough laugh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I but I respect it and there's nothing
Speaker 1: wrong with that. But then the time that I do,
Speaker 1: and it's not even intentional, is just like damn, Like okay,
Speaker 1: but it's also makes me feel good because it's like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I guess I'm naturally funny.
Speaker 2: Yes, well absolutely, this was like pure like this was
Speaker 2: like Nicky Glazer heroin funny. This was just like finding
Speaker 2: the cure, finding the.
Speaker 1: Remember what I said, Yeah, I remember exactly what. You
Speaker 1: can catchphrase the game, Brian.
Speaker 2: You can describe it catchphrase is it's like a game
Speaker 2: where you have this disc and it has categories on it,
Speaker 2: and you have to describe the things that pop up
Speaker 2: on the disc without saying the words on the disc,
Speaker 2: and then you pass it around in a circle and
Speaker 2: you can have teams or not. It's sort of like
Speaker 2: heads up. You know heads up.
Speaker 1: Is that where you hold the phone to your phone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you hold the phone up to your head heads
Speaker 2: up kind of destroyed catchphrase because catchphrase was very popular
Speaker 2: in the nineties and early two thousands, and it was
Speaker 2: like this circular disc and it was electronic. Before it
Speaker 2: was electronic, it was like a little paper disc that
Speaker 2: you would actually click and it would go through. And
Speaker 2: the downfall of catchphrase was because it was this electronic
Speaker 2: thing not connected to the internet, it couldn't upgrade, update
Speaker 2: it's works. So then when they came out with apps
Speaker 2: that were a similar game where they could constantly come
Speaker 2: out with new words, catchphrase pretty much went extinct.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, but it's they're funny because they have like
Speaker 1: old references and they're like stuck in an yes and
Speaker 1: then and.
Speaker 2: Then what's funny about it is that you can do.
Speaker 2: One of the categories you can do is decades. You
Speaker 2: can have a bunch of words from the seventies and
Speaker 2: it's like afro and you have to try to get
Speaker 2: people to guess out getting off, getting off.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But then they also had two thousand tens, but this
Speaker 2: catch phrase came out in twenty fourteen, so all the
Speaker 2: twenty tens clues are like, so not twenty tens in
Speaker 2: our mind, Like it's it's.
Speaker 1: They're so all right because they're in the decades, so
Speaker 1: they got.
Speaker 2: In the middle. Yeah, they're like, yeah, what's twenty tens?
Speaker 2: And it's like something very specific from twenty eleven that
Speaker 2: nobody remembers it.
Speaker 1: Like it's like the Harlem Shake or something, and you're like,
Speaker 1: what exactly that was, like the first meme dance, and
Speaker 1: we've all forgotten it was a huge fucking deal at
Speaker 1: the time.
Speaker 2: I've ever forgotten big things, Like I barely remember like
Speaker 2: Gangnam Style. I remember how big that was.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah that.
Speaker 2: Was I mean huge.
Speaker 1: I was like I think the first like YouTube video
Speaker 1: to hit a billion or something like that. Yeah.
Speaker 2: This makes me kind of depressed about like the pastage
Speaker 2: of time because there's so many things like if you
Speaker 2: remember back from the twenty ten's where they seem so
Speaker 2: important and huge at the time, and then you look
Speaker 2: back and like, gagnot.
Speaker 1: It makes me happy. Nothing matters. Well, yeah, you're massive.
Speaker 1: Like if I do something it's a massive failure, everyone
Speaker 1: will forget. It doesn't matter. If it's a win, they'll forget.
Speaker 1: If it's a lose, they'll forget. It's all gonna end
Speaker 1: up on a catchphrase collecting dust. Well, they don't make
Speaker 1: them anymore, so I guess I'll never be on like
Speaker 1: a man made catchpraise. I think I'm probably famous enough
Speaker 1: to be in an app one now, I would hope.
Speaker 2: So are you kidding me? You're way beyond you. You've
Speaker 2: been on Jeopardy, You've had Jeopardy clues in New York
Speaker 2: Times crossword puzzle.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, cross that's true. But catchphraises for dumber people,
Speaker 1: and those are for people. Those other two are people
Speaker 1: paying attention, and catch raises more general and it's like
Speaker 1: more I would say, household names. I don't think I'm
Speaker 1: quite that yet, but I'm okay with that. So we
Speaker 1: were playing catchphrase and we kept getting yelled at by
Speaker 1: the production because they're trying to shoot like you know,
Speaker 1: f Boy Island dates, and we would be like, you know,
Speaker 1: like the screams like we were watching a football game
Speaker 1: and like because the timer would run out and we
Speaker 1: were just screaming.
Speaker 2: But it was me, you hair and makeup, You're who
Speaker 2: you also sometimes get to do hair and makeup now?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Leah locally.
Speaker 2: And then the wardrobe.
Speaker 1: Stacy from wardrobe, whose last name I just had to
Speaker 1: look up because someone asked about her. Stacy, if you're listening,
Speaker 1: I gave your name to someone and I forget her
Speaker 1: last name now, but she's amazing and I love her.
Speaker 2: She's very good. And we were playing catch phrase, tossing
Speaker 2: it around the circle, and like Stacy was sitting on
Speaker 2: the ground, like not really facing us and sort of
Speaker 2: not playing, and but me, you and Leah were.
Speaker 1: Playing, okay.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 2: Stacy tried to interject at one point, but then Leah
Speaker 2: kind of said something over her and she didn't get
Speaker 2: to interject. And then you go, hyuh, so I forgot
Speaker 2: exactly what you said.
Speaker 1: You go, missed your shot or something.
Speaker 2: You go, you you miss your shot, you get trampled,
Speaker 2: bitch razzle dazzles, You get trampled bitch.
Speaker 1: Razzled dazzle. It was yeah, and you like couldn't. It
Speaker 1: was so gratifying. You were laughing so hard for so long.
Speaker 1: It felt like I was that must be like how
Speaker 1: Kurston feels.
Speaker 2: It was.
Speaker 1: It just was so nice, even though I'm comedian and
Speaker 1: I should know what it feels like, but to make
Speaker 1: someone laugh on a thing you have not planned, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: it feels just so amazing.
Speaker 2: So I would like to have that memory recorded, and
Speaker 2: I feel like that that makes me think of like
Speaker 2: a reverse internal sunshine, which is like, wouldn't it be
Speaker 2: nice if you could have like every single moment in
Speaker 2: your life recorded or at least accessible in your brain
Speaker 2: so you can go into a room and be like,
Speaker 2: do you want to act? They did this in Minority Report,
Speaker 2: And I do believe that it's true that every single
Speaker 2: memory that you've ever experienced is in your brain somewhere. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's just the the neuronal pathways to get to it
Speaker 2: are completely desertated.
Speaker 1: But we also remember things the wrong way, so the
Speaker 1: memory not the way it happened.
Speaker 2: Well, you can retrain you can. They called the golden scissors.
Speaker 2: You can retrain your brain to convince yourself that something
Speaker 2: that happened one way happened another way by just continually
Speaker 2: remembering it that way over and over again until the
Speaker 2: fake memory becomes stronger than the actual memory.
Speaker 1: Oh, j Simpson kill his wife and I think he true.
Speaker 2: It's probably true.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I really think he believed it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Souse, you say it enough, you just start to
Speaker 2: and you think it enough. So if you're like, oh,
Speaker 2: Jerry was at that party, Jerry was never at the party.
Speaker 2: But if for ten years you're thinking Jerry was at
Speaker 2: the part, Jerry's at the party, and then you see
Speaker 2: Jerry and you're like, you remember when you're at that party,
Speaker 2: and he was like, I was never at that party.
Speaker 2: I was in Ethiopia on.
Speaker 1: The It's wild when that stuff happens too, Yeah, where
Speaker 1: I'll be like, no, there's no way you weren't and
Speaker 1: they're like, there's no way I was, And here's receipts,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh my god, what the fuck is
Speaker 1: wrong with my brain? Yeah, it's happen a lot. It's disturbing.
Speaker 1: But what event would you Uh, I'm trying to think
Speaker 1: of other events i'd recall. It's all just funny stuff.
Speaker 1: It's all like really funny. You had to be there moments.
Speaker 2: I think that I I mean, this is kind of
Speaker 2: this is kind of cliche, but I would definitely go
Speaker 2: back to my wedding. I would go back to dancing
Speaker 2: at my wedding. Oh, I would go there was there
Speaker 2: was a moment when I was in college where I
Speaker 2: was just like in the it was freshman year, first
Speaker 2: semester of college where I was in like the shared
Speaker 2: shower in the dorm huh. And I was just, for
Speaker 2: some reason so happy and optimistic and excited. It was
Speaker 2: like that college freshman sort of like optimism. I have
Speaker 2: not been able to recover that optimism since then, and
Speaker 2: I remember this moment exactly where I was just in
Speaker 2: the shower and I was like, everything is going so well.
Speaker 2: I love life so much. College is awesome. I love that.
Speaker 2: I'm so hopeful for the future.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you need to smoke weed again.
Speaker 2: I never I haven't felt that way since then.
Speaker 1: This is all leading to yeah.
Speaker 2: Or Another moment was when the store, I uh, when
Speaker 2: I got just for Laughs. I got the I was
Speaker 2: I was coaching an improv group. I walked out I
Speaker 2: got the call, and I was walking down uh Broadway
Speaker 2: on the Upper West Side, and I was just like,
Speaker 2: I got it, and I felt so optimistic. A misled optimism,
Speaker 2: I would say, because getting just for Laughs did absolutely
Speaker 2: nothing for me, but at the time it felt like, God,
Speaker 2: this is so important and amazing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's a nice moment I'm trying to think of.
Speaker 2: I would relive the roast. Oh, watching you crush up
Speaker 2: there was like winning.
Speaker 1: Why wouldn't I relive it? I just wanted to stay there.
Speaker 1: That's interesting. I wouldn't want to relive anything. I'd want
Speaker 1: to maybe watch I could watch The Ross. I could
Speaker 1: watch that again. I think it does exist.
Speaker 2: I haven't watched it.
Speaker 1: It's I I really haven't. I sent a couple of
Speaker 1: clips and stuff, but I lived it, so I'm just like,
Speaker 1: I'm not interested, and it's there's nothing I can do.
Speaker 1: Watching it is only I would only watch it if
Speaker 1: I had to edit it, and I don't even want
Speaker 1: to do that. But but I will say that I
Speaker 1: I would just like to go back in everyone and
Speaker 1: my friends and like my parents and like my the
Speaker 1: lives of the people. I love to see the moment
Speaker 1: they saw their husband or wife for the first time,
Speaker 1: or like what what like I.
Speaker 2: Love I love.
Speaker 1: Hearing stories of like how people met, or like when
Speaker 1: they both knew, or the moment like it turned romantic.
Speaker 1: Like I watched a clip of Freddy Prince Junior talking
Speaker 1: about him and Sarah Michelle Geller starting out his friends
Speaker 1: and then becoming romantic when they went on. They were
Speaker 1: like just friends hanging out for two years and they
Speaker 1: were not into each other, and then they went out
Speaker 1: with another friend. They were supposed to go out with
Speaker 1: another friend. That friend didn't show up, and then it
Speaker 1: ended up being a date, and then on that date,
Speaker 1: they drank enough that they were kind of like, this
Speaker 1: is romantic, and then it was that like I love
Speaker 1: those like moments where they like it turns romantic. And
Speaker 1: you know, that's why I've asked to hear your story
Speaker 1: of meeting Ali for the first time so many times. Afie,
Speaker 1: I feel like I know the origin. You saw pictures
Speaker 1: of him online before you.
Speaker 3: No, No, it's actually similar to Freddie Prince and Sarah
Speaker 3: Michelle Geller. We became we were friends through the metal scene.
Speaker 3: Oh and he came to a podcast that I was on,
Speaker 3: and at first I was just like not interested. We
Speaker 3: just were acquaintances for maybe I think eight years before
Speaker 3: we started dating.
Speaker 1: And then I was on the Racy's Insane. I don't
Speaker 1: know this, and I actually was at one point.
Speaker 3: I met him for the first time in twenty through
Speaker 3: a friend. Was not interested. He was in a relationship,
Speaker 3: but I was in a relationship. You know, didn't really
Speaker 3: is that why you weren't interested? Or was there like
Speaker 3: you clocked it? Uh? I thought he was cute, but
Speaker 3: I was just like, Ugh, I do not want to
Speaker 3: date the frontman of any band. I was into the
Speaker 3: guitar players at that point. So funny, so stupid, even
Speaker 3: though I found.
Speaker 1: Out recently that Noah was like truly in love with
Speaker 1: a front man of a band named Axel Rose. Oh,
Speaker 1: you told my secret. I didn't know. It was a
Speaker 1: very It was sorry.
Speaker 3: You can take it out if you don't want no, No,
Speaker 3: it's fine, I don't care you.
Speaker 1: She loved guns and roses separate story, but let's just
Speaker 1: go back to Avie for a Secondeah, but she did.
Speaker 1: She wasn't like the way I am with Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1: She was with Axel Rose. She used to buy magazines.
Speaker 1: This is the cutest detail. I'm sorry, Noah. She was
Speaker 1: to buy they She saved her for money. This high
Speaker 1: school or middle school.
Speaker 3: This was definitely high school where he was on the
Speaker 3: cover of Spin magazine. And it wasn't even like a
Speaker 3: recent photo of it was like an older one.
Speaker 1: Sure.
Speaker 3: I put it in a large ziploc bag, and whenever
Speaker 3: I would look through it, I would use tweezers.
Speaker 1: Tweezers wanted to Honestly, it's done the same thing. If
Speaker 1: I had thought of that a brilliant idea with Dave
Speaker 1: Matthew's band Rolling Stone. I used to do the same
Speaker 1: kind of show ossion, so okay, But anyway, an ave
Speaker 1: not interested in him in that way. And then we
Speaker 1: were on You Up together and we were talking about
Speaker 1: the book getting too I do. And that's when I
Speaker 1: kind of just like saw him on Instagram after years
Speaker 1: of not really paying attention to him, and then I
Speaker 1: messaged him and I did the book and I got
Speaker 1: to ida, oh my god, so you what do you
Speaker 1: remember the picture you saw? Do you remember? Like it
Speaker 1: was such a stupid picture too.
Speaker 3: It was just like him in a photo with a
Speaker 3: mutual friend and he was holding a beer bottle. He
Speaker 3: was at a wedding, and I was like, oh, he
Speaker 3: looks so cute. I wonder what he's up to. And
Speaker 3: then I went to his profile was private, and I
Speaker 3: was like, oh, well, I got a lot of good
Speaker 3: things going on. I'm going to send him a request.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: It was one of those guys care that you have
Speaker 1: a lot of good things, you know, they don't care.
Speaker 1: That was before you read the book and knew that
Speaker 1: they don't care. They don't care.
Speaker 3: He just wanted to see hot photos of me and yeah.
Speaker 3: And then we went on our first date in Brooklyn.
Speaker 3: I think we went to first so I let him
Speaker 3: choose the place.
Speaker 1: It was a bar.
Speaker 3: We went to the bar and I didn't drink, so
Speaker 3: he's like, Okay, I get you a drink. I'm like,
Speaker 3: I'll just take a Seltzer. And then when he realized
Speaker 3: that I don't drink, he's like, oh, this is probably
Speaker 3: not fun for you. Do you want to go get
Speaker 3: something to eat? Then we went to Buttermilk in Brooklyn
Speaker 3: and then we just started talking about everything and we're
Speaker 3: like and I just was like, oh my god, we
Speaker 3: have so much in common.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's what I'd want footage of, is a
Speaker 1: first date. I like the first date because it's like
Speaker 1: before both these people are, they have no idea they're
Speaker 1: going to and the rest of their lives together. Sure,
Speaker 1: it's so interesting.
Speaker 2: It's also a key uh, A key veteran date move
Speaker 2: is to if it's going well, try to change locations
Speaker 2: at least once. That's that's how you get you get
Speaker 2: confirmation that that, oh, this is actually.
Speaker 1: An indicator of interest that a girl.
Speaker 2: If you go, yeah, if you go, if you're if
Speaker 2: you start off at a bar and you' getting a
Speaker 2: drink and you said you want to get something to eat.
Speaker 2: Then you and they say if they say yes, then
Speaker 2: you're like, okay, this is this.
Speaker 1: I loved when that would happen on dates where it
Speaker 1: was going well and you both would feel it and
Speaker 1: you'd be like, should we just keep paying out? It's like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: same page. Yes, it's so nice. That's such a fun feeling.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think that's That's really what I'd be interested in
Speaker 1: is is seeing You're.
Speaker 2: Not interested in seeing your own memories. You want to
Speaker 2: see other people's memories. Yeah, you just want to you
Speaker 2: want a recording of everything on earth.
Speaker 1: Even with Chris and I. I would I would kind
Speaker 1: of like to see I would like to see the
Speaker 1: look on my face after the moment I knew that
Speaker 1: I was going to pursue him and like he was
Speaker 1: gonna be mine, because I remember when I found out
Speaker 1: it was because he like I'd already kind of like
Speaker 1: noticed him, and then I found out he didn't drink,
Speaker 1: and then I found out he made a video that
Speaker 1: he didn't need to make just to make the host laugh.
Speaker 1: And when I found when they when I go who
Speaker 1: made that video and they said Chris Convey from the
Speaker 1: Darkness because I was on stage and they said Chris Convy.
Speaker 1: I just would I'm sure it's like, actually, I'm sure
Speaker 1: there's a video of it somewhere because I was on camera,
Speaker 1: but we were stopped down, so I don't think the
Speaker 1: cameras were rolling.
Speaker 2: But I just.
Speaker 1: Remember being like I almost I probably even nodded, like
Speaker 1: and that is going to be my new mission, Like
Speaker 1: I knew it. It's confirmed. He's amazing. Yep, that's my guy.
Speaker 1: That would be fun to see.
Speaker 3: Sure, did you hide you're dating when you work together?
Speaker 3: Did you guys hide that you were dating at first? Oh? Yeah?
Speaker 1: And there's nothing fucking otter. That's why being Mormon is
Speaker 1: so hot. Like that's why being like any kind of
Speaker 1: like I got to that and kind of like to
Speaker 1: a leap too far, but like that's why, that's why
Speaker 1: there's like porn around like Mormon and step step siblings
Speaker 1: because it's taboo and it's not allowed, and so it
Speaker 1: makes it so much hotter. So yeah, we were sneaking around.
Speaker 1: We Yeah, we had a lot of fun and it
Speaker 1: was all driven by Moah. It was definitely it was.
Speaker 1: It was fun, but it was like we did some
Speaker 1: people didn't know, and we didn't do anything that would
Speaker 1: have like really gotten us in trouble. I say, so
Speaker 1: we don't get in trouble, but like right, I mean
Speaker 1: we did some really like I was. I was a
Speaker 1: sexual deviate for sure.
Speaker 2: I am.
Speaker 1: I put a fucking gummy worn in my vagina. I
Speaker 1: can be very weird when I'm in the beginning of
Speaker 1: a relationship and things are horny, like I get, I
Speaker 1: get pretty creative. So we had some really fun moments.
Speaker 1: But no, people didn't know, but they did. He didn't
Speaker 1: tell fucking anyone because he like doesn't need to do
Speaker 1: that kind of stuff. But I everyone knew that I
Speaker 1: was like in love with him before we were even together.
Speaker 1: So when we got together, they all knew. And then
Speaker 1: I would just and then I and I would just
Speaker 1: blush and I would just he would leave a room.
Speaker 1: I was so in love with him. When he didn't know,
Speaker 1: he thought I hated him. He would like leave the
Speaker 1: room and I would like fall on the floor and
Speaker 1: like make a big thing. Everyone knew. Everyone knew except him.
Speaker 1: So it was when we got together, Yes, we had
Speaker 1: to keep it secret. And then I was like the
Speaker 1: second week kissed, I was like, let's tell everyone we're together.
Speaker 1: Like I didn't say that, but I would have, but
Speaker 1: I had learned by then to not be like that
Speaker 1: and just be like play cool. See when he tells people,
Speaker 1: which would have been fucking never's people still wouldn't know
Speaker 1: if it were up to him. But uh, but yeah,
Speaker 1: eventually we got to be out with it. I don't
Speaker 1: think it was like a we have to announce this
Speaker 1: to everyone or anything like that. It just like kind
Speaker 1: of naturally had just show up to places together and
Speaker 1: then people kind of I think it just word got
Speaker 1: out because the people I told told people, and then
Speaker 1: it just trickled down and then I think it was
Speaker 1: never something we had to announce because then the show
Speaker 1: was canceled before that happened. Yeah, it was. It's so fun.
Speaker 1: It's and people are always like kind of have to
Speaker 1: tiptoe around talking about office romances because there is a
Speaker 1: power imbalance oftentimes involved. That's how people meet.
Speaker 2: Sometimes you have to disclose to HR relationship.
Speaker 1: Now, yeah, we didn't tell mtv HR at the time.
Speaker 1: Carson Dally, whoever it was that was leading that branch. No,
Speaker 1: we didn't.
Speaker 2: We didn't tell anyone. Wherever you work at MTV, you
Speaker 2: have to tell Carson Dale your relationship status.
Speaker 1: I'm sure there is a protocol for that, but I
Speaker 1: don't begrudge anyone meeting at work. That's how you fucking
Speaker 1: meet and when people most of your time exactly.
Speaker 2: Ali has a saying, Uh, don't get your honey where
Speaker 2: you get your money.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's better than don't ship where you eat or
Speaker 1: whatever people say. That makes me just like so.
Speaker 2: Showing people's mouths and then ask him for a paycheck,
Speaker 2: I think.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I hate, I hate, don't you Okay, So don't
Speaker 1: get your honey where you get your money. I'll tell
Speaker 1: you though, when you're getting the honey where you get
Speaker 1: your money. It makes going to work so much fun.
Speaker 1: Oh my dear God. When during the U up days, man,
Speaker 1: when I would have a crush come in, there's nothing
Speaker 1: better than I would like inter Like a guy would
Speaker 1: be booked to come in and like I would be
Speaker 1: interviewing him and like there's already been a vibe because
Speaker 1: we would just have comedians on and I was single
Speaker 1: at the time, and so that would be so I
Speaker 1: would be skipping to fucking work that day when there's
Speaker 1: gonna be like a romance, like it's having a crush
Speaker 1: is the best feeling, like butterflies for someone is great,
Speaker 1: and I have it for Chris sometimes, Like we haven't
Speaker 1: seen each other for a really long time, so recently
Speaker 1: when we've been talking it's been like, oh hi, oh
Speaker 1: my god, you're such a cutie. Like there's been a
Speaker 1: lot of yes, it will never be what it was.
Speaker 1: That part of our relationship has died forever. It will
Speaker 1: never be as and as electric they please, I'm craving it, but.
Speaker 2: No, we've done something.
Speaker 1: I think that's what roleplay works to.
Speaker 2: Sure that helps, But to get chemically infatuated would be
Speaker 2: would be something worth pharmaceutical companies pursuer.
Speaker 1: I've always said that if they could sell, if there
Speaker 1: was a drug that made you feel the way it
Speaker 1: feels to have a crush, I would be on skid row.
Speaker 1: And there's no question about it. I'm lucky that I
Speaker 1: don't get crushes easily. I think they're called love addicts.
Speaker 1: I think I'm a love addict that is just too
Speaker 1: picky to have gotten like to a bad place with it.
Speaker 1: But I absolutely love the feeling of having a crush
Speaker 1: so much and and then I like, I recently felt
Speaker 1: there was something that reminded me of it that I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, there was some It was like an
Speaker 1: a an album or something that felt crush like in
Speaker 1: my infatuation with it. And then something I got rejected
Speaker 1: by it in some way recently, and the feeling came
Speaker 1: back to me of like when you like someone and
Speaker 1: they don't like you, and it's on the other side
Speaker 1: of the crush feeling is a devastation, oh yeahd of
Speaker 1: rejection or a loss when you just know a crush
Speaker 1: isn't gonna work out. One time, this guy, I like,
Speaker 1: we had been back and forth so many times, and
Speaker 1: I thought there was like a vibe between us, and
Speaker 1: fucking Ian Fidance was like there was I felt, Nikki,
Speaker 1: he totally isn't you. And so he's like send him
Speaker 1: a text like make it happen tonight, just say what
Speaker 1: like is on your mind now. He's like tell him
Speaker 1: the truth, and I like wrote him like you looked
Speaker 1: cute tonight, or like I took it like we were
Speaker 1: like friends again after having been romantic, and then it
Speaker 1: was like we were just friends now. But I was
Speaker 1: like are we though I still like him, so I
Speaker 1: wrote like you look cute tonight, and he instantly called
Speaker 1: me and was like, Nikki, no, this is never gonna
Speaker 1: happen again. This door is like he pretty much was like,
Speaker 1: this door is shut. Like he was very nice about it,
Speaker 1: so honestly, so nice about it. But it felt horrible.
Speaker 1: It's so embarrassing to get rejected. But it happens to
Speaker 1: people all the time.
Speaker 2: It's like it's very common.
Speaker 1: You can't not in life. You have to do yourself
Speaker 1: out there. Nicki no. I thought he was picking up
Speaker 1: the phone to be like, let's do it, meet me
Speaker 1: on the corner, and it's like nicky no. He literally
Speaker 1: goes nicky no, like bad girl, and I'm like, oh man,
Speaker 1: that's the opposite of what turns me on. No, what
Speaker 1: were you.
Speaker 3: Gonna say, Well, I was going to say that I
Speaker 3: don't like. I mean, it's only one time that I
Speaker 3: had to be on the other end of that the
Speaker 3: person being like blah blah blah, no, we're not doing this. Yes,
Speaker 3: it was so uncomfortable, but I have to say it
Speaker 3: like propelled our friendship to this other branch and now
Speaker 3: it's like someone who I'm so close with Yeah, he's
Speaker 3: one of my dearest friends.
Speaker 1: I've been I've been the no it's never gonna happen,
Speaker 1: and I've It's led to some great friendships too. I
Speaker 1: can't recall any of them because they all fell off
Speaker 1: as soon as I no. Actually, one of one of
Speaker 1: my closest friends who I won't reveal, uh, used to
Speaker 1: have a crush on me, and it was to the
Speaker 1: point where it was like, I can't do this anymore,
Speaker 1: Like I can't talk about my life with you, because
Speaker 1: you seem to be so angry that you know, like
Speaker 1: when you're a girl, you want to talk about guys,
Speaker 1: even to your guy friends, even though they're bored by it,
Speaker 1: but at least they're not angry about it. But this
Speaker 1: guy would get like you could. I could just tell
Speaker 1: it's hurting him. And and now it's like so much
Speaker 1: time has passed that it's I don't even consider that
Speaker 1: we had to go do our separate things. But now
Speaker 1: it's like that was weird different people, and we were.
Speaker 1: That's the truth of it, is that and I think
Speaker 1: I could be friends with the Thing is, though, you
Speaker 1: just don't become friends with men when everyone's partnered up.
Speaker 1: You don't make new male friendships. Sorry, ladies, you don't
Speaker 1: get it. Like you can get the you can get there,
Speaker 1: you can be grandfathered in. Yeah, but you're not making
Speaker 1: you're not making new friends. And it's not because of
Speaker 1: your jealous boyfriend. It's sometimes because of their jealous partner.
Speaker 1: But it's also sometimes not because of either of those.
Speaker 1: It's just like, it's rare if it happens. I'll say that,
Speaker 1: but I just don't think. I don't think it's happening.
Speaker 2: New friends sus I certainly don't have any new female
Speaker 2: friends that aren't like my friend's wife.
Speaker 1: Here's a great point that I'm going to frustrate people about.
Speaker 1: But I've thought this through a lot. I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: to break and i'll tell you after that. Here's the thing.
Speaker 1: When you are two people of the opposite sex and
Speaker 1: you're both straight and your best friends or good friends
Speaker 1: or whatever, and then one of you gets a partner,
Speaker 1: it's weird when you tell the It's just it's a
Speaker 1: little bit weird to go hang out with that friend
Speaker 1: and tell the partner like, I'm not hanging out with you,
Speaker 1: I'm going to hang out with this other guy or
Speaker 1: vice versa. Right, I'm gonna I'm not hanging out with
Speaker 1: you girlfriend. I'm gonna go hang out with this girl
Speaker 1: who's my friend that I hung out with before we
Speaker 1: were together. But and then she's like, but and if
Speaker 1: you don't invite them, it seems like you're doing something naughty,
Speaker 1: even though if it was another girlfriend, your boyfriend wouldn't
Speaker 1: give a fuck, and he'd be he'd be glad not
Speaker 1: to be invited, and we want to go. That's fine. Okay,
Speaker 1: So that's fine, that's fine. You're a friend, two friends,
Speaker 1: opposite sex, both straight, and now this guy got a girlfriend.
Speaker 1: Now this girl to hang out with. This guy must
Speaker 1: always now hang out with the girlfriend in order to
Speaker 1: hang out with the guy. Other otherwise it's sus and
Speaker 1: the girlfriend's gonna start hating you. But sometimes and you
Speaker 1: might love the girlfriend honestly, she might be great. And
Speaker 1: I'm I'm people are just are maybe gonna try to
Speaker 1: be like. This is about Andrew Brett. This is not
Speaker 1: about this is I've formed this opinion long before anything.
Speaker 1: It's and even before Chris, like in me making new
Speaker 1: guy friends sometimes though you I don't know, no if
Speaker 1: I you and I are hanging out and you were like,
Speaker 1: I have to bring AV. I'd be like, what, I
Speaker 1: like AVI, but I like our dynamic. It's what I'm
Speaker 1: used to, and like we're gonna talk in a different
Speaker 1: way than I'm gonna talk around your fucking partner. And
Speaker 1: that's not because I don't like him or when I
Speaker 1: hang out with him. But imagine but friends that are
Speaker 1: male and female, they can't ever hang out without the
Speaker 1: partner being there. And you might go, well, what's wrong
Speaker 1: with the partner being there? Here's what's wrong. It just
Speaker 1: changes the dynamic. It's nothing against the partner. It's just
Speaker 1: like you never get your old you never get your
Speaker 1: old dynamic again unless they're out of town, which then
Speaker 1: feels like sneaky for a reason it shouldn't be.
Speaker 3: I used to be guilty of this, like I would
Speaker 3: bring my boyfriend everywhere. This is like when I was
Speaker 3: really young in relationships and didn't know any better. But
Speaker 3: I think through Ester Perel and her like thought and stuff, like,
Speaker 3: I realize you you need to have your autonomy. You
Speaker 3: gotta have your own friendships. You can't have your partner
Speaker 3: and everything that you do. It's just like they can't
Speaker 3: be everything for you. That's how you need other people.
Speaker 3: But I think it's rare.
Speaker 1: It is look down upon to hang out with a
Speaker 1: man alone when your boyfriend is available to hang right
Speaker 1: and you, and vice versa. It looks like something fishy
Speaker 1: might be having, and vice versa. It just is weird
Speaker 1: and it shouldn't be, but it is. And Chris, I
Speaker 1: do think it just speaks to how secure you are
Speaker 1: in your relationship and no offense to people that get
Speaker 1: jealous of that. Like I, I think that if you
Speaker 1: I don't care if Chris hangs out with a girl.
Speaker 1: I know everyone knows that I don't even care if
Speaker 1: he would to be doing other things with a girl.
Speaker 1: But I Chris also doesn't care if I hang out
Speaker 1: with male friends that I was friends with before. If
Speaker 1: I made a new male friend, he might be like
Speaker 1: what I And that's kinda sucks because I like being
Speaker 1: friends with men. But it's not because of Chris. It's society.
Speaker 1: It's not Chris.
Speaker 2: I mean, I've I've hung out with friend girls that
Speaker 2: are friends that are that I was friends with before. Ali.
Speaker 2: I'll go to a lunch with like my friend Christina
Speaker 2: and we'll just chat or or.
Speaker 1: Is aally at work or is Ali free on this
Speaker 1: Saturday to also go to.
Speaker 2: This lunch She's free. I don't think it's a problem.
Speaker 2: Like Chris has his friend Nick sometimes with Nick.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I'm saying and I don't care, but I'm different.
Speaker 1: I'm saying that more people need to get on. I'm
Speaker 1: not trying to be like I'm the cool girl, because
Speaker 1: I know it comes across like that, like I'm different
Speaker 1: than our god. But I do think that it should
Speaker 1: be allowed more. I will say, if he made a
Speaker 1: new girlfriend at least and.
Speaker 2: Then and then you're like, I don't want to be there.
Speaker 2: I've got a girlfriend.
Speaker 1: Got a stitch razzle dazzle.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you're I think it depends on the hang.
Speaker 2: Like if you're like, I'm gonna go watch a movie
Speaker 2: at her place, that's fu. Yeah, no, that's not go
Speaker 2: to lunch with this person who's also maybe in your
Speaker 2: industry too, Like that's I feel like, totally.
Speaker 1: Okay, but industry No. Then you're making something it about work,
Speaker 1: and you're excusing that friendships can only exist that there's
Speaker 1: work involved. But that's not true. People should be able
Speaker 1: to be friends with the opposite sex and still be
Speaker 1: attracted to the opposite sex and not be accused of
Speaker 1: being attracted to that person and be able to have
Speaker 1: an independent friendship. And I believe that I do. I
Speaker 1: honestly do think that I have that with Chris. And
Speaker 1: if I didn't meet a new guy that I wanted
Speaker 1: to be friends with, Chris would be friends with him
Speaker 1: because Chris is fun to hang out with me hard.
Speaker 1: I just answered my own question, final thought.
Speaker 2: I have a final thought? Can I say a final thought?
Speaker 2: Because I'd be to Utah or Noah's thing.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: So I saw Axel Rose last week. No, you did not,
Speaker 2: I did. I saw Axel Rose last week. So I
Speaker 2: went to the Intuit Dome to see Billy Joel. My
Speaker 2: second time seeing Billy Joel. He's my Taylor Swift. I'm
Speaker 2: going to see the third time. I'm going to see
Speaker 2: Billy Jil a third time in Vegas in just a
Speaker 2: couple of weeks.
Speaker 1: That's so exciting. Billy Joel was actually at the Miami
Speaker 1: show that I was at and went backstage in Matt
Speaker 1: Taylor really kids. Yeah, there's a picture I saw last night.
Speaker 2: So caute, pretticable.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So Billy Joel had a couple of special guests come
Speaker 2: out during the show. One of them. It's just it's
Speaker 2: so funny because one of them was John Mayer. And
Speaker 2: I've seen John Mayer make a surprise special guest appearance
Speaker 2: at four different concerts now and one time at the
Speaker 2: Comedy Seller.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, see that's a non married man.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there you go. He played a good guitar solo.
Speaker 2: But me and Ali were just like, I cannot fucking
Speaker 2: believe it's John Mayer because when he's like, we got
Speaker 2: a very special guest, I'm like, who are we going
Speaker 2: to see? I'm surprised he didn't come out. Did you
Speaker 2: come out of the super Bowl? No? He didn't.
Speaker 1: Right now, this is gonna be a fun thing for
Speaker 1: you guys. It's got the next time it happens, You're gonna.
Speaker 2: Go four times it's John May.
Speaker 1: Like you'll say it together.
Speaker 2: With the person Billy Joel.
Speaker 1: Wow? What did they sing together or play together? Sorry?
Speaker 2: A Billy Joel song? I forgot which one. But then
Speaker 2: he brought out a second special guest to sing live
Speaker 2: and let die Paul McCartney's song for Fun I Know,
Speaker 2: and the special guest was Axel Rose to sing it.
Speaker 1: I thought you were gonna say Paul McCartney.
Speaker 2: That would have been better.
Speaker 1: But it's really cool.
Speaker 2: I know, it's really cool.
Speaker 1: That song rules. And I bet Axel fucking tore that
Speaker 1: song up.
Speaker 2: Yeah he did a good job, he was. Yeah, he
Speaker 2: did a good job.
Speaker 1: It's like in his range or it used to. We
Speaker 1: used to be in his range. I'm sure.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it wasn't quite like you know, Guns n' Roses
Speaker 2: era singing, but it was still.
Speaker 1: Billy Joel's voice amazing still just side.
Speaker 2: I can't believe it. Yeah, it's like amazing. One of
Speaker 2: my favorite bands to go would would be to ever
Speaker 2: go see it would be Simon and Garfunkel. But I
Speaker 2: know if I saw Simon and Garfunkle, now I'd be like, mah,
Speaker 2: the vocals just aren't hitting the mark that because they're so.
Speaker 1: Vocal, right, So about the vocals, Yes.
Speaker 2: Billy Joel. I was worried before I went to see
Speaker 2: him the first time that his voice would not match
Speaker 2: the recordings. And it's like it's not just as good,
Speaker 2: but it's pretty close.
Speaker 1: That's incredible.
Speaker 2: He puts on a show.
Speaker 1: It's that's awesome and yuh, what when you when you
Speaker 1: hear that he saw Axel ros Does that send your
Speaker 1: heart a flutter? Like do you still get like it doesn't?
Speaker 1: Over it? I'm so over it. After meeting him, I
Speaker 1: snuckating him.
Speaker 3: Yes, I snuck into Madison Square Garden when he came back.
Speaker 3: Uh you know, like the the Fake Guns and Roses
Speaker 3: band back in like two thousand something. I snuck in
Speaker 3: backstage mid amount of party. And after that it just
Speaker 3: like I was like, I don't care about this guy anymore.
Speaker 3: Why was I obsessed with what? It's not anything he did.
Speaker 3: He was very nice to you, right, he was very
Speaker 3: nice to me. But it was just like this this
Speaker 3: person that I was, I was craving him so badly.
Speaker 3: And then once you satisfy the craving, you meet them
Speaker 3: and then I was just, oh.
Speaker 1: God, someone so badly like that, I mean obsessed, And
Speaker 1: I got to hook up with him, and I remember
Speaker 1: it was it's unreal like teenage annisy uh not literally yeah, teenage.
Speaker 1: It was like probably nineteen twenty were the ages where
Speaker 1: I was so lovely? Was nineteen twenty, nineteen twenty, It's
Speaker 1: about nineteen twenty, the golden age that was my teenage fantasy.
Speaker 1: I was either nineteen or twenty and I was desperately
Speaker 1: in love.
Speaker 2: With Charlie Chaplin.
Speaker 1: No, it was, and look at me. I can't think
Speaker 1: of a single other person that is the nice famous
Speaker 1: in nineteen twenty Wait, hold on, let me see if
Speaker 1: I can get it. Hold on, Buster Keaton.
Speaker 2: I mean I think, yeah, Buster Keaton, I think so.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's fine. Okay, that was good. That
Speaker 1: was good. Good job nickey.
Speaker 2: Yeah he was the general in nineteen twenty six.
Speaker 1: Fuck yes, Damous, I nailed it.
Speaker 2: You totally make castle.
Speaker 1: So uh but yeah, I remember I got I hook
Speaker 1: up with him. I like found a way to make
Speaker 1: it happen. And this wasn't someone that was just so
Speaker 1: extraordinarily famous or anything, but he was like enough of
Speaker 1: a star that I could really like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: if I ever And I did, and I remember just
Speaker 1: in the middle of it, not even the middle, the
Speaker 1: very being in being literally saying in my mind as
Speaker 1: if I was filming a movie, this is it, like in.
Speaker 2: That test like the Boyhood the end of is it
Speaker 2: Boyhood movies?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Really at the end those ones where it's like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I think it's Boyhood, where the mom at the end
Speaker 2: it's an incredible scene where she's at the end of
Speaker 2: her she's in her sixties or something, and she goes,
Speaker 2: this is it, Like she's not happy, even though then
Speaker 2: they should that she inspired all these people and stuff,
Speaker 2: but she's still not satisfied.
Speaker 1: No, it was just filming the office, and it was
Speaker 1: like I did a look to camera like Jim like
Speaker 1: want to do this. I remember being so self aware.
Speaker 1: I remember every single second and moment of that hookup
Speaker 1: because it's to become like, oh, this is I can't
Speaker 1: believe the pedestal I had this person on. It was awesome.
Speaker 2: It was and the story round is so odd. Obviously
Speaker 2: you cannot say who it is. No, but is there
Speaker 2: any little crumb for speculation.
Speaker 1: Already given dates? I've already given dates, and that's enough
Speaker 1: for people to probably like, like, your sleuthing will not
Speaker 1: give you the answer because I'm not. I'm I'm not
Speaker 1: going to give you enough that you will ever be
Speaker 1: able to like actually validate it. So no, no more information.
Speaker 1: If you piece together every podcast I've done in my
Speaker 1: whole life, you can probably AI could probably scan other
Speaker 1: podcasts and put together this person. But but I just remember,
Speaker 1: and it wasn't because this person was like a terrible
Speaker 1: hookup or something. It just and I think we've all
Speaker 1: felt that in ways where we like romanticize what it
Speaker 1: would be like to kiss this person than you do,
Speaker 1: and you're just like, this isn't like it.
Speaker 2: I was.
Speaker 1: I was living flea bag.
Speaker 2: Yeah right, yeah, Well how dangerous would it have been
Speaker 2: if they did me the moment and they blew your
Speaker 2: fucking mind?
Speaker 1: Oh well, I've also had that where I've with Chris.
Speaker 1: It was like that because and Chris I had was
Speaker 1: obsessed with, like in a way that like the same
Speaker 1: part of me that loves Taylor Swift like crushes on guys,
Speaker 1: like it's I get as obsessive and like detail oriented
Speaker 1: and like did you hear him say this? And then
Speaker 1: he's like I like to like I'm a swiftief in
Speaker 1: every part of my life when I get into something,
Speaker 1: And so with Chris, I had fantasized about it and
Speaker 1: thought about it so many fucking times. And I knew,
Speaker 1: based on my whole existence, that I would always build
Speaker 1: up these crushes and then I would finally get with them,
Speaker 1: and then I would instantly be like I don't like
Speaker 1: this anymore. Yeah, But with Chris. It was. It was
Speaker 1: so hot, it was so on, it was so exciting,
Speaker 1: it was so electric. It was everything I wanted to be.
Speaker 1: That's why as soon as we kissed, I jumped into
Speaker 1: a cab. He was like, I didn't even know, like
Speaker 1: what was going on because you were in a cab
Speaker 1: so fast after we kissed, because I didn't want anything
Speaker 1: to ruin the moment and like take me out of it.
Speaker 1: I was just like I got what I wanted. This
Speaker 1: is the ties I'm gonna get and I can't get
Speaker 1: any higher. And yeah. And then I also think though
Speaker 1: that the reason I kept liking him even after we
Speaker 1: hooked up was because and the reason I used to
Speaker 1: not like guys when we would hook up is because
Speaker 1: I would be like, oh, he likes me, and like
Speaker 1: this is boring now. And I don't think Chris liked
Speaker 1: me right away. And I think deep down I knew that,
Speaker 1: and I think he would admit that, like he was
Speaker 1: still a challenge for me, and so I'm still interested.
Speaker 1: It took me many years, I would say, until May
Speaker 1: of twenty twenty four, until I was like willing to
Speaker 1: accept that it's very comfortable to have someone love you
Speaker 1: and not have to be like pursuing them and just
Speaker 1: like let it in. And that's all I'll say on that,
Speaker 1: And we'll find out about Utah next week. And also
Speaker 1: some the Bessie slid into your DMS. Noah, Yes, can
Speaker 1: I just answer it real quick? Sure? So basically I
Speaker 1: got a DM from Kelsey and she wanted me to
Speaker 1: let you know. She's a huge bestie.
Speaker 3: She's been to like twelve of your shows and her
Speaker 3: and her friend Lauren are going to your Memphis show
Speaker 3: and Lauren is having a divorce party and she's celebrating
Speaker 3: her divorce.
Speaker 1: So we want to see we got that's so exciting. Congratulations.
Speaker 1: It's so hard to divorce, it's so easy to just stay.
Speaker 2: It's so much to go through. We would say there's
Speaker 2: no such thing as a bad divorce.
Speaker 1: That's such a good, good line. It's so good, and
Speaker 1: it's so hard to do. You're so strong to go
Speaker 1: through it and to leap into the unknown and also
Speaker 1: feel like a failure. That's you know what. Whoe Okay,
Speaker 1: hold the fucking phone. I just uncovered something. Weddings are
Speaker 1: so over the top to discourage you from divorcing because
Speaker 1: it is so embarrassing to throw a ceremony where you
Speaker 1: declare your love to everyone you know, and you spend
Speaker 1: all of this money and you rent out this venue
Speaker 1: and you hire a band and you have fly in
Speaker 1: people from all over, even sickle Grandma, and then you
Speaker 1: throw it all away. What was all that for? That's embarrassing?
Speaker 1: You are? You're an idiot that you just did all that.
Speaker 1: They are purposely designed to discourage people from divorcing. I
Speaker 1: truly believe that shames you. Yes, it's part of the church.
Speaker 1: We'll design a wedding an event that makes it so
Speaker 1: you feel like this is so locked in and you'll
Speaker 1: be humiliated to then take it all.
Speaker 2: Back before your government, before your god.
Speaker 1: Guys, go easy on your weddings out there. Yeah, make
Speaker 1: it so that if you take it back and a
Speaker 1: couple of years, like you don't have to stay any
Speaker 1: Because some people have a wedding and I think they
Speaker 1: won out within two months, but they go, I got
Speaker 1: at least wait a year, And then a year they're like,
Speaker 1: it's still too soon. It feels weird. We just got
Speaker 1: the pictures back, because pictures take forever to get back.
Speaker 1: And then they checks and then they say two years.
Speaker 1: Because usually when I ask people about their divorce and
Speaker 1: I go, how long did you stay? They go, I
Speaker 1: was married for seven years, but uh divorce And I go,
Speaker 1: so it was good for two years and they're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: oh it's never It was good the seven years and
Speaker 1: then we called it quits. Ever ever, So good on
Speaker 1: you for finally pulling the plug. I'll see you in Memphis.
Speaker 1: Thanks for plugging that date too for me. I don't
Speaker 1: know when I'm gonna be there, but it's gonna be
Speaker 1: a fun night. And I hope I remember, Noah, I hope. Uh,
Speaker 1: if you could remember, remind me. Sure to make me
Speaker 1: say something that night at that show. That'd be fun.
Speaker 1: I'm on the road, guys. So many new tour dates announced,
Speaker 1: so exciting, so many new places. I'm going to check
Speaker 1: it out. Nicki Glazer dot com. Come see me on tour.
Speaker 1: You know I love when I meet you. Thank you
Speaker 1: so much for listening to podcast. I love you, besties,
Speaker 1: Thanks Brian, Thanks Noah, don't be good bye. The Nicki
Speaker 1: Glazer Podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money
Speaker 1: Players and iHeart Podcasts, created and hosted by me Nicki
Speaker 1: Glazer co hosted by Brian Frangie, Executive produced by Will Ferrell,
Speaker 1: Hans Sonny and Noah Avior. Edited it engineered by Lean
Speaker 1: and Loaf, video production Mark Canton, and music by Anya Marina.
Speaker 1: You can now watch full episodes of the Nicki Glazer
Speaker 1: Podcast on YouTube, follow at Niki Glazer Pod and subscribe
Speaker 1: to our channel