1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:04,400 Speaker 1: Welcome one and all to the Professional Homegirl Podcast. Before 2 00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:06,680 Speaker 1: we begin today's episode, we want to remind you that 3 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:09,399 Speaker 1: the views and opinions expressed on this podcast are those 4 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:12,200 Speaker 1: of the hosts and guests and are intended for educational 5 00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:15,960 Speaker 1: and entertaining purposes. In this safe space, no question is 6 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:19,280 Speaker 1: off limits because you never know how someone's storyline can 7 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:22,560 Speaker 1: be your lifeline. The Professional Homegirl Podcast is here to 8 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:26,240 Speaker 1: celebrate the diverse voices, stories and experiences of women of color, 9 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:30,200 Speaker 1: providing a platform for authentic and empowering conversations. There will 10 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:33,600 Speaker 1: be some key king, some tears, but most importantly a 11 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:37,919 Speaker 1: reminder that tough times don't last, but professional Homegirls do 12 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:49,400 Speaker 1: enjoy the show. 13 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:54,960 Speaker 2: Hey, professional Homegirls, Ishigara Ebinez here and we are back. 14 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:56,040 Speaker 3: Okay. 15 00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:59,720 Speaker 2: Is holiday season. It is time to eat, it's time 16 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:01,640 Speaker 2: to relax, it is time to be merry. 17 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:02,480 Speaker 3: Okay. 18 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:05,800 Speaker 2: So with that being said, with Thanksgiving around the corner, 19 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:08,160 Speaker 2: we are taking a moment to reflect and give thanks 20 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:10,399 Speaker 2: to the number one thing that we have that they 21 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:14,399 Speaker 2: want our pussies Okay, And what better way to do 22 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 2: that with a phg rewind episode. This week, we're revisiting 23 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:21,199 Speaker 2: one of my favorite conversations from twenty twenty. I cannot 24 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:23,399 Speaker 2: believe y'all was twenty twenty. It's about to be six 25 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:26,160 Speaker 2: years in January, and I'm like, wow, the fact that 26 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:28,160 Speaker 2: I have I keep going, like where on my finding 27 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:30,680 Speaker 2: all these conversations at But hey, as long as you 28 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:33,200 Speaker 2: got breath, you always have options, right. So I have 29 00:01:33,319 --> 00:01:36,679 Speaker 2: the pleasure of speaking with this incredible and anonymous author 30 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:41,000 Speaker 2: behind Pussy Prayers, Sacred and Central Rituals for Wild Women 31 00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:44,520 Speaker 2: of Color. We explore the powerful things of her book, 32 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:48,240 Speaker 2: unpacking the sacred power of pussy while breaking down the 33 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:51,280 Speaker 2: stigma surrounding it. I don't know about y'all, but like, 34 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,080 Speaker 2: especially with me being from the South when I was 35 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:54,920 Speaker 2: growing up and even now, like I mean, I stay 36 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:57,160 Speaker 2: pussy now, but I just feel like there was such 37 00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:00,560 Speaker 2: a huge dark stigma around the word, and like if 38 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:01,880 Speaker 2: you said it, you was fast. 39 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,480 Speaker 3: We had like a nasty like. 40 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:06,040 Speaker 2: I don't know, I have a very negative connotation with it. 41 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 2: I don't know if y'all had that same experience, but 42 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:13,839 Speaker 2: I definitely remember, you know, not being able to say 43 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:18,320 Speaker 2: the py word because it wasn't ladylike right. However, hands down, 44 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:22,480 Speaker 2: this episode is just one of the many amazing conversations 45 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:25,000 Speaker 2: I had with my guest today, And she's actually been 46 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:27,240 Speaker 2: on the podcast for all three of her books, and 47 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:33,480 Speaker 2: every single conversation was fired. Okay, So if you haven't already, 48 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:36,240 Speaker 2: I highly recommend going back and listening to all of 49 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:39,360 Speaker 2: our conversations. And if you're also interested in any of 50 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:41,480 Speaker 2: her books, please make sure to email me and hello 51 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:44,840 Speaker 2: at thepsgpodcast dot com and I will send you a 52 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:49,760 Speaker 2: direct link to her books. So as we celebrate gratitude 53 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 2: this week, let's honor the journey of reclaiming our identities 54 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:58,640 Speaker 2: and embracing our sacred selves. Because if you don't hold 55 00:02:58,639 --> 00:03:02,960 Speaker 2: yourself down professional home girl, who will tell me who? 56 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:04,240 Speaker 3: Exactly? 57 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:08,360 Speaker 2: But no, all jokes aside, y'all know how much I 58 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:13,120 Speaker 2: love y'all my professional homegirls. So have a happy Thanksgiving 59 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:19,600 Speaker 2: and let's rewind to this transformative dialogue starting now. So 60 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:22,280 Speaker 2: I am super excited about this week's episode. I am 61 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:24,640 Speaker 2: interviewing the author and she is a mountain us so 62 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,080 Speaker 2: I was like, oooh, make my job a little bit 63 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:31,360 Speaker 2: more easier. She is the writer of Pussy Prayers, sacred 64 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,360 Speaker 2: and sensual rituals for a wild. 65 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:33,959 Speaker 3: Women of color. 66 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:37,360 Speaker 2: This book is amazing, and I'm so excited that finally 67 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:38,760 Speaker 2: to get to have an interview with you so we 68 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,800 Speaker 2: can talk about this because there's so much like stigma 69 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:43,559 Speaker 2: around the word pussy. 70 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:46,880 Speaker 3: So how you feel me? Yes? 71 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:50,440 Speaker 2: So my first question, what did you write this book? 72 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:51,840 Speaker 2: What was the inspiration behind it? 73 00:03:56,360 --> 00:04:01,600 Speaker 3: I don't know how uh woo woo is spiritual your audiences, 74 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:04,560 Speaker 3: but now we woke and we very spiritual, so either way, 75 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:08,760 Speaker 3: all right. So I did not elect to write this book. 76 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:13,720 Speaker 3: I actually got a I believe, like a terror reading 77 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:18,039 Speaker 3: or something. And the issue was that I was having 78 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:22,120 Speaker 3: problems at work, and I realized that somehow I was 79 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:25,400 Speaker 3: always having problems at work, and so I just wanted 80 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:28,080 Speaker 3: to understand, like, you know, am I in the wrong place? 81 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:33,520 Speaker 3: What am I supposed to be doing? Just terrible terrible 82 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 3: management leadership. I always felt like I was taking via 83 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:42,440 Speaker 3: taking advantage of always felt like, you know, I was 84 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:44,560 Speaker 3: doing my best and doing what I was supposed to do, 85 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:50,159 Speaker 3: but still would be subject to consequences and bad evaluations 86 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:51,920 Speaker 3: and all these kinds of things. And so I just 87 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:55,919 Speaker 3: didn't really understand what I was supposed to be doing. 88 00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:00,960 Speaker 3: And when I got that tarror reading. She was like, oh, 89 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:04,440 Speaker 3: you're supposed to be writing books. And this was maybe 90 00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:12,280 Speaker 3: twenty sixteen, maybe early twenty seventeen. So I'm like, bugs, 91 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:14,760 Speaker 3: I don't what am I writing about. I don't have 92 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:19,040 Speaker 3: anything to discuss in a book, like I've never considered that. 93 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,760 Speaker 3: She's just like, well, your your ancestors are like you 94 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,800 Speaker 3: need to be writing, and you need to be writing 95 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:27,560 Speaker 3: this book and that's going to give you everything you 96 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,800 Speaker 3: need and you won't have to worry about no job. 97 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:33,000 Speaker 2: I was like, oh wow, I mean yeah, about what 98 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,440 Speaker 2: four point five posts on every platform? 99 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:38,840 Speaker 3: So okay. But see I didn't know that. So twenty seventeen, 100 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:42,480 Speaker 3: I'm sitting there like book, like, what are you talking about? 101 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 3: Like I don't I'm not about say, write no book. 102 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 3: I don't know what y'all want for me, I whatever. 103 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:50,120 Speaker 3: So of course I sit on it. I don't do 104 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:55,920 Speaker 3: anything with it. But I read something and it said 105 00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:59,839 Speaker 3: I think it was a poem or an article, but 106 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:05,200 Speaker 3: it says something about like prayers to the almighty pussy 107 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:09,880 Speaker 3: or something like that, and I was like, huh, pussy prayers. 108 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:13,520 Speaker 3: That sounds it. Just I wrote down, you know the name, 109 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:17,120 Speaker 3: and I didn't do anything else with it. Of course, 110 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:21,000 Speaker 3: I continue to be hardheaded, and I didn't write this book. 111 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:24,360 Speaker 3: It's well until twenty eighteen, I have not written this book, 112 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:26,800 Speaker 3: and I'm still like at this point, I can't even 113 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:29,640 Speaker 3: find a job, and I'm just like, what is going on? 114 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:32,360 Speaker 3: Like I need to eat, I need to pay my bills, 115 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:35,440 Speaker 3: Like what is wrong in this same prairie? Well like 116 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:39,720 Speaker 3: sow that look, that book is how You're gonna eat? 117 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:43,880 Speaker 3: And I was just like, no, like stop, like, stop 118 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:47,600 Speaker 3: playing with me. I'm not doing this book. But I 119 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:52,760 Speaker 3: guess got to rock bottom round about October twenty eighteen, 120 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:56,039 Speaker 3: and I was like, no, what, it can't hurt. Let's 121 00:06:56,160 --> 00:07:00,400 Speaker 3: just do it. And so I wrote one version of 122 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:04,760 Speaker 3: it and it was okay around maybe August or September 123 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:08,520 Speaker 3: of twenty eighteen, and I just knew that I needed 124 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:14,040 Speaker 3: to put in I guess, my own story and just 125 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:17,800 Speaker 3: different things that I experienced and learned over the years. 126 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:22,120 Speaker 3: And around October twenty eighteen, I kind of revised it, 127 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:25,600 Speaker 3: added a lot more things that people have been asking 128 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:31,000 Speaker 3: or conversations that I'd been seeing, and yeah, that's just 129 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:33,520 Speaker 3: kind of history. Yeah. 130 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:35,480 Speaker 2: I like the fact that because I've been following your 131 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:37,600 Speaker 2: community for a while. I like the fact that you 132 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:40,640 Speaker 2: kind of like share a little insight into into who 133 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:43,600 Speaker 2: you are and your own relationship with your own pussy. 134 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,360 Speaker 2: Well we could talk about later, but I thought that 135 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,320 Speaker 2: was really good because it kind of helped for me 136 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:50,200 Speaker 2: as a reader get an idea of why did you 137 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:52,560 Speaker 2: write this book? And now I understand how and how 138 00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:55,400 Speaker 2: you connected your story with a lot of our own stories. 139 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:58,480 Speaker 2: So I thought that was dope. So I had to 140 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:00,520 Speaker 2: borrow this question from your bookcause I thought this question 141 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:03,840 Speaker 2: was really good. It had me thinking who taught you 142 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:05,880 Speaker 2: about it was? What it meant to be a woman, 143 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:08,280 Speaker 2: and when did you learn and how did it make 144 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:11,240 Speaker 2: you feel about womanhood? I thought that was such a 145 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:11,760 Speaker 2: good question. 146 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 3: Man. 147 00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:17,040 Speaker 4: So so I used to be a teacher, so I'm 148 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:22,560 Speaker 4: very good at questions, but answering them who, that's a 149 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:23,240 Speaker 4: big question. 150 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:25,200 Speaker 3: I wrote it because I was like, I don't have 151 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:31,480 Speaker 3: to answer that, that's for them. So who? Okay, who 152 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:35,800 Speaker 3: taught me? Nobody? Really? I think, my that's a real 153 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:41,080 Speaker 3: last answer. I know. I didn't have any like explicit conversations. 154 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:44,719 Speaker 3: I didn't have any like you know, mommy daughter, we 155 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,240 Speaker 3: go to lunch or something, and we had like, no, 156 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:50,439 Speaker 3: we didn't do none of that. Like I think, I 157 00:08:50,559 --> 00:08:56,360 Speaker 3: learned by experiencing, and I learned by example, both good 158 00:08:56,360 --> 00:09:00,840 Speaker 3: example and bad example. And I just kind of figured 159 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:05,720 Speaker 3: out for myself like what kind of person I was 160 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:10,760 Speaker 3: going to be. And then thankfully I grew up in 161 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:15,880 Speaker 3: the age of the Internet at Google and had to 162 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:19,280 Speaker 3: go a computer at home, so you know, I got 163 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:23,360 Speaker 3: to look up some things when I was confused or 164 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:26,720 Speaker 3: had a question or had heard something at school and 165 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,760 Speaker 3: been like, what are they talking about? What is that? 166 00:09:29,679 --> 00:09:35,120 Speaker 3: So I attribute my my learning to experience and to 167 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:38,000 Speaker 3: the great people at Google dot com. 168 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:43,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, facts, Well, when were the signs that jer pussy 169 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:46,560 Speaker 2: was telling that you needed to reconnect with it or 170 00:09:46,559 --> 00:09:47,319 Speaker 2: reconnect with her? 171 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:56,320 Speaker 3: Should I say? So? So many? I just I knew 172 00:09:56,440 --> 00:10:00,320 Speaker 3: that I did not have a healthy relationship with my 173 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:05,240 Speaker 3: body for a number of reasons. But also I realized 174 00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:10,520 Speaker 3: that I was just having different symptoms and like things 175 00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:16,120 Speaker 3: happening that weren't happening before. And so pretty early on, 176 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:19,720 Speaker 3: I think that was maybe twelve or thirteen, I was 177 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:25,920 Speaker 3: diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome. And so what is it? 178 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:29,520 Speaker 3: For those who don't know for those who don't know, it's, oh, 179 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:33,320 Speaker 3: it's so much. It's in simple as times. It's when 180 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,760 Speaker 3: you are growing cysts on your ovaries. The cysts are 181 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:41,160 Speaker 3: not cancerous or anything, but they just grow there. Almost 182 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:43,760 Speaker 3: every woman grows cysts at one point or another, but 183 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:47,480 Speaker 3: they typically go away. For people with PCOS, that's not 184 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:54,360 Speaker 3: what happens. They stay. They disrupt hormones. It also affects 185 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:59,800 Speaker 3: things like your blood, sugar, your heart. I mean, PCOS 186 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:05,800 Speaker 3: is as a beast. It affects everything. So but that's it. 187 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:11,240 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you really got to stay on top of it, 188 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:14,360 Speaker 3: and so I didn't. That's another way that I kind 189 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:18,720 Speaker 3: of reconnected with myself because doctors don't really know what 190 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:20,720 Speaker 3: it is or why you even get it. You know, 191 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:25,080 Speaker 3: I was fine up until middle school, high school, when 192 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,760 Speaker 3: suddenly I stopped getting a period, and I was like, well, 193 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:32,880 Speaker 3: I'm not pregnant, so what's happening. And so just learning 194 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:35,240 Speaker 3: over the years all the different symptoms and ways that 195 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:38,160 Speaker 3: it can manifest and I just felt like that was 196 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,520 Speaker 3: just a sign like, Yeah, you need to tap back in. 197 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:44,679 Speaker 3: You need to be more intentional with your body, You 198 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:48,360 Speaker 3: need to be very careful with your body, and especially 199 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:51,160 Speaker 3: now with this condition, Like there's just things you cannot do, 200 00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:53,640 Speaker 3: There's just things you cannot consume. There's just things that 201 00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:58,880 Speaker 3: you cannot you know, practice whatever, Like you just have 202 00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:02,000 Speaker 3: to be more intentional about how you treat your body. 203 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,079 Speaker 2: One of my favorite things that I really liked about 204 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:08,920 Speaker 2: your book is you went down the history of how 205 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:12,520 Speaker 2: powerful and how Suplicity was being worshiped throughout the year, 206 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:15,040 Speaker 2: So you don't have to go into great detail, but 207 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:18,400 Speaker 2: just to give those like a background of that particular part. 208 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:20,400 Speaker 2: Because I was sticking up to myself like damn, like 209 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,800 Speaker 2: that is so true, Like I don't think that a 210 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:26,120 Speaker 2: lot of women know how powerful their regina is or 211 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:27,240 Speaker 2: just the history of it. 212 00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:36,000 Speaker 3: So I'm really into like history specifically like anthropology and 213 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:39,680 Speaker 3: just the study of humans, humankind, how we got to 214 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:43,920 Speaker 3: be who we are now. So one of my favorite 215 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:47,559 Speaker 3: things to do is to deep dive on different topics 216 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:50,800 Speaker 3: or whatever. And I really like the topic of religion, 217 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:55,280 Speaker 3: and so I was just you know, going through like 218 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,960 Speaker 3: we know, what are the you know, who are the 219 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:02,160 Speaker 3: forefathers of our current day? You know religions and what 220 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,600 Speaker 3: did they do and you know the first humans on Earth, 221 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:08,040 Speaker 3: did they have religion, just random nerdy questions like that. 222 00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:11,800 Speaker 3: That's what I do in my first house. So I was, 223 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:14,760 Speaker 3: you know, doing my little nerdy Google shout out to 224 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:21,200 Speaker 3: Google again and I came across these like cave drawings, 225 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:26,400 Speaker 3: and they seemed to be in a number of places 226 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:31,439 Speaker 3: all over the world, but they were very clearly vaginas, 227 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:37,680 Speaker 3: So people were just peyton vaginas all over. Cave walls 228 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:41,120 Speaker 3: were way way way way back when, and when you 229 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:43,920 Speaker 3: think about it, I mean, this is primitive life, this 230 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:50,200 Speaker 3: is ancient human life. You see new people coming out 231 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:55,720 Speaker 3: of this person's whole, and then they come out and 232 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:57,960 Speaker 3: grow up and become a person, and we do it 233 00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:01,280 Speaker 3: all over again. That was doubably magic, you know what 234 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:04,640 Speaker 3: I'm saying. Like, before you knew anything about science and 235 00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:07,480 Speaker 3: you know, births and things like that, you're just like, 236 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:11,960 Speaker 3: whoa like, brand new people come out of there. That's crazy. 237 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:15,280 Speaker 3: So naturally that's something that they revere, something that they 238 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:19,840 Speaker 3: worship because everybody couldn't do it. And when they did, 239 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:22,440 Speaker 3: you know, that's how their families grew, that's our communities grew, 240 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:28,640 Speaker 3: that's how countries grew. And so this vagina became something 241 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:32,640 Speaker 3: that was to be honored, to be revered, to be respected, 242 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:37,960 Speaker 3: because you know, there was no life without it. So 243 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:41,880 Speaker 3: following that just kind of wear down, right. I wluent 244 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:46,280 Speaker 3: that a rabbit hole of just how women were worshiped 245 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:50,560 Speaker 3: all over the world. You know, simultaneously they didn't even 246 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,880 Speaker 3: really have contact with each other, but they were all 247 00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:55,680 Speaker 3: doing the same thing. If you go from you know, 248 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:59,040 Speaker 3: Native Americans to people who were living out and like 249 00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:04,920 Speaker 3: the Asian kin Shineta Australia, like all these different groups 250 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:10,240 Speaker 3: of people were recognizing and honoring the same thing. And 251 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:14,160 Speaker 3: that's evident in what they left behind, which is figurines 252 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:18,840 Speaker 3: that were usually shaped like very voluptuous women, large breasts, 253 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:25,480 Speaker 3: large bellies, and these cave paintings, these cave paintings that 254 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:30,040 Speaker 3: had the same sort of voluptuous figures or just straight 255 00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:36,680 Speaker 3: up vaginas. There were also these like figurines and like 256 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:41,560 Speaker 3: paintings that they call Sheila Sheila n gigs or something 257 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:48,680 Speaker 3: like that, where it is an exaggerated figure of a 258 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:52,840 Speaker 3: woman spreading her like squatting and spreading her vagina. And 259 00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:57,040 Speaker 3: we know that that's how women gave birth before birth 260 00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:59,200 Speaker 3: was medicalized, and they made you lay down in a 261 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:01,840 Speaker 3: bed in the hospital and all of that you squatted, 262 00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:06,800 Speaker 3: that baby came and you know, and so these figurines 263 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:11,040 Speaker 3: just symbolized this was something that was special, this was 264 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:13,920 Speaker 3: something that was important. You have to consider that people 265 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:17,320 Speaker 3: wasn't just making art for art's sake. That just wasn't happening. 266 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:19,640 Speaker 3: We needed to eat, we needed to take care of, 267 00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:22,640 Speaker 3: you know, our people, and that was that. So if 268 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,840 Speaker 3: they made the time to paint something or carve something, 269 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:27,920 Speaker 3: it was really, really, really important. 270 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:39,000 Speaker 2: So why do you think that there are so much 271 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:42,600 Speaker 2: negative connotation around the word pussy, Because even when I 272 00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:44,880 Speaker 2: was growing up, I used to hate saying that word. 273 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:47,520 Speaker 2: So it's like, but then I was thinking to myself, like, 274 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:51,040 Speaker 2: especially after once I finished reading your book, I was like, 275 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:52,520 Speaker 2: why did I hate that word so much? 276 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:56,120 Speaker 3: Like where did they come from? M h, It's cultural, 277 00:16:56,480 --> 00:17:00,360 Speaker 3: it's cultural. It's just you know, I think it has 278 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:03,000 Speaker 3: a lot to do with maybe like ways that we 279 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,640 Speaker 3: were raised or just things that we were taught were 280 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:11,760 Speaker 3: proper or improper. A lot of respectability goes into the 281 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:15,960 Speaker 3: words that we choose to use. And so I knew 282 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:22,159 Speaker 3: that using the word pussy would be controversial provocatives, like 283 00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:25,960 Speaker 3: especially with the prayer right, people would be like what 284 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:28,280 Speaker 3: is she? Who is this? And what are they doing? 285 00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:31,679 Speaker 3: I actually see people in different Facebook groups who of 286 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,000 Speaker 3: course don't know that I wrote it, and they're like, 287 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:36,920 Speaker 3: what is this? Like if anybody read this, what is this? 288 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:41,480 Speaker 3: And I just laughed because I'm like, oh goodness, it's fine. 289 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:45,800 Speaker 3: If it's not what you're thinking, it's okay. But I 290 00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:49,520 Speaker 3: think that people just are uncomfortable. I mean, people are 291 00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:53,800 Speaker 3: uncomfortable with vagina, people are uncomfortable with all kinds of word. 292 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,800 Speaker 3: They're just uncomfortable with the female anatomy. So I don't 293 00:17:56,840 --> 00:18:00,160 Speaker 3: really think it's so much of the word pussy, even 294 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:05,160 Speaker 3: though it's been like I don't know, then rap songs 295 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:09,359 Speaker 3: with then you know, pooring be where, it's everywhere, and 296 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:12,640 Speaker 3: so people kind of associated with you know, crass and 297 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:16,639 Speaker 3: you know, just disgusting things. But it doesn't have to 298 00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:19,760 Speaker 3: be that, Like the same way people can reclaim other 299 00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:22,520 Speaker 3: words and you know, use them in a way that 300 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:25,919 Speaker 3: feels empowering. We can use pussy. Listen. 301 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:28,439 Speaker 2: So I don't know if you had a chance to 302 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:31,040 Speaker 2: listen to this episode. I did an episode with one 303 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:33,760 Speaker 2: of my guests and she was talking about how sex 304 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,240 Speaker 2: is painful. So as we doing the interview, and I 305 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:38,480 Speaker 2: have a relationship with with my guests, we're like really 306 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:42,640 Speaker 2: good friends, says, we're doing an interview, she came out 307 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:48,280 Speaker 2: and said how she was molested when she was younger hissed, 308 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:50,240 Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, so maybe that had a 309 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:52,600 Speaker 2: Maybe that has a reason why you're not able to 310 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:56,120 Speaker 2: like fully enjoy says, because the trauma that you endeared 311 00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:58,920 Speaker 2: and then you shared your own trauma within the book. 312 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:02,240 Speaker 2: So how so how can someone trauma affect the relationship 313 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,000 Speaker 2: with the vagina Because I don't think people can put 314 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:08,280 Speaker 2: I don't think people realize, like certain things in your childhood, 315 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:10,960 Speaker 2: they it does affect your adulthood, you. 316 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:16,560 Speaker 3: Know, absolutely absolutely, And if you don't, uh, you know, 317 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:20,720 Speaker 3: process that and move past it and heal from it, 318 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:24,679 Speaker 3: it will continue to manifest in various ways. You know. 319 00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:28,200 Speaker 3: I can't be certain, of course, but I really always 320 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:33,359 Speaker 3: felt like this PCOS was a manifestation of the hurt, 321 00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:39,120 Speaker 3: the trauma, the ignoring, the disgust that I had at 322 00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:44,000 Speaker 3: my own body. And I also realized that like when 323 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:46,760 Speaker 3: I am in a good place, I'm feeling good about 324 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:49,159 Speaker 3: myself and I'm taking care of myself. It's almost like 325 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:51,040 Speaker 3: I don't have it. I don't have any of the symptoms, 326 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:53,920 Speaker 3: and I'm good. And when I fall off from that, 327 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:58,480 Speaker 3: you know, my body reminds me, hey, you're not doing 328 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:00,280 Speaker 3: what you're supposed to do. And so I I just 329 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:04,239 Speaker 3: think that the body has ways of reminding us that 330 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,719 Speaker 3: it needs more attention. You need to be more intentional, 331 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:10,080 Speaker 3: you need to be more careful, You need to heal 332 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:13,000 Speaker 3: in whatever way that that makes sense for you. I 333 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:18,080 Speaker 3: think that very very many people with vaginas have experienced 334 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:21,920 Speaker 3: some sort of trauma, some sort of something that caused 335 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:25,879 Speaker 3: them shame, something that caused them embarrassment, something that caused 336 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:30,080 Speaker 3: them some negative feelings that made them kind of detach 337 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:34,480 Speaker 3: and ignore that part of them. And I mean it 338 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:40,360 Speaker 3: can manifest mentally, it can manifest emotionally. It means really like, 339 00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:44,600 Speaker 3: if you're disconnected from yourselves, you know, how can you 340 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:48,040 Speaker 3: really share that with a partner? How can you really, 341 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:55,520 Speaker 3: you know, experience pleasure when you haven't healed that part 342 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:58,600 Speaker 3: of yourself. And I think that we try to skip 343 00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,000 Speaker 3: over that and a lot of time we try to 344 00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:03,440 Speaker 3: use sex and other things as a means of ignoring 345 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:05,719 Speaker 3: and like you know, I don't have to think about it. 346 00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:08,400 Speaker 3: It's okay, we're just gonna do this, and it's a distraction, 347 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:13,080 Speaker 3: but sooner or later, those same feelings and those same 348 00:21:13,119 --> 00:21:15,480 Speaker 3: symptoms will rise back up. So I just really think 349 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:19,600 Speaker 3: that anybody who has experienced those things, they are painful, 350 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:24,920 Speaker 3: they are traumatic. It's awful who work trying to heal 351 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:29,960 Speaker 3: them and get past them, but it's necessary work. So 352 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:31,960 Speaker 3: one of some ways that you think that we can 353 00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:39,800 Speaker 3: take better care of our vaginas. So I think first jobs, 354 00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:44,760 Speaker 3: get your papers out. I mean, so I think of 355 00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:49,920 Speaker 3: everything from you know, three different planes mental, emotional, spiritual, 356 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:54,639 Speaker 3: and physical. And so my first thing is always physical. 357 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:58,600 Speaker 3: But you can touch what is tangible, what you can see, 358 00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:02,800 Speaker 3: because I feel like that affects our mental and our 359 00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:07,359 Speaker 3: mental in turn affects our spiritual. So if I was 360 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:10,200 Speaker 3: going to give anybody any advice, and I'm nobody's doctor, 361 00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:12,200 Speaker 3: let's just put that out there in case you try 362 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:16,160 Speaker 3: something that I said and you're like, that did work 363 00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:18,960 Speaker 3: for me, None of my business. This was just a suggestion. 364 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:23,440 Speaker 3: I think that first, being mindful about what you eat. 365 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:27,159 Speaker 3: I'm never going to tell anybody how they should eat. 366 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:30,720 Speaker 3: You know that things affect you differently. Stop eating those, like, 367 00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:33,600 Speaker 3: stop doing that to your body. If you know that 368 00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:36,359 Speaker 3: you eat things sometimes and it throws off your pas, 369 00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:41,879 Speaker 3: probably limit those. Don't do that. Fat cells. Water, water, water, water, 370 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:47,320 Speaker 3: so much water. Drink water, real water, not sugar water, 371 00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:51,840 Speaker 3: not kool aid, not sweet tea, like actual, factual water. 372 00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:57,760 Speaker 3: Your body needs water. Your vagina especially needs water. After that, 373 00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:01,399 Speaker 3: I mean, you can get into kind of herb remedies. 374 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:07,000 Speaker 3: I personally like herbal teas, so I drink like red 375 00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:12,679 Speaker 3: raspberry leaf tea, nettle tea. Those cheese have properties that 376 00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:18,880 Speaker 3: really help with your just your reproductive area in general. 377 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:22,440 Speaker 3: And then I like to drink teas they don't necessarily 378 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:25,800 Speaker 3: have caffeine, but just to really hydrate my body because 379 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:30,320 Speaker 3: you know, you want that thing wet, so provide so 380 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,439 Speaker 3: they don't just do that by itself. You got to 381 00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:38,240 Speaker 3: give it something to work with, so you gotta really 382 00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:42,080 Speaker 3: make sure that you're hydrated. I think that once you 383 00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:44,600 Speaker 3: do that and you start to see those changes, you know, 384 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:47,399 Speaker 3: it kind of changes your mental like oh okay, Like 385 00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:50,320 Speaker 3: I see how I need to engage with you. I 386 00:23:50,359 --> 00:23:53,119 Speaker 3: see how I need to treat you in order for 387 00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:55,840 Speaker 3: you to respond the way I want you to respond. 388 00:23:56,400 --> 00:24:03,119 Speaker 3: I am a big fan of Jonie. Steam is that 389 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:06,040 Speaker 3: the vaginal stemen. Oh I was going to ask you 390 00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:08,960 Speaker 3: about that. Okay, gig go ahead. Yeah, I'm a I'm 391 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:13,400 Speaker 3: a big fan, big, big fan. And you know it's 392 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:16,160 Speaker 3: a little tricky if you're doing it yourself. I actually 393 00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:20,600 Speaker 3: do recommend seeing a professional. There are like professional folks 394 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:22,679 Speaker 3: who will do them for you. They can come to 395 00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:26,080 Speaker 3: your house or you can go to their space, just 396 00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:28,680 Speaker 3: so that you don't hurt yourself and that you kind 397 00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:31,480 Speaker 3: of learn what you're doing. But once you know that, 398 00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:33,760 Speaker 3: you can absolutely do them at home. And I have 399 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:36,680 Speaker 3: some tips in the book on how to do them 400 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:39,639 Speaker 3: at home. But please be careful because steam can be 401 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:42,199 Speaker 3: too hot and it can burn you, and that is 402 00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:45,720 Speaker 3: the last place you want to be burned. But those 403 00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:49,320 Speaker 3: herbal properties can really really help you when they just 404 00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:52,960 Speaker 3: kind of are able to travel up into the vagina 405 00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:56,439 Speaker 3: and kind of bring down and sweat out anything that 406 00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:57,920 Speaker 3: shouldn't be there. 407 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:02,280 Speaker 2: So what the you're sitting on like a pot or 408 00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:04,080 Speaker 2: something right, or like squatting over it? 409 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:06,840 Speaker 3: You can like sit oh, we don't want to sit 410 00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:09,959 Speaker 3: on it, but you want to sit over it, so 411 00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:13,119 Speaker 3: I know that when I got them done professionally, I 412 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:15,800 Speaker 3: sat on like a stool or a seat that had 413 00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:20,159 Speaker 3: a cold cut out, and the pot was underneath the seat, 414 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:23,919 Speaker 3: so a good amount of space between you know, makushi 415 00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:27,320 Speaker 3: and this hot steam, but enough to be able to 416 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:30,960 Speaker 3: feel it. And then some people want to do them 417 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:35,480 Speaker 3: in the toilet, which is okay if you put a 418 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:38,520 Speaker 3: bowl or a pot just inside with toilet bowl and 419 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,600 Speaker 3: then sit over the toilet bowl. But I would recommend, 420 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:44,920 Speaker 3: you know, again, be careful with that steam, because that's 421 00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:48,919 Speaker 3: not pleasant when you're trying to have ye aigiana fallen off. Okay, 422 00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:51,760 Speaker 3: And then there are some folks who will just like 423 00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:53,920 Speaker 3: put a pot on the floor and just kind of 424 00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:57,480 Speaker 3: get on their knees and squat over it if they can, 425 00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:04,080 Speaker 3: and you know, whatever works for folks. But that probably 426 00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:06,200 Speaker 3: was the first time where I was like, oh, they're 427 00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:11,840 Speaker 3: specific herbal you know, medicine and like technique for how 428 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:16,920 Speaker 3: to engage with this part of my body. So that's 429 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,119 Speaker 3: one of my favorite things. 430 00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:20,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, I've been trying to look for a place because 431 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,600 Speaker 2: I'm in New York, but I guess I'm also sketchy 432 00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:26,439 Speaker 2: on certain people so I have to read my reviews 433 00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:28,680 Speaker 2: and stuff that's something intimate and I need that thing 434 00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:29,280 Speaker 2: to be working. 435 00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:32,480 Speaker 3: So yes, yes, yes, I'm sure New York has some 436 00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:35,840 Speaker 3: some good folks. I'm sure if I find a place shaw, 437 00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:38,119 Speaker 3: I'll let y'all know. I'd be the test on me. 438 00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:41,440 Speaker 3: I would be more worried about like some of those 439 00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:44,960 Speaker 3: smaller towns and towns that aren't quite as you know, 440 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:49,600 Speaker 3: progressive and liberal like they they'll still say private part 441 00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,680 Speaker 3: and that. I was like, Oh, I don't know, I 442 00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:55,920 Speaker 3: don't know, but you know, there are folks online you 443 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,960 Speaker 3: can always give. You know, if you find a professional 444 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,879 Speaker 3: and they're not necessarily in your area, you can always 445 00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:06,800 Speaker 3: ask them for recommendations or just tips on how to 446 00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:08,880 Speaker 3: do it yourself, or even tips on how to get 447 00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:11,159 Speaker 3: trained and startified to do it so that you can 448 00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:12,800 Speaker 3: do it in your area, if that's something that you 449 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:16,280 Speaker 3: feel like you're interested in. Another thing I like about 450 00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:20,480 Speaker 3: your book is you talked about the importance of pleasing yourself. 451 00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:23,040 Speaker 3: I think a lot of people, especially women, get a 452 00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:25,639 Speaker 3: little uncomfortable when it comes to like masturbation, just like 453 00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:28,440 Speaker 3: getting to know your body. Why do you think that, 454 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,320 Speaker 3: because I feel like if you don't know your body, 455 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:33,399 Speaker 3: how can you have somebody else know your body? It 456 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:40,320 Speaker 3: is this idea that touching yourself or you know, sexuality 457 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:43,960 Speaker 3: in general, especially for women, is nasty. It's you know, 458 00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:48,520 Speaker 3: you should do that. That means you're I don't know fast, 459 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:53,040 Speaker 3: you're a whole, You're this, you're that. And so, like 460 00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:55,159 Speaker 3: I said, when you when you are coming up and 461 00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:58,200 Speaker 3: you're learning about what it needs to be a woman 462 00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:01,359 Speaker 3: and what it needs to habit vagina and all these 463 00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:04,800 Speaker 3: kinds of things, you really do pick up on the 464 00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:07,800 Speaker 3: things around you. And if what you're picking up is oh, 465 00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:12,240 Speaker 3: that's bad and that's nasty and you know, God gonna 466 00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:14,280 Speaker 3: get me or whatever it is that you're picking up, 467 00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:17,480 Speaker 3: do you really carry that wish you even if it's subconscious. 468 00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:21,680 Speaker 3: So I feel like people just need to do their 469 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:26,320 Speaker 3: inner work to really unpack why they feel so disgusted, 470 00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:30,600 Speaker 3: why they feel this aversion to their own bodies, and 471 00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:34,119 Speaker 3: who taught them that somebody else is supposed to be 472 00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:40,480 Speaker 3: the expert on your body. I remember being in college 473 00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:44,240 Speaker 3: and just listening to the conversations that some of the 474 00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:47,360 Speaker 3: girls would have like, oh, well, I figure he would 475 00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:51,320 Speaker 3: just know ax y and z and I'm like says, 476 00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:54,800 Speaker 3: he's had a penis for like twenty years, Why would 477 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:58,600 Speaker 3: you know anything about ifs to be not act up right, 478 00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:03,560 Speaker 3: I expect him to be the expert on penis. He's 479 00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:06,840 Speaker 3: headed for decades, he's headed his whole life. I expect 480 00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:08,640 Speaker 3: him to know that. I don't expect him to know 481 00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:13,400 Speaker 3: nothing about what I got, Like, what, how does that 482 00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:14,200 Speaker 3: even make sense? 483 00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:16,800 Speaker 2: But that was deep where Daddy Brown, like, why do 484 00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:18,760 Speaker 2: we think that ain't supposed to know how to put 485 00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:19,640 Speaker 2: us off the back? 486 00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:25,000 Speaker 3: Because we're taught that men are you know, taught and 487 00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:28,560 Speaker 3: encouraged to be sexual to sow their royal o's, it's 488 00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:31,560 Speaker 3: okay for them to be having sex, you know, even 489 00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:34,400 Speaker 3: at early ages. It's okay for them to be out 490 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:36,880 Speaker 3: here doing these things. My question is always if it's 491 00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:38,560 Speaker 3: okay for them to have sex, but it's not okay 492 00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:40,280 Speaker 3: for girls to have sex, Who exactly are the men 493 00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:44,200 Speaker 3: supposed to have sex with? Like that just doesn't what 494 00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:47,280 Speaker 3: are we supposed to do? So it's just a mess 495 00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:50,160 Speaker 3: and people just need to unpack their own issues with 496 00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:52,920 Speaker 3: their own bodies. And honestly, some of that does come 497 00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:55,440 Speaker 3: from trauma. Some of that does come from, you know, 498 00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:59,840 Speaker 3: feeling feelings of disgust or a version because of things 499 00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:02,840 Speaker 3: happened to you. And like I said, like you have 500 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,520 Speaker 3: to unpact that you have to work through that in 501 00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:08,280 Speaker 3: order to come to a better place and a better 502 00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:10,840 Speaker 3: understanding of yourself. So if that means going to therapy, 503 00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:14,800 Speaker 3: then go to therapy. If that means finding a whole tradition. 504 00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:15,560 Speaker 1: Do that. 505 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:27,040 Speaker 2: And you also talked about the importance of having a 506 00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:29,440 Speaker 2: sister circle, which I thought that was amazing, like a 507 00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:32,280 Speaker 2: really good core of women that you can rely on 508 00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:33,960 Speaker 2: and that you can build with. 509 00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:39,320 Speaker 3: Yes, I am a proponent of sisterhood. I will say 510 00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:43,800 Speaker 3: from the rooftop, sisterhood is damn near my religion. Like 511 00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:45,680 Speaker 3: I heard one of my elders say that one time, 512 00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:50,400 Speaker 3: and I was like, yes, actually yes, Like sisterhood is it, 513 00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:56,360 Speaker 3: Like it's everything. Sisterhood can literally provide you with everything 514 00:30:56,880 --> 00:31:00,520 Speaker 3: that you ever needed or wanted. It is the most 515 00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:04,480 Speaker 3: fulfilling thing to know that you have a group of 516 00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:08,360 Speaker 3: people behind you who know you, who you've been vulnerable with, 517 00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:11,280 Speaker 3: who have seen all of you good and bad, and 518 00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:14,920 Speaker 3: they got you like no matter what, Like you don't 519 00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:17,920 Speaker 3: have to worry about them, you know, telling your business. 520 00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:20,920 Speaker 3: You don't have to worry about them bringing stuff up 521 00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:23,960 Speaker 3: and holding it over your head, shit with you starting stuff. 522 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:26,160 Speaker 3: You don't have to worry about feeling like you asking 523 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:30,160 Speaker 3: stupid questions, or you're in situations that nobody else has 524 00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:32,080 Speaker 3: been in, like nine times out of ten, you are 525 00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:35,320 Speaker 3: not the only one. And having a group of folks 526 00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:37,200 Speaker 3: around you, and not even a big group, but just 527 00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:40,640 Speaker 3: having people around you who you can share those experiences 528 00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:41,800 Speaker 3: with and somebody can say. 529 00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:44,240 Speaker 2: Oh, girl, I'll get that last year, or get it 530 00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:46,840 Speaker 2: happened to me too, or yeah, I experienced that, and 531 00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:49,200 Speaker 2: it makes you feel so much less alone out here 532 00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:50,880 Speaker 2: and so much more normal. 533 00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:56,720 Speaker 3: It's amazing. Like, I think that people prioritize romantic love 534 00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:59,320 Speaker 3: and that's kind of their end all be y'all, I 535 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,240 Speaker 3: want to husband, and I want to you know whatever. 536 00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:05,320 Speaker 3: But honestly, like that's sister love is probably some of 537 00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:08,880 Speaker 3: the most intimate love your ever books fits serious act. 538 00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:13,280 Speaker 2: I mean, it's nothing like having like conversations with another 539 00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:15,800 Speaker 2: woman that you can really trust and I especially if 540 00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:18,160 Speaker 2: they already been through it and you can just tell 541 00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:20,160 Speaker 2: they know how vulnerable you is, so they just let 542 00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:21,800 Speaker 2: you have it like, this is what you can do. 543 00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:23,640 Speaker 2: I'm gonna help you do this. Yeah, all for this person, 544 00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:26,160 Speaker 2: like like that shit is really important. I think a 545 00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:28,880 Speaker 2: lot of women sometimes misses the essence of having a 546 00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:30,520 Speaker 2: sisterhood for. 547 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:34,200 Speaker 3: Real and even making it intergenerational. Like the first kind 548 00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:37,560 Speaker 3: of sisterhood that I had, we were around the same age. 549 00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:40,160 Speaker 3: So there were things that you know, we could help 550 00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:42,720 Speaker 3: each other with, but there were other things that we're like, Mmmm, 551 00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:45,320 Speaker 3: we haven't been there yet, we haven't gotten that yet. 552 00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:48,920 Speaker 3: But when I joined different communities and I realized, you know, 553 00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:52,400 Speaker 3: I'm no longer playing the big sister role that I'm 554 00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:54,560 Speaker 3: used to playing, Like now I'm the little sister, like 555 00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:57,480 Speaker 3: the move little sister, Like these women are old enough 556 00:32:57,520 --> 00:32:59,920 Speaker 3: to be my mama, my grandma, and they've given me 557 00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:03,120 Speaker 3: that real, that truth, Like it's the level I want. 558 00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:08,800 Speaker 2: Another thing that I loved about your book is she 559 00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:12,959 Speaker 2: gave us affirmations about when you need to reaffirm your 560 00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:15,840 Speaker 2: power in your vagina. One of my favorite ones that 561 00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:18,000 Speaker 2: you wrote, and I always say this to myself, is 562 00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:20,280 Speaker 2: I am proud of myself for what I survived. 563 00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:27,120 Speaker 3: What is your top three? When I saw that, I 564 00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:31,880 Speaker 3: was like yes, girl, I can't even say it's like 565 00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:37,440 Speaker 3: picking a favorite child. Like those those affirmations came straight 566 00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:40,480 Speaker 3: out of my brain. I didn't get them from anywhere. 567 00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:44,680 Speaker 3: I didn't copy them, paste them from anywhere. Like everything 568 00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:47,800 Speaker 3: that I wrote in that section came straight from me. 569 00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:50,840 Speaker 3: And honestly, I don't even know if it was me, 570 00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:54,320 Speaker 3: you know what I mean? Like I feel like I 571 00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:57,000 Speaker 3: just was kind of getting a download. I remember the 572 00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:59,520 Speaker 3: day that I wrote them. I was sitting in I 573 00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:02,720 Speaker 3: think narrow or somewhere, and I was just going like 574 00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:05,440 Speaker 3: it was just coming out, coming out, coming out. So 575 00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:09,400 Speaker 3: all of those are probably things that I needed to 576 00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:14,319 Speaker 3: hear and things that my myself and my pussy needed 577 00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:17,960 Speaker 3: to hear. And because I needed to hear it, I 578 00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:20,200 Speaker 3: just knew that there were other people who needed to 579 00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:23,080 Speaker 3: hear it as well. So wait, what is your relationship 580 00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:25,680 Speaker 3: like with your pussy? Now? Who's her? We have a 581 00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:31,920 Speaker 3: good old time. We have a good old time. We 582 00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:34,160 Speaker 3: are getting there. It is the by no means perfect, 583 00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:37,359 Speaker 3: but like we getting there. We're working some things out, 584 00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:41,320 Speaker 3: you know, And no, I'm human. I fall off. I 585 00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:43,040 Speaker 3: do stuff I'm know I ain't supposed to do. I 586 00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:45,480 Speaker 3: eat stuff I'm not a't supposed to eat, and they'd 587 00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:48,200 Speaker 3: be like, Okay, play games if you want. These are 588 00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:50,920 Speaker 3: the results. Stupid games, get stupid prizes. Now you have 589 00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:56,759 Speaker 3: a yeast infection. Good look, And it's just being more 590 00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:59,839 Speaker 3: mindful of that. But like I'm we're good. We're good, 591 00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:04,759 Speaker 3: Like I have no complaints. She's good, like you know, 592 00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:08,640 Speaker 3: And I just feel like it has spilled over into 593 00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:12,320 Speaker 3: other parts of my life, you know, like I have 594 00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:18,360 Speaker 3: no problems connecting with people. I'm in an amazing relationship. 595 00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:23,040 Speaker 3: I you know, manifest things like it's nothing like as 596 00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:25,640 Speaker 3: soon as I decide I want something, boom is there. 597 00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:28,520 Speaker 3: And I don't think that that's just a coincidence, you 598 00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:34,600 Speaker 3: know what I mean? No, that's amazing. What do you think? 599 00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:37,440 Speaker 3: How can we instilled in each other? Her power for 600 00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:39,799 Speaker 3: our pussys is because I think a lot of women 601 00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:44,200 Speaker 3: don't know that the power is within them. It's like 602 00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:49,399 Speaker 3: I said, unpacking what you've been taught and figuring out 603 00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:53,200 Speaker 3: really what you believe and where did that come from. 604 00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:56,080 Speaker 3: That's something that I had to do and it was 605 00:35:56,200 --> 00:36:00,800 Speaker 3: really really powerful, just thinking through my thoughts, journaling and 606 00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:02,920 Speaker 3: just getting down so that I could see it in 607 00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:06,360 Speaker 3: front of me, like I just needed to see it 608 00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:08,440 Speaker 3: in front of me, like, what is in there? What 609 00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:11,880 Speaker 3: is in my brain that is, you know, making me 610 00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:15,920 Speaker 3: think certain things? And after our journal, going back through 611 00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:18,040 Speaker 3: it and saying, Okay, where did that come from? Where 612 00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:20,239 Speaker 3: did I learn that? Where did I hear that? What 613 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:23,279 Speaker 3: made me believe that? What have I experienced that made 614 00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:25,839 Speaker 3: me think that this was true? And once I could 615 00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:28,640 Speaker 3: pull those kinds of things out, it was like, well, 616 00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:32,439 Speaker 3: that's a lie, and that's a lie, and that's not true, 617 00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:35,239 Speaker 3: you know. And so my logical brain could take over 618 00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:38,239 Speaker 3: and be like, no, none of this is correct, you know. 619 00:36:38,719 --> 00:36:41,480 Speaker 3: And then I have to think, who does it benefit 620 00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:45,920 Speaker 3: for me to believe these terrible things about myself? Who 621 00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:49,520 Speaker 3: does it benefit for me to not know how much 622 00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:52,920 Speaker 3: power that I had? And we know the society that 623 00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:56,719 Speaker 3: we live in. If women really knew how much power 624 00:36:56,840 --> 00:37:01,040 Speaker 3: they had, whole shit would be on fire, like the 625 00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:04,920 Speaker 3: world would be in our whole revolution. But it benefits 626 00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:09,120 Speaker 3: the folks in power. It benefits patriarchy, it benefits capitalism, 627 00:37:09,239 --> 00:37:13,359 Speaker 3: it benefits racism, it benefits sexism. For us to sit 628 00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:17,239 Speaker 3: and believe that we are the lesser of any pain 629 00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:22,000 Speaker 3: and that we are, you know, incompetent and incapable and 630 00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:26,840 Speaker 3: too emotional and all these kinds of things you have 631 00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,200 Speaker 3: to really go through. And when you realize that, you 632 00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:31,400 Speaker 3: think that where did this come from? And who does 633 00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:33,960 Speaker 3: it benefit for me to think that? Because the damn 634 00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:36,800 Speaker 3: sure don't benefit me. So who was getting the benefit 635 00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:39,239 Speaker 3: of me thinking so low of myself? And how do 636 00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:40,440 Speaker 3: I dig myself out of this? 637 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,200 Speaker 2: And a long time game stories were told to us 638 00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:45,239 Speaker 2: about us. We didn't tell this to ourselves, and that's 639 00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:48,719 Speaker 2: why we believe it because somebody, let's say, our mom 640 00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:51,520 Speaker 2: or our dad projected this image unto us. And that's 641 00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:54,239 Speaker 2: why we have all these goddamn issues now because of 642 00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:55,440 Speaker 2: what somebody else told us. 643 00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:58,600 Speaker 3: And it's because somebody's told them. I had to realize 644 00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:00,920 Speaker 3: that too. I was like, you know, a lot of 645 00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:05,400 Speaker 3: my unpacking has to do with my relationship with my 646 00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:10,839 Speaker 3: mother and really homing through that, and that is that's 647 00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:14,080 Speaker 3: a mind field right there, but it really I really 648 00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:17,440 Speaker 3: had to really what am I trying to say? I 649 00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:23,080 Speaker 3: guess receive her with empathy and compassion because I know 650 00:38:23,239 --> 00:38:25,640 Speaker 3: that what she's giving me is what was given to her, 651 00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:28,040 Speaker 3: and I know that what was given to her, was 652 00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:30,560 Speaker 3: probably given to her mother, and on and on and on. 653 00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:37,680 Speaker 3: So M it's that generational trauma, that generational you know, 654 00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:45,399 Speaker 3: misinformation misteaching that we now this generation have to really 655 00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:47,759 Speaker 3: work to unpack or we're going to pass that down 656 00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:51,080 Speaker 3: or we're gonna end up having children who are like, no, 657 00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:55,279 Speaker 3: you're wrong, and I don't know why I'm saying this 658 00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:59,360 Speaker 3: to me, like you're completely wrong, And that's part of 659 00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:02,000 Speaker 3: the g a rational divide that we have now. It's 660 00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:04,399 Speaker 3: like these older people are like all these young people 661 00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:07,120 Speaker 3: they so they so this, they so that, and it's like, no, 662 00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:10,480 Speaker 3: we're just learning that what y'all taught us was wrong. 663 00:39:11,719 --> 00:39:14,040 Speaker 3: We don't blame you, but we also need you to 664 00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:17,520 Speaker 3: understand we're not going to abide by this anymore and 665 00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:20,879 Speaker 3: we're actually gonna work within what we know to be true. 666 00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:27,000 Speaker 2: What a word? Well No, In fact, Yo, I had 667 00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:30,200 Speaker 2: therapy today and one of the topics we talked about 668 00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:32,319 Speaker 2: was my relationship with my bomb and it's just like, Yo, 669 00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:35,000 Speaker 2: you know, I used to be so fucking angry with 670 00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:37,800 Speaker 2: the things that she taught me and the things that 671 00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:40,720 Speaker 2: I experienced. But you know, after going through therapy and stuff, 672 00:39:40,719 --> 00:39:43,640 Speaker 2: and just realizing that, you know, you can't fought for something, 673 00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:46,680 Speaker 2: you can't fault somebody for the for what they only had, 674 00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:50,120 Speaker 2: Like she don't limited amount of resources, so she she 675 00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:52,600 Speaker 2: could but what she had. And it took me a 676 00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:57,280 Speaker 2: long time to like understand that. It's like, I'm glad 677 00:39:57,440 --> 00:39:59,359 Speaker 2: now that I have the resources, and I do want 678 00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:01,879 Speaker 2: to take better care myself mentally because I don't want 679 00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:04,000 Speaker 2: to pass certain things down to my daughter. I would 680 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,400 Speaker 2: say her, I feel uncomfortable about if you want to 681 00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:08,280 Speaker 2: please your stuff when you get to a certain age, 682 00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:09,840 Speaker 2: then do it. I rather you do it then you 683 00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:13,879 Speaker 2: have somebody else do it exactly, just loving yourself more, 684 00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:18,120 Speaker 2: you know, mm hmm. And I I have also thought 685 00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:20,799 Speaker 2: about that as well, as I get to an age 686 00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:21,360 Speaker 2: where I'm like. 687 00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:23,839 Speaker 3: Okay, girl, we need to start thinking about if we're 688 00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:28,200 Speaker 3: gonna do this parenthood thing or not. And I'm like, 689 00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:32,440 Speaker 3: you know, how am I gonna address certain things? How 690 00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:35,759 Speaker 3: am I gonna You know, my partner will be like, yo, 691 00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:38,120 Speaker 3: what if you know, are we gonna let our daughter 692 00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:42,080 Speaker 3: have her boyfriends or whoever in the house? And I 693 00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:43,880 Speaker 3: was like, I'd rather it happen in the house than 694 00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:47,800 Speaker 3: out behind some building like I used to be. Like, listen, okay, 695 00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:49,920 Speaker 3: I would rather than be in a safe space. I 696 00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:52,160 Speaker 3: would rather than be somewhere where they have resources and 697 00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:55,960 Speaker 3: access to, you know, safety and things like that, than 698 00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:59,239 Speaker 3: to be somewhere get caught. Now, y'all got to sign 699 00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:01,279 Speaker 3: up on the sex Offend the list because y'all trying 700 00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:04,080 Speaker 3: to do stuff in a playground in the dark, like 701 00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:09,200 Speaker 3: you know, Granden, much rather provide that safe space. And 702 00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:11,680 Speaker 3: I know that that is radical. I know that there 703 00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:14,200 Speaker 3: are people who are like I ain't nobody doing nothing 704 00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:17,360 Speaker 3: in my house but me, and I'm just like, but okay, 705 00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:19,160 Speaker 3: we got to get past the fact that our children 706 00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:23,000 Speaker 3: go up and their sexual beings. It's okay, Like the 707 00:41:23,239 --> 00:41:26,200 Speaker 3: times are different, it's different. We don't have to we 708 00:41:26,239 --> 00:41:27,680 Speaker 3: don't have to do this. We don't have to be 709 00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:30,839 Speaker 3: afraid for them. But what we can do is teach them. 710 00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:34,400 Speaker 3: And I would much rather that knowledge come from me 711 00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:37,839 Speaker 3: and from sources that can be trusted. Then they little 712 00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:41,399 Speaker 3: dumb friends, and they little dumb boyfriends, they and their 713 00:41:41,440 --> 00:41:45,640 Speaker 3: worlds like people who don't know a darned thing trying 714 00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:47,640 Speaker 3: to tell my child, you know, what to do with 715 00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:50,200 Speaker 3: their body and what's okay and what's not Like I 716 00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:52,719 Speaker 3: would much rather my child not have to get on 717 00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:56,680 Speaker 3: Google to figure out what's going on. So I plan 718 00:41:56,800 --> 00:42:00,560 Speaker 3: on being very open, very different than my parents were, 719 00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:04,759 Speaker 3: very different than my grandparents were to my mom. And 720 00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:07,919 Speaker 3: I mean, we just gonna see. If it don't work, 721 00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:09,880 Speaker 3: I try. 722 00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:13,799 Speaker 2: Now. 723 00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:15,440 Speaker 3: I own my child busting it open now. 724 00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:18,560 Speaker 5: No, I mean, you know, and there are conversations you 725 00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:23,800 Speaker 5: can have around what you know, respectful of your body, 726 00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:27,120 Speaker 5: respectful of your time, respectful of you know, the person 727 00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:27,719 Speaker 5: that you are. 728 00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:31,200 Speaker 3: And also if you decided that's what you want to do. 729 00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:34,840 Speaker 3: I don't own you. There's nothing that I could do 730 00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:38,600 Speaker 3: to make you not do that. All I can do 731 00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:41,600 Speaker 3: is arm you with information and arm you with self 732 00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:45,960 Speaker 3: love and self confidence and everything that you need to 733 00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:48,440 Speaker 3: go out in this world and not be you know, 734 00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:52,560 Speaker 3: led astray by somebody's ask your child, So. 735 00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:58,239 Speaker 2: What last, but not least, I think it's only right 736 00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:02,239 Speaker 2: that you lead us into a prayer and reminding us 737 00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:05,920 Speaker 2: that the power that we look for sometimes is right 738 00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:09,960 Speaker 2: there between our legs. Our reginas, can you please lead 739 00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:10,760 Speaker 2: us into a prayer? 740 00:43:12,080 --> 00:43:17,040 Speaker 3: M hmm, okay oho, I got to pull out my preacher. 741 00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:22,399 Speaker 3: My preacher had all right. 742 00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:27,760 Speaker 6: So first getting honor to all of the ancestral mothers, 743 00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:31,200 Speaker 6: our fore mothers, all the way back to the first 744 00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:36,600 Speaker 6: woman who squatted down and gave birth to the first 745 00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:38,200 Speaker 6: person who will populate the world. 746 00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:41,960 Speaker 3: We give thanks, We honor your power. We know that 747 00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:45,560 Speaker 3: that power lives within us. We know that we are 748 00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:48,440 Speaker 3: born from that power, and there's no way for us 749 00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:51,279 Speaker 3: to be let us straight from it. All we have 750 00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:54,560 Speaker 3: to do is tap back in. We give thanks to 751 00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:57,200 Speaker 3: our bodies. We get thanks to our minds. We get 752 00:43:57,239 --> 00:44:00,600 Speaker 3: thanks to our spirits who have brought us here and 753 00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:03,840 Speaker 3: let us down. The journey that we're on, led you 754 00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:06,880 Speaker 3: to this podcast, led you to my book, so that 755 00:44:07,080 --> 00:44:12,959 Speaker 3: you can tap back into your natural power. I wish 756 00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:18,320 Speaker 3: for everyone within the sound of my voice, like my 757 00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:23,400 Speaker 3: godmother says, ecstasy, abundance and bliss. I pray that you 758 00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:28,239 Speaker 3: find your power. I pray that you take the time 759 00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:31,400 Speaker 3: to see what your body needs and do what it needs, 760 00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:34,000 Speaker 3: and be consistent with that so that you can be 761 00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:40,239 Speaker 3: your highest self. I shay, who child, I don't know 762 00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:42,520 Speaker 3: where y'all gonna get a prayer like this. 763 00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:46,720 Speaker 2: Listen, y'all, please make sure y'all support my girl Pussy Prayers, 764 00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:50,160 Speaker 2: sacred and sensual rituals for wild women of color. She 765 00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:53,439 Speaker 2: is anonymous to support her. I'm telling y'all this book 766 00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:55,640 Speaker 2: is really good. I'm gonna have the link in the 767 00:44:55,680 --> 00:44:59,680 Speaker 2: show notes and if if you have any questions, comments, discerns, 768 00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:02,279 Speaker 2: please make sure to email me at Hello at the 769 00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:13,560 Speaker 2: pgpodcast dot com And until next time, guys later. The 770 00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:16,960 Speaker 2: Professional Homegirl Podcast is a production of the Black Effect 771 00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:21,680 Speaker 2: Podcast Network. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, 772 00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:24,520 Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. 773 00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:27,520 Speaker 2: Don't forget to subscribe and rate the show, and you 774 00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:30,280 Speaker 2: can connect with me on social media at the PHG 775 00:45:30,480 --> 00:45:30,960 Speaker 2: podcast