1 00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:03,720 Speaker 1: Wake that answer up in the morning the Breakfast Club. 2 00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:08,560 Speaker 2: Morning everybody, It's DJ Envy, Jess Hilaris Charlamage the guy. 3 00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:09,760 Speaker 3: We are the Breakfast Club. 4 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:12,800 Speaker 2: You got a special guest in the building, a former 5 00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:15,160 Speaker 2: NFL tight and he played for the Giants at one time. 6 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:17,720 Speaker 2: Ladies and gentlemen, Darren Waller, good morning, Good morning man. 7 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:19,680 Speaker 1: How are you feeling great? Man? Bussed to be here? 8 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:22,520 Speaker 3: Good good, good, happy to see you. Brother. For folks 9 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:25,279 Speaker 3: that don't know, explain who is Darren Waller? Because you 10 00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:27,200 Speaker 3: got to You got a very interesting story. 11 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:29,440 Speaker 1: Man, Darren Waller. That's something that's something I'm still trying 12 00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:30,120 Speaker 1: to figure out. Man. 13 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:31,000 Speaker 3: Oh, I like that answer. 14 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,120 Speaker 1: Who I am? You know what I'm saying. I don't 15 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:36,360 Speaker 1: got a concrete answer. I'm somebody that's like I'm a creator. 16 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:38,800 Speaker 1: I'm uh, you know, I've been an athlete, but there's 17 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:40,400 Speaker 1: a lot of things that I want to do, our 18 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,400 Speaker 1: things I want to try and just continue to go 19 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:43,000 Speaker 1: on this journey. 20 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:46,720 Speaker 2: Now you started off, how'd you get into the NFL? 21 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,000 Speaker 2: For people that don't know, was it the usual way 22 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,960 Speaker 2: that most athletes do so? For how did you get 23 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,760 Speaker 2: into the NFL? Break down your story A little bit. 24 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:56,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, from the beginning, start playing FOOTBA when I was four. 25 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:58,320 Speaker 1: My parents just kind of threw me in seeing what 26 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:00,360 Speaker 1: I wanted to do, and it was just an natural 27 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,280 Speaker 1: love for the game. But I wasn't really that highly 28 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:06,319 Speaker 1: recruited out of high school. Wasn't that really known in college? 29 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:08,120 Speaker 1: Got in trouble a lot. 30 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:09,400 Speaker 2: And what school did you go to? 31 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:09,880 Speaker 3: College? 32 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:14,119 Speaker 1: Georgia Tech from Atlanta, So snuck into the late rounds 33 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:15,600 Speaker 1: of the draft six rounds. I had a lot of 34 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:18,839 Speaker 1: character red flags at the time, and from there started 35 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:20,840 Speaker 1: with Baltimore, then moved to the Raiders, where I spent 36 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:22,440 Speaker 1: most of my career, and then spent the last year 37 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:22,959 Speaker 1: with the Giants. 38 00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:25,120 Speaker 3: Did you know you had character red flags? 39 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:26,679 Speaker 4: Like, you know, because self awareness is something a lot 40 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:28,760 Speaker 4: of people don't develop till later when they start doing 41 00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:30,240 Speaker 4: internal work on themselves. 42 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:32,240 Speaker 3: But did you know you had character red flags that? 43 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:33,560 Speaker 3: Did they tell you you had them? 44 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:35,600 Speaker 1: At the time, I didn't believe I did. I was 45 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:38,160 Speaker 1: putting the blame on everybody else, and I was resentful 46 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:40,199 Speaker 1: at everybody else and thinking it was other people's fault 47 00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:42,000 Speaker 1: that while I was doing the things I was doing, 48 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:44,720 Speaker 1: they didn't understand why I needed to do drugs and 49 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,280 Speaker 1: drink and shit like that. So at the time I 50 00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:48,400 Speaker 1: did not have that awareness. 51 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:51,640 Speaker 4: Now, yeah, I read that you went from drug addiction 52 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:54,600 Speaker 4: to grocery store clerk to the NFL star. 53 00:01:55,120 --> 00:02:01,320 Speaker 1: Yeah. So I went to rehab September twenty seventeen, and 54 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:04,280 Speaker 1: after I got sober, when I got back home, I 55 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 1: moved in with my parents again, and I was like, 56 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:07,320 Speaker 1: I gotta get a job, I get some structure to 57 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:10,000 Speaker 1: kind of get my life back in order and do that. 58 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:12,520 Speaker 1: I went to church. My parents worked at Sprouts, and 59 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,800 Speaker 1: I just got a job there working grocery clerk, making 60 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,120 Speaker 1: the aisles look nice, getting orders from the backstock in 61 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:20,040 Speaker 1: the back. And I was there for probably like seven 62 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:21,560 Speaker 1: months till I was like, all right, I kind of 63 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:24,480 Speaker 1: got my p's and q's, going for these drug tests 64 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,080 Speaker 1: and everything I could get a chance to be reinstated 65 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:28,720 Speaker 1: into the league. So I started training again and things 66 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:29,639 Speaker 1: just kind of went up from there. 67 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:31,919 Speaker 4: You said something that I want to expound on. You said, 68 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:34,880 Speaker 4: you know, you didn't know, you didn't know what led 69 00:02:34,919 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 4: you to drugs. People didn't know what led you to drugs. Yeah, look, 70 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:41,640 Speaker 4: what did lead what did you lead you to drugs, just. 71 00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:43,040 Speaker 1: A lot of a lot of wounds from when I 72 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,280 Speaker 1: was younger man, just like feeling like I wasn't enough, 73 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:47,519 Speaker 1: feeling like I always had to overcompensate to please people 74 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:50,080 Speaker 1: or to look tough or have this you know, tough 75 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:52,840 Speaker 1: exterior as a man. Improved myself and it was a 76 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:54,800 Speaker 1: lot of pressure, a lot of anxiety, and just wanted 77 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:56,480 Speaker 1: to change the way I felt. I just wanted to 78 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:58,000 Speaker 1: have some peace in my life. And I felt like 79 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:00,480 Speaker 1: that those kind of things brought that piece, But it 80 00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:02,200 Speaker 1: was kind of a counterfeit at the time. You know, 81 00:03:02,639 --> 00:03:04,160 Speaker 1: it worked for a bit, but in the end, it 82 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,959 Speaker 1: ends up turning on you, and all those problems you 83 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,120 Speaker 1: think you're getting rid of by using are still there 84 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:11,040 Speaker 1: when you wake up the next day, when you come 85 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:13,080 Speaker 1: down from that high, like it's still waiting on you 86 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:15,800 Speaker 1: to deal with. And I was just putting stuff under 87 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:17,919 Speaker 1: the rug. But yeah, that's kind of why I kind 88 00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:19,200 Speaker 1: of got into that lifestyle. Yeah, you have. 89 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,959 Speaker 3: Nobody to talk to when you was younger, like your parents. 90 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:24,440 Speaker 1: I realized now how many people really wanted to help me, 91 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 1: really wanted to be there for me. But just I 92 00:03:26,919 --> 00:03:28,840 Speaker 1: don't know why I thought there was such huge walls 93 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:31,080 Speaker 1: between me and everybody else in my life that it 94 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:32,520 Speaker 1: was just so, you know, and as men like I 95 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:33,920 Speaker 1: kind of grew up in that era where it was like, 96 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 1: you know, rub some dirt on it, don't We don't 97 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:38,240 Speaker 1: really show your feelings, don't We don't cry, you know, 98 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:40,960 Speaker 1: you picklves up by the bootstraps and keep it moving. 99 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:44,200 Speaker 1: And I'm a product of that type of mindset not 100 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:44,720 Speaker 1: really working. 101 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:47,200 Speaker 2: Now, what was what was so bad growing up as 102 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:49,520 Speaker 2: a kid, Like what was the bruises that you discussed of? 103 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:52,560 Speaker 1: So the funny thing is it wasn't anything like external environment. 104 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,200 Speaker 1: I grew up in a nice neighborhood that everything I 105 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,400 Speaker 1: ever wanted from my family, But it was more so 106 00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:59,400 Speaker 1: like fitting in with the people around me, Like around 107 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,040 Speaker 1: like people of my skin color was like I wouldn't 108 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:04,240 Speaker 1: black enough, and around white people it was like, oh, 109 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:05,680 Speaker 1: you're not really one of us, but you kind of 110 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,440 Speaker 1: are one of us. And I was like one of 111 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,640 Speaker 1: the only black kids that were in like the advanced 112 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,680 Speaker 1: classes at my school, so I was like, I don't 113 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:13,840 Speaker 1: feel black enough. I'm only black kids in these classes. 114 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:16,279 Speaker 1: When I was on the team with the athletes and stuff, 115 00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:17,800 Speaker 1: I always felt like a nerd. So it was like 116 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:19,600 Speaker 1: these environments where it was like, damn, I don't feel 117 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:21,840 Speaker 1: like I fit in, or I can just show up 118 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:24,320 Speaker 1: as myself in these environments, I always gott to put 119 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:26,000 Speaker 1: this mask on or be somebody different. 120 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:26,840 Speaker 3: Because what you buy racial? 121 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,040 Speaker 2: That was gonna ask the same question. 122 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:30,440 Speaker 1: No, my dad's just really like skin. I think I 123 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:32,159 Speaker 1: gotta do like an ancestor or something. I don't really know. 124 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:34,760 Speaker 1: As far as I know, I'm just black. 125 00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:36,800 Speaker 4: So you're black, yeah, Bally, So I wonder why they 126 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:38,120 Speaker 4: thought you couldn't say nigga no more. 127 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:44,680 Speaker 2: So you know, I hear that story a lot, and 128 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:47,320 Speaker 2: it's usually what I had to say, because you like 129 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:50,120 Speaker 2: skin too. Nah, I'm good. So usually when you when 130 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,520 Speaker 2: you leave your neighborhood growing up, you move into like 131 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:54,160 Speaker 2: most like your parents might have moved into a white 132 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,680 Speaker 2: neighborhood right with a better school education, but now you're 133 00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:59,240 Speaker 2: the only black family or very few of you that 134 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:02,200 Speaker 2: in that situation. So I happened with my daughter as well, 135 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:04,360 Speaker 2: because when she went to the school, she felt like 136 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:07,280 Speaker 2: there was nobody there for her right. She felt like 137 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:09,360 Speaker 2: all the all the white girls would get all of 138 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:12,000 Speaker 2: the attention because it was white boys. She felt confused, 139 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,000 Speaker 2: she felt not wanted, She was growing up with a 140 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:15,720 Speaker 2: lot of problems. Did you have that same situation, the 141 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:16,200 Speaker 2: same feeling. 142 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:18,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, that was that explains a lot of the environment 143 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:21,040 Speaker 1: that I was growing up in. The first friends I made, 144 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:23,680 Speaker 1: like my neighborhood growing up were white and you know, 145 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:25,200 Speaker 1: a lot of dudes at my school and it was 146 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,560 Speaker 1: just because they was outside playing ball, like riding bikes, 147 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,120 Speaker 1: like just doing stuff I like to do, and uh, 148 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,359 Speaker 1: you know, kind of getting you know, jokes made because 149 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,080 Speaker 1: of those type of things. And was like, all right, damn, 150 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:37,039 Speaker 1: like I gotta like find a way. And growing up 151 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:38,200 Speaker 1: in the South, you know what I'm saying, football is 152 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:39,880 Speaker 1: like religion down there. And I was like, Okay, I'm 153 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:41,279 Speaker 1: good at this. This is going to get me the 154 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:42,679 Speaker 1: acceptance that I've always wanted. 155 00:05:42,839 --> 00:05:45,279 Speaker 2: And now I was gonna say that, do you still 156 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:48,040 Speaker 2: have those feelings now fitting in and in those situations now? 157 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:50,320 Speaker 1: Well, I'm a lot more comfortable in my skin now. 158 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:53,359 Speaker 1: I still have thoughts of like, all right, like I 159 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:56,400 Speaker 1: need to be successful and attribute that to my worth 160 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:59,160 Speaker 1: in some ways, but it's a lot less present in 161 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:01,040 Speaker 1: my everyday thinking back then, It's. 162 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:03,159 Speaker 4: So interesting to hear you had this conversation because, like 163 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,240 Speaker 4: you said, you're from Atlanta. You don't hear this about 164 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:08,359 Speaker 4: black people in Atlanta. Black people in Atlanta. It's like 165 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:09,360 Speaker 4: the total opposite. 166 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:10,080 Speaker 3: They grew around. 167 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,839 Speaker 4: They grew up around a bunch of black people, Black 168 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:15,640 Speaker 4: affluent people, black people in positions of power, elected officials, 169 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:16,880 Speaker 4: police officers, everything. 170 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,839 Speaker 2: So it's just like, wow, they're from Atlanta. 171 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:19,360 Speaker 3: Yeah. 172 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,880 Speaker 1: Well, I mean, I say, I'm from Acworth, Georgia. It's 173 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:24,279 Speaker 1: thirty minutes outside of Atlanta. So people that's really from 174 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:26,200 Speaker 1: Atlanta in the Inner City. I'm not from the Inner City, 175 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:27,000 Speaker 1: but I'm from that area. 176 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:27,480 Speaker 3: Gotcha. 177 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:31,160 Speaker 2: Now, recently you decided to retire from the NFL. Yeah, now, 178 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:33,920 Speaker 2: you know, you went thirty one, right, but everybody says 179 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:37,360 Speaker 2: you you physically, that you are still a beast, that 180 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:39,440 Speaker 2: you should not retire. But you know, one of the 181 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:41,720 Speaker 2: you know, top tight ends in the league. What was 182 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:44,359 Speaker 2: the decision to say, you know what, I'm no longer 183 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:45,240 Speaker 2: want to do this. 184 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:47,240 Speaker 1: At the end of the day, I feel like you 185 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:51,200 Speaker 1: got to evaluate your commitment level for the entire process. 186 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:52,800 Speaker 1: You know, there's certain things where it's like I can 187 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:54,880 Speaker 1: look at it and be like, yeah, the results of 188 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:58,320 Speaker 1: what could be the yards, the you know, successful seasons, 189 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,279 Speaker 1: like they would look great and they would feel great. 190 00:07:00,279 --> 00:07:02,039 Speaker 1: But as far as going through the whole process, putting 191 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:04,680 Speaker 1: all the work in, going through the entire season, It's 192 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:06,760 Speaker 1: like I gotta be willing to put forth that commitment 193 00:07:06,839 --> 00:07:09,720 Speaker 1: level for teammates, for the organization, and I don't feel 194 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:10,840 Speaker 1: like I can be able to do that anymore. At 195 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:12,280 Speaker 1: this point in my life. I feel like that passion 196 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:14,560 Speaker 1: has kind of passed on. There's other things that I 197 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:15,600 Speaker 1: want to spend my time doing. 198 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:17,560 Speaker 3: And you said you had a near death experience. I 199 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:18,760 Speaker 3: read an article that said. 200 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:20,680 Speaker 1: That, yeah, this past year it was weird. Man. I 201 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:23,680 Speaker 1: was going we actually shot a video in my boy 202 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:27,160 Speaker 1: a Rod and I was coming back to my condo 203 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:30,160 Speaker 1: in Jersey and I felt a fever coming on. And 204 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,680 Speaker 1: I had COVID two times before that, and I was like, 205 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,440 Speaker 1: I feel like I'm just have COVID, got to sworted 206 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:37,560 Speaker 1: out and just ug it. But I started to like 207 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:40,120 Speaker 1: lose consciousness and like I was like fighting for my breath. 208 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:42,559 Speaker 1: When I got back to my condo and I called 209 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:44,840 Speaker 1: nine to one one and they finally made out what 210 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:46,160 Speaker 1: I was trying to say, because I guess I wasn't 211 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,520 Speaker 1: speaking clear enough and I was just fighting for my 212 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:50,160 Speaker 1: breath to the paramat showed up. I think I kind 213 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:52,000 Speaker 1: of like passed out before they got there, and they 214 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:54,040 Speaker 1: woke me up and I had like an oxygen mask on. 215 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:55,720 Speaker 1: They took me into the hospital. I was in there 216 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:58,840 Speaker 1: for three days, couldn't go to the bathroom on my own, 217 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:01,480 Speaker 1: couldn't stand up. I had like a viral infection my 218 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:04,120 Speaker 1: lungs or something. So that was pretty wild. It made 219 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:06,040 Speaker 1: me kind of thinking reflecting, be like, all right, like 220 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:07,560 Speaker 1: what am I doing with my life? Am I really 221 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:09,400 Speaker 1: doing what I want to do? And at that time, 222 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:11,240 Speaker 1: I didn't feel like I was really doing that. I 223 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,040 Speaker 1: feel like I was doing things because I feel like 224 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:13,960 Speaker 1: I should be doing them. 225 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:16,880 Speaker 4: So it was a viral infection that called it. Yeah, wow, 226 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,760 Speaker 4: that's interesting. So you clearly you didn't think football was 227 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:22,240 Speaker 4: your purpose. Like it's hard to do anything if you 228 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:24,760 Speaker 4: don't feel like this is your purpose. Yeah, you felt 229 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:26,240 Speaker 4: like you had to go find your actual purpose. 230 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:28,960 Speaker 1: Yeah. I feel like in a way football did serve 231 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,360 Speaker 1: a purpose. It did give me the ability to, you know, 232 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:34,120 Speaker 1: find my voice, to share through like my pain and 233 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:37,040 Speaker 1: my struggle to help other people through theirs. And it 234 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:40,560 Speaker 1: also showed me that through hard work and patience and 235 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:42,280 Speaker 1: just staying with a process, I can be excellent at 236 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:44,960 Speaker 1: whatever I want to do. Because people were not checking 237 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:47,200 Speaker 1: for me for a long period of time in football. 238 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,679 Speaker 1: But you know, just by sticking with the process, I 239 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:51,600 Speaker 1: was able to make a name for myself and be successful. 240 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,160 Speaker 1: So I feel like I could carry those principles to 241 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:53,719 Speaker 1: whatever I. 242 00:08:53,679 --> 00:08:54,319 Speaker 3: Want to do. 243 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:56,320 Speaker 4: How do the people around you feel about your decision 244 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:58,240 Speaker 4: to retire, because you know, the NFL is not easy 245 00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:00,280 Speaker 4: to get into, and not even just your fan but 246 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 4: the organization. 247 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:02,359 Speaker 3: I'm sure people are trying to stop. 248 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:04,400 Speaker 1: You from Yeah, yeah, I get it from yeah, people 249 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:06,880 Speaker 1: with the team and you know, just just people that 250 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,520 Speaker 1: love the game, like and respect the way that I play. 251 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,520 Speaker 1: They're like, man, you can't retire, Like you can't do this. 252 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:13,600 Speaker 1: But you know, the people that are close to me, 253 00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:15,920 Speaker 1: and you know, see what all that I've given to 254 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:17,800 Speaker 1: the game, all that I've I've worked, and just like 255 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,560 Speaker 1: fort everything I had, they they support me. 256 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:24,160 Speaker 2: Now I see you since retiring, you've been fiddling a 257 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:26,240 Speaker 2: lot with music. Is that where you want to go next. 258 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:27,560 Speaker 2: You want to be a musician and art this. 259 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:30,160 Speaker 1: Of Yeah, I feel like there's definitely a journey for 260 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,320 Speaker 1: me there. You know, my great grandfather was a legendary 261 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:36,400 Speaker 1: jazz musician, and I love music as a kid, playing piano, 262 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:39,120 Speaker 1: being in a band, and I'm just kind of circling 263 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,720 Speaker 1: back to those things I loved as a kid, and 264 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:43,360 Speaker 1: you know, just really want to go that route. I 265 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:45,480 Speaker 1: feel something like in a way, like spiritually pulling me 266 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,400 Speaker 1: in that direction. And so you know, I don't have 267 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:50,600 Speaker 1: any expectations with it for real, but I believe in 268 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:52,760 Speaker 1: myself and the growth that I'm having as artists with 269 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,079 Speaker 1: the stuff I'm gonna be putting out. So yeah, something 270 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:56,920 Speaker 1: I want to definitely devote time to among a lot 271 00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:57,600 Speaker 1: of other things. 272 00:09:57,800 --> 00:10:01,720 Speaker 4: I feel like you are looking for peace. Yeah, that's 273 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:04,280 Speaker 4: what you're wanted. You want to do things that bring 274 00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:04,760 Speaker 4: you peace. 275 00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:05,520 Speaker 1: Yeah. 276 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:07,079 Speaker 3: If it don't make you happy, you don't want to 277 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:07,320 Speaker 3: do it. 278 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:09,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, man, Cause it's like, you know, it's like a 279 00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:11,440 Speaker 1: Jim Carrey quote out there. He was like, you know, 280 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:14,160 Speaker 1: I wish people could get everything they ever wanted to. Realize, 281 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:17,760 Speaker 1: it's not what's gonna give them that sense of fulfillment, 282 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:22,319 Speaker 1: especially if you're doing things, you know, pertaining to somebody 283 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:24,439 Speaker 1: else's dream of success. Because I was like, okay football, 284 00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:26,960 Speaker 1: Like damn I get I get this money, I have 285 00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:29,480 Speaker 1: this longevity, like I'm gonna be happy and be fulfilled. 286 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:31,400 Speaker 1: And it's still like I make it happen, and it's 287 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:33,080 Speaker 1: still kind of like I feel like it's still gotta 288 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:34,880 Speaker 1: be more out there for me, you know. So it's 289 00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:37,800 Speaker 1: gotta be something that's authentically aligned with me. And that's 290 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:39,440 Speaker 1: why I'm saying like I'm still trying to figure that out. 291 00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:41,040 Speaker 3: Is that why you got the serenity tattoo? 292 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:44,440 Speaker 1: Yeah? Man, you know since got getting so over like 293 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,640 Speaker 1: serenity prayers like a big tool as far as like 294 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:49,319 Speaker 1: going through my day, you know, because there's a lot 295 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:52,040 Speaker 1: of things that you got to accept things as they are. 296 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:54,440 Speaker 4: God grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 297 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:55,400 Speaker 4: courage to change things I can. 298 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:56,440 Speaker 3: And it wasn't know the difference. 299 00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:58,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, you wear yourself out trying to change things as 300 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:00,720 Speaker 1: you can. Man. So it's something that how to carry 301 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:01,280 Speaker 1: everything I do. 302 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,080 Speaker 2: Now you talk about peace, So what gives Darren Waller 303 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,040 Speaker 2: piece like what puts you in your happy place. If 304 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,040 Speaker 2: it's not football anymore, I. 305 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,000 Speaker 1: Would say being in nature. Man. As a kid growing 306 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:12,439 Speaker 1: up in Atlanta, it wasn't really no mountains around you, 307 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:14,880 Speaker 1: like Kansaw Mountain and Stone Mountain, they really just like 308 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,720 Speaker 1: hills though. But going out to a place like Vegas 309 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:19,960 Speaker 1: and going to place like Utah, Colorado, like being in 310 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:22,440 Speaker 1: nature like those things. Really, I feel like getting me 311 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:26,200 Speaker 1: closer to God than anything else. Making music as well, 312 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:28,680 Speaker 1: just being in the process of that, writing, creating, coming 313 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:31,760 Speaker 1: up with ideas, being around my family more. I feel 314 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:33,400 Speaker 1: like just with the grind that I've had through the game, 315 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:35,679 Speaker 1: like I feel like I've missed out a lot, you know. 316 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:37,480 Speaker 1: Like for the fourth I'll be going to my first 317 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:41,679 Speaker 1: family function with all the extended family since before I 318 00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:43,640 Speaker 1: got sober, I was almost seven years ago. Because it's 319 00:11:43,679 --> 00:11:45,800 Speaker 1: always when I'm training or getting ready for training camp. 320 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,360 Speaker 4: So you ready for that though, because you know it's 321 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:49,880 Speaker 4: gonna be a bunch of oh man, you why you retiring? 322 00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:51,200 Speaker 3: What's up? 323 00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:54,959 Speaker 1: Man? Yeah? Man? But still give me tickets. Yeah, there's 324 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:57,120 Speaker 1: a lot of that, but but yeah, it's just like 325 00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:58,840 Speaker 1: getting people to see me as I am now, like 326 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:01,040 Speaker 1: I'm football is always going to be a part of me. 327 00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:03,319 Speaker 1: It has been a major part. But there's more to 328 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:05,440 Speaker 1: my story. I still got God willing sixty more years 329 00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:07,840 Speaker 1: to live, so there's more chapters to be told. 330 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:09,240 Speaker 4: I want you to go back to the nature park 331 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,439 Speaker 4: because you know I write books. So in my new book, 332 00:12:11,559 --> 00:12:13,120 Speaker 4: which is called Get On As to Die Line, I 333 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:16,080 Speaker 4: have a chapter called tree hug the Block, and it's 334 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:19,400 Speaker 4: literally about how we need to get reconnected to nature 335 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:21,440 Speaker 4: because I grew up in South Carolina. I'm from the South, 336 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,200 Speaker 4: so I grew up running around on the dirt road, 337 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:24,960 Speaker 4: running through the corn field, running through the woods, you know, 338 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,600 Speaker 4: actually looking up at the sun, walking around barefoot. So 339 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:30,240 Speaker 4: I was doing grounding and earthing because before I even 340 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,360 Speaker 4: knew what that was. So talk about just that connection 341 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,600 Speaker 4: to nature and how important that it is for your mental 342 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:36,640 Speaker 4: and emotional world being. 343 00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:39,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, man, for me, just being outside, being in nature 344 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:42,320 Speaker 1: is something that it allows me to see like where 345 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,080 Speaker 1: I stand, like in the grand scheme of things like 346 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:46,040 Speaker 1: being around like mountains and things like that. It's like 347 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:48,760 Speaker 1: I'm in awe of God's creation, realizing like I'm a 348 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:50,439 Speaker 1: part of this world, like I have something to give. 349 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:53,120 Speaker 1: But at the same time, like not taking myself so seriously. 350 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:55,720 Speaker 1: But yeah, also being in nature. It's like, I feel 351 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:58,120 Speaker 1: like that's what our ancestors did, That's what we all did. 352 00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:01,199 Speaker 1: Like and just being out there, just getting outside of yourself, 353 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:02,960 Speaker 1: just being able to enjoy the beauty of the world 354 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,040 Speaker 1: around you. I can affect your mindset and help you 355 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:05,960 Speaker 1: live with more gratitude. 356 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:07,800 Speaker 3: Is that where you were when you decided to retire? 357 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:12,200 Speaker 1: Uh? Yeah, So the week before I made my decision, 358 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:15,200 Speaker 1: we actually hit all the national parks in Utah for 359 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,400 Speaker 1: five days. We just hopped in the rv US and 360 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:19,880 Speaker 1: a couple of other homies and we just went for it. 361 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:22,160 Speaker 1: And it's like, you know, we a lot of a 362 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,440 Speaker 1: lot of folks saying, ain't really doing that, especially like 363 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,760 Speaker 1: where we come from, people that look like us. You know, 364 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:28,960 Speaker 1: we're just trying to do things that uh you know, 365 00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:29,920 Speaker 1: that's new. You know what I'm saying. 366 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:31,559 Speaker 3: Were you high or anything? Like I'm not a damn. 367 00:13:31,559 --> 00:13:34,520 Speaker 4: I ain't mean drugs, but like, you know, weed and 368 00:13:34,559 --> 00:13:36,920 Speaker 4: nothing to do. Nah, I spoke I like smoking cigars, 369 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:38,600 Speaker 4: but that's pretty much it now. So you just was like, 370 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:40,480 Speaker 4: you know what, I think I'm gonna retire. You just 371 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:42,240 Speaker 4: turned to your man and say I think I'm gonna retire. 372 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,120 Speaker 1: It wasn't like a decision that just hit me at 373 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,400 Speaker 1: that moment. It was something else being uh, you know, 374 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:49,880 Speaker 1: considered over that time. But as I was out there, 375 00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:52,160 Speaker 1: it was like, yeah, that was kind of the stamp. 376 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:54,440 Speaker 1: You know, I feel like I've given this all I 377 00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:56,600 Speaker 1: I have to give. As far as me wanting to 378 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:57,800 Speaker 1: play the game, I feel like the only thing that 379 00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:59,839 Speaker 1: I'll bring me back was wanted to impress other people. 380 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:04,520 Speaker 4: You've made a lot of, you know, real big life 381 00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:06,800 Speaker 4: choices lately. Right, you're tired from the NFL, and then 382 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:10,360 Speaker 4: you got married last year at to Kelsey Plumpp star 383 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:11,840 Speaker 4: Las Vegas Ace's point card. 384 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:14,679 Speaker 3: But then you filed for divorce a year later? Right? 385 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:16,240 Speaker 3: What happened? 386 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:19,360 Speaker 1: Man? That's uh you talk about get honest or die lining. 387 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:21,360 Speaker 1: You know, you kind of got to look at yourself 388 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:24,120 Speaker 1: and realize, like, all right, like you know what role 389 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:26,520 Speaker 1: am I playing? That all the relationships in my life 390 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:28,720 Speaker 1: have always had the same patterns, and it kind of 391 00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:31,080 Speaker 1: plays into everything else I was mentioned earlier, like the 392 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,920 Speaker 1: codependency aspect of like anytime I'm in a relationship, I 393 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,280 Speaker 1: feel like I gotta you know, dance or do a 394 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:39,200 Speaker 1: certain thing for to keep this person around, you know, 395 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:41,840 Speaker 1: almost like a tying my self worth to the success 396 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:45,000 Speaker 1: of a relationship. And you realize how much you lose 397 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:48,080 Speaker 1: yourself and doing the things that you love and things 398 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:51,320 Speaker 1: that take care of you on a daily basis, making 399 00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:53,320 Speaker 1: this person kind of like the center of your universe, 400 00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:55,520 Speaker 1: and how unhealthy that is for everybody involved, you know 401 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,840 Speaker 1: what I'm saying. So realizing that, realizing the impact that 402 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:01,600 Speaker 1: it was having on me, and you know, as far 403 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:03,560 Speaker 1: as making decisions that were authentic for the life that 404 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:06,040 Speaker 1: I wanted. These are things that I couldn't say one 405 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:09,080 Speaker 1: hundred percent yes to. You have certain conversations and realize 406 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,080 Speaker 1: there's so much life ahead of both of us, you know, 407 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:13,480 Speaker 1: might as well just go ahead and live it and 408 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:15,320 Speaker 1: move on with no type of hostility. 409 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:18,880 Speaker 4: You didn't think that like before marriage, like before you 410 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:21,720 Speaker 4: proposed and before you got married, Like you didn't have 411 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:22,960 Speaker 4: that conversation with yourself. 412 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:24,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, I like, I like to think that I did. 413 00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:27,240 Speaker 1: But there's certain situations like kind of like I said earlier, 414 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:30,680 Speaker 1: where I didn't really have that self awareness that spreads 415 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:34,200 Speaker 1: into other areas of my life. As well, where I'm like, okay, 416 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:37,160 Speaker 1: I thought I was ready to have a commitment like 417 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:40,440 Speaker 1: that and be involved, but really it's like there's a 418 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:44,120 Speaker 1: part of me that's like okay, like the pursuit, the chase, 419 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:49,240 Speaker 1: the building of it, seeing more appealing of than when things, 420 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:52,880 Speaker 1: you know, get extremely difficult and the same patterns continue 421 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:54,000 Speaker 1: to come out, and it's like, Bro, at the end 422 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,520 Speaker 1: of the day, you got to heal Bro, or the 423 00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:56,880 Speaker 1: same things you're gonna continue to happen. 424 00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:59,760 Speaker 4: That's all Will Smith say recently, he said, it's impossible 425 00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:02,360 Speaker 4: to me somebody else happy. Yeah, say, you have to 426 00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:05,040 Speaker 4: have happiness right, she has to have happiness right, and 427 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,840 Speaker 4: then y'all come together exactly. 428 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:11,600 Speaker 3: You know, Is that that what it was? You think? Absolutely? 429 00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:13,200 Speaker 1: Man. I feel like in a way there's there was 430 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:16,520 Speaker 1: a reliance of me on the relationship to give me 431 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,520 Speaker 1: something that of course I needed to come to the 432 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:22,400 Speaker 1: table without that extra baggage and with that healing already 433 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,120 Speaker 1: in place, and I didn't what. 434 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:25,840 Speaker 3: Was harder to do retire from the NFL to get 435 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:26,360 Speaker 3: it the boss. 436 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:31,240 Speaker 1: I think both, man, both are difficult, because you know, 437 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,120 Speaker 1: both are you know, a part of who I am. 438 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,320 Speaker 1: Things that you know, meant a lot to me at 439 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,000 Speaker 1: the time, and to have them both happening at the 440 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,080 Speaker 1: same time, it's like, you know, a lot of emotions, 441 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,520 Speaker 1: you got to process, a lot of talking, a lot 442 00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:43,840 Speaker 1: of writing, a lot of time being spent reflecting and 443 00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:46,360 Speaker 1: being by yourself, and uh, that's real life stuff, man, 444 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,440 Speaker 1: Because I've had a lot of success, a lot of 445 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,520 Speaker 1: great moments in my life, but these are This year 446 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:52,640 Speaker 1: has been one that has really forced me to look 447 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:56,080 Speaker 1: in the mirror and and dig deep into you know, 448 00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,320 Speaker 1: express myself in ways that are healthy and just really 449 00:16:58,320 --> 00:16:59,840 Speaker 1: get to you know what I'm saying, who is there 450 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,840 Speaker 1: while at the core without all these things that I 451 00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:04,720 Speaker 1: try to reach for for you know, fulfillment or validation. 452 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:07,320 Speaker 4: And it was a mutual thing or like it was 453 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,280 Speaker 4: you saying I want to leave or her sings you 454 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:10,080 Speaker 4: want to leave it. 455 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:12,760 Speaker 1: There was conversations had to the end where it was mutual. 456 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,840 Speaker 2: Now you did a song called who Knew? Yeah Now 457 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,639 Speaker 2: that was in dedication to the situation relationship. 458 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:23,720 Speaker 1: So yeah, So I had an idea as as we 459 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:26,920 Speaker 1: were winding down and separating that I was like, okay, 460 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:29,120 Speaker 1: like I keep finding myself in these positions, these same patterns, 461 00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:32,200 Speaker 1: And I have this idea of like if ever I 462 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:34,520 Speaker 1: if the girl I was in relationship with, because like, 463 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:36,600 Speaker 1: I mean, you can look at her and say, like 464 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:38,560 Speaker 1: she's the public one that people can know that I 465 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,520 Speaker 1: was with, but that that's the same pattern of a 466 00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:42,400 Speaker 1: lot of relationships that I've been in. It's like, if 467 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,120 Speaker 1: they had to pen and would write me a song, 468 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:46,080 Speaker 1: what would they say? And so it's like, you know, 469 00:17:46,119 --> 00:17:47,760 Speaker 1: you're taking a risk making a song like that. It's 470 00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:50,680 Speaker 1: very very vulnerable, very different than anything I've ever made before. 471 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:53,480 Speaker 1: But you know, I tried to make make stuff that's 472 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:56,920 Speaker 1: authentic to me where I'm at, and you just put 473 00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:57,920 Speaker 1: myself out there take risks. 474 00:17:57,920 --> 00:17:59,240 Speaker 2: Did she had a song? What was her thoughts on 475 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:00,280 Speaker 2: a song? Did you speak after? 476 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:04,120 Speaker 1: No? That was after you ain't really been no discussion. 477 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:07,080 Speaker 2: I don't speak at all that you don't communicat or 478 00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:08,000 Speaker 2: have conversations at all. 479 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,679 Speaker 4: It's no, it's I mean, you're saying this song, you 480 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,400 Speaker 4: know why you want to run away? Why can't you 481 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:12,879 Speaker 4: just stay? 482 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:13,919 Speaker 1: So? 483 00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:15,639 Speaker 3: Was this something you was trying to keep together? 484 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,919 Speaker 1: So it's really the song is like her perspective, So 485 00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:21,199 Speaker 1: it's from the perspective of the woman that's been in 486 00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:23,959 Speaker 1: a relationship with me, So she's like, why do you 487 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:25,679 Speaker 1: keep running? Like really speaking to me. 488 00:18:26,359 --> 00:18:29,560 Speaker 4: I love this perspective, man, because men a lot of 489 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:34,159 Speaker 4: times don't take accountability for our bullshit. Yeah, trying to 490 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,800 Speaker 4: project and put it on the other person for you 491 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:40,360 Speaker 4: to be like, no, it ain't you, it's me. Sometimes 492 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:42,600 Speaker 4: a lot of dudes say that just when they really 493 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:43,920 Speaker 4: want to be out here doing some bs. 494 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:46,080 Speaker 3: But you really knew you had to go do the 495 00:18:46,119 --> 00:18:46,720 Speaker 3: internal work. 496 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,879 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, it's a lot of work on my behalf 497 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:52,160 Speaker 1: for me to try to look at somebody else and 498 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:55,600 Speaker 1: focus on them when there's plenty of stuff on my 499 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:57,159 Speaker 1: side of the street that I got to clean up. 500 00:18:57,880 --> 00:18:59,480 Speaker 1: You know. Yeah, that's not what men do. That's not 501 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,880 Speaker 1: the exam people that we're trying to set. So I'm 502 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:03,600 Speaker 1: out here trying to do better just like everybody else's. 503 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:05,040 Speaker 3: Was it therapeutic to do that record? 504 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:08,400 Speaker 1: Yeah? Absolutely. It was definitely a good way to express 505 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:12,320 Speaker 1: myself and to you know, have empathy not only for her, 506 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:15,359 Speaker 1: but everybody I've been in a relationship with, and to 507 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,159 Speaker 1: honor them as I go forward and try to change 508 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:21,160 Speaker 1: my ways, change my thinking and heal myself. 509 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:24,359 Speaker 4: You think you'll be ready for a relationship, like the 510 00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:26,240 Speaker 4: more internal work you're doing, do you think you'll be 511 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:27,800 Speaker 4: ready for a relationship in the future. 512 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,639 Speaker 1: I believe so, yeah, if that's what God has in 513 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,119 Speaker 1: the cars for me. But it's definitely going to take 514 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:36,919 Speaker 1: a lot more patience than I've had before and moving 515 00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:38,399 Speaker 1: slowly because a lot of times I feel like I 516 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:39,639 Speaker 1: want to move fast, you know what I'm saying, Like 517 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,719 Speaker 1: I'm an addict. I got that thinking. It's like, you know, 518 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,680 Speaker 1: I want what I want now and I want things 519 00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:46,480 Speaker 1: to happen quickly. And those kinds of thought process got 520 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,800 Speaker 1: to change, and I believe that they will and in 521 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:50,919 Speaker 1: time whenever that is. But like I said, I got 522 00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,720 Speaker 1: a lot of things I want to figure out for 523 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:56,119 Speaker 1: myself and it'll happen when it's supposed to. 524 00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:58,000 Speaker 4: It's my last question about that. But what do you 525 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,520 Speaker 4: say to people, especially a lot of guys who like, damn, Darren, 526 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:05,400 Speaker 4: you fumbled Kelsey because they like they think beautiful, Yeah, 527 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:06,760 Speaker 4: do you feel like you fumbled her? 528 00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:10,720 Speaker 1: Not really? Man, In a lot of ways, I feel like, Man, 529 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:14,600 Speaker 1: was that even really for me to pick up in 530 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,639 Speaker 1: the first place? You know, as approaching a relationship and 531 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:21,960 Speaker 1: wanting to speed through things and you know, make a 532 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:24,040 Speaker 1: connection happen quickly. With some of the things I talked 533 00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:26,320 Speaker 1: about earlier, it's like you look at it and it's like, like, 534 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:29,560 Speaker 1: was that even for me? So you can talk about 535 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,600 Speaker 1: fumbling or whatever, that's not really anything that I try 536 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:32,040 Speaker 1: to think about. 537 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:35,200 Speaker 4: I never thought about that in terms of relationships with people, 538 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:37,679 Speaker 4: like if you have a like, if you have an addiction, right, 539 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:40,800 Speaker 4: if you're you're an addict, right, you said you want 540 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,119 Speaker 4: what you want and you want it now, So you 541 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:45,440 Speaker 4: can kind of like trauma bond with a lot of 542 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:48,760 Speaker 4: people and not even realizactly not even be aware of 543 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:51,400 Speaker 4: that shit crazy damn. 544 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:54,879 Speaker 2: Now, I do want to ask about the NFL. I 545 00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:57,960 Speaker 2: do see sometimes players in the NFL that plays sports 546 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:01,080 Speaker 2: get addicted to things easy, And I was going to 547 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:02,679 Speaker 2: ask us that to take away the pain? Is that 548 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:07,080 Speaker 2: to take away the feeling, the trauma, the hurt, the crowd, 549 00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:08,720 Speaker 2: the fan, is that why you feel like some of 550 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:10,640 Speaker 2: that addiction came from. 551 00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:13,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, so like mine started really early. But if you're 552 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:16,160 Speaker 1: talking like in the general population of guys in the league, Yeah, 553 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:18,200 Speaker 1: there's an insane amount of pressure on you on a 554 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:20,399 Speaker 1: day and day out, you know, just to perform at 555 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:23,879 Speaker 1: your job or somebody's gonna take your place. You know, 556 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:25,720 Speaker 1: people are gonna talk crazy about you if you on 557 00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:29,159 Speaker 1: the internet, and so people just want that relief, you 558 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,480 Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. Like, I never set out none 559 00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:33,960 Speaker 1: of these guys that sat out to be addicts or 560 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,160 Speaker 1: to be people that abuse substances, but they're just like, man, 561 00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:37,440 Speaker 1: I just want to change the way that I feel, 562 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,800 Speaker 1: give myself some sense of peace when I get home 563 00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:43,040 Speaker 1: because it's a stressful day, it's a stressful career, and 564 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:44,760 Speaker 1: I just want some relief. So that's why I feel 565 00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:47,200 Speaker 1: like guys kind of get started down that path without 566 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:48,720 Speaker 1: even having bad intentions, you know what I'm saying. 567 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:50,880 Speaker 2: Does the league try to help the players when they're 568 00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:52,960 Speaker 2: going through things, because I mean, it has to be difficult, 569 00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:55,159 Speaker 2: like you said, the pressure, I mean the pain to 570 00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:57,920 Speaker 2: you know, to play through it. Do they offer services 571 00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:00,560 Speaker 2: to help players or not too much or a lot? 572 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,399 Speaker 1: Yeah, they offer services like the teams will offer like 573 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:07,240 Speaker 1: you know, like pain management, like you got massages, you 574 00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:11,160 Speaker 1: got needles, yea. But yeah they have they got team counselors, 575 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:14,639 Speaker 1: like team clinicians that are available for guys. Some guys 576 00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:17,080 Speaker 1: use them, some guys don't. But there's a lot of 577 00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:19,920 Speaker 1: guys that are leaning more towards having therapists outside of 578 00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,040 Speaker 1: the building so they can kind of just like cut 579 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,880 Speaker 1: that tie from having it with the team. Like even 580 00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:26,679 Speaker 1: when I went to rehab, like the league paid for it, 581 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,640 Speaker 1: there was like a guy that was like a case 582 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:30,840 Speaker 1: manager for me who was calling my phone, blowing my 583 00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:32,840 Speaker 1: phone up, just like seeing how I was doing what 584 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:35,600 Speaker 1: I needed. So they definitely really helped me. And I 585 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,440 Speaker 1: feel like whenever guys are like, well, it's like okay, 586 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,199 Speaker 1: like I want to help myself, then they can take 587 00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:42,120 Speaker 1: advantage of the resources at hand. 588 00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:43,760 Speaker 4: Is the reason they don't want to use a team 589 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,359 Speaker 4: counselor because they don't trust them. Like I don't want 590 00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:47,080 Speaker 4: to share too much information with them because they might 591 00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:47,600 Speaker 4: take it back to. 592 00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:49,080 Speaker 1: The Yeah they're there. There are a lot of there 593 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:50,560 Speaker 1: are a lot of guys that that feel that way 594 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:52,639 Speaker 1: of like, yeah, I don't know if this is going 595 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:54,080 Speaker 1: to go back to the team, and the team says 596 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,199 Speaker 1: like that that's not going to happen, but you know, 597 00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,639 Speaker 1: it's like you know, as men, it's like, especially in 598 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:03,240 Speaker 1: this hypermasculine environment of football. It's like, if I show 599 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:05,960 Speaker 1: any kind of weakness, other teams, people across from me 600 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:07,920 Speaker 1: are gonna try to take advantage of that. I don't 601 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:10,760 Speaker 1: feel safe to share that here. And you know that's 602 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:12,000 Speaker 1: that's that's a legit emotion. 603 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:14,600 Speaker 4: What's been the most uh, what's been the most effective 604 00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,080 Speaker 4: healing tool for you? 605 00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:22,479 Speaker 1: Man? It's hard to pick one. Man. I would say 606 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:25,760 Speaker 1: I would say meditation played a huge role for me, 607 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:29,560 Speaker 1: just because, you know, making that a daily part of 608 00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:33,240 Speaker 1: my routine, it kind of gives me like a space, 609 00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:36,320 Speaker 1: like a pause when it comes to moments where it's 610 00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:39,720 Speaker 1: time to make decisions in my day to day life. 611 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:41,520 Speaker 1: A lot of times where I would make bad decisions, 612 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:42,920 Speaker 1: it was kind of like I was just reacting to 613 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,399 Speaker 1: things super fast, whereas meditation kind of gives you that 614 00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:49,479 Speaker 1: pause to allow you to be like, okay, like let 615 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,080 Speaker 1: me take a deep breath, is just really what I 616 00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:52,760 Speaker 1: want to do, and like it gives you an opportunity 617 00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:54,800 Speaker 1: to evaluate your decisions more So, I feel like that's 618 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:58,119 Speaker 1: something that definitely gave me a jump to to start 619 00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:00,479 Speaker 1: along with other things. But uh, that was probably one 620 00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:02,359 Speaker 1: of the first ones. Learning that it was just like wow, 621 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:05,040 Speaker 1: like I really have a chance to sit here and 622 00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:08,560 Speaker 1: not just have the world just have me blowing about 623 00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:10,639 Speaker 1: in the wind and the storms that come on a 624 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:12,800 Speaker 1: day to day, Like I can actually like stand firm 625 00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:13,880 Speaker 1: and make decisions I want to make. 626 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:16,920 Speaker 4: I'm trying to figure out like when you made these decisions, 627 00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:19,440 Speaker 4: whether it was the retired from the NFL or get 628 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:22,800 Speaker 4: a divorced, had you already started your healing journey? And 629 00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:25,200 Speaker 4: that's when when you started I guess peeling back those 630 00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,719 Speaker 4: legs when you realize, you know what, I need to 631 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,760 Speaker 4: move on from these things, or was it before get 632 00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:32,359 Speaker 4: rid of those things didn't start your healing journey? 633 00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:34,719 Speaker 1: The healing journey was kind of going all along and 634 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:38,720 Speaker 1: you kind of realize, like getting sober from drugs and 635 00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:41,760 Speaker 1: alcohol was really just the beginning of that journey. But 636 00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:43,640 Speaker 1: in ways I thought that that was like the completion 637 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:45,560 Speaker 1: because it was like those were my problems, like, oh, 638 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,760 Speaker 1: you's got to you drinks too much, a lot of drugs, 639 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:50,800 Speaker 1: Like okay, I changed that, but like there's still like 640 00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:53,720 Speaker 1: this feeling of uneasiness and like things that I'm reaching 641 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,159 Speaker 1: for to make me feel better, And so that journey 642 00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:58,000 Speaker 1: is always going on has always been going on the 643 00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:01,440 Speaker 1: last seven years, and just knew unfoldings of that new 644 00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:04,800 Speaker 1: things that I learned from like oh wow, from my childhood, 645 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:06,400 Speaker 1: Like that's why I am the way that I am. 646 00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:11,000 Speaker 1: That's why I seek worth out of relationships or from 647 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,920 Speaker 1: pleasing other people. Like it's connecting all those dots now 648 00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:15,800 Speaker 1: and it's like, Okay, it's starting to make sense. And 649 00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:18,040 Speaker 1: now it's like, all right, I actually have the courage 650 00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:20,639 Speaker 1: now to make decisions for me and knowing that I'm 651 00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:22,640 Speaker 1: trying to be a better man in the process of making. 652 00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:25,800 Speaker 4: Them, so you have that feeling of self worth that 653 00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:26,600 Speaker 4: you've been looking for. 654 00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:29,240 Speaker 1: Now, Yeah, it's growing, man, I can honestly say it's growing. 655 00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:33,719 Speaker 1: And whereas before it was like nonexistent, this is like, 656 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:35,480 Speaker 1: you know, I'm one of the best players in my 657 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,800 Speaker 1: position in the league and still you know, trying to 658 00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:40,800 Speaker 1: find that. Like there was a vivid memory I had 659 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:43,640 Speaker 1: of like a two hundred yard game in twenty twenty 660 00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:46,240 Speaker 1: and the Wednesday practice after that, I'm lining up for 661 00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:47,919 Speaker 1: routes on air. I ain't you know, defense out there, 662 00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:50,320 Speaker 1: and I'm like, all right, like, don't drop this past 663 00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:52,240 Speaker 1: in my mind when really like I just did something 664 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,240 Speaker 1: like only five other people in my position I ever 665 00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,240 Speaker 1: done in the history of the League. Right, So it's 666 00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:59,520 Speaker 1: a it's a it's been a lifelong thing, man, and 667 00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:02,000 Speaker 1: I can find they say it's starting to grow. And 668 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:05,600 Speaker 1: sometimes it takes making courageous decisions and standing up on 669 00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:07,320 Speaker 1: something that a lot of people may not agree with. 670 00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:09,680 Speaker 1: But that's the way. 671 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,280 Speaker 3: What about your foundation did Darren Waller Foundation? 672 00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:15,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, man, that's the decision that, like I talked about 673 00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:17,640 Speaker 1: the League giving me opportunity to go to treatment for free, 674 00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:21,200 Speaker 1: and it's like, through getting sober, I kind of realized, 675 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,360 Speaker 1: like my world is a lot better, a lot more 676 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:27,040 Speaker 1: full when it's just bigger than me. I'm doing a 677 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:28,679 Speaker 1: lot of being able to do things for other people. 678 00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:31,320 Speaker 1: And so through my foundation, we are able to get people' 679 00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:33,920 Speaker 1: scholtshops to go to treatment for thirty days and also 680 00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:37,400 Speaker 1: have like sober living opportunities, just opportunities to get back 681 00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:39,520 Speaker 1: on their feet. And we've sent like sixty people through 682 00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:43,840 Speaker 1: thirty day stays and that numbers continuing to go up, 683 00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:47,760 Speaker 1: continuing to build resources in the Vegas community, just you know, 684 00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:50,920 Speaker 1: trying to give people opportunity because I mean I didn't 685 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:52,359 Speaker 1: know that I'd be able to have the impact that 686 00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:54,080 Speaker 1: I've been able to have in my life back when 687 00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:56,080 Speaker 1: I was, you know, kind of stuck in that hole. 688 00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,720 Speaker 1: And you know, all you gotta do is impact one person, 689 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:02,520 Speaker 1: because through me being impacted a lot of other people 690 00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:04,240 Speaker 1: will be able to be helped. So it's just like 691 00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:05,320 Speaker 1: giving that person a chance. 692 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:06,479 Speaker 3: So you still live in Vegas? 693 00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:08,840 Speaker 1: Yeahs is that hard me? 694 00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:11,800 Speaker 4: And that your ex wife plays there like you probably 695 00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:12,960 Speaker 4: got to see posters and stuff in. 696 00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:13,480 Speaker 3: Her all the time. 697 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:16,399 Speaker 1: No, I mean it's not Uh, it's not anything of 698 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:19,520 Speaker 1: wishing any type of ill will or any type of resentment. 699 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:22,040 Speaker 1: Like I want her to be great. I want her 700 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:23,600 Speaker 1: to be happy. I want her to be at peace 701 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:26,520 Speaker 1: and feel fulfilled in her life, just like anybody else, 702 00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:27,880 Speaker 1: you know. And I have a lot of great connections 703 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:30,840 Speaker 1: in Vegas. People that I've met and foreign friendships with 704 00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:33,440 Speaker 1: that are there for me. That community has been there 705 00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:35,200 Speaker 1: for me, and I've done a lot in that community. 706 00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:36,560 Speaker 1: So I feel like that's somewhere I want to be 707 00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:40,119 Speaker 1: for a little while. Do you love yourself? I do 708 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:40,760 Speaker 1: love myself? 709 00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:44,560 Speaker 3: Okay, Like I mean, like, did you just get to 710 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:45,359 Speaker 3: that place that you've. 711 00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:48,840 Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, it's it's it's relatively new for sure. It's 712 00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:52,520 Speaker 1: taking like struggles and seeing myself like really as I am, 713 00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:55,560 Speaker 1: with all the all the good, all the bad, like 714 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:57,520 Speaker 1: whatever you want to call it. But it's like I 715 00:27:57,520 --> 00:27:59,560 Speaker 1: can look at myself now and it's like there is 716 00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:01,320 Speaker 1: no more of woice inside of me that wants to 717 00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:04,159 Speaker 1: beat me down. It's one that wants to build me 718 00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,119 Speaker 1: up and encourage myself because it's like, yeah, maybe walking 719 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:09,359 Speaker 1: paths now that a lot of people they look like 720 00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:11,600 Speaker 1: at me like I'm crazy, like my life is falling 721 00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:14,400 Speaker 1: apart in a way, but it's it's it's funny and ironic. 722 00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:17,080 Speaker 1: How when it looks like things are falling apart from me, 723 00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:19,560 Speaker 1: it feels like things are coming together. So that's all 724 00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:20,239 Speaker 1: you can ask for it. 725 00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:21,399 Speaker 4: The only reason I asked that is because you know, 726 00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:23,439 Speaker 4: your first, last, and best love is self love. So 727 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:25,280 Speaker 4: it's like until you get that self love, you can't 728 00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:26,520 Speaker 4: love anything else. 729 00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:27,480 Speaker 1: Or anybody else. 730 00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:32,160 Speaker 4: That's a fact, football wife nothing. So that's why that's 731 00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:33,080 Speaker 4: why I asked that question. 732 00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:34,680 Speaker 3: What did you think? 733 00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:35,680 Speaker 4: And I knew I said it was gonna be the 734 00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:37,280 Speaker 4: last question about when you saw her statement about it 735 00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:39,400 Speaker 4: I'm devastated. I walked through fire for that man. But 736 00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:42,200 Speaker 4: now I see it's time to go. And she said 737 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:43,920 Speaker 4: one day I'm gonna share my story. Today is not 738 00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:46,360 Speaker 4: that day. You know, what did you think of that 739 00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:46,959 Speaker 4: whole statement? 740 00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:50,240 Speaker 1: I feel like she has she has every right to 741 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:54,640 Speaker 1: express herself in whichever way that she chooses, because, like 742 00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:58,240 Speaker 1: I said, I know I was never perfect, and you 743 00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:00,680 Speaker 1: know some of the reasons that motivated me to they 744 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:03,280 Speaker 1: caused harm, They hurt, you know what I'm saying. So 745 00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:07,000 Speaker 1: I respects whatever way she wants to express herself. You know, 746 00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:09,440 Speaker 1: I'm out here trying to improve and by no means 747 00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:11,400 Speaker 1: claiming to be a victim in any way, you know. 748 00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:13,680 Speaker 1: So I'm all good with it. 749 00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:14,880 Speaker 3: Absolutely all right. 750 00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:17,400 Speaker 4: Well, Darren Waller, ladies, and do you believe there's a 751 00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:22,000 Speaker 4: script that owners and refs are a part of the 752 00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:23,720 Speaker 4: outcome of games, because that's been a thing that we've 753 00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:25,360 Speaker 4: been hearing. And you're retired now. I don't know if 754 00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:28,440 Speaker 4: you're planning to go back, but feel free to spill 755 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,520 Speaker 4: any secrets that you know. Is there a script? 756 00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:31,760 Speaker 2: Keep in mind he's a Cowboys fan. 757 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:34,240 Speaker 4: Just want to I don't believe in the script. But 758 00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:36,040 Speaker 4: I believe if there was a script, Cowboys would have 759 00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:37,480 Speaker 4: been the Super Bowl champions at least te or four 760 00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:38,400 Speaker 4: times over the last. 761 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, the Cowboys are way too talented to not have 762 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:41,520 Speaker 1: won one yet. 763 00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:44,160 Speaker 3: Money and make too much money forget the talent. 764 00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:45,280 Speaker 4: I'm just saying, if there was a script, you don't 765 00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:47,160 Speaker 4: think Jerry Jones are paid to win the Super Bowl. 766 00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:49,600 Speaker 1: I don't know, man, I don't know if any scripts. 767 00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:51,760 Speaker 1: If I had a script, man, I would have had 768 00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:53,680 Speaker 1: one that had me at least win one playoff game 769 00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:57,479 Speaker 1: in my career. But yeah, no, I don't know if 770 00:29:57,480 --> 00:29:58,160 Speaker 1: any scripts. 771 00:29:58,240 --> 00:29:59,800 Speaker 2: And now, out of the three teams you played for, 772 00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:01,800 Speaker 2: the even Raiders and Giants, which which was the best 773 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:02,720 Speaker 2: organization for you? 774 00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:06,520 Speaker 1: Man? In a way, they all were, To be honest, 775 00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,600 Speaker 1: the Ravens taught me. Being with the Ravens taught me 776 00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:12,640 Speaker 1: a lot of hard lessons, really forced me to grow 777 00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:15,160 Speaker 1: up in a lot of ways. And you know that 778 00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:17,920 Speaker 1: last year being there on the practice squad, it gave 779 00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:20,160 Speaker 1: me the tools and the work ethic to be able 780 00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:22,720 Speaker 1: to sustain the level of success that I did once 781 00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:24,880 Speaker 1: I got it. So I'm grateful for that. But the 782 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:28,680 Speaker 1: Raiders had all the great memories man, like the great seasons, 783 00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:32,560 Speaker 1: just like the guys that form relationships with coaches that 784 00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:35,760 Speaker 1: I had that was that was the fun ride. But 785 00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:37,880 Speaker 1: I mean I had a blast with the Giants this 786 00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:40,520 Speaker 1: last year too, man, like all the coaches and the 787 00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:43,160 Speaker 1: guys in that locker room. Man, I had a great time. 788 00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:45,400 Speaker 1: And my decision to retire had nothing to do with 789 00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:48,280 Speaker 1: my time there. You know. We Uh, I had a 790 00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:50,360 Speaker 1: great time with them and wish them nothing but the best. 791 00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:52,080 Speaker 1: But if you had to, if I had to pick one, 792 00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:53,720 Speaker 1: it probably be the Raiders for show. I mean, that's 793 00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:56,120 Speaker 1: where my career took off, my life change. I was 794 00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:58,680 Speaker 1: able to do things for my family, for the community 795 00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:01,000 Speaker 1: through just having a chance that they gave me. 796 00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:03,920 Speaker 3: So you know, you're completely done with football, like you just. 797 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, really, yeah, thousand percent. 798 00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:09,880 Speaker 3: Wow, You're not gonna miss nothing about the game? 799 00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:12,400 Speaker 1: Oh No, that that the game is always going to 800 00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:14,760 Speaker 1: be something I hold in high regard and love. And 801 00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:17,280 Speaker 1: I'll miss that locker room environment, you know what I'm saying, 802 00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:19,480 Speaker 1: being in there with those guys and just cutting up, man, 803 00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:23,080 Speaker 1: just uh and walking through the struggles together because it's like, 804 00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:24,520 Speaker 1: you know, you might go out there and get your 805 00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:27,080 Speaker 1: ass whooped on Sunday. But those moments where you're there 806 00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:28,800 Speaker 1: in there picking guys up in the locker room and 807 00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:31,400 Speaker 1: standing from when a lot of people may be pointing 808 00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:34,040 Speaker 1: fingers and doing that, but as men you kind of 809 00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:36,040 Speaker 1: lock arms and walk through lock like those are Those 810 00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:38,000 Speaker 1: are cool moments, man. Those are moments that a lot 811 00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:40,440 Speaker 1: of people don't get to experience. So I'll definitely miss those. 812 00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:42,520 Speaker 1: I'll miss playing. You know, you get a rush from 813 00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:44,320 Speaker 1: making a big play, making a difference in the game, 814 00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:46,840 Speaker 1: but you know, I can get that feeling in a 815 00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:49,520 Speaker 1: lot of other ways now and just ready to move on. 816 00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:52,120 Speaker 4: We'll see when the season starts. We'll see when you're 817 00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:54,040 Speaker 4: sitting at home watching on Sunday, if you get. 818 00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:55,360 Speaker 1: That itch, yeah, we'll see. 819 00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:57,719 Speaker 4: That's what I don't believe a person's truly retired soil 820 00:31:57,720 --> 00:31:59,280 Speaker 4: they can watch it and be like, Okay, I'm good 821 00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:00,000 Speaker 4: for sure. 822 00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:01,840 Speaker 2: All right, Well it's Darren Waller. 823 00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:02,800 Speaker 3: It's the Breakfast Cloak. 824 00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:03,400 Speaker 2: Good morning, thank you. 825 00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:06,880 Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning for Breakfast Club.