Speaker 1: So I guess the question is, can you go to
Speaker 1: your friend's orgy if you never hooked up with them?
Speaker 2: Yes, of course that's a great spot to do it.
Speaker 2: And when you get there, just check in with the
Speaker 2: cum dumb concierge and concierge. Oh, every orgy has a
Speaker 2: good cum dumb concierge.
Speaker 1: You know what. This is a safe space to talk
Speaker 1: about relationships, love and sex. Now, let me tell you
Speaker 1: something messy. I went to lunch with one of my friends.
Speaker 1: If you listen to the Subsect Live, which happens on
Speaker 1: Monday nights, messy Monday that night. I told this story
Speaker 1: this past Monday, which is that my friend and I
Speaker 1: were having lunch and then she she was telling me
Speaker 1: that she went to you know, like a gay party,
Speaker 1: gay dance floor party, and she walked by two people fucking,
Speaker 1: and you know, she like wasn't really thrown by it.
Speaker 1: You know, the boys are gonna fuck on the dance floor.
Speaker 1: It is what it is. But then she said, moments later,
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, she smelled shit. Sorry for those
Speaker 1: of you who might be squamish. Right now, we'll call
Speaker 1: it booboo so it feels more more relatable. So she
Speaker 1: smelled boo boo, and she looked over and no one
Speaker 1: was reacting because the gays are esty, the gays are
Speaker 1: used to it. But here's what I'll say, I am not.
Speaker 1: I have also fucked on the dance floor, been fucked
Speaker 1: on the dance floor, and I think it's a lovely, beautiful,
Speaker 1: romantic thing to do to have sex on the dance floor. Obviously,
Speaker 1: give you know, the right context, like, don't fuck on
Speaker 1: the dance floor. It like I don't know somebody's baby shower,
Speaker 1: but uh, oh god, here's somebody's wedding. That'd be a
Speaker 1: wild unless you know that's the vibe of the wedding.
Speaker 1: But you know, like at like a queer dance party,
Speaker 1: you know, after midnight, you know, one pm, two am,
Speaker 1: three am. Yeah, fuck on the dance floor, but you
Speaker 1: must you have to know that you are clear to
Speaker 1: do that. You know what I'm saying. And the water
Speaker 1: was clear, you know what I'm saying. I would never
Speaker 1: risk fucking on the dance floor if there was even
Speaker 1: the semblance of a gurgle in my stomach, Do you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. If I felt just even the
Speaker 1: slightest gurgle, in my stomach. We are not fucking on
Speaker 1: the dance floor. We got a fuck in a private
Speaker 1: place because nobody booboo out of water. Let's talk about it.
Speaker 1: The water in the toilet is doing a lot of
Speaker 1: important work, and I don't think we appreciate that enough.
Speaker 1: We just be flushing and be grateful. But y'all, that
Speaker 1: water in the toilet is doing God's work because booboo
Speaker 1: outside of the toilet, like human boo boo, right, like
Speaker 1: my dog poops and it ain't that bad, Like I
Speaker 1: cleaned up, you know, with the with the poopy bag whatnot.
Speaker 1: It's not crazy. It's and also this evening outside, but
Speaker 1: human boo boo, human boo boo. Those of you who
Speaker 1: have babies, human boo outside of the that shit is
Speaker 1: it don't smell right, So you really have to know
Speaker 1: before you ho is what I'm saying. If you are
Speaker 1: going to fuck on the dance floor and you took
Speaker 1: some substances that might rupture your stomach, you want to
Speaker 1: have that ammodium. You know what I'm saying, Which the
Speaker 1: doctor that's probably telling you not to take that emodium.
Speaker 1: But I'm gonna just tell you from a from a
Speaker 1: from a gay dance floor, fucking on the dance standpoint,
Speaker 1: put that amodium in your body. You don't make sure
Speaker 1: that just a little extra uh extra what's the word
Speaker 1: I'm looking for? I hate when I can't find my word.
Speaker 1: It's a little extra security, extra security, extra booboo security. Okay,
Speaker 1: is that a little amodium? If you have a little gas,
Speaker 1: that's happening, A little gas X helping you rid of
Speaker 1: some of that gas. But don't just be fucking on
Speaker 1: the dance floor and not knowing. If you listen, shit happens,
Speaker 1: but it doesn't have to happen on the dance floor.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's what I'm trying to say. By the way,
Speaker 1: welcome to the show. This is telling me something messy.
Speaker 1: I'm your host, Brandon call goodness. Some people call me
Speaker 1: messy mom, but you could call me booboo security because
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make sure that boo boo stays secure inside
Speaker 1: of your colon where it belongs, or the toilet bowl
Speaker 1: unless it's your kink, in which case you know, go off.
Speaker 1: Can I tell you about that time and Amsterdam somebody
Speaker 1: wanted me to shit on them, but like we didn't
Speaker 1: talk about it beforehand. I might have told you all this,
Speaker 1: but whatever I was. I'm like a year and a
Speaker 1: half ago, and I met up with this guy like
Speaker 1: like at six in the morning. Obviously I was coming
Speaker 1: from out and it was supposed to be just like
Speaker 1: a hookup situation. One red flag was there was already
Speaker 1: a second person there, which I didn't know about, so
Speaker 1: that was it should be a flag. But like, the
Speaker 1: second person was cool, so I was like, all right, cool,
Speaker 1: we cool. And then the dude who invited both of
Speaker 1: us wanted me to shit on him. That's not happening.
Speaker 1: Then he just wanted to to fuck me, even though
Speaker 1: I wasn't douche. I said, that's not happening. Then he
Speaker 1: wanted me to fuck him, and he wasn't douche. I
Speaker 1: said that's not happening, and so we we compromised, and
Speaker 1: I pissed on him. It was the first time I
Speaker 1: peed in his mouth. It was the first time that
Speaker 1: I ever peed on somebody, because I'm usually pea shy,
Speaker 1: but it was six am and my bladder was like,
Speaker 1: get this out of me. And so we went to
Speaker 1: the shower and I peed into his mouth and I
Speaker 1: peeed too fast, almost choked him out, and so because
Speaker 1: I'd never done it, He's like, you have to go slower,
Speaker 1: and so I went slower. But I don't know why.
Speaker 1: I'm totally oh because boob secure. Yeah, my boo boo
Speaker 1: stays inside me or in the colon or in twillow bowl.
Speaker 1: It's just not I just won't be putting that on
Speaker 1: another person, not on purpose. Okay, I don't know how
Speaker 1: to seguay out of this ring that doorbell. Maybe you
Speaker 1: know what that means. It is time for our guest.
Speaker 1: Now while they get situated and before we get our
Speaker 1: messy Kikey started, let me remind you that we are
Speaker 1: trying to get to two hundred and sixty ratings and
Speaker 1: reviews by the end of the month. So give me
Speaker 1: a favor and rate review and subscribe to this podcast
Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcast. It really helps the show.
Speaker 1: And you know, when you write your review, it don't
Speaker 1: have to be long. It could just be I love
Speaker 1: the show, I love Brandon Messy, his life, whatever it is.
Speaker 1: And give us this five star review. Honey. Okay, it
Speaker 1: really really really does help the show out. Okay, now
Speaker 1: for our home manifestel, grant me the serenity to unpack
Speaker 1: my shame, the courage to heal, the wisdom to know
Speaker 1: that sex is not about penetration, the audacity to advocate
Speaker 1: for my pleasure and boundaries, to not call my ex
Speaker 1: that fuck boy, fuck girl, or fuck they, for it
Speaker 1: is better to masturbabe by myself in peace than to
Speaker 1: let someone play in my motherfucking face. Let the hommunity
Speaker 1: say ho helujah. I am so excited to have Willem
Speaker 1: on the show. Willielm is an actor, podcaster, author, and
Speaker 1: we wearing YouTuber who wrote the bottoming national anthem this
Speaker 1: boy is a botom. I love that song. After being
Speaker 1: disqualified on RuPaul's Drag Race a decade plus ago. Willelm
Speaker 1: lost two Emmys for his work on Netflix's East Siders,
Speaker 1: but at least his album Shortest Street in Motion debut
Speaker 1: at number one on the Billboard Comedy Chart. Watch the
Speaker 1: rise and fall of his second girl group in Access
Speaker 1: All Areas, The AAA Girls documentary, now available on out
Speaker 1: TV and Apple, also the home of williem Show's iconic
Speaker 1: Justice and Fucking Smart. Please welcome to the show, Willem.
Speaker 1: Hi elam hi. I'm sorry You're finally here. This is
Speaker 1: so exciting. Okay, before we get into it, let me
Speaker 1: give you our messy mandates, which I should know, my heart.
Speaker 1: But here we go. Things get to be on process.
Speaker 1: Any thoughts or opinions shared have the right to shift, change,
Speaker 1: evolve today, tomorrow, ten years from now. And if during
Speaker 1: the kigi something feels too personal or unintentionally offends, we
Speaker 1: use to say for it, give me some love again
Speaker 1: today foosball or some a love. A guess which gives
Speaker 1: us a chance to pause and address or pivot accordingly.
Speaker 1: Sound good?
Speaker 3: Sounds great?
Speaker 1: Shall we do a lube breaker?
Speaker 3: Hit me?
Speaker 1: Okay? I love it? Okay, well, bitch.
Speaker 2: I was at this club in Lancaster talk Club Expose
Speaker 2: this weekend with the girls, and they had mint chocolate
Speaker 2: chip flavored lube in the vending machine by the Funians
Speaker 2: and the Dorito Wait, mint chocolate flavored mint chocolate chip,
Speaker 2: strawberry peaches.
Speaker 1: Why would I want that in my lube? Have you?
Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't but you said lube and
Speaker 2: I was like, let me tell you, yes, the blue breaker.
Speaker 1: The blue breaker, the chocolate mint chocolate chip lube would
Speaker 1: be I guess do you put it?
Speaker 3: Maybe doing girl Scout cookie season.
Speaker 1: That's it. That's the only time you want it. I'm
Speaker 1: just going you want this thin mint? Okay? I hate them,
Speaker 1: I hate them all right? Shall we play a smash
Speaker 1: or pass?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: Okay, smash or pass? Very simple orgies, smash smash.
Speaker 3: What is the biggest passed me around?
Speaker 1: What is the biggest orgy you've been to?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 3: Probably like sixty people.
Speaker 1: Sixty people.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we were in fucking all of them. I was
Speaker 3: only fucking two people.
Speaker 1: Okay, got you, got cha? But the vibes were you
Speaker 1: in a house? Was it outside?
Speaker 3: Was it was not a leash?
Speaker 1: Yeah? It was.
Speaker 3: It was by area. It's just cauture runway leash. It's
Speaker 3: so cute.
Speaker 2: It's like leather with like all these studs and stones alternating,
Speaker 2: and then it goes down to the wrist.
Speaker 3: It's got a wristlet. Yeah. And I was just like,
Speaker 3: don't get lub on.
Speaker 1: This belase, do not get your chocolate.
Speaker 3: It's run It was runway. Wow the orgy. I gave
Speaker 3: it to money. I wore the squirt shoes.
Speaker 1: You were serving.
Speaker 3: See.
Speaker 1: I've always afraid at those parties they're gonna mess it
Speaker 1: up and if they spill, you know, if they spill
Speaker 1: a drink or something on my shoes, I get very upset.
Speaker 1: So I have I have shoes and wear for oh yes,
Speaker 1: you know, for the bloody of it. So, but of
Speaker 1: course smash your past being fingered.
Speaker 3: It depends on the finger.
Speaker 1: Tell me what's the what's the finger? That's divine?
Speaker 2: If they're looking for something like, no, what are you
Speaker 2: doing now?
Speaker 1: They're searching?
Speaker 3: Get what do you try it?
Speaker 2: But what do you think it's going on down there,
Speaker 2: that there's some secret latch of doors gonna pop open?
Speaker 3: I'm with you, No, you need to know what you're doing.
Speaker 2: And if it's an addition to a tongue and something else,
Speaker 2: definitely smash.
Speaker 3: But yeah, no, and nails count.
Speaker 1: I'm like, cut it off. What are we talking about.
Speaker 1: We're not fingering on left, we got that. It's crazy
Speaker 1: trying to slice up your gut.
Speaker 2: No, and don't be trying to put your thumb in
Speaker 2: just because you got four fingers in.
Speaker 3: That is a whole nother question.
Speaker 2: That is that is team Yeah, I tell your friend
Speaker 2: has to get out before you put you another hand in.
Speaker 1: But yeah, yeah, yeah, we're not trying to get double fisted.
Speaker 3: No, but bit I was in doubt.
Speaker 1: Never smash for past being jerked off with feet if I.
Speaker 3: Do it or they oh so I'll say smash, smash.
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna u somebody' jump. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I love it. I've never had my feet
Speaker 1: jerked my dick jerked off with feet, but I would
Speaker 1: be into it.
Speaker 2: I think I definitely got to fucked once because I
Speaker 2: thought a guy was I was blindfolded and gagged on
Speaker 2: the floor and I thought a guy was raw dogging me.
Speaker 2: And this was before PREP, like two thousand and maybe six,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, no undos again, and I was like,
Speaker 2: that's not cool. We talked about condoms. Yeah, I felt
Speaker 2: skin and it was like obviously inside me.
Speaker 3: He's like, that was my big toe, you pig. And
Speaker 3: I was like, okay, okay, perceived.
Speaker 2: Yeah, tones were fine, it was just the big toe.
Speaker 2: It was a big well. I felt like a big dickhead,
Speaker 2: you know. Yeah, And I was like, this is in me.
Speaker 2: I was like, I wanted this was when you wore condoms.
Speaker 2: It was drilled in two thousands before some of you
Speaker 2: were born.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so that was.
Speaker 1: I've never fucked with a big toe. Would I let
Speaker 1: a big to inside of me? Would you let a
Speaker 1: big to inside you again?
Speaker 3: Would I own a house? Or would I on a mouse? Yeah?
Speaker 3: I'm down, I'm down.
Speaker 1: You won the game. You won the game. Congratulations you
Speaker 1: and my unconditional love as you well know, and you
Speaker 1: already had it, so all right. If y'all have submissions,
Speaker 1: you can email me tell me something messy at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com. Speaking of which, Willa, can you tell me
Speaker 1: something messy?
Speaker 2: I can tell you a lot of things messy. My
Speaker 2: favorite messy story is because this happens to everybody. Yeah,
Speaker 2: everybody poops. It was a sexy time and like there
Speaker 2: were like more than three lesson six people in the
Speaker 2: room and someone was like, oh uh uh oh sorry,
Speaker 2: turn on the lights. And I was like what. I
Speaker 2: was like, no, I'm star bottom. This doesn't happen to me.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, no no.
Speaker 2: And they're like, oh, it's just a little bit of poop.
Speaker 2: I was like no, but he was like no. I
Speaker 2: was like, you know, I keep going to turn these
Speaker 2: lights on, to turn the lights on, it's blood. I
Speaker 2: was like, I told you, I told you, y'all should
Speaker 2: have gone one at a time, Like I told you,
Speaker 2: kept the fingers out and then you would have broken
Speaker 2: your toy.
Speaker 3: We been able to play all night. Now I got
Speaker 3: a blow bang yard.
Speaker 1: Yeah that is the worst.
Speaker 3: In the barrel.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: No, oh okay, okay, yeah, get we let my saper
Speaker 2: not sleep on it after that.
Speaker 3: You didn't know?
Speaker 1: Wow, I would never would never know. Also probably smells
Speaker 1: the spot I have had to stop after. Yeah, after
Speaker 1: being fucked too long and then yeah, the blood happens.
Speaker 1: It is always, but never poop because I'm like, I know,
Speaker 1: I know, I know what she does. I know to
Speaker 1: keep when you know you know, you know? All right,
Speaker 1: shall we do some messy mail?
Speaker 3: I would love that.
Speaker 1: Okay, Gorge, time for messy mail. Remember all your submissions remade,
Speaker 1: not a bess. Okay, this first one says, which is
Speaker 1: just kind of a brag, and I want to celebrate them.
Speaker 1: They said I made a bottom come hands free just
Speaker 1: by rooming him. I feel accomplished. Have you ever made
Speaker 1: a bottom come or has anyone made you come just
Speaker 1: by eating you?
Speaker 3: No? But that's when people do that.
Speaker 2: They mainly don't have access to the pros state, which
Speaker 2: is like I mean, I say, for straight guys, it's
Speaker 2: a cool trick because God put it in their buta hole,
Speaker 2: so they got to dig for it. But if you're
Speaker 2: eating somebody out, I don't usually see anybody like knuckling
Speaker 2: the prostate from there. And then if your tongue is
Speaker 2: in there, has your finger in there?
Speaker 3: So?
Speaker 2: Or maybe both? But no, it hasn't happened to me.
Speaker 2: I've come hands free, definitely, but mouth no from being disrespected.
Speaker 1: You'd love to disrespect it. I don't have ever made
Speaker 1: anyone come hands free by eating them out. Have I
Speaker 1: come hands free from being eaten out? I don't think so,
Speaker 1: But it sounds exciting.
Speaker 3: Unless worthy task.
Speaker 1: It's a worthy task, it's a worthy pursuit, a worthy mission.
Speaker 1: I think like if I've been jerking, if I've been edging,
Speaker 1: there's probably a chance. But I don't think like if
Speaker 1: there's been no touching up my dick, I don't think
Speaker 1: that I could just but shout out to you know this?
Speaker 1: You know hello? That's a good song. Okay, respect it.
Speaker 1: This one says, do you.
Speaker 3: Say wide wired? Oh?
Speaker 1: Wired has a wide tongue? Absolutely good. I'm starting to
Speaker 1: accept the guy I have feelings for really does have
Speaker 1: a boyfriend. My question for you is, have you ever
Speaker 1: won fell for somebody who was in a relationship or
Speaker 1: what do you think about this kind of Uh? What
Speaker 1: I think is a pattern of people falling for somebody
Speaker 1: who's in a relationship.
Speaker 3: I mean, people seem to attract the same thing.
Speaker 1: I guess a little bit. What do you want to
Speaker 1: tell you?
Speaker 2: They repeat themselves with patterns. Sure, yeah, yeah, until they
Speaker 2: don't want the results of that pattern anymore.
Speaker 1: Maybe preach so soft?
Speaker 3: Wait what was the question?
Speaker 1: I guess it was it is like, have you ever
Speaker 1: fallen in love with somebody or fell for somebody feeling
Speaker 1: for somebody who's in a relationship and like still wanted
Speaker 1: to be with them, or have you had that you know,
Speaker 1: like experience.
Speaker 3: I've only been in one relationship.
Speaker 1: Oh long, you've been a relationship.
Speaker 2: I was in it from two thousand and two until
Speaker 2: twenty fifteen.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's a long relationship.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm like still married doing what we're separating? Okay,
Speaker 2: here's my learning. He's my lawyer, he's your lawyer.
Speaker 1: Yeah work, Okay, wait, I want to know more about this.
Speaker 2: But I mean, he's the guy from drag Race that
Speaker 2: like got me disqualified, like that guy.
Speaker 1: Oh that guy okay, which I'll still cool. Yeah, work, Okay, work.
Speaker 1: I think that people. Here's what I'll say. If you're
Speaker 1: falling for somebody who's a boyfriend and you're saying, I
Speaker 1: have to admit that they have a boyfriend, it's this
Speaker 1: fear of actually being liked back. Do you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying? So like falling, like if I know that
Speaker 1: your relationship and I'm not accepting that, there is to
Speaker 1: me a fear of being with somebody who I know
Speaker 1: I can actually have, And so I spend my energy
Speaker 1: on somebody who clearly I know is out of a relationship.
Speaker 3: That makes sense.
Speaker 1: That makes sense, right, That's I think I've talked about
Speaker 1: this before, but I think that happens a lot also
Speaker 1: with gays falling for straight guys. So when somebody tells me, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm always crushing on a straight guy, I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: it's because you know that you can't have him or.
Speaker 3: Like you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but like, okay, you can have him, but you
Speaker 1: get like have him you have not? Maybe I guess
Speaker 1: I guess that's not wrong, that's correct it. Okay, this
Speaker 1: one says, my appointment, why would I block this in
Speaker 1: my dick? Appointment wants to talk about feelings, but it's
Speaker 1: now lacking in the bed. Should I leave him alone?
Speaker 1: What do you think?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: Tell him be like if this was a month ago,
Speaker 2: when you were nailing me to the wall, we could
Speaker 2: talk about that. But right now I'm not really getting
Speaker 2: what I need, So I'm gonna be exploring some other
Speaker 2: options and then maybe he'll give you the fuck of
Speaker 2: a lifetime.
Speaker 1: That's clear.
Speaker 2: And then yeah, I was reading this one guy's book
Speaker 2: right now and he talks about like having this argument
Speaker 2: with this guy and then like he's like I went
Speaker 2: back and tears on my eyes. I fucked him twice
Speaker 2: and I was like work. He's like, yeah, it was
Speaker 2: like their breakup and I was like, work, bitch.
Speaker 1: That breakup sect can really be special.
Speaker 2: It's Ryan Russell's memoir The Longest or Between the Yards
Speaker 2: or something.
Speaker 3: Okay, it's a good book.
Speaker 1: Okay. I was like, I'll get it. Yes, right when
Speaker 1: you're like yeah, I mean I agree with you, I
Speaker 1: think communicate because if it was But I will also
Speaker 1: say thought I thought they said how long they've been together,
Speaker 1: because I'm like, how long have y'all been talking for
Speaker 1: the sex to start slacking? Yeah? But yeah, if you're
Speaker 1: talking about feelings. I think. I think it's fair to
Speaker 1: be like, hey, you know, we can have a conversation,
Speaker 1: but like.
Speaker 3: You know, I need to be feeling something else.
Speaker 1: I need a little deeper.
Speaker 3: Yeah, these feelings, feelings.
Speaker 1: I want tears in my eyes. For different reasons, we.
Speaker 3: Go behind the bleachers a pride.
Speaker 1: I don't know about all that. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you know, not get the drawer unless you know.
Speaker 3: No, you can have a delta tooth brush. We have
Speaker 3: courtesy by the door.
Speaker 1: ADULTA tooth brush is uninged but correct. This one says,
Speaker 1: what is your advice on pube etiquette? Your preference? I
Speaker 1: love me a forehead cushion. So two questions, what's your
Speaker 1: what is your advice on pupetdy kit? And what is
Speaker 1: your preference?
Speaker 2: I say, whatever you do, trim it off the shaft.
Speaker 2: If guys have like a little bit that goes on
Speaker 2: the shaft as a top, they don't know that, like
Speaker 2: that can be like irritating to the inside of a
Speaker 2: bottom's Like, so if you're really hairy and it goes
Speaker 2: up your shaft, that can be a bummer.
Speaker 3: What else I just say, like you could always like
Speaker 3: leave an indication.
Speaker 2: I don't think it ever needs to be ballballed, the
Speaker 2: lowest one the indication of like whatever.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, love that.
Speaker 2: And also the best tip I think I can recommend
Speaker 2: as a product called tense Skin. It's like a some
Speaker 2: sort of like acid that makes your skin not as
Speaker 2: susceptible to ingrowns because when people are shaving down there,
Speaker 2: then they got friction because like baby, I start a
Speaker 2: fire my thighs.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the whole time.
Speaker 2: So like when I shave, I can get ingrownes there
Speaker 2: or red bumps, like the next day, like I went
Speaker 2: in the ocean after shaving or something like that. Sometimes
Speaker 2: they pop up and this is something that get sort
Speaker 2: of ingrowns. So you're not like because sometimes you're like, oh,
Speaker 2: take take a picture, take a video. And I was like, fuck,
Speaker 2: that's what that looked like. It's okay, I ate around
Speaker 2: it and I was like, oh but but oh, like
Speaker 2: I was like I didn't know it looked like that
Speaker 2: because like if I shaved my butt and I had
Speaker 2: no idea when I was a kid. The first time
Speaker 2: I have had laser since, so like, I don't have
Speaker 2: to recommend laser.
Speaker 3: Electrolysis is better, got way better, got you.
Speaker 1: I used to sugar my whole and then I stopped,
Speaker 1: and now my hold's harry because my partner prefers it
Speaker 1: that way. But but I when I will say this,
Speaker 1: when I have a shaved pussy, I feel really powerful
Speaker 1: because it's like summer.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this summery, just.
Speaker 1: Like free.
Speaker 3: Summer time.
Speaker 1: That's what that song is about. I prefer I don't
Speaker 1: actually have a preference. It's like whatever makes you comfortable.
Speaker 1: But I do think that that shaft tip is really
Speaker 1: spot on. I will say for myself, I just shave
Speaker 1: it all off because I'm lazy, because.
Speaker 3: I really be.
Speaker 1: I'd be so impressed when the dolls be like the
Speaker 1: dolls the boys they be like all shaved perfectly, and
Speaker 1: yeah yeah, yeah, I'm like wow, like y'all gardener's down there,
Speaker 1: and I'm just.
Speaker 2: Not I'm like, I love that. I'm not going to
Speaker 2: shove my face in it any differently.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be the same ques you go and choke
Speaker 1: me out no matter what. So I just like shave
Speaker 1: it off and then it grows back eventually, and and
Speaker 1: and then you know, then it looks like this period
Speaker 1: it's just like that at the top. That's me right there,
Speaker 1: right there. Okay, Uh. This this one says I got
Speaker 1: invited to an orgy hosted by a good friend and
Speaker 1: just realized he and I have never hooked up. So
Speaker 1: I guess the question is, can you go to your
Speaker 1: friend's orgy if you never hooked up with them?
Speaker 2: Yes, of course that's a great spot to do it.
Speaker 2: And when you get there, just check in with the
Speaker 2: cum dumb concierge and oh, every orgy has a good
Speaker 2: cum dumb concierge, and what.
Speaker 1: Is their responsibility?
Speaker 2: It's like, uh, someone who runs the cum dumpery Like
Speaker 2: she lines up, Oh, you're going to be on that mattress,
Speaker 2: you're going to be chained.
Speaker 3: To that radiator.
Speaker 2: You're over there in the sling like and then it
Speaker 2: like she appoints to starbottom for the hour if it's
Speaker 2: like a four hour shift. Like they make sure they
Speaker 2: have sharpies with alcohol swabs so you can mark the
Speaker 2: cum dumb. But sometimes the sharpies dry out because it's
Speaker 2: all the lube and the sweat on.
Speaker 3: Them on the the with the cum dumb. Yes, so
Speaker 3: they have to like get new sharpies.
Speaker 1: So the come dump concierge also will come dump themselves
Speaker 1: or they just.
Speaker 3: I mean not during working hours, got it.
Speaker 2: They don't ship where they and hopefully no one shoulds
Speaker 2: it there, hopefully.
Speaker 3: Hopefully everybody a little bit. Yeah, she thought she ate snacked.
Speaker 1: She was snacking, baby, a little little nipple. I've definitely
Speaker 1: met many a come dunk concierge, and I've definitely been
Speaker 1: passed around by them, but not They were on duty,
Speaker 1: so they weren't sucking me. But they were definitely putting
Speaker 1: me in the places that I needed.
Speaker 3: To in the offering place the congregation can meet.
Speaker 1: That first thing, come over here, and you know, I
Speaker 1: will say a come to concierge, actual.
Speaker 2: Foot in the kitchen counter, your arm on the refrigerator, yes,
Speaker 2: and then the on the back of the couch, Yes,
Speaker 2: it's yes, and.
Speaker 1: Then look back at it, you know, wink it. They're
Speaker 1: very much a director. They're a cruise director. Cruising director
Speaker 1: and I but I find them to be to make
Speaker 1: the space safe in a way because it's like, oh
Speaker 1: I because sometimes it can be overwhelming, and but if
Speaker 1: you have somebody who's like holding your hand and guiding you,
Speaker 1: it feels a little less chaotic. Yeah, in terms of
Speaker 1: sucking your friend, I do think it's like if I've
Speaker 1: never fucked my friend and my friend invites me. Some
Speaker 1: friends are weird about that ship. Like I have a
Speaker 1: friend who like, he don't we can go to the
Speaker 1: same sex party, but like if he sees me, he
Speaker 1: like has to go this other way. You don't want
Speaker 1: to see it. I have other friends who like I
Speaker 1: fucked next to and like we've passed around bottoms. So
Speaker 1: I don't know. I guess it depends on the friendship.
Speaker 1: But I guess you could talk about it me talking
Speaker 1: about no know, like they like this person could like
Speaker 1: talk to their friend about it.
Speaker 3: I already forget his question. It wasn't about me. I
Speaker 3: don't think.
Speaker 2: I was like, come dumbs, I was like, oh, fucking friends, friends.
Speaker 3: Fume on.
Speaker 1: That's the advice all your friends, now, all of them
Speaker 1: leave some of them.
Speaker 3: You know, some of them, don't like some of them.
Speaker 3: Just blow them.
Speaker 1: Just a little blow job in the bathroom, you know.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I guess you could talk to them ahead
Speaker 1: of time. But also like if the orgie is big,
Speaker 1: like you may not even see them and you can
Speaker 1: surprise them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd be like, guess where I am gerald surprised them?
Speaker 1: Just show up. Yeah, I think yeah, I think you
Speaker 1: can work around this. That is a paper clip.
Speaker 3: To make my dick look big in photos?
Speaker 1: What work perfect? Where'd you get that.
Speaker 3: Great Big Stuff dot Com?
Speaker 1: Really? Uh huh? And they just have big ship Yeah wow.
Speaker 2: Like life sized plastic army men from like those toys
Speaker 2: Great Big dot Com. I got a giant chair that
Speaker 2: I sat in for DragCon for like ten years straight.
Speaker 2: It's like a giant camper chair. I just look so
Speaker 2: pe tite, like Louly Tomlin, an incredible shrinking woman.
Speaker 1: How do you feel when you look pettit? I love it?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's why I like tall guys.
Speaker 1: Yeah, tall guys are really a toxic trait of mine,
Speaker 1: a toxic desire of mine, because yeah, I want to
Speaker 1: feel tiny.
Speaker 3: It's a red flag, but I will run up that flag.
Speaker 3: I can. Baby.
Speaker 1: Maybe it is a red flag, but like I say'd
Speaker 1: like a bargain. I'm like, yeah, like delicious.
Speaker 3: Rid of my plot?
Speaker 1: This one says on this my messy pick, so we
Speaker 1: can like really go in it says I hear you
Speaker 1: and others talk about being yourself, but I'm struggling to
Speaker 1: figure out who I am. I feel so stuck and
Speaker 1: there's not a lot about my life that makes me happy.
Speaker 1: How do I find myself or be myself? What if
Speaker 1: I don't like myself? How do I work on becoming
Speaker 1: secure in myself and loving who I am?
Speaker 2: Such good tips for this. Oh, first, if you don't
Speaker 2: like yourself, it's conditioning. If you'd say fourteen things to
Speaker 2: yourself in the mirror that you do like every day
Speaker 2: about yourself, it'll become a pattern and then you start
Speaker 2: to believe it. You have to find this stuff in
Speaker 2: your life that makes you happy lean into that because
Speaker 2: that's where you'll figure it out.
Speaker 3: And then I feel like I'm under a timer or
Speaker 3: a gun.
Speaker 1: No you're not.
Speaker 3: And there was there was one more thing that I
Speaker 3: wanted to remember. Well it's okay, yeah.
Speaker 1: Well let me ask you that when do you remember
Speaker 1: have you always loved who you were? Or there was
Speaker 1: there a moment that you had to really up into that.
Speaker 2: Only thing I didn't like about myself grown up is
Speaker 2: my thighs because they were huge and you don't like
Speaker 2: the still, But now I like them.
Speaker 1: I like them.
Speaker 3: But before I was like a heavy kid.
Speaker 2: I was like as tall as I was wide, and
Speaker 2: I was like thirteen and two hundred pounds and it
Speaker 2: was with Florida, and people made fun of me, and
Speaker 2: so I didn't. I thought I didn't love myself, but
Speaker 2: I still did. I was fierce yeah and I still am.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Period. What did you? Was it the fourteen the fourteen
Speaker 1: affirmations about yourself that change things for you? Or was
Speaker 1: there a person? No?
Speaker 3: I always believed it. I just do that anyway.
Speaker 2: And like when I feel down, I lie to myself
Speaker 2: and do affirmation cards and just be like, you know what,
Speaker 2: there's more right in your life than wrong in your life.
Speaker 2: Celebrate that, figure out what's good today. There's always a
Speaker 2: way that you can make yourself fool good, even if
Speaker 2: it's like helping other people just out of being selfish, like.
Speaker 3: Oh my good person, look at me. I mean I
Speaker 3: did something good in the world, did I know?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: So yeah?
Speaker 1: How did you? But like, did somebody teach you that?
Speaker 2: Like? No, I had to discover it because the universe
Speaker 2: got me. And the only reason it got me in
Speaker 2: such a pointed way was because I was doing not
Speaker 2: good by the universe like I did. I was scamming
Speaker 2: and I said my back was hurt in an area
Speaker 2: it was not hurt in and from a car accident,
Speaker 2: and I was like trying to get money, you know.
Speaker 2: And then I actually got hurt in that exact spot
Speaker 2: that I was faking it, Oh, falling off.
Speaker 3: A chair on a set and I was gagged and
Speaker 3: I was like, God, you got me.
Speaker 2: And then like I redirected my life and then I
Speaker 2: got a movie and then booked it and.
Speaker 3: It was a good movie.
Speaker 2: And they cut my part like two days before, and
Speaker 2: I was like what I was gagged or it was
Speaker 2: It was crazy, and I was like, I'm obviously fucking
Speaker 2: up the universe karmically.
Speaker 3: The universe is not giving me good stuff. It's not working.
Speaker 2: I should devote my life to good and helping other
Speaker 2: people and like leaving a positive market instead of a
Speaker 2: negative one and like be better, you know. And so
Speaker 2: I recommitted myself at Burning Man, I did all of this.
Speaker 2: I cleansed it out. I and that was like two
Speaker 2: thousand and fifteen, sixteen, and I became better. And that
Speaker 2: part in the movie came back oly shit randomly and
Speaker 2: it was stars Born.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they cut the whole club scene like the week before,
Speaker 2: and I was at a wedding. I was at Tom
Speaker 2: Dailey's wedding and I was gagged and I was like, oh.
Speaker 2: I was like, I already told people I was.
Speaker 3: In this movie.
Speaker 1: I mean even filmed. Yeah, I just did the wardrobe.
Speaker 3: Chat shit yeaeah.
Speaker 2: And I was like, God, you obviously hate me, yeah,
Speaker 2: or universe like something I'm doing wrong.
Speaker 3: Let me redirect my life.
Speaker 2: And then the next like week and a half after,
Speaker 2: I like seriously made a commitment to like being better.
Speaker 2: I stopped drinking. I didn't, I did a bunch of stuff.
Speaker 2: The movie came back and I was just holy shit. Yeah,
Speaker 2: Like I told a producer who produced silver Lining Playbook
Speaker 2: at the wedding. I was like, I'm doing this movie
Speaker 2: with Gaga and he's like, oh, say hi to Bradley.
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, well great, he's from really too,
Speaker 2: you know, like I knew that much. And then at
Speaker 2: the web I came down the next day after the
Speaker 2: rehearsal dinner and I was like, your friend just cut
Speaker 2: me from his fucking movie to Bruce Cohen. I was
Speaker 2: I was like, tell your friend put me back in
Speaker 2: that fucking movie.
Speaker 3: I'm so mad. I was so mad, and then back in.
Speaker 2: But that's why I redirected my whole life. It sounds stupid,
Speaker 2: but I knew the universe was out to get me
Speaker 2: and something wasn't right. I was also like scamming and
Speaker 2: hustling people in en light, setting up meetings as a
Speaker 2: showing up to whatever hotel room, sucking dick, doing whatever,
Speaker 2: and then being like, you need to give me three
Speaker 2: hundred dollars calling voicemails. One guy said his wife and
Speaker 2: his job heard it, and I ruined his life and
Speaker 2: he gave me two hundred and eighty dollars, and I
Speaker 2: was like, that's not right, karmicalle and like I really
Speaker 2: loved the Riba song fancy and then pretty woman, and
Speaker 2: I really wanted to be a redheaded hooker but instead
Speaker 2: I went blonde.
Speaker 1: But like, was there a reason for the scamming?
Speaker 3: Was there money?
Speaker 2: I saw sex workers an easy, viable option because like,
Speaker 2: people wanted something I had regularly and would pay for it.
Speaker 3: So it was a supply demand and I love demand. Y.
Speaker 2: I did it when I was like seventeen and eighteen
Speaker 2: in Philly too to make money to move out to la.
Speaker 3: And I read fourteen grand in.
Speaker 2: Eight months, girl, Yeah, aren It was in Philly that year,
Speaker 2: eight dicks one day, because all I did was suck dick.
Speaker 2: I didn't I fucked like eight guys, but I would
Speaker 2: have sucked them anyway. But I kept track of all them,
Speaker 2: the where, the who, the how much, the tips, how
Speaker 2: much the house got all that.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, it was so fun.
Speaker 1: You enjoyed it?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Would you ever do it again?
Speaker 2: I mean I'd have to go to Nevada and to
Speaker 2: legally do it. It's because maybe I don't want to
Speaker 2: have to advertise every word of mouth.
Speaker 1: That mouth speaks so.
Speaker 3: Funny Bunny ranching.
Speaker 1: One of my questions, my questions about I guess like
Speaker 1: did you learn about loving yourself at all through scamming?
Speaker 1: Like did you learn about or what did you learn
Speaker 1: about yourself? Inside of that?
Speaker 2: It's just like an easy way out and like I could,
Speaker 2: I could do it, and I did it, and it
Speaker 2: was did I see myself as some like? I think
Speaker 2: I was like doing drag trying to find a a
Speaker 2: You know, when you do this it's like it becomes
Speaker 2: your life stuff and trying to act and stuff.
Speaker 3: So I was like, this is an easy side job.
Speaker 1: You know who was around you or like who who?
Speaker 1: One who introduced you to drag and who with anyone
Speaker 1: that influenced you in terms of the next level of yourself.
Speaker 2: The drag I Rocky Horror was like my gateway drag
Speaker 2: and Rue Paul and like Bunny when I was like,
Speaker 2: I feel like the Muppets Miss Piggy. Like it was
Speaker 2: very that my dad drove me to Rocky Horror when
Speaker 2: I was thirteen, waited in the car, took me home.
Speaker 2: His friend ran it from NASA, so he was like,
Speaker 2: okay with me going and stuff and they come to
Speaker 2: all my shows, they tip what was there was one
Speaker 2: more question? Oh the best version of me? Now?
Speaker 3: I just copied RuPaul. She's great, it's my favorite. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I want to do everything that she does.
Speaker 2: But like I want to do a touring company and
Speaker 2: have the girls that are touring have the pie shares
Speaker 2: of the touring Okay, got instead of paying random money
Speaker 2: to Tom Randy and Fenton and Rue because they're not
Speaker 2: on the tour, Like they're not being seen.
Speaker 3: Why is their name of the title? Like where the girls?
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're doing this now and sure it's your legacy
Speaker 2: work and stuff, but like we should be making the money, yeah,
Speaker 2: not these random guys. Yeah, Like So I want to
Speaker 2: open a touring company. I want to have a housewares line.
Speaker 2: I want to do so many things. And the people
Speaker 2: that inspire me are Martha Stewart and I like Chris Hardwick.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and some cool shit.
Speaker 1: Fuck yus if it feels like you're always thinking about giving.
Speaker 3: I'm opening a store.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, what kind of store.
Speaker 2: It's called Goodwill. It's on Cherokee right across the world.
Speaker 2: I wonder behind the Whig store. We do drag stuff.
Speaker 2: We do Airbnb experiences where it's like, you want to
Speaker 2: get drag, We'll put you in drag, you get your shoes,
Speaker 2: will take you to the bars, We'll go on the boulevard,
Speaker 2: will give you a lap for Airbnb. Because so many
Speaker 2: people don't have prides anymore. Then, yeah, and like money.
Speaker 2: So I was like, if you all want a corporate pride,
Speaker 2: come here, ten people. I'll get you all in drag,
Speaker 2: have a little fun. You got the tape, you got
Speaker 2: the titties, you got shoes around the corner, like you
Speaker 2: got everything you could need one stop drag shop.
Speaker 1: Where did your confidence come from?
Speaker 2: And all this my parents like support me and told
Speaker 2: me I could do whatever I wanted and told me
Speaker 2: they just wanted me happy. And then I was like, Okay,
Speaker 2: I can do whatever I wanted. I want to be
Speaker 2: in tabloids, So I did that. Yeah, I wanted to
Speaker 2: be in the National Choir. Some of these girls are
Speaker 2: here looking like National Geographic, the Wildlife toes not painted
Speaker 2: and sandals.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, it's warm out, get ready girls.
Speaker 1: So you're supportive. So when did you come out? Where
Speaker 1: did you have to come out?
Speaker 3: Oh? I was always out.
Speaker 2: My mom wrote my baby book when I was three.
Speaker 2: He's either gay or ballerina. He walks on his toes.
Speaker 2: She was right, she do ye kind of both. She
Speaker 2: didn't know what else to do with the toes.
Speaker 1: Okay, So then what is your you know, what's your
Speaker 1: advice to somebody who is trying to learn how to
Speaker 1: love themselves and trying to learn be confident. So we
Speaker 1: have the we have the affirmations. What else is there
Speaker 1: that you think somebody could tap in?
Speaker 2: You have to be able to look in the mirror
Speaker 2: and find something that you like about yourself, and if
Speaker 2: you can't, it's I don't know, because I've always been
Speaker 2: able to find stuff even when I didn't like how
Speaker 2: I looked or whatever.
Speaker 3: I'm always like, it could be worse. You got your feet.
Speaker 2: When I get out of the drag, every time I
Speaker 2: thank my feet, I'm like, thanks for holding me up.
Speaker 3: I've had like two back surgeries.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I feel like, just convince yourself, lie to yourself,
Speaker 2: and be as positive as you can, and do stuff
Speaker 2: to keep you busy so you don't get sad, and
Speaker 2: do stuff that makes you happy, and maybe you'll love
Speaker 2: yourself that way.
Speaker 3: I don't know if you don't.
Speaker 2: I just can't imagine not loving yourself like you're the
Speaker 2: only shot that the world gave to whatever vessel you are.
Speaker 2: So love it, bitch, someone's gonna like it. There's a
Speaker 2: pot for every lid.
Speaker 1: Come what what that's tea? I feel like I'm.
Speaker 3: Listening to and I'm cast Iron.
Speaker 1: Season top Tyranny. You know Rex, Rex will see. That's
Speaker 1: my next that's my drag name.
Speaker 3: I tell people. Now, I want this back when it's clean,
Speaker 3: clean it clean.
Speaker 1: I feel like, wait, I was gonna pirate explicity. Really
Speaker 1: don't apologize, You're perfect. I've been listening to uh this
Speaker 1: Abraham Hicks, which is uh, I guess like meditation and whatnot.
Speaker 1: And all of it is about like finding something that
Speaker 1: makes you happy. That like, you don't wait for your
Speaker 1: life to change to be happy, but you find it
Speaker 1: in this moment. And the gratitude is a real big
Speaker 1: piece of that, which is like I'm thankful for my
Speaker 1: feet for holding me up or whatever it is, like
Speaker 1: you know, I'm grateful that I woke up in this
Speaker 1: bed or like the like the little like to your point,
Speaker 1: like there's always something to love. But I think that
Speaker 1: maybe our focus is always on the big shit. Our
Speaker 1: focus is on like I want that much money, or
Speaker 1: I want that type of career, or I want what
Speaker 1: that person has as opposed to right now, in this moment,
Speaker 1: you have a good duty that you can call up
Speaker 1: who has your back, got my chair?
Speaker 4: Got absolutely always something you can find that's like, even
Speaker 4: if it's just because it's not it could be worse
Speaker 4: and it's not.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, yes, And just reframing your blocking is
Speaker 2: a blessing has been really helpful for me.
Speaker 1: And I was saying, you're blocking as a blessing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And complaining is draining, don't it.
Speaker 2: Like it's fine to like voice something you're doing, but
Speaker 2: when it gets that voice you're just slowing yourself down
Speaker 2: to when you could be fixing it or just like
Speaker 2: so I try not once the wigs on. I want
Speaker 2: to be a positive source of light. I try not
Speaker 2: to complain on my own sets. I like, you know,
Speaker 2: I try to. Yeah, it should be fun, and I
Speaker 2: want to. I want people see me in drag. I
Speaker 2: want them to like feel a light, not a complaint,
Speaker 2: like how long you've been in it?
Speaker 3: Even though I.
Speaker 2: Told you I said, like my feet, I said, oh
Speaker 2: the bobby pins. Yeah, but like I started off with
Speaker 2: a complaint but I didn't mean to.
Speaker 1: No, But but you weren't complaining. But I understand because
Speaker 1: you know, weird.
Speaker 3: It's pain.
Speaker 1: Listen, beauty is faye. But like we know when people
Speaker 1: are like complaining and those those people who just like
Speaker 1: always have something that's wrong and you never and also
Speaker 1: don't like to take advice and that you're like if
Speaker 1: you're like, the vib is hurting and I was like girl,
Speaker 1: and you were like.
Speaker 3: But once you have your nails on, you're like and
Speaker 3: then you're like, let's just feel.
Speaker 1: But I love the idea.
Speaker 3: If we always have right have a five o'clock though.
Speaker 1: Okay, I love the proverb proverbial yes, putting up a
Speaker 1: wig on? Right, Like this idea that like when you
Speaker 1: wake up, you're allowed to have your whatever, but can
Speaker 1: you put your wag on? And when you put your
Speaker 1: wig on? Can you become light? And what you're saying
Speaker 1: like this folkus Judith Judith just see in the world.
Speaker 1: And also this idea that can you put attention on
Speaker 1: other people in terms of can I be of service
Speaker 1: to other people? Can I make somebody else feel good?
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm not feeling my best, But if I reframe
Speaker 1: this and allow myself to show up for somebody else,
Speaker 1: then that actually ends up bringing joy to me too.
Speaker 2: I literally missed my friends during COVID, so we started
Speaker 2: a podcast company Alaska and I where we produced our
Speaker 2: friends podcast and it was like being in a dressing
Speaker 2: room with them again. And now like Delta Work is
Speaker 2: touring the nation in comedy clubs, and like it's just
Speaker 2: one of those things where we were able to like
Speaker 2: just put some light and fun out in the world
Speaker 2: and now it makes those people money. They got gigs,
Speaker 2: more gigs, and everybody it's success is more fun with
Speaker 2: your friends around you. I feel like, so like, like,
Speaker 2: what do you do Okay, you're gonna do my hair
Speaker 2: for this bitch? Oh you don't do hair yet? YouTube,
Speaker 2: get on it.
Speaker 1: Yes, the community of it all. Yeah, having your people,
Speaker 1: I mean that's I always reference with my friends. I
Speaker 1: reference Anchorman because when Will Ferrell came with that movie,
Speaker 1: like we didn't know who Steve grow was, adding Paul
Speaker 1: Read to it, like even Tina fe and Amy Polar
Speaker 1: and just the way that that crew has, like they've
Speaker 1: built their own projects and then brought all their people
Speaker 1: and then those people are building their own projects and
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, yeah, it's a lot more fun when
Speaker 1: you're around your people, and people want to work with
Speaker 1: their people, and so like being able to create something
Speaker 1: and get your friends in it, whether it's making money
Speaker 1: or not, pours into you and that that that to me,
Speaker 1: is following your happiness, right, like putting the putting the
Speaker 1: paycheck aside. For I think it was Kevin Hartthur was saying, like,
Speaker 1: the money will come, and obviously it's easy for him
Speaker 1: to say, but you know what I'm saying, like the
Speaker 1: money will come, but what won't come is that the
Speaker 1: friendships and the relationships that like people are so focused
Speaker 1: on the money or what it looks like and not
Speaker 1: focus on the actual connections and then emptiness and then
Speaker 1: sadness and then despair, and so can you like the
Speaker 1: money will whatever, But what makes me happy right now
Speaker 1: and right now doing this drag makes me happy? Or
Speaker 1: hanging out with this person makes me happy or or
Speaker 1: what you know, like you know, whatever it is, Come on,
Speaker 1: it makes me happy and I have an intention behind it.
Speaker 1: And if you can focus on that, then you can
Speaker 1: start building the life that you want. And also to
Speaker 1: this person like that. It's not building it all at once,
Speaker 1: right like pieces fits and pieces. You start, You start somewhere.
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to all be figured out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and and if you need help figuring it out,
Speaker 2: come dumb concierge again just saying they have their ship together.
Speaker 1: They do.
Speaker 3: Either get them or a lesbian.
Speaker 1: They will fix your life, Madison or Madison, it's your life.
Speaker 3: Just find her house in the new house. Yes, girl,
Speaker 3: I want to go.
Speaker 1: I want to go wherever is. I'm trying to bet
Speaker 1: she's the best. She's the best, Okay. I asked these
Speaker 1: final questions to everyone. So the first one is have
Speaker 1: you ever had sex? And a Porter potty?
Speaker 3: I've given a blow job in a porter potty. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: that's sexy.
Speaker 1: Yes? Was it clean?
Speaker 3: Him?
Speaker 1: It was early? Was it late?
Speaker 3: It was the first day okay, okay, okay, the first
Speaker 3: day of the Yeah.
Speaker 2: And it was burning Man, so it was the first
Speaker 2: night first Fine, it wasn't that bad.
Speaker 3: Okay, great, Yeah, I got through it.
Speaker 1: Out.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: Wait, was it is it? Was it small? Are they tiny? No?
Speaker 3: It was one of the big ones.
Speaker 1: Okay, on on the end? What is the what are
Speaker 1: are they? I've never been running in I probably never
Speaker 1: will go because I have a lot of allergies.
Speaker 3: Don't go, then I won't go.
Speaker 2: It's dusty, but it's like an alkaline dust so like
Speaker 2: keeps everything clean, so nobody really smells.
Speaker 3: But we had showers.
Speaker 1: Anyway has showers and not everyone has showers. Wow, yeah,
Speaker 1: I can't. How long is it? How many days is it?
Speaker 3: It's a week?
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: It's about radical self reliance work and it's like going
Speaker 2: to an orgy. You should have someone walk you through
Speaker 2: it the first time, because like Courtney Act was my
Speaker 2: like burning Man sense and yeah, guided me. And then
Speaker 2: by the last year I was like I go on
Speaker 2: my own. She's like good I'm not going to be
Speaker 2: in your rvy this year. Then I was like, okay, bitch,
Speaker 2: I do and then she waned in so bad once
Speaker 2: we got there because we had good snacks and she
Speaker 2: was in a yurt and it was windy, and.
Speaker 1: I was like, fuck you, b you don't want you
Speaker 1: still go?
Speaker 3: I haven't been since twenty sixteen, but I went, like
Speaker 3: three years.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, will you go again?
Speaker 4: Hmmm?
Speaker 3: Probably not. I have like a I can't bike ride
Speaker 3: like I would in the Sandwich. How my back is.
Speaker 3: I don't do I can't do coasters or go karts.
Speaker 3: Somewhere I don't know.
Speaker 1: I know my best friend girl has been going the
Speaker 1: last three or four years.
Speaker 3: It's cool. It changed me as an artist and a person.
Speaker 2: That's what helped me figure it out, like the universe
Speaker 2: and everything, because I was on shrooms and the shrooms
Speaker 2: gave me what I.
Speaker 3: Needed to know.
Speaker 2: That was my trip, that was your trip. And Burning
Speaker 2: Man may change my whole life because of that. Like
Speaker 2: as an artist's what I.
Speaker 1: Hear from a lot of people who go, like it
Speaker 1: can be life.
Speaker 2: It it could give you just what you need, like
Speaker 2: and some plants from the earth made me realize that
Speaker 2: or maybe put my put all the life things in
Speaker 2: order in my brain where I saw like all the
Speaker 2: planets aligning and that's what I needed to do.
Speaker 3: Life, and then it happened.
Speaker 2: Maybe it's not true, maybe I'm imagining it, but I
Speaker 2: like to think that my positive intentions and actions have
Speaker 2: caused my life to be better.
Speaker 1: I will affirm that that is the case. I think
Speaker 1: that if you're putting out good, you're gonna receive that.
Speaker 1: If you're putting out you know, if you're trafficking ad not,
Speaker 1: it's just like and listen, life, life LIFs. But I
Speaker 1: think the point of tracking our kind of karmic energy
Speaker 1: is because life lives, and so things are gonna happen.
Speaker 1: But if you are some one who is dishing out good,
Speaker 1: I imagine that there will be people around you to
Speaker 1: support you when that bad happens. If you're somebody who's
Speaker 1: dishing out bad, when that bad happens, you probably won't
Speaker 1: be on your own. And so I think there is
Speaker 1: there is. Yes, your positiveness for sure has built or
Speaker 1: continues to impact the life that you're able to build,
Speaker 1: which is a happy one.
Speaker 3: I believe it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we believe it also a shroom trip really will
Speaker 1: get you together? Okay, A little shrewd, little edible, a
Speaker 1: little plant medicine will really, I really believe, because you know,
Speaker 1: there's just like so much going on, and just a
Speaker 1: little bit of that that earthly, that earthly little whatnot
Speaker 1: just like quiets things sounds a little bit.
Speaker 2: It's like the universe giving you Easter eggs. You're like,
Speaker 2: so that plant does that?
Speaker 1: Okay? What that one? Just that one?
Speaker 3: And you smoke it?
Speaker 1: Okay, work, listen, the other animals are partaking so all.
Speaker 3: Why why not?
Speaker 1: Why not get at a little message? Okay? The last
Speaker 1: question I asked is what could you learn to love
Speaker 1: about yourself? What could I know? And this is actually
Speaker 1: interesting because you love, you love a lot about yourself,
Speaker 1: But is there something you could learn to love about
Speaker 1: yourself besides your thighs.
Speaker 2: There's one thing I hate about myself and it's my
Speaker 2: big toe on my left foot because the toenail I
Speaker 2: wore a shoe that was too tight or Halloween two
Speaker 2: thousand and one, and it never grew right again. And
Speaker 2: it still don't grow right. It's fine if I paint it,
Speaker 2: but it's not right. It's not and I will never
Speaker 2: learn to love it. I ruined it, drag took that
Speaker 2: from me, and I'm fine with it.
Speaker 3: It's what I gave. It's what I gave.
Speaker 2: It's what I surrendered to have, like all of this
Speaker 2: beauty and glamour, So I get it.
Speaker 3: It's my one toe. It's fine.
Speaker 1: Listen, you can't be this beautiful without having one thing.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. So it's a toe.
Speaker 3: Yeah it's not, o Marie, it's a toe.
Speaker 1: It's a toe. It's a toe.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, So I don't think I'll ever be able
Speaker 2: to love that, but I understand it's not it's tost
Speaker 2: faults holding me up.
Speaker 1: I'm happy.
Speaker 3: I don't need the nail.
Speaker 1: It don't need it. It don't need it.
Speaker 3: Is there something that you hate about yourself? You want
Speaker 3: to try to learn love?
Speaker 1: Do I always love? What? Do I want to learn
Speaker 1: love about myself more? I want to learn? It always changes?
Speaker 3: But right now it's your cuticles are great. You couldn't
Speaker 3: make them any better perfect.
Speaker 1: I get the girls what I got to give. Also
Speaker 1: trying to finger and you know you can't finger with
Speaker 1: the I could learn to love my can I call
Speaker 1: them the roses my like, I have to be organized,
Speaker 1: and I like, I'm really like, everything has to be
Speaker 1: in a and a little tight thing, and sometimes it
Speaker 1: makes me feel self conscious. But I also recognize that
Speaker 1: that energy. That energy allows me to do the things
Speaker 1: that I want to do. And so I feel like
Speaker 1: I could learn to love that more.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because there's nothing wrong with not having your ducks
Speaker 2: all in a row all the time, but then you
Speaker 2: have to worry about cleaning up duck shit everywhere where.
Speaker 2: If they were in a row, would be just like,
Speaker 2: clean up the duck shit right there. So you got
Speaker 2: your shit together, So you're cleaning up less duck shit
Speaker 2: by doing what you do.
Speaker 3: Don't feel proud about that.
Speaker 1: I can also learn to love rest more. I do
Speaker 1: love it, but I don't take it. Do you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Some people don't like to sit down.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I don't do that. Everybody always says I'm
Speaker 2: doing too much. Yeah, and I am all right, but.
Speaker 3: Like I sleep on planes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no one ever dies and be like, oh, I
Speaker 2: should have slept more.
Speaker 3: I should have taken that.
Speaker 1: Now, are you sure?
Speaker 2: Maybe I will always go do a lap. I will
Speaker 2: never say no, I'm not gonna go out with any regret.
Speaker 1: Wow, that's tea. But you're sure somebody ain't never been
Speaker 1: like I could learn to rest more, or like I
Speaker 1: wish I slept I took more nats. You're right, maybe
Speaker 1: at the end of your life. Are you thinking.
Speaker 2: Jennifer Coolidge just said it on a red carpet. She said, Ah,
Speaker 2: I love to rest.
Speaker 1: I love to rest. I do, But now now I'm
Speaker 1: questioning it.
Speaker 3: I mean, it depends if you're resting with someone you
Speaker 3: want to rest with.
Speaker 1: It's me. I love to rest with me.
Speaker 3: Oh, I've seen taking it second day.
Speaker 1: I love to wake over the but.
Speaker 3: Waking up a sniffy spot.
Speaker 1: For me, for me, No, I love I had. I
Speaker 1: had a nice little cat couch nap the other day.
Speaker 1: The pillow between my thigh and the hit had one
Speaker 1: pillow there. The dog wasn't baby. I was knocked the
Speaker 1: funk out for a solid thirty minutes. It was everything.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I take naps. I love them.
Speaker 1: Nap is everything. Yeah, midday the mid day nap makes
Speaker 1: you feel wealthy because like, what are you doing trips? Yes,
Speaker 1: why are you taking a midday nap? Rich?
Speaker 3: Money?
Speaker 2: Money nap on these one from Lancaster Last Night Club explos.
Speaker 1: Napped all these singles. I wish I could take this
Speaker 1: mid day Tuesday naps.
Speaker 3: Anthony's in my purse.
Speaker 1: Listen, I love you so much.
Speaker 3: Thank you, I love you, thank you having me, thank you.
Speaker 1: All right, I'll see you soon. Bye. Well, you know
Speaker 1: we your hosts here, but hose with heart, so before
Speaker 1: we go, let me speak to yours. I love me
Speaker 1: some Willem. Oh my goodness. I've been watching drag Race
Speaker 1: since season one and I very much remember Willem season
Speaker 1: and Willem was one of my favorites. I remember the disqualification,
Speaker 1: but you know what Willem for me is the drag
Speaker 1: Race Jennifer Hudson, Okay, where you might not win the competition.
Speaker 1: Jennifers wasn't disqualified for American Idol, but she she ain't. Wait.
Speaker 1: You know, you might not win the competition, but you
Speaker 1: can still win it life. You can still do some
Speaker 1: really incredible, uh beautiful exceptional things. And Willem has really
Speaker 1: made such a un enviable career and also is such
Speaker 1: a sweet human. Let's talk about what I learned, which,
Speaker 1: like karma is real. Okay, I really appreciated Willm sharing
Speaker 1: about you know, their life kind of pre that burning
Speaker 1: man moment or you know, the things that they were doing,
Speaker 1: you know, to survive, to live, to have fun, but
Speaker 1: weren't necessarily aligned with their let's just call it their
Speaker 1: highest self. Wasn't necessarily being good to themselves or always
Speaker 1: to others, and the change that needed to happen because listen,
Speaker 1: karma does come. I like, oh, karma does come, girl.
Speaker 1: But you know I say, like, karma will will cash
Speaker 1: that check. So life is hard no matter what. But
Speaker 1: like I said at the end, right like, if you've
Speaker 1: been good when life is hard, I do believe the
Speaker 1: support shows up. But if you've been not so good
Speaker 1: when life is hard, which will always you know, come
Speaker 1: around and take a two punch, you may not have
Speaker 1: the support there. You might be a lonelier, a lonelier journey.
Speaker 1: So being conscious about how you're treating people leave people
Speaker 1: better than you found them. I also love reframing your
Speaker 1: blocking as a blessing and complaining is draining. It's so true,
Speaker 1: didn't I say last week when like or a couple
Speaker 1: of weeks ago, when you know that hot person doesn't
Speaker 1: you know respond to you. That's your ancestors blocking them
Speaker 1: because they might be crazy. Okay, you're blocking. It can
Speaker 1: be a blessing. It doesn't feel like it in the moment.
Speaker 1: And if you're you know, currently have had something recent
Speaker 1: that happened that you really wanted and were rejected from
Speaker 1: or didn't get. Of course didn't feel like it in
Speaker 1: the moment. But think about all the times you've been
Speaker 1: rejected When you look back on it, was it the
Speaker 1: thing that you really needed? Was it the thing that
Speaker 1: you really wanted? Actually? Was it the thing that would
Speaker 1: have actually best served you? I would guess like nine
Speaker 1: times out of ten. No. So the blocking hurts in
Speaker 1: the moment, but if you can remember this might be
Speaker 1: a blessing. So you don't shut your senses down, you
Speaker 1: don't shut yourself down, that you kind of stay open
Speaker 1: to the shifts that are being called upon on your life.
Speaker 1: Maybe the more expansive way that your life wants you
Speaker 1: to look at your journey or look at your pursuit.
Speaker 1: And complaining is draining. Just listen, there's nothing wrong with
Speaker 1: venting and being like this should sucks or I'm upset
Speaker 1: about this or whatever whatever, But you know knowing where
Speaker 1: to do that, who to do that with when is
Speaker 1: the right time to do that, you know, like, please
Speaker 1: don't come to set when we're trying to build something
Speaker 1: together and be like ah, like that might not be
Speaker 1: the right time or with the right people, and you
Speaker 1: know that that sucks the air out of the thing
Speaker 1: you're trying to build. So it doesn't mean you can't
Speaker 1: ever complain. But I think that there are people who
Speaker 1: complain because they want to be heard, because suffering is
Speaker 1: comforting for them, you know. And those are the people that,
Speaker 1: like when you give them advice, they never take it
Speaker 1: or they complain about the same shit and they won't
Speaker 1: make any changes, right, Like, there is a comfort and
Speaker 1: that's not there's not a judgment there there. I can
Speaker 1: acknowledge that there is a comfort in that dysfunction that
Speaker 1: sometimes it is easier to complain and to kind of
Speaker 1: wallow in that despair than to shift, because to shift
Speaker 1: would be to step into something unknown, and that you're
Speaker 1: picking your discomfort. Is it more uncomfortable to be in
Speaker 1: the complaining or more uncomfortable to be in the transformation,
Speaker 1: And even though the complaining might be uncomfortable itself, it
Speaker 1: is more familiar than the unknown of transforming. So just
Speaker 1: be conscious of it. Remind yourself that you want to
Speaker 1: be light. When you put this wig on, be a
Speaker 1: positive source of light. You know, can we all put
Speaker 1: out proverbial wigs on? And it's not in a toxic
Speaker 1: positive way, it's in an intentional way. It's the same
Speaker 1: thing we talk about with rewiring your brain. When you
Speaker 1: negative thoughts, you got to give it something. You got
Speaker 1: to give it an opposite thought, which is a positive thought,
Speaker 1: a positive affirmation. So you're not forcing it, you're not
Speaker 1: faking it, you're just rewiring. You are offering another another perspective.
Speaker 1: So if the negative can be true, the positive can
Speaker 1: also be true. And sometimes we need to work a
Speaker 1: little extra harder to offer that because everything around us
Speaker 1: will support us in living the negative. You know, there's
Speaker 1: enough that we are being bombarded with that will allow
Speaker 1: us to live in the negative if we want to.
Speaker 1: But it takes a little bit more work to be vulnerable,
Speaker 1: to transform, to look for the good, to intentionally grasp
Speaker 1: on to the good. That takes a little extra work,
Speaker 1: but it's so worth it. And gratitude is such a
Speaker 1: beautiful place to start when we're talking about loving yourself.
Speaker 1: Gratitude is a way to love yourself. Yes, do not
Speaker 1: wait for your million dollar check to be grateful. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. Like you're you're listening to this podcast,
Speaker 1: be grateful not for the podcast, but like that you can,
Speaker 1: you know, listen to something that you enjoy. You you know,
Speaker 1: are are you woke up? Be grateful for that somebody
Speaker 1: said something nice to you. Grateful for that You're loved
Speaker 1: by your best friend or your family or you you know,
Speaker 1: you have a great community. Be grateful for that. Be
Speaker 1: grateful for the sun, Be grateful for the air, Be
Speaker 1: grateful of the ray, Be grateful. There's a lot of
Speaker 1: things to be upset about, and a lot of things
Speaker 1: to be frustrated by, and a lot of things to
Speaker 1: weigh us down. Those things are there, and they are true,
Speaker 1: but it doesn't mean that there aren't also things for
Speaker 1: us to express gratitude for. And if you are on
Speaker 1: this journey, if you're serious about the journey to loving yourself,
Speaker 1: you got to find those things to be grateful for
Speaker 1: and those things about yourself to be grateful for. How
Speaker 1: do you show up in the world, how do you love?
Speaker 1: How do you show compassion? Don't be afraid to break
Speaker 1: on yourself, baby, brag on your motherfucking self. Okay, pat
Speaker 1: yourself on the back. You do this well, you do
Speaker 1: that well, you show up like this, well like pat
Speaker 1: yourself on the back, and be grateful for the way
Speaker 1: that you show up in the world, even if there's
Speaker 1: another version of yourself that you're trying to get to
Speaker 1: that you're becoming. Be grateful for where you are right now,
Speaker 1: even as you become and you transform and you and
Speaker 1: you expand um. And finally, you can't figure with finger
Speaker 1: with a fringe cuticle. And that's tea. I love the
Speaker 1: term fringe cuticle. Baby. You know, get your get your
Speaker 1: little manicure. And you know, if you don't want to
Speaker 1: go to the to the salon, then you know, to
Speaker 1: me finger and get yourself a nail clipper, you know,
Speaker 1: and rub them nails along your forearm. And if you
Speaker 1: go out, yeah, you gotta click them before you finger somebody. Okay, now,
Speaker 1: some of y'all growing up your fingernails, and that's tea,
Speaker 1: grow it out, but don't be fingering. But if you're
Speaker 1: somebody who like, no, I like to finger, and I
Speaker 1: want to finger, you know, check in with those nails.
Speaker 1: Periodically weekly. Quite honestly, I get my nails cut every
Speaker 1: two weeks. But if I know if I'm getting I go,
Speaker 1: I go to. It's my time, it's my special time
Speaker 1: to deal get a man, mini petty. But if I
Speaker 1: know that I got a finger in between them two weeks,
Speaker 1: I'm cutting. I'm cutting myself, girl, bottling it down, cutting
Speaker 1: the musselp girl. Okay, because I'm not trying to slice
Speaker 1: nobody's guts with some fringy cuticles. Okay, period period point black.
Speaker 1: Before I let you go. You know that I have
Speaker 1: the Substack Brandon Calgodman dot substack dot com where we
Speaker 1: do Messy Mondays at Night, which is a live show
Speaker 1: I'm doing every Monday, nine pm Eastern, six pm Pacific.
Speaker 1: Plus you get access to my substack only podcasts, monthly essays,
Speaker 1: all these things, and it's only five dollars a month
Speaker 1: for the paid subscribers, which you get all the messy goodies.
Speaker 1: But everyone has access to the Messy Monday's live show.
Speaker 1: But here is a clip from the Substack exclusive pod
Speaker 1: where I'm answering some additional messy mail play it. How
Speaker 1: can't we start with a listener question? It says Hello,
Speaker 1: I have a question about condom use. Okay, I've been
Speaker 1: following you for a long while and listening to your
Speaker 1: podcast since day one. Thank you, and I keep hearing
Speaker 1: all these stories about loads, taking multiple loads in the
Speaker 1: ass at parties, taking loads and then getting them out
Speaker 1: of your body to limit drippage, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 1: Where is the condom usage in all of this. I
Speaker 1: know it's personal preference, but I also know it's a
Speaker 1: much safer option, especially in a party context where it
Speaker 1: is taking a load in quotes. Come in when we're
Speaker 1: talking about safer sex options, please explain this to me.
Speaker 1: Ha ha, you're the absolute best. Hello to this person.
Speaker 1: Let's call you. I love to make up a name.
Speaker 1: Let's call you Roxy. I think I just watched Chicago,
Speaker 1: so like roxy Heart, so we'll call you Roxy Heart.
Speaker 1: There we go, because at the end of your message
Speaker 1: you say you're the absolutely best, and there's a heart emoji,
Speaker 1: so this is perfect Roxy Heart. Hi baby. The short
Speaker 1: answer is now you might already know the answer to
Speaker 1: that question, love, but but you'll also listen to the
Speaker 1: bot because I give you more tea. I talk about
Speaker 1: some more stuff from our show here telling Me Something
Speaker 1: Messy and then I, you know, just keep you updated
Speaker 1: on what's going on in my life, personal and professional.
Speaker 1: So if you're if you're really into the mess girl,
Speaker 1: join me on substack Brandoncollgodman dot substack dot com. I
Speaker 1: love you. You can find me on Instagram as well
Speaker 1: at Brandon Kyle Goodman. You can find our podcast at
Speaker 1: tell Me Something Messy and you can join our community
Speaker 1: on the Messy Monday's Substack. When you subscribe, you'll get
Speaker 1: weekly posts, recommendations on sex and self and so much more.
Speaker 1: So I want to hear from you, so send your
Speaker 1: topic ideas, your messy stories, your submissions, your game ideas
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Speaker 1: the show, out all, Right until next, time ask about
Speaker 1: the politics of that dick before you make it, spit
Speaker 1: make sure they eat the kitty before they beat the,
Speaker 1: kitty before fuckation or succation. Communication and in case you
Speaker 1: haven't heard it, yet today you are so deeply. LOVED
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