1 00:00:10,039 --> 00:00:13,920 Speaker 1: All right, guys, hi, and welcome back to another episode 2 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:17,479 Speaker 1: of Couch Talks on You Need Therapy. My name is 3 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:20,840 Speaker 1: Cat and if you haven't already figured it out, I 4 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:23,400 Speaker 1: have kind of lost my voice. I'm getting it back. 5 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:27,200 Speaker 1: I'm on the end. I had strapped throat, and um, 6 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:30,000 Speaker 1: I guess that's what happens when you have strep throat. 7 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,320 Speaker 1: You lose your voice. I've never had it before, and 8 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:35,839 Speaker 1: I do not wish that on anybody. But I'm on 9 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:38,080 Speaker 1: the end, guys, I'm on the end. My voice is 10 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:41,239 Speaker 1: slowly but surely coming back, and hopefully it holds up 11 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:45,440 Speaker 1: long enough for this episode because I am excited to 12 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:47,760 Speaker 1: talk about the question that I'm going to answer today. 13 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:50,120 Speaker 1: If you're new to the podcast, if you're new to 14 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:53,640 Speaker 1: Couch Talks, couch Talks is the Wednesday bonus episode where 15 00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:57,240 Speaker 1: I answer questions that you guys send into Catherine at 16 00:00:57,320 --> 00:01:01,040 Speaker 1: You Need Therapy podcast dot com and you send those 17 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:02,960 Speaker 1: there and then hopefully one day I get to your question. 18 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:06,200 Speaker 1: And we like to remind you that even though there's 19 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:09,720 Speaker 1: a therapist answering your question, this isn't therapy, but it 20 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:12,440 Speaker 1: might help get you to a therapist. So I picked 21 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:15,520 Speaker 1: this question one because it was so good and obviously 22 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:16,840 Speaker 1: at some point I was going to answer it, but 23 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:19,880 Speaker 1: it also kind of tails off of the episode from 24 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:23,480 Speaker 1: Monday with Kaisa that we did called Hell is not 25 00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:26,760 Speaker 1: a look, It's a feeling. So she was amazing and 26 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:28,399 Speaker 1: if you haven't listened to that episode, go back and 27 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 1: listen to it. She's somebody that I was like, really 28 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:33,479 Speaker 1: really really eying to get on the podcast, and we did, 29 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:37,400 Speaker 1: and the conversation exceeded my expectation. She's awesome. So this 30 00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:39,960 Speaker 1: question kind of tails out of that because it's talking 31 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:43,200 Speaker 1: about fitness and diet culture and stuff like that. So 32 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:45,840 Speaker 1: we're gonna just dive into it today. We're only doing 33 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:50,000 Speaker 1: one question because one my voice can only handle one question, 34 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:53,680 Speaker 1: and do I wanted to take a longer time answering 35 00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:56,200 Speaker 1: this question because it is one that I have some 36 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:59,520 Speaker 1: passion behind. So let's get into it here. It is, 37 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:02,840 Speaker 1: Hey cat, My question for you today is my friend 38 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:05,400 Speaker 1: and her family, who I know very well, are doing 39 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:08,160 Speaker 1: a weight loss challenge where they are betting a large 40 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:11,720 Speaker 1: amount of money for whoever loses body weight the fastest. 41 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:14,240 Speaker 1: This all just started and my friend is back on 42 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:18,520 Speaker 1: board with using tracking apps exercising, wayne food and all 43 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:21,840 Speaker 1: the diet culture things in my health and recovery journey. 44 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:23,880 Speaker 1: I'm trying to eat what I need, exercise in a 45 00:02:23,919 --> 00:02:27,560 Speaker 1: way that is not tortuous in parentheses, enjoyable movement, and 46 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:30,840 Speaker 1: trying to work against diet culture. I work with a dietitian, 47 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:33,600 Speaker 1: and I feel like this competition is something that I 48 00:02:33,639 --> 00:02:36,280 Speaker 1: can easily be bothered by. How can I fight against 49 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:38,600 Speaker 1: or educate all my friends and family on how I'm 50 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,799 Speaker 1: trying to stay away from diet culture or that I'm 51 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,080 Speaker 1: not eating or moving the way I used to Julie 52 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,840 Speaker 1: from Chicago. I really love that you said Julie from Chicago, 53 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:49,520 Speaker 1: because I think that comes from Amy's podcast, because she 54 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:53,480 Speaker 1: does a episode on Four Things with Amy Brown where 55 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:56,720 Speaker 1: she reads emails from listeners and sometimes their questions, and 56 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,239 Speaker 1: she asks for people to stay where they're from. And 57 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:01,480 Speaker 1: that's not because I guess I never know where people 58 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:04,040 Speaker 1: are ready from. So Julie from Chicago, Hey there, and 59 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:06,560 Speaker 1: thanks for telling you where you're from. Now let's go 60 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:09,720 Speaker 1: into the question. So this is tough. It's very tough, 61 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:12,840 Speaker 1: and even if you are not participating in this type 62 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:15,400 Speaker 1: of challenge, it can still be triggering to be around 63 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:17,400 Speaker 1: it and hear about it all the time, because a 64 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:20,840 Speaker 1: lot of times these challenges become everything that these people 65 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:24,320 Speaker 1: talk about and do. Now I'm wondering if they have 66 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:26,720 Speaker 1: tried to get you on board with the challenge or 67 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:29,200 Speaker 1: if you are looking just for ways to tell them 68 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:32,679 Speaker 1: that you need some boundaries around the talk about the competition. 69 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,680 Speaker 1: So we'll get more into that, But up top, I 70 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:39,560 Speaker 1: wanted to say that this is something that I um despise, 71 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:42,760 Speaker 1: for lack of a better word, despise, and something that 72 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:46,880 Speaker 1: I would have been also so down four years ago. 73 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:51,400 Speaker 1: I'm not anymore clearly, but I actually just recently deactivated 74 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:55,280 Speaker 1: a gym membership because they announced a challenge that was 75 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:58,040 Speaker 1: kind of similar. They were offering cash prizes for the 76 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:00,880 Speaker 1: people who entered the challenge lee who at the end 77 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:04,080 Speaker 1: of the challenge had the most body fat percentage loss 78 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:06,680 Speaker 1: over whatever period of time it is, And that just 79 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:09,720 Speaker 1: blew my mind. Blows my mind that that is a 80 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:13,960 Speaker 1: thing that people are offering in a guise of health 81 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:16,320 Speaker 1: and wellness, because that's not what health and wellness is. 82 00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:18,719 Speaker 1: So before we get into your question, let's talk about 83 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:22,359 Speaker 1: why these fitness challenges, Whether they're in gyms or in 84 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:26,120 Speaker 1: groups of friends or families are problematic. So one this 85 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,479 Speaker 1: sends the message that health and fitness are a look 86 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:31,159 Speaker 1: and a weight in a size, and they are not. 87 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:34,520 Speaker 1: And like Kaisa said in this week on the episode 88 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:37,560 Speaker 1: on Monday, health is a feeling. Health and being fit 89 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:40,800 Speaker 1: are allowed to be relative things to individuals based on 90 00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:44,480 Speaker 1: their own makeup and their journey, and it puts individuals 91 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:47,640 Speaker 1: against each other rather than rooting with each other for 92 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:52,000 Speaker 1: each personal individual goal that someone is reaching. So we 93 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:55,080 Speaker 1: do these challenges, It says, this is what health is. 94 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,320 Speaker 1: Health is losing this weight, or health is having the 95 00:04:57,320 --> 00:04:59,919 Speaker 1: most weight loss or whatever the challenges, or health is 96 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:03,640 Speaker 1: only eating these foods, or health is restricting this when 97 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:07,719 Speaker 1: it's taking away the individualism of people, and it takes 98 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:10,760 Speaker 1: away what health actually really is, and it's a feeling 99 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:14,320 Speaker 1: and it's something that's created on on balance and paying 100 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:17,799 Speaker 1: attention to your body and your needs despite the person 101 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:21,160 Speaker 1: next to you because you have different makeups. Completely. So 102 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:24,240 Speaker 1: the other thing is this is can be so defeating 103 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:27,600 Speaker 1: and really unmotivating to go to a gym, especially if 104 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,360 Speaker 1: you are already self conscious and then you are pegged 105 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,719 Speaker 1: against the person next to you, who, like I said, 106 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:36,599 Speaker 1: as a completely different maybe fitness background, let alone body 107 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:41,320 Speaker 1: type and and health and different health problems or concerns. 108 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:44,600 Speaker 1: It takes your goals away and it puts them at 109 00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:48,280 Speaker 1: the group and makes the entire communities goals the same. 110 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:51,120 Speaker 1: And it is just so bizarre, so so bizarre. The 111 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:54,279 Speaker 1: other thing, too, is when it comes to competitions, people 112 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:56,680 Speaker 1: will go really far to win, right, Like, that's the 113 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,640 Speaker 1: point of a competition is to win. Like and people 114 00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:01,640 Speaker 1: are that join these competitions probably are competitive. It becomes 115 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:04,520 Speaker 1: about winning and it becomes less about health. I think 116 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:05,960 Speaker 1: it was last year. Maybe it was at the end 117 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:08,320 Speaker 1: of the pandemic. I don't know. We're in the pandemic again. 118 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:10,680 Speaker 1: But at some point in the last year. There's a 119 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:14,400 Speaker 1: cycling studio in Nashville that did a competition for people 120 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:17,200 Speaker 1: who could ride the most miles on the bike in 121 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:19,680 Speaker 1: a period of time. And let's just be very real 122 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 1: for a second. Their goal was not to help get 123 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:26,720 Speaker 1: you moving in a healthy way and optimize your health journey. 124 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:29,279 Speaker 1: Their goal was to get more people on their bikes 125 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:32,160 Speaker 1: and make more money. Period like, that was their goal. 126 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:35,520 Speaker 1: There were riders that were taking four classes in one 127 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:39,040 Speaker 1: day so they could ride the most miles and then regardless, 128 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:41,680 Speaker 1: this will make sense to some people, but if you're 129 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:44,440 Speaker 1: focused on riding the most miles in an indoor cycling class, 130 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:47,000 Speaker 1: you're not actually taking the class because you're just trying 131 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,640 Speaker 1: to pedal as fast as you can the whole time, 132 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:52,080 Speaker 1: and that's not taking the class. So it defeats every 133 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:55,159 Speaker 1: purpose there is, and that I think is really upsetting. 134 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:57,120 Speaker 1: And that's what we also have to remember, not when 135 00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,800 Speaker 1: these competitions are within families, but when they're at gyms. 136 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,680 Speaker 1: You have to be very mindful. Are these competitions really 137 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:05,279 Speaker 1: to help me and to help my goals and to 138 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:09,400 Speaker 1: help motivate me, or these competitions created to make these 139 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:12,559 Speaker 1: people money and then they're putting this mask of trying 140 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:14,960 Speaker 1: to help you on there. That's so inauthentic and it's gross. 141 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:17,320 Speaker 1: I really don't like it. In four classes a day, 142 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:20,800 Speaker 1: that's terrifying. I would hope that there would be a 143 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,440 Speaker 1: limit at any gym on how many classes somebody could 144 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,600 Speaker 1: take in a day, And generally in our world today, 145 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:28,360 Speaker 1: fitness competitions are at the benefit of the studio, not 146 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:38,320 Speaker 1: the client. I actually had to email I won't name 147 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:41,320 Speaker 1: the gym, but I had a client a couple of 148 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:44,480 Speaker 1: years ago who was going to a pretty popular gym 149 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:47,080 Speaker 1: across the country, and she came to me with an 150 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:49,320 Speaker 1: eating disorder and she was going to this gym, which 151 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:50,960 Speaker 1: is fine, but then she was telling me about this 152 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:54,120 Speaker 1: competition she was doing. Basically, the gym gave her a 153 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:56,720 Speaker 1: meal plan and a workout schedule, or she had to 154 00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:58,880 Speaker 1: work out a certain amount of times a week, and 155 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:00,960 Speaker 1: then they gave her a goal for how much weight 156 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:03,000 Speaker 1: she was supposed to lose, and it was six weeks, 157 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:05,200 Speaker 1: and if she lost the weight at the end of 158 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:09,040 Speaker 1: the six weeks, then she got her money back for 159 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:12,160 Speaker 1: the competition, and if she didn't lose that weight, they 160 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:16,880 Speaker 1: kept it. Well despite anything else, the goal was completely unrealistic. 161 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,600 Speaker 1: It was an amount of weight that no person should 162 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:22,040 Speaker 1: be losing in six weeks, so she's already set up 163 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:24,600 Speaker 1: to fail. But then the problem behind that is there's 164 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:27,200 Speaker 1: no screening for if this person has an eating disorder 165 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:30,880 Speaker 1: or disordered exercise relationship. There's none of that. And the 166 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:34,440 Speaker 1: meal plan is not something that is created by a dietitian. 167 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:37,040 Speaker 1: It's something that's just created by I don't somebody who 168 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:39,719 Speaker 1: calls themselves a nutritionist. I guess that they're at their 169 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:42,719 Speaker 1: gym who does not know this person's background. It was 170 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:45,760 Speaker 1: a very restrictive meal plan and it was terrifying to 171 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:49,319 Speaker 1: me because she was expected to do this hardcore exercise 172 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:52,160 Speaker 1: on a restricted diet, which was a problem itself. And 173 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:55,199 Speaker 1: then they also didn't know that she was probably binging 174 00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:57,120 Speaker 1: and purging in the background, and she could have had 175 00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 1: a heart attack in those workouts. She could have had 176 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:02,079 Speaker 1: a lot things. Needless to say, I sent them an 177 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:04,600 Speaker 1: email and she immediately got her money back and she 178 00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:07,280 Speaker 1: was released of the competition with no problems once I 179 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:12,079 Speaker 1: sent my kind very distraught email to them. Like I said, 180 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,880 Speaker 1: these competitions aren't taking into account a lot of things. 181 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:17,880 Speaker 1: And also most of them do not have qualified people 182 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:20,160 Speaker 1: running them. No one should be giving you a mail plan, 183 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:22,800 Speaker 1: especially a weight loss promoting one that will be combined 184 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:27,280 Speaker 1: with heavy exercise without being a registered dietitian. That is 185 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,840 Speaker 1: negligent and it is dangerous. And also eating disorders, disordered 186 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:34,360 Speaker 1: eating and exercise addictions are all over the place inside 187 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:37,559 Speaker 1: of fitness studios. I've never seen screenings for these when 188 00:09:37,559 --> 00:09:40,920 Speaker 1: these programs are offered, and that is probably because the 189 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:44,440 Speaker 1: people offering them are not educating these areas. And if 190 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:46,440 Speaker 1: we're going to offer these kinds of things, which I 191 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:48,440 Speaker 1: don't think we should offer, we at least need to 192 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:51,840 Speaker 1: be educated in what the possible implications of them might be. 193 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:54,040 Speaker 1: So those are just some of the reasons why these 194 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:56,520 Speaker 1: are not really helpful things. And they're scary things. And 195 00:09:56,559 --> 00:09:58,560 Speaker 1: I think I'm talking a lot about gyms, and I 196 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:01,000 Speaker 1: know these things happen in friend groups and families too, 197 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:04,040 Speaker 1: and that's what this question is about. This also has 198 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:07,439 Speaker 1: a problem in friend groups and families. Basically, take the 199 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:11,840 Speaker 1: money aspect out, the making money aspect out of a studio. 200 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,520 Speaker 1: This also becomes the competition part of what we will 201 00:10:14,559 --> 00:10:16,920 Speaker 1: do whatever it takes to win, and then it becomes 202 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:21,120 Speaker 1: about winning a competition rather than actually working towards health. 203 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:24,439 Speaker 1: And everybody's health is different. That's what we have got 204 00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:27,520 Speaker 1: to realize. Health is different for everybody. Health is not 205 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:30,880 Speaker 1: a look. I cannot look at somebody and say that 206 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 1: person is healthy, that person is not. I can't do it. 207 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:35,960 Speaker 1: I cannot do it because I do not know what 208 00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:37,840 Speaker 1: actually is going on the side of that person's body, 209 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:40,760 Speaker 1: what's going on the side of that person's mind. Let alone. 210 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:43,439 Speaker 1: If we could just look at somebody and know if 211 00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:45,600 Speaker 1: they were healthy or not, then we wouldn't actually need 212 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:48,600 Speaker 1: things like physicals and stuff like that when we're at 213 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:51,400 Speaker 1: the doctor. We wouldn't have to do all that. Health 214 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:53,600 Speaker 1: is not a look, and that is something that diet 215 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:57,439 Speaker 1: culture is really trying hard to not let us believe. 216 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:00,920 Speaker 1: But I want you guys to know that diet culture 217 00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:06,240 Speaker 1: feeds off of us thinking that they're helping us become healthy, 218 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:09,520 Speaker 1: when in reality, the diet culture all the things that 219 00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:13,320 Speaker 1: are wrapped up in that are actually manipulating us to 220 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:17,120 Speaker 1: help them make money. They're not really for us. They're not. 221 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:20,600 Speaker 1: It's sad, but that's the truth there. So let's get 222 00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:23,120 Speaker 1: to your actual question. So you said, how can I 223 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:25,720 Speaker 1: fight against or educate all friends and family on how 224 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:28,200 Speaker 1: I'm trying to stay away from diet culture or that 225 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:30,040 Speaker 1: I'm not eating or moving the way I used to. 226 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,000 Speaker 1: I really like this question because it is about you 227 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,520 Speaker 1: and not them at like the way you phrase it. 228 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:38,920 Speaker 1: I would focus more on how you can help your 229 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:43,000 Speaker 1: friends understand you better rather than change their minds. And 230 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:45,120 Speaker 1: that really does sound like what you're trying to do 231 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:47,560 Speaker 1: and where your head's at the reality is, we can't 232 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:50,560 Speaker 1: force anyone to change their behavior or lifestyle or beliefs. 233 00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:53,760 Speaker 1: But what we can do is educate them on ours 234 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:57,160 Speaker 1: so they can better support us. So when somebody's telling 235 00:11:57,600 --> 00:12:00,120 Speaker 1: us about their fitness challenge, instead of being like, oh 236 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,760 Speaker 1: my gosh, that's so bad, blah blah blah blah, and like, 237 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:06,000 Speaker 1: you know, going getting really passionate and shaming them and 238 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:08,360 Speaker 1: all that, not that you're doing this, you can say 239 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:11,000 Speaker 1: something like, oh wow, that would have been something I 240 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:14,560 Speaker 1: would have jumped at in my past. Luckily, I have 241 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:17,800 Speaker 1: learned a lot and what is a healthy relationship with 242 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:20,760 Speaker 1: food and movement and my body and what that looks 243 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:24,120 Speaker 1: like for me, and those kinds of things aren't appealing 244 00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:26,760 Speaker 1: to me anymore and they don't fit in that. If 245 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,559 Speaker 1: you're interested, I'm totally open to talking about it more 246 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:32,240 Speaker 1: with you. So what you're saying there is like, oh wow, 247 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:34,400 Speaker 1: like that's something I would have totally done. I get 248 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:36,839 Speaker 1: why that would be appealing to you. I've done a 249 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:38,640 Speaker 1: lot of soul searching and I've learned a lot of 250 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:42,319 Speaker 1: new things that have changed that appeal and why that 251 00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:45,000 Speaker 1: and the fact that wouldn't be something I'm interested in. 252 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:46,760 Speaker 1: If you want to know more, I'd be happy to 253 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:50,480 Speaker 1: tell you. So you're also like testing the waters there, right, 254 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,800 Speaker 1: So you're saying are they open to even hearing because 255 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:55,640 Speaker 1: if people aren't open to hearing this, they're gonna come 256 00:12:55,679 --> 00:12:57,760 Speaker 1: at you very defensively, and they're going to be coming 257 00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,160 Speaker 1: at you ready to defend diet culture and what ever 258 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:03,600 Speaker 1: program they're doing, and that's never really a fruitful conversation. 259 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,160 Speaker 1: I think it's really helpful to talk about how this 260 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:09,640 Speaker 1: outlook has helped you and and what wasn't working before 261 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:12,360 Speaker 1: if they are open to hearing about it. And what 262 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,920 Speaker 1: I've learned about all of this stuff through a lot 263 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,760 Speaker 1: of my work with clients and just doing the podcast 264 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:21,720 Speaker 1: is things that may seem second nature to you and 265 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:25,280 Speaker 1: your recovery process are not to the general public. And 266 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:27,720 Speaker 1: this is because, like I said, the health and wellness 267 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:31,280 Speaker 1: industry is actually a very very unhealthy industry. So things 268 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:34,080 Speaker 1: that are really not good for us are postured as 269 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:38,199 Speaker 1: the picture of health. That's very confusing for somebody who 270 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:41,160 Speaker 1: has just been clued into that for so long, which 271 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:43,880 Speaker 1: is easy to be concluded into that diet culture is 272 00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:45,360 Speaker 1: something that has sold to us in a way that 273 00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:49,480 Speaker 1: promises to help us, but in reality, it is trying 274 00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:55,120 Speaker 1: to make the industry money. It's confusing, it's frustrating, it's manipulative, 275 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:58,360 Speaker 1: it's all the things. But when we are sitting with 276 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:01,280 Speaker 1: people who are engulfed in dieture, we have to remember that, 277 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:04,600 Speaker 1: almost as if people get brainwashed into it, because they're like, no, 278 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,280 Speaker 1: this product is great, it has this thing and this 279 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,600 Speaker 1: this program is great, it's going to do this. This 280 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,840 Speaker 1: person created this program. There's such a good person. I'm like, no, 281 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:16,480 Speaker 1: this person created this program to make money. But and yes, 282 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:19,720 Speaker 1: I think that we can't just demonize anything or anybody 283 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:23,680 Speaker 1: who is making money, because in reality, I make money 284 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:26,160 Speaker 1: off of helping people. But you really have to be 285 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,160 Speaker 1: careful when it comes to the diet culture stuff and 286 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:31,120 Speaker 1: the gym stuff and Jim's are businesses and they need 287 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,480 Speaker 1: to make money. For sure, there's nothing wrong with that. 288 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:36,280 Speaker 1: I pay money to Jim's, I pay money to trainers, 289 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:38,960 Speaker 1: I pay that, But it's the what are you paying 290 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,360 Speaker 1: for and what are they promising you? And how are 291 00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:43,920 Speaker 1: they promising it to you? And how are they supporting you? 292 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,280 Speaker 1: And how are they encouraging you. You have to be 293 00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:49,360 Speaker 1: pretty mindful of that stuff. And I also feel like 294 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:51,920 Speaker 1: it's very necessary for me to add that some people 295 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:54,560 Speaker 1: just won't ever get this. Even if you do talk 296 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:56,680 Speaker 1: to them and you do explain to them and and 297 00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:58,840 Speaker 1: you ask for support and all of that, they just 298 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:01,120 Speaker 1: won't get it. They'll still want to argue with you, 299 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:03,640 Speaker 1: and they won't want to respect your boundaries, and they'll 300 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:06,120 Speaker 1: have a really tough time. That really speaks a lot 301 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:09,200 Speaker 1: about where they're at and their journey, not about you. 302 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,800 Speaker 1: That is when you have to create some boundaries for yourself. 303 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,960 Speaker 1: Limit the time you spend with people. Limit the kind 304 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,920 Speaker 1: of time you spend with people. Maybe you don't work 305 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:19,720 Speaker 1: out with that person, maybe you don't cook with that person, 306 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:22,000 Speaker 1: maybe you don't go out to eat with that person. 307 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:24,720 Speaker 1: That your boundaries could be anything. And I mean even 308 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,480 Speaker 1: my mind still is blown all the time by some 309 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,480 Speaker 1: of the things that people in my life still say 310 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:33,520 Speaker 1: to me, regardless of them knowing my story. So deep 311 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:36,000 Speaker 1: breaths and boundaries are something you might want to take 312 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:39,360 Speaker 1: with you into these conversations and into these relationships. I'm 313 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:42,200 Speaker 1: super grateful for this question, and I'm super grateful for 314 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:45,200 Speaker 1: your desire to educate, use the word to educate your 315 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,240 Speaker 1: friends and family on on how you're trying to stay 316 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,800 Speaker 1: away from this, and hopefully this is helpful to you. 317 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,360 Speaker 1: And I think that you're already on the right track 318 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,960 Speaker 1: by noticing that this is something that is possibly super 319 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,240 Speaker 1: triggering to you, even though you have things set up 320 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:02,440 Speaker 1: in your life to help you. So good luck out there, 321 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:06,440 Speaker 1: and go into it with some grace for your friends 322 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:08,960 Speaker 1: because at one point you were in that spot, and 323 00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:12,160 Speaker 1: grace for yourself because um, you're not going to do 324 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:14,360 Speaker 1: this perfectly, and hopefully you can find a way to 325 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:17,560 Speaker 1: maintain the relationships you have with these people and also 326 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:21,560 Speaker 1: feel supported. So this wraps up this episode of Couch Talks. 327 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:23,720 Speaker 1: Like I said, We're just going to do one question 328 00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,880 Speaker 1: today because I wanted to, you know, say all the 329 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:27,920 Speaker 1: things I need to say about that, and my voice 330 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:31,200 Speaker 1: can't handle much more. So I'm gonna go drink some 331 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:35,040 Speaker 1: tea with some honey, and I'm going to drink some 332 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:37,800 Speaker 1: water with that as well and hydrate and I will 333 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:41,440 Speaker 1: be back next Monday with a full episode for you guys. 334 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:43,600 Speaker 1: If you don't follow me, go ahead to do that 335 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:46,880 Speaker 1: at cat dot de FATA and at You Need Therapy podcast, 336 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,520 Speaker 1: And if you haven't and you have thirty seconds to spare, 337 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:54,800 Speaker 1: I would love if you could rate, follow, and comment 338 00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:57,600 Speaker 1: on this podcast and help kind of get the word 339 00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:59,920 Speaker 1: out there about what we're doing and what we're talking about. 340 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,040 Speaker 1: Love you guys. I'm gonna go have the day I 341 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:03,720 Speaker 1: need to have, which is one with lots of tea. 342 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:05,679 Speaker 1: You guys, go have the day you need to have, 343 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:07,199 Speaker 1: and I will talk to you on Monday.