1 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:05,400 Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast. 2 00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:09,840 Speaker 2: Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of wind Own 3 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:11,399 Speaker 2: Emotionally Stable today. 4 00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:16,000 Speaker 3: Uh you feel there? You feel we would just start 5 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:16,760 Speaker 3: with a temperture check. 6 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:22,680 Speaker 2: What's funny is that? Hannah? Sweet Hannah. She texted me 7 00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:25,960 Speaker 2: yesterday going, Hey, just checking Anya to see how you're 8 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:30,040 Speaker 2: feeling about this week. Listen, it was way too soon 9 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:34,240 Speaker 2: to record. How many days was it Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, 10 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 2: three days post giving or four because we record on Friday. Yeah, 11 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:41,839 Speaker 2: so but four days post having a C section. The 12 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:44,520 Speaker 2: problem is nobody could have told you differently though. Sure 13 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:48,360 Speaker 2: I actually thought was how are we podcasting? 14 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:51,599 Speaker 4: But don't tell her that because she's convinced she's got this, 15 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:52,280 Speaker 4: Which you did? 16 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:53,280 Speaker 3: I mean, you did great. 17 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:57,600 Speaker 2: I did until the very end of the show. Well, 18 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:01,520 Speaker 2: I canceled Thursday therapy because I really that morning that 19 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:05,240 Speaker 2: I just I wasn't really ready. But I also wanted 20 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:07,440 Speaker 2: to do the birth story and have you girls over. 21 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:10,240 Speaker 2: So I texted Hannah right before the episode and I said, hey, girl, 22 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:13,480 Speaker 2: I'm just not feeling good. I cannot do because the 23 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:17,120 Speaker 2: therapy one just felt like this us girls, it is 24 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:19,920 Speaker 2: just fun, us hanging out. We got to chill, tell 25 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,320 Speaker 2: tell a story. But then the therapy in the back 26 00:01:22,319 --> 00:01:24,160 Speaker 2: of my mind it felt like work, and then I 27 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:26,600 Speaker 2: started to get anxiety, like I'm just not ready yet, 28 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:30,440 Speaker 2: and then so I had canceled that, and then I 29 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:33,319 Speaker 2: felt good about that. But the second I started reading 30 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:37,640 Speaker 2: the ads when you guys left, y'all, this is so embarrassing. 31 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:43,080 Speaker 2: But Hannah and Easton we're on We're on the zoom 32 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:46,680 Speaker 2: obviously with us, and I'm in the middle of reading 33 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:49,360 Speaker 2: like butcher Box, like get Your Year Fore of Fun, 34 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:54,920 Speaker 2: and I was like, I was like, I'm literally crying 35 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,840 Speaker 2: during the middle of a butcher Box app but I 36 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:58,720 Speaker 2: just go I don't know why I'm crying. It was 37 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:02,040 Speaker 2: so speak because you came down and Ken are like okay, no, 38 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:05,000 Speaker 2: I just started crying and we both are like okay, 39 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,880 Speaker 2: fair enough, and then Kat goes, so, what was it 40 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:09,760 Speaker 2: about the ad that really brought me the tears? And 41 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:12,640 Speaker 2: I thought, yeah, I guess I was for the Free 42 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:13,240 Speaker 2: Range Show. 43 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:18,400 Speaker 4: Maybe there was some aspect of it that actually but no, literally, 44 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:19,600 Speaker 4: it was just like get Your. 45 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:22,919 Speaker 2: Beach was very passionate about animal rights. 46 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:25,480 Speaker 1: I bow it out. 47 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:28,919 Speaker 2: I was like it's okay. Well, and then I didn't 48 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,799 Speaker 2: I didn't even know. I just was maybe it felt 49 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:35,840 Speaker 2: wired and I just didn't want to be I don't 50 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:38,760 Speaker 2: know that was a maybe it just gave birth and 51 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:41,000 Speaker 2: maybe don't need to have a reason. But I was 52 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:42,760 Speaker 2: just reading it and then I just started crying. And 53 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:47,200 Speaker 2: then Hannah's like that's part. Hannah's like, it's okay, we 54 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:49,160 Speaker 2: can we can just stop, like you don't, you don't 55 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:51,720 Speaker 2: have to, like like, I'm like covering my face beause 56 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,600 Speaker 2: I get embarrassed, you know, moments like that. And then 57 00:02:54,639 --> 00:02:59,440 Speaker 2: Easton goes, if you could just stop record on the record. 58 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:04,400 Speaker 2: Euston's so tenderhearted, and I was like, poor people, and 59 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:06,120 Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, I'm so embarrassed. And 60 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,639 Speaker 2: then I go downstairs and I cry even more because 61 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:10,560 Speaker 2: I'm like it was a butcher box ad. There's nothing 62 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,880 Speaker 2: against the beef for the eggs, but I show to 63 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:13,600 Speaker 2: do it. 64 00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:18,119 Speaker 4: For people that who have not given birth to a baby. 65 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:20,440 Speaker 4: It is the weirdest thing to me. I mean, I 66 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:22,600 Speaker 4: can remember, I don't know why I'm crying. It's the 67 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:24,640 Speaker 4: strangest feeling, like there's no. 68 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:28,960 Speaker 2: This time specifically, it has been harder for me to 69 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:31,399 Speaker 2: have those moments because I'm I feel like I'm such 70 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:35,200 Speaker 2: a more well human, like a whole human that normally 71 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,200 Speaker 2: if I'm like losing it, I can go Okay, Kristen, 72 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:39,680 Speaker 2: like what is the pit of this? Like why? What? 73 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:39,840 Speaker 5: What? 74 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:43,920 Speaker 3: There's no pit? So you just get your sendless emotion. 75 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:49,600 Speaker 2: Fine, anyways, you're feeling good. Yeah, So today I was like, Okay, 76 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:52,120 Speaker 2: now I feel ready to podcast. We can talk about 77 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:55,360 Speaker 2: beef and chicken and talk about all the beef to 78 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:58,920 Speaker 2: wait a week a week yes, which y'all suggested, and 79 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,040 Speaker 2: I was like, no, that'll be fine, totally good. Well, 80 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:03,640 Speaker 2: it does feel, I will say, like some normalcy, you know, 81 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:06,040 Speaker 2: like when you were like why are you jumping on? 82 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,080 Speaker 2: And I don't know that I even contributed anything. It 83 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,440 Speaker 2: just felt good to feel like a person again quickly, 84 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:14,080 Speaker 2: because you know, it's very your body just goes through 85 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:16,120 Speaker 2: a lot. You feel a little sacrificial for a minute, 86 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:17,880 Speaker 2: and it's like, where do I land in all this 87 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:18,800 Speaker 2: besides caregiver? 88 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:19,520 Speaker 3: Yeah. 89 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:24,320 Speaker 2: The crying though has uh. Obviously I cried when the 90 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:27,960 Speaker 2: kids left for Virginia and that was a very strange. 91 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:31,480 Speaker 2: That was the first time leaving or the kids leaving 92 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:35,440 Speaker 2: and then having this sweet baby. It was a very weird. 93 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:39,400 Speaker 2: I felt a little guilt little like yeah, like the 94 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:40,080 Speaker 2: mom guilt. 95 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,200 Speaker 3: I think you had him here with the baby and. 96 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:44,039 Speaker 4: You would have probably felt that no matter what though, 97 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:46,160 Speaker 4: oh for you, you know what I mean. 98 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, I felt justified those tears. 99 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:53,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, and then you know, uh yeah that, like you said, 100 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:57,599 Speaker 2: like that piece is hard. But it's that weird balance. 101 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:00,560 Speaker 2: But then also, I've really enjoyed this time. I'm just 102 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:04,400 Speaker 2: with me, Rowman and Alan, you know, just that. But 103 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:07,159 Speaker 2: then that makes me feel a little guilty, don't, don't. 104 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:10,719 Speaker 2: But it's been really nice just to have like, okay, 105 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:11,640 Speaker 2: some quiet. 106 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,760 Speaker 3: I'm so glad to hear you say that. 107 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:15,599 Speaker 4: I mean, we talked about this last week when I 108 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:17,440 Speaker 4: was like I wanted to stay at the hospital because 109 00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:20,560 Speaker 4: I wanted time just us and the third baby, and like, 110 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:22,320 Speaker 4: don't feel bad about that. 111 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:26,479 Speaker 2: That's okay, Yeah, it just it feels. Ashley Houston texted me, 112 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:28,119 Speaker 2: She's like, hey, girl, checking in, like how you feeling. 113 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:31,479 Speaker 2: And I'm like very peaceful actually with just the three 114 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:33,240 Speaker 2: and just laying there and we don't have to get 115 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,680 Speaker 2: up and yeah, and again I missed the bigs more 116 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:39,159 Speaker 2: than anything. But also I'm and I'm enjoying, you know, 117 00:05:39,279 --> 00:05:41,480 Speaker 2: this special time with the three of us because I 118 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,880 Speaker 2: even said, Allan, we're going to get the kids back 119 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:46,039 Speaker 2: in five days now, like when he comes back, Like 120 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:48,080 Speaker 2: we get the kids. So this is with five days 121 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:49,920 Speaker 2: that we get to really just hunger out. 122 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:53,040 Speaker 3: And you're really not going to get that much. 123 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:56,640 Speaker 2: No, besides the week I mean after Christmas, and that's. 124 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:59,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's few and far between. So enjoy it. Don't 125 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:01,960 Speaker 3: feel guilt about it. Yeah, just enjoy it. 126 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:05,360 Speaker 4: But like you said, and you can miss your children, yeah, 127 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:08,119 Speaker 4: and I kind of wish they were here, but also 128 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:09,479 Speaker 4: enjoy this time. 129 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:11,440 Speaker 3: Just make the most of it. And they're having a 130 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:12,160 Speaker 3: great time too. 131 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,479 Speaker 2: I think some of the photo of the kids and 132 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:16,880 Speaker 2: I just I sat like a little cry face heart 133 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,400 Speaker 2: like so happy, and I go, man, they're so loved 134 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:23,200 Speaker 2: and they're so happy. Yeah that makes me. Yeah, because 135 00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:25,440 Speaker 2: they need that this time as well. 136 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:30,080 Speaker 4: Yeah, absolutely well, and they're getting because also when a 137 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:32,719 Speaker 4: new baby is here, like you know, to see the 138 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:36,400 Speaker 4: positive side of it. Also, like other the older kids 139 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:38,480 Speaker 4: do kind of get the shaft when a new baby's around. 140 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:40,520 Speaker 4: There's not much you can do about it. You've got 141 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:43,040 Speaker 4: a crying newborn, that's whatever. So they actually are getting 142 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:46,599 Speaker 4: such one on one time and they are getting so 143 00:06:47,839 --> 00:06:50,560 Speaker 4: just the time they probably wouldn't have had if they 144 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:50,960 Speaker 4: were here. 145 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:52,360 Speaker 2: For what it's worth. 146 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:53,400 Speaker 3: Yea, yes to that. 147 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:54,800 Speaker 2: I have done a few. I don't know if you 148 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:57,320 Speaker 2: did this, have done this too, and you probably same 149 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,159 Speaker 2: when when Ramsey came home, but when the be he 150 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:03,160 Speaker 2: does cry too, and the kids are here, I'm like, 151 00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:05,520 Speaker 2: he's fine, Like what do you need, Jolie, what do 152 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,440 Speaker 2: you need Jason? So I'm like, I'm always making sure 153 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:09,000 Speaker 2: I am tending to them because I don't want them 154 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:09,880 Speaker 2: to feel shafted. 155 00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:10,640 Speaker 3: Yeah you know. 156 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:12,840 Speaker 2: So I also asked them what they think the baby 157 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,440 Speaker 2: needs because they like to try to figure it out. Yeah. 158 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:18,560 Speaker 4: Have them help is huge, especially the older ages when 159 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:20,000 Speaker 4: you have a little bit of a gap. I just 160 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,640 Speaker 4: made them so a part of it, like okay, great, 161 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:24,920 Speaker 4: can you do diapers? Can you get the diaper? Can 162 00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:26,840 Speaker 4: you get the formula? I just like had them help 163 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,840 Speaker 4: and they just felt and they always wanted to be 164 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:30,520 Speaker 4: there and help, and it was great. 165 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:33,160 Speaker 2: Jolie wants to help, but because she had that stomach book, 166 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:36,960 Speaker 2: I'm just like, wait one more week, honey. Well yeah, 167 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:40,040 Speaker 2: and Jason's just like always passes him and goes, oh, 168 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,680 Speaker 2: you're so cute, but then wants nothing else to do. 169 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:44,960 Speaker 3: So I'm like, that's okay. Yeah. 170 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:49,040 Speaker 2: Well, Leggie's a little aggressive lover, which I is probably genetic, 171 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:51,160 Speaker 2: but it gets a little like Lenny and the Rabbits 172 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:53,560 Speaker 2: with her. So I'm like a little calm, you know, 173 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:54,880 Speaker 2: like a little less because he's. 174 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:56,760 Speaker 3: Like, I'm. 175 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:03,680 Speaker 2: All right, but about me, how are you girls? 176 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:05,520 Speaker 6: Well? 177 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:08,480 Speaker 3: Wed? 178 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:11,520 Speaker 2: Well, I think it's I think it's worth noting since 179 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:15,120 Speaker 2: we're talking about new babies and all the things we 180 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:17,960 Speaker 2: are starting to see a little bit, and I didn't 181 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:21,320 Speaker 2: want to. I'm very I run very tight defense for 182 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:23,480 Speaker 2: our little peace of the world, my little corner of 183 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:25,560 Speaker 2: the world. I don't like people's opinions a lot. I 184 00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:27,640 Speaker 2: don't like people saying, oh, you know, he's going to 185 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:29,000 Speaker 2: be like this, or they're going to be like that. 186 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:31,040 Speaker 2: I just you don't like furry things. 187 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:32,040 Speaker 7: I don't. 188 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:35,720 Speaker 2: I don't like people telling me that, like, somebody's going 189 00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:38,360 Speaker 2: to be this way, right, And so I just let 190 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,520 Speaker 2: our experience unfold as it will. 191 00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:42,839 Speaker 3: Sure we are starting to. 192 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:47,720 Speaker 2: I'm starting to see the middle child moment with Legend, 193 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:51,960 Speaker 2: which I had strong Like, I never said it wasn't 194 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,960 Speaker 2: going to happen to us, but I have been so 195 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:57,320 Speaker 2: intentional about it that I was kind of praying it 196 00:08:57,360 --> 00:09:01,480 Speaker 2: wouldn't happen. Also, Legend the only boy, and he is 197 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:06,760 Speaker 2: a very alpha personality too, so without anything, he demands 198 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:09,280 Speaker 2: a certain amount of attention. I think in the long run, 199 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,080 Speaker 2: having a new baby is great for him because he 200 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:13,080 Speaker 2: needs someone he can lead and it's going to be 201 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:17,080 Speaker 2: really special to him. Right now, we are in a 202 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:24,080 Speaker 2: really interesting season. I'm watching a few things happen like 203 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:27,040 Speaker 2: he did. Start to I don't. I always am careful 204 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:28,360 Speaker 2: about what I share with him too, because I don't 205 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,600 Speaker 2: want him like later thirty years listening to wind down 206 00:09:30,679 --> 00:09:33,720 Speaker 2: more than our husbands do and able to like check 207 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:36,440 Speaker 2: back in. But like you know, there were some accidents happening. 208 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:40,319 Speaker 2: There's some really just kind of like lousy choices, Like 209 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:43,439 Speaker 2: yesterday an entire bottle of essential oil, which is not inexpensive, 210 00:09:43,559 --> 00:09:45,600 Speaker 2: was dumped all over my bedroom. Smells like a dream 211 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:48,520 Speaker 2: in there. However, just like you know, I can just 212 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:53,040 Speaker 2: tell we're needing a certain different type of attention and 213 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:56,080 Speaker 2: when he asks for it in his non asking way. 214 00:09:57,200 --> 00:10:00,839 Speaker 2: It's hard to like get compassionate in the moment, right 215 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:03,640 Speaker 2: cleaning a boil and all the things. That's just prime examples. 216 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:06,240 Speaker 2: But we're in the thick of middle kid right now. 217 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:09,560 Speaker 2: Well so you say that, and I was. I told 218 00:10:09,559 --> 00:10:12,520 Speaker 2: this to you off air, But when you had spoken 219 00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:16,960 Speaker 2: about how Legend was acting a little middle child, in 220 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,800 Speaker 2: my mind, I thought, well, Jason isn't going to do that. 221 00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:23,040 Speaker 2: He's i know, not at all, like we're good, perfect, 222 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:26,800 Speaker 2: And then yeah, and then two days in, you know, 223 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:33,600 Speaker 2: he's looking for more attention by the loud you know, 224 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,480 Speaker 2: uh singing that he's doing that. He never sings in 225 00:10:36,559 --> 00:10:39,560 Speaker 2: the in This is My Life in the bathroom, I'm 226 00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:41,240 Speaker 2: glad he's singing, but I also know he's trying to 227 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:44,880 Speaker 2: look for attention the chorus. He's burping at the table 228 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:48,640 Speaker 2: very loudly, and usually he doesn't do that. If he burps, 229 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:50,560 Speaker 2: he always has excuse me. But his burps are now 230 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:56,240 Speaker 2: exaggerated and so, and then there's that, and then so 231 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:59,280 Speaker 2: I'm just I'm trying to love on him in certain 232 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:01,600 Speaker 2: ways and talk to him, but I can also see, Okay, 233 00:11:01,679 --> 00:11:04,240 Speaker 2: I look like I'm following. Now you're lead and going. 234 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:06,280 Speaker 2: All right, Christen, there was something to this. Yeah, it's 235 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:08,280 Speaker 2: strange because I feel like company morel as a whole 236 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,560 Speaker 2: is at an all time high. Like we all like her. 237 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:13,360 Speaker 2: I'm so thankful We've had mutual friends that have had 238 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:15,440 Speaker 2: really tough experiences with one of the big kids not 239 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:17,960 Speaker 2: liking the baby at all, oh and very vocal about it, 240 00:11:18,559 --> 00:11:20,600 Speaker 2: and so I'm so thankful that's not the case. 241 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:22,920 Speaker 3: And it does. It has been harder. 242 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:25,720 Speaker 2: Presen's been traveling a lot, so by myself pretty often, 243 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:28,000 Speaker 2: and I think, like I feel kind of divided. And 244 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,920 Speaker 2: as she gets older, she needs more. She's awake longer 245 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:34,280 Speaker 2: and she needs more attention, and she's rolling and trying 246 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:37,559 Speaker 2: to scoot, and so I can't just like put her 247 00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:39,719 Speaker 2: somewhere and then give him the attention. So we're just 248 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:41,120 Speaker 2: learning altogether right now. 249 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,240 Speaker 3: Well, I think it's such a balance for us. 250 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:46,920 Speaker 4: We really went through it more when Ramsey was more 251 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:50,480 Speaker 4: all over the place, not really a newborn newborn stage. 252 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:51,440 Speaker 3: Everyone wanted to help. 253 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:52,840 Speaker 4: But then when she was all over the place and 254 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,320 Speaker 4: you were like making her sure she doesn't die every second, 255 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:58,600 Speaker 4: you know, that's when we kind of had more of it. 256 00:11:58,679 --> 00:12:01,400 Speaker 4: But I think it's such a bad balance to give 257 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:05,560 Speaker 4: them one on one time but then also not give 258 00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:08,160 Speaker 4: into that like don't worry, I'm I'm not doing anything 259 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,360 Speaker 4: with the baby like I'm here. It's just such a 260 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:13,960 Speaker 4: balance because they have to learn that it is now three. 261 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:17,079 Speaker 4: You do have to you can't be everywhere. A mom 262 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:19,880 Speaker 4: cannot do everything at once, you know. So it's like 263 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:23,280 Speaker 4: such a balance of really showing them that. But I 264 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:25,200 Speaker 4: know it's hard for you because you don't president is 265 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:27,640 Speaker 4: in home a lot. But I do think it's also 266 00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:29,480 Speaker 4: important to do the one on one stuff. 267 00:12:29,679 --> 00:12:33,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, Like a the other day, sorry it's called them 268 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:35,800 Speaker 2: Alan Jayce was like, Mommy, will you played legs with me? 269 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:38,000 Speaker 2: And I'm like yes, because that was one on one time. 270 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:40,480 Speaker 2: Julie was at her friends and so and I just 271 00:12:40,679 --> 00:12:43,160 Speaker 2: you know, gave the baby Alan and the little rocker 272 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:46,040 Speaker 2: thing and sat up there and played legos and that. 273 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:48,360 Speaker 2: And I think it was doctor Amon that he said, 274 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:51,800 Speaker 2: spend ten minutes alone each day with the kids something 275 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:54,400 Speaker 2: that they want to do for ten minutes, and that's 276 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,319 Speaker 2: going to be something that they're going to remember and 277 00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:59,040 Speaker 2: that helps that relationship too. So That's been something I've 278 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:02,280 Speaker 2: always thought about as well. We part of like when 279 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:03,760 Speaker 2: the baby is just like there and I can see 280 00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:05,560 Speaker 2: Leggie out of the corner of my eye, I'll say, like, 281 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,880 Speaker 2: are you looking for Legend? Where is he? I bet 282 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:11,320 Speaker 2: he's looking for you? And then he's like, I'm right here, 283 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:13,680 Speaker 2: and I'm like, well, thank goodness. We were just wondering 284 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,160 Speaker 2: were you know, just trying to like validate, and I 285 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:17,760 Speaker 2: think they all feel it to a certain extent. 286 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:20,200 Speaker 4: They all are, and it's so normal and you're gonna 287 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:23,120 Speaker 4: mess up and you're gonna yeah, you know what I mean. 288 00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:24,800 Speaker 3: And it's just we're doing all. We're all done the 289 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:25,920 Speaker 3: best we can do. 290 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:29,719 Speaker 2: I have any Grays Anatomy fans here, Yes, I knew Kat. 291 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:31,240 Speaker 3: Was, of course I am. 292 00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:35,200 Speaker 2: I've watched. I stopped the twentieth season. I don't know, 293 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:39,280 Speaker 2: I was like twenty one maybe, Yeah, I watched a 294 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:42,520 Speaker 2: lot of it, and uh, but we're I'm really excited 295 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:44,480 Speaker 2: to have Sarah Drew come on the show. So she's 296 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:50,920 Speaker 2: obviously she's been a Madman, Glee, uh, everything, but she's 297 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:55,080 Speaker 2: best known as her part in Grey's Anatomy, and she's 298 00:13:55,400 --> 00:14:00,880 Speaker 2: just she also, which I didn't find out until way later, 299 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:04,079 Speaker 2: but she wrote, so I have a movie coming out 300 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:08,160 Speaker 2: on Lifetime December ninth, she wrote a Cowboy Christmas romance. 301 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:11,000 Speaker 2: So I'm excited to talk to her about that too. 302 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:35,520 Speaker 2: You uh, but let's get her on. I feel like 303 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:38,680 Speaker 2: I know you well obviously. I I I know of you. 304 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:41,800 Speaker 2: I've watched you on Grades Anatomy million years, like for 305 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:45,680 Speaker 2: for so many years. And then Ryan McPartland talks about 306 00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:50,080 Speaker 2: you all the time, and Brian and Herzlinger. I'm just like, 307 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:53,280 Speaker 2: I feel like Margaret, I know, I'm like, I just 308 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:56,000 Speaker 2: am like I feel like, you know, kind of a 309 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:58,240 Speaker 2: stalker psycho. But I'm like, I like, I know so 310 00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:00,360 Speaker 2: much of her, and I just feel like we're friends. 311 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:01,280 Speaker 2: And I don't even know you. 312 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:03,560 Speaker 6: But Hi, well, Hi, and girl. 313 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:07,360 Speaker 5: I watched every single take on all the dailies, and. 314 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:09,760 Speaker 6: So I really, oh, one hundred percent. 315 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,600 Speaker 5: I was shooting movie in Canada when you were shooting 316 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,640 Speaker 5: in Arizona, and so I would get the dailies every night. 317 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:17,720 Speaker 5: I would come home from shooting and I would sit 318 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:19,640 Speaker 5: in my bathtub because that's what I do when I'm 319 00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:21,680 Speaker 5: on set shooting. I have to have a bathtub because 320 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:24,160 Speaker 5: that's like my wine down time, and I'd have my 321 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:27,840 Speaker 5: iPad and I would be watching your gorgeous, beautiful, talented 322 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:32,680 Speaker 5: face and you you were so good in this. You 323 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:36,520 Speaker 5: are so good in this. I could not have asked 324 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:41,360 Speaker 5: for anyone else. It was such beautiful work. I hope 325 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:42,200 Speaker 5: you have you seen it. 326 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:43,240 Speaker 6: I hope you're so proud of it. 327 00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:46,800 Speaker 2: So I actually haven't watched it yet. I've only you know, 328 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:48,920 Speaker 2: I would obviously did the ADR and I've seen little 329 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:53,640 Speaker 2: pieces of it. It's it's honestly okay. So when I 330 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:57,440 Speaker 2: got the script and I read or I got I'm like, 331 00:15:57,480 --> 00:16:01,120 Speaker 2: it said untitled. What was it untitled? Would you have? 332 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:02,920 Speaker 6: There were so many names. 333 00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:06,080 Speaker 5: I named it Cowboy Christmas, but then it became Christmas 334 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,880 Speaker 5: on the Ranch, and then it became a cowboy Christmas Romance. 335 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:10,640 Speaker 6: So it's gone to many iterations. 336 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,760 Speaker 2: But when I got it, and this is not against 337 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:15,440 Speaker 2: you at all, but as you probably know this too, 338 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:17,280 Speaker 2: and you get I'm like, oh, I'm not a Christmas movie. 339 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:17,960 Speaker 2: I'm like, I can't. 340 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,800 Speaker 6: We've done just like we've done so many. 341 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:27,680 Speaker 2: Yeah Christmas in Mississippi, Tennessee, Michigan, just like I've got 342 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:31,040 Speaker 2: it in every state. So I'm just like, Okay, here's 343 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:32,920 Speaker 2: another one, and I'm like, this is gonna be the 344 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:36,200 Speaker 2: same thing. And I'm reading it and I'm going, this 345 00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:40,520 Speaker 2: is nothing like any Christmas. I'm like, you barely mention 346 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:44,120 Speaker 2: the word Christmas. There's no gingerbread bake off, there's no 347 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:48,040 Speaker 2: festival that town. That's going to hell. And then you 348 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:50,840 Speaker 2: got to save it. Like the only thing was like hey, 349 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:54,560 Speaker 2: coming back and seeing you know Adam or his character. 350 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,200 Speaker 2: And but I'm reading it and I'm like, I'm crying 351 00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:00,400 Speaker 2: when I read it. And so I back to my 352 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,600 Speaker 2: agent and I was like, this is nothing. I mean, 353 00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:03,840 Speaker 2: I was I don't even know how this is a 354 00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:06,879 Speaker 2: Christmas movie. This is so good. I'm like, it's so good, 355 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:10,720 Speaker 2: and I'm like I'm literally reading the script crying and 356 00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:14,320 Speaker 2: I was like a blown Oh I was blown away. 357 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,400 Speaker 2: And so I was like, I'm doing this movie. Oh, 358 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:19,080 Speaker 2: I have to do this movie. Yeah, because it was 359 00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:21,800 Speaker 2: so different. It's not and that's everyone's like, well, I 360 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,439 Speaker 2: don't understand. It's on Lifetime ago. Yeah, but this is 361 00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:26,639 Speaker 2: nothing like any of the other ones. 362 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,520 Speaker 5: No, it's so different. I thank you so much for 363 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:32,040 Speaker 5: saying all of that. I the interesting. You know. I've 364 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:34,640 Speaker 5: done a lot of these Christmas movies too, and they're 365 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:38,440 Speaker 5: so sweet and fun, but I also like in it's 366 00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:42,800 Speaker 5: the same for me, real and real true holiday times, 367 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:48,000 Speaker 5: for real, true family dynamics. It's always stressful and heightened. 368 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:51,280 Speaker 5: There's drama that comes out, and we never explore that 369 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:54,240 Speaker 5: stuff in the Christmas movies. It's always just about the 370 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:57,840 Speaker 5: cozy feelings, and those cozy feelings happen, but it's all 371 00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:03,080 Speaker 5: mixed up with real family stuff and identity stuff and 372 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:04,399 Speaker 5: relationship stuff. 373 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:06,600 Speaker 2: But I'm yelling at Bruce's Tom and my dad, Bruce 374 00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:09,399 Speaker 2: Thomas's character, I'm like, oh, this is like meat, you know, 375 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:11,720 Speaker 2: like something to like grab onto, Like this is so cool. 376 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:13,080 Speaker 2: I get to like yell at my dad like you 377 00:18:13,119 --> 00:18:15,199 Speaker 2: weren't there. I'm like, that's everything I wanted to like 378 00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:16,960 Speaker 2: say in one of those movies. You know. But yeah, 379 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,720 Speaker 2: it's like you gave that, You gave it bones. 380 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,880 Speaker 5: Ah, thank you for saying that, and thank you for 381 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:26,680 Speaker 5: just owning it so amazingly well and diving so fully in. 382 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,160 Speaker 6: Like you you you. 383 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:32,160 Speaker 5: Brought such power to all of those scenes. That scene 384 00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:34,639 Speaker 5: with you and Bruce is one of my favorites. In 385 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:37,760 Speaker 5: the whole movie when you finally have that face off 386 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:40,800 Speaker 5: and then he and it's like, you guys are just still, 387 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:45,399 Speaker 5: You're not. There's no moving around, there's no hoopla Christmas hoopla. 388 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:50,680 Speaker 5: It's just two people really wanting to connect and finally 389 00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:53,080 Speaker 5: saying all of the things that need to be said, 390 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:56,920 Speaker 5: and like there's a beautiful like redemption and you guys 391 00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:58,159 Speaker 5: played it so well. 392 00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:01,480 Speaker 6: I got goosebumps in my back watching. 393 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,080 Speaker 2: For saying that. That was the one of the scenes 394 00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:07,639 Speaker 2: where uh so I was pregnant obviously in the movie, yes, 395 00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:12,320 Speaker 2: and so that was these words. It was hard because 396 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:15,679 Speaker 2: I felt sick and that scene I was so bummed 397 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:17,800 Speaker 2: because I felt I had just like gotten sick right 398 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,639 Speaker 2: before that scene, and so I was just kind of 399 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,160 Speaker 2: felt a little. I was like, no, it was like 400 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,600 Speaker 2: like the most important scene of the freaking movie. So 401 00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:26,520 Speaker 2: but I think, yeah, you were talk to Jake and 402 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:28,280 Speaker 2: I'm like, all right, well we can, we can. I 403 00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:31,040 Speaker 2: like the top half hated the bottom, like the bottom 404 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:32,480 Speaker 2: of the second take it, so I'm like, oh, we 405 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,720 Speaker 2: I was like, you know, when you're just those scenes 406 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:37,560 Speaker 2: are tough to yes, but. 407 00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:41,320 Speaker 5: No, but you totally but by the way like you'd 408 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:44,520 Speaker 5: be nauseous in a moment like that, like you were 409 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:47,240 Speaker 5: able to fully use all of that. 410 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,440 Speaker 6: It's so, it's so good. 411 00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:52,080 Speaker 2: It's so good, and he Jake or the directors is 412 00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:55,000 Speaker 2: so great. And but the last week of filming that 413 00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:58,560 Speaker 2: he's like, please don't take this the wrong way. He's like, 414 00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:01,320 Speaker 2: but uh, you're gonna have to suck in just a 415 00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:03,920 Speaker 2: little bit now. I was not pregnant that I would 416 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:08,240 Speaker 2: have obviously, I don't think you could ever gottens no 417 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:11,680 Speaker 2: because I'm double shanks and really like I will because 418 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:13,760 Speaker 2: I popped that last week of filming. But I'm like, 419 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,159 Speaker 2: this is the only time you can ever say that 420 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:17,399 Speaker 2: to an actual hook. Totally. 421 00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:17,640 Speaker 6: Yeah. 422 00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:20,040 Speaker 3: Wait, I can't wait to watch it and see if 423 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:21,080 Speaker 3: I can tell. 424 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,800 Speaker 2: You can I think I look. 425 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:26,040 Speaker 6: You're looking at you're like hunting for it. 426 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,520 Speaker 5: Of course you are, but but I feel like, y'all 427 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:29,680 Speaker 5: hit it really really well. 428 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:33,520 Speaker 2: Thank you, Sarah. You you have like, okay, so you 429 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,840 Speaker 2: have a really big career before this epic Christmas movie. 430 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:42,040 Speaker 2: And we are all excited for December ninth on Lifetime 431 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:46,400 Speaker 2: to watch Jana star in this cowboy Christmas Room. Amazing. 432 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:51,240 Speaker 2: That's right, So you have this really wild, really wild 433 00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:55,760 Speaker 2: and wide resume of show business that started. 434 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,520 Speaker 3: Are you a Jersey kid or Rhode. 435 00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:58,480 Speaker 6: Island now in New York? 436 00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:01,520 Speaker 5: I grew up on Long Island, Okay, long area, Yeah, 437 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:05,840 Speaker 5: an island comes to Jerseys So you're in the right place. 438 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:07,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, but we all know East Coast. 439 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:08,600 Speaker 3: That does matter. 440 00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:11,320 Speaker 2: We can just be tossing around islands and putting people 441 00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:17,960 Speaker 2: in places has left the zoom. Yeah, so not great geography. 442 00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:21,800 Speaker 2: Super love you. So then you started in theater first, correct, 443 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:23,840 Speaker 2: and that took off like a wild ride for you. 444 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:27,560 Speaker 2: That was crazy and amazing. And then agents came knocking 445 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:31,920 Speaker 2: because you're incredible. Okay, so I'll just stay here forever. 446 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,919 Speaker 3: I need your I need your brush over here. 447 00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:38,160 Speaker 2: I'm a little shiny, so will you Okay, So tell 448 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:41,440 Speaker 2: me a little bit about how you make this, how 449 00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:44,080 Speaker 2: you go from because you're not writing a lot of things, 450 00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:46,359 Speaker 2: which has got to be pretty cool. And I feel like, 451 00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:49,359 Speaker 2: as I'm not an actress by any means obviously, but 452 00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:52,960 Speaker 2: I feel like for people like Jana that are actually, 453 00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:55,440 Speaker 2: you know, like acting these movies out, it's gotta they've 454 00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:57,840 Speaker 2: got to be able to feel that in those scripts. 455 00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:00,560 Speaker 2: That someone that has played the other side of that 456 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,760 Speaker 2: is really looking out for them or identifying in certain areas. 457 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:07,000 Speaker 2: So tell me how you go, Well, just tell me everything, 458 00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:10,480 Speaker 2: but tell me how you go from I am theater, 459 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:13,240 Speaker 2: I'm acting, I'm doing Gray's Anatomy, and these are big, 460 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:16,040 Speaker 2: big things in projects you're doing, and now you're writing 461 00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:19,000 Speaker 2: a lot. Does that feel more comfortable? Does it feel 462 00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:21,800 Speaker 2: like it's on brand or just like, of course very organic. 463 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:25,600 Speaker 6: So thank you for that question. 464 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:30,160 Speaker 5: That's it's so fun because it's just firing up different 465 00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:33,560 Speaker 5: parts of my brain and different parts of my creative expression. 466 00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:37,040 Speaker 5: And I got a little taste of the creative process 467 00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:39,800 Speaker 5: when I produced. I was an executive producer on a 468 00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:42,680 Speaker 5: movie I did Like in twenty eighteen, and I got 469 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:47,439 Speaker 5: obsessed with all of the how the sausage is made 470 00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:50,520 Speaker 5: and all the creative pieces of it. I was tracking 471 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:53,520 Speaker 5: every character's emotional journey so that I could be like, 472 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:57,200 Speaker 5: answer a question or you know, help anybody in the 473 00:22:57,280 --> 00:23:00,000 Speaker 5: journey I was helping. I rewrote some of the scenes 474 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:03,040 Speaker 5: for that movie because I was like, I'm saying it 475 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:06,080 Speaker 5: out loud and the words don't make sense in a 476 00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:11,080 Speaker 5: kind way. I just mean I just mean, like in 477 00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:13,639 Speaker 5: the sometimes when you're a writer and you're not an actor, 478 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,800 Speaker 5: you haven't put it to the test. You haven't said 479 00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:19,960 Speaker 5: the thing out loud, you haven't tracked this beat to 480 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:22,439 Speaker 5: this beat to this beat to know whether it's making 481 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:25,119 Speaker 5: sense in your brain right. But I've been doing that 482 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,159 Speaker 5: my whole life. I've been acting my whole life, And 483 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:30,280 Speaker 5: so when and all during Gray's Anatomy, I was I 484 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:33,960 Speaker 5: had a really beautiful collaborative relationship with the writers where 485 00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:37,800 Speaker 5: it was like they were very open to suggestion, to pitches, 486 00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:41,320 Speaker 5: if anything didn't feel exactly authentic to who you were 487 00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:43,439 Speaker 5: in that moment as a character, whatever, you go and 488 00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:45,000 Speaker 5: you hash it out and you talk about it. 489 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:47,440 Speaker 6: So I had a lot of practice. 490 00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:50,399 Speaker 5: Of like, I know where you're going in this scene. 491 00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,080 Speaker 5: I think we can get there if I say it 492 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:55,760 Speaker 5: like this, or I think there's one little piece that's 493 00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:59,600 Speaker 5: missing between point A and points B for me to 494 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:03,439 Speaker 5: make that whole emotional arc and journey. So I've always 495 00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:07,080 Speaker 5: been in my career thinking through it and have read it, 496 00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,960 Speaker 5: like you, Jenna, a billion scripts, and you know which 497 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,639 Speaker 5: ones are great, you know which roles you want to play, 498 00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:15,919 Speaker 5: and you know which ones are like just surfacey cookie cutter, 499 00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:19,680 Speaker 5: you know you can tell. And so for me, whenever 500 00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:24,600 Speaker 5: I'm deciding to do a project, it's always about the 501 00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:27,080 Speaker 5: meat of it, like where does this character get to 502 00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:27,520 Speaker 5: have an arc? 503 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:29,680 Speaker 6: Does this character get to have a journey? So it 504 00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:30,680 Speaker 6: wound up. 505 00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:33,639 Speaker 5: So my first one that I wrote, I had just 506 00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:36,680 Speaker 5: come back from shooting the movie with Ryan McPartland Who's 507 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:39,880 Speaker 5: the Best, The Best, Best, Best Best, with Ryan and 508 00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:42,919 Speaker 5: Brian and Stephen Margaret. We had just done Twinkle All 509 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:45,119 Speaker 5: the Way and we were all on set. We had 510 00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:48,240 Speaker 5: the best time, and we were all just like geeking 511 00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:52,560 Speaker 5: out over creativity, and they really Ryan really inspired me 512 00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:54,919 Speaker 5: to start thinking about my own stories. 513 00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:56,440 Speaker 6: So I went. 514 00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,760 Speaker 5: Home and came up with like a pitch and presented 515 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,439 Speaker 5: the pitch to set, Stephan Margaret and they were like, 516 00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:02,920 Speaker 5: and I was like, we should probably hire a writer, 517 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:05,159 Speaker 5: and they're like, or you should buy final draft and 518 00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:09,119 Speaker 5: write it yourself, because you've already clearly you've just told 519 00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,320 Speaker 5: us the entire world and we see it as if 520 00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:13,440 Speaker 5: we're living in it right now, Like there's no other 521 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:16,560 Speaker 5: you should write it. Just go got buy final draft 522 00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:18,720 Speaker 5: and write it. And I needed that kick in the 523 00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:21,280 Speaker 5: pants from those women, because I would not have done 524 00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:22,360 Speaker 5: it if they hadn't. 525 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:22,520 Speaker 6: Told me to. 526 00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:25,560 Speaker 5: And I wrote it and then we wound up selling 527 00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:28,520 Speaker 5: it to Lifetime, so we made that last year, and 528 00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:30,800 Speaker 5: then I was just like and then I went and 529 00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,560 Speaker 5: shot a Western last fall, and I fell in love 530 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:34,720 Speaker 5: with Jesse Bell. 531 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,800 Speaker 6: And his whole family. Sanna, yes they were. 532 00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:40,919 Speaker 5: They were my wranglers on my western. And I had 533 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,760 Speaker 5: so many conversations like Abby is based on Abby? 534 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:45,919 Speaker 6: Yeah yeah? 535 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:50,000 Speaker 5: And she so his daughter horse wrangler's daughter was the 536 00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:51,280 Speaker 5: girl who plays Abby. 537 00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:52,639 Speaker 6: Was her like stunt rider? 538 00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:53,320 Speaker 2: Oh yeah? 539 00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:54,200 Speaker 6: She was on set? 540 00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:57,160 Speaker 5: And I and I'd had all these conversations with Jesse 541 00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:00,520 Speaker 5: and his son partner, and some of the dinner table 542 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:03,520 Speaker 5: conversations came straight out of conversations I had with partner 543 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:07,880 Speaker 5: about about like training horses. So I was like, Okay, 544 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:11,280 Speaker 5: how about let's uh, let's jump into this world a 545 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:14,439 Speaker 5: little bit because I'm obsessed with this world. Let's sprinkle 546 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:18,040 Speaker 5: a little Christmas in. Let's like put some roots down 547 00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:20,879 Speaker 5: in let me write a character I would want to 548 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:23,879 Speaker 5: take a journey on as an actor, and let me 549 00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:26,520 Speaker 5: make sure as I'm writing it that every moment makes 550 00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:28,399 Speaker 5: sense to the next, to the next, to the next. 551 00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:32,640 Speaker 5: And that's kind of so it ended up being sorry, 552 00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:34,080 Speaker 5: it is a very long winded answer. 553 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:35,400 Speaker 2: No, I do. I want it all. 554 00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:36,440 Speaker 3: I want all of it. 555 00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:36,919 Speaker 2: I'm in it. 556 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:40,399 Speaker 6: The story. Yeah, you actually. 557 00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:44,720 Speaker 2: She knows the stories. We don't know all the stories, 558 00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:47,400 Speaker 2: partner Navvy and all the things. You better tell us everything. 559 00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:51,480 Speaker 6: That family is magic, just magic. 560 00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:56,480 Speaker 5: Yeah. So, and I was so thrilled that once once 561 00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:58,520 Speaker 5: I like reached out to Autumn and she was like, well, 562 00:26:58,520 --> 00:26:59,960 Speaker 5: I think we might shoot in Arizona. 563 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:03,400 Speaker 6: Uh. And I was like, oh my gosh, Jesse Bell. 564 00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:05,480 Speaker 5: You have to you have to reach out to Jesse Bell, 565 00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:07,560 Speaker 5: like that's who these characters are based on. 566 00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:11,040 Speaker 2: Okay, I didn't know that. That's really cool. Yeah. I 567 00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:14,000 Speaker 2: do think it's incredible though, that you're giving the human 568 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:17,040 Speaker 2: experience mixed in with this like even and I haven't 569 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,680 Speaker 2: seen the movie, but just the honesty of like it 570 00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:24,160 Speaker 2: isn't always Christmas and wonderful and because it's not quite honestly, 571 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:29,240 Speaker 2: Sarah Drew No, especially, it's like, yeah, it's like layered 572 00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:33,240 Speaker 2: and it's human and there's relationships and and sometimes I 573 00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:36,040 Speaker 2: love a good Christmas, like give it to me, you know, 574 00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:39,760 Speaker 2: like a beautiful let's decorate cookies, but also I need 575 00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:43,280 Speaker 2: some real raw honesty because that's not my life. She 576 00:27:43,359 --> 00:27:48,200 Speaker 2: also wrote a very uh it's the first Christmas movie 577 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:49,680 Speaker 2: that has a sex scene. 578 00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:50,880 Speaker 6: Oh yeah, well. 579 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:52,320 Speaker 5: Look at you just said give it to me, And 580 00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:54,560 Speaker 5: I was like, you mean, Adamson, I'll give you. 581 00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:58,040 Speaker 2: But I was like, I'm also but I read out 582 00:27:58,480 --> 00:27:59,800 Speaker 2: this is gonna be interesting. I'm like, how are we 583 00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:03,479 Speaker 2: gonna to do this with the baby belly? And so 584 00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:09,359 Speaker 2: we're on this spoiler alert or spoiler alert. He lays 585 00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:13,280 Speaker 2: me down on some hay and then I'm like and 586 00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:17,760 Speaker 2: then we you know, and then you what you know? 587 00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:21,520 Speaker 2: And then uh, you know. Obviously it's still a lifetime 588 00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:24,880 Speaker 2: and still family. Yeah, but it was pushing limits there too. 589 00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:28,760 Speaker 2: But when we when they cut and then the next 590 00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:30,600 Speaker 2: morning out take, I was. 591 00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:32,240 Speaker 6: Like, we made a baby. 592 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:40,480 Speaker 5: Right that scene, I mean, it's it all came out 593 00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:43,680 Speaker 5: so beautifully, but especially the scene in the kitchen I 594 00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:47,680 Speaker 5: had written into the stage directions. He pulls her up 595 00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:54,920 Speaker 5: onto the counter, he shoves things off the table. No, 596 00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:56,480 Speaker 5: I put it all in there. So I was like, 597 00:28:56,640 --> 00:29:00,200 Speaker 5: don't take the steam and the sex away from me, 598 00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:01,520 Speaker 5: I wrote it on purpose. 599 00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:06,840 Speaker 2: Well, this is not like a Christmas. I'm like, and 600 00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:11,720 Speaker 2: al I's like, how's the script? Like that's great a Christmas. 601 00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:14,080 Speaker 2: A little add and ho ho ho that never hurt anybody. 602 00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:17,960 Speaker 2: We all need a little and now we're talking real life. 603 00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:20,400 Speaker 2: But yeah, I mean, and I was I was like, well, 604 00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:22,880 Speaker 2: that's why I kept saying, this is nothing like anything. 605 00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:25,520 Speaker 2: And I was actually surprised at Lifetime but they didn't 606 00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:30,280 Speaker 2: cut anything. I was so happy that they really left 607 00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:31,040 Speaker 2: it all in there. 608 00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:35,880 Speaker 5: I like, I I Tiama, Jeanie is amazing and she 609 00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:37,640 Speaker 5: was just like, give it all to me. 610 00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:38,800 Speaker 6: I want all of it. 611 00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:41,760 Speaker 5: Yes, And I just I was so thrilled that she 612 00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:43,160 Speaker 5: said yes to all of it. 613 00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:46,960 Speaker 6: I would not have been at that scene just got cut. 614 00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:50,160 Speaker 2: Well that that is where I was again. I love 615 00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:52,440 Speaker 2: Lifetime so much and I'm so thankful for them and 616 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:54,760 Speaker 2: they're fantastic and what they've done and helped me with. 617 00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:57,800 Speaker 2: But when I also knew that they picked it up, 618 00:29:57,800 --> 00:29:59,520 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I hope they don't cut anything, 619 00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:03,040 Speaker 2: because so special, like all of it, you know, every 620 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,360 Speaker 2: piece that needs to be in there that made that 621 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:08,400 Speaker 2: script why I want to do it because you know 622 00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:12,959 Speaker 2: people that don't know they obviously when they acquire a movie, 623 00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:15,720 Speaker 2: then they go in and they put they give the 624 00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:17,240 Speaker 2: director and editors. 625 00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:20,240 Speaker 3: And their notes, right, no notes, that's awesome. 626 00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:20,520 Speaker 5: Yeah. 627 00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:36,000 Speaker 1: So yeah, they were just like, yes, can I ask 628 00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:37,480 Speaker 1: you about Grays really fast? 629 00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:37,960 Speaker 3: Sure? 630 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:41,120 Speaker 2: Okay? So what was the what was that? So we 631 00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:43,400 Speaker 2: do sad part of the day, happy part of the day, 632 00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:45,600 Speaker 2: but what's it to pit in a peak? A peak? Okay? 633 00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:48,520 Speaker 2: So what was the pee pit of Grays? And what 634 00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:49,040 Speaker 2: was the peak? 635 00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,680 Speaker 5: You know, it's such a great question. And my pit 636 00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:54,800 Speaker 5: and peak are this are one and the same. And 637 00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:57,280 Speaker 5: it was and it's actually been the thing that has 638 00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:01,880 Speaker 5: Like someone asked me recently, what's the engine that drives 639 00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:05,880 Speaker 5: your life? And for me, it's about holding pain and 640 00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:11,840 Speaker 5: hope together at the same time, intertwined and all. And 641 00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:15,160 Speaker 5: my engine is looking for the beauty and the joy 642 00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:19,400 Speaker 5: in the pain. So for me, when I was written 643 00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:21,200 Speaker 5: off the show, it came as a total shock and 644 00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:26,360 Speaker 5: it was very, very devastating, Like I was blindsided by it. 645 00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:27,720 Speaker 6: It didn't make any sense to me. 646 00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:31,160 Speaker 2: And as I watch a viewer, I agree, and honestly 647 00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:33,720 Speaker 2: that's when I stopped watching because I it did not 648 00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:37,640 Speaker 2: make sense at all, like literally, and I'm like, well, no, 649 00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:41,000 Speaker 2: they have to be to get like what, like, what 650 00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:43,160 Speaker 2: are you doing? I did not understand that at all. 651 00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:46,480 Speaker 2: So sorry. That was the viewer anger too. 652 00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:50,400 Speaker 5: And I think you are echoing what everybody was echoing. 653 00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:52,600 Speaker 6: I mean, like nobody understood it. 654 00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:55,920 Speaker 5: It was so confusing, which is why I say that 655 00:31:56,000 --> 00:32:00,360 Speaker 5: it was so painful, but like piercingly joyful because because 656 00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:02,880 Speaker 5: I had another couple of weeks still on the show 657 00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:06,600 Speaker 5: after knowing that I was going, and the outpouring of 658 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:10,280 Speaker 5: love from the fans. The fans, yes, I mean they 659 00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:14,440 Speaker 5: got a plane to fly over the studio with a 660 00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:18,040 Speaker 5: banner saying we love you, Sarah Drew and Jessica Capshaw 661 00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:22,960 Speaker 5: like but you know, so the fan outpouring of love 662 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:26,480 Speaker 5: was bananas. But even more for my heart, it was 663 00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:30,720 Speaker 5: my crew and my cast. They put together these boxes 664 00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:33,680 Speaker 5: for us on our last day. Everybody had written a 665 00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:36,400 Speaker 5: letter to us, and I was getting and I was 666 00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:38,280 Speaker 5: having crew members come up to me to be like, 667 00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:41,000 Speaker 5: there was this one moment five years ago when we 668 00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:43,360 Speaker 5: had this conversation. It meant so much to me and 669 00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:45,800 Speaker 5: I want to say thank you. You know, before you 670 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:48,280 Speaker 5: go right. And if I had stayed on the show 671 00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:51,800 Speaker 5: forever and I'd left when everybody else did, I would 672 00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:58,080 Speaker 5: not have experienced the visceral love bomb that was the experience. So, 673 00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:02,080 Speaker 5: I mean, I remember even when and Betsy called me 674 00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:03,800 Speaker 5: just to tell me they love me and you know, 675 00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:04,920 Speaker 5: wish me the best or whatever. 676 00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:07,120 Speaker 2: But aren't they the ones that also wrote you. 677 00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:09,320 Speaker 5: No, it was a different it was a different showrunner 678 00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:13,040 Speaker 5: at that point in that choice. Yeah, okay, but when 679 00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:14,719 Speaker 5: they called me just to say we love you and 680 00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:16,800 Speaker 5: you know, best of luck and everything, and it was 681 00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:18,600 Speaker 5: still very fresh and very wrong. 682 00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:20,320 Speaker 6: It was like the day after whatever. 683 00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:24,160 Speaker 5: I was so overcome with how loved I was on 684 00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:27,080 Speaker 5: that set that all I could do was weep. I 685 00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:30,120 Speaker 5: was literally just weeping on the phone with joy, like 686 00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:33,440 Speaker 5: thanking them for the opportunity they'd given me to be 687 00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:35,520 Speaker 5: a part of this family and be a part of 688 00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:37,920 Speaker 5: this legacy, Like that's the end. That's truly the only 689 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:38,800 Speaker 5: thing I was feeling. 690 00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:40,200 Speaker 6: I was overcome. 691 00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:43,360 Speaker 5: So you talk about like highs and lows, it was 692 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:45,320 Speaker 5: it felt so sad. 693 00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:46,960 Speaker 6: I was hurt so much. 694 00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:50,360 Speaker 5: I've never been fired or written off of anything, or 695 00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:53,720 Speaker 5: I'm such a hard worker. I know my value, I 696 00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:55,640 Speaker 5: know I'm good at what I do, so. 697 00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:57,480 Speaker 6: It hurts so bad. 698 00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:01,560 Speaker 5: And then it also I was so intensely loved in 699 00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:03,560 Speaker 5: it that I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. 700 00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:06,280 Speaker 5: I'm so glad I had it together. And then and 701 00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:11,160 Speaker 5: then that reality of holding those two things pain and 702 00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:14,480 Speaker 5: joy is just that's what life is. We are just 703 00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:18,080 Speaker 5: in that all the time. That is the journey and 704 00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:22,120 Speaker 5: the drive and the engine that I am just on 705 00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:24,840 Speaker 5: all the time. Is Okay, this is painful. I'm feeling it, 706 00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:27,400 Speaker 5: I'm looking at it, I'm experiencing it. Where do I 707 00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:30,799 Speaker 5: find the glory in it? Like I'm a huntress for 708 00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:33,840 Speaker 5: the glory right now? I hear the beauty and for 709 00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:36,200 Speaker 5: the joy, and I love that piece. 710 00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:39,319 Speaker 2: I think when I'm listening to that, I go to 711 00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:42,839 Speaker 2: the place where, yes I could. I love the end 712 00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:45,840 Speaker 2: and all that. I also want to know the why 713 00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:49,839 Speaker 2: in it too, And so though I appreciate the end, 714 00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:52,719 Speaker 2: I would go, but why, Like I just want to 715 00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:55,960 Speaker 2: know why you chose to do that, Like did you 716 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,359 Speaker 2: have that kind of conversation afterwards or did you just 717 00:34:58,520 --> 00:34:59,200 Speaker 2: let it kind of go? 718 00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:01,960 Speaker 5: I never really got a real why, and I kind 719 00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:04,120 Speaker 5: of had to more in that and let it go. 720 00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:06,000 Speaker 5: I mean, I got a why. 721 00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:08,239 Speaker 6: But I I'm not. I don't. 722 00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:10,920 Speaker 5: It was just like, we don't really we put you 723 00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:12,520 Speaker 5: through so much that we don't know what else to 724 00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:14,399 Speaker 5: write for you. And I'm like, but you've been able 725 00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:16,200 Speaker 5: to do that for everybody else, so I don't. 726 00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:19,759 Speaker 2: And You're like, and I'll write it myself. Actually i'll 727 00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:23,439 Speaker 2: write it better. Yeah, I'll show you. 728 00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:26,960 Speaker 5: But but my why, my the why actually that I've 729 00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:30,440 Speaker 5: been answering over the last five years is the why 730 00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:33,840 Speaker 5: is so that I could go and expand in the 731 00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:37,239 Speaker 5: ways I've been expanding as a creator, as a producer, 732 00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:39,800 Speaker 5: as a writer. I'm now I'm about to go direct 733 00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:43,680 Speaker 5: to radio play and like all of these things that 734 00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:46,240 Speaker 5: I'm entering into, it was like it was time. 735 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:48,839 Speaker 6: I didn't know that it was time. 736 00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:51,840 Speaker 5: But that's where my my faith comes in to play 737 00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:54,480 Speaker 5: in that, because I wouldn't have left on my own volition. 738 00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:58,760 Speaker 5: The money's too good, it's too stable of a job, family, 739 00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:01,160 Speaker 5: you know, Like, I wouldn't have gone. 740 00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:03,160 Speaker 6: And I loved it there. 741 00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:05,600 Speaker 5: I mean, that's the other thing. Was a beautiful time 742 00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:09,279 Speaker 5: and experience, so I wouldn't have gone. But if I 743 00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:13,120 Speaker 5: hadn't gone, I wouldn't be writing, I wouldn't be producing, 744 00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:16,160 Speaker 5: I wouldn't be activating my brain and my heart on 745 00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:19,960 Speaker 5: all these other layers and levels. That is like fed 746 00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:22,719 Speaker 5: my soul and brought me so much joy, And that, 747 00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:23,919 Speaker 5: to me is the why. 748 00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:26,160 Speaker 6: That's the why. The why is that God. 749 00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:28,120 Speaker 5: Was like, it's time for you to go over here, 750 00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:30,319 Speaker 5: and I know it's gonna be painful, but you're gonna 751 00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:31,080 Speaker 5: get it later. 752 00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:32,839 Speaker 2: And you can't do it for yourself, so I'm gonna 753 00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:33,319 Speaker 2: do it right. 754 00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:33,600 Speaker 6: Yeah. 755 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:36,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, And you were in a comfortable place. 756 00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:38,759 Speaker 4: You just sit in that comfort sometimes and sometimes it 757 00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:41,360 Speaker 4: takes God to take us out of that to say, okay, 758 00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:42,120 Speaker 4: this is what I need. 759 00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:44,000 Speaker 3: I mean, it was what nine years of your life. 760 00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:45,399 Speaker 6: I was on the show for nine years. 761 00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:48,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that is in that industry specifically. 762 00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:51,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's like it's crazy, that's dog years. 763 00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:54,040 Speaker 5: I got to have both my babies on that show 764 00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:58,360 Speaker 5: where they took such good care of me, and you know, 765 00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:01,680 Speaker 5: it's like a matriarchy were there, right, So like I 766 00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:06,320 Speaker 5: kept working. I never you know, missed a paycheck. I 767 00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:09,759 Speaker 5: got to and they worked it. They did that like 768 00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:12,080 Speaker 5: everybody says, if you want to have a baby, go 769 00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:12,759 Speaker 5: get on the show. 770 00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:16,960 Speaker 2: On the show's that's right because it was a scandal. 771 00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:20,799 Speaker 7: Carry Yeah, she was also compliment right now. Yeah, it's 772 00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:34,680 Speaker 7: just such a compliment. I feel like, how. 773 00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:35,759 Speaker 2: Long have you been married for? 774 00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:37,640 Speaker 6: Twenty one years? 775 00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:38,160 Speaker 5: Oh? Wow? 776 00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:41,680 Speaker 2: Okay, yes, that's my that's yeah. That's also because wind down, 777 00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:43,719 Speaker 2: we always talk a lot about relationships, So what has 778 00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:46,719 Speaker 2: been what's been the peach of that? Like within the 779 00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:49,440 Speaker 2: hardest piece and then you know how obviously you know 780 00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:51,799 Speaker 2: your faith I'm sure plays a big piece in that too, 781 00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:54,120 Speaker 2: but yeah. 782 00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:56,800 Speaker 5: So probably we had a really dark season seven years 783 00:37:56,840 --> 00:37:59,000 Speaker 5: into our relationship, about five years into. 784 00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:03,359 Speaker 2: A ranch that Evan was terrible for us here, as 785 00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:05,760 Speaker 2: Janna likes to say, well. 786 00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:07,759 Speaker 6: I think for us it was. 787 00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:12,600 Speaker 5: We had always been long distance all through dating and 788 00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:14,840 Speaker 5: even in the first like five years of our marriage, 789 00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:17,400 Speaker 5: like crazy, like we we would always come together, but 790 00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:19,719 Speaker 5: we would be he was working here, and then I 791 00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:22,040 Speaker 5: was working there, and then we would come together part 792 00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:23,759 Speaker 5: of every week and then go our separate ways. 793 00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:23,960 Speaker 6: Again. 794 00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:26,040 Speaker 5: It was just we never were living and working in 795 00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:28,960 Speaker 5: the same space and hadn't yet until we moved to 796 00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:32,280 Speaker 5: la and planted down in la and then we were like, oh, 797 00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:36,160 Speaker 5: there's some shit we got to work out because you're 798 00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:39,439 Speaker 5: able to like get the space and ignore it and 799 00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:41,600 Speaker 5: then and then once you're face to face with it, 800 00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:44,520 Speaker 5: you're like, there's a lot of stuff. And for us, 801 00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:48,800 Speaker 5: it was all about communication. It was learning the script 802 00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:51,160 Speaker 5: of like, when you did this one thing, it made 803 00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:53,680 Speaker 5: me feel this way. What I'm hearing from you is 804 00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:55,520 Speaker 5: that when I did this one thing, it made. 805 00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:58,480 Speaker 6: You feel that way. Is that correct? Yes, that is correct. 806 00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:01,720 Speaker 6: That is how you validating my feelings in this moment. 807 00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:05,399 Speaker 5: Okay, I'm so sorry for making you feel that way 808 00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:06,160 Speaker 5: so much. 809 00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:08,279 Speaker 6: I appreciate the apology. Can I now explain to you 810 00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:09,359 Speaker 6: what I meant when I said that thing? 811 00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:10,880 Speaker 5: It? 812 00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:14,440 Speaker 2: Can I explain to you why I want to lose 813 00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:14,839 Speaker 2: my mind? 814 00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:17,279 Speaker 3: Because yeah, yes. 815 00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:20,360 Speaker 5: And the funny thing is it's the weirdest little script 816 00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:25,200 Speaker 5: and it's the thing that completely made our marriage make sense. 817 00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:28,760 Speaker 5: We were just love our love language. We were missing 818 00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:31,680 Speaker 5: each other entirely. I did not could not receive it 819 00:39:31,719 --> 00:39:33,440 Speaker 5: from him, even though he was giving it. He was 820 00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:36,400 Speaker 5: piling it onto me, but in a language I didn't understand. 821 00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:38,920 Speaker 5: And then he wouldn't give the thing that I did 822 00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:42,719 Speaker 5: understand to me, and so I just felt unloved and 823 00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:45,000 Speaker 5: he felt unheard and he felt like I was accusing 824 00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:47,279 Speaker 5: him all the time. And we just had to learn 825 00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:50,680 Speaker 5: the script to be like, oh, when you did that. 826 00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:52,640 Speaker 6: Thing, you were actually trying to enter into my world, 827 00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:55,680 Speaker 6: tell me what to do? Interesting, you know? 828 00:39:56,040 --> 00:40:00,719 Speaker 5: And so and I also believe that was like it 829 00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:03,120 Speaker 5: was like a god thing. I also, I mean, another 830 00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:06,560 Speaker 5: really big thing in my marriage was that I had 831 00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:09,200 Speaker 5: like a liar living inside of me telling me I 832 00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:12,200 Speaker 5: wish all the time. I had a lot of shame 833 00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:17,560 Speaker 5: and a lot of like you're bad, You're just not good, 834 00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:20,440 Speaker 5: And I had the script in my head that was 835 00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:24,120 Speaker 5: like my husband, I was very charming when we dated. 836 00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:26,960 Speaker 5: He didn't know what he was getting himself into. And 837 00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,640 Speaker 5: now that he really knows me and he's seen all 838 00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:32,200 Speaker 5: my ship, he's too good of a man. 839 00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:34,200 Speaker 6: To leave me. But it's like he's living with an 840 00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:34,919 Speaker 6: invalid wife. 841 00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:38,520 Speaker 2: Well, that's not fair to the girl that I'm talking to. 842 00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:43,000 Speaker 5: No no, And I remember saying all that out loud 843 00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:46,160 Speaker 5: in therapy and our counselor being like, Peter, how do 844 00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:47,640 Speaker 5: you receive that he's like, I don't. 845 00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:50,920 Speaker 6: I just love this woman so much. I don't. I 846 00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:51,520 Speaker 6: don't know. 847 00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:52,960 Speaker 5: I don't know what to do. 848 00:40:53,719 --> 00:40:55,719 Speaker 6: And he's like, I think you got a liar living 849 00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:58,359 Speaker 6: inside you. You got to tell that liar to shut them up. 850 00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:01,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's amazing. Yeah yeah. 851 00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:03,560 Speaker 6: And I was like, well how do I do that? 852 00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:07,280 Speaker 5: And I remember I had a lot like an army 853 00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:09,360 Speaker 5: of women praying for me because I was like, I 854 00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:13,040 Speaker 5: don't know how to reprogram my brain to look at 855 00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:14,879 Speaker 5: myself the way God looks at me and the way 856 00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:17,000 Speaker 5: my husband looks at me, because all I see is 857 00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:18,520 Speaker 5: like on top of ship. 858 00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:22,279 Speaker 2: That was probably old childhood stuff or teens or whatever. Yeah, 859 00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:25,000 Speaker 2: that just or old boyfriends or whoever, and. 860 00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:30,120 Speaker 5: Twisted theology stuff sometimes, like sometimes it's interesting sometimes that's 861 00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:33,160 Speaker 5: the theology stuff creeps in in a way that affected 862 00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:35,600 Speaker 5: me but didn't affect my brother, just because of the 863 00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:39,800 Speaker 5: way that we received messaging, you know, and by nobody 864 00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:46,239 Speaker 5: and nobody's fault. Just I'm pre wired predisposed to think 865 00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:49,759 Speaker 5: everything is my fault, you know, so and I and 866 00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:53,040 Speaker 5: it's weird. It's like not something my parents modeled. I 867 00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:56,399 Speaker 5: don't know where it came from. My brother doesn't experience it, 868 00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:59,399 Speaker 5: but but I had to. I had to really work 869 00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:03,200 Speaker 5: on that. And I I remember this one morning waking 870 00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:06,120 Speaker 5: up in our home and I've been praying about this, 871 00:42:06,239 --> 00:42:09,360 Speaker 5: like liar, who's telling me that I'm not valuable and 872 00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:13,960 Speaker 5: not worthy? And my husband comes into the kitchen and 873 00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:16,600 Speaker 5: he looks at me and he goes, morning, honey, I 874 00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:22,000 Speaker 5: love you. And I felt this like fire from my 875 00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:25,759 Speaker 5: toes all the way up my whole body to the 876 00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:29,000 Speaker 5: top of my head. I felt it in every cell 877 00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:31,760 Speaker 5: of my body. And all I could think. 878 00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:33,360 Speaker 6: Was I believe you. 879 00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:40,239 Speaker 5: And it was just like I'm somebody's favorite person forever. 880 00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:45,359 Speaker 5: He chooses me daily and he does love me. He's 881 00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:47,040 Speaker 5: not just saying it. 882 00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:47,720 Speaker 6: It's real. 883 00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:50,719 Speaker 5: And that for me was a god thing. That was 884 00:42:50,760 --> 00:42:53,040 Speaker 5: just like a that was a changing of my heart 885 00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:56,160 Speaker 5: that needed to happen. So it was the communication and 886 00:42:56,200 --> 00:43:01,040 Speaker 5: it was the self worth, so again darkest, but also 887 00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:05,160 Speaker 5: they all come in pairs. To me, it was also 888 00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:09,880 Speaker 5: the most brilliant moment of entering into a new journey 889 00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:12,480 Speaker 5: and a new chapter of my marriage and my relationship. 890 00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:14,520 Speaker 5: And that was before we had kids, and now we 891 00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:16,880 Speaker 5: have these two kids, and we have this life and 892 00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:19,239 Speaker 5: I and we know how to talk to each other, 893 00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:21,040 Speaker 5: and we know how to show each other our love 894 00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:24,520 Speaker 5: and and we're I just feel like we're kind of 895 00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:27,160 Speaker 5: unshakable at this point after going through that. So that 896 00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:28,439 Speaker 5: would be my peak as well. 897 00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:31,479 Speaker 2: No, I love that, and yeah, now twenty years, dang, 898 00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:35,359 Speaker 2: girl'll keep going. I love it. That's beautiful. I do 899 00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:37,960 Speaker 2: think though, don't would you agree that? And I think 900 00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:40,480 Speaker 2: we're kind of all similar to like when you talk 901 00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:45,560 Speaker 2: about things all being your fault. I wonder sometimes I've 902 00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:47,759 Speaker 2: learned in this journey I've been on that if I 903 00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:49,839 Speaker 2: take it on, if it's my fault, then I can 904 00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:52,520 Speaker 2: go ahead and get it fixed too, because if I'm 905 00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:54,680 Speaker 2: waiting for someone else to own it, well, and we 906 00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:56,799 Speaker 2: all know how that plays out, Yeah, that could be exhausting. 907 00:43:57,200 --> 00:43:59,040 Speaker 2: So if we just take it, we'll just go ahead 908 00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:01,000 Speaker 2: and take that and we can fix it. 909 00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:01,560 Speaker 6: Yep. 910 00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:03,320 Speaker 2: But then we're just taking on a bunch of stuff 911 00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:04,640 Speaker 2: that's not even ours to happen. 912 00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:08,040 Speaker 5: It's not even ours exactly, it's not my responsibility, and 913 00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:09,040 Speaker 5: it's not even real. 914 00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:11,960 Speaker 6: It's not even real, Like that's the thing. 915 00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:15,279 Speaker 5: It's like a false reality of Okay, Well, maybe I 916 00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:17,520 Speaker 5: can get ahead of a thing. I mean, part of 917 00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:21,719 Speaker 5: it is also just the thought of hurting someone is 918 00:44:22,960 --> 00:44:23,880 Speaker 5: my worst nightmare. 919 00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:26,160 Speaker 6: I'm so. 920 00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:30,400 Speaker 5: I'm such a people pleaser. I hate conflict more than anything, 921 00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:34,560 Speaker 5: and I want people to feel seen and known and 922 00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:35,920 Speaker 5: loved when they're in my presence. 923 00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:37,080 Speaker 6: It's very important to me. 924 00:44:37,640 --> 00:44:41,640 Speaker 5: And if someone is hurt by something I've done, I 925 00:44:41,719 --> 00:44:44,520 Speaker 5: spin in my brain to try to get ahead of 926 00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:47,520 Speaker 5: it so that I can pre apologize, just in case 927 00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:50,680 Speaker 5: maybe I did something's. 928 00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:52,799 Speaker 3: Head, would you really like to come down? 929 00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:59,239 Speaker 2: I just had the same discussion as I didn't want to. 930 00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:01,520 Speaker 2: I didn't need to, like I didn't know, because we 931 00:45:01,640 --> 00:45:04,000 Speaker 2: never intend to ever. We never want people to hurt, 932 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:06,560 Speaker 2: and that was not my intention that it was. You know, 933 00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:11,160 Speaker 2: it's like the ripple effect of wanting to. I don't 934 00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:13,279 Speaker 2: wanna say people please, but just you want people to 935 00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:15,840 Speaker 2: feel loved and seen and heard and anything like I 936 00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:16,880 Speaker 2: didn't need to like that. I hope you know I 937 00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:18,560 Speaker 2: take it like that. I would never because I want 938 00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:20,480 Speaker 2: you to be happy. And so we also live in 939 00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:25,920 Speaker 2: a very like living in offense society. So for people 940 00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:28,600 Speaker 2: like us, the big feelers, the big huggers, the big Oh, 941 00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:30,520 Speaker 2: we just want to love on you and like swaddle 942 00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:33,680 Speaker 2: you and carry you around. Like it's extra tricky for 943 00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:36,080 Speaker 2: our people right now because everyone's got a chip on 944 00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:39,359 Speaker 2: their shoulder, not everyone some version of you Like that's 945 00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:41,800 Speaker 2: not like you're that's not it at all, like that 946 00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:45,560 Speaker 2: I would never intended to do that or hurt like no, right, 947 00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:47,439 Speaker 2: And so then and then you just feel terrible because 948 00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:49,439 Speaker 2: you're like, that's not who I am, and they think 949 00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:51,480 Speaker 2: that this this is who I am, and that's that. 950 00:45:51,520 --> 00:45:54,280 Speaker 5: But that's also part Like that was honestly what happened 951 00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:58,440 Speaker 5: in my marriage too. It was like I would accuse. 952 00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:00,120 Speaker 6: And he was like, but that's not who I am. 953 00:46:00,239 --> 00:46:02,840 Speaker 6: You're saying something that that's like not my identity. I 954 00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:03,359 Speaker 6: didn't intend. 955 00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:05,200 Speaker 5: Like my husband would never want to hurt a fly, 956 00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:09,000 Speaker 5: and he doesn't. He's like such a good man, he's 957 00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:12,560 Speaker 5: such a sweet good man and like never would intentionally 958 00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:15,920 Speaker 5: hurt anyone. But but he doesn't think about he's not 959 00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:19,600 Speaker 5: thinking nine steps ahead like I am. He's just living 960 00:46:19,640 --> 00:46:22,319 Speaker 5: his life in peace and being who he is. 961 00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:25,319 Speaker 3: You know, I got a way to live. 962 00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:31,440 Speaker 6: What is that you spinning ahead of the game. 963 00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:32,680 Speaker 2: And then one. 964 00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:35,319 Speaker 5: Because like the thought of being surprised with a you 965 00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:35,840 Speaker 5: hurt me? 966 00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:39,920 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, oh god, I was walking around with an 967 00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:41,480 Speaker 2: I'm sorry shirt on all of the time. 968 00:46:41,719 --> 00:46:42,319 Speaker 3: We've got it. 969 00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:45,959 Speaker 2: Well, Sarah, thank you so much for coming on. Please 970 00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:48,440 Speaker 2: let us know whenever you're in Nashville, because you are 971 00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:53,440 Speaker 2: welcome here. I was just in Nashville. I know, was 972 00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:56,239 Speaker 2: it last week because she was busy? She had a baby? 973 00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:59,000 Speaker 6: Oh of course, yes, you having. 974 00:46:58,719 --> 00:47:03,080 Speaker 2: A baby last week. I had him last week. How 975 00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:07,400 Speaker 2: is he? He's amazing. He's a little squash. He love him. Actually, 976 00:47:07,440 --> 00:47:09,279 Speaker 2: the most handsome baby I've ever seen. And I have 977 00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:11,040 Speaker 2: a son. He's a prince. 978 00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:13,719 Speaker 6: I mean, look at his parents, can you? 979 00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:19,400 Speaker 2: I mean, well, next time you're in Nashville, let us know, please, 980 00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:21,400 Speaker 2: And thank you for coming on and sharing all of it. 981 00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:24,399 Speaker 2: Thanks for writing an amazing script and we can't wait 982 00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:25,600 Speaker 2: to follow him with everything. 983 00:47:26,320 --> 00:47:27,160 Speaker 6: Thank you, guys. 984 00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:29,799 Speaker 3: So girl, Sarah's nice to meet you. 985 00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:33,160 Speaker 2: I need to know how old Sarah Drew is because 986 00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:34,720 Speaker 2: she literally looks like she's thirty. 987 00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:35,400 Speaker 3: Beautiful. 988 00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:38,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I think she's our age. She's been 989 00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:40,359 Speaker 2: married for twenty one years. Trying to do the math, 990 00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:41,520 Speaker 2: and I'm like it doesn't add up. 991 00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:42,640 Speaker 3: Add up to your face. 992 00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:45,160 Speaker 4: How does it feel to know that Kepner was in 993 00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:46,879 Speaker 4: her bathtub watching you in. 994 00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:55,120 Speaker 3: A movie twenty three? I was like, I love you. 995 00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:56,000 Speaker 7: I love it. 996 00:47:56,600 --> 00:47:58,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, I loved her on the show, so I mean, 997 00:47:58,480 --> 00:48:01,640 Speaker 2: I was like, that's just so cool. And I'm like, thanks, girl, 998 00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:04,040 Speaker 2: so cool. And now I'm like, sh she saw that. 999 00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:08,720 Speaker 2: Those some of those things you're probably going through. Good 1000 00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:11,760 Speaker 2: you pre apologize for anything, well, because that one scene 1001 00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:15,000 Speaker 2: was I was so bummed because it was the scene 1002 00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:19,000 Speaker 2: where I'm telling Bruce Thomas's character, I'm like, you were 1003 00:48:19,160 --> 00:48:21,279 Speaker 2: You've never seen me, Dad, You've never And that's the 1004 00:48:21,320 --> 00:48:23,520 Speaker 2: big emotional scene that I cried. And when I was 1005 00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:25,680 Speaker 2: reading the script, but I can't wait, and then I 1006 00:48:25,719 --> 00:48:27,719 Speaker 2: was second, I was like, oh, but I did get 1007 00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:29,160 Speaker 2: the top in the end. I just like to have 1008 00:48:29,239 --> 00:48:30,560 Speaker 2: one full pass where it's. 1009 00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:32,839 Speaker 3: Like perfectionism coming in. 1010 00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:33,359 Speaker 6: I am. 1011 00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:35,360 Speaker 3: But I love you, guys, I love you so much. 1012 00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:38,480 Speaker 3: This was fine, good job, this was good. 1013 00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:40,600 Speaker 2: Next week