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Speaker 1: Welcome to Desperately Devoted.

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Speaker 2: Think of us as your favorite neighbors as we chat

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Speaker 2: about life and relationships.

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Speaker 3: All while we revisit the iconic show Desperate Housewives together.

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Speaker 2: I'm Terry Hatcher, I'm Andrea Bowen.

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Speaker 4: And I'm Emerson Tony.

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Speaker 2: Welcome back to Desperately Devoted. And I will tell you

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Speaker 2: this one is episode fourteen. It was called Love Is.

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Speaker 5: In the Air appropriately on Valentine's Day Eve, February thirteenth.

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Speaker 4: Oh that okay?

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Speaker 2: And so yes, in this episode it is almost Valentine's

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Speaker 2: Day and I just have to stop right there with

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Speaker 2: our themes because is there a holiday that is more

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Speaker 2: provocative of complicated emotions? And I'm going to give you

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Speaker 2: the answer even though I gave you the question and

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Speaker 2: it's no, there is not.

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Speaker 5: Okay, Yeah, I agree. I think Valentine's Day is incredibly polarizing.

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Speaker 5: People love it or they hate it, or they love

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Speaker 5: to hate it. Where do we fall? Emerson? Do you

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Speaker 5: love it?

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Speaker 1: Do you hate it?

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Speaker 3: You know what? I love it. But here's what I

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Speaker 3: have to say about Valentine's Day. I'm all for love,

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Speaker 3: and I'm all for loving your friends, loving your romantic partner.

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Speaker 4: Loving yourself.

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Speaker 3: I think it's great to have a day to remind

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Speaker 3: you to do that. I also think February objectively is

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Speaker 3: the most depressing month the holidays are over. I feel

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Speaker 3: like this was a manufactured holiday to keep people from

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Speaker 3: just absolutely slipping into the oblivion of depression, and ironically

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Speaker 3: probably forces some people over the edge of depression because

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Speaker 3: it's reflected back in their face if they're not necessarily

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Speaker 3: in the relationships that they want to be in. But

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Speaker 3: my hot take on Valentine's Day is, while I love

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Speaker 3: eating chocolate and drinking wine and being sexy and being

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Speaker 3: in a bath and flowers, not so much roses, but flowers,

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Speaker 3: I think I think Valentine's Day is the worst day

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Speaker 3: to go to a restaurant. Don't go to a restaurant.

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Speaker 3: Go on the thirteenth to a restaurant, and on Valentine's Day,

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Speaker 3: make someone cook you something nice at home or order

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Speaker 3: a pizza.

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Speaker 1: Why Why is that?

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Speaker 3: Because all restaurants mark up their menus like for a

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Speaker 3: special Valentine's Day menu prefix Yeah, and it's not the

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Speaker 3: food you even want to order, and you're paying like

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Speaker 3: two hundred dollars more for it, and there's so much

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Speaker 3: pressure on, like which restaurant you pick? And I think

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Speaker 3: Valentine's Day is a great day to if you are

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Speaker 3: in a partnership or with yourself, you know, feel a

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Speaker 3: lot of pleasure and whatever that means to you.

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Speaker 2: And like be at home, that was just a full on,

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Speaker 2: like I think you know Ted talk on Valentine's Day,

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Speaker 2: Like I really, I'm not even sure there's much more to.

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Speaker 4: Say, and I'll come back at the end of the

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Speaker 4: episode to say more.

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Speaker 2: Okay, you feel I feel, as the single person who's

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Speaker 2: been single for basically decades, short of a few months

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Speaker 2: here or there, I feel like I have had to

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Speaker 2: learn to approach Valentine's Day differently over my life. Certainly

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Speaker 2: when I was younger and in relationships, I found it

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Speaker 2: actually to be quite stressful. I founded the anticipation of

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Speaker 2: it even when I was in a relationship that I

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Speaker 2: was either going to be disappointed or overjoyed. But you

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Speaker 2: know it was he going to remember, or was it

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Speaker 2: going and make me feel amazing, or was he going

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Speaker 2: to forget and make me feel horrible?

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Speaker 3: Or was he going to get shot and bleed out

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Speaker 3: at the table and fall onto the ground.

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Speaker 4: As happens in this.

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Speaker 2: Episode, that does happen in this episode. Yes, that never

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Speaker 2: happened to me in real life, thank god. But I

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Speaker 2: will tell you one thing that did happen to me.

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Speaker 2: When I was quite young. On Valentine's Day, I had

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Speaker 2: gone to Paris to visit a boyfriend that I was seeing,

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Speaker 2: who was an actor. Which is why I will just say,

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Speaker 2: don't date actors. Marry them, okay, all right, or marry

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Speaker 2: the good ones, like I'm sure there's a few good ones,

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Speaker 2: but many of them are not. So Anyways, I was

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Speaker 2: dating an actor and he was doing a TV series

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Speaker 2: in Paris, and I had gone over to visit him,

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Speaker 2: and it was Valentine's Day and he had an apartment

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Speaker 2: there and I was waiting in the apartment all Valentine's

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Speaker 2: dayed up and you know, ready to be a Valentine.

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Speaker 2: And he did not come home.

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Speaker 4: Just to be clear, this was not my dad.

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Speaker 2: Oh god, no, no, I think fine. I hadn't even

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Speaker 2: thought about your dad in regards to Valentine's Day, And

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Speaker 2: probably because we had fairly moderate memorable like, I don't

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Speaker 2: think anyone disappointed anybody, and I don't think anybody overjoyed

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Speaker 2: anybody got too divorced, but whatever, like I it was

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Speaker 2: probably fine. I don't have anything to say.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so this is not the eighties. This is the

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Speaker 3: eighties in Paris, not my dad. He doesn't come home.

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Speaker 2: So I'm there in this apartment alone in Paris, and

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Speaker 2: I don't know why. The person I thought to call

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Speaker 2: to analyze why my boyfriend was not coming home on

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Speaker 2: Valentine's Night was Richard Dean Anderson. But that's who I called,

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Speaker 2: and he was in Canada being mcgiver and we had

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Speaker 2: been friends on and off for years, and I don't

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Speaker 2: know why at this moment I felt like he was

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Speaker 2: my guy friend because I think we.

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Speaker 4: Did like we never like dated dated.

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Speaker 2: Even though that rumor's out there, Like I was never

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Speaker 2: his girlfriend, but we had moments of day, you know,

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Speaker 2: going out together a little bit anyway. So but at

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Speaker 2: this point I called him and he said, oh, he's

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Speaker 2: seeing another woman, Like that's what men do. Like if

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Speaker 2: he's not coming home, it's because he's probably sleeping with

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Speaker 2: his co star. Like he just felt like very like

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Speaker 2: I'm a star of a TV show. I know what

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Speaker 2: it's like to be a male star of a TV

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Speaker 2: show I'm not saying that he did that, but I

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Speaker 2: just think his perspective and that's probably why I called him,

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Speaker 2: you know. And so I was sort of like, wow, okay,

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Speaker 2: that's really disappointing if that's true. And I started snooping

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Speaker 2: around the apartment. Yes you did, Yes I did. And

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Speaker 2: I found a box of polaroids because that was a

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Speaker 2: thing in the day, and they were like nude and

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Speaker 2: sexy polaroids of this other woman, this French woman. And

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Speaker 2: so there was my answer.

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Speaker 4: Happy for Valentine's Day, Jesus, right, But.

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Speaker 2: You know what I did, and this is what I'm

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Speaker 2: getting to of, like where I have arct on Valentine's

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Speaker 2: Day over the last many decades. I decided to go

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Speaker 2: out and stroll around Paris. And I don't know that

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Speaker 2: I've ever was, ever had been in Paris before. So

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Speaker 2: I'm strolling around who knows what, well, how do you

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Speaker 2: call it the arn Mont or what's ur?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: There you go. Okay, can you do that again, because

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Speaker 2: I'm super sexy the oh my god, there you go

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Speaker 2: so good? Wow. Okay, So I was wandering around those

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Speaker 2: I don't know which one I was in, but I

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Speaker 2: went by a jewelry store and at the time in

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Speaker 2: the eighties, Cardier was doing this like three ring, three

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Speaker 2: different kind of gold. You would sort of like roll it.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure they still make it. Of course, at that

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Speaker 2: time in my life, I could never afford a ring

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Speaker 2: from Cardier, but they had a gold version of that

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Speaker 2: that was just like not a a designer, and I

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Speaker 2: was like, you know what, I'm going to buy this

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Speaker 2: for myself on Valentine's Day in Paris as like a

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Speaker 2: recognition that I love myself and everything is going to

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Speaker 2: be okay. And I still have that ring to this day.

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Speaker 4: And I think, I know what you're talking. I love

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Speaker 4: that ring.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a it's a it's a classic. It's I

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Speaker 2: don't have the Cardier version, but I have the Parish

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Speaker 2: Survive being cheated on versions.

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Speaker 4: That's what I have, and so I know what that's priceless.

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Speaker 2: It really is. And so that brings me to just

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Speaker 2: being like I now in today's day, I have perceived

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Speaker 2: Valentine's Day as Gallentine's Day. I've done a lot of

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Speaker 2: years where I've taken another single girlfriend and we've gone

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Speaker 2: and done something fun and seen a comedy show or

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Speaker 2: gone to dinner, which you're apparently telling me, don't.

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Speaker 4: Do you like to do it?

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Speaker 2: And I also really take it as a day to

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Speaker 2: recognize love in my life, and so I will text

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Speaker 2: all of my girlfriends, whether they're married or not, and

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Speaker 2: just say I love you so much, I'm so appreciative.

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Speaker 2: So for me, it's become sort of a day of

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Speaker 2: expressing love to those I love and love to myself.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I hear you.

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Speaker 5: I sort of have this ambition of being like the

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Speaker 5: cool girl who thinks Valentine's Day is just commercialized, which

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Speaker 5: it is, and you know, I'm like, oh, I don't

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Speaker 5: give a shit about Valentine's Day. But I'm not that

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Speaker 5: cool girl. I do like Valentine's Day. But I like

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Speaker 5: it for all of the reasons we're saying, right. I

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Speaker 5: like that it gives us an opportunity and an extra

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Speaker 5: reason to express our love and gratitude for those in

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Speaker 5: our lives, whomever they may be. Not necessarily romantic, but

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Speaker 5: certainly that as well. And I've had a series of

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Speaker 5: pretty good Valentine's Day I was driving here thinking about

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Speaker 5: Valentine's Day though before we you know, hopped into our

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Speaker 5: booth to record this and I had memory that I

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Speaker 5: hadn't remember. I hadn't I just kind of shot at

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Speaker 5: the top of my mind, which happens. Yeah, and I

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Speaker 5: had totally forgotten about this. But my first relationship, my

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Speaker 5: very first serious relationship of my life. We started dating

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Speaker 5: at the end of December, and so Valentine's Day was

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Speaker 5: kind of early on still, but it was our first

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Speaker 5: Valentine's Day as a couple, and he didn't do anything.

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Speaker 5: He did nothing. I mean, I think I was waiting

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Speaker 5: to see if he was going to make plans or

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Speaker 5: take me to dinner and nothing.

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Speaker 1: I don't even know if I heard from him. You guys,

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Speaker 1: I ended up being with him for three more years.

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Speaker 1: Bad but anyway, you.

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Speaker 4: Were a cool girl, too cool.

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Speaker 1: Too cool.

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Speaker 5: But I remembered that my brother Cam, who was anti

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Speaker 5: this relationship because it was a friend of his, and

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Speaker 5: he was like, don't date each other.

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Speaker 1: I don't want you to date each other.

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Speaker 5: And we did anyway, but he realized that there were

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Speaker 5: no plans made for me, so he took me bowling.

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Speaker 1: Ah.

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Speaker 2: So the first I do not have this sibling thing,

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Speaker 2: companionship companionship too. Yeah, if you ever find yourself alone

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Speaker 2: and you want to go bowling. You can always call

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Speaker 2: me and you can call me too.

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Speaker 4: Okay, thanks mom, Okay, so stain episode.

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Speaker 5: Lots of Valentine's Day plans happening, lots of uh, we've

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Speaker 5: got We've got Susan's romantic date with Mike where she

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Speaker 5: goes to talk about the whole kids thing, which I

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Speaker 5: think was really interesting, and we can chat about some

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Speaker 5: things that come up with that where Emerson mentions that

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Speaker 5: he ends up bleeding out at the table, which was crazy.

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Speaker 5: And we see we don't see that much of Gabby

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Speaker 5: and Carlos's but we.

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Speaker 2: Do have no that's true. We don't see much of spending.

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Speaker 5: It in bed but just for hire that sounds badly.

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Speaker 4: At the mattress at the mattress store.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, not in bed, in laingerie for her husband.

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Speaker 2: And she's doing that because Carlos and Gabby at this

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Speaker 2: point in this series are you know, low on funds

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Speaker 2: because he's been arrested and they still can't get access

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Speaker 2: to the bank account. And so she's now out having

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Speaker 2: to pour herself out as a like boat show, car show,

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Speaker 2: and model, and now she's at a mattress store.

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Speaker 3: And by the end of this episode, we actually have

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Speaker 3: Gabby ending up working in a makeup store, which I

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Speaker 3: love because I felt like, oh, you know, that would

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Speaker 3: be a good job for her to have, and her

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Speaker 3: kind of rival with.

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Speaker 2: Yellin our housekeeper.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and that's I love that.

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Speaker 3: And then we have talk about, you know, mangled expressions

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Speaker 3: of love Lynette's new neighbor who we meet, Missus McCluskey.

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Speaker 2: This is the episode where we meet Missus McCluskey for

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Speaker 2: the first time. Can we just we just have to

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Speaker 2: pause and talk about Katherinejusin and just how amazing she

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Speaker 2: was and is. And I know in our last episode

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Speaker 2: I told you guys about the spreading her ashes around

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Speaker 2: the world story, which is just you know, you know,

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Speaker 2: I remembered something else about that. Do you remember in

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Speaker 2: the Croatia part in the Mediterranean where the guy with

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Speaker 2: the snorkel came by in the middle of the of

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Speaker 2: the pouring of the ashes. When I got out of

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Speaker 2: the water there, the first rock I saw was in

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Speaker 2: the shape of a heart, and I picked it up

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Speaker 2: and brought it home. And I still have that because

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Speaker 2: I have not seen her kids since then. So it

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Speaker 2: kind of makes me think think, you know, speaking Valentine's Day.

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Speaker 2: I have this heart shaped rock that I pulled out

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Speaker 2: of the water after putting her ashes in the sea,

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Speaker 2: and I need, I need to reconnect with her kids

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Speaker 2: and make sure that they get that's yeah.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, but man, she is she is something.

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Speaker 5: She just jumps right out the screen immediately, and yeah,

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Speaker 5: she's such a she becomes obviously such a big fixture

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Speaker 5: of wester Elane.

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Speaker 1: But what a wonderful episode for her.

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Speaker 2: I love how I believe that she was a nurse

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Speaker 2: in Chicago at like an institutional kind of place. Like

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Speaker 2: she had some hardcore life jobs, you know, like she's

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Speaker 2: a she was just a wealth of complicated, crazy you

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Speaker 2: know things that she did in her life. And so

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna I'm gonna I've forgotten some of them now,

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Speaker 2: but I'm gonna dig back.

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Speaker 5: I think she was in a Mary Kayton Ashley Olsen

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Speaker 5: movie that I saw when I was a kid. I

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Speaker 5: kind of remember that she started acting later in.

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Speaker 2: The life, and that's because I think she was a

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Speaker 2: nurse before.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, Okay, so so I don't know, but I remember

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Speaker 5: this movie and I not well, but I remember her

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Speaker 5: being in it. And so then when she was on

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Speaker 5: desk gas. I was like, oh, she was in that

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Speaker 5: Mary Kate Nashley Olson movie.

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Speaker 3: Well, she brings she brings such I mean, just from

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Speaker 3: this first episode that she's in, she brings such a

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Speaker 3: kind of grounded, layered, nuanced performance. And you know, of course,

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Speaker 3: in this episode it ends with her getting hit in

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Speaker 3: the face with an egg that Lynette throws at her

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Speaker 3: after her kids steal things from Missus McCluskey, but turns

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Speaker 3: out their thieves of the whole neighborhood. And that's gonna

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Speaker 3: come back in the Mike and Susan storyline. And then

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Speaker 3: we have talk about hot sex on Valentine's Day, Brie

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Speaker 3: deciding she's gonna try to learn more about Rex's sexual desires,

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Speaker 3: even if that means putting his handcuffs in the dishwasher there.

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Speaker 5: The only thing in there too, just the pair of

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Speaker 5: handcuffs on the top rack.

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Speaker 3: Well, you know, Bree is like kind of a woman

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Speaker 3: who was washing a dish the second it's thurty.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess that's true.

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Speaker 5: Maybe not so water wise, but yeah, but definitely thorough

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Speaker 5: with her cleanliness.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we get that moment.

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Speaker 5: Where they're sitting on the couch and Breeze trying to

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Speaker 5: educate herself on what a dominatrix lifestyle is like. And

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Speaker 5: so we hear kind of some background of a video

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Speaker 5: I imagine a DVD.

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Speaker 3: Oh I know, Oh my god, this porn sounded so

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Speaker 3: old to me, like old school.

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Speaker 4: I was like, what it's felt like a.

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Speaker 3: Cross between like a eighties jazzer size video and BDSM porn.

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Speaker 3: But I would pay so much money to see what

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Speaker 3: they were watching, and.

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Speaker 2: That's wow, that's really good. I wonder who would have

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Speaker 2: that information that would be Would that be a props

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Speaker 2: department or.

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Speaker 5: Maybe or maybe it was done after the fact that

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Speaker 5: maybe they were just reacting to something and then it

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Speaker 5: was laid in audio wise, But it.

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Speaker 2: Brought up a pretty big theme that I think we

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Speaker 2: should talk about, which is sex. Because this was a

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Speaker 2: show on ABC at nine o'clock on Sunday nights. This

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Speaker 2: was not HBO, this was not you know, streaming, and

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Speaker 2: in that porn scene that you didn't see but you heard,

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Speaker 2: you know, it definitely sound porny, like I mean, that

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Speaker 2: felt to me like you're walking right up to the

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Speaker 2: edge of what you're allowed to do on television. And again,

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Speaker 2: I think this show was riskier than people kind of

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Speaker 2: remember that it was. But in that sense, I also

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Speaker 2: just felt like, when have you ever seen a character

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Speaker 2: ask so sort of bravely and vulnerably their partner, like

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Speaker 2: what can I do for you? Teach me about this?

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Speaker 2: And I mean it made me think like, is anybody

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Speaker 2: ready to go there and talk about their own like

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Speaker 2: sexuality or even if you're just talking about people we know.

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Speaker 2: I mean, this is a really this is an area

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Speaker 2: where I think people have a lot of shame. WHOA

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Speaker 2: I have so much shame about what they actually want

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Speaker 2: about asking for what they want, honestly, even if it's

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Speaker 2: not sexual, people feeling like it's not okay to ask

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Speaker 2: for what you want and what you need without being

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Speaker 2: filled with shame. I just think it's pervasive. And I

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Speaker 2: had a little thing happened to me with my parents

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Speaker 2: that had nothing to do with sex that I thank god.

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Speaker 2: I well, although, okay, like I have seen my mother's

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Speaker 2: naked ass in the hospital when she was like getting

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Speaker 2: out of bed and walking with the open backed a

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Speaker 2: hospital gown to the bathroom, which is something nobody needs

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Speaker 2: to see and for viewers at home, Emerson now is

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Speaker 2: simultaneously trying to cover her ears and her eyes with

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Speaker 2: just two hands.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I'm watching the conjuring Oh yeah, some of.

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Speaker 5: Those hospital gowns, like why can't we get it together?

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Speaker 5: Why do we need to have them look like that

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Speaker 5: and tie like that?

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Speaker 2: They're so humiliating.

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Speaker 5: It's so humiliating, like where is we don't honor people's dignity,

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Speaker 5: especially in a situation where they're probably already compromise. They're

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Speaker 5: in the hospital, like, we can do better. Okay, So there's.

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Speaker 2: One and then the other thing I've seen, so I

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Speaker 2: think I may don't want to hear this. I well,

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Speaker 2: you're gonna show as everyone else. So I may have

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Speaker 2: mentioned that I had installed ring cameras in my parents' home,

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Speaker 2: not as cameras to abuse their privacy or independence, but

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Speaker 2: to make sure that they're safe when I can't be there,

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Speaker 2: to make sure that the doors are locked and that

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Speaker 2: no one's fallen down. I'll periododically check in. And one

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Speaker 2: time on the periodic.

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Speaker 4: Check in, oh no, Andrew's covering her eyes.

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Speaker 2: You should? You should? You probably should. I saw my

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Speaker 2: father walk across the dining room kitchen without any clothes on, and.

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Speaker 4: Did you stop checking in after that.

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Speaker 2: I immediately switched it off. And I, you know, am

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Speaker 2: very sensitive, but I do. I'm their caregiver. I do

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Speaker 2: have to check and make sure that. I mean, I've

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Speaker 2: seen things happen that are and then I run over there,

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Speaker 2: you know, or I mean.

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Speaker 4: It's funds like you've seen a lot of things happen

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Speaker 4: that are back.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, hey, you know what, he's just walking trying to

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Speaker 5: get a snack. I naked across our kitchen to get

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Speaker 5: a snack.

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Speaker 3: I don't want someone watching my house with cameras because

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Speaker 3: I'm walking naked everywhere.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I've started walking naked in my house all

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Speaker 2: over the place too, And that's a new thing. That's

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Speaker 2: an empty nester thing.

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Speaker 1: Were you inspired by your dad?

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Speaker 2: No, it's not inspired by my dad. But I was

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Speaker 2: inspired by the fact that I finally it's taken me years,

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Speaker 2: by the way, I've been an empty nester since twenty sixteen,

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Speaker 2: but it's taken me up until like maybe a year ago,

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Speaker 2: to be like, this is my house, no one is here.

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Speaker 2: I can walk from my bedroom down to the kitchen

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Speaker 2: to get water and walk back up to my bedroom

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Speaker 2: and I don't have to put clothes on like, but

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Speaker 2: it's crazy that it's it's a lecture I have to

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Speaker 2: give myself, like it's a pep talk I have to

387
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Speaker 2: give myself. But back to the wants and the needs.

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Speaker 2: So I was up at my parents' house dropping off

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Speaker 2: some food and checking in on them, and you know,

390
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Speaker 2: I have my dad taken these art classes, and for

391
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Speaker 2: some reason, in the last few weeks, other people have

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Speaker 2: been added to my dad's time, So my dad is

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Speaker 2: no longer there alone with the teacher. There's like maybe

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Speaker 2: two or three or four other painters. And I had

395
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Speaker 2: gotten a message a couple of weeks ago that my

396
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Speaker 2: dad didn't want to go anymore, and I didn't really

397
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Speaker 2: know why. And you know, with the dementia sometimes like

398
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:28,840
Speaker 2: the story changes or he doesn't really remember. So I

399
00:19:29,359 --> 00:19:31,040
Speaker 2: talked to him about it a couple times, and he

400
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:34,720
Speaker 2: is going again now, and he claims to be okay

401
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:38,040
Speaker 2: with the other people there. But when I first talked

402
00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:41,239
Speaker 2: to him about it, he said, I said, well, so

403
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Speaker 2: you're telling me there's other people there now and you

404
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,359
Speaker 2: liked it better when you were just there alone with

405
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Speaker 2: the teacher. And he said, well yes, And I said, okay, Well,

406
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:52,399
Speaker 2: let me talk to the teacher because I'm and he said, no, no,

407
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:54,840
Speaker 2: you can't do that. She'll think I'm an asshole. So,

408
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:59,199
Speaker 2: even with dementia, his level of shame about asking for

409
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,560
Speaker 2: what he really wants, which is he like to take

410
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:05,000
Speaker 2: the class with just the teacher, doesn't really want the

411
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:08,840
Speaker 2: other people to be there. He's too ashamed to ask

412
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:11,040
Speaker 2: for what he wants. And he kept pushing back on me,

413
00:20:11,119 --> 00:20:13,520
Speaker 2: don't call her, don't say this, And I said to him,

414
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Speaker 2: I said, you know, Dad, at the end of the day,

415
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Speaker 2: I understand that you've lived a life where you have

416
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:23,080
Speaker 2: felt like you wanted something and you felt some shame

417
00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:25,080
Speaker 2: around it, and you haven't asked for what you need.

418
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Speaker 2: But I and you taught me that by the way

419
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Speaker 2: you taught me that.

420
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Speaker 4: They ident do you, that your yes.

421
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Speaker 2: And I have spent you know, forty years trying to

422
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Speaker 2: undo that voice. I'm not always successful, but I'm at

423
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:41,399
Speaker 2: least aware of that it is okay for me to

424
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Speaker 2: ask for my needs and not feel ashamed in wanting

425
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:48,359
Speaker 2: whatever they are, maybe you don't get them. It isn't

426
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:51,280
Speaker 2: about the result of what you get. It's just about

427
00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:54,159
Speaker 2: the presentation of being able to ask for what you

428
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,919
Speaker 2: want and need, and so I said that to him,

429
00:20:56,920 --> 00:21:00,600
Speaker 2: and I said, and here's the thing, as your care now,

430
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:06,600
Speaker 2: I can't sit here and just accept that we can't

431
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,240
Speaker 2: ask for there's no space to ask for what you want.

432
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Speaker 2: So I am going to talk to the teacher and

433
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:14,920
Speaker 2: she's not going to think you're an asshole, and we're

434
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:16,399
Speaker 2: going to find a way for you to be happy

435
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,879
Speaker 2: in the class, because that's actually what's important. So not

436
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:26,760
Speaker 2: sexual at all, but an interesting like connection about the

437
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:29,120
Speaker 2: shame involved with asking for what you want.

438
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:30,960
Speaker 1: And yeah, that's a great point.

439
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:32,840
Speaker 4: Both roles are vulnerable.

440
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:36,280
Speaker 3: You know, it's vulnerable of Breed to say, hey, teach

441
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:39,600
Speaker 3: me about this kink that you're into, and then it

442
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:42,320
Speaker 3: will be even more vulnerable for her to step outside

443
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:45,000
Speaker 3: of her comfort zone and try to fulfill that fantasy

444
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:47,400
Speaker 3: for him in a way that I'm sure to her

445
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:51,000
Speaker 3: initially feels really awkward and clumsy and difficult.

446
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:53,840
Speaker 4: But it's also really vulnerable.

447
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:57,560
Speaker 3: For him to even say these are my fantasies because

448
00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:00,240
Speaker 3: you open yourself up, especially in a sexual context. I

449
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:04,040
Speaker 3: think when you ask for something that you want, you

450
00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:07,320
Speaker 3: open yourself up to your partner laughing in your face

451
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:11,120
Speaker 3: or saying honestly, which Bree kind of does say when

452
00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:13,639
Speaker 3: they first watch the porn, like what happened to you

453
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:15,600
Speaker 3: in your childhood? That you're so fucked up that this

454
00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 3: is a sexual fantasy that you have judgment, Yeah, exactly,

455
00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:24,720
Speaker 3: the judgment of the fantasy. And I think I think

456
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:29,880
Speaker 3: as adults who want to, you know, be sexually mature

457
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:33,840
Speaker 3: and emotionally mature partners, I think the best thing we

458
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:36,800
Speaker 3: can try to do is not bring our own personal

459
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 3: judgment to listening to what our partner's fantasies might be.

460
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:45,159
Speaker 2: I feel like this is a really good example of

461
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:48,880
Speaker 2: where the different generations I'm X, your Y, and your

462
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:53,560
Speaker 2: Z have different views on this because I feel like

463
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:58,520
Speaker 2: my my generation and this is probably Brion rex is

464
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:02,760
Speaker 2: you know, don't talk about it to keep it repressed.

465
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:06,600
Speaker 2: Go have an affair with with Mazie, you know what

466
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:10,840
Speaker 2: I mean, like like find your dominatrix, like outside of

467
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:12,760
Speaker 2: your marriage. I mean, I remember.

468
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:15,760
Speaker 3: Really stage advice, Hey, go find your dominatrix outside your marriage.

469
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:19,200
Speaker 2: No, but I mean I think my generation. I bet

470
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:23,000
Speaker 2: you if you had a poll of people over sixty,

471
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,840
Speaker 2: they would say, like that it might be better to

472
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:30,320
Speaker 2: go get freaky things somewhere else and not burden your

473
00:23:30,359 --> 00:23:31,040
Speaker 2: partner with them.

474
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:36,240
Speaker 5: And I think that my generation is trying to work

475
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:40,800
Speaker 5: against that by you know, being a generation that attempts

476
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:45,560
Speaker 5: at destigmatizing couples, counseling and exploring your relationship. And of

477
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:47,520
Speaker 5: course there's like the big boom of when we're talking

478
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:51,679
Speaker 5: about porn, like the big boom of access to porn

479
00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:54,719
Speaker 5: in the past. However, many years since the computer has

480
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:57,400
Speaker 5: been in our house, you know, has changed and probably

481
00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:59,919
Speaker 5: offered a lot of people outlets for things and then

482
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:03,000
Speaker 5: started new conversations. But I don't think that as a

483
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:06,159
Speaker 5: millennial we are really that advanced either. I think we

484
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,879
Speaker 5: still have hang ups about it, and I see younger

485
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:15,080
Speaker 5: generations feeling a lot more open minded, less judgy, less

486
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:18,560
Speaker 5: critical of each other's wants and needs. I heard an

487
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:21,760
Speaker 5: interview with Esther Perel the amazing Yeah, isn't she great?

488
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:24,840
Speaker 5: And she said something and you know, I would want

489
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:26,359
Speaker 5: to go back and kind of dig a little bit deeper.

490
00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:28,480
Speaker 5: But my takeaway from it was that she was expressing

491
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:32,119
Speaker 5: that generalizing of course, but there's a big difference between

492
00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:36,400
Speaker 5: men and women's approach to sex in that the frequency

493
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:39,160
Speaker 5: of the sex doesn't matter as much to women as

494
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:43,439
Speaker 5: the quality of it, and so feeling connected, feeling like

495
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:46,960
Speaker 5: it's varied, like it's a new experience, maybe not every time,

496
00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:49,960
Speaker 5: but that it's rooted in real connection and so it

497
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 5: can kind of go all over the place, matters more

498
00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:56,600
Speaker 5: than how often they're having sex, right, And I was

499
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:58,879
Speaker 5: using that to kind of think about this episode and

500
00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:02,120
Speaker 5: how much pressure there is around sex and Valentine's Day.

501
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:06,440
Speaker 5: Like people think of Valentine's Day, yes, as romance and

502
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:08,479
Speaker 5: but like also as a sexy holiday.

503
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,280
Speaker 3: We were talking about, god forbid, you have a YaST

504
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:11,720
Speaker 3: infection on Valentine Sure?

505
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:12,480
Speaker 1: Yeah?

506
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:17,760
Speaker 5: Or like the expectation of like getting lingerie and dressing

507
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:20,520
Speaker 5: up and like feeling like you have to have sex

508
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,320
Speaker 5: if you go out to dinner, which also the order

509
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:25,000
Speaker 5: of things I think is so screwed up. Like who

510
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,359
Speaker 5: wants to go out to dinner, have a big dinner,

511
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:28,400
Speaker 5: and then go home and have sex.

512
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:30,959
Speaker 1: You have sex before.

513
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:32,360
Speaker 4: This is what I'm saying.

514
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:35,920
Speaker 3: Valentine's Day is the day to be in your house

515
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:38,440
Speaker 3: and have a lot of sex if you want to,

516
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,159
Speaker 3: and then order a pizza because you.

517
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:42,440
Speaker 1: Went after dinner the night before.

518
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:47,840
Speaker 3: Maybe yeah, or wine, sex, pizza, wine, sex, pizza. I

519
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:49,720
Speaker 3: would say that's the order to do Valentine's Day, and

520
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:55,560
Speaker 3: maybe candles wine, sex, pizza, chocolate, chocolate, definitely chocolate.

521
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:57,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, is lingerie in there?

522
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,159
Speaker 4: No, you can do whatever you want with langerie. Can

523
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:00,480
Speaker 4: you talk a.

524
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:03,320
Speaker 5: Rule about lingerie and then we can we can, you know,

525
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:05,800
Speaker 5: move to some other storylines of this episode. But I

526
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:09,560
Speaker 5: don't think I think, don't ever buy Maybe I'm this

527
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:10,640
Speaker 5: is controversial hot take.

528
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:12,640
Speaker 1: Don't ever buy expense of lingerie.

529
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,880
Speaker 4: Because if you poop your pants, my.

530
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 2: I was gonna go to like, if he rips it off,

531
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:22,680
Speaker 2: this is my thing. It comes all over it and

532
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:25,040
Speaker 2: it's like, but if.

533
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:29,399
Speaker 5: You're trying to entice your partner by wearing beautiful lingerie,

534
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 5: the end result is probably that it's gonna come off

535
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:36,160
Speaker 5: of you very quickly, and you're probably only gonna wear

536
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:36,960
Speaker 5: it one time.

537
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 2: Not when you're my age. My bra never comes off.

538
00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:41,040
Speaker 1: Okay, well then you.

539
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:46,560
Speaker 2: Lift it up. I mean, yeah, no, I should buy

540
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:50,200
Speaker 2: very I don't thinks to the bottom.

541
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:52,680
Speaker 5: Okay, I don't think the lingerie has to look cheap,

542
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:54,400
Speaker 5: but I don't think it should be expensive.

543
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:55,400
Speaker 1: It doesn't make any sense.

544
00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:58,480
Speaker 5: To me, unless you're wearing your lingerie sort of as clothing,

545
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:00,840
Speaker 5: which like you know people wear, like have a pretty

546
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:02,199
Speaker 5: boostie with a blazer over it.

547
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:03,000
Speaker 1: I think that's great.

548
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,200
Speaker 5: But if you're wearing it with the intention for someone

549
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:07,160
Speaker 5: to take it off of you, and they are probably

550
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:08,800
Speaker 5: going to think you look so fabulous that they're gonna

551
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:11,040
Speaker 5: want to take it off right away. Why why are

552
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:12,800
Speaker 5: we spending so much money on lingerie? So that's my

553
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,120
Speaker 5: that's I agree. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

554
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:19,960
Speaker 3: Well, I really have nothing to add to that except would.

555
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:23,199
Speaker 2: You want to move to spanking then, because it's like

556
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:27,920
Speaker 2: sex adjacent, it's you know, it's it's dominatrix adjacent.

557
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,800
Speaker 3: But in this episode it feels like the natural progression

558
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:32,640
Speaker 3: from Valentime's Data Spanker. Yes.

559
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 2: In this episode we have Lynette who is dealing with

560
00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:40,760
Speaker 2: her very hairy, crazy children who are, as it turns out,

561
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:44,159
Speaker 2: stealing items from all of the neighbors and in the

562
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 2: end revealing one specific part of our mystery, which which

563
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:52,960
Speaker 2: we can get to. But so, Lynette wants to not

564
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:56,280
Speaker 2: believe that her kids are as bad as they are, wants.

565
00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:58,199
Speaker 3: To believe their gift from God as the opening of

566
00:27:58,240 --> 00:27:59,440
Speaker 3: the episode right.

567
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,679
Speaker 2: Exactly on who's going to tell her but when? But

568
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:06,400
Speaker 2: when she finds out that they have stolen one thing,

569
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:09,280
Speaker 2: and she thinks, like, okay, what's going to be the

570
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:13,080
Speaker 2: toughest thing to make them never steal anything again? And

571
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:19,000
Speaker 2: she does this whole sort of pantomime of like that

572
00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:21,840
Speaker 2: she's not really going to spank them, but she pretends

573
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:25,440
Speaker 2: that she is. And she offers like, would you like this,

574
00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:28,280
Speaker 2: you know, tree branch, would you like this belt? Would

575
00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:29,399
Speaker 2: you like this spatula?

576
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:33,160
Speaker 4: Like get Rex in there. She wants to have this conversation.

577
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 1: Who wants to be hand coached?

578
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:38,840
Speaker 2: And she offers them the idea that like, okay, you guys,

579
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:41,040
Speaker 2: you know you're getting spanked with something, so you pick

580
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:42,880
Speaker 2: what you want to be spanked with. And I just

581
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:47,960
Speaker 2: have to say, in my generation this like this happened

582
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,840
Speaker 2: to me, you were spanked. I wis and I have

583
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:55,000
Speaker 2: really vivid memories of being spanked with a belt. And

584
00:28:55,080 --> 00:29:02,800
Speaker 2: I'm sure that my dad is horrified in hindsight at this.

585
00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:09,080
Speaker 2: And you know, I think this is something you definitely

586
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:11,360
Speaker 2: think about as you as you grow older and you

587
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:14,520
Speaker 2: forgive things that have happened in the past. And you

588
00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:17,440
Speaker 2: sort of understand more deeply where people come from and

589
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:20,040
Speaker 2: why do they behave the way they behave, and and

590
00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:23,000
Speaker 2: this is a good way. I think analyzing human behavior

591
00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:25,880
Speaker 2: is a good way for you to feel some control

592
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:29,160
Speaker 2: about what you can do with your emotions. So I mean,

593
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:32,720
Speaker 2: I don't walk around angry at my parents. I never

594
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:36,360
Speaker 2: spanked you, and I would not. You know, I don't

595
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:39,360
Speaker 2: think that's a great idea. I don't think hitting anybody

596
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 2: is a great idea to accomplish any kind of communication.

597
00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:45,160
Speaker 1: To that part of.

598
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:47,440
Speaker 3: You.

599
00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:49,240
Speaker 2: Just can't get off of it. We just see, we can't.

600
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:53,040
Speaker 2: We can't get off of it. But anyway, I was,

601
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:58,440
Speaker 2: I was, and you know, I I'm sure it was

602
00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:01,800
Speaker 2: a great level of frustration that my dad had. Like

603
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:04,240
Speaker 2: it was at a time where my mom was working

604
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 2: in Europe, so I was a little kid and I

605
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:09,320
Speaker 2: was home with my dad and you know, he was

606
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:11,480
Speaker 2: working and we never you know, I didn't have a

607
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:13,880
Speaker 2: nanny like none of that, like none of the fancy

608
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 2: things that children seem to have now whatever like that.

609
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:19,800
Speaker 2: And I'm sure he just like was tired and hit

610
00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:21,560
Speaker 2: a wall. And I don't know what I exactly I

611
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:26,520
Speaker 2: was doing that deserved that, But I know that where

612
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:29,280
Speaker 2: he came from, Like he's told me stories about growing

613
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:32,000
Speaker 2: up in Oklahoma, where his parents would say, go out

614
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:35,200
Speaker 2: and get pick the switch that you're gonna then get

615
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:39,000
Speaker 2: a paddling with like she does in the in the scene,

616
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:43,120
Speaker 2: and like Lynette does in the scene, and you just

617
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:44,640
Speaker 2: think you can't believe that that happened.

618
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:47,400
Speaker 3: Well, can we sum up, like we're all rapid fire

619
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:49,600
Speaker 3: answer were neae on spanking?

620
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:50,920
Speaker 1: We're all nay.

621
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:55,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, definitely nay on spanking. Yeah for sure, but I do.

622
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,640
Speaker 2: Think and ultimately no, Lynette is too.

623
00:30:57,960 --> 00:30:58,240
Speaker 1: Yes.

624
00:30:58,360 --> 00:30:58,600
Speaker 4: Yes.

625
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:02,040
Speaker 2: So it was an interesting because I don't think her

626
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:04,640
Speaker 2: plan was never to actually spank. It was the threat

627
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:07,400
Speaker 2: of you, if you do it again, then this is

628
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:08,240
Speaker 2: what's going to happen.

629
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:19,640
Speaker 3: The idea of people who do spank their kids, though,

630
00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:21,960
Speaker 3: actually brings me to another idea I was thinking about

631
00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 3: in this episode with the kind of power dynamic between

632
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 3: Gabby and yellin when and it's really kind of atrocious,

633
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:34,840
Speaker 3: I would say personal behavior scene of Gabby's character in

634
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:36,680
Speaker 3: the beginning when she's kind of doing her makeup and

635
00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:40,160
Speaker 3: Yeallen's cleaning the floor and she's getting off a phone call.

636
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:41,320
Speaker 4: Gabby's getting off a phone.

637
00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:42,760
Speaker 3: Call where she's finding out that she's not going to

638
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:44,920
Speaker 3: get paid enough, or she has this kind of crappy

639
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:48,720
Speaker 3: modeling job, and she's clearly feeling really bad about herself,

640
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:51,320
Speaker 3: and instead of sitting with those feelings, she turns to

641
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:54,440
Speaker 3: Yellin and tells her to keep scrubbing the floor. I

642
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:58,520
Speaker 3: think on her knees where she belongs is the actual phrasing,

643
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:03,840
Speaker 3: which is just gross. But I think the way that

644
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:09,000
Speaker 3: people look to assert power when they feel powerless is

645
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:13,560
Speaker 3: really interesting. Gabby is feeling super powerless, and she's scanning

646
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:17,640
Speaker 3: the room for who can she feel more powerful than

647
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 3: in this moment, And I think with spanking a similar

648
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:24,720
Speaker 3: idea of when you're at your wits end, feeling so

649
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:29,160
Speaker 3: helpless and powerless, what do you try to do to

650
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:32,880
Speaker 3: regain that power? And I think that can be a

651
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:35,959
Speaker 3: lot of times those actions are super misguided.

652
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:38,680
Speaker 5: Oh totally, and cutting cutting someone down to size in

653
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:42,400
Speaker 5: that way is maybe an immediate hit of something that

654
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:46,240
Speaker 5: you're lacking, but the long term effects on one's soul

655
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:48,440
Speaker 5: from behaving that way are.

656
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 1: Just have to be terrible.

657
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,600
Speaker 5: But I noticed when you said that that then the

658
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:56,720
Speaker 5: kind of juxtaposition book end of the episode going, where

659
00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:59,000
Speaker 5: as you mentioned, Gabrielle ends up working getting a job

660
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:01,000
Speaker 5: at a makeup store and applying.

661
00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:02,480
Speaker 1: Makeup to Yeallin.

662
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:06,080
Speaker 5: I don't think I associated the fact that she was

663
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:08,880
Speaker 5: herself putting on makeup when she made that disgusting comment

664
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:11,680
Speaker 5: to Yellin, and then she ends by putting makeup on her,

665
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:15,720
Speaker 5: which I think is kind of, you know, nice, not redeeming.

666
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:18,200
Speaker 5: I actually hated this moment for Gabrielle.

667
00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:21,959
Speaker 2: Really, it really was. It was it was, but it

668
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:24,800
Speaker 2: was a powerful moment for Yealllin. You know, she says

669
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:30,239
Speaker 2: you're not better than me, and it you know, I

670
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 2: think some of this stuff is really relevant today, and

671
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:36,920
Speaker 2: maybe that's why the show continues to be popular and

672
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:41,080
Speaker 2: draw new generations in and old viewers back to it

673
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:45,360
Speaker 2: for things like that, For moments where one character who

674
00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:49,600
Speaker 2: seems like they're quote unquote less than another character saying like,

675
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:52,680
Speaker 2: you're not better than me, because we no one is

676
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:56,680
Speaker 2: better than anyone. You know, we're all human. We all

677
00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:00,520
Speaker 2: I mean so cliche, but bleed the same, and we

678
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:03,640
Speaker 2: love the same, and we feel lost and we feel grief,

679
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:08,600
Speaker 2: and you know, it's just such a waste of time

680
00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:16,239
Speaker 2: that we keep imprinting this idea of other on each other.

681
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:17,240
Speaker 2: It makes me so sad.

682
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:21,960
Speaker 3: And the idea of hierarchical thinking of relationships or your

683
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:24,799
Speaker 3: relation to anyone, I think is just the root of

684
00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:28,080
Speaker 3: so much suffering. For the person who maybe thinks they're

685
00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:31,520
Speaker 3: above someone, and for the person who that they think

686
00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:34,359
Speaker 3: that they're above it's just you know, we're all, yeah,

687
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:36,839
Speaker 3: we're all human beings. This is not a revelatory thought,

688
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:39,440
Speaker 3: but it does seem like something that maybe people right

689
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:40,880
Speaker 3: now could be reminded.

690
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:43,080
Speaker 5: Of, well, something that because you said, you know, we

691
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 5: all bleed the same. So going back to the whole

692
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:47,560
Speaker 5: bleeding thing, and then bringing in the mic of it all,

693
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:50,799
Speaker 5: the conversation that Susan and Mike are having at that

694
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:55,280
Speaker 5: dinner while he is trying to clot himself hopefully in time,

695
00:34:56,360 --> 00:35:00,000
Speaker 5: Susan feels There's a comment made early in the episode

696
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:02,400
Speaker 5: where Mike alludes to wanting children.

697
00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:02,759
Speaker 1: I care.

698
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:04,320
Speaker 5: He just flat out says, I can't wait to be

699
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:04,919
Speaker 5: a dad or something.

700
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,319
Speaker 3: He helps he helps pick up Lynette's kids to take

701
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:09,439
Speaker 3: them over, and and it's like, oh, I love kids.

702
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:10,680
Speaker 4: I can't wait to have kids on my own.

703
00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:12,239
Speaker 1: Yes, I can't wait to have kids on my own.

704
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:15,320
Speaker 5: And then Susan has her pratfall, which was great, and

705
00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:16,839
Speaker 5: then she was it great.

706
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:19,759
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, was it great? Because I just I saw

707
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:22,520
Speaker 2: that moment where Susan has another prep fall like a

708
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:25,480
Speaker 2: shocking like I have to have kids fall out of frame.

709
00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:27,839
Speaker 1: And did it feel like too much?

710
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:31,719
Speaker 2: Well, I just thought I didn't okay so much. I

711
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:34,799
Speaker 2: don't remember. I don't remember anything, Like it is just

712
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:38,640
Speaker 2: crazy to me how little I remember. But I look

713
00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 2: at a moment like that, and I'm like, Okay, I

714
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:44,640
Speaker 2: don't think I just did that. Like I don't think

715
00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:50,719
Speaker 2: I was as terry adding pratfalls all over the place's choreography. No,

716
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:53,000
Speaker 2: but I mean, I don't even think it was my idea.

717
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:55,759
Speaker 2: Oh it would be funny if I fell here, Like,

718
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:58,279
Speaker 2: I don't think I did that unless they wrote it,

719
00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:01,680
Speaker 2: you know. So so they wrote it, and whoever directed

720
00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:03,960
Speaker 2: it decided to direct it in that way where I

721
00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:05,680
Speaker 2: kind of like fell out a frame, which I thought

722
00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:07,759
Speaker 2: was funny. No, I thought it was funny. I just

723
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:12,560
Speaker 2: I'm hearing the Reddit people, all the people on Reddit

724
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:15,520
Speaker 2: that are like Susan was the most annoying character. We

725
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:18,880
Speaker 2: hate Susan. She's so annoying, and I feel like these

726
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:23,560
Speaker 2: moments began to add up and made her annoying. I'm

727
00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:25,080
Speaker 2: just gonna say I didn't write it.

728
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 4: You can never listen to the reddit pece.

729
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:29,879
Speaker 5: I was going to say, we need a little sound

730
00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:34,080
Speaker 5: effect like an at Terry's seen some of the reddit threads.

731
00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 1: I've also seen some of the reddit threads.

732
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:39,120
Speaker 5: I agree we shouldn't hang out there, but you know,

733
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:42,200
Speaker 5: I like the prat falls. I understand some of the behaviors,

734
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:44,640
Speaker 5: a little clowny, and maybe we'll get even more of that,

735
00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:47,279
Speaker 5: and then maybe we'll I'll have stronger feelings about it,

736
00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:50,440
Speaker 5: but I enjoyed it. But I do think that the conversation.

737
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:54,560
Speaker 5: So then Susan goes. She has this great scene with Julie.

738
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:57,040
Speaker 5: I really liked the scene that was in this episode

739
00:36:57,080 --> 00:37:01,960
Speaker 5: where our characters were discussing the idea of sharing with

740
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:05,520
Speaker 5: your partner, maybe an opposing view on whether or not

741
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:08,040
Speaker 5: you want children, And it made me think about how

742
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:12,000
Speaker 5: important those conversations are and how again it's an example

743
00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:14,759
Speaker 5: of not necessarily knowing how to stand by your needs

744
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:17,440
Speaker 5: or your wants out of fear of being judged or

745
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:21,760
Speaker 5: left rejected or rejected by someone else, and so I

746
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:23,520
Speaker 5: wanted to share that as So.

747
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:25,279
Speaker 1: I started dating.

748
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:28,840
Speaker 5: My now husband when I was thirty, and I felt

749
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:31,920
Speaker 5: like I wanted to introduce the topic of having children

750
00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:35,360
Speaker 5: pretty early on in our relationship, because you know, I

751
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:37,120
Speaker 5: was thirty, I knew what I wanted, and I knew

752
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:38,960
Speaker 5: it was going to be a thing that I also

753
00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:41,840
Speaker 5: just felt like the relationship was definitely heading in the

754
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:44,520
Speaker 5: direction of being a very substantial relationship in my life,

755
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:47,680
Speaker 5: probably the substantial relationship of my life, and I wanted

756
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:49,000
Speaker 5: to make sure that we were on the same page.

757
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:49,760
Speaker 5: So I introduced.

758
00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:52,240
Speaker 2: By the way, audience, Emerson and I are just beaming

759
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:54,239
Speaker 2: because we love Andrew so much and.

760
00:37:54,239 --> 00:37:56,800
Speaker 4: We're so happy because you're pregnant. So clearly a conversation

761
00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:57,319
Speaker 4: looked well.

762
00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:04,600
Speaker 5: The conversation went well, no, But I remember being scared

763
00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:08,279
Speaker 5: of broaching the topic, not knowing how to do it,

764
00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 5: you know, with the right amount of I don't know

765
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:15,399
Speaker 5: the finding the right words, or how early is too early.

766
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:17,279
Speaker 5: So I wanted to talk about that with you guys.

767
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:19,120
Speaker 4: What did you do, what were the words? And when

768
00:38:19,120 --> 00:38:19,640
Speaker 4: did you say that?

769
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:23,920
Speaker 5: I think it sort of fortunately, kind of organically came

770
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:26,680
Speaker 5: up when talking about where the relationship was headed and

771
00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 5: all of that, And I think I just said, I

772
00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:35,360
Speaker 5: I feel really strongly for you, and I see this

773
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:38,960
Speaker 5: relationship really going somewhere, and I would like to introduce

774
00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:41,600
Speaker 5: the idea that I want to have kids some day

775
00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:42,880
Speaker 5: and I want to know how you feel about that.

776
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 1: Is that something you also want?

777
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:45,839
Speaker 2: Oh?

778
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:47,520
Speaker 4: Could he not say? Yes, they're so cute?

779
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:48,680
Speaker 3: No?

780
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:50,839
Speaker 5: You know what's funny is in the hindsight, I think

781
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:53,000
Speaker 5: he was kind of trying to be a little wishy

782
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:56,080
Speaker 5: washy on it. Like I think he himself needed time

783
00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:57,960
Speaker 5: to work out how he felt.

784
00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:01,920
Speaker 2: About being a dad. Yeah, not necessarily even with you totally.

785
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, No, I think in general or being or just

786
00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:07,439
Speaker 5: always battling the idea of like if I say yes,

787
00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:09,839
Speaker 5: what does that mean if I say concretely yes, or like,

788
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:12,960
Speaker 5: you know, sometimes it's more comforting to buy yourself an out.

789
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:16,640
Speaker 5: And so but here we are, and we're, you know,

790
00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:19,680
Speaker 5: obviously very excited to embark on parenthood together. But how

791
00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:21,719
Speaker 5: do you guys feel how early on do you feel

792
00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:24,680
Speaker 5: like it's important to bring that conversation up and is

793
00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:25,520
Speaker 5: it age dependent?

794
00:39:25,719 --> 00:39:28,120
Speaker 3: Or is it just you know, I would say, in

795
00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:30,440
Speaker 3: between sex and pizza on Valentine's.

796
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:35,319
Speaker 2: Another order nicely done for me. I don't have to

797
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:39,080
Speaker 2: bring it up anymore because that ship sailed so so yay,

798
00:39:39,239 --> 00:39:42,000
Speaker 2: I don't. Did you talk about it in your marriage

799
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:45,480
Speaker 2: or are getting married again? Going back to the generational differences,

800
00:39:45,680 --> 00:39:48,600
Speaker 2: I think it was less talked about because it was

801
00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:51,920
Speaker 2: just assumed. I think in my generation, no one was

802
00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:55,440
Speaker 2: walking around considering the idea of not having children, like

803
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:57,840
Speaker 2: getting married but not having children. It just wasn't a

804
00:39:57,880 --> 00:40:00,960
Speaker 2: thing like that feels like a thing that started to

805
00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:03,400
Speaker 2: become something people talk about in the last ten to

806
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:03,960
Speaker 2: twenty years.

807
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 4: Well, I get that.

808
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:07,080
Speaker 3: I mean, I think, especially being in the queer community,

809
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:11,360
Speaker 3: it's definitely less of an assumption, or at least not

810
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:14,000
Speaker 3: an assumption that like if you get married or you

811
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:18,160
Speaker 3: get together, then you know, biologically you're naturally gonna just

812
00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:19,359
Speaker 3: get pregnant one day.

813
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:19,560
Speaker 2: You know.

814
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:23,000
Speaker 3: It takes a lot more planning on how you want

815
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:23,760
Speaker 3: to start a family.

816
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:26,200
Speaker 4: And I think maybe partially.

817
00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:28,160
Speaker 3: Because of that, there is a I know a lot

818
00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:32,040
Speaker 3: of couples who are sure the queer couples and honestly

819
00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:34,920
Speaker 3: straight couples who are sure that they don't want to

820
00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:37,920
Speaker 3: have kids. I also think the state of our world

821
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:40,640
Speaker 3: right now, the state of the climate crisis, like there

822
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:45,880
Speaker 3: are big existential dread factors that my generation faces that

823
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:49,920
Speaker 3: I think in a super real way, I would understand

824
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:53,360
Speaker 3: why they give pause to the idea of if people

825
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:56,560
Speaker 3: want to have children or not. I personally know I

826
00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:58,440
Speaker 3: want to have kids. I've always wanted to have kids.

827
00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:03,160
Speaker 3: I'm feeling optimistic about planet. I have a recycled doubling

828
00:41:03,239 --> 00:41:04,879
Speaker 3: down mill. I'm gonna double down.

829
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:08,279
Speaker 1: But someone has to feel optimistic.

830
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:10,840
Speaker 3: But I think, you know, I think if I was

831
00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:14,400
Speaker 3: with someone even seriously for you know, six months, I

832
00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:17,040
Speaker 3: feel like that would be something that I would I

833
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:19,680
Speaker 3: would at least make known that that was something that

834
00:41:19,719 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 3: I wanted, because if that was something they definitely didn't want,

835
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:25,000
Speaker 3: then maybe what's the point of I will.

836
00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:27,680
Speaker 2: Say that one of the reasons, like people often ask me,

837
00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:29,879
Speaker 2: like why am I not dating anymore? Or like why

838
00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:32,080
Speaker 2: did you know? I mean, and it isn't that I'm

839
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:34,319
Speaker 2: not dating anymore. It's just I'm not I don't know

840
00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:37,480
Speaker 2: where it is anyway, But I'm not like actively on

841
00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:40,239
Speaker 2: apps or anything like that, but people would ask why

842
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:42,319
Speaker 2: I didn't want to date younger men, like this is

843
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:44,759
Speaker 2: not so much now, but like I guess when I

844
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:48,640
Speaker 2: was like fifty five or in my early fifties, people

845
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:50,000
Speaker 2: would say like, oh, you should go out with a

846
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:53,400
Speaker 2: forty year old, and I always resisted that. And my

847
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:56,480
Speaker 2: big point was that if I meet a forty year

848
00:41:56,480 --> 00:42:02,239
Speaker 2: old who doesn't have children, man who even says he

849
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:07,520
Speaker 2: doesn't want to have children, I would bet money that

850
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:11,040
Speaker 2: when that man turns fifty, he's gonna suddenly want to

851
00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:14,080
Speaker 2: have a baby, and then I'm going to be sixty

852
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:17,759
Speaker 2: one and not able to do it, and then he's

853
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:21,080
Speaker 2: going to leave me. And so that was kind of

854
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:25,160
Speaker 2: one of the reasons I didn't believe in dating younger

855
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,960
Speaker 2: men who didn't have children, because even if they say

856
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:30,640
Speaker 2: they didn't want them, they could change their mind. And

857
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:33,040
Speaker 2: men can they can they? You know, they have that

858
00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:36,520
Speaker 2: power to suddenly I mean, you know, I don't need

859
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:38,719
Speaker 2: to list the celebrities' names that have said they're never

860
00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:41,480
Speaker 2: going to have children and then get into their late

861
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:42,920
Speaker 2: fifties and sixties and suddenly do.

862
00:42:43,239 --> 00:42:44,879
Speaker 5: Like I don't know if either of you watch Love

863
00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:46,880
Speaker 5: is Blind, but on the season of Love is Blind.

864
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:50,439
Speaker 5: There is a man on there who has a son

865
00:42:50,760 --> 00:42:54,080
Speaker 5: and then he has he had a vasectomy, and part

866
00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:57,560
Speaker 5: of the Love Is Blind, right, they don't see each other,

867
00:42:57,560 --> 00:42:59,359
Speaker 5: they don't meet until they decide that they're going to get.

868
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:00,319
Speaker 2: Pin watch it.

869
00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:03,200
Speaker 4: I need to watch this new season.

870
00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:05,240
Speaker 1: Okay, So anyway, I know.

871
00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:08,640
Speaker 2: I'm a fan.

872
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:12,200
Speaker 5: So part of the conversation is, uh, is you know,

873
00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:14,680
Speaker 5: is he going to get his VASEECTM reversed? And he

874
00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:16,279
Speaker 5: gets a lot of props for having the viseect me.

875
00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:18,759
Speaker 5: I thought that was interesting, Like, good on you for

876
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:20,360
Speaker 5: being the one doing the birth control.

877
00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:23,160
Speaker 2: Well, I've always I agree with that. I always thought

878
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:25,640
Speaker 2: there should be a governmental thing. Like I'm not actually

879
00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:28,040
Speaker 2: going to go hardcore on this. I think that when

880
00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:31,400
Speaker 2: boys turn eighteen, they should have to have a vasectomy

881
00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:36,400
Speaker 2: that is clearly reversible, like like totally free from the government,

882
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:41,760
Speaker 2: like you know, like but they consciously say I'm ready

883
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:44,440
Speaker 2: to have a child. Now the government gives them a

884
00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:47,040
Speaker 2: free reversal vasectomy and then they can go have children.

885
00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:49,520
Speaker 2: And that way there wouldn't be any children. No, we

886
00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:52,239
Speaker 2: wouldn't have to talk about abortion anymore because it would

887
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:55,560
Speaker 2: all be it wouldn't just be on the woman's fault.

888
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:57,480
Speaker 1: And that's your ted talk for this.

889
00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:01,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was gonna say and line up, ladies, Terry's

890
00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:05,400
Speaker 3: for president. Well this was just I mean, what a

891
00:44:05,440 --> 00:44:07,080
Speaker 3: fun Valentine's Day we all have.

892
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:09,400
Speaker 2: We got it because I made a thing and we

893
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:12,040
Speaker 2: got to talk about. Really my favorite moment in the

894
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:15,879
Speaker 2: whole episode. Okay, what so missus McCluskey, who we've all said,

895
00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:18,320
Speaker 2: we love Katherine justin, we love how she's playing this character.

896
00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:21,040
Speaker 2: We can't wait to see where she goes. But I

897
00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:24,880
Speaker 2: loved the surprise in this scene. So she finally the

898
00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:28,439
Speaker 2: kids finally go over to apologize because of course they

899
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:31,240
Speaker 2: have been stealing the things and they stole her precious clock.

900
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:34,480
Speaker 2: They come over to give her the clock back, and

901
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:38,720
Speaker 2: she invites them in to talk to them about stealing

902
00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:41,879
Speaker 2: the clock, and Lynette stays on the curb and lets

903
00:44:41,920 --> 00:44:45,040
Speaker 2: the boys go in to get you know, chastised alone.

904
00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:48,759
Speaker 2: And you think that missus McCluskey is going to be like,

905
00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:51,479
Speaker 2: you are the worst children on the planet. I hate

906
00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:55,040
Speaker 2: children like you. You're so awful, and instead she sits

907
00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:57,040
Speaker 2: them down on the couch and the first thing she

908
00:44:57,160 --> 00:45:01,359
Speaker 2: says is would you like some peanut brittle? And so

909
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:04,520
Speaker 2: they all take the peanut brittle, and she proceeds to

910
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:07,880
Speaker 2: tell them about her twelve year old son that had died,

911
00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:11,040
Speaker 2: and she gives them a little bit of a lecture

912
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:12,600
Speaker 2: about how they shouldn't steal.

913
00:45:12,360 --> 00:45:14,080
Speaker 4: Why the clock made meant so much.

914
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:15,839
Speaker 2: Which is why the clock meant so much to her,

915
00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:18,440
Speaker 2: and that they shouldn't steal, and then she says to

916
00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:23,120
Speaker 2: them in regarding her love for her now dead son,

917
00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:25,360
Speaker 2: she says, and no one will ever love you like

918
00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:28,799
Speaker 2: your mother. And then she opens the door, sends the

919
00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:31,239
Speaker 2: kid back out, but then goes right back into her

920
00:45:31,360 --> 00:45:34,080
Speaker 2: nasty relationship with Lynette, like your kids are awful, you

921
00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:35,759
Speaker 2: know what I mean? Like she's not gonna let that

922
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:39,960
Speaker 2: facade be brought down for anybody else. But because of

923
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:40,879
Speaker 2: that I.

924
00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:45,279
Speaker 3: Made, she made homemade peanut bred And I'll show if

925
00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:48,640
Speaker 3: anybody here in the studio with us likes peanut brittle

926
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:52,160
Speaker 3: I brought.

927
00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:53,520
Speaker 4: If anyone here in the studio is allergic to peanuts,

928
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:56,239
Speaker 4: Now get the time to get out.

929
00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:58,560
Speaker 2: I guess I should have asked that anyways. But yeah,

930
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:02,319
Speaker 2: so you will have that peanut brittle video up for

931
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:04,920
Speaker 2: you on my Instagram. But also I love that scene,

932
00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:07,800
Speaker 2: and I love this episode, and I love you guys,

933
00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:11,719
Speaker 2: and you know, be desperately devoted to yourself. Be desperately

934
00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:13,000
Speaker 2: devoted to your own self care.

935
00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:17,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, and like always, we are desperately devoted to you.