1 00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:16,159 Speaker 1: Advice. It's hell lower lower, lower, lower Low. Welcome to 2 00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:19,919 Speaker 1: a special edition of our weekend podcast. I'm Rob Shooter. 3 00:00:20,079 --> 00:00:23,520 Speaker 1: You know me as a celebrity reporter gossip columnist. We 4 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:27,200 Speaker 1: do a podcast Monday through Friday where we cover all 5 00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:30,479 Speaker 1: the celebrity news. It's delicious. Check it out. It's called 6 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,680 Speaker 1: Naughty but Nice. But on the weekends we focus on 7 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:38,040 Speaker 1: my other job. I am a best selling author. I'm 8 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:42,400 Speaker 1: a motivational expert. So on the weekends we go over 9 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:47,880 Speaker 1: some of the wonderful tools, messages, inspiration that we can 10 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:51,960 Speaker 1: take from the week and hopefully use again and again 11 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:55,840 Speaker 1: and again. Today's podcast is called you Are Not Broken 12 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 1: But this is It's a really important podcast. Whoever get 13 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:03,200 Speaker 1: to learn a lot of life changing skills. So many 14 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:08,160 Speaker 1: people ask what is wrong with you? Goodness knows how 15 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:12,200 Speaker 1: many times I've been asked that question myself. Well, finally 16 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:16,560 Speaker 1: I have the answer. After years and years of searching. 17 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:20,760 Speaker 1: Do you really want to know what is wrong with you? 18 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:26,480 Speaker 1: Let me tell you absolutely nothing except the way you 19 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 1: have been thinking about yourself for many years. In my life, 20 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:33,480 Speaker 1: there was not a day that went by that I 21 00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:37,039 Speaker 1: didn't tell myself that I sucked. Every hour, I would 22 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:40,720 Speaker 1: ask myself, what the hell is wrong with you? I 23 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:45,360 Speaker 1: had become infected by this cruel pattern of thinking, and 24 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:48,880 Speaker 1: that's what it is. It's a cruel pattern of thinking. 25 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:53,840 Speaker 1: It's a virus that allowed negative thoughts to fled through 26 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:58,280 Speaker 1: my mind and my body until I found the much 27 00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:02,120 Speaker 1: needed medicine. They gave me a brand new way of 28 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:06,720 Speaker 1: thinking about myself based on being kind to the most 29 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:10,680 Speaker 1: important person in my life, me. When negative thoughts start 30 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:14,160 Speaker 1: to creep into your head, cat yourself a break and 31 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 1: focus on something positive to counter balance them. This has 32 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:22,320 Speaker 1: been a life changing tip for me. Flip the cruel 33 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:25,840 Speaker 1: thoughts right on their head right away before they take 34 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:29,680 Speaker 1: over and become a conversation that you cannot win the 35 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:34,639 Speaker 1: second they start. Stop them in their tracks before they 36 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:38,320 Speaker 1: can take roots. There is nothing that you are thinking 37 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:42,160 Speaker 1: about that can't be reversed and seen from a different angle. 38 00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:47,040 Speaker 1: Because you are in control of your mind. You have 39 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:51,880 Speaker 1: the choice between negative and positive. You have the choice 40 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:58,880 Speaker 1: between cruel and kind. Start training yourself today to always 41 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:02,880 Speaker 1: choose the opt a mystic path, because before you know it, 42 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:08,280 Speaker 1: the new right away will become your default setting. For example, 43 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:13,120 Speaker 1: instead of telling yourself I don't know anything. I say, 44 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:17,000 Speaker 1: I can't wait to learn this. Instead of telling yourself 45 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:23,119 Speaker 1: everybody hates me, start thinking I love myself and I'm 46 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:28,079 Speaker 1: excited to meet people who get me. To Another example, 47 00:03:28,639 --> 00:03:32,560 Speaker 1: instead of snapping imlaya focus on what you love about yourself. 48 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:38,200 Speaker 1: That gorgeous smile, that beautiful thick hair, maybe those cute feets. 49 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:41,440 Speaker 1: You say if you were beautiful, you say, if you 50 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:47,080 Speaker 1: were strong. Don't let anybody else determine your story. Being 51 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:51,600 Speaker 1: an optimist is not about believing the answer will always 52 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:54,680 Speaker 1: be yes. No, that's not what it's about. Being an 53 00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:58,240 Speaker 1: optimist is about choosing to believe that when you get 54 00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:01,760 Speaker 1: to know, you can still handle it. Don't give up. 55 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:04,560 Speaker 1: You're so much stronger than you think you are, and 56 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:09,400 Speaker 1: you've already overcome so much in your life. Think about 57 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:12,680 Speaker 1: all those moments when you were broken, really broken, when 58 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,560 Speaker 1: you were not even sure that you would go on, 59 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:18,360 Speaker 1: but somehow you got back up and you lived another day. 60 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:21,920 Speaker 1: The truth is the only thing in life that can 61 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:26,440 Speaker 1: really break us is the broken way we have been 62 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:31,359 Speaker 1: thinking about ourselves. I wasted too much time focusing on 63 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,640 Speaker 1: my damaged right arm when I was younger, thinking I 64 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:40,120 Speaker 1: was flawed, broken, hiding every time somebody would pull out 65 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:44,280 Speaker 1: a camera, or disappearing rather than having to shake someone's hand. 66 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:47,320 Speaker 1: We're in reality. The only thing that was wrong with 67 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:50,239 Speaker 1: me was the way that I thought about myself, because 68 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:53,600 Speaker 1: there is nothing about me that ever needed fixing, and 69 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:58,920 Speaker 1: there's nothing about you either. Once we embrace and accept 70 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:03,920 Speaker 1: what makes us differ, front those flaws disappear. Lean into 71 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:07,600 Speaker 1: what you once thought were your imperfections, and what your 72 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:12,920 Speaker 1: past vulnerabilities become your strengths. Be kind enough to let 73 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:16,280 Speaker 1: go of your past. Being kind enough to let go 74 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:20,040 Speaker 1: of your past is the key to your future success. 75 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,440 Speaker 1: You are not a failure because you have failed. Let 76 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:26,640 Speaker 1: me say that one more time. You are not a 77 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:30,400 Speaker 1: failure because you have failed. To fail is something that 78 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:33,919 Speaker 1: happens to everybody. It's as simple as that. Do not 79 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:38,599 Speaker 1: make failure a personality trait, because failure does not define 80 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:42,560 Speaker 1: you unless you let it. Joan Rivers once told me, quote, 81 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,640 Speaker 1: I'm seventy five and I'm still being rejected. But you 82 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 1: can't get hit by lightning if you don't stand in 83 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:51,520 Speaker 1: the rain. No one's been standing in the rain longer 84 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:55,039 Speaker 1: than Joe, and that was the secret to her success. 85 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:58,320 Speaker 1: She never gave up. Joan would stand in the rain 86 00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:03,760 Speaker 1: longer than anybody else. As failure kept pouring pouring down, 87 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:08,400 Speaker 1: Joan kept going and knowing the road to success is 88 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:13,560 Speaker 1: paved with past failures. Never forget that all you need 89 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 1: is one Yes. Of course, you should learn by your 90 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:20,120 Speaker 1: mistakes by thinking about what went wrong and what you 91 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:23,599 Speaker 1: could do differently next time. But don't let them consume you. 92 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:27,080 Speaker 1: That's a mistake so many people make. I have failed 93 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:30,479 Speaker 1: so many times in so many different areas in my life, 94 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:33,760 Speaker 1: my business life, my personal life. Hey, I even started 95 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:36,760 Speaker 1: off my relationship with my little doggie Derby not exactly 96 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:40,640 Speaker 1: on the right foot or poor. Failure feels horrible and 97 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:44,919 Speaker 1: it's embarrassing. There's no way to sugarcoat it. But it 98 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:48,840 Speaker 1: needs to happen to teach you the lessons you need 99 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:51,520 Speaker 1: to learn to get you where you need to go. 100 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:55,120 Speaker 1: Nobody else can do it for you. Let me repeat, 101 00:06:55,680 --> 00:07:00,080 Speaker 1: no shining armored clad night on a horse is coming 102 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:04,359 Speaker 1: to save you. Only you can do the work to succeed. 103 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:08,280 Speaker 1: So find a safe place where you can practice, where 104 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:13,560 Speaker 1: you can fail, and ultimately where you can succeed. An 105 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:20,360 Speaker 1: opportunity knocks try and fail, but never ever failed to try. 106 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:23,960 Speaker 1: One of Ashley Simpson's earliest performances on TV was on 107 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:27,320 Speaker 1: Saturday Night Live. I was her publicist just afterwards. This 108 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:31,320 Speaker 1: was a big mistake. She hadn't paid her dues. Ashley 109 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:35,200 Speaker 1: hadn't learned her craft that every other singer that's ever 110 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:39,600 Speaker 1: played a dive piano bar, like Alicia Keys and Barry Manelow, 111 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:44,320 Speaker 1: they learned their skills there long before Jennifer Lopez shook 112 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:47,600 Speaker 1: her Bedazzled Bottom and Madison Square Garden. She was a 113 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:50,960 Speaker 1: backup singer, lost in the shadows, learning the tools of 114 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:55,120 Speaker 1: her trade. My success did not come overnight. It took 115 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:58,960 Speaker 1: me years of learning and watching and practicing before I 116 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,440 Speaker 1: got my own column or I got my own hit podcast. 117 00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:05,000 Speaker 1: And the only person who will determine your success tomorrow 118 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:08,920 Speaker 1: is you today. So instead of being overwhelmed and scared, 119 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:13,840 Speaker 1: be inspired knowing that your success is in the hands 120 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:19,200 Speaker 1: of no one but you. See, the only thing about 121 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:24,320 Speaker 1: yourself that was ever broken in any way was the 122 00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:29,320 Speaker 1: way you have been thinking about yourself. It is not you. 123 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:32,880 Speaker 1: You are not broken. Stop asking what's wrong with me 124 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:36,880 Speaker 1: and instead ask what happened? When you ask what happened. 125 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:40,400 Speaker 1: It leads you to the real answer. Do the work. 126 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 1: Do the work, day in, day out, because there's going 127 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:48,800 Speaker 1: to come a moment when you will succeed. I promise you, 128 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:52,120 Speaker 1: if you stick with it, if you keep going, if 129 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:55,880 Speaker 1: you believe in yourself, and you stop asking what is 130 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:59,680 Speaker 1: wrong with me, you will realize that there is nothing, 131 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:04,120 Speaker 1: and never has been anything wrong with you. It just 132 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:09,360 Speaker 1: wasn't your time. Well now it is. Hey. I hope 133 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:12,920 Speaker 1: you enjoy these ten minutes, these short podcasts we're doing 134 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,960 Speaker 1: each weekend. The response has been overwhelming, so thank you 135 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:18,240 Speaker 1: so much for that. I see your d ms, I 136 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:20,640 Speaker 1: get your emails, I get your notes. I'm really really 137 00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:23,120 Speaker 1: grateful for them. And I also to I see the 138 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:27,200 Speaker 1: numbers on the podcast. We get more numbers, higher numbers, 139 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:31,440 Speaker 1: more listeners on these weekend shows than we do on 140 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:34,640 Speaker 1: the regular show. So there's something out there. I think 141 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:37,800 Speaker 1: we all need a friend, we all need a little 142 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:41,719 Speaker 1: bit of help. So let me guarantee you I'm a 143 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:48,280 Speaker 1: friend and I'm happy to help. Have a great It's 144 00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:49,640 Speaker 1: not even nice with