1 00:00:01,480 --> 00:00:04,240 Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if 2 00:00:04,280 --> 00:00:08,360 Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, on work, sex, parenting, and more, 3 00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:12,040 Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEFRVEFM dot com. All 4 00:00:12,039 --> 00:00:14,360 Speaker 1: you have to do is click submit Strawberry Letter. We 5 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:17,760 Speaker 1: could receive your letter and read it live on the air, 6 00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:20,520 Speaker 1: just like we're gonna read this one right here, right now. 7 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:24,079 Speaker 1: And you never know, this one could be yours. You 8 00:00:24,239 --> 00:00:27,880 Speaker 1: never know, so buckle up and hold on type. We 9 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:30,040 Speaker 1: got it for you here. It is a Strawberry letter. 10 00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:32,920 Speaker 1: Thank you, nephew. Subjects. I'm here for a good time, 11 00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:36,840 Speaker 1: not a long time, okay, Dear Stephen Shirley. I've been 12 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:40,800 Speaker 1: married for almost fifteen years. And when I met my husband, 13 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:43,239 Speaker 1: I was twenty six and he was thirty seven. He 14 00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:46,720 Speaker 1: was more like a father figure to me then back then, 15 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,400 Speaker 1: because I grew up in a house full of women 16 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:52,520 Speaker 1: that were headstrong and didn't need a man for anything. 17 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:56,120 Speaker 1: I was determined to be different. So the first real 18 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:58,840 Speaker 1: man that offered me a dream life, I jumped at 19 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:02,000 Speaker 1: the opportunity. The fairy tale was real for the first 20 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:05,760 Speaker 1: three years. Reality set in and I started to have 21 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:09,399 Speaker 1: children and he started stepping out on me. I used 22 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:11,399 Speaker 1: to follow him and act a fool on him with 23 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:14,479 Speaker 1: my twins in the back seat. Then it all stopped 24 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:18,520 Speaker 1: when he got an incurable infection and had to tell 25 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,920 Speaker 1: me to go get tested. Thank heavens, I was not 26 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:26,399 Speaker 1: affected or infected by his nastiness. That was almost five 27 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 1: years ago, and that's the last time he touched me. 28 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:34,679 Speaker 1: We've been coexisting in this marriage since then. We sleep 29 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:37,240 Speaker 1: in the same bedroom, but all of his belongings are 30 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:39,840 Speaker 1: in the guest room, and he shares a bathroom with 31 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:43,600 Speaker 1: our twins. They haven't heard us arguing years, so I 32 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:47,680 Speaker 1: hope they're having a happy childhood. The sacrifice was wearing 33 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:50,280 Speaker 1: on me and I needed some good sex and attention 34 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:53,160 Speaker 1: from a man, so I got a boyfriend two years ago. 35 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:56,640 Speaker 1: He's married too, but he's ready to get a divorce. 36 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:00,200 Speaker 1: He is not as complacent as I am, and he's 37 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:03,440 Speaker 1: pressuring me to leave my home and be happy with him. 38 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:05,840 Speaker 1: I have to remind him that we're together for a 39 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:09,360 Speaker 1: good time, not a long time. He said, I'm wasting 40 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:12,600 Speaker 1: my life, and my kids are aware of our dysfunctional marriage. 41 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:15,280 Speaker 1: I know all of the cliches, like the grasses and 42 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:18,480 Speaker 1: greener on the other side. But I've had a great 43 00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:21,840 Speaker 1: time on the other side and the grass was nice. 44 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:24,959 Speaker 1: Would i'd be selfish to leave my marriage and enjoy 45 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:29,400 Speaker 1: my life with my new man? Well, I just got 46 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:33,480 Speaker 1: to say that here we go again. You know you 47 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:36,480 Speaker 1: didn't ask us our opinions two years ago when you 48 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:38,800 Speaker 1: decided to get this boyfriend, or when you were in 49 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:43,520 Speaker 1: this loveless, crazy marriage, But now you're asking should you 50 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,680 Speaker 1: leave your husband for him? I have to tell you 51 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:49,040 Speaker 1: this is not a game. You are still married and 52 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:51,840 Speaker 1: you do have kids. So why didn't you leave your 53 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:54,240 Speaker 1: husband when he first started cheating on you, or when 54 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:58,560 Speaker 1: he brought home that incurable infection that you called it. 55 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:00,480 Speaker 1: I mean that was the time to pick up and 56 00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:03,720 Speaker 1: get out. I mean, now you're so called boyfriend who 57 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:07,239 Speaker 1: is still married, I might add, who is pressuring you 58 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:10,960 Speaker 1: to leave your husband? I mean for what? This arrangement 59 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:14,040 Speaker 1: has been working for you guys for years, which in 60 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:17,239 Speaker 1: and of itself is crazy. But I say, if you're 61 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:20,880 Speaker 1: gonna leave, please don't do it for this boyfriend. I mean, 62 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:25,120 Speaker 1: leave your husband and your marriage because it's run its course, 63 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:28,240 Speaker 1: or because you don't love your husband anymore and you 64 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:31,400 Speaker 1: want out. Those are the reasons you know you would 65 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:34,000 Speaker 1: leave because he's been cheating on you, because he brought 66 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:37,720 Speaker 1: home and incurable infection to you, not because your boyfriend 67 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:41,040 Speaker 1: is pressuring you and you got to think about it. 68 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:43,760 Speaker 1: Like your husband, your new man is also a cheater, 69 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:47,120 Speaker 1: and chances are he will cheat on you too. Remember 70 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:50,480 Speaker 1: he's cheating with you right now. So in other words, 71 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:54,839 Speaker 1: you're not even leaving your husband for something better. This 72 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:59,760 Speaker 1: is just a different type cheating situation. You need to 73 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:01,920 Speaker 1: think this one through a lot more before you make 74 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:05,400 Speaker 1: any major decisions. I do know your marriage isn't working, 75 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:08,600 Speaker 1: but you need to think about this before you make 76 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:16,360 Speaker 1: any major moves like you're thinking about Steve. Letting me 77 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:23,839 Speaker 1: start my letter by laughing, I have a totally different 78 00:04:23,839 --> 00:04:27,920 Speaker 1: perspective here. I'm going to share it with you and 79 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:31,200 Speaker 1: why I feel this way. I'm not here for a 80 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:34,719 Speaker 1: good time. I'm here for excuse me, I'm here for 81 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:37,919 Speaker 1: a good time, not a long time. Well, lady, you 82 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:40,400 Speaker 1: wrote this letter and this yeor title. But I think 83 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,039 Speaker 1: you need to me thank all this, I really really do, 84 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:46,960 Speaker 1: because I've got to. Let's just deal with the facts. 85 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:51,240 Speaker 1: You've been married for almost fifteen years, you was twenty 86 00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:53,919 Speaker 1: six year Hunds was twenty seven. That's eleven years older 87 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:59,760 Speaker 1: than you. So right now at fifteen years, that makes 88 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:03,560 Speaker 1: your husband fifty two and that makes her forty one, 89 00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:08,520 Speaker 1: correct or do I have that right? Yeah, forty one 90 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:13,320 Speaker 1: fifty two, that's right. Yeah, you've grown now. He was 91 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,479 Speaker 1: more like a father figured to you. Back then. He 92 00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:17,640 Speaker 1: knew more than you. You grew up in the house 93 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,720 Speaker 1: of headstrong women and all that didn't act like they 94 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,279 Speaker 1: didn't need a man, and you wanted to be different. 95 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:24,880 Speaker 1: So the first real man you met that offered you 96 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:28,719 Speaker 1: a dream life, you jumped out the opportunity and Lord 97 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:33,479 Speaker 1: ha Mercy. Their fairy tale was born. Oh here it 98 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:43,159 Speaker 1: is Cinderella. You know, the slipper, snow white Rapunzel all 99 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:48,479 Speaker 1: over humped it dumping. Your man had a little name 100 00:05:50,279 --> 00:05:56,159 Speaker 1: fairy Tale. Nita Baker one of my favorite songs, fairy Tale, 101 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:59,559 Speaker 1: Lord Hammers the piano solo in that. If you got time, 102 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:03,800 Speaker 1: look up Anita Banker's fairy Tale, one of my favorite 103 00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:06,279 Speaker 1: need to Banker songs, and listen to the long version 104 00:06:06,279 --> 00:06:09,200 Speaker 1: with that piano solo winning Lord Have Mercy. It's worth 105 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:12,280 Speaker 1: a listen. Soul teacher. Steve Harvey just took him over 106 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:18,120 Speaker 1: the ship. Then reality set in. I started to have 107 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:22,240 Speaker 1: children and he started stepping out on me. Used to 108 00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:24,039 Speaker 1: follow him in act the food with the twins in 109 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:29,040 Speaker 1: the backseat. It all stopped when he got an incurable 110 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:32,719 Speaker 1: infection and had to tell me to go get tested. 111 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:38,000 Speaker 1: This is where we must stop. Yeah at incurable infection. 112 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:44,760 Speaker 1: You as part two of Steve's responses coming up. It's 113 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:47,120 Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour of the subject for 114 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:50,040 Speaker 1: today's Strawberry Letter, I'm here for a good time, not 115 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,600 Speaker 1: a long time. We'll get back into it right after this. 116 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:57,680 Speaker 1: You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, Steve, come on, 117 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:01,120 Speaker 1: let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject I'm here for 118 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:04,400 Speaker 1: a good time, not a long time. I'm gonna do 119 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:07,200 Speaker 1: a recap, but it's gonna be a quick one. Twenty 120 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:09,279 Speaker 1: six year old girl marriage the thirty seven year old 121 00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:11,240 Speaker 1: man who's more like a father figure. She grew up 122 00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:13,720 Speaker 1: in a house full of women and they were all headstrong, 123 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:15,960 Speaker 1: and she was determined to have a different life. The 124 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:19,160 Speaker 1: first real man came along treated the good She jumped 125 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:22,560 Speaker 1: out the opportunity and it was a fairytale marriage. It 126 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:25,640 Speaker 1: all worked out just fine. It was going great up 127 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:29,600 Speaker 1: into three years, and then she had babies, and then 128 00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:32,560 Speaker 1: she had twins, and then he started cheating on a 129 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:35,120 Speaker 1: stepping out. She used to follow him with them twins 130 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:39,040 Speaker 1: in the back seat, and at a food it all stopped. 131 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:41,120 Speaker 1: And this is where we stopped at this latter of 132 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:44,920 Speaker 1: last time. It all stopped when he got an incurable 133 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:48,080 Speaker 1: infection and had to tell me to go get tested. 134 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:55,840 Speaker 1: Thank heavens, I was not affected or infected by his nastiness. 135 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,679 Speaker 1: That was five years ago, and that was the last 136 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:07,600 Speaker 1: time he touched me. Hallelujah. This is where the letter 137 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:12,440 Speaker 1: took the turn that I needed it too. Once you 138 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:16,720 Speaker 1: come home and you tell me I got to go 139 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:23,720 Speaker 1: get tested, once you say that all bets is off, 140 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:28,680 Speaker 1: Once you come in that damn house and you tell 141 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:31,920 Speaker 1: me that I got to go get tested, and I 142 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:36,920 Speaker 1: know what you're talking about, all bets is off. But 143 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:40,800 Speaker 1: now you're about your ass in here with the one 144 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:44,240 Speaker 1: thing that they ain't got no damn cure for what. 145 00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:51,000 Speaker 1: Now you'd have told me this. I really don't know 146 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:54,480 Speaker 1: what my reaction gonna be, but let's thank god that 147 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:58,800 Speaker 1: times are changing with this that people have opportunity to 148 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:01,680 Speaker 1: live long, healthy life lives now, So let's let's thank 149 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:06,280 Speaker 1: God for that, right, so appreciate that. But now, that's 150 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:08,200 Speaker 1: the last time he touched you. I know, didna hear 151 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,200 Speaker 1: where it is? Because if I go down here, I 152 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:13,920 Speaker 1: get tested, I'm clear clean. That's God's grace in my life. 153 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:17,480 Speaker 1: What you're not touch me I hit the way. I'm 154 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:20,160 Speaker 1: shocked at. That was almost five years ago. That's last 155 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:23,560 Speaker 1: time it touched me. We've been coexisting in this marriage. 156 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:26,640 Speaker 1: That's not gonna happen. This is old which but you've 157 00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:29,920 Speaker 1: been't take your nasty ass somewhere else. We've been coexisting 158 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:33,080 Speaker 1: in this marriage since then. We sleep in the same bedroom. 159 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:37,800 Speaker 1: What didn't you tell me I had to go get tested? 160 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,120 Speaker 1: Why are you and I are sleeping in the same 161 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:46,760 Speaker 1: bed for what you been? You're told had not hit 162 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:52,120 Speaker 1: the back of my leg? This how disconnected we are. 163 00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:57,680 Speaker 1: Your hand can't sketch scrape across my back, not sending 164 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:01,400 Speaker 1: all his as long as I'm in the guest room 165 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:05,040 Speaker 1: and he shares a bathroom without twins. They haven't heard 166 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,080 Speaker 1: us all getting years, So I hope they're having a 167 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:11,240 Speaker 1: happy childhood. Well, they probably are. The sacrifice was wearing 168 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:13,720 Speaker 1: on me. And here's the part where I agree with 169 00:10:14,559 --> 00:10:17,360 Speaker 1: I needed some good sex and attention from a man. Well, 170 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,360 Speaker 1: I don't agree with that part, but I do agree 171 00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:22,160 Speaker 1: with you I needed some good sex and attention. I 172 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:26,800 Speaker 1: agree with that one one hundred percent. So I got 173 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:31,480 Speaker 1: a boyfriend two years ago. He's married too, but he's 174 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:34,520 Speaker 1: ready to get a divorce. Now I understand what happened here. 175 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:38,640 Speaker 1: You're in a bad situation, you still have a feelings, 176 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:45,080 Speaker 1: and so you stepped out. I understand that. And you 177 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:50,040 Speaker 1: stepped out with a married man, which leads me to 178 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:56,080 Speaker 1: something that somebody told me one time. What he said, facts, 179 00:10:56,200 --> 00:11:01,200 Speaker 1: change ain't no robbery. I'm taking something that be lone 180 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:03,839 Speaker 1: a somebody else, and you're giving me something that be 181 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:09,199 Speaker 1: lone a somebody else. That exchange is not a robbery. 182 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:11,280 Speaker 1: So now this man is ready to get a divorce, 183 00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:13,760 Speaker 1: and he's not complacent as I am, and he's pressing 184 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,880 Speaker 1: me to leave my home and be happy with him. 185 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,120 Speaker 1: I have to remind him that we're together for a 186 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:22,480 Speaker 1: good time, not a long time. Well, what is your 187 00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:26,640 Speaker 1: plan though you're not having a relationship with your husband 188 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:30,080 Speaker 1: who came in and gave you an incurable disease, and 189 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,840 Speaker 1: this is the one you're having a relationship with, He said, 190 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:35,000 Speaker 1: I'm wasting my life and my kids aware of our 191 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:38,920 Speaker 1: dysfunctional marriage. They probably are. I know all the cliches, 192 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:41,920 Speaker 1: like the grass isn't greener on the other side. Well 193 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:46,760 Speaker 1: that's not true. The grass is greener wherever you water 194 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:51,560 Speaker 1: in it. You water in the other side of the fence, 195 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:56,040 Speaker 1: so it is greener over there because that's where you're 196 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:59,360 Speaker 1: water in it. Y'all ain't got no water in y'all marriage. 197 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:01,120 Speaker 1: He already on that share in the bad room with 198 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:05,640 Speaker 1: the twins. Daddy, you stay, you know, stuff like that 199 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:08,760 Speaker 1: getting said up the hallway, so you know what I'm saying. 200 00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:12,880 Speaker 1: But I've had a great time on the other side, 201 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:16,400 Speaker 1: and the grass was nice because that's where you watered. It. 202 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:19,760 Speaker 1: Would I be selfish to leave my marriage and enjoy 203 00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:23,200 Speaker 1: my life with my new man. What's selfish? Isn't you 204 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:25,760 Speaker 1: have an incuble disease that a man gave you five 205 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:29,439 Speaker 1: years ago? Y'all have no relationship whatsoever. Y'all don't argue 206 00:12:29,559 --> 00:12:32,600 Speaker 1: because he can't believe you're letting him stay there. You 207 00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:36,200 Speaker 1: have a chance and happiness. I personally would take that chance. 208 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,960 Speaker 1: I jump on it. I take a shot at happen. 209 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:43,160 Speaker 1: I'd at least get I get my husband. I don't 210 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:47,920 Speaker 1: see why not with that guy that he wants a divorce. 211 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:52,599 Speaker 1: All right, we got up. Please me and you do 212 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:56,000 Speaker 1: the strawberry and letter so people can see both sides 213 00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:59,679 Speaker 1: exactly why we do the strawberry, Let him leave and 214 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:06,040 Speaker 1: then okay, please leave us your comments on today's letter 215 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:10,000 Speaker 1: on Instagram and Steve Harvey FM and check out the 216 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:13,360 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Up next, it is Junior 217 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:17,199 Speaker 1: and Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to the 218 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:18,800 Speaker 1: Dame Harvey Morning Show.