1 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:04,680 Speaker 1: Ruby. 2 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:12,160 Speaker 2: Hi, I'm Leah pel Mary and I'm Matt Stillow and welcome. 3 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:12,760 Speaker 3: To grown up stuff. 4 00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:17,000 Speaker 2: Matt, I've come to the end of the season. 5 00:00:17,079 --> 00:00:20,600 Speaker 1: I know, I know, say it ain't so it's so 6 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:24,239 Speaker 1: sad because I feel like I've learned so much this 7 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:25,840 Speaker 1: latter half of the season. 8 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:29,160 Speaker 2: So much, and I think that you've done a better job. 9 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,360 Speaker 2: I'm going to say this right off the bat. You've 10 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:33,920 Speaker 2: done a better job of actually implementing the things that 11 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:36,519 Speaker 2: we've learned, whereas I've done a really good job of 12 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,080 Speaker 2: learning them and then just thinking about them but not 13 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:41,120 Speaker 2: actually implementing them into my life. 14 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:44,279 Speaker 1: But like feeling superior than most people because you know. 15 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:47,199 Speaker 2: That always always, you know this about me always. 16 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:48,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, But I mean I got to say, like, not 17 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,400 Speaker 1: only have I implemented, I've been like berating my friends 18 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:52,199 Speaker 1: into joining me. 19 00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:55,640 Speaker 2: Oh, you know, implementing and bullying. 20 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:57,960 Speaker 1: And bullying yeah, yeah, both of them. I've been showing 21 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:00,120 Speaker 1: basically everyone who will talk to me about like the 22 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:02,560 Speaker 1: phone stuff, because I've implemented so much from our anti 23 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:06,240 Speaker 1: phone episode nine I phone, but our you know, maybe 24 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,160 Speaker 1: it was an antiphone episode, but are just lessening with 25 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:10,640 Speaker 1: the impact of a phone in Our Lives episode, I 26 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:13,440 Speaker 1: don't have any apps on my home screen. I use 27 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:16,280 Speaker 1: this brick application that basically like makes my phone sort 28 00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:19,720 Speaker 1: of useless come bedtime, and people have been really intrigued 29 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:21,680 Speaker 1: by it, and I've actually challenged one of my friends 30 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:23,640 Speaker 1: to like try out getting rid of all their homescreen 31 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:25,760 Speaker 1: apps and maybe using this app, And a lot of 32 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:28,160 Speaker 1: people really have said it's brought a lot back into 33 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:31,120 Speaker 1: their lives, which was our expert Catherine was. Her entire 34 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:34,440 Speaker 1: point was replace phone time with things that you miss 35 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:36,319 Speaker 1: about your life, and it's bitterally really positive. 36 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:37,280 Speaker 2: That's amazing. 37 00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:40,520 Speaker 1: Nothing on your end though, just knowing and not doing well. 38 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:41,240 Speaker 3: As you mentioned. 39 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:45,080 Speaker 2: We spoke with author, journalists and speaker Catherine Price about 40 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:47,240 Speaker 2: this and she had a lot of amazing tips. 41 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:49,800 Speaker 3: So what I would say is, I have. 42 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:54,520 Speaker 2: Any algorithm has clocked this pun intended. I thought very 43 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:57,080 Speaker 2: much about buying an alarm clock so that I don't 44 00:01:57,080 --> 00:02:02,840 Speaker 2: need my phone, But unlike you, I have instead continued 45 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:05,920 Speaker 2: to scroll in bed and not made my phone useless, 46 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:07,200 Speaker 2: but made me useless. 47 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,359 Speaker 3: So I have not. 48 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:12,080 Speaker 2: Implemented in the way that Catherine would be proud of me. 49 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:15,080 Speaker 2: But you know what we are all learning, growing and 50 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:17,520 Speaker 2: evolving adults, and so there's still time for. 51 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:18,119 Speaker 3: Me to get there. 52 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 1: And as most of the experts that we've had on 53 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:25,040 Speaker 1: the show would say, is there's no shame, there's no blame. 54 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:28,040 Speaker 1: There's only taking steps in the right direction, one step 55 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:31,120 Speaker 1: at a time, and for you, I think knowing is 56 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:31,919 Speaker 1: a good first step. 57 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:35,200 Speaker 2: Thank you so much. As the Internet likes to say, 58 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,800 Speaker 2: we listen and we don't judge, but I do judge. 59 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:38,600 Speaker 3: I judge myself. 60 00:02:38,639 --> 00:02:40,160 Speaker 1: Just to be clear, I do judge. Okay, well we 61 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:42,640 Speaker 1: don't we certainly, we're all so proud of you. But 62 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:46,480 Speaker 1: without further ado, today we're talking about our favorite moments 63 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,640 Speaker 1: throughout the latter half of the season. We're going to 64 00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:50,960 Speaker 1: be playing a couple of clips from each episode and 65 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,000 Speaker 1: really talking about how they may or may not have 66 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:56,239 Speaker 1: impacted our lives exactly. 67 00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:56,920 Speaker 4: That we. 68 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:05,880 Speaker 3: Should. 69 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:08,880 Speaker 2: We kick it off with Catherine Price, who was the 70 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:12,280 Speaker 2: first guest for the latter half of this season, and 71 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:15,359 Speaker 2: she is going to help us learn how to minimize 72 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:18,200 Speaker 2: our screen time and listen up for everybody who is 73 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:21,960 Speaker 2: on the map path who is really going to implement 74 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,119 Speaker 2: this into their lives. And then if you're on the leapath, 75 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,480 Speaker 2: you're going to think about it sometimes, let's do it. 76 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:30,480 Speaker 5: I don't feel like I have a relationship with my laptop. 77 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:32,000 Speaker 5: I don't feel like I have a relationship with the 78 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:34,520 Speaker 5: microphone I'm using to talk to you guys, but I 79 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:37,520 Speaker 5: do have a relationship with my phone. And so that 80 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:39,440 Speaker 5: led to me thinking, wouldn't it be interesting to just 81 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,320 Speaker 5: ask people to write an actual breakup note to their phone? 82 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:45,120 Speaker 5: And what I discovered when people did that is they started, 83 00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:47,960 Speaker 5: you know, with this kind of playful tone, but often 84 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 5: their notes got very deep and vulnerable and profound really quickly. 85 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:55,200 Speaker 5: There was something about fully embodying the idea that you 86 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:57,160 Speaker 5: are in a relationship with the phone and you need 87 00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:00,400 Speaker 5: to break up with it that led people to express 88 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,760 Speaker 5: themselves in ways that I don't think that they would 89 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:04,600 Speaker 5: have if I just said, give me a bullet pointed 90 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:06,920 Speaker 5: list of five reasons you want to cut back on 91 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:09,400 Speaker 5: your screen time for anyone listening, If you just want 92 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:11,240 Speaker 5: to play around with any of these ideas, you might 93 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:13,480 Speaker 5: want to just like, instead of scrolling through your phone 94 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:15,280 Speaker 5: tonight before bed, put it in the other room, and 95 00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:17,640 Speaker 5: then spend ten minutes writing a breakup note to your phone. 96 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:20,120 Speaker 5: And ask yourself things like what do you love about 97 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:22,040 Speaker 5: your relationship with your phone? Why did you get in 98 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:24,280 Speaker 5: a relationship with your phone to begin with? When does 99 00:04:24,279 --> 00:04:27,240 Speaker 5: it feel good? But then also like what's annoying about 100 00:04:27,279 --> 00:04:29,640 Speaker 5: your phone? What makes you mad about your phone? What 101 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:32,000 Speaker 5: has your phone done to you? Your phone hopefully will 102 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,520 Speaker 5: never read this letter, so you don't have to worry 103 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:36,720 Speaker 5: about its feelings. Our phones are deliberately packed with dope 104 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:39,000 Speaker 5: imine triggers to get us to want to spend time 105 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:41,839 Speaker 5: on our phones. You can fight back by doing things 106 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:44,280 Speaker 5: like adjust your settings so it's really easy to toggle 107 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:46,479 Speaker 5: between black and white and color. You don't want to 108 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:47,719 Speaker 5: have to go into the settings to do that. You 109 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:49,200 Speaker 5: want to make it easy where you just hit the 110 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,640 Speaker 5: side button three times and it will go back and forth. 111 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:53,640 Speaker 1: Experiment with that for a couple days. 112 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:56,000 Speaker 5: It is amazing how much less appealing the screen is 113 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:58,360 Speaker 5: if it's in black and white. Also clean up your 114 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,440 Speaker 5: home screen, you know, like most people just have all 115 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:03,920 Speaker 5: their apps on their home screen in the order in 116 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:06,360 Speaker 5: which they were downloaded and in the order in which 117 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,359 Speaker 5: they just happened to appear when you got your phone. 118 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:11,039 Speaker 5: You have control over that, so my home screen on 119 00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:14,960 Speaker 5: my phone is actually entirely empty. I want anything on it, Yeah, 120 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,640 Speaker 5: I just have there's the app library, and then if 121 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:19,839 Speaker 5: I want to open an app, I just pull down 122 00:05:19,839 --> 00:05:21,920 Speaker 5: the search bar and I search for the app. And 123 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:25,080 Speaker 5: going back to Matt your point about mindfulness, it's because 124 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:27,279 Speaker 5: I want to be intentional about using an app. I 125 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:30,320 Speaker 5: want to open the app because I had a thought, Oh, 126 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:33,000 Speaker 5: I want to do X on my phone, and so 127 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:35,040 Speaker 5: I'm opening the app to do that. I don't want 128 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,360 Speaker 5: to have it be Oh. I just am kind of 129 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:38,920 Speaker 5: like looking for something to do in this moment, and 130 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,960 Speaker 5: I turned to my phone and there's the Instagram icon 131 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:43,440 Speaker 5: or whatever it is. Make your phone boring is basically 132 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:44,240 Speaker 5: the message here. 133 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:49,280 Speaker 2: Okay, Matt, so what are you thinking? How has your 134 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:53,560 Speaker 2: relationship with your phone changed since we spoke with Catherine. 135 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:56,120 Speaker 1: I love the piece that she has about mindfulness because 136 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:59,000 Speaker 1: I really do feel like, even before we talked with Catherine, 137 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:01,599 Speaker 1: I've been trying over the last year or so to 138 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 1: be more mindful with my phone. And you know, sometimes 139 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:05,680 Speaker 1: I'm on the subway in New York and I'll just 140 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:08,160 Speaker 1: look up and I'm just seeing everyone's staring into their 141 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,320 Speaker 1: phone and it's all fine, you know, it's not like 142 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:12,520 Speaker 1: everyone on the subway knows each other. But part of 143 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:14,480 Speaker 1: me like has this thought, like what are we missing 144 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:17,880 Speaker 1: by just being so sucked into the phone? Are we 145 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,560 Speaker 1: missing community? Are we missing our friends, our family? The 146 00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:23,039 Speaker 1: things that we enjoy doing? And so I really took 147 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:25,040 Speaker 1: what she said to heart, and I think that I've 148 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:26,719 Speaker 1: been examining my relationship with a lot of things in 149 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,320 Speaker 1: my life, and I do think that overwhelmingly the phone 150 00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:31,920 Speaker 1: was bringing negative things into my life. I had news 151 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:36,159 Speaker 1: notifications blasting me at all hours of the day, getting 152 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:38,360 Speaker 1: stressed out about things that I have no control over, 153 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:41,680 Speaker 1: spending too much time on social media. That really, like, 154 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:43,599 Speaker 1: I was just thinking, like is this bringing me joy? 155 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:46,279 Speaker 1: Do I enjoy this? I've been posting on social media 156 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:49,080 Speaker 1: less and being on social media lesson and yeah, I've 157 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:51,760 Speaker 1: been reading more and going out into the world more 158 00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:54,560 Speaker 1: and hanging out with my friends more. And it's difficult 159 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,800 Speaker 1: because I think in this society everyone is just like 160 00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:59,320 Speaker 1: is it real unless it happens on the internet, unless 161 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:03,200 Speaker 1: you're posting about it. And maybe they're right and I'm wrong, 162 00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:05,839 Speaker 1: but I just feel like, personally, I've gotten so much 163 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:09,040 Speaker 1: more back by giving myself more time and my phone 164 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:10,920 Speaker 1: less time. What do you think about that? 165 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:11,640 Speaker 3: That's what matters. 166 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:14,040 Speaker 2: I just have this vision of you in my mind 167 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:17,880 Speaker 2: entering the subway, no phone and just like shaking hands 168 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,360 Speaker 2: with everybody and greeting everybody in the subway car because 169 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:22,400 Speaker 2: you're like, I'm not going to look at my phone today, 170 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:25,360 Speaker 2: which you'll make some new friends and some frenemies, I 171 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:26,920 Speaker 2: would say, but more power too. 172 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:27,840 Speaker 3: I'm very proud of you. 173 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:32,040 Speaker 2: I feel the moment when I know that dopamine is 174 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:34,320 Speaker 2: kicking in where I know like, okay, this is just 175 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:36,440 Speaker 2: giving my brain those chemicals of like. 176 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:40,200 Speaker 3: Do I have likes? And I also know exactly. 177 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:41,800 Speaker 2: The moment when I've just been scrolling for way too 178 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:44,600 Speaker 2: long when my brain is like can you stop? And 179 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,280 Speaker 2: so I've been trying to just pay better attention to 180 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:50,360 Speaker 2: that moment and also not even get to that moment 181 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:54,600 Speaker 2: so that I'm not having those brain chemicals good and 182 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:58,360 Speaker 2: bad mess up my sleep, my day, my mood, all 183 00:07:58,400 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 2: of it. 184 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:00,720 Speaker 1: That takes me back to the mindful. I think it's 185 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:02,680 Speaker 1: just great that you're aware of it. I've had those 186 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:04,239 Speaker 1: moments in my life too, where I feel it's almost 187 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:06,880 Speaker 1: like a control thing. It's like, I have this urge, 188 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,760 Speaker 1: this desire to want to do something, and I'm like, 189 00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:12,320 Speaker 1: why do I so feel this way? And as Catherine 190 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:14,680 Speaker 1: talked about it, they make the phones that way, you know, 191 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:17,560 Speaker 1: they build all these dopamine addictive tools into them, and 192 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:19,360 Speaker 1: that's why we feel that way. So even just that 193 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,280 Speaker 1: first step of mindfulness is really great. 194 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:22,000 Speaker 3: You know, Matt. 195 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:25,360 Speaker 2: I think for you, being able to separate yourself from 196 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:27,320 Speaker 2: your phone more is something that you should add to 197 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:28,239 Speaker 2: your YA folder. 198 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:32,440 Speaker 1: I should, And we're going to learn a lot about 199 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:35,520 Speaker 1: the YA folder because this next episode we're going to 200 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:38,040 Speaker 1: hear from Jessica Chen, who's a world renowned author of 201 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:40,120 Speaker 1: the book Smart Not Loud, How to Get Noticed at 202 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:43,320 Speaker 1: Work for all the Right reasons, and who travels around 203 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:45,880 Speaker 1: the world talking to executives about how they can more 204 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:48,839 Speaker 1: effectively communicate. And we wanted to talk to her because 205 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:50,680 Speaker 1: we thought it was really important to have an episode 206 00:08:50,679 --> 00:08:53,839 Speaker 1: about advocating for yourself at work. I think there's actually 207 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:55,439 Speaker 1: just a New York Times article the other day talking 208 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,959 Speaker 1: about job hugging or in this period of work where 209 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,080 Speaker 1: the job market can be really really tough. Yes, And 210 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:01,880 Speaker 1: I think that that can actually that and a lot 211 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:06,280 Speaker 1: of other things can intimidate people against speaking out about themselves, 212 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:09,000 Speaker 1: their accomplishments, what they want, maybe getting a raise, and 213 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:11,120 Speaker 1: so we really wanted to talk about how to sort 214 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:14,160 Speaker 1: of reclaim that power and advocate for yourself in the workplace. 215 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:17,319 Speaker 2: The thing about Jessica is that she not only had 216 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:20,400 Speaker 2: amazing tips, but she also has amazing energy. And when 217 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:23,120 Speaker 2: we left that conversation, I really felt like I could 218 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:24,760 Speaker 2: run through a wall. I was like, I could do 219 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:27,160 Speaker 2: anything right now. Instead of running through a wall, I'm 220 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:29,040 Speaker 2: going to advocate for myself at work and put together 221 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,120 Speaker 2: my AA folder and put together a nice document of 222 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:33,839 Speaker 2: my wins and my accomplishments and the things I'm really 223 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:36,520 Speaker 2: proud of myself for. But she just made me feel 224 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:40,560 Speaker 2: so empowered and so capable. And some of the things 225 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:44,480 Speaker 2: that she mentioned were I don't want to say obvious, 226 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:46,160 Speaker 2: but it's stuff that we like know and you just 227 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:48,880 Speaker 2: need somebody, like a nice friend to nudge you and 228 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,000 Speaker 2: remind you that you are that girl. 229 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,679 Speaker 1: It's so true. I just remember feeling kind of like alone, 230 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,120 Speaker 1: especially in my first few big boy jobs in New 231 00:09:57,200 --> 00:10:00,679 Speaker 1: York City, Like you know, just navigating difficult bosses and 232 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:04,080 Speaker 1: employee relationships and feeling like I was just happy to 233 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:07,120 Speaker 1: be there and like I'll take whatever abuse possible. You know, 234 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:09,720 Speaker 1: it's not right. And I think that having that friend, 235 00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:11,640 Speaker 1: as you spoke about, someone who can just tell you 236 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:15,360 Speaker 1: you're valuable. Yeah, you're there for a reason, and tabulating 237 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:17,160 Speaker 1: that value that you bring to the company and really 238 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,439 Speaker 1: advocating for yourself is just the best step forward. It's 239 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,520 Speaker 1: going to get you far ahead in your career than 240 00:10:21,559 --> 00:10:23,720 Speaker 1: if you were to stay quiet. And so I'm looking 241 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,880 Speaker 1: forward to a couple of our favorite quotes from Jessica. 242 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:27,480 Speaker 2: That's correct and you know what this one is for 243 00:10:27,559 --> 00:10:30,040 Speaker 2: you people pleasers, So enjoy some tips on how to 244 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,000 Speaker 2: advocate for yourself at work with Jessica Chen. 245 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:35,920 Speaker 6: Go into your inbox and create a folder and call 246 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:39,960 Speaker 6: it your yay folder. And anytime you do some amazing 247 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:44,400 Speaker 6: work somebody says great job, congratulations, you secured that deal 248 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:47,079 Speaker 6: or whatever. Right, you take that email and you drag 249 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:50,160 Speaker 6: it into this yay folder so that when you know 250 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:53,480 Speaker 6: performance review comms or when you are now asking for 251 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:57,240 Speaker 6: what you want, you have evidence and documentation of the 252 00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:00,760 Speaker 6: amazing work that you're doing, which gives you more ability 253 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:01,800 Speaker 6: to ask for. 254 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:02,800 Speaker 3: What you want. 255 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:07,040 Speaker 6: When people tend to feel very intimidated about speaking up, 256 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:09,880 Speaker 6: I tend to say, if you can speak up earlier 257 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:12,720 Speaker 6: in a meeting, it's better than speaking up later. And 258 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:15,120 Speaker 6: the reason why is because oftentimes, when we sit in 259 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:18,240 Speaker 6: this meeting, five minutes go by, ten minutes go by, 260 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,760 Speaker 6: fifteen minutes go by, and all of a sudden, the 261 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,760 Speaker 6: meeting's over and you never said a thing. There's something 262 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:27,840 Speaker 6: really powerful about being early and saying something. And again, 263 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:31,640 Speaker 6: it doesn't have to be that brilliant fireworks of an idea. 264 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:34,160 Speaker 6: It can be just you saying something. But the idea 265 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:36,800 Speaker 6: is using your voice early in a meeting gets you 266 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:39,440 Speaker 6: comfortable to use it later on in a meeting. So 267 00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:42,000 Speaker 6: I think that's a huge barrier that once we can 268 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:44,920 Speaker 6: overcome that early on, it makes it easier to then 269 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,320 Speaker 6: kind of be and feel like you're a part of 270 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:48,120 Speaker 6: the conversation. 271 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:52,040 Speaker 2: Matt, you love a meeting because you know what, You're 272 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:54,320 Speaker 2: so social and you have so many friends, and so 273 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:56,880 Speaker 2: I know you walk into every room and you're just like, hello, 274 00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:57,440 Speaker 2: my people. 275 00:11:57,880 --> 00:11:59,600 Speaker 1: Yes, I actually think I need to learn the value 276 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,640 Speaker 1: of showing at the beginning of a meeting, sometimes I'll 277 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:04,640 Speaker 1: just start talking. But I do think it's a really 278 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,080 Speaker 1: great point that, especially when you're new, right when you're 279 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:08,640 Speaker 1: in a new environment, you've got a new boss and 280 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:12,720 Speaker 1: new coworkers, it can be really difficult to say your mind, 281 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,840 Speaker 1: you're not really sure what the culture is or whatever. 282 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,600 Speaker 1: You don't want to have a foot and mouth moment. 283 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:19,480 Speaker 1: But I think it's really like negating why you're there 284 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:21,360 Speaker 1: in the first place. Right, the company hired you because 285 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,400 Speaker 1: you do bring value, you do have a skill set, 286 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:25,760 Speaker 1: and sometimes it takes a few bad ideas out the 287 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:28,559 Speaker 1: gate to get towards a good idea. And sometimes I 288 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:31,360 Speaker 1: actually think that being vulnerable in front of people you 289 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:33,960 Speaker 1: work with is a really human moment and can bring 290 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:37,720 Speaker 1: people closer together. But more than anything, I think that 291 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,960 Speaker 1: in the days and weeks, it can be like, oh, yeah, 292 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,280 Speaker 1: I did that this week, I did that this week. 293 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:43,559 Speaker 1: But in the months and years it can get like unwieldy, 294 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:45,520 Speaker 1: like things that you accomplished or things that you did. 295 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:49,920 Speaker 1: Sometimes I'll look back on my YA folder and be like, oh, right, 296 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:53,640 Speaker 1: I totally forgot about all of these things. And so 297 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:55,560 Speaker 1: if it's been two years or three years since you've 298 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:58,360 Speaker 1: gotten a raizor of promotion, Having that YAE folder to 299 00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:00,920 Speaker 1: look back on on all the things you accomplished is 300 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:05,000 Speaker 1: super super important because that all becomes fodder for the 301 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:07,040 Speaker 1: argument that you make to get a raise or to 302 00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:09,679 Speaker 1: get a promotion. So I just think it's a brilliant 303 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:12,120 Speaker 1: thing that everyone should be doing, keeping little notes and 304 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:13,439 Speaker 1: tabs on all the accomplishments. 305 00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:16,199 Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know what, no task is actually too small. 306 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:19,640 Speaker 2: Like yesterday I wrote a killer Instagram caption for work, 307 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:21,640 Speaker 2: and I was like, I gotta remember to add this 308 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:23,640 Speaker 2: to my ya folder because I actually am very proud 309 00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:26,320 Speaker 2: of myself for this copywriting that I just did write here. 310 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:28,560 Speaker 3: So like, there are absolutely. 311 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:31,960 Speaker 2: Ways to look at even small tasks from different angles 312 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,439 Speaker 2: and feel really proud of yourself and feel like it's 313 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:38,920 Speaker 2: feeding your soul. But when it comes to feeding your body, Matt, 314 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:40,240 Speaker 2: what do we have up next? 315 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:43,400 Speaker 1: Those are great transitions. I also just wanted to say, 316 00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:45,880 Speaker 1: sometimes the small things can get overlooked. But like put 317 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:48,200 Speaker 1: you in charge of like social but they don't realize 318 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,800 Speaker 1: that not only that means that you're like curating posts, 319 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:53,160 Speaker 1: but like you have to be a copywriter too, you 320 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,400 Speaker 1: know what I mean? And I think a lot of 321 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,959 Speaker 1: people will like overlook that, and so to even make 322 00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:58,880 Speaker 1: notes of the small things that you're doing and the 323 00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:02,160 Speaker 1: big things have this cumulative effect of just how powerful 324 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,360 Speaker 1: you are as a worker. But yes, speaking of feeding 325 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:07,040 Speaker 1: your body, that's right. For our next episode, we talked 326 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:10,240 Speaker 1: to registered dietitian nutritionists, which we learned a lot about 327 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:13,120 Speaker 1: those roles and what makes them up. We talked to 328 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:16,720 Speaker 1: Melissa Joy Dobbins, who is the host of the sound 329 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:20,440 Speaker 1: Bites podcast, about one of my favorite topics that is 330 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:22,520 Speaker 1: much debated about online nutrition. 331 00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:26,400 Speaker 2: You were very excited about this one, and you knew 332 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:29,200 Speaker 2: your stuff, but you also came very ready to learn. 333 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:32,640 Speaker 2: And she had some really amazing tips and just like 334 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:36,200 Speaker 2: a different perspective and like really insightful things to share 335 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,960 Speaker 2: with us about all the stuff we're just shoving in 336 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:39,520 Speaker 2: our bodies. 337 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:41,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, let's take a listen to Melissa. 338 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:45,880 Speaker 4: I used to be a supermarket dietitian, so I always 339 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:48,160 Speaker 4: try to get people to take a step back and say, Okay, 340 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:53,560 Speaker 4: this is the food, what are the good nutrients it provides, protein, fiber, vitamins, minerals, 341 00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:55,760 Speaker 4: and what are the nutrients we want to limit, like 342 00:14:56,080 --> 00:15:00,960 Speaker 4: total calories, saturated fat, sodium, and sugar and just kind 343 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:04,200 Speaker 4: of find the best tasting product within those choices as well, 344 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:06,880 Speaker 4: because taste is important. Research shows the taste is a 345 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:10,440 Speaker 4: number one reason that people purchase foods, and we can't 346 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:15,160 Speaker 4: ignore that. Right first, I suggest tracking your intake, piece 347 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:17,240 Speaker 4: of paper and app however you want to do it. 348 00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:20,400 Speaker 4: See where you are, think about what your goals are 349 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:23,760 Speaker 4: and where you think you could make some improvements. Everybody 350 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:27,480 Speaker 4: could do better by getting more produce in any form 351 00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:31,360 Speaker 4: and more fiber. But see where your maybe empty calories are, 352 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,680 Speaker 4: or are you hungry at certain times of the day. 353 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,480 Speaker 4: Do you need to shift some protein earlier in the day. 354 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,880 Speaker 4: What do you want to work on and what do 355 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:42,960 Speaker 4: you think would be a realistic goal for you. Anytime 356 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:46,240 Speaker 4: you do something drastic, it's really hard to maintain that, 357 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:50,920 Speaker 4: and only the changes that are able to be sustainable 358 00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:54,200 Speaker 4: are going to improve your health. And don't try to 359 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:57,640 Speaker 4: make too many changes at once. Just start slow, go slow, 360 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,360 Speaker 4: and maybe work on one thing at a time. I 361 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,920 Speaker 4: will say a lot of people don't know that when 362 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:07,240 Speaker 4: you're looking at that equation of diet and exercise, diet 363 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:11,760 Speaker 4: is the driver for weight loss. Exercise is the driver 364 00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:14,640 Speaker 4: for weight loss and maintenance. So a lot of people 365 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:17,920 Speaker 4: get frustrated. They're like going to the gym, or they're running, 366 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,560 Speaker 4: or they're lifting weights, or they're doing you know, the 367 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:23,800 Speaker 4: strength training, you know whatever, and they're not seeing any 368 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:28,480 Speaker 4: improvements on their weight. Exercise has a lot of wonderful qualities. 369 00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:31,360 Speaker 4: I want people to exercise because it makes them feel better, 370 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:34,160 Speaker 4: It helps them manage stress, it's something fun. I do 371 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:38,400 Speaker 4: karate and ballet personally, Oh, do something fun. But don't 372 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,880 Speaker 4: get discouraged if it's not helping you lose weight. It 373 00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:46,000 Speaker 4: is helping your body composition, it's helping with maintaining muscle 374 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:49,400 Speaker 4: mass and decreasing fat mass. But if you're looking for 375 00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:51,960 Speaker 4: weight loss, it's really looking at where those extra calories 376 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:55,000 Speaker 4: in your diet are coming from. 377 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,640 Speaker 2: Matt, you know, I was actually thinking about Melissa and 378 00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:00,120 Speaker 2: you the other day because it got to dinner time 379 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,360 Speaker 2: and I was like, Oh, what am I going to have? 380 00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:02,840 Speaker 4: Well? 381 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,000 Speaker 3: What did I already eat today? 382 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,919 Speaker 2: And I was like, I am so silly for not 383 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:10,080 Speaker 2: remembering to be keeping track of what I'm eating, because 384 00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:12,720 Speaker 2: then that helps me and shows me to balance out 385 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:14,440 Speaker 2: when it's time for dinner, Like, oh, you know, I 386 00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:16,720 Speaker 2: didn't have a salad today, or like I didn't get 387 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,440 Speaker 2: enough protein today, or maybe I can have a little 388 00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:22,040 Speaker 2: treat after dinner too, because you know what, I've been 389 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:25,080 Speaker 2: really good today. So I think that I've just got 390 00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:27,840 Speaker 2: to be better about tracking what I'm eating throughout the day, 391 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,000 Speaker 2: because who can remember it by five o'clock and then 392 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:35,480 Speaker 2: really helping myself to balance out exactly what I'm ingesting. 393 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm a big tracking person too, But I 394 00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:40,320 Speaker 1: just want to say that I know plenty of people 395 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:43,280 Speaker 1: who are really against calary cunning or tracking their food 396 00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:45,640 Speaker 1: or whatever, and I totally respect, especially for some people 397 00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:48,240 Speaker 1: can be kind of like triggering or make something about 398 00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:50,159 Speaker 1: maybe their parents was something that they wanted them to 399 00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:52,600 Speaker 1: do and made them feel bad about themselves. And what 400 00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:54,920 Speaker 1: I took away from Melissa and what I've taken away 401 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:57,680 Speaker 1: from my own journey is really it's just that awareness. Right, 402 00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:00,040 Speaker 1: If you can bring more awareness to the kind the 403 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:02,240 Speaker 1: foods you're eating, to the ingredients that are in those foods, 404 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:04,800 Speaker 1: that's just the first step of assessing where you're at. 405 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,840 Speaker 1: You know, one thing that I do is I track 406 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,560 Speaker 1: how much I weigh, which, again I think a lot 407 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:13,000 Speaker 1: of people maybe aren't into that, but for me, it's 408 00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:15,520 Speaker 1: just another piece of information. Like yesterday I thought I 409 00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:17,080 Speaker 1: over ate a little bit and you know, stepped on 410 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:19,560 Speaker 1: the scales morning realized I did. And that's just information 411 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,000 Speaker 1: I'm taking with me about thinking about what I'm maybe 412 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:23,680 Speaker 1: gonna eat today. I'm gonna try to be a little 413 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:25,639 Speaker 1: bit better today. My wife has been gone for like 414 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:28,800 Speaker 1: a month, and so she's really really good about making 415 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,159 Speaker 1: sure that we're eating like super healthy, nutritious food and 416 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:32,720 Speaker 1: making sure that I don't work too much. And when 417 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,240 Speaker 1: she's gone, I work too much, and then I don't 418 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,920 Speaker 1: eat good food, and so at work up and eating 419 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,239 Speaker 1: what I like trick myself into thinking is healthy. It's 420 00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:41,800 Speaker 1: like a breakfast burrito. So there's some like potatoes and 421 00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:44,640 Speaker 1: veggies and beans, legumes. Those are really good, but it's 422 00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:47,119 Speaker 1: wrapped in this gigantic tortilla that's like so many carbs. 423 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:50,160 Speaker 1: And so even just having that mindfulness of you know, today, 424 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:51,920 Speaker 1: like I shouldn't be eating so many carbs. I want 425 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:54,439 Speaker 1: to actually eat some more vegetables and some more beans 426 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,480 Speaker 1: and maybe some more protein. So maybe today I'm gonna 427 00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:58,960 Speaker 1: get a salad with some protein that's kind of what 428 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:03,040 Speaker 1: I think about as mine, but some incredible information from Melissa. 429 00:19:03,119 --> 00:19:04,879 Speaker 1: I encourage everyone to go back and listen to her 430 00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:07,680 Speaker 1: episode and just bring a little bit more mindfulness into 431 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:10,200 Speaker 1: what we're putting in our bodies every day, because when 432 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:13,760 Speaker 1: we talk about ultraprocessed foods, how that has infiltrated the 433 00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:16,320 Speaker 1: American diet, and just some tips and tricks on how 434 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:17,040 Speaker 1: to think about those. 435 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:20,439 Speaker 2: I love that you have brought a very data and 436 00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:26,600 Speaker 2: analytical mindset to your nutrition, whereas I have brought yumminess 437 00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:28,119 Speaker 2: only mindset to it. 438 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:34,080 Speaker 3: So I very much applaud you. We'll be right back 439 00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:35,000 Speaker 3: after a quick. 440 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:45,399 Speaker 1: Break, and we're back with more grown up stuff. How 441 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:45,920 Speaker 1: do I don't. 442 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:50,960 Speaker 2: One of the things we didn't really even get into 443 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:54,560 Speaker 2: with Melissa is alcohol, and that is a huge thing 444 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,919 Speaker 2: that affects our bodies in so many ways. 445 00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,280 Speaker 3: But luckily we did. 446 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:02,080 Speaker 2: Dive into it in the next episode where we discussed 447 00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:05,320 Speaker 2: being sober, curious and doing some mindful drinking. So for 448 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:07,520 Speaker 2: this one, we spoke with Derek Brown, who is a 449 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:11,640 Speaker 2: hospitality consultant, a wellness coach, a mindful drinking advocate, and 450 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:16,560 Speaker 2: an author, and he had such amazing things to say, 451 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:19,320 Speaker 2: like he really opened my mind to this in a 452 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:22,359 Speaker 2: way where like, whether you're practicing mindful drinking or not, 453 00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:26,240 Speaker 2: hearing about the benefits is really inspiring and I think 454 00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:28,560 Speaker 2: really motivating if this is something that you do want 455 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:29,200 Speaker 2: to explore. 456 00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:31,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, I've said it before in the show, but so 457 00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:33,399 Speaker 1: much of what we talk about is really just about 458 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:36,879 Speaker 1: awareness and mindfulness. It's another thing where it's not about 459 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:39,560 Speaker 1: necessarily tracking, but like just even kind of like stepping 460 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:41,119 Speaker 1: back and having a moment going how much I've I've 461 00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:43,640 Speaker 1: been drinking this last week, this last day, this last month, 462 00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:45,560 Speaker 1: and has that been a good or bad thing? And 463 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:47,520 Speaker 1: if it's been a good things making you more social, 464 00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:49,680 Speaker 1: you feel like you're going out with friends more, maybe 465 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:53,520 Speaker 1: it's totally fine if you're like keeping it within its limits. 466 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:57,080 Speaker 1: For me, I've had that same approach, just stepping back 467 00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:59,640 Speaker 1: and thinking about my relationship with alcohol, and I've found 468 00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:01,959 Speaker 1: that it's really not bringing that much to it. And 469 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:05,840 Speaker 1: I actually loved what Derek says in this episode about mindfulness. 470 00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:07,680 Speaker 1: And so let's go ahead and listen to a couple 471 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,240 Speaker 1: of our favorite clips in this episode. Great. 472 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:13,879 Speaker 7: In twenty eighteen, Ruby Warrenton wrote a book called sober curious, 473 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:15,920 Speaker 7: which kind of gave us this term, right, and it's 474 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:18,680 Speaker 7: exactly as it sounds. It's not that you are sober 475 00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:20,760 Speaker 7: in the sense that you don't drink alcohol. 476 00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:21,040 Speaker 4: Ever. 477 00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:24,640 Speaker 7: Again, it's somebody who's curious about why they drink. And 478 00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:28,480 Speaker 7: so I like to put that term as well as sobriety, 479 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:30,840 Speaker 7: as well as some of the other terms like soberish 480 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:35,000 Speaker 7: that we hear under the rubric of mindful drinking. And 481 00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:38,879 Speaker 7: what mindful drinking really means is that we're drinking in 482 00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:43,840 Speaker 7: relationship to our goals and values, health or otherwise. It 483 00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:47,280 Speaker 7: means that we're taking a pause to think why do 484 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:51,600 Speaker 7: we drink alcohol? And that's something that's happening as a trend, 485 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,639 Speaker 7: but that is something that is just a good practice 486 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:59,320 Speaker 7: in general. Let's start with asking yourself three questions and 487 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:01,119 Speaker 7: put a journey in front of you, or take a 488 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,360 Speaker 7: walk if you don't feel like writing it down, and 489 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:07,600 Speaker 7: ask yourself, what is the ideal situation where I drink, 490 00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:10,480 Speaker 7: what is the best time, what are the worst times 491 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:11,320 Speaker 7: that I drank? 492 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:12,399 Speaker 1: And how would I. 493 00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:14,840 Speaker 7: Like to do it going forward? So it's comparing and 494 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,840 Speaker 7: contrasting the experiences you've had, because certainly if you've had 495 00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:20,639 Speaker 7: good experiences and you feel like you can continue to drink, 496 00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:23,800 Speaker 7: not a problem at all. Continue to drink from there. 497 00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:27,080 Speaker 7: If you've decided that you can still drink alcohol and 498 00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:30,119 Speaker 7: you want to incorporate let's say no and low alcohol drinks, 499 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,600 Speaker 7: I think there's a whole new world out there for you, 500 00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:35,560 Speaker 7: which is really exciting. And ultimately, I don't think it's 501 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,680 Speaker 7: about what we give up. I think it's what we gain. 502 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,840 Speaker 7: One of the struggles is that you go out and 503 00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,800 Speaker 7: maybe you're having a non acoholic beer or sipping water 504 00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:46,720 Speaker 7: or whatever, and somebody says, why aren't you drinking, And 505 00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:48,480 Speaker 7: all of a sudden, again you have to tell your 506 00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:51,160 Speaker 7: whole life story just to say, like, I'm just trying 507 00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:53,000 Speaker 7: to figure out whether I want a drink or not. 508 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:56,439 Speaker 7: So I think to me, temporary absence months are a 509 00:22:56,480 --> 00:23:00,080 Speaker 7: great place to start. During dry January, sober October, or 510 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:01,800 Speaker 7: you have the perfect cover. You said, I'm doing drid 511 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,240 Speaker 7: J anywhere. I'm doing this challenge. I'm doing thirty days 512 00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:07,680 Speaker 7: to see if I can go without alcohol, and if 513 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,600 Speaker 7: that works well for you, then maybe you want to 514 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:13,920 Speaker 7: keep it going right or if that doesn't work well, 515 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:15,639 Speaker 7: in the sense like you have a lot of trouble 516 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:18,040 Speaker 7: doing it, then maybe that's a good signal to you 517 00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:20,080 Speaker 7: that you may need external help for this. 518 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:24,399 Speaker 2: Matt, I got to tell you, every time I am 519 00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:27,000 Speaker 2: out at a bar or a restaurant, my eyes immediately 520 00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,359 Speaker 2: go to the non alcoholic section of the menu. 521 00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:33,119 Speaker 1: Now, yeah, they're everywhere. I've been like so pleasantly surprised 522 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:36,720 Speaker 1: at like the breadth of places that carry these options. 523 00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:39,000 Speaker 1: I was in California a couple weeks ago. My brother 524 00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:40,800 Speaker 1: invited me to a bar. I didn't tell him that 525 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:42,919 Speaker 1: I wasn't drinking, and then it was the first thing 526 00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:44,680 Speaker 1: I said when I showed up, and he goes, bro, 527 00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,360 Speaker 1: why didn't you tell me? And I was like, no, Actually, 528 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:50,400 Speaker 1: it's okay because I think that they have non alcoholic 529 00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:52,919 Speaker 1: options here, which I'm totally cool with. And lo and 530 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:54,919 Speaker 1: behold the bar that we met. I did and I 531 00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:57,280 Speaker 1: had a great non alcoholic beer, wonderful. 532 00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:59,400 Speaker 3: I had am moctail last night. 533 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:02,480 Speaker 2: And it was like regular juices like that I probably 534 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:04,960 Speaker 2: have in my own refrigerator, but there was something about 535 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:07,800 Speaker 2: it in a martini glass yeah, that I just was 536 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:09,119 Speaker 2: savoring every sip. 537 00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,400 Speaker 3: It actually was dolicious like, I. 538 00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:13,919 Speaker 2: Don't think I could put grenadine and pineapple juice and 539 00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:17,000 Speaker 2: orange juice together in a way that was this satisfying, 540 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:18,919 Speaker 2: but like sipping it out of a martini glass made 541 00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:22,159 Speaker 2: me feel very fancy and not at all drunk, and 542 00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,600 Speaker 2: I was very happy about that result. 543 00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:26,679 Speaker 1: Yeah, and you're not, if you listen to the episode, 544 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:30,080 Speaker 1: going to be spending way less money. Not because these 545 00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:34,720 Speaker 1: are high quality ingredients that are crafted with all natural products. 546 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,399 Speaker 1: Justifies the cost, as Derek went into in the episode. 547 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,880 Speaker 1: But I think my favorite thing about what he said 548 00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:42,240 Speaker 1: is if it's you're re examining you think having a 549 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:45,680 Speaker 1: sober lifestyle something that is for you and people are 550 00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:47,320 Speaker 1: giving you a hard time about it, just kind of 551 00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:49,119 Speaker 1: frame it as a challenge, like I'm trying the challenge, 552 00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:51,560 Speaker 1: trying to exercise myself and see what I can get 553 00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:54,080 Speaker 1: away with. And honestly, that's what Elena and I did. 554 00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:56,119 Speaker 1: We went like a month or two without drinking, and 555 00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:57,680 Speaker 1: then we went out with friends. We're like, oh, let's 556 00:24:57,720 --> 00:24:59,359 Speaker 1: get alcohol out of the house and only do what 557 00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:01,480 Speaker 1: we go out with friends. We went out with friends 558 00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:03,160 Speaker 1: and we woke up the next day after a couple drinks, 559 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:04,960 Speaker 1: were like you know what, I don't feel that great, 560 00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:07,560 Speaker 1: maybe not, maybe not. We did that a few more 561 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:09,880 Speaker 1: times until I realized that it's just not really for us, 562 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:11,960 Speaker 1: and so it just comes back to mindfulness for me, 563 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:13,800 Speaker 1: and I think that if you are having the same 564 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:15,440 Speaker 1: kind of thoughts in your life, go ahead and listen 565 00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:19,080 Speaker 1: to Derek's episode. Grab his book which has a great recipe, 566 00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:21,360 Speaker 1: and I can now say for an old fashion which 567 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:23,520 Speaker 1: was my favorite drink that is a non alcoholic option 568 00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:26,240 Speaker 1: and loved it. So get end of the episode, get 569 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:26,920 Speaker 1: into the recipes. 570 00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:30,199 Speaker 2: I love it for just trying this out for a 571 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:33,679 Speaker 2: select amount of time, and you're gonna see that you 572 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,600 Speaker 2: feel like your sleep is clear, your skin is clear, 573 00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:39,639 Speaker 2: and your mind is clear. And when your mind is clear, 574 00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:41,760 Speaker 2: guess what, everything is better. 575 00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:42,600 Speaker 1: Sky's the limit. 576 00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:44,080 Speaker 3: And you know what else helps you. 577 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:47,000 Speaker 2: To get your mind clear a little bit of meditation. 578 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:50,680 Speaker 2: So let's talk about our next episode with Kaisonga Giscombe, 579 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:54,520 Speaker 2: who was an incredible guest to talk about meditation with. 580 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:57,480 Speaker 2: And if you haven't listened to it already, go back 581 00:25:57,520 --> 00:26:00,119 Speaker 2: and listen because there is a little meditation moment in there, 582 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,200 Speaker 2: so you don't even have to like seek out a meditation. 583 00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:04,840 Speaker 2: You can do one just by listening to the episode. 584 00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:07,679 Speaker 1: He's a voiceover artist in addition to his meditation teaching, 585 00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:11,159 Speaker 1: and you really hear why when you listen to the episode. 586 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:14,160 Speaker 1: He is beautiful voice. It's a very very calming presence, 587 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:15,800 Speaker 1: and you know what, I don't know why, but this 588 00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:17,560 Speaker 1: is the one thing that I know I need to 589 00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:18,840 Speaker 1: do more in my life. Is one thing that I 590 00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:21,639 Speaker 1: haven't really been able to implement this season, which is like, 591 00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:25,680 Speaker 1: I'm so mad at myself for doing because it's so easy. 592 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:27,360 Speaker 1: He talks about how it's like kind of the first 593 00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:28,920 Speaker 1: thing you can do in the moment. You take five 594 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:31,400 Speaker 1: minutes and just breathe. Right, Why is it so difficult 595 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:32,160 Speaker 1: for me to do that. 596 00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:34,439 Speaker 2: Just one minute? Start with one minute and then you 597 00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:35,400 Speaker 2: work your way up from there. 598 00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:36,159 Speaker 1: You can do it. 599 00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:36,520 Speaker 3: Please. 600 00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:38,760 Speaker 2: Of all the things we've learned this season, this is 601 00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:40,480 Speaker 2: definitely one you can start to implement. 602 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:42,040 Speaker 1: I know, right, it seems like that this would be 603 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:44,760 Speaker 1: the easiest. But anyway, let's take a second. Listen to 604 00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:48,320 Speaker 1: our interview with Kisanga and get into the meditation mood. 605 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:53,720 Speaker 8: If you think of a snow globe as your thoughts 606 00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:56,240 Speaker 8: or as your life, even and when you shake up 607 00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:58,840 Speaker 8: a snow globe, what happens? Everything is swirling, Yeah, it 608 00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:01,560 Speaker 8: goes all over, right, So that's kind of like how 609 00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:05,240 Speaker 8: your mind might be in any stressful moment. So what 610 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:09,240 Speaker 8: mindfulness and meditation allows you to do is to just pause. 611 00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:11,720 Speaker 8: So if you put that snow globe down and you 612 00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:14,600 Speaker 8: just pause and you take a moment, what happens to 613 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:16,000 Speaker 8: all of that that flurry? 614 00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:19,120 Speaker 3: Letting it settle settles, let it come down. 615 00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:22,160 Speaker 8: They don't get rid of it necessarily, but it settles it. 616 00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:27,119 Speaker 8: It brings some clarity to your space. And it's in 617 00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:31,240 Speaker 8: this clarity that you're able to gain some wisdom as 618 00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:34,240 Speaker 8: to what's going on, and then you're able to move 619 00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:41,639 Speaker 8: forward making more wise and appropriate decisions and choices. Oftentimes, 620 00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:46,800 Speaker 8: in stressful moments, we just react. So the idea with 621 00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:51,840 Speaker 8: mindfulness is bringing your full attention to each moment. Because 622 00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,639 Speaker 8: if I'm in the preseason workout and all I'm thinking 623 00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:59,040 Speaker 8: about is that championship, then how effective is that workout 624 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:01,840 Speaker 8: really be if I'm not fully focused on it. 625 00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:02,679 Speaker 5: Now. 626 00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:05,200 Speaker 8: It doesn't mean that you have to forget about your goals. 627 00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:08,680 Speaker 8: In fact, I encourage my clients every so often look 628 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,240 Speaker 8: at your goal, envision yourself getting that goal, use that 629 00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:15,760 Speaker 8: visualization technique, and then generally let it go and bring 630 00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:19,959 Speaker 8: your full attention back to the present moment. So oftentimes 631 00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:23,360 Speaker 8: we're in this autopilot mind state where again we're either 632 00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:26,040 Speaker 8: thinking about the future or ruminating about the past, but 633 00:28:26,119 --> 00:28:30,000 Speaker 8: our present moment experience is just passing us by, so 634 00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:36,720 Speaker 8: we're not experiencing fully life itself. So that's what mindfulness meditation. 635 00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:39,840 Speaker 8: It's really just designed to bring your full awareness to 636 00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:44,320 Speaker 8: right here and right now. Studies have shown that not 637 00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:48,560 Speaker 8: only does mindfulness and meditation stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system, 638 00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:53,600 Speaker 8: but it also repairs that part of the parasympathetic nervous 639 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:56,680 Speaker 8: system that has been destroyed. So when I found that 640 00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:59,080 Speaker 8: particular piece out, I was blown away. 641 00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:00,320 Speaker 9: I know. 642 00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:02,440 Speaker 8: Like, for instance, taking a deep breath in through the 643 00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:07,560 Speaker 8: nose and now through the mouth, that acting of itself 644 00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:11,160 Speaker 8: stimulates the power sympathetic nervous system. That's why I oftentimes 645 00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:14,440 Speaker 8: when someone is stressed out, what do we say to them, Chill, chill, 646 00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:18,440 Speaker 8: take a deep breath. Yeah, right, But with meditation, not 647 00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:21,360 Speaker 8: only does it stimulate the power sympathetic nervous system, but 648 00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:24,720 Speaker 8: it also repairs the parts of the power of sympathetic 649 00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:28,080 Speaker 8: nervous system that has been damaged from chronic stress. 650 00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:34,280 Speaker 2: I especially loved the snow globe analogy there because that 651 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:38,760 Speaker 2: really gave me the visualization of how important and impactful 652 00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:41,640 Speaker 2: doing just a little bit of meditating can actually be 653 00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:43,040 Speaker 2: on your mind and your body. 654 00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:47,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's such a perfect analogy. And sometimes I do 655 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:49,760 Speaker 1: feel like my brain is that snow globe, where there's 656 00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:52,960 Speaker 1: just a thousand things going on at work, with my family, 657 00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:56,600 Speaker 1: with my friends, with my health, whatnot, and I do 658 00:29:56,640 --> 00:30:00,080 Speaker 1: really get caught up in it, and so taking a 659 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:05,280 Speaker 1: moment to breathe and let everything settle. And even as 660 00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:08,000 Speaker 1: they say during meditation, like things come up, like thoughts 661 00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:10,120 Speaker 1: come up, and like the best thing to do is 662 00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:12,040 Speaker 1: to take another deep breath and too focus on your breath. 663 00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:15,000 Speaker 1: And I do think that eventually, I can't say that 664 00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:18,239 Speaker 1: I've experienced it, but I think eventually things settle, you know. 665 00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:22,200 Speaker 1: And Yeah, when your parasympathetic nervous system is relaxed, that's 666 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:23,720 Speaker 1: a really healthy place to be. And I think it's 667 00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:25,960 Speaker 1: when we're so tight and wound up and so stressed 668 00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:29,480 Speaker 1: that all these really terrible health benefits come on like ulcers, 669 00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:33,200 Speaker 1: like stress, like anxiety, like depression, and so it's kind 670 00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:35,800 Speaker 1: of like that muscle that you could exercise to combat 671 00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:36,600 Speaker 1: all that stuff. 672 00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:39,240 Speaker 2: Truly, Matt, We've said it before, but I'll say it again. 673 00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:41,280 Speaker 3: You should listen to the episode if. 674 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,920 Speaker 2: You want to learn and really start to be incorporating 675 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:47,560 Speaker 2: meditation into your daily life. 676 00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:48,440 Speaker 3: It can be very simple. 677 00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:51,040 Speaker 2: If you're making time for like a little duo lingo session, 678 00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:54,040 Speaker 2: you can make time for a little meditation session. But honestly, 679 00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:57,120 Speaker 2: just listen because his voice is so soothing and so calming, 680 00:30:57,240 --> 00:31:00,080 Speaker 2: and like that alone calmed my nervous system and that 681 00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:02,440 Speaker 2: was probably my favorite part of the whole thing. 682 00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:04,440 Speaker 3: But also there are wonderful tips in. 683 00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:08,920 Speaker 1: There too, absolutely, and if meditation might bring that piece 684 00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:11,400 Speaker 1: and calm into your life, do you know what else will? Oh? 685 00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:12,880 Speaker 1: What life insurance? 686 00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:18,520 Speaker 2: Okay, you know it's so funny, Matt, because actually this 687 00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:21,840 Speaker 2: episode that we did about life insurance with life insurance 688 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:25,440 Speaker 2: advisor Dennis Carlson actually did give me peace of mind, 689 00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:28,520 Speaker 2: a very different kind than meditation, but it did give 690 00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:31,000 Speaker 2: me peace of mind and took a topic that seems 691 00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:33,840 Speaker 2: sort of like scary and overwhelming and big and hard 692 00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:37,080 Speaker 2: to understand, and kind of made it very basic and 693 00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:41,040 Speaker 2: very manageable, and he gave us a lot of ways 694 00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:44,600 Speaker 2: to take some action and really make sure that those 695 00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:47,840 Speaker 2: around us that love and care for us are set 696 00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:49,720 Speaker 2: up when we are not here anymore. 697 00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:52,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, he really simplified it because there are all these terms. 698 00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:55,720 Speaker 1: There's whole life, and there's term life, and there's all 699 00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:58,560 Speaker 1: these kind of variations. Those are just two. There's many more, 700 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:01,680 Speaker 1: and you can kind of be like, man, not only 701 00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:03,560 Speaker 1: do I definitely need a life insurance, I don't even 702 00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:05,400 Speaker 1: know what kind of life insurance I need? Why are 703 00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:08,600 Speaker 1: there so many different kinds? But by breaking it down 704 00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:11,120 Speaker 1: with Dennis in this episode, I totally feel like I 705 00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:15,000 Speaker 1: got clarity on the issue and know that I need 706 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:18,440 Speaker 1: to make some changes myself. So luckily, our enrollment is 707 00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:21,080 Speaker 1: around the corner and I am going to make some changes. 708 00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:23,960 Speaker 1: But let's find out how we can do it with Dennis. 709 00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:29,440 Speaker 9: In a life insurance policy, you have three components. You 710 00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:32,160 Speaker 9: have the insured that's the person that if they pass away, 711 00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:34,520 Speaker 9: the death benefit goes somewhere. You have the beneficiary that's 712 00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:36,760 Speaker 9: who gets paid the death benefit. But you also have 713 00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:40,120 Speaker 9: the owner. The owner does not have to be the insured, 714 00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:42,720 Speaker 9: and the owner does not have to be the beneficiary. 715 00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:45,280 Speaker 9: So I mentioned this because often what we're doing is 716 00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:49,520 Speaker 9: with businesses, even small businesses. Perhaps it's what we call 717 00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:52,680 Speaker 9: a key person life insurance policy, and the beneficiary is 718 00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:55,600 Speaker 9: the business. Let's say your VP of sales brings in 719 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:58,000 Speaker 9: a lot of money for the company. If they were 720 00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:01,040 Speaker 9: to pass away unexpectedly, that would be a financial burden 721 00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:03,720 Speaker 9: on the company, and they have an insurable interest in 722 00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:07,400 Speaker 9: the life of that key employee. So the company may 723 00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:10,040 Speaker 9: be the owner of that policy. The key employee is 724 00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:13,000 Speaker 9: the insured, but the company is also the beneficiary of 725 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,840 Speaker 9: that policy, not an individual, but the company, like the 726 00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:19,280 Speaker 9: loc or the corporation themselves. When you're young and healthy, 727 00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:21,560 Speaker 9: that's the best time to buy a term insurance policy 728 00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:23,440 Speaker 9: because you're going to lock in those rates for whatever 729 00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:26,200 Speaker 9: term you purchase. And I think that's what gets missed 730 00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:28,760 Speaker 9: a lot is people think, oh, that's something i'll need 731 00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:32,280 Speaker 9: later in life, so I won't purchase a policy now. 732 00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:35,200 Speaker 9: And if you're gonna think that way, remember that I'm 733 00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:37,440 Speaker 9: fifty one. When you start to get into your forties 734 00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,320 Speaker 9: and fifties, things start to change. Right your health things 735 00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:42,560 Speaker 9: start to change. You might have heart palpitations or something 736 00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:45,080 Speaker 9: else that makes it a lot harder to get insurance 737 00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:47,640 Speaker 9: than it was in your thirties. So that's the main 738 00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:49,960 Speaker 9: thing I would say is just getting a policy in 739 00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:53,640 Speaker 9: place when you're young is a great building block. To 740 00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:56,200 Speaker 9: be clear, life insurance isn't for everyone. If you don't 741 00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:59,080 Speaker 9: have people who depend on you financially, you might not 742 00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:01,480 Speaker 9: need life insurance, like it might not be something you 743 00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:04,560 Speaker 9: should consider really first and foremost. If you're buying any 744 00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:07,120 Speaker 9: type of life insurance policy, whether that's permanent or term, 745 00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:09,920 Speaker 9: you should have some type of need for the actual 746 00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:13,560 Speaker 9: life insurance, for that death benefit, because somebody or an 747 00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:17,239 Speaker 9: organization something relies on you for income that would be 748 00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:18,959 Speaker 9: lost if you were to pass away. 749 00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:23,120 Speaker 2: Matt, to be totally honest with you, I went into 750 00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:26,640 Speaker 2: this episode about life insurance knowing nothing. Like if you 751 00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:27,960 Speaker 2: had asked me what do you know about it? I 752 00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:32,200 Speaker 2: would flat out tell you pretty much nothing. And Dennis 753 00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:34,120 Speaker 2: broke it down in a way that now I'm like, 754 00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:36,640 Speaker 2: I'm going to be shopping for a personal policy because 755 00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:38,440 Speaker 2: this is important to me. And so now I'm like, 756 00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:41,640 Speaker 2: I'm not saying I'm an expert, but compared to where 757 00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:43,800 Speaker 2: I came from and where I am now, I definitely 758 00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:45,120 Speaker 2: learned a ton from him here. 759 00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:48,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, totally. I basically understood concept of like, cool I die, 760 00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:50,520 Speaker 1: you know, I want to take care of my family, right, 761 00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:53,279 Speaker 1: even if my family isn't necessarily dependent upon me. I'd 762 00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:55,440 Speaker 1: like something good to come out of me dying, right. 763 00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:57,239 Speaker 1: So I think I knew that, and I do have 764 00:34:57,280 --> 00:35:00,640 Speaker 1: a policy through work, but I didn't really understand how 765 00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:03,520 Speaker 1: important it is to have your own personal life insurance policy, because, 766 00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:06,560 Speaker 1: as he'd mentions, the younger you are when you get it, 767 00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:08,839 Speaker 1: the better your rates could be, and you kind of 768 00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:11,160 Speaker 1: lock in that rate throughout your lifetime, you know. And 769 00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:13,719 Speaker 1: so I'm thirty five years old now and I don't 770 00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:15,759 Speaker 1: have a personal one. I just have one through my work, right, 771 00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:17,360 Speaker 1: And so he really made me think I should be 772 00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:19,440 Speaker 1: getting my own personal policy, and I should do it 773 00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:22,040 Speaker 1: sooner than later because I can lock in those rates 774 00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:24,600 Speaker 1: and I can carry it with me throughout my life 775 00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:27,239 Speaker 1: no matter what happens in my career. Although I did 776 00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:30,200 Speaker 1: also learn that you do have in most states in 777 00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:33,839 Speaker 1: the US a thirty one day period after you lose 778 00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:37,759 Speaker 1: your employment to making it portable or transferring it to 779 00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:41,319 Speaker 1: a personal policy, and so that's something that I'm also 780 00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:43,200 Speaker 1: going to look into how I might be able to 781 00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:45,960 Speaker 1: make that transition in addition to getting my own policy. 782 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,600 Speaker 1: But there's a lot of other amazing tidbits in the 783 00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:51,000 Speaker 1: dentist episode, and he was just fantastic, so happy to 784 00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:51,400 Speaker 1: have him on. 785 00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:53,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, I saw a guy sucking on a cigarette yesterday 786 00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:55,560 Speaker 2: and I was like, well, that's going to affect your 787 00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:58,040 Speaker 2: life insurance policy, sir, So you might want to rethink 788 00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:00,400 Speaker 2: that habit. Yeah, so you'll think of about it all 789 00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:02,640 Speaker 2: the time now, whether you realize it or not. 790 00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:12,319 Speaker 1: Well, if we started the episode sad, now I'm even 791 00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:16,080 Speaker 1: more sad. I know truly is time to say goodbye 792 00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:18,719 Speaker 1: to grown up stuff season three. But we're going to 793 00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:21,600 Speaker 1: have a nice little respite in the winter of this 794 00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:24,359 Speaker 1: year and we'll be back from more before you know it. 795 00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:26,560 Speaker 2: You know, I'm going to take this time to realize 796 00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:28,480 Speaker 2: all the stuff I don't know and make a list, 797 00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:30,799 Speaker 2: and I'm sure i won't be alone, and then it's 798 00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:32,920 Speaker 2: just going to open up a whole new world of 799 00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:35,680 Speaker 2: learning for us. And so I am very excited about that. 800 00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:39,560 Speaker 2: So Matt, thank you for taking this journey and learning 801 00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:42,200 Speaker 2: so much about our mind, body, and spirit. 802 00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:44,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's not going to take long. I'm going 803 00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:45,799 Speaker 1: to wake up tomorrow morning and be like, oh right, 804 00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:48,200 Speaker 1: I don't know anything about this part of adult life. 805 00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:50,600 Speaker 1: And I'm sure you guys will all join us in 806 00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:53,440 Speaker 1: the sentiment. So we'll wish you all a wonderful winter 807 00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:55,600 Speaker 1: and we'll be back soon. 808 00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:58,040 Speaker 2: And until next time, good luck being a grown up. 809 00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:03,760 Speaker 1: This is a production of Ruby Studio for My Heart Media. 810 00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:07,680 Speaker 1: Our executive producers are Leopaul Mary and Matt Stillo. 811 00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:10,680 Speaker 2: This episode was edited and engineered by Sierra 812 00:37:10,719 --> 00:37:13,600 Speaker 1: Spreen, and we want to thank our teammates at Ruby Studio, 813 00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:17,759 Speaker 1: including Sarah You, Ethan Fixel, Raygus One, krasnov Lydia Kim, 814 00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:35,080 Speaker 1: Abby Aguilar Harper, Wayne, Celia Verplu, Deborah Garrett, and Andy Kelly.