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Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 2: But I think it's important that people in certain positions

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Speaker 2: know that it's okay to drop the ball as long

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Speaker 2: as you pick it back up. You know, a lot of.

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Speaker 3: Us get in that space where we drop a ball

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Speaker 3: and then we're scared to go back and we're like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna just keep moving forward because I don't want

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Speaker 3: to lose this momentum or I don't want to lose

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Speaker 3: and you can't do that. You really have to take

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Speaker 3: those steps back or stop if that's what you need

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Speaker 3: to do and revisit whatever it is, because that's how

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Speaker 3: you learn and new behavior, and that's something I teach

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Speaker 3: when I'm working with my clients.

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Speaker 1: Today's episode is sure to provide you with motivation, inspiration,

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Speaker 1: or a fresh perspective. If you have any AHA moments

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Speaker 1: or appreciate anything from this episode, please leave us a

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Speaker 1: review to let us know we're on the right track. Also,

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Speaker 1: we release episodes every Friday, so be sure to subscribe

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Speaker 1: on iTunes and visit cultivatingheirspace dot com to access our

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Speaker 1: exclusive after show and other bonus content from the Patreon tab.

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Speaker 4: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, A podcast dedicated to uplifting

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Speaker 4: women like you. We're your hosts, doctor Dominique Brussard, a

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Speaker 4: college professor and psychologist.

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Speaker 3: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker. In a

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Speaker 3: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please

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Speaker 3: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from

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Speaker 3: five roids to fake friends and create a safe space

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Speaker 3: where black women can just be all Right, lady, we

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Speaker 3: have a very special guest today, and inspiring guest, and

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Speaker 3: I'm just gonna go ahead and read her bios so

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Speaker 3: we can jump into this juicy conversation.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 4: So.

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Speaker 2: Lynelle P.

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Speaker 3: Laws is a licensed marriage and family therapist who resides

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Speaker 3: in Los Angeles, California. She has over fifteen years of

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Speaker 3: experience in the field and she's currently employed by the

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Speaker 3: Ammad Institute as a behavioral health therapist, where she collaborates

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Speaker 3: with the Watts Labor Community Action Committee on Project Impact.

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Speaker 3: The Project Impact program is here to eliminate recidivism within

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Speaker 3: the community. As a single mother of two, a woman

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Speaker 3: of color, and someone directly impacted by the criminal justice system,

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Speaker 3: Lenelle has overcome many adversities of her own due to

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Speaker 3: her lived experience, Lenelle has been able to meet her

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Speaker 3: clients where they are while helping them change the way

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Speaker 3: they navigate through life.

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Speaker 2: She is an expert capitalized expert. Okay y'all.

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Speaker 3: She is an expert at being trauma informed in implementing

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Speaker 3: harm reduction and uses this to change the way communities

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Speaker 3: of Color view therapists and mental health. Linnell recently started

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Speaker 3: a private practice called Heal Thyself Wellness Services, which provides

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Speaker 3: their services to individuals struggling with anxiety, depression, and or trauma.

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Speaker 3: She is known for saying, this isn't just my passion,

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Speaker 3: this is my purpose, all right, But now you're.

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Speaker 2: Here, Welcome to Cultivating Grundspace. We're so excited to have me.

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Speaker 3: Yes, thank you so much ladies for having me here today.

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Speaker 2: I really appreciate it.

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Speaker 3: It's always great when I can be in a space

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Speaker 3: with other encouraging and uplifting women to be able to

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Speaker 3: just share our stories and let people know. You know,

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Speaker 3: you don't have to believe what other people tell you.

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Speaker 3: You can believe what you want to believe about yourself. Yes, aim, amen, Yes, yes,

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Speaker 3: And that.

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Speaker 5: Lends itself perfectly to our quote of the day. So

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Speaker 5: Our quote of the day comes to us from doctor Tine,

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Speaker 5: who is a licensed psychologistsident of the Americans Logical Association

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Speaker 5: in Lives and Practices in La Okay.

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Speaker 2: Go right.

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Speaker 5: So the quote of the day, the story you tell

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Speaker 5: yourself can keep you stuck healing gives you permission for

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Speaker 5: rewrite a new story, a new season.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I love that. I love that, and so.

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Speaker 5: I feel like I need to repeat it just so

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Speaker 5: that we can really sit with it and make sure

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Speaker 5: the folks in the back heard it. The story you

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Speaker 5: tell yourself can keep you stuck healing gives you permission

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Speaker 5: for rewrite a new story, a new season. Well, now,

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Speaker 5: when you hear this quote and you think about the

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Speaker 5: work that you do, what comes up for you, what

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Speaker 5: resonates with you around this quote?

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Speaker 3: Honestly, the entire quote resonated with me, not just in

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Speaker 3: the work that I do, but in regards to my life.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: So when you talk about what we tell ourselves and

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Speaker 3: what we believe, that's a true state. You can believe

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Speaker 3: what other people have conditioned you to believe about yourself,

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Speaker 3: about society, about you know, your family, whatever that context is.

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Speaker 2: You can believe those things, and it can hold.

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Speaker 3: You back, or you can choose to write your own story,

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Speaker 3: rewrite history, you know. And so I love that. I

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Speaker 3: love that it hits a lot of different levels. I

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Speaker 3: love that it speaks to the entire person and not

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Speaker 3: just you know, one human being, not just women, not

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Speaker 3: just men, but to the entire person. So that's what

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Speaker 3: I also like about it.

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Speaker 2: That is so beautiful.

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Speaker 3: Hey girl, Hey, we hope you're enjoying this conversation as

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Speaker 3: much as we are. But let's be real, it costs

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Speaker 3: money to podcast, and we got bills to pay. So

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Speaker 3: enjoy this commercial break as you process what we've been

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Speaker 3: talking about. And remember, when you support our sponsors, you're

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Speaker 3: also supporting us. This episode is brought to you by

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Speaker 3: Better Help. I've had many moments in life where I

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Speaker 6: Cultivating her Space has a passion for helping women feel

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Speaker 6: safe and accept it, and here at Mclaurenmental Wellness, I

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Speaker 6: have a passion for helping women cultivate a life with

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Speaker 6: less anxiety, fear and worry.

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Speaker 3: Hi.

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Speaker 6: I'm Ashanda mclauren, the founder of mclauren Mental Wellness, the

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Speaker 6: premier and anxiety counseling, coaching and courses for women. Mclaurer

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Speaker 6: Mental Wellness has helped hundreds of women change their lives

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Speaker 6: and now we want to help you through individual therapy

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Speaker 6: and group coaching. We're currently accepting new clients for individual therapy.

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Speaker 6: You can book a free fifteen minute consultation to get started.

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Speaker 6: begins on September fifth, and sign up's currently open. All

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Speaker 6: licensed therapist and anxiety specialist who has been providing therapy

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Speaker 3: All right, let's get back into it. As you were

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Speaker 3: just sharing, I feel like I'm a little emotional, y'all,

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Speaker 3: so you have to me out. I don't know what

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Speaker 3: just happened, but I was just like looking at our screen.

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Speaker 3: I'm looking at these amazing like the US as beautiful

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Speaker 3: black women and Linnelle.

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Speaker 2: I know we don't know each other personally.

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Speaker 3: We're all just meeting for the first time, you know,

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Speaker 3: outside of Domini, of course, and we're thinking about Domini.

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Speaker 3: Like we were both parentified at young ages, right, Donald's raised,

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Speaker 3: you know, coming from a single, single parent household. I

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Speaker 3: my mom was in and out of jail since I

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Speaker 3: was eight years old. And we're a strange currently and

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Speaker 3: so we all have these tough upbringings, but we are

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Speaker 3: what we are today, and so we've told our stories

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Speaker 3: in the podcast. So now from your bio, we already

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Speaker 3: know you have a story with story tell us like

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Speaker 3: what brought you to where you are today? And wet

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Speaker 3: the back in chills, So don't feel much we're just

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Speaker 3: gonna chill because, oh, you know, we talk about emotions. Now.

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Speaker 3: I'm an emotional clerson, So when you said that, I

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Speaker 3: was like, it's bringing up some things for me as well.

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Speaker 3: And I always start when I tell my story by saying,

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Speaker 3: for a long time, I was not able to show

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Speaker 3: any emotions because I was not permitted to show any emotions.

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Speaker 3: And so now I show speed many emotions sometimes and

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Speaker 3: step to a way. You know, when I'm happy, I

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Speaker 3: cried when I'm sad, I cry when I'm sad, I

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Speaker 3: cried when I'm frustrated, when I'm nervous, and so of

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Speaker 3: course I'm finding that balance. But it was funny that

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Speaker 3: you said that because I felt those emotions coming up

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Speaker 3: as well, because I'm like, oh, it's a lot of

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Speaker 3: things rather than they with me. When I heard that quote,

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Speaker 3: it kind of opened me up to want to tell

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Speaker 3: my story. So with that, and thank you for sharing,

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Speaker 3: you know, those tippits about your stories, because they're huge.

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Speaker 3: Even though they were little nuggets, they really gave me

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Speaker 3: a lot of context to who I'm sitting here with today.

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Speaker 3: So I appreciate that as well. So my story is similar.

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Speaker 3: I was raised to or by two parents. I was

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Speaker 3: raised by a single mother, but both of my parents

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Speaker 3: have been in their addiction for years. So, like you

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Speaker 3: just stated, Terry, I was a strange for my mother

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Speaker 3: for a very long time. We're currently rebuilding that relationship.

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Speaker 3: So I'm really proud to be able to say that

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Speaker 3: because I was not able to say that for a

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Speaker 3: long time, and it just came into soluition the year

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Speaker 3: or so.

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Speaker 2: So it is possible.

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Speaker 3: And my dad we have a fairly good relationship, but

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Speaker 3: once again, they've struggled with their addictions, and so I

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Speaker 3: struggled with being parentified. I struggled with being an only

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Speaker 3: child as well, and I struggled with just finding my

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Speaker 3: place and knowing my worth. And so a lot of

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Speaker 3: my story has to do with that. It surrounds itself

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Speaker 3: around that. I made a lot of choices that and

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Speaker 3: I say right now, I was so smart. I was dumb,

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Speaker 3: you know that saying. You know, because I'm very intelligent,

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Speaker 3: book wise, but I was not street smart at the time.

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Speaker 3: I became street smart because I had to, and I

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Speaker 3: only had to because I put myself in those situations.

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Speaker 3: Will said it that way as well. I was incarcerated

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Speaker 3: several times. And the last time that I was incarcerated,

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Speaker 3: it was my I want to say late twenties, early thirties,

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Speaker 3: and I I was looking at prison time. My mother

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Speaker 3: is the only one who struggles with addiction. So on

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Speaker 3: that side of my family foundation is in church. I

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Speaker 3: felt like I had a very supportive family, but at

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Speaker 3: the same time I could not relate, and so I

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00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:22,800
Speaker 3: pushed them away and did not accept a lot of

243
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Speaker 3: the help that could have been given to me or

244
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Speaker 3: should have been given to me. But also I'm happy

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Speaker 3: that I did not take it because it made me

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Speaker 3: the woman I am today.

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Speaker 2: So with all of those things, I once again, as

248
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Speaker 2: I say, I was so smart. I was done.

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Speaker 3: But I represented myself every time I went to court,

250
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Speaker 3: was able to get myself less time, represented myself when

251
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,440
Speaker 3: I went to school because they told me I would

252
00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:52,400
Speaker 3: never be a therapist because of my charges and because

253
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Speaker 3: of my record. I pushed through that, told them I

254
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Speaker 3: didn't believe it, and continue on. Ended up once again

255
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Speaker 3: represent myself getting my record expunged in court and just

256
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Speaker 3: continued the journey. I was like, no, you're not going

257
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Speaker 3: to tell me no. And that's one of my traits too.

258
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Speaker 3: I'm stubborn, but that comes from being an only child.

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Speaker 2: You know.

260
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Speaker 3: I was always up against everyone else, so I felt

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Speaker 3: like I had to prove it myself.

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Speaker 2: So I took that into my adult life once again.

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Speaker 3: I'm now working on that because I tell people all

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Speaker 3: the time, anything that's on the extreme that you know

265
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Speaker 3: is not good. You have to find that balance. So

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Speaker 3: me being too independent was not healthy for me, and

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Speaker 3: that showed up later. But I was able to advocate

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Speaker 3: for myself in a lot of different ways. Graduated, but

269
00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:46,160
Speaker 3: was still denied an associate number. I sought the Border

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Speaker 3: Behavioral Scientists for two years, and for those of you

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Speaker 3: who don't know, you have to get license in the

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Speaker 3: state of California with the Border Behavioral Sciences. I fought

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Speaker 3: them for two years to be able to get licensed,

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Speaker 3: and finally they told me that they would give me

275
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Speaker 3: my license, but with stipulations.

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Speaker 2: So they gave me.

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Speaker 3: My license but told me I had to get a

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Speaker 3: psychological exam that I had to do weekly therapy, and

279
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Speaker 3: it could not be covered through my employment.

280
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Speaker 2: I had to pay for it out of pocket.

281
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Speaker 3: I had to do quarterly reports with a probation monitor

282
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Speaker 3: with the Border Behavioral Sciences, and I had to pay

283
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Speaker 3: a yearly fee to even be on probation with them.

284
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Speaker 3: So I had to do all of these things while

285
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:36,520
Speaker 3: I still couldn't become employed because I had, you know,

286
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:40,240
Speaker 3: this record still even though it's expunged. Anytime I had

287
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:42,880
Speaker 3: to get fingerprinted, it was still coming up. They would

288
00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:45,840
Speaker 3: still you know, judge me because of it. And so

289
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:48,440
Speaker 3: it was difficult to get stable employment. So I had

290
00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:52,360
Speaker 3: a master's degree and I was working like a dollar

291
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:57,280
Speaker 3: tree and doing temporary employment and just you know, three

292
00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,360
Speaker 3: jobs at a time. And I have two children, so

293
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:03,560
Speaker 3: I was raising them as well, two daughters. So I'm

294
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Speaker 3: doing all this not giving up. I was extremely stressed.

295
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Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie.

296
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Speaker 3: I was crying and just you know, going into class

297
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Speaker 3: saying I'm gonna quit, and then saying, Okay, I'm not

298
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Speaker 3: gonna quit. Then I'm going back kind of do something else,

299
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Speaker 3: and Okay, how can I make myself more marketable or

300
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:21,840
Speaker 3: what can I do where I don't have to get licensed?

301
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Speaker 3: So I started working on my doctorate, but in that

302
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:30,320
Speaker 3: time I ended up getting employed with the Probation Department

303
00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:32,880
Speaker 3: where I was living at the time, and so they

304
00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:36,480
Speaker 3: gave me an opportunity because of my background. They were like, okay,

305
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,600
Speaker 3: we want to give you this opportunity. We're looking for

306
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:42,840
Speaker 3: people with lived experience. So I got that opportunity did

307
00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:44,560
Speaker 3: that for a year and a half. So I was

308
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Speaker 3: a substance abuse counselor. So I loved that job, and

309
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:50,760
Speaker 3: of course I could relate because I'm like, Okay, these

310
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Speaker 3: are my people. You know, it's black and brown people,

311
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:57,800
Speaker 3: people with records, you know, people from underserved communities, but

312
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Speaker 3: this is our me. And being a substance abuse counselor,

313
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Speaker 3: I was able to also engage with individuals and get

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Speaker 3: a different perspective because I had always been the child

315
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:13,359
Speaker 3: of two individuals struggling with addiction, and being able to

316
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:17,879
Speaker 3: actually speak with individuals struggling with addiction gave me a

317
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:20,840
Speaker 3: different perspective and it actually opened that door.

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Speaker 2: I think at that time that made me want to

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00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:26,200
Speaker 2: bridge the gap with my mother, so.

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Speaker 3: That, you know, everything happened the way it was supposed

321
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:32,560
Speaker 3: to and kind of lined up for me. After that,

322
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,919
Speaker 3: I received a job with the county where I was

323
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:39,040
Speaker 3: living at at the time, and so you know, they

324
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:42,560
Speaker 3: encouraged me to take that position as a therapist because

325
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:46,040
Speaker 3: I didn't have my associate number, and I went into

326
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:51,760
Speaker 3: that position and I was discriminated against. So the person

327
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:56,439
Speaker 3: I was working under did not like me because of

328
00:18:56,480 --> 00:19:00,040
Speaker 3: the color of my skin. Because I was relatable, a

329
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:03,520
Speaker 3: lot of the clients wanted to see me, and she

330
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:06,520
Speaker 3: just didn't want to give me an opportunity, and so

331
00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:11,439
Speaker 3: she let me go before my time, and so I

332
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:16,480
Speaker 3: was discouraged. I started working at Apple. I stidn't doing iPhones,

333
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:18,719
Speaker 3: and I was like, I'm not going to be able to,

334
00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:21,560
Speaker 3: you know, use my degree and you know. But then

335
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:23,879
Speaker 3: I was like, don't give up. You know, something told me,

336
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:26,920
Speaker 3: don't give up. You haven't given up this in this

337
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,000
Speaker 3: amount of time. You're not going to give up now.

338
00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:31,359
Speaker 3: So I was like, I'm going to just start applying

339
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:32,960
Speaker 3: out of town. You know, I don't really know if

340
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:36,479
Speaker 3: I want to move. I never lived anywhere else, and

341
00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:38,840
Speaker 3: I was like, this is really a leap of faith.

342
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,520
Speaker 3: My family is all, you know, where I'm from, and

343
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:44,400
Speaker 3: I don't know if I can live anywhere else because

344
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:48,080
Speaker 3: my mindset was just it's difficult, and especially thinking about

345
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:52,280
Speaker 3: LA It's like it's fast and it's expensive.

346
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:53,919
Speaker 2: And you know, I'm just like, I don't know if

347
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,000
Speaker 2: I'll be able to do it.

348
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:58,439
Speaker 3: But I just told myself, put out those applications and

349
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:00,520
Speaker 3: if someone calls, you'll go from there.

350
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:03,280
Speaker 2: I did that, and I got some calls back.

351
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:07,119
Speaker 3: I started doing interviews virtually at the time, and this

352
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:11,679
Speaker 3: was right before the pandemic. I believed twenty eighteen is

353
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,359
Speaker 3: when I moved. So I was doing interviews and I

354
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:18,040
Speaker 3: ended up getting a job and I couldn't get a

355
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:21,879
Speaker 3: place because of you know, housing situation, and so I

356
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,960
Speaker 3: was commuting back and forth that I'm like, I'm not.

357
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:26,600
Speaker 2: Going to give up, but I was tired.

358
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:29,879
Speaker 3: And at this time, my oldest daughter was in college

359
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:33,800
Speaker 3: and my youngest daughter was still living with me, and

360
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,560
Speaker 3: I was trying to figure out how I would navigate

361
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:41,520
Speaker 3: that space. And my family told me that they were

362
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:44,159
Speaker 3: not going to help me with my daughter. So I

363
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,600
Speaker 3: was just really stressed. I'm sorry, I'm going to get

364
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:48,280
Speaker 3: emotional at.

365
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:49,200
Speaker 2: That time, and.

366
00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:53,680
Speaker 3: I thought, you know, things are lining up against me

367
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:57,199
Speaker 3: and this is not what's meant for me.

368
00:20:58,160 --> 00:20:59,520
Speaker 2: But I still didn't give up.

369
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:05,439
Speaker 3: And right before I was about to give up, I

370
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:08,480
Speaker 3: ain't ended up finding an apartment just randomly it fell

371
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:11,600
Speaker 3: in my lap, and I was like Okay, it's nothing,

372
00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:14,399
Speaker 3: but God, it may not be what I want, but

373
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,840
Speaker 3: it's what I need, and so I'm going to take it.

374
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:20,960
Speaker 2: I took the apartment, moved my daughter around to Los

375
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:24,359
Speaker 2: Angeles with me, and I enrolled her in school.

376
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:29,439
Speaker 3: The school told me that my daughter, because of the

377
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:32,280
Speaker 3: time that I took around to school and enrolled her,

378
00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:37,640
Speaker 3: would lose a year because she had missed her finals.

379
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:41,120
Speaker 3: And it just killed me. Because my daughter was stressed.

380
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:44,439
Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, they started to do virtual learning. She

381
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:47,320
Speaker 3: was already struggling, and I was like, this is all

382
00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:50,439
Speaker 3: because of me. And so I was like, did I

383
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:55,280
Speaker 3: make the right decision? And I continue to just try

384
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:58,720
Speaker 3: to do what I could, and I didn't have any support,

385
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:04,199
Speaker 3: and so my job became just my safe hayven and

386
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:09,040
Speaker 3: really point into my work and realizing, okay, I need

387
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:12,359
Speaker 3: to be that person that I need, and so I

388
00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:14,359
Speaker 3: just really started to give it by all. And I

389
00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:17,159
Speaker 3: was like, I'm not going to give up. There's no

390
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:19,440
Speaker 3: way that I can give up. I've come too far.

391
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:23,720
Speaker 3: I have too much to give back. And so my

392
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:27,480
Speaker 3: daughter brought the grace abad she graduated on time, she

393
00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:31,120
Speaker 3: completed everything. I was so proud of her, sometimes very

394
00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:33,800
Speaker 3: proud of her. He did everything she needed to do.

395
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:36,960
Speaker 3: Walked across this day Egyent. I was just like, okay,

396
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,680
Speaker 3: things are I'm looking up and I tell everybody when

397
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:43,520
Speaker 3: I became I'm forty four. Now, when I turned forty two,

398
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,040
Speaker 3: I think that's when I started to really become who

399
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,480
Speaker 3: I am because I didn't know who I was as

400
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:51,639
Speaker 3: a woman, as a person, even as a clinician.

401
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:53,600
Speaker 2: I don't think I really knew.

402
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:56,439
Speaker 3: I knew who I wanted to be, but I didn't

403
00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:59,840
Speaker 3: know exactly who I was. And so I started to

404
00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:04,439
Speaker 3: really lead into that and really feel, Okay, this is

405
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:06,640
Speaker 3: what I want to do, this is who I want

406
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:10,359
Speaker 3: to be. And I think at that time, I applied

407
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 3: for a job with the AMoD Institute. So I've seen

408
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:17,480
Speaker 3: it in the paper, you know, the position I had

409
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:21,720
Speaker 3: transferred for or relocated for with a position working with

410
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:22,960
Speaker 3: transitional age youth.

411
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:25,160
Speaker 2: And that's what I was doing with the county.

412
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:28,160
Speaker 3: And I did that for a little over a year

413
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:31,080
Speaker 3: with an agency called Homeless Healthcare Los Angeles. So I

414
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:34,880
Speaker 3: was working in skid roll and just working with individuals

415
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:38,160
Speaker 3: I'm stru struggling with homelessness that had come from out

416
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,719
Speaker 3: of state and they were between the agents of eighteen

417
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:41,440
Speaker 3: and twenty five.

418
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:43,720
Speaker 2: So I loved that program.

419
00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:47,159
Speaker 3: I built a lot of great relationships and through that

420
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:48,720
Speaker 3: I was like.

421
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:49,879
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm ready to grow.

422
00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:55,679
Speaker 3: And so being able to grow meant I wanted to

423
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:56,720
Speaker 3: look for another position.

424
00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:58,520
Speaker 2: I wanted to look for more money. You know.

425
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:02,080
Speaker 3: That was something that I struggle with asking for or

426
00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 3: even looking for, because I didn't believe I deserved it.

427
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:11,240
Speaker 3: And so I started to look for a position and

428
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:15,320
Speaker 3: I ran across the AMAD Institute. I did a phone interview,

429
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:18,560
Speaker 3: then I did a virtual interview, and then I did

430
00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:23,280
Speaker 3: an in person interview. And just as I'm crying now,

431
00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:25,560
Speaker 3: I was all emotional in there because they wanted to

432
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:27,960
Speaker 3: know my background, why do I want to work there?

433
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:29,160
Speaker 2: And a lot.

434
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:31,200
Speaker 3: Of people for those of you who don't know, or

435
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:34,000
Speaker 3: a lot of you won't, but the AMoD Institute is

436
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:38,639
Speaker 3: an agency that is unapologetically black. It is an agency

437
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:43,200
Speaker 3: that is tailored towards the LGBTQ community and communities of color,

438
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:47,600
Speaker 3: and a MOD stands for arming minorities against addiction and disease.

439
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 3: It also is a Swahili worsh for support. So everything

440
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:56,720
Speaker 3: that it aligned with with everything that I needed in

441
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,840
Speaker 3: that moment, and I didn't actually learn all of these

442
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:03,640
Speaker 3: things until I started to work there. So I now

443
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:06,439
Speaker 3: can say that that everything lined up and I needed

444
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:09,639
Speaker 3: that support. I needed an agency that was going to

445
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:12,960
Speaker 3: wrap their arms around me and truly give me everything

446
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:16,240
Speaker 3: that I was lacking, which was a community, and I

447
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:20,960
Speaker 3: found that with them, and so that's what then transitioned

448
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:25,960
Speaker 3: me to working with the LGBTQ community because I felt

449
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:31,239
Speaker 3: a commonality with the community. You know, I've felt like

450
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:33,800
Speaker 3: no one has seen me. I felt like no one

451
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,880
Speaker 3: has not No, I don't want to say I don't

452
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:40,199
Speaker 3: want to generalize, because there are people who have helped me,

453
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:43,600
Speaker 3: but there are people who have dropped the ball as well,

454
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:46,600
Speaker 3: and I have no problem saying that now. You know,

455
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:48,960
Speaker 3: I used to didn't want to call people out or

456
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:52,199
Speaker 3: make people feel bad, but I think it's important that

457
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:56,960
Speaker 3: people in certain positions know that it's okay to drop

458
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:58,679
Speaker 3: the ball as long as you pick it back up.

459
00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:01,320
Speaker 3: You know, a lot of us get in that space

460
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:04,040
Speaker 3: where we drop a ball and then we're scared to

461
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:05,680
Speaker 3: go back and we're like, Okay, I'm gonna just keep

462
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:06,440
Speaker 3: moving forward.

463
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:07,800
Speaker 2: Because I don't.

464
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:10,200
Speaker 3: Want to, you know, lose this momentum or I don't

465
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:12,840
Speaker 3: want to lose and you can't do that. You really

466
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:15,640
Speaker 3: have to take those steps back or stop if that's

467
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:18,640
Speaker 3: what you need to do, and revisit whatever it is,

468
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:21,080
Speaker 3: because that's how you learn and new behavior, and that's

469
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:23,560
Speaker 3: something I teach when I'm working with my clients.

470
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 2: But that going into something else.

471
00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:28,880
Speaker 3: So yeah, so that's my story a little bit about

472
00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:34,120
Speaker 3: because there's a lot more, but that's some of my story. Wow,

473
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:42,639
Speaker 3: thank you Linelle for sharing so candidly and transparently your

474
00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:46,640
Speaker 3: story with us. I am more than sure that there

475
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:52,840
Speaker 3: are lots of folks listening who can relate to your

476
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:57,399
Speaker 3: experience and all the various things that you've been through

477
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:02,600
Speaker 3: and when you reflect on and I'm gonna I know

478
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:04,800
Speaker 3: we sent you ahead of time a whole list of

479
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:07,640
Speaker 3: the interview questions, but I'm gonna see that because that's

480
00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:13,640
Speaker 3: just what that flow in the moment. And so when

481
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:20,240
Speaker 3: you reflect on who you are now, right and you said,

482
00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:23,320
Speaker 3: like like today in this moment at forty four, like

483
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,800
Speaker 3: you are in a space where you fully embrace an

484
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:28,040
Speaker 3: acknowledge who you are.

485
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:31,680
Speaker 2: You reflect on who you are now.

486
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:37,520
Speaker 5: All of the various experiences that you've had leading to now,

487
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:42,200
Speaker 5: what do you think is the thing that.

488
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:46,080
Speaker 2: Keeps you going?

489
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 5: So there's the there was a lot that you shared,

490
00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 5: and there were and you acknowledge it, there were moments

491
00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:55,440
Speaker 5: where you wanted to give up in this current season

492
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:56,280
Speaker 5: of your life.

493
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:02,040
Speaker 3: What is the thing that you going that keeps you motivated?

494
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:08,719
Speaker 3: Knowing that there is hope, knowing that change can happen.

495
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:12,080
Speaker 3: I think that those are the two things that really

496
00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:14,880
Speaker 3: keep me going because I've seen it, and I've been

497
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 3: there and I've done that. And sometimes we think we

498
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:22,480
Speaker 3: can't change, you know, or the space that we that

499
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:25,440
Speaker 3: we're in is the only space that we belonged in,

500
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:29,520
Speaker 3: and that's not true. And for a long time, that's

501
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:32,879
Speaker 3: where I was at, you know. And I know that

502
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:35,920
Speaker 3: you shouldn't have to move away from a place to

503
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:37,119
Speaker 3: be able to feel free.

504
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:38,280
Speaker 2: But that's what I needed.

505
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:40,960
Speaker 3: I'm not saying that that's what everyone will need, but

506
00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:45,200
Speaker 3: I needed to really separate myself from the town and

507
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:48,760
Speaker 3: my family and my friends and just the mindset that

508
00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:52,320
Speaker 3: I had, because that mindset is what was holding me

509
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 3: back and preventing me from being my full self. Was

510
00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:59,480
Speaker 3: then stopping me because I was still, you know, moving

511
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:02,080
Speaker 3: on my journey, but it was preventing me.

512
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:03,240
Speaker 2: From being my full self.

513
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:06,960
Speaker 3: I'm still just processing everything you shared, lenew And this

514
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,800
Speaker 3: is just Oh, we started off strong with this, with

515
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:14,160
Speaker 3: this conversation. Earlier, we said scrap the questions. We're gonna

516
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:16,880
Speaker 3: let spirit flow, and we flow. And so I'm thinking

517
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:20,080
Speaker 3: about what you share before, Lenell, and I'm thinking about

518
00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:22,800
Speaker 3: the parallels between my own experience and if I think

519
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:25,080
Speaker 3: about my family, I could name a dozen people who

520
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:27,680
Speaker 3: were locked up, like easily who were locked up.

521
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:29,480
Speaker 2: And I think about, you know, going up to prison

522
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:30,040
Speaker 2: to visit them.

523
00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 3: I think about sending my mom letters via JP and

524
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:35,360
Speaker 3: stuff like that. And when I think about your story

525
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 3: and my experience, I was so accustomed to that environment

526
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:41,160
Speaker 3: it became the norm for me.

527
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:42,600
Speaker 2: So it was embarrassing.

528
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:44,760
Speaker 3: I wouldn't share the stories with other people, But when

529
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,800
Speaker 3: I think about the person, it was easy for me

530
00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:51,240
Speaker 3: to see the humanity and the people the society through away.

531
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:54,600
Speaker 2: People who made terrible mistakes right, people who hurt other people.

532
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:57,120
Speaker 2: I still loved them, I still care for them.

533
00:29:57,120 --> 00:29:59,560
Speaker 3: I still believed and then I forgave them, and I

534
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:01,960
Speaker 3: still so them as human and I think that a

535
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:03,920
Speaker 3: lot of times when I interact with people who do

536
00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:06,840
Speaker 3: have a record who had those experiences, there's a lot

537
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:09,400
Speaker 3: of shame and unworthiness that comes from that. But I

538
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:12,760
Speaker 3: didn't have trouble really seeing their worthiness because I loved them.

539
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:14,600
Speaker 3: I saw the humanity and them. So my question for

540
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 3: you is, how did you navigate if you experience feelings

541
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 3: of shame? How did you navigate that? And how did

542
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:24,360
Speaker 3: you find your worth? Because looking at you today, despite

543
00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:27,960
Speaker 3: what you've been through, you are beautiful, Like your spirit

544
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,200
Speaker 3: is beautiful, you are physically beautiful. I mean, you are

545
00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:33,600
Speaker 3: just a beautiful person. And you didn't even go into

546
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:35,520
Speaker 3: the details of what happened and what you did, but

547
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:37,920
Speaker 3: you're not defined by that, and that's what I believed.

548
00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 2: But how did you get to a place where.

549
00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:41,480
Speaker 3: You didn't feel like you were defined from that and

550
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 3: you didn't feel that shame?

551
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:46,240
Speaker 2: Honestly, Terry, I still struggle, you know.

552
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:48,280
Speaker 3: I mean, I think we all struggle with a little

553
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:53,360
Speaker 3: bit of implots, their syndromes, and so mine is just different,

554
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:56,680
Speaker 3: you know, because people struggle with that if they haven't

555
00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:59,000
Speaker 3: been to prison or jail, you know, they may feel

556
00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:01,440
Speaker 3: like they don't deserve to be in a room, or

557
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:04,800
Speaker 3: they're not smart enough to engage with a certain person.

558
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:09,960
Speaker 3: So I still struggle with that in certain rooms, I guess,

559
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:13,280
Speaker 3: I'll say, but not in all rooms. And I say

560
00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:16,960
Speaker 3: that because the more I strengthen my muscle, the more

561
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:19,480
Speaker 3: I'm in spaces like this where I'm able to share

562
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:23,480
Speaker 3: my story. This gives me my power back when I

563
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:27,400
Speaker 3: did try not to talk about it, and and.

564
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:30,160
Speaker 2: I've always talked about it, but it's been very surface level.

565
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:34,880
Speaker 2: And so when I am able to dig a little

566
00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:39,160
Speaker 2: deeper in and share my story, that's when I think

567
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:41,959
Speaker 2: I'm in my best and that's when I learned the

568
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:44,720
Speaker 2: most and I heal a little bit more every time.

569
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:50,200
Speaker 2: So it is getting easier, but there are times that

570
00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:59,640
Speaker 2: I do still struggle. I mean, I'm human.

571
00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:02,200
Speaker 3: Works yet, and I appreciate the transparency and the authenticity

572
00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:04,480
Speaker 3: there because there are things that I still feel shame

573
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:06,360
Speaker 3: about as well, and it's like there are in areas

574
00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 3: where I grow, I'm like, Okay, this other area I

575
00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:11,240
Speaker 3: still have to work on. So thank you for being transparent.

576
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:14,600
Speaker 3: And it sounds like the key here is just to

577
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:17,840
Speaker 3: be patient with yourself and to continue to put yourself

578
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:20,400
Speaker 3: in situations, like you said, where you can get your

579
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:22,360
Speaker 3: power back, like these types of settings.

580
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:25,480
Speaker 2: So that makes perfect sense. Thank you for sharing. You're welcome.

581
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:28,280
Speaker 3: My saying is to give yourself grace. I always tell

582
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:30,920
Speaker 3: my clients that because at the end of the day,

583
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:34,440
Speaker 3: if you don't give yourself grace, who will?

584
00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:35,880
Speaker 2: Right? Right?

585
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:44,920
Speaker 5: And so, speaking of your clients, how, how does your

586
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:49,200
Speaker 5: personal life experiences And I know you know, going through

587
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:53,840
Speaker 5: graduate school, they you know, oftentimes is westernized, white male

588
00:32:53,960 --> 00:33:00,520
Speaker 5: ways being. Yes, they teach us to be like blanks

589
00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:03,720
Speaker 5: and him to not really share a lot of yourself

590
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:10,560
Speaker 5: in the therapy space. Yes, but most of us, particularly

591
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:15,080
Speaker 5: black women therapists, we know that that does not compute

592
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:19,240
Speaker 5: with our with the communities that we work with, right, And.

593
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:27,320
Speaker 3: So how do you navigate that line of self disclosure

594
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:33,280
Speaker 3: and using self as a tool to help your clients

595
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:39,040
Speaker 3: in therapy? So I work with several different populations by

596
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 3: nine to five, I specifically work with a re entry program,

597
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:47,800
Speaker 3: so highlight the fact, and actually my program highlights the

598
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:51,400
Speaker 3: fact that our whole team has lived experience, and so

599
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:56,160
Speaker 3: I'm able to share my experiences. I don't share details, obviously,

600
00:33:56,240 --> 00:34:00,160
Speaker 3: but I share that, you know, I've been incarcerated as well.

601
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:03,200
Speaker 3: You know, I share about my journey and having to

602
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:06,400
Speaker 3: fight the board to get licensed. You know, I share

603
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:11,480
Speaker 3: those things because those are the nuggets that are left

604
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:15,360
Speaker 3: out when people are telling their stories and when someone

605
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:17,920
Speaker 3: usually tells you no or tries to close that door

606
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:21,160
Speaker 3: and says, you can't do this because to get license

607
00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:23,600
Speaker 3: in the state of California, you can't have a felony

608
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,280
Speaker 3: or you can't have this type of crime. Some people

609
00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:28,799
Speaker 3: will just believe that, and so I like it to

610
00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:30,640
Speaker 3: tell them you don't have to believe that.

611
00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:32,840
Speaker 2: That doesn't have to be your narrative.

612
00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:37,279
Speaker 3: And so that's why I do share, you know, my

613
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:42,440
Speaker 3: background and what's going on now. With my private practice,

614
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:46,880
Speaker 3: I work with the LGBTQ community and women of color.

615
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:50,520
Speaker 3: They may not ask me those specific things. They do

616
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 3: ask me things that are specific to them. And so

617
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:56,000
Speaker 3: they may ask me, have you worked with anyone like

618
00:34:56,080 --> 00:35:00,120
Speaker 3: me before? Or have you worked with the trans community,

619
00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:01,480
Speaker 3: or you know, are you a.

620
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:02,919
Speaker 2: Mother or whatever it may be.

621
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:09,080
Speaker 3: And so it's a little more I guess generalized with

622
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:12,480
Speaker 3: my private practice because I'm very specific with the populations

623
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:15,160
Speaker 3: that I'm working with and then I also have a

624
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:18,759
Speaker 3: consulting business. My consulting business specifically is where the re

625
00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:22,160
Speaker 3: entry community as well, so it is an area where

626
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:27,480
Speaker 3: I'm able to share and highlight my professional and personal

627
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:31,040
Speaker 3: development because that's what I do with the re entry community,

628
00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 3: a personal on professional development. So it just depends on

629
00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:37,000
Speaker 3: the space that I'm in. But that's what I also

630
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:40,920
Speaker 3: love about living in LA. It's very diverse and I

631
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:43,279
Speaker 3: was able to connect, which is why I said, you know,

632
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:47,840
Speaker 3: everything happened exactly how it was supposed to because everything

633
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:51,960
Speaker 3: that my life has brought me, I'm able to repurpose

634
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:53,440
Speaker 3: and use in my business.

635
00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:56,080
Speaker 2: Oh cool, I love that.

636
00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:01,600
Speaker 3: Okay, And as you were listing you know your businesses

637
00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:04,319
Speaker 3: and expertise in what should be doing. I'm like, you

638
00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:07,400
Speaker 3: are such an inspiration. But I also just sharing what's possible.

639
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:09,520
Speaker 3: And I know sometimes when we're going through our situation,

640
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:12,080
Speaker 3: sometimes we don't want to hear like, oh it's gonna

641
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:12,839
Speaker 3: make sense one day.

642
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,080
Speaker 2: Oh there's a lesson right I'm going through right now,

643
00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:15,759
Speaker 2: I'm trying to hear that.

644
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:19,359
Speaker 3: But in hindsight on the shore, you can see like, okay,

645
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:21,400
Speaker 3: connecting the dots right on how it all?

646
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,959
Speaker 2: Oh, it's all making sense now. And so you talked

647
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:28,160
Speaker 2: a bit about giving yourself grace before? What does it

648
00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:30,480
Speaker 2: look like to give yourself grace like in action?

649
00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:33,040
Speaker 3: If someone is listening and maybe they've experienced some of

650
00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:34,000
Speaker 3: these things and they're like.

651
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 2: Okay, give me some practical tool, like what can I do?

652
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:39,719
Speaker 2: What does it look like? So I mentioned earlier about

653
00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:45,160
Speaker 2: slowing down, So giving yourself grace is stopping and not

654
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 2: blaming yourselves, not holding yourself accountable every single time something happens,

655
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:53,799
Speaker 2: like we shared a few minutes ago. We're human, so

656
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:57,319
Speaker 2: we're gonna make mistakes. Nobody's perfect, and so we have

657
00:36:57,440 --> 00:37:01,080
Speaker 2: to remember that a lot of these skills that we

658
00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:05,560
Speaker 2: learned or learn skills, we don't just come out with them.

659
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:11,080
Speaker 2: So you can't expect yourself to, you know, everything, because

660
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:15,120
Speaker 2: you didn't learn everything. We learn math, English and what history,

661
00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:19,400
Speaker 2: what social studies whatever they taught us in school, but

662
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:22,680
Speaker 2: they didn't teach us how to overcome barriers. They didn't

663
00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:25,359
Speaker 2: teach us how to be patient. They didn't even teach

664
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:28,439
Speaker 2: us how to really communicate effectively, you know, And that's

665
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 2: something once again when you're going to therapy, and of

666
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:34,560
Speaker 2: course I'm an advocate for therapy, and I'm still in therapy.

667
00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:38,239
Speaker 2: I still go to therapy every week, even though you know,

668
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:41,520
Speaker 2: I come a long way. But I think therapy is

669
00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:46,200
Speaker 2: extremely important because it's another level of teaching. So giving

670
00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:51,320
Speaker 2: yourself grace is learning. It's being patient and not trying

671
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 2: to always force yourself to do something, not holding yourself

672
00:37:56,160 --> 00:38:00,279
Speaker 2: to someone else's standard, And that's something that I think

673
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:04,319
Speaker 2: is extremely important. It's something that I always start with

674
00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:06,920
Speaker 2: when I'm doing therapy as well. I start with awareness

675
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:09,680
Speaker 2: because a lot of us don't even know the things

676
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:11,799
Speaker 2: that we're doing or need to work on, or if

677
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:14,560
Speaker 2: we have any traumas or any of those things. So

678
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:15,920
Speaker 2: I start with awareness.

679
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:20,879
Speaker 3: Then, you know, we work on tools, whatever that may

680
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:25,359
Speaker 3: look like, because everyone learns differently. And then we go

681
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:30,879
Speaker 3: to what are your core values because we usually take

682
00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:35,280
Speaker 3: everybody else's values. With us as a child, it's our parents' values.

683
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:38,200
Speaker 3: We're in school, it's our teachers and everyone around us,

684
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:41,120
Speaker 3: you know, and then it's our friends and different things.

685
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:44,040
Speaker 3: And when we become adults, we're supposed to figure out

686
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:45,920
Speaker 3: what our own values are, but we don't know that.

687
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:48,560
Speaker 3: We're like, oh, yeah, I know what my value morals

688
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:52,000
Speaker 3: and values are. But then you wonder why you're struggling.

689
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:57,319
Speaker 3: You wonder why those relationships aren't healthy because the way

690
00:38:57,360 --> 00:39:00,680
Speaker 3: that you're driving yourself, you let somebody.

691
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:03,120
Speaker 2: Else really drive you around driving yourself.

692
00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:07,279
Speaker 3: You know. So y'all like that's a word right there,

693
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:13,600
Speaker 3: that's the word apach it. Yeah, So it's important for

694
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:16,839
Speaker 3: me to help people find out what their core values are,

695
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:20,479
Speaker 3: you know, what's important to you, what makes you take

696
00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:24,600
Speaker 3: and then we can build off of that.

697
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:27,120
Speaker 2: That is so beautiful, so insightful.

698
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:29,799
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for sharing those practical tips that

699
00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:32,239
Speaker 3: someone can use if they're trying to figure out what

700
00:39:32,239 --> 00:39:34,680
Speaker 3: does it looks like to give myself grace? We dove

701
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:37,960
Speaker 3: in deep, like from the minute number one of this interview,

702
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:39,919
Speaker 3: right so what we want to do, and it's been great,

703
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:42,600
Speaker 3: Like there's no like, it's been amazing, and we want

704
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:44,640
Speaker 3: to shift up the energy just a little bit now.

705
00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:49,839
Speaker 3: And because we recognize and appreciate and celebrate the multifaceted woman,

706
00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:52,200
Speaker 3: and we believe that it's okay to be bougie and

707
00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:56,000
Speaker 3: classy and pat shit and you can still be elegant

708
00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:59,080
Speaker 3: and thence to strip club music if you so choose

709
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:03,520
Speaker 3: we would invite you to the ou Blatchett segment.

710
00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:07,200
Speaker 2: Do you take on the challenge? I do? I take

711
00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:07,600
Speaker 2: it on.

712
00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:12,880
Speaker 5: I love that so well.

713
00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:15,400
Speaker 3: We're going to do Now, we're gonna ask you three questions.

714
00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:19,239
Speaker 3: We're going to share three sentence completions, and then we

715
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:22,120
Speaker 3: are going to share a photo. We have three photos

716
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:23,759
Speaker 3: that we found to be on social media and it

717
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:25,200
Speaker 3: was very photos.

718
00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:28,680
Speaker 2: It was very hard to find. Okay, we have these three.

719
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:30,640
Speaker 3: Photos, and what we want you to do is we're

720
00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:32,399
Speaker 3: gonna have you choosing number out of one and three

721
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:34,759
Speaker 3: or reveal that photo on the big screen, and we

722
00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:37,239
Speaker 3: want you to tell us about the photo, give us

723
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:39,319
Speaker 3: some context about the photo that we wouldn't know just

724
00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:42,080
Speaker 3: by looking at it. So we're gonna jump into the

725
00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:45,640
Speaker 3: questions first. So the first question for you is what's

726
00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:49,520
Speaker 3: the best piece of wisdom or advice you've ever received.

727
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:54,920
Speaker 2: To be authentically me?

728
00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:59,279
Speaker 3: And I think that's the best advice I've received because

729
00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:01,040
Speaker 3: at the time I didn't know what it really meant.

730
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:06,040
Speaker 3: And now I utilize that as code switching.

731
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:08,280
Speaker 2: I don't use the word code switching anymore, but.

732
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:12,840
Speaker 3: That's what I feel I am doing when I'm authentically me.

733
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:17,759
Speaker 2: And so with you sharing you know, you like to

734
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:19,279
Speaker 2: be able to dance and be.

735
00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:24,760
Speaker 3: Whatever, ratchet, blatchet, whatever, boogie, whatever it is. I feel

736
00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:27,560
Speaker 3: like that speaks to being authentically me. And I've been

737
00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:31,200
Speaker 3: able to step into that space. And so that's what

738
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:31,840
Speaker 3: I think about.

739
00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:33,240
Speaker 2: I hear that's it.

740
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:37,520
Speaker 3: Okay, I love that. I love that being authentically you.

741
00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:41,799
Speaker 3: All right, so we find out we don't.

742
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:43,840
Speaker 5: Find out what's authentically you.

743
00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:50,440
Speaker 3: And next, okay, so we have four words for you. Okay,

744
00:41:50,719 --> 00:41:52,400
Speaker 3: work or two step?

745
00:41:53,760 --> 00:42:00,879
Speaker 2: Two step? All right? Yes it's la because tour. Yeah,

746
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:03,480
Speaker 2: it's okay.

747
00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:06,000
Speaker 3: We've had moments on the podcast we should revealed our

748
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:10,080
Speaker 3: our rhythm challenge at times, even as black women like everybody,

749
00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:13,080
Speaker 3: I'm not everybody, they don't do a little something.

750
00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:15,960
Speaker 2: So it ain't not wrong with it. I got some rhythm,

751
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:17,279
Speaker 2: but I can't work.

752
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:22,000
Speaker 3: My third question for you, Lenelle, is what's the sexiest

753
00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:23,120
Speaker 3: item you own?

754
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:29,400
Speaker 2: Ooh, this is probably boring.

755
00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:33,480
Speaker 3: I can't but the sexiest out of my own is

756
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:35,680
Speaker 3: probably a shoe.

757
00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:37,280
Speaker 2: Oh what kind of shoe?

758
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:37,600
Speaker 3: What is it?

759
00:42:37,719 --> 00:42:38,960
Speaker 2: Looks like? What color?

760
00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:43,640
Speaker 3: I love shoes period, So heels are just like my

761
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:47,960
Speaker 3: thing and I just love a strappy heel. So yeah,

762
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:51,600
Speaker 3: I have a colorful little strappy hell yeah.

763
00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:51,560
Speaker 4: Yeah.

764
00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:54,000
Speaker 2: I love a good shop. I love a good ship.

765
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:58,920
Speaker 3: But I'm pretty bored and I'm like, man, my foundation

766
00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:01,040
Speaker 3: was in church, so and I'm not just not to

767
00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:04,759
Speaker 3: say church people are born to the listeners, but I'm

768
00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:08,520
Speaker 3: just saying, you know, I'm just not really, I don't know,

769
00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:11,000
Speaker 3: that's crazy. I need to give me some lies reusing

770
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:12,759
Speaker 3: because now I feel like the all test to me.

771
00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:19,160
Speaker 3: We want you to be your AUTHENTICLF, and you can

772
00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:21,200
Speaker 3: authentically be.

773
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:24,600
Speaker 5: You in that sexy, strappy heel.

774
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:29,680
Speaker 3: Yes I can, Yes, I can. And so now we're

775
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:33,080
Speaker 3: going to move to our sentence completion. So the first

776
00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:38,200
Speaker 3: sentence completion is one question or topic I wish people

777
00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:40,000
Speaker 3: asked me about more often.

778
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:42,319
Speaker 4: Is my.

779
00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:45,920
Speaker 2: Relationship?

780
00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:51,799
Speaker 3: Oh well, or maybe like ell, you know, I just

781
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:54,359
Speaker 3: feel like I need to talk about that more. It's

782
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,800
Speaker 3: something that I don't often talk about and you know,

783
00:43:57,600 --> 00:44:01,600
Speaker 3: you know, single and I I'm growing in that area

784
00:44:01,719 --> 00:44:04,920
Speaker 3: for it is an area that I want to embrace more.

785
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:06,640
Speaker 3: So I think I need to talk about it more

786
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:10,360
Speaker 3: to be able to embrace it more. Well, Terry, you

787
00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:13,200
Speaker 3: want to let them right, let him up so you

788
00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:17,000
Speaker 3: won't believe less, Lanelle. But the next sentence completion is

789
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:21,040
Speaker 3: what I would share about my relationship status right now.

790
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:25,000
Speaker 2: On what I'm learning is that I need to be

791
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:29,480
Speaker 2: in one now, let's just twel No. What I'm learning

792
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:30,000
Speaker 2: is that.

793
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:32,920
Speaker 3: I was never ready to be in one. I didn't

794
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:36,760
Speaker 3: know what healthy relationships look like. I had never had

795
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:42,080
Speaker 3: any real conversations honestly just about dating and never really dated.

796
00:44:42,239 --> 00:44:44,640
Speaker 2: And so I now know what I want that to

797
00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:49,399
Speaker 2: look like, so I am ready for it. So yeah,

798
00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:51,440
Speaker 2: that's preta beutiful. That is.

799
00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:54,080
Speaker 3: We're all about manifestation two. So we're send you good

800
00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:59,120
Speaker 3: energy way Okay. I received it, yes, desire, and I

801
00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:02,640
Speaker 3: love it. And that takes us to our last one time.

802
00:45:02,719 --> 00:45:04,920
Speaker 3: Our last thing is completion before we hop into the photo.

803
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:06,120
Speaker 2: Well.

804
00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:11,960
Speaker 5: Part of being in a healthy relationship also requires knowing

805
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:17,160
Speaker 5: yourself right yes, And so our final sentence completion is

806
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:21,520
Speaker 5: what I love most about myself is.

807
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:26,000
Speaker 2: My energy.

808
00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:31,439
Speaker 3: I think I have very connupitive energy and I am

809
00:45:31,560 --> 00:45:35,760
Speaker 3: able to really influence people with that energy off ground,

810
00:45:35,880 --> 00:45:39,799
Speaker 3: and so I love that just about me, the part

811
00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:41,280
Speaker 3: I plan people's lives.

812
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:48,040
Speaker 2: I see it, I feel it. Thank you now I'm

813
00:45:48,080 --> 00:45:49,440
Speaker 2: scared to see this picture.

814
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:52,160
Speaker 3: Well, Lockily, I was gonna say it was very hard

815
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:54,400
Speaker 3: to find pictures on social media, so I don't know

816
00:45:54,400 --> 00:45:56,920
Speaker 3: if we just couldn't find the right page. But we

817
00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:02,600
Speaker 3: did some google it and they're all good pictures. So okay, yes,

818
00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:04,560
Speaker 3: all right, don't be too work. I was taking a

819
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:07,120
Speaker 3: social media clans this week, so many if you look

820
00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:08,560
Speaker 3: this week, that could be why.

821
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:11,760
Speaker 2: Okay, that's why. Then yep, you're right, okay, so we missed.

822
00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:13,839
Speaker 3: We missed out because of the social media cleanse, which

823
00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:14,880
Speaker 3: is totally okay.

824
00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:17,000
Speaker 2: But we do have a photo, a couple of photos

825
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:17,400
Speaker 2: pulled up.

826
00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:19,560
Speaker 3: So if you can choose a number out of one

827
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:23,919
Speaker 3: in three, we'll go ahead and two two, all right,

828
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:24,640
Speaker 3: let's see.

829
00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:27,080
Speaker 2: This is cute. Okay, let's do it.

830
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:29,719
Speaker 3: So what we'll do, Lennelle, if you can first describe

831
00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:32,400
Speaker 3: the photo for folks that are only listening to the podcast,

832
00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:35,080
Speaker 3: and then after you describe it, give us some context

833
00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:37,239
Speaker 3: about the photo that we wouldn't know about the day

834
00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:38,240
Speaker 3: or whenever it happened.

835
00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:40,799
Speaker 2: But this is a fly photo. This is cute. It's

836
00:46:40,840 --> 00:46:46,800
Speaker 2: given Okay, all right, it's getting it's getting.

837
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:50,720
Speaker 3: Yeah. Look, look it's not my fol shit.

838
00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:51,800
Speaker 2: Okay.

839
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:56,880
Speaker 3: So so the picture is a picture of me standing

840
00:46:56,920 --> 00:47:00,000
Speaker 3: in front of a tree with my hand under my chain,

841
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:04,000
Speaker 3: and you know, I'm trying to get sophisticated, and.

842
00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:06,280
Speaker 2: You know I'm trying to give I know what I'm doing.

843
00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:09,279
Speaker 2: That's what I was trying to give of y'all.

844
00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:12,600
Speaker 3: This this is the first picture ever that I took

845
00:47:13,719 --> 00:47:15,440
Speaker 3: as far as a professional photo.

846
00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:19,360
Speaker 2: And my cousin took this in her front yard and

847
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:19,839
Speaker 2: we just.

848
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:22,720
Speaker 3: I have been using it every since and I'm laughing

849
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:24,840
Speaker 3: because I just can't believe I'm still using the picture.

850
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:25,920
Speaker 2: But it is a good picture.

851
00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:31,120
Speaker 3: Literally, we just did it with a little ocophone and

852
00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:33,040
Speaker 3: she was like, no, get over there and do this

853
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:36,120
Speaker 3: and start. It was like three or four pictures. And

854
00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:39,480
Speaker 3: at the time I was also doing a live stream

855
00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:42,719
Speaker 3: on Facebook and so I needed some photos and so

856
00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:45,400
Speaker 3: that was another reason I did this, because I needed

857
00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:48,719
Speaker 3: to utilize them for that and it's perfect. I love

858
00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:52,240
Speaker 3: the shirt too, the shirt the sea thingfu yes, wow,

859
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:53,200
Speaker 3: look at the journey.

860
00:47:53,239 --> 00:47:56,759
Speaker 2: It's just like, yeah, bring everything full circle. Wow wow wow.

861
00:47:57,440 --> 00:48:00,239
Speaker 3: No. Thank you so much for participating in the you

862
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:03,040
Speaker 3: Blatchet segment with us We're going to dive back into

863
00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:06,799
Speaker 3: some other questions here, and one of the questions I

864
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:08,480
Speaker 3: thought about as you were speaking, I thought it was

865
00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:11,759
Speaker 3: so interesting that you said you truly found yourself or

866
00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:14,200
Speaker 3: like started finding yourself at forty two. You know, I

867
00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:18,000
Speaker 3: feel like sometimes people put these these expectations on themselves

868
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:19,920
Speaker 3: on when they need to find themselves, and usually thirty

869
00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:21,560
Speaker 3: is like a big milestone. We're like, Okay, got to

870
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:24,560
Speaker 3: have everything together by thirty. And so when you think

871
00:48:24,600 --> 00:48:27,880
Speaker 3: about finding yourself a forty two, what else would you

872
00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:29,960
Speaker 3: want to share with us or even the listeners who

873
00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:32,560
Speaker 3: might be thinking that they have to meet this sort

874
00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:36,320
Speaker 3: of milestone, this expectation by the way of milestones and

875
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:38,960
Speaker 3: what society says they achieve. What are your thoughts on

876
00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:43,600
Speaker 3: that and any insights you've learned what my thoughts are

877
00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:46,200
Speaker 3: on it are, don't put yourself in a bad box

878
00:48:47,040 --> 00:48:50,239
Speaker 3: once again, give yourself grace and like I've said over

879
00:48:50,280 --> 00:48:52,920
Speaker 3: and over and that's why it's my mind trands filed.

880
00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:56,000
Speaker 3: You have really had. You can't hold yourself to those

881
00:48:56,120 --> 00:48:59,759
Speaker 3: other standards. Those individuals haven't gone through the thing that

882
00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:03,000
Speaker 3: you have gone through. They're not experiencing the barriers that

883
00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:07,640
Speaker 3: you're experiencing. And this is also a new day and age.

884
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:10,120
Speaker 3: You know, a lot of things are happening now that

885
00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:14,120
Speaker 3: didn't happen years ago, whether it be ten, twenty thirty years,

886
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:18,880
Speaker 3: sometimes last year, you know, so you really have to

887
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:21,600
Speaker 3: give yourself grace in those areas and make sure that

888
00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:25,080
Speaker 3: you're not competing with anyone, you know, and if you

889
00:49:25,120 --> 00:49:28,040
Speaker 3: are going to compete, compete with yourselves, you know the saying,

890
00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:31,400
Speaker 3: you know, just be better than you were yesterday. And

891
00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:34,200
Speaker 3: as long as you're changing at least one little thing

892
00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:36,800
Speaker 3: that's moving you in the right direction.

893
00:49:37,440 --> 00:49:39,560
Speaker 2: Don't think that you have to do ten.

894
00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:44,120
Speaker 3: Things to in one day to make you successful. It

895
00:49:44,160 --> 00:49:47,280
Speaker 3: took us twenty steps to get to that twenty first step.

896
00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:50,239
Speaker 3: You can't hop over all those steps and think you're

897
00:49:50,280 --> 00:49:52,080
Speaker 3: just going to make it there. You have to take

898
00:49:52,080 --> 00:49:54,560
Speaker 3: the steps, and so this is the same thing. Just

899
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:57,359
Speaker 3: remember one step at a time, one day at a time,

900
00:49:57,840 --> 00:50:00,840
Speaker 3: one hour at a time, depending on what you're going through,

901
00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:03,880
Speaker 3: but you know it is possible, and don't give up

902
00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:06,360
Speaker 3: on yourselves because everybody else might.

903
00:50:06,239 --> 00:50:07,080
Speaker 2: Give up on you.

904
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:10,440
Speaker 3: But if you continue to believe in yourselves, people will

905
00:50:10,480 --> 00:50:11,439
Speaker 3: start to follow suit.

906
00:50:13,520 --> 00:50:18,160
Speaker 5: Yes, yes, ooh, come through with the words of wisdom.

907
00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:21,239
Speaker 2: Okay. So well, now.

908
00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:24,080
Speaker 3: As you you know, we're sharing your story. One of

909
00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:31,600
Speaker 3: the things that you mentioned was that the California Border

910
00:50:31,640 --> 00:50:35,840
Speaker 3: Behavioral Science, Yes, puts and I'm trying to control my

911
00:50:35,880 --> 00:50:39,520
Speaker 3: facial expression for those who are watching us on Patriot because.

912
00:50:41,280 --> 00:50:44,040
Speaker 5: It's my irritation with the systems, right.

913
00:50:44,760 --> 00:50:46,480
Speaker 2: Yeah.

914
00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:51,640
Speaker 3: And so as you were navigating the constant barriers that

915
00:50:51,680 --> 00:50:57,439
Speaker 3: they were putting in your way, Jodiful, did you.

916
00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:05,279
Speaker 5: What did you do to keep persisting? Like, what were

917
00:51:05,440 --> 00:51:08,560
Speaker 5: like some of the practical things that you would do

918
00:51:09,239 --> 00:51:12,360
Speaker 5: to keep persisting every time they tossed a new barrier

919
00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:15,319
Speaker 5: in your way? Because like, as you were sharing those barriers, I.

920
00:51:15,320 --> 00:51:18,440
Speaker 3: Was like, I might have walked away, I might have said,

921
00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:19,880
Speaker 3: let me figure out a new career.

922
00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:22,719
Speaker 5: But what are some of the practical things that you

923
00:51:22,880 --> 00:51:25,640
Speaker 5: did to keep yourself in that fight?

924
00:51:27,280 --> 00:51:30,280
Speaker 3: Well, as I shared my I'm grounded in my faith,

925
00:51:30,400 --> 00:51:35,680
Speaker 3: so pray. It was like number one, I would consistently pray,

926
00:51:36,680 --> 00:51:40,320
Speaker 3: whether I felt like I needed to or not crying.

927
00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:43,319
Speaker 3: I know sometimes we feel like we don't want to

928
00:51:43,360 --> 00:51:45,720
Speaker 3: cry or it's not going to do anything, but it

929
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:48,360
Speaker 3: does do something for us. It releases a lot of

930
00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:51,480
Speaker 3: that anxiety. It does kind of free you up so

931
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:55,360
Speaker 3: you can think clearly. And so I had to continuously

932
00:51:55,520 --> 00:51:59,400
Speaker 3: allow myself or get myself permission to cry and to

933
00:51:59,520 --> 00:52:01,080
Speaker 3: let go and to be weak.

934
00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:03,680
Speaker 2: That's another thing. Because it's black women.

935
00:52:03,800 --> 00:52:07,240
Speaker 3: We have that notion that we have to be strong

936
00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:10,160
Speaker 3: and oh and I have to continue to stick it through.

937
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:12,760
Speaker 2: And yes, I would.

938
00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:15,520
Speaker 3: Tell myself that, but I would also give myself that

939
00:52:15,719 --> 00:52:19,520
Speaker 3: space to rest. You know, I would tell myself, Okay, well,

940
00:52:19,520 --> 00:52:22,919
Speaker 3: we can't get everything done today, you know, So I'm

941
00:52:22,960 --> 00:52:26,480
Speaker 3: not going to stress it. If I can't get everything

942
00:52:26,520 --> 00:52:30,200
Speaker 3: done today, you know, I just have to acknowledge that. Okay,

943
00:52:30,239 --> 00:52:33,080
Speaker 3: I could do A, B and C and tomorrow I

944
00:52:33,200 --> 00:52:35,319
Speaker 3: have to start over again. I might still be working

945
00:52:35,360 --> 00:52:35,600
Speaker 3: on A.

946
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:36,440
Speaker 2: I don't know.

947
00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:39,040
Speaker 3: But if that's the case, I just have to be consistent.

948
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:42,120
Speaker 3: And I would wake up every morning telling myself that

949
00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:45,320
Speaker 3: you got this. It's gonna be okay. There were days

950
00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:47,720
Speaker 3: when I get in the car and screen if things

951
00:52:47,719 --> 00:52:49,879
Speaker 3: would happen, you know, because I'm like clothing, then I'll

952
00:52:49,880 --> 00:52:53,359
Speaker 3: be okay. You gave yourself five minutes to scream or

953
00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:54,480
Speaker 3: ten minutes to cry.

954
00:52:55,120 --> 00:52:56,680
Speaker 2: We got to get back on it. Now, that was

955
00:52:56,800 --> 00:52:57,640
Speaker 2: enough to give today.

956
00:52:58,480 --> 00:53:01,600
Speaker 3: So I do do a lot of you know, self talk,

957
00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:05,319
Speaker 3: or did, and I still do. Positive self talk is

958
00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:09,640
Speaker 3: huge because we don't get a lot of positivity often.

959
00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:12,200
Speaker 3: Well I don't want to speak for everyone, but I

960
00:53:12,239 --> 00:53:14,520
Speaker 3: know for me, I didn't give a lot of positive

961
00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:17,840
Speaker 3: statements or affirmation.

962
00:53:18,680 --> 00:53:21,120
Speaker 2: So I do it as.

963
00:53:20,960 --> 00:53:23,480
Speaker 3: Often as I can for myself because there was a

964
00:53:23,560 --> 00:53:26,839
Speaker 3: time when I've set into those negative thoughts and so

965
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:29,799
Speaker 3: I wasn't feeding into myself or pouring into my own cup.

966
00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:34,359
Speaker 3: So I had to learn to do that as well. Yes, yes,

967
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:37,200
Speaker 3: that is so important. We definitely talk about mantras and

968
00:53:37,239 --> 00:53:41,880
Speaker 3: affirmations and just the dialogue we have internally and speaking

969
00:53:41,920 --> 00:53:43,840
Speaker 3: of that one thing. Well, so many things that you

970
00:53:43,880 --> 00:53:47,720
Speaker 3: said were so intriguing. But I often hear about people

971
00:53:47,719 --> 00:53:51,120
Speaker 3: who represent themselves in court, and I'm always wondering, like,

972
00:53:51,320 --> 00:53:52,120
Speaker 3: how do you do that?

973
00:53:52,239 --> 00:53:54,920
Speaker 2: What does that even look like? How did you prepare?

974
00:53:55,040 --> 00:53:58,320
Speaker 2: What does that entail? Can you just let us know? Well,

975
00:53:59,080 --> 00:54:01,319
Speaker 2: tell you've been given a little more.

976
00:54:01,360 --> 00:54:03,080
Speaker 3: I used to want to be a lawyer, That's what

977
00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:06,480
Speaker 3: I wanted to be as a child, so I'm very

978
00:54:06,520 --> 00:54:08,600
Speaker 3: detail oriented, as you can tell.

979
00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:10,640
Speaker 2: I love to talk. It's folks.

980
00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:13,680
Speaker 3: I just felt like, Okay, this is gonna be my career,

981
00:54:13,840 --> 00:54:15,879
Speaker 3: you know, path I can get there and I could

982
00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:16,800
Speaker 3: prove somebody wrong.

983
00:54:16,960 --> 00:54:19,840
Speaker 2: We don't debate, and you know, I'm a win, you know.

984
00:54:21,880 --> 00:54:24,440
Speaker 3: But after that, I was like, Okay, I think the

985
00:54:24,560 --> 00:54:27,200
Speaker 3: main thing that made me represent myself is because when

986
00:54:27,200 --> 00:54:31,839
Speaker 3: I took my charges after reading, there were areas that

987
00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:36,120
Speaker 3: were not accurate, and if I would have read, or

988
00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:39,520
Speaker 3: if I would have been supported or had more knowledge

989
00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:45,000
Speaker 3: in that area, I would not have said that I

990
00:54:45,040 --> 00:54:47,719
Speaker 3: did it. And I'm not saying that's always true, but

991
00:54:47,800 --> 00:54:51,640
Speaker 3: it's just, you know, for a lot of cases, sometimes

992
00:54:52,360 --> 00:54:54,560
Speaker 3: you know, we don't read, we believe what the public

993
00:54:54,760 --> 00:54:57,360
Speaker 3: defender is telling us, and we just don't want to

994
00:54:57,360 --> 00:54:59,000
Speaker 3: get in trouble or don't want to do that much

995
00:54:59,040 --> 00:55:02,000
Speaker 3: time until we accept what they tell us. And that's

996
00:55:02,200 --> 00:55:05,400
Speaker 3: what I did. And so after I looked over everything,

997
00:55:05,440 --> 00:55:08,200
Speaker 3: I was like, this isn't true, this isn't true. This

998
00:55:08,560 --> 00:55:11,560
Speaker 3: is actually what gave me the feeling me And so

999
00:55:12,040 --> 00:55:17,640
Speaker 3: I was discouraged, disheartened, disappointed, But then I was also

1000
00:55:18,280 --> 00:55:20,879
Speaker 3: at the point where I had done my time, and

1001
00:55:20,920 --> 00:55:23,600
Speaker 3: I'm like, well, I did do something, and I had

1002
00:55:23,640 --> 00:55:25,880
Speaker 3: done other things, but I probably didn't get in trouble

1003
00:55:25,920 --> 00:55:29,480
Speaker 3: for so this is what I have to go to

1004
00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:32,719
Speaker 3: go through to be on the other side. And one

1005
00:55:32,760 --> 00:55:35,319
Speaker 3: thing that I didn't share when I was telling my

1006
00:55:35,440 --> 00:55:38,839
Speaker 3: story is that when I was incarcerated, really the hop

1007
00:55:38,880 --> 00:55:41,839
Speaker 3: moment I had and when I really decided that I

1008
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:44,399
Speaker 3: was going to go into this field, it's because there

1009
00:55:44,400 --> 00:55:48,960
Speaker 3: were individuals there that didn't have homes and they didn't

1010
00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:52,320
Speaker 3: have food, and they were in there because they didn't

1011
00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:55,439
Speaker 3: have those things and they needed that face. I had

1012
00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:58,919
Speaker 3: those things, even though once again, you know, I wasn't

1013
00:55:58,960 --> 00:56:00,600
Speaker 3: really engaging with my I.

1014
00:56:00,560 --> 00:56:02,279
Speaker 2: Did have a family I could go to if I

1015
00:56:02,320 --> 00:56:03,000
Speaker 2: really needed to.

1016
00:56:03,480 --> 00:56:06,960
Speaker 3: I did have, you know, family members' homes that were

1017
00:56:07,080 --> 00:56:10,080
Speaker 3: safe that I could have went through. But because at

1018
00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:12,080
Speaker 3: that time I was in the streets, I didn't have

1019
00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:14,080
Speaker 3: my parents, and I felt like I had to do

1020
00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:14,840
Speaker 3: it on my own.

1021
00:56:15,280 --> 00:56:16,880
Speaker 2: I wasn't receptive to that help.

1022
00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:20,520
Speaker 3: But being incarcerated really opened my eyes, like you were

1023
00:56:20,560 --> 00:56:24,120
Speaker 3: sharing Terry, just to a lot of the things. It

1024
00:56:24,239 --> 00:56:29,120
Speaker 3: just gave me more humility and opened up my humanity.

1025
00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:32,759
Speaker 3: I guess, and it pointed me in the direction that

1026
00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:33,640
Speaker 3: I'm in right now.

1027
00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:36,480
Speaker 2: Thank you for.

1028
00:56:36,480 --> 00:56:44,320
Speaker 5: Pointing that out and acknowledging that. And so, speaking of understanding.

1029
00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:49,800
Speaker 7: The experiences of people who have been incarcerated, in addition

1030
00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:53,280
Speaker 7: to understanding that cel folks really are there, they will

1031
00:56:54,239 --> 00:56:55,560
Speaker 7: commit crimes.

1032
00:56:55,200 --> 00:56:59,359
Speaker 3: To be placed there, to have that roof over their head.

1033
00:56:59,400 --> 00:57:03,359
Speaker 3: The studying me you, what, what is something else that

1034
00:57:03,440 --> 00:57:10,839
Speaker 3: you wish people knew and understood about the experiences of

1035
00:57:10,880 --> 00:57:15,840
Speaker 3: those who are incarcerated. I really want people to understand

1036
00:57:15,880 --> 00:57:20,080
Speaker 3: that everybody that gets incarcerated is not the same, so

1037
00:57:20,240 --> 00:57:23,040
Speaker 3: they don't need the same they don't need to be

1038
00:57:23,120 --> 00:57:25,000
Speaker 3: approached in the same way.

1039
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:29,080
Speaker 2: And I say that because a lot of the areas

1040
00:57:29,120 --> 00:57:30,000
Speaker 2: I did not get.

1041
00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:32,120
Speaker 3: Helpy, and I couldn't get help because I didn't have

1042
00:57:32,160 --> 00:57:37,160
Speaker 3: an addiction, or because I did graduate from school, so

1043
00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:40,760
Speaker 3: though they were like, well, you're smart, you don't need us,

1044
00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:44,360
Speaker 3: and so I couldn't get any assistance. And so I

1045
00:57:44,480 --> 00:57:50,000
Speaker 3: think that it's first of all stupid for any program

1046
00:57:50,320 --> 00:57:54,600
Speaker 3: or any organization to think that way, because obviously I

1047
00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:57,560
Speaker 3: was lacking something, which is why I made the decisions

1048
00:57:57,600 --> 00:58:00,520
Speaker 3: I was making, which is why I became incarcerated, and

1049
00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:02,840
Speaker 3: so I would not have been there if I would

1050
00:58:02,880 --> 00:58:05,080
Speaker 3: have had all the tools that I needed and was

1051
00:58:05,120 --> 00:58:08,920
Speaker 3: able to utilize them correctly. So I think it's important

1052
00:58:08,960 --> 00:58:12,440
Speaker 3: that people just acknowledge that there is no cookie cutter

1053
00:58:12,520 --> 00:58:18,960
Speaker 3: way to approach humans. You have to talk to that person,

1054
00:58:19,080 --> 00:58:21,040
Speaker 3: you have to build a rapport to figure out what

1055
00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:21,720
Speaker 3: they need.

1056
00:58:22,080 --> 00:58:24,720
Speaker 2: And that's how I approach therapy. That's one of the

1057
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:27,440
Speaker 2: main things I tell people. You're here and we're.

1058
00:58:27,240 --> 00:58:30,080
Speaker 3: Going to have a just a conversation, and I'm going

1059
00:58:30,160 --> 00:58:33,120
Speaker 3: to get to know you, and once we have that conversation,

1060
00:58:33,640 --> 00:58:35,800
Speaker 3: I'll be able to tell from there what you need

1061
00:58:35,840 --> 00:58:37,520
Speaker 3: from me, you know.

1062
00:58:37,600 --> 00:58:40,600
Speaker 2: And I also tell them they're the expert, because they are.

1063
00:58:41,080 --> 00:58:44,040
Speaker 2: I don't know them. They were telling to therapy to

1064
00:58:44,120 --> 00:58:45,760
Speaker 2: tell me about what's.

1065
00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:49,000
Speaker 3: Going on in their life, and I'm then there to

1066
00:58:49,120 --> 00:58:51,880
Speaker 3: help them process whatever comes up.

1067
00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:55,400
Speaker 2: But I'm not the expert. So at the end of

1068
00:58:55,440 --> 00:58:57,919
Speaker 2: the day, I'm there to listen. I'm there to help

1069
00:58:57,960 --> 00:58:59,400
Speaker 2: guide you. I'm there to.

1070
00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:04,200
Speaker 3: Help point them doubt that you probably haven't recognized the patterns,

1071
00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:07,320
Speaker 3: you know. And so that's how I started, and that's

1072
00:59:07,360 --> 00:59:11,000
Speaker 3: how I bridged the gap because when I was in therapy,

1073
00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:13,800
Speaker 3: it was just Okay, you're here and this is what

1074
00:59:13,840 --> 00:59:15,560
Speaker 3: you're going to work on. This is what I feel

1075
00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:17,880
Speaker 3: you need to work on, this is what I see

1076
00:59:18,360 --> 00:59:21,800
Speaker 3: needs to be worked on. And I'm like, Okay, well,

1077
00:59:21,840 --> 00:59:23,920
Speaker 3: what if what if I need to talk about my

1078
00:59:24,080 --> 00:59:26,120
Speaker 3: family or what if I want to talk about this

1079
00:59:26,240 --> 00:59:29,720
Speaker 3: and you just want to talk about my incarceration. And

1080
00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:32,640
Speaker 3: really that was just because at that time I was

1081
00:59:32,840 --> 00:59:35,160
Speaker 3: having money issues and that's why I did what I did.

1082
00:59:35,920 --> 00:59:40,640
Speaker 3: But there are deeper issues here that we can talk

1083
00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:43,840
Speaker 3: about that will help me to get to that place

1084
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:47,919
Speaker 3: where I can accept what I've done. But a lot

1085
00:59:47,920 --> 00:59:53,600
Speaker 3: of therapists didn't want my input and so that's where

1086
00:59:53,720 --> 00:59:56,160
Speaker 3: I push a different narrative.

1087
00:59:56,960 --> 01:00:01,280
Speaker 2: I'm not there to talk. You're here to talk, not me. Yep,

1088
01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:02,200
Speaker 2: I'm wit say.

1089
01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:06,040
Speaker 3: I was about to say, it's given nosy because it's

1090
01:00:06,080 --> 01:00:09,840
Speaker 3: like you, but I will say being with whenever we

1091
01:00:09,920 --> 01:00:14,000
Speaker 3: have therapists like you and Dom that are on the show,

1092
01:00:14,040 --> 01:00:16,000
Speaker 3: it just makes me so happy that we have people

1093
01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:19,120
Speaker 3: like YouTube in the world to support, like I wish

1094
01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:21,280
Speaker 3: I had a therapist like YouTube when I was younger,

1095
01:00:21,520 --> 01:00:23,160
Speaker 3: when I first started therapy, it was like an older

1096
01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:24,880
Speaker 3: white woman. And not to say that you can't benefit

1097
01:00:24,960 --> 01:00:26,800
Speaker 3: from an older white woman, but you know how it

1098
01:00:26,840 --> 01:00:28,960
Speaker 3: is when it comes to the cultural experience. It wasn't

1099
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:31,880
Speaker 3: a great experience for me until I had a therapist

1100
01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:34,040
Speaker 3: who looked likely and who spoke my language. So I'm

1101
01:00:34,080 --> 01:00:35,960
Speaker 3: just so grateful that we have women like you in

1102
01:00:35,960 --> 01:00:40,600
Speaker 3: the world. But Lennelle, this has been such an incredible conversation.

1103
01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:42,640
Speaker 3: I cannot wait to personally go back and listen to

1104
01:00:42,680 --> 01:00:46,000
Speaker 3: this interview. We have one final question for you, and

1105
01:00:46,440 --> 01:00:49,000
Speaker 3: the question is what would you say to someone who

1106
01:00:49,040 --> 01:00:52,880
Speaker 3: has made some mistakes in life and they feel discouraged

1107
01:00:52,880 --> 01:00:54,880
Speaker 3: and they feel hopeless about their future. What would you

1108
01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:56,640
Speaker 3: say to them as they're listening to this podcast or

1109
01:00:56,640 --> 01:00:59,040
Speaker 3: connecting with your story and they're just trying to find

1110
01:00:59,040 --> 01:01:01,720
Speaker 3: some additional racial Where do I go? Where do I

1111
01:01:01,760 --> 01:01:03,400
Speaker 3: go from here? What do I do next? If I've

1112
01:01:03,400 --> 01:01:07,640
Speaker 3: made this mistake? Well, I would say, hey, sis and

1113
01:01:07,760 --> 01:01:11,480
Speaker 3: hey bro love that you don't have to give a

1114
01:01:11,520 --> 01:01:15,960
Speaker 3: believe in yourself, don't believe what other people are telling you.

1115
01:01:15,960 --> 01:01:18,840
Speaker 3: You know, don't believe what you read all the time either,

1116
01:01:19,400 --> 01:01:22,920
Speaker 3: because that's not always true. They don't always put the

1117
01:01:23,080 --> 01:01:26,280
Speaker 3: correct things out there for us to read. They put

1118
01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:29,040
Speaker 3: the things that they believe we don't read and they

1119
01:01:29,080 --> 01:01:31,200
Speaker 3: want us to read, and we run with it.

1120
01:01:31,240 --> 01:01:32,000
Speaker 2: But don't do that.

1121
01:01:32,440 --> 01:01:38,320
Speaker 3: Do your own research, do your own footwork, and believe

1122
01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:41,960
Speaker 3: that anything is possible. And then keep that hope, you know,

1123
01:01:42,160 --> 01:01:46,720
Speaker 3: because once you lose hope, you lose momentum. And I

1124
01:01:46,760 --> 01:01:50,600
Speaker 3: don't ever want you to lose momentum. So keep hope alive.

1125
01:01:50,720 --> 01:01:52,840
Speaker 3: I know that's cliche, but we're gonna keep hope alive

1126
01:01:53,040 --> 01:01:56,440
Speaker 3: and we're gonna keep that that statement going because that

1127
01:01:56,440 --> 01:01:59,760
Speaker 3: that is true, especially when it comes to us as

1128
01:01:59,760 --> 01:02:02,400
Speaker 3: a community, as a people, we just have to really

1129
01:02:02,480 --> 01:02:05,160
Speaker 3: keep hope alive, believe we can do it, Believe that

1130
01:02:05,280 --> 01:02:09,200
Speaker 3: change is coming. We might not be there to see it,

1131
01:02:09,280 --> 01:02:12,680
Speaker 3: but we will see some change and that should be enough.

1132
01:02:14,320 --> 01:02:22,440
Speaker 3: Oh Ronelle, thank you so much for sharing your story,

1133
01:02:22,720 --> 01:02:26,600
Speaker 3: for sharing your words of wisdom with our audience.

1134
01:02:28,480 --> 01:02:29,920
Speaker 2: I know that.

1135
01:02:31,440 --> 01:02:36,600
Speaker 5: Lots of listeners are resonating with the things that you share,

1136
01:02:38,040 --> 01:02:42,480
Speaker 5: and unfortunately, based on the way things are in this country,

1137
01:02:42,560 --> 01:02:46,280
Speaker 5: I know that there are lots of listeners who either

1138
01:02:46,360 --> 01:02:49,760
Speaker 5: themselves have been incarcerated or they have family members who

1139
01:02:49,840 --> 01:02:56,800
Speaker 5: have been incarcerated and or dealing with addiction. Yes, and

1140
01:02:56,840 --> 01:03:00,320
Speaker 5: so the work that you're doing is so powerful and

1141
01:03:00,440 --> 01:03:03,680
Speaker 5: so important and so needed. And I know that a

1142
01:03:03,680 --> 01:03:05,280
Speaker 5: lot of our listeners are going to want to reach

1143
01:03:05,320 --> 01:03:08,920
Speaker 5: out to you, and so can you share.

1144
01:03:08,680 --> 01:03:14,280
Speaker 3: With them how they can connect with you? Yes, so

1145
01:03:14,880 --> 01:03:19,360
Speaker 3: right now you can connect with me. I'm trying to

1146
01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:22,440
Speaker 3: think the best option for everyone, since I have several

1147
01:03:22,440 --> 01:03:26,120
Speaker 3: different platforms, but I think the best thing would be

1148
01:03:26,240 --> 01:03:33,320
Speaker 3: on my Healthy Self Wellness Services website, so I can

1149
01:03:33,840 --> 01:03:36,920
Speaker 3: have the ladies then that information, but I'll put it

1150
01:03:36,920 --> 01:03:39,280
Speaker 3: it's healthy and I have a play on words.

1151
01:03:39,360 --> 01:03:40,760
Speaker 2: I want to make sure I put that out of there.

1152
01:03:40,840 --> 01:03:46,160
Speaker 3: Yes, kill thyself, healthy self, but yeah, but it's healthy self.

1153
01:03:46,240 --> 01:03:50,760
Speaker 3: So h E A L T H Y s E

1154
01:03:50,960 --> 01:03:55,880
Speaker 3: L S Wellness w E L l n E S

1155
01:03:55,880 --> 01:04:01,600
Speaker 3: S services s E r v I B S b EF.

1156
01:04:01,640 --> 01:04:04,040
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, guys, I'm not a feeling b champ.

1157
01:04:04,160 --> 01:04:08,080
Speaker 3: It's okay, budd yah good goo Healthy Healthy Self Wellness

1158
01:04:08,080 --> 01:04:10,680
Speaker 3: Services dot Com. So if you just go to my side,

1159
01:04:10,840 --> 01:04:13,200
Speaker 3: you'll be able to send me a message through there.

1160
01:04:13,800 --> 01:04:17,200
Speaker 3: If you are looking to book therapy services, You're also

1161
01:04:17,280 --> 01:04:19,800
Speaker 3: able to do that through the site as well. If

1162
01:04:19,840 --> 01:04:23,080
Speaker 3: you're looking for consulting services, you can message me there

1163
01:04:23,240 --> 01:04:27,080
Speaker 3: and we can talk about those services there as well. Also,

1164
01:04:27,160 --> 01:04:29,960
Speaker 3: you can contact me at three two three four or

1165
01:04:29,960 --> 01:04:34,560
Speaker 3: five zero seven nine zero eight. That is my business line.

1166
01:04:35,680 --> 01:04:38,000
Speaker 3: Thank you so much. Linell will be sure to add

1167
01:04:38,040 --> 01:04:40,160
Speaker 3: links in the show notes so they can just click

1168
01:04:40,200 --> 01:04:42,720
Speaker 3: on those links as well, and thank forward. And again

1169
01:04:42,840 --> 01:04:46,760
Speaker 3: we thank you and appreciate you. Yes, I appreciate, appreciate

1170
01:04:46,840 --> 01:04:50,320
Speaker 3: you ladies for bringing me on, for allowing me to

1171
01:04:50,360 --> 01:04:53,440
Speaker 3: share my story and be vulnerable with you both, and

1172
01:04:53,600 --> 01:04:55,960
Speaker 3: just making me feel safe as well. It was really

1173
01:04:56,040 --> 01:04:58,160
Speaker 3: a great experience. I really appreciate it.

1174
01:04:59,600 --> 01:05:03,360
Speaker 5: Hayley, it's doctor dom here from the Cultivating her Space podcast.

1175
01:05:04,360 --> 01:05:07,320
Speaker 5: Are you currently a resident of the state of California

1176
01:05:08,000 --> 01:05:13,080
Speaker 5: and contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, if so, please

1177
01:05:13,120 --> 01:05:16,960
Speaker 5: reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brusard dot com.

1178
01:05:17,440 --> 01:05:22,400
Speaker 5: That's d R D O M I N I q

1179
01:05:22,600 --> 01:05:27,000
Speaker 5: U E B R O U S s ar D

1180
01:05:27,680 --> 01:05:32,680
Speaker 5: dot com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation. I

1181
01:05:32,760 --> 01:05:37,680
Speaker 5: look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for joining us today.

1182
01:05:38,680 --> 01:05:44,160
Speaker 5: Please note that our show may contain conversations about self help, advice,

1183
01:05:44,800 --> 01:05:49,000
Speaker 5: self empowerment, and mental health, but is by no means

1184
01:05:49,240 --> 01:05:52,920
Speaker 5: meant to be a substitute for an ongoing formal relationship

1185
01:05:53,200 --> 01:05:56,960
Speaker 5: with a trained mental health provider. If you are someone

1186
01:05:57,040 --> 01:06:00,400
Speaker 5: you know is in need of mental health care, please

1187
01:06:00,480 --> 01:06:05,520
Speaker 5: visit a Therapy for Black Girls directory Psychology today or

1188
01:06:05,680 --> 01:06:07,320
Speaker 5: contact your insurance provider.

1189
01:06:07,600 --> 01:06:09,320
Speaker 3: If you liked what you heard and want to keep

1190
01:06:09,360 --> 01:06:14,240
Speaker 3: the conversation going, visit our website at herspacepodcast dot com

1191
01:06:14,440 --> 01:06:16,640
Speaker 3: and be sure to click the Patreon tab to get

1192
01:06:16,680 --> 01:06:20,800
Speaker 3: access to video content bonuses in our weekly after show

1193
01:06:21,560 --> 01:06:25,080
Speaker 3: and before we Meet again, repeat after me, I am

1194
01:06:25,160 --> 01:06:35,120
Speaker 3: worthy of a happy life.