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Speaker 1: Keep It Positive Sweetye is available on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Spotify,

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Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts. Just search keep It

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Speaker 1: Positive Sweetye. That's Sweetye with an Ie to listen. Hello,

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Speaker 1: and welcome to this episode of Keep It Positive. Sweety

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Speaker 1: I'm CHRISTOPHINEE Hazelt and as you can see, I am

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Speaker 1: not at home. I'm in La catching up with some

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Speaker 1: of my favorite people, straight from thirteen Loon. Here in La,

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Speaker 1: it's a beautiful black owned store by Nicao Grayco. Ninety

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Speaker 1: percent of the products sold here are bipod founded.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much thirteen Loon Today with me.

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Speaker 1: I have a good friend of mine somehow I'm so

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Speaker 1: proud of You've probably seen her because she's all over Instagram.

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Speaker 3: She may be in a church near you. Brenda Palmer.

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Speaker 2: I'm exciting to be here. Thank you for pulling up sis.

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Speaker 3: For sure you in the city, I mean never, she

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Speaker 3: knows where we live. We would have come to honey Down.

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Speaker 1: We're like, get over here, No, but for real, Thank

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Speaker 1: you so much, thank you for having me.

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Speaker 3: No, for sure, I'm really proud of you.

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Speaker 1: I love everything that you're doing, so we had to

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Speaker 1: have you sit down and really talk to you, because

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Speaker 1: I know you'll definitely our audience will be able to

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Speaker 1: relate to you.

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Speaker 3: So I'm excited.

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Speaker 2: I'm excited too.

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Speaker 1: Lets do it all right, We're talking about the series

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Speaker 1: of Yes, and I'm going to give you guys a

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Speaker 1: little background on Brenda just in case you don't know.

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Speaker 1: Brenda Palmer is a natural born innovator from the Inner

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Speaker 1: City of Chicago. Discovered her passion for making a difference

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Speaker 1: early on, propelling her toward higher education. An alumna of

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Speaker 1: Mississippi Valley State and University of Syracuse, Brenda refined her

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Speaker 1: media and communication skills. Currently enrolled in Denver Seminary Women's

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Speaker 1: Leadership Cohort, she'spcuent a Master's of Arts and Biblical and

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Speaker 1: Theological Studies. Brenda's now traveling is now a traveling preacher.

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Speaker 1: She's the host of Life and Perspective podcast and leader

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Speaker 1: of the movement Come Alive. This is a pop up

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Speaker 1: movement held nationwide, offers an authentic encounter with Jesus through

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Speaker 1: Bible studies.

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Speaker 4: And worship nights.

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Speaker 1: I got to catch one of those for sure, and

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Speaker 1: Brenda belize life unfolds through moments when we surrender to

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Speaker 1: God's plan. With unwavering faith, a growing social following, and

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Speaker 1: a creative spirit, she is determined to make a positive

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Speaker 1: impact by making Jesus famous with her life.

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Speaker 3: Ladies and Gentlemen, Brenda Palmer.

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Speaker 2: It's weird to hear your own bios like that.

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Speaker 1: Yes, So the first time we met was through Instagram,

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Speaker 1: was through social media, through mutual friends.

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Speaker 3: But then you had to come. You were in Atlanta.

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Speaker 1: Writing your new book. Yes, yes, run your new book

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Speaker 1: that we're going to talk about. But that's when I

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Speaker 1: got to actually meet you.

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Speaker 3: It's like, yeah, you feel like you know somebody, and

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Speaker 3: then when you Instagram makes you feel like that.

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Speaker 1: It really does, and sometimes that's weird, but I got

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Speaker 1: doing that. Please did you be like their best friend

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Speaker 1: and be like, I don't really know you? So it

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Speaker 1: was really cool to We're like, wait, this is the

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Speaker 1: first time.

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Speaker 2: Actually, but it was cool. It felt like we knew

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Speaker 2: each other all is it? Yes? No, for sure? For sure.

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Speaker 1: So you describe your life as a series of yes,

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Speaker 1: and you're even writing your upcoming book it's called a

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Speaker 1: Journey of Yes. Let's talk about what even led you

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Speaker 1: to writing this book? Because I know a lot of

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Speaker 1: times when it comes to you said that your faith

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Speaker 1: and being obedient to God is what led you to la,

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Speaker 1: what led you to the book deal and everything that's.

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Speaker 3: Happening right now, because it's a lot happening.

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Speaker 2: So let's talk about, Yeah, I think the.

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Speaker 5: Book thing happens. I would say, like just a series

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Speaker 5: of yes. It's like, so I do Instagram lives all

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Speaker 5: the time. So I'm like live and there's a girl

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Speaker 5: following me. I'm doing Q and A and she writes

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Speaker 5: in the comments like, hey, have you ever wanted to

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Speaker 5: write a book? So I'm like, nobody, got no questions,

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Speaker 5: So I keep ignoring it. She's like I asked one.

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Speaker 5: I'm like, oh yeah, I hear you. You know what

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Speaker 5: I'm saying, like yeah at some point in life. But

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Speaker 5: it was I was irritated because I felt like God

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Speaker 5: is like, girl, what are you doing?

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Speaker 2: Kind of thing? Like long story short. She DMS me

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Speaker 2: and she happened to actually work.

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Speaker 5: For a publishing company. Oh wow, and so she was like, nah,

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Speaker 5: like I follow you. I think you have something to say,

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Speaker 5: like let's set up a meeting. She's like, I can

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Speaker 5: officially send you something. And then she goes like she

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Speaker 5: sends me an email she got like one of the

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Speaker 5: top Christian publishers, and she goes, I can continue this

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Speaker 5: conversation with your agent. I said, do I look, I

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Speaker 5: must give She has given it, yeah, I said, because

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Speaker 5: I don't. And at this time, I probably had twenty

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Speaker 5: five maybe anywhere between twenty five hundred and five thousand followers,

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Speaker 5: like very very and this is twenty twenty two, oh wow,

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Speaker 5: like not that long ago. So she says agent. So

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Speaker 5: I'm like, I need to get an agent. So I

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Speaker 5: like reach out to somebody, take a meeting, and she

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Speaker 5: doesn't sign me because she's like, publishers, look at your numbers.

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Speaker 5: And so I talked to my best friend. She's like,

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Speaker 5: bring focus on, like what God told you to do.

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Speaker 5: She's like, he'll, he'll, he'll do it. A year later,

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Speaker 5: I hit that same publisher up my Instagram, had girl,

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Speaker 5: my TikTok had girl my YouTube, like in a matter

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Speaker 5: of six months, like I had seven followers on TikTok,

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Speaker 5: I posted one video in seven days.

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Speaker 2: I was at twenty k oh wow.

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Speaker 5: Like it was like God just was like I got this.

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Speaker 5: I got and he said breathe yeah, And so it

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Speaker 5: went from there. Like we had one conversation. I'm like, look,

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Speaker 5: this is where it was a year ago, this is

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Speaker 5: where I am now, and she was like instantly signed me.

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Speaker 5: Within a month, I sat down with every Christian publisher

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Speaker 5: like in the market to talk like they wanted to

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Speaker 5: meet with me about my book and I'm like.

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Speaker 2: What am I?

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Speaker 5: And so it was and it was it was crazy

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Speaker 5: because like I was gonna write a book about something else.

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Speaker 5: I went to sleep, had a dream and God even

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Speaker 5: a download which which created the journey of yes Wow,

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Speaker 5: And I messaged her. I was like, hey, I already

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Speaker 5: have a book that has a chapter spelled out in

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Speaker 5: one chapter done, but I really feel like this is

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Speaker 5: the book I'm supposed to do. And the publishers agree

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Speaker 5: with it. We pitched it and then by the end

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Speaker 5: of last year October, I had signed my first book

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Speaker 5: through six figures.

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Speaker 3: Like come on, the Lord, the Lord.

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Speaker 5: But it's like if I never went live that day.

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Speaker 5: It's like, that's why I say it's a series of yes.

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Speaker 5: It's because we always think for like the big one

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Speaker 5: he say oh yes to the deal. No no no, Since

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Speaker 5: fruit of decisions over time that says, okay, God, I'm

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Speaker 5: gonna do this, and I'm gonna do this that lead

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Speaker 5: to that moment and I can trace it.

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Speaker 3: Back right right.

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Speaker 2: That is so good.

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, Well, thank you for listening. A lot

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Speaker 1: of times, guy can tell us something and we like it, you.

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Speaker 5: Know, yeah, that's you know, I've been there, but then.

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Speaker 3: Still there some days depending on what it is.

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Speaker 5: And then you like realize that your life ain't yours,

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Speaker 5: and then it becomes easier because then it's like, if

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Speaker 5: he's asking me to do something, then I mean, it's

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Speaker 5: my life, but it's his.

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Speaker 2: It belongs to him.

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Speaker 5: I gave it back to him when I said I

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Speaker 5: was gonna follow him, So then his plan is the

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Speaker 5: only one that's gonna actually work.

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Speaker 3: Is there in your walk?

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Speaker 1: Because you are so in front of everybody now, you

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Speaker 1: know a lot of time, as even as celebrities, I

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Speaker 1: feel like it's easier to live.

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Speaker 3: In the shadows.

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Speaker 1: Do you find it harder now that you are such

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Speaker 1: a big internet sensation and people know you on Instagram

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Speaker 1: and you.

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Speaker 3: Walk down the street, Oh you're heard.

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Speaker 2: I don't like it. You don't like it. I don't

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Speaker 2: like it. I mean I think it like takes a

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Speaker 2: getting us. It's weird.

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Speaker 5: It's like I'm like, I'm just being myself and then

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Speaker 5: I'm like and then it's becoming a thing to people.

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Speaker 2: I've been preaching places and people are like, can I

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Speaker 2: be an autograph?

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Speaker 5: I'm sorry for what, and I'm about to and I

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Speaker 5: literally like, I'll sign stuff, but it will be a

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Speaker 5: scripture something like because I'm not a celebrity. You know

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Speaker 5: what I'm saying. So I think it's it's like trying

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Speaker 5: to find balance, and it's it's different. Social media will

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Speaker 5: make like take you places, which I'm grateful for that,

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Speaker 5: but sometimes it could be intrusive. I was at the

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Speaker 5: Nike store and the girl was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 5: are you Brenda Palmer.

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Speaker 2: She's like I watch your podcast.

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Speaker 5: I'm like, girl, how, and I'm like how, I promise

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Speaker 5: for me, I probably will always be shocked that like

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Speaker 5: people know me.

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Speaker 2: It's weird.

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Speaker 5: And then she said podcast and I was in La.

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Speaker 5: I never think to me noticed in La.

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Speaker 1: I'm like because most of times, because people like they

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Speaker 1: don't bother anybody.

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Speaker 2: No, for sure, everybody they recognize.

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Speaker 5: It's like, I also don't consider myself important enough for

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Speaker 5: people to be like hey, Brenda.

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Speaker 3: It's like okay, hey.

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Speaker 2: And I'm socially awkward in that moment. I'm like, hi,

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Speaker 2: but it's cool.

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Speaker 5: I think somebody explained it to me in the sense

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Speaker 5: of like you have impacted their life and brought them

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Speaker 5: closer to Jesus.

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Speaker 2: That's like life changing to them. So when someone.

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Speaker 5: Approaches you, you have to view it from that perspective.

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Speaker 5: It's like, dang, I okay, I can't own that. I

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Speaker 5: can say, man, I help this person get closer to Jesus,

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Speaker 5: and they are their lives has been changed by that.

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Speaker 2: That's something to honor somebody for it.

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Speaker 5: And so I think I have to view it that way.

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Speaker 5: But it it is different cause it happened overnight.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I can imagine, and then a lot of times,

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Speaker 3: like for me, I can.

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Speaker 1: I'm not sure that cause I feel like you're a pastor,

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Speaker 1: so your ear walker is completely different.

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Speaker 2: Faster it is.

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Speaker 5: I know you tried to slide that in there. I

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Speaker 5: saw how you couldn't even say it with a straight face.

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Speaker 2: He said, and it was low.

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Speaker 5: It's like pastor, because you know that.

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Speaker 2: Crazy.

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Speaker 5: I am a survey of the Lord Brenda's pastor.

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Speaker 2: It's crazy. Hear what I said.

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Speaker 3: It's so funny.

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Speaker 1: But for me, I know, like living my life out

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Speaker 1: in public and still knowing that I'm not perfect. I

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Speaker 1: feel like, but I'm still professing the name of Jesus.

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Speaker 2: It's hard.

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Speaker 1: Like if I feel like I can't make any mistake

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Speaker 1: because your life is your under a microscope at all times.

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Speaker 3: What would you say to people like me who.

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Speaker 1: Are on that journey and may not be walking a

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Speaker 1: fine line, but our heart, we know we love Jesus.

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Speaker 1: We don't shy from away from that.

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Speaker 3: We let them everyone know.

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Speaker 1: This is why I believe in I know his grace

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Speaker 1: and mercy is the reason I'm here today and everything.

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Speaker 3: Like you said, my life is not my own, but

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Speaker 3: we struggled.

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Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying with that fine line of

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Speaker 1: this is what I do and this is who I am,

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Speaker 1: and I'm not perfect, but everybody's looking me to be perfect.

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Speaker 5: To your I think that is a misconception. I don't

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Speaker 5: think people want you to be perfect. I think people

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Speaker 5: want you to be yourself. I think that if I

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Speaker 5: was perfect, there's no way people.

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Speaker 2: Would recognize their need for Jesus.

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Speaker 5: And so I think where most people feel like they

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Speaker 5: shy away from their shortcomings or their fallings. I amplify mine.

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Speaker 5: I'm very open about I missed it today. I just

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Speaker 5: supposed to the other day, like, hey, I've been telling

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Speaker 5: y'all got an announcement. Well three days before I saw

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Speaker 5: to make it. God was like, nah, we're not doing that.

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Speaker 5: So I have to now say and be open and

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Speaker 5: be like, man, y'all, I really thought God was in this.

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Speaker 2: Turns out it was me doing my own thing.

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Speaker 5: Because people need to see themselves, and my inability to

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Speaker 5: get it right all the time highlights their need for Jesus.

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Speaker 5: So when we try to live and portray perfect lives,

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Speaker 5: we're doing a disservice to people recognizing they need God.

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Speaker 1: I don't think it's like me trying to be perfect,

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Speaker 1: but people like, as soon as you start saying like

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Speaker 1: this is what I am, this is the walk, it's

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Speaker 1: like if you make one mistake, it's like, man, she

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Speaker 1: ain't you know what I'm saying. It's like it's automatically

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Speaker 1: a judgment, That's what I'm saying.

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Speaker 5: Like I think it's like, okay, I think we could

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Speaker 5: we could come across it differently, right. I think it's

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Speaker 5: I think it's when you the moment you say I'm

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Speaker 5: a believer, you get loud about that, you immediately succumb

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Speaker 5: yourself to a standard. And so what happens is people go,

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Speaker 5: I thought you were saved. Now the difference is, you know,

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Speaker 5: we gotta we progress. You know it's a progressive journey, right,

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Speaker 5: But the moment you.

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Speaker 2: Say it, you go, you're taking a stand.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, And so sometimes it feels like judgment other and

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Speaker 5: people could be wrong in how they approach it, but

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Speaker 5: it's really them saying, Okay, the moment you say, Jesus,

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Speaker 5: you set yourself to this standing, right, you set people

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Speaker 5: to expect you to meet it.

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Speaker 2: Do we all meet it every time? No?

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Speaker 5: But that's that's the part about journeying with Jesus. It's like,

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Speaker 5: all right, y'all, I know I said I'm a believer,

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Speaker 5: but here is my journey. Now six months later, I'm

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Speaker 5: gonna need you to not be where you was six

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Speaker 5: months because if I'm growing in my revelation and knowledge

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Speaker 5: of who God.

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Speaker 3: Is, then there.

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Speaker 2: Needs to be some progression. At some point.

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Speaker 5: You have to start making decisions that no longer feed

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Speaker 5: your desires but feed His desire for you.

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Speaker 2: And so then it becomes easier. It's like I've been.

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Speaker 2: I'm an PK. I've been in church all my life.

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Speaker 5: So had times where I was drinking a lot, not

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Speaker 5: like social like I was drinking, I was smoking, I

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Speaker 5: was getting high and I enjoyed that until I recognize, like,

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Speaker 5: this is not who I am. And I think that

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Speaker 5: we have to have the understanding that, like even like

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Speaker 5: our convictions are related to our spiritual maturity that happens

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Speaker 5: as we progress in our relationship with God. So what

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Speaker 5: convicts me in this moment might not convict you. Now,

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Speaker 5: there are some foundational things that we all need to

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Speaker 5: you're saying the same thing, right, But outside of that,

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Speaker 5: it's like, Okay, even when I share truth, I'm not

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Speaker 5: telling you what to do. I'm saying, hey, this is

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Speaker 5: kind of what God said to me. Now go talk

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Speaker 5: to him about it.

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Speaker 3: Speaking of what.

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Speaker 1: God said to you, God told you that.

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Speaker 2: I was like, I'm like Christ, she just want to

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Speaker 2: talk about this. Your fans gonna get you. They gonna

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Speaker 2: be like, let you do about that. Yoga.

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Speaker 3: I love yoga.

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Speaker 1: We talked, you said that, give us the backstory about

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Speaker 1: how this came about.

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Speaker 5: Okay, you know you know this is this is our

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Speaker 5: second time talking about this. You know, we keep talking

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Speaker 5: about this, you have a responsibility to search this say

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Speaker 5: out now.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I want I want you to tell the people,

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Speaker 1: all right, because I thought this is very interesting.

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Speaker 2: All right, So I went to yoga.

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Speaker 5: I went to hot yoga actually, and I posted it

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Speaker 5: on social media. I'm like, yeah, I'm going to yoga

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Speaker 5: just in case I don't make it out of here.

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Speaker 5: This is because it's hot so hard, and I was like,

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Speaker 5: I'm going with this person, and if I don't make

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Speaker 5: it's her fault. And like the crazy thing was I

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Speaker 5: went with I was on staff at the church.

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Speaker 2: I went with the church people.

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Speaker 5: So we go to yoga, and I like to enjoyed it.

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Speaker 5: I was liked, ain't this felt really good? What I

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Speaker 5: recognized in the moment was I had like a very

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Speaker 5: emotional experience, Like it was so relaxing and so calming

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Speaker 5: that I cried.

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Speaker 2: And the only place I cried is in worship, So

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Speaker 2: that was it was like okay.

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Speaker 5: But then it was kind of like I'm a little

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Speaker 5: off about that, And so I posted it and one

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Speaker 5: of my really really close friends she responds to my

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Speaker 5: story and goes.

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Speaker 2: Don't ever go back there. I was like bro, what happened?

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Speaker 5: I was like, I didn't say not my stay, I

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Speaker 5: say in Jesus name. Like, I was like, it's think

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Speaker 5: and so then she's like nah, She's like it's worship.

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Speaker 5: And so then I'm like what, so again those are

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Speaker 5: her convictions, right, I have no knowledge of it, but

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Speaker 5: I went and searched it out. What I recognized is

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Speaker 5: for that entire week, I had pains and like my

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Speaker 5: shins like hurting, and I was like, what is this?

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Speaker 5: And so the more research I started to do is like, oh,

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Speaker 5: yoga is not an exercise, it's a practice. It's actually

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Speaker 5: rooted in Hinduism, and the motions that we do are

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Speaker 5: actual worship to deities. And so it's like, oh, that

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Speaker 5: would explain my response in the moment. Is because here's

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Speaker 5: the thing, right, Like, even if I'm going there with

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Speaker 5: the intent to exercise, just the same way you go

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Speaker 5: to church and you go in that atmosphere you worship and.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes you might cry, sometimes you might laugh.

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Speaker 5: Sometimes that environment has been cultivated for that to happen.

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Speaker 2: Is it's the same thing in yoga. Although I have

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Speaker 2: a heart.

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Speaker 5: Intention that I'm just exercising, this environment has been cultivated

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Speaker 5: for worship and not to my God. So now I'm

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Speaker 5: participating in worship to a pagan god, which the Bible

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Speaker 5: clearly speaks against. And so we'll read Exodus, we'll read

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Speaker 5: the Old Testament, and we'll read about them serving other gods.

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Speaker 5: It's the same for us. It's just been modernized into

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Speaker 5: our culture in our everyday life. The actual word yoga

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Speaker 5: means to yoke mm. And so they'll tell you like

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Speaker 5: empty yourself in the process. It's like empty yourself for

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Speaker 5: what well, because now you're giving your body access to

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Speaker 5: that environment, so spirits have access to you.

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Speaker 2: You're empty yourself.

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Speaker 5: The only place you into empty yourself and be feel

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Speaker 5: is in the presence of the Lord.

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Speaker 2: And so it's like manipulative.

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Speaker 5: They're they're like actual people who were Hindus who will

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Speaker 5: tell you Actually people in hindu will tell you they

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Speaker 5: don't like that Americans use their worship practices for exercise,

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Speaker 5: cause it's not exercise, it's just being infiltrated that way.

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Speaker 2: It's deception mm. And m I too was deceived cause

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Speaker 2: I was like I was like, bro, I'm about.

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Speaker 5: To I'm like this way we feel yeah, And then

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Speaker 5: I was like, now I can't fool with it and

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Speaker 5: the moment I repent it and I was like, man, God,

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Speaker 5: I like break coven it with anything that I made

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Speaker 5: agreement within that environment knowingly and unknowingly pains.

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Speaker 2: On my legs.

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Speaker 5: Gone wow, And I know that he allowed that to happen,

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Speaker 5: so I would pay attention because if not, I would

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Speaker 5: have been going to yoga.

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Speaker 2: At the time.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so yeah, Okay.

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Speaker 5: Y'all heard Chrystmas. Okay, she said, I'm still going to.

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Speaker 2: You know, don't matter. It is consistent, and this is

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Speaker 2: not the first conversation.

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Speaker 3: It's okay, reveal it.

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Speaker 2: He will like you because when we.

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Speaker 1: Talked about it, I said that I did not know

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Speaker 1: all those things. He broke it down, but I said

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Speaker 1: that when I'm there, like for me, I'm thinking it

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Speaker 1: made me grateful for my breath, like to just be

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Speaker 1: able to breathe things that we take for granted. For sure,

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Speaker 1: to hold myself up was really a hard thing. And

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Speaker 1: that ninety plus degree rooting and then the movements that

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Speaker 1: were doing, I was like, thank you God. It made

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Speaker 1: me like more grateful for things that I didn't think

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Speaker 1: about because I was detached from my phone.

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Speaker 3: I was just by myself.

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Speaker 1: And in that space, and for me, I would have pain,

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Speaker 1: but they would go away when I did yoga.

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Speaker 3: So I was like, oh, this is really working.

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Speaker 1: And I was in the best ship of my life

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Speaker 1: when I implemented yoga into our workouts.

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Speaker 3: And for me, I'm thanking God for the movements. I'm

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Speaker 3: not subscribing to this.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't even thinking about what I could possibly taking

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Speaker 1: in because in the whole moment, I'm thinking Jesus and God,

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Speaker 1: thank you for this, and thank you for my health,

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Speaker 1: and thank you for this movement in my body. So

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Speaker 1: when I was like, well, when I do it, I'm

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Speaker 1: thinking about the Lord. I'm thinking about Jesus.

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Speaker 3: Go ahead. Did you see me?

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Speaker 5: It was like that I realed my own self. Would

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Speaker 5: you go to an Islamic temple and worship Jesus?

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Speaker 2: Study?

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Speaker 3: Is that the same thing?

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Speaker 2: Is it?

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Speaker 1: I've never been to an Islamac But you know why

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Speaker 1: because you okay, but I did not look at.

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Speaker 2: That like that.

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Speaker 5: It's yeah, that's what I'm saying because because you're thinking exercise,

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Speaker 5: I'm saying it's cool that you think it's that.

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Speaker 2: It's nice. It is Hinduism. That is what it is.

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Speaker 2: It's a Hindu practice.

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Speaker 5: So it's it's not the Lord got you the fact

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Speaker 5: that you keep asking about it.

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Speaker 3: I just thought it was a really interesting topic.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: It's just I didn't I didn't write that Thelord actually

431
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Speaker 3: wrote that.

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Speaker 5: Because she's she's like, she doesn't want to talk about it.

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Speaker 2: Bro, she is very set in her mind.

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Speaker 6: You say, you know what, because that's not my job.

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Speaker 5: I plant the seed, somebody else is gonna water it,

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Speaker 5: and the Lord is gonna make it grow.

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Speaker 2: But the day you stopped going.

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Speaker 3: I haven't been alone a long time, actually, have been

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Speaker 3: all year.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's not your friends. Okay, so hey, they're

441
00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:50,720
Speaker 2: gonna light you up. Though they're gonna be like Christ,

442
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:51,400
Speaker 2: You're still.

443
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:55,119
Speaker 3: Be going to young and right right. Sometimes it's just

444
00:19:55,119 --> 00:19:55,800
Speaker 3: like you be cousin.

445
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,680
Speaker 2: Sometimes you sometimes.

446
00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:03,440
Speaker 5: Try to we're not gonna group those. We're not gonna

447
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,640
Speaker 5: go cursing yoga. No, we're not gonna do that, because

448
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:07,440
Speaker 5: don't try.

449
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:08,480
Speaker 2: Don't try that.

450
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:12,320
Speaker 3: You still be a little bit, you know.

451
00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:15,000
Speaker 1: I want to talk about the defining moment when you

452
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,800
Speaker 1: decided that you're gonna take this walk really serious, and

453
00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:20,600
Speaker 1: that it was no back and forth. This is what

454
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,760
Speaker 1: I wanna do what was that moment.

455
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:24,000
Speaker 3: Where you were like, this is it?

456
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,120
Speaker 1: Because I feel like for everyone there's a moment where

457
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:27,840
Speaker 1: they're like, God, I gotta do it your way.

458
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:29,240
Speaker 2: Yeah.

459
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:30,840
Speaker 5: I think I have a couple of those. I think

460
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:33,080
Speaker 5: it got really really real for me. Like I said,

461
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:36,120
Speaker 5: I grew up a PK, but I didn't really know Jesus, Like, wow,

462
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:39,280
Speaker 5: I think I knew church, I knew activity, I knew

463
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:42,160
Speaker 5: the practice of what they say you're supposed to do.

464
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:43,720
Speaker 2: I knew how to play the game really well.

465
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:46,880
Speaker 5: I could go home, I'd be like and I could

466
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:48,200
Speaker 5: be outside living with my best life.

467
00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:49,840
Speaker 2: People be like you're saved. Wow.

468
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:52,560
Speaker 5: Didn't know, Like yeah, because I just you know, when

469
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:53,560
Speaker 5: I commit to something.

470
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:53,960
Speaker 2: I'm committed.

471
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:54,639
Speaker 3: Yeah.

472
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,320
Speaker 2: And so in twenty.

473
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:58,520
Speaker 5: Seventeen, I feel like it's really when I felt the

474
00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:01,440
Speaker 5: call of God on my life and I was like, no.

475
00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:02,280
Speaker 2: I don't want this.

476
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,800
Speaker 5: And I went on a complete journey to ensure, like

477
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:07,360
Speaker 5: to prove to the Lord that I wasn't the one

478
00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:07,800
Speaker 5: he wanted.

479
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:09,200
Speaker 2: So I was like, nah.

480
00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:12,280
Speaker 5: So I remember one of my former line sisters got

481
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:14,840
Speaker 5: married and we went I went to her wedding. I

482
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:16,879
Speaker 5: mean I was I turned up, like I went on

483
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:17,359
Speaker 5: a bench.

484
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:18,480
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm approved to you.

485
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:22,359
Speaker 5: So I like, I got drunk off my tail, I

486
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:24,679
Speaker 5: was high. Like I remember being in the backseat in

487
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:27,280
Speaker 5: my car looking for snacks because I was I had

488
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:29,200
Speaker 5: the munchies. Like in the middle of the night. I

489
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:32,400
Speaker 5: was like, I have reached a new low, like eating

490
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:35,080
Speaker 5: like it just was. I was trying to prove to God,

491
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:36,919
Speaker 5: like no, it's not I promise you I'm not the

492
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:40,119
Speaker 5: one you want to use. And when I got back home,

493
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:42,359
Speaker 5: I felt like I had this moment and God was like,

494
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:46,520
Speaker 5: when you finish, I'm still right here waiting. And I

495
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:50,280
Speaker 5: think for me it felt like one it was like, oh,

496
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:53,160
Speaker 5: you're really not gonna change your mind. Look, I really

497
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:56,359
Speaker 5: was working hard, and He's like, nah, because when I

498
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:59,320
Speaker 5: called you, I considered who you are, who you would be,

499
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:01,880
Speaker 5: and the choices you would make. And it doesn't change

500
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:04,960
Speaker 5: my mind about you. Wow. And I think that made

501
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,600
Speaker 5: me dive in and go heang somebody who could love

502
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,639
Speaker 5: me that unconditionally, no matter what I do, he doesn't

503
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:12,720
Speaker 5: change on me. That's the kind of person I could

504
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,440
Speaker 5: rock with. Like, that's the kind of person I could

505
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:17,120
Speaker 5: ride for. And so I think in that moment I made.

506
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:18,760
Speaker 2: A decision like, Okay, whatever you ask me to do,

507
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:22,480
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say yes. Still didn't do that quite right.

508
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:29,080
Speaker 5: That year, like December of twenty sixteen. He told me

509
00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:32,959
Speaker 5: to move twenty seventeen of April to la and I

510
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:33,640
Speaker 5: didn't do it.

511
00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:34,880
Speaker 2: M And I was like.

512
00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:38,360
Speaker 5: Nah, like I just need to stay here kind of thing.

513
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,480
Speaker 5: I had accepted that, like ministry was gonna be my life.

514
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:42,679
Speaker 5: I had given up on my dreams. I didn't I

515
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:44,560
Speaker 5: didn't wanna be a preacher. That wasn't wanna do a

516
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:48,560
Speaker 5: production like a producer, which is, well, my background is

517
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,119
Speaker 5: in like I went to school for that. Like that

518
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,520
Speaker 5: was why I moved to La. Wow, and somehow we

519
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:53,359
Speaker 5: ended up here.

520
00:22:55,040 --> 00:23:02,840
Speaker 2: That's here I can't but yeah, I think in that

521
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 2: And so I didn't move. I stayed there.

522
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,080
Speaker 5: And then the worst thing that I think could have

523
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:09,679
Speaker 5: ever happened to me happened. So I was on staff

524
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:13,919
Speaker 5: at a church and uh, like when I say staff,

525
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,280
Speaker 5: like people think the big churches, it was like it

526
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 5: was kind of like a thousand people at week kind

527
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:21,280
Speaker 5: of church. So I did everything. I was like overproduction.

528
00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:23,919
Speaker 5: I ran creative. I traveled with the pastors, like what

529
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:25,080
Speaker 5: they would call a armor bearer.

530
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:25,640
Speaker 2: I did that.

531
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:27,840
Speaker 5: I had keys to their house like they were like

532
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:30,560
Speaker 5: my second family, Like I called them moms and pops.

533
00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:32,000
Speaker 2: Like they were my spiritual parents.

534
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,240
Speaker 5: And I started dating this guy top of twenty eighteen,

535
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:38,359
Speaker 5: and then April of twenty eighteen, which would have been

536
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:40,320
Speaker 5: a year to date from when I was supposed to

537
00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:43,240
Speaker 5: move to LA, I find out that like my the

538
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:46,480
Speaker 5: guy I was dating and my pastor were like in

539
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 5: a relationship, like the male pastor the.

540
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,080
Speaker 3: Man that you call pops.

541
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:56,480
Speaker 1: Yeah wow, And so like what did initially? What was

542
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:58,320
Speaker 1: the feeling devastation?

543
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:03,760
Speaker 5: And I feel like too, like also detachment right like

544
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 5: because you know something could be so crazy you don't

545
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:09,119
Speaker 5: feel real. So then it's like, I don't think I

546
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:12,080
Speaker 5: ever processed the emotions of it for real, for real

547
00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 5: until I moved to LA because I think like I

548
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:19,240
Speaker 5: didn't want to, I think in that and so for

549
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:24,239
Speaker 5: sure devastated for a whole bunch of reasons. But I

550
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:28,720
Speaker 5: instantly went into like, okay, like what do I do?

551
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:30,160
Speaker 5: But then also how do I keep this.

552
00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:31,840
Speaker 2: From getting out?

553
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 5: Which is yeah, because and it wasn't because I was

554
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:35,639
Speaker 5: trying to protect them.

555
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:37,000
Speaker 2: It was like I was trying to protect what they

556
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,639
Speaker 2: would do to people. Yeah, because you see how you

557
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:40,680
Speaker 2: just made that face you win.

558
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,439
Speaker 5: Yeah, So in my head it was like, nah, like

559
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,800
Speaker 5: just can't hit people. And so I went a whole

560
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:50,000
Speaker 5: month like watching them interact with each other and still

561
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:53,880
Speaker 5: showing up to work, watching them like communicate, like.

562
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,359
Speaker 3: I you found out, and they didn't even know that.

563
00:24:57,359 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 5: You knew no, no, and don't like to be honest,

564
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:03,960
Speaker 5: had they never like force my hands, they probably would

565
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:04,360
Speaker 5: have never knew.

566
00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:04,600
Speaker 2: I knew.

567
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:06,160
Speaker 5: I was just quick and moved out with my life.

568
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:09,119
Speaker 5: You never said nothing, cause I just I don't know.

569
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:10,560
Speaker 5: I just I don't And I'm.

570
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:11,440
Speaker 2: Sure that's unhealthy.

571
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:13,639
Speaker 5: You know, we gonna peck that in therapy and all

572
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:14,160
Speaker 5: those things.

573
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:18,200
Speaker 2: But I think I just I watched them engage. I

574
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:19,000
Speaker 2: I was dying.

575
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:22,160
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like like I look at pictures from that time

576
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:24,160
Speaker 5: in my life, I looked like I was on some

577
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:27,960
Speaker 5: hard drugs, like my body was. I was breaking out

578
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:32,760
Speaker 5: cause I was internalizing everything, and nobody like knew my mom.

579
00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:35,080
Speaker 5: I would like I just caught a rhythm. So I

580
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:39,560
Speaker 5: would like wake up, go to work, go home, watch sermons, pray,

581
00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:42,040
Speaker 5: play worship music I turned the world off cause I'm like,

582
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:44,199
Speaker 5: if I don't have the Lord, I ain't gonna make

583
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:46,199
Speaker 5: it through this. And so one day my mom was like,

584
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,159
Speaker 5: are you good. I'm like I'm fine. She's like, no,

585
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:49,960
Speaker 5: you not. And I was like, if you want to

586
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,280
Speaker 5: know asks the Lord, I leave, go to work.

587
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:56,119
Speaker 2: Come home. She was home early. I'm like she looked

588
00:25:56,119 --> 00:25:58,240
Speaker 2: like I felt, and I'm like, you good.

589
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:02,480
Speaker 5: She was like, nah, she said, Holy Spirit revealed and

590
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:03,679
Speaker 5: she says it verbatim.

591
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:06,800
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, I said, and you walking.

592
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:13,320
Speaker 2: Give me some stuff like that. I need answers to

593
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:14,280
Speaker 2: let me.

594
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:19,120
Speaker 5: And for the first time, after maybe two or three weeks,

595
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 5: I could finally like release a little bit and she

596
00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:26,159
Speaker 5: just goes, oh, baby like, and so we kind of

597
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 5: cry it out. It gets confronted, whatever that means. It's

598
00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:35,159
Speaker 5: like they were aware, you know that I knew I

599
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,200
Speaker 5: finally because I didn't break up with a guy right away,

600
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:40,080
Speaker 5: like I was just like trying to navigate it kind

601
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:40,440
Speaker 5: of thing.

602
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,399
Speaker 2: And so I don't know.

603
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:45,400
Speaker 5: I feel like in that season, though, is where I learned,

604
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:48,480
Speaker 5: like the heart of God. I learned how to love

605
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:53,600
Speaker 5: people the way that God does because we are trash

606
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:56,840
Speaker 5: and God doesn't change on us, and so I learned.

607
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,560
Speaker 5: I feel like people will like call me past her.

608
00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:01,920
Speaker 5: That's where I developed being a pastors about your heart,

609
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:05,320
Speaker 5: That's where I developed mine because it was weird. As

610
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:07,119
Speaker 5: much as I wanted to be angry with them, I

611
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:07,960
Speaker 5: had compassion.

612
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:12,760
Speaker 1: M That says a lot about who you are. Seriously, No,

613
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:14,639
Speaker 1: it does, because I don't know how.

614
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:17,440
Speaker 3: I know how it. I ain't gonna say say I

615
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 3: don't know how.

616
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 2: I'm actually very clear.

617
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:25,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think I think it's interesting to always talk

618
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:27,879
Speaker 5: about it because now I like, I'm living in this

619
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:30,520
Speaker 5: season in my life, and sometimes I can feel undeserving

620
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 5: of it, like I was never pursuing this like pathway

621
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 5: or whatever, and I feel like God always sees me

622
00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 5: in this moment and go, no, no, no. Your decision to

623
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:43,280
Speaker 5: honor in that moment is where you're living in the

624
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:47,440
Speaker 5: fruit of yes, and I like, I have to hold

625
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:49,560
Speaker 5: that because sometimes it can feel like, you know, like

626
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:53,240
Speaker 5: imposter syndrome, like bro, I wasn't even after this you

627
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:55,760
Speaker 5: know kind of thing, and the opportunities in the doors

628
00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:58,960
Speaker 5: that God has trusted me with, I'm like, why me?

629
00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:02,160
Speaker 2: And He's like and not in that moment. I didn't

630
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:04,000
Speaker 2: have no clue what my life would be like.

631
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:06,400
Speaker 5: Now you know what I'm saying. But I loved God

632
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:10,879
Speaker 5: enough to go this isn't you, and I'm not gonna

633
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:14,200
Speaker 5: walk away from you because of what someone who represents

634
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:16,400
Speaker 5: you has done to me. And I think we hear

635
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:20,920
Speaker 5: a lot in this generation about church hurdy and it's like, yeah,

636
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:23,720
Speaker 5: because church is full of imperfect people, they don't hurt you.

637
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:27,119
Speaker 2: But that is not a reflection of God.

638
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 5: Like the reflection of God is that the fact that

639
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:35,000
Speaker 5: an imperfect person could still represent him and God doesn't

640
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:35,560
Speaker 5: change his mind.

641
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:36,760
Speaker 2: That's the reflection of God.

642
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:39,440
Speaker 5: Because when you find out someone's humanity, you like, how

643
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:42,280
Speaker 5: did they become where they became, that is the reflection

644
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,920
Speaker 5: of God. That's the grace and the mercy of God.

645
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:46,680
Speaker 5: And so I think we have to see it that way.

646
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:53,120
Speaker 5: But yeah, I learned forgiveness, learned I never like harbored stuff.

647
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:57,920
Speaker 2: I probably could have held them to a little.

648
00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 5: Bit more like responsibility. Never dealt with anything like that.

649
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:04,960
Speaker 5: There'sn't a playbook for how you should and I know,

650
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:07,400
Speaker 5: like I shared this this story recently, somebody's like, there's

651
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:10,360
Speaker 5: no way you honor somebody, I'm like, have you ever

652
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:13,760
Speaker 5: read the story of David and Saul? Yes, because Saul

653
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:17,240
Speaker 5: was trying to kill him, David had the opportunity to

654
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:19,360
Speaker 5: lay him out, and he.

655
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:21,120
Speaker 2: Just clips his little cloth like I could.

656
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:25,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, because you recognize that at some point this was

657
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:28,440
Speaker 5: God's man and until God removes me from this situation,

658
00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:32,640
Speaker 5: you don't allow people's shortcomings to change you in your heart.

659
00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:34,440
Speaker 5: And I think that's why we miss it when somebody

660
00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 5: hurt us, we want to.

661
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:37,440
Speaker 2: They go low, We want to go lower.

662
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:41,320
Speaker 5: I'm I'm going to the mud, and there's like yeah,

663
00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:43,120
Speaker 5: and then the core of that is that you changeing

664
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:45,440
Speaker 5: who you are, which is really the enemy's assignment.

665
00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, you realize I really low and lost yourself because

666
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:51,520
Speaker 1: of someone else.

667
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's crazy.

668
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:57,920
Speaker 1: Now do you feel like, how has that impacted the

669
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:01,160
Speaker 1: way you look at love, the way you're relationships now?

670
00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:04,680
Speaker 1: Is there like a mistrust or like a guardedness where

671
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 1: you're like.

672
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 2: I always say I live life with a universal side.

673
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:14,440
Speaker 5: Eye, like like yeah, right, you know it's very unhealthy.

674
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:19,040
Speaker 5: But you know somebody will say it's protection. It's really

675
00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 5: a prison, you know, if we think about it, it's

676
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:26,800
Speaker 5: like because I'm not allowing people to see, like experience

677
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:30,040
Speaker 5: the fullness of who I am, or I'm not getting.

678
00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:32,160
Speaker 2: To experience the fullness of what they're supposed to bring.

679
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:35,600
Speaker 5: Into my life because I'm like, at any moment, I always,

680
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:39,040
Speaker 5: I always like describe it as living life as if

681
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:40,680
Speaker 5: the bottom of the box is gonna fall out.

682
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:42,680
Speaker 2: Wow, Because you.

683
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:44,800
Speaker 5: Pack a box, you're like, ooh, I got this, you

684
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:47,880
Speaker 5: close it, and then now I'm holding it like at

685
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:50,080
Speaker 5: any moment, the bottom of because that's what I felt like.

686
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:53,080
Speaker 5: I felt like life just got ripped from underneath me.

687
00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:55,720
Speaker 5: We're not just talking about like, oh, I was dating

688
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:56,000
Speaker 5: a guid.

689
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:57,600
Speaker 3: That's my entire life.

690
00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:00,720
Speaker 5: Revolved around that system, my community friends. When I moved

691
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:02,960
Speaker 5: to l A and we'll go back, I hated going

692
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:06,760
Speaker 5: to Chicago. I hated going there. I like to see

693
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:08,720
Speaker 5: my parents, but I would be in and out because

694
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:10,320
Speaker 5: it will remind me of what I lost Because I.

695
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:13,080
Speaker 2: Lost, I lost everything. Essentially, I had to start over.

696
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,040
Speaker 5: And then that's when I started to become a little

697
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:18,240
Speaker 5: mean and bitter because it's like they did this, wow,

698
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:20,880
Speaker 5: So why do I have to start life over? And

699
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:24,840
Speaker 5: I moved to l A. Try it costs us to breathe.

700
00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:29,520
Speaker 5: It's air right now, too much. Yeah, and so it's like,

701
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:32,520
Speaker 5: why do it was taking me a minute like to

702
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 5: find a job, because because here's the thing, right, we

703
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:36,320
Speaker 5: like God got me.

704
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:38,960
Speaker 2: I didn't suffer through all this. So I'm about to

705
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:39,600
Speaker 2: be you know what.

706
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:42,040
Speaker 5: And here's the thing I'm I'm fine stunt on them

707
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:44,080
Speaker 5: like they ain't finish, because that's when somebody make you

708
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:45,440
Speaker 5: mad or they do something to you, the first thing

709
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:46,520
Speaker 5: you want to do is try to you want to

710
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:47,760
Speaker 5: level the wrong.

711
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:48,479
Speaker 2: That's dumb.

712
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:51,520
Speaker 5: It's so dumb when living my life to prove you

713
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 5: it's what you missed out on.

714
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 2: Y'all. Should never let me go.

715
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:59,880
Speaker 5: Y'all you fumbled them bad. You don't married like fumble men.

716
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:03,760
Speaker 5: And it's like that's stupid. And I believe that's why

717
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:05,560
Speaker 5: God did it, allowed to hap it right away. It's

718
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 5: like I got I got to do crazy things. Like

719
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:09,040
Speaker 5: when I first moved here, people couldn't even believe, like

720
00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:10,600
Speaker 5: you just moved here, you're still doing this year.

721
00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:13,680
Speaker 2: But God had to do with my heart and go like,

722
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 2: let's clean that up.

723
00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:18,560
Speaker 5: Especially now the level of influence I have, there's no

724
00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:21,520
Speaker 5: way I could be able to share my testimony if

725
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:23,680
Speaker 5: I was better, because you would be able to hear me.

726
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:25,000
Speaker 2: It's it's not even.

727
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:27,200
Speaker 5: Ever about them, It's about how I met God in

728
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:28,640
Speaker 5: the darkest place of my life.

729
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:30,680
Speaker 2: That that's like.

730
00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:34,720
Speaker 5: And so it's one of those things where I don't

731
00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:40,480
Speaker 5: know you just you have to trust God enough to

732
00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:42,240
Speaker 5: know that he knew I could handle that.

733
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:48,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no, for sure, that's deep. And I commend

734
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:50,080
Speaker 3: you because Brenda, I don't know.

735
00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:51,880
Speaker 2: How to handle that. I didn't handle it.

736
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:56,080
Speaker 3: That was I had just regular breakups bad.

737
00:32:56,480 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying, paper, I didn't handle it though.

738
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:05,520
Speaker 5: It was really the grace of God.

739
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:08,640
Speaker 1: Now you said that God told you to move a

740
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:12,200
Speaker 1: year before. Do you feel like if you had have

741
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:14,720
Speaker 1: moved a year before, you would have God would have

742
00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:15,320
Speaker 1: for sure.

743
00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:16,280
Speaker 2: Yeah.

744
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:18,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's why because people will always ask like, how

745
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:20,160
Speaker 5: do you just be obedient?

746
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:21,680
Speaker 2: Because I've experienced life.

747
00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 5: I've experienced life where you don't say when you don't

748
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:28,880
Speaker 5: do a God, there's no grace Like it's like when

749
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:31,360
Speaker 5: God is asking you to do something, we forget He

750
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:32,440
Speaker 5: got the whole picture.

751
00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:34,320
Speaker 2: I only got a portion of it.

752
00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:36,760
Speaker 5: I have the comfortable space I'm in right now that

753
00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:39,400
Speaker 5: I don't want to leave, but I need to trust

754
00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:42,320
Speaker 5: that he's in all knowing God. So he's like, hey,

755
00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:44,920
Speaker 5: it's time to go, it's time to go. I'm trying

756
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:47,880
Speaker 5: to go wherever he at and I didn't do it

757
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:50,880
Speaker 5: out of loyalty to that place. I'm like, now they

758
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:53,920
Speaker 5: need me. That's pride. That's usually if you ask yourself

759
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 5: why you're not doing anything God told you to do,

760
00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 5: You're gonna you're gonna say they need me.

761
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,080
Speaker 2: I can't go. You're not God.

762
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:02,640
Speaker 5: You're you're eliminating his ability to be God in their

763
00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:07,680
Speaker 5: lives cause you're occupying his space. So if he's saying

764
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 5: let's go, then I'm gonna roll with him. Cause so

765
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:13,200
Speaker 5: that's why I yeah, I don't fool with that no more,

766
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:14,439
Speaker 5: cause I'm good.

767
00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:18,320
Speaker 2: Got my lesson. Don't get a running back, right right?

768
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:18,840
Speaker 2: You know?

769
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:21,839
Speaker 5: So I think, yeah, I think what I'm learning is

770
00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:24,640
Speaker 5: or I guess what I'm asking God to continue to

771
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:27,360
Speaker 5: deal with me on is like my ability to trust people.

772
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:30,880
Speaker 5: Cause I feel like, you know, I'll be in a

773
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:33,160
Speaker 5: sace and I'm like yeah, and then the moment they

774
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:34,239
Speaker 5: do something, I'm like.

775
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:39,799
Speaker 2: See this, why don't mean you know, like so it's

776
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:41,960
Speaker 2: and it's not like I won't have connections with people.

777
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 5: I have a lot of connections with people, but they

778
00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:45,239
Speaker 5: won't get the core of me.

779
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:50,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, m m are you in therapy? I'm going back, okay,

780
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:55,160
Speaker 1: only asking that because I feel like people should be able.

781
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:56,440
Speaker 3: To experience the core of you.

782
00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:58,759
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Cause I can see it's

783
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:02,160
Speaker 1: like super beautiful, but when you have that that mask,

784
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:04,319
Speaker 1: that g that guard up, people don't really get to.

785
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:06,800
Speaker 4: Say sell you fully for sure.

786
00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 5: And it it's I could like I was going through

787
00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:12,200
Speaker 5: my phone the other day where I seen videos like

788
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:15,080
Speaker 5: prior to twenty eighteen, and I'm like, dang, I don't

789
00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:18,560
Speaker 5: even know that reson Like even like the fact I

790
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:20,640
Speaker 5: have a podcast, the fact that I publicly speak like

791
00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:24,440
Speaker 5: anybody who met me in twenty eighteen, it shocked that

792
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:26,120
Speaker 5: this is my life now cause I didn't. I would

793
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:27,759
Speaker 5: go to church, sit on the front road cause there

794
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:30,200
Speaker 5: was a door, and as soon as they said chalon shaloon, all.

795
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:30,719
Speaker 2: Was out the door.

796
00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:32,799
Speaker 5: We would wait in line before they opened the doors

797
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:34,120
Speaker 5: to the church. I'll just be on my phone or

798
00:35:34,160 --> 00:35:36,239
Speaker 5: I would FaceTime people, so nobody would talk to me.

799
00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:38,839
Speaker 5: I did not want interaction with people because I never

800
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:40,840
Speaker 5: wanted anybody to have the ability to hurt me the

801
00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:41,200
Speaker 5: way I.

802
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 3: Was hurting M.

803
00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:45,480
Speaker 2: So it was like I I we have a mutual friend, Randy.

804
00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:49,200
Speaker 5: Yes, I lived with Randy, Like the first I don't know,

805
00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:51,400
Speaker 5: five or six months I was here. I slipped on

806
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:52,759
Speaker 5: the air mattress in his living room.

807
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:55,640
Speaker 1: Oh he's I love him, and.

808
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:56,960
Speaker 5: Me and Randy just had a conversation cause he's like,

809
00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:59,120
Speaker 5: you were so mean and guarded.

810
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:00,160
Speaker 2: I lived in the house.

811
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 5: And then he saw an interview I did, and he

812
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,879
Speaker 5: was like, I never knew that's what you were going

813
00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:09,600
Speaker 5: because I didn't have language for I.

814
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:11,200
Speaker 2: Just went inside myself.

815
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:14,799
Speaker 5: And so even the first time, like I did a

816
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:17,719
Speaker 5: fast with my best friend and she's like, GOD told

817
00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:19,319
Speaker 5: you do a fast, What does it have to do

818
00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:21,520
Speaker 5: with me? And she's like, I feel like you're supposed

819
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:23,480
Speaker 5: to go on it with me, And I did the

820
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:26,240
Speaker 5: fast with her and not even recognizing that the fast

821
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:29,440
Speaker 5: was to break like the stuff that I was in

822
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:31,600
Speaker 5: so inside myself, I didn't want to pray y'all loud,

823
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:36,200
Speaker 5: and I would be like Africans pray different, and I'm

824
00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:39,360
Speaker 5: like whoa, y'all are going for hours.

825
00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 2: And I'll get my little three minutes in and then

826
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:41,839
Speaker 2: they had taken over.

827
00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:45,480
Speaker 5: And one day on that call, something broke, and from

828
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:47,040
Speaker 5: that moment forward, I hadn't been the same.

829
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:49,319
Speaker 2: I started a podcast, like I started to.

830
00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:51,440
Speaker 5: Find because usually it's like, man, I want to go

831
00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:53,720
Speaker 5: back to the person I was before that that'll never happen,

832
00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:56,440
Speaker 5: that that is a part of my life. But how

833
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 5: can I become the person God intended for me to

834
00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:01,960
Speaker 5: be with this a part of my story? Yeah?

835
00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:03,880
Speaker 2: And so it you know, baby steps.

836
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:06,719
Speaker 5: I feel like I've gotten a whole lot better, but

837
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:07,840
Speaker 5: then people start acting crazy.

838
00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:13,120
Speaker 2: Then I'm like, it's a universal side.

839
00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:14,000
Speaker 3: The universal side.

840
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:16,440
Speaker 2: I'm gonna use that, No, Crystal, we don't want to

841
00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:18,200
Speaker 2: live life with universal side eyes.

842
00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:21,840
Speaker 7: It is it's like, hey, like I want to be

843
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:27,319
Speaker 7: why and no cause why even now it's even ten

844
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:30,279
Speaker 7: times worse now right with exposure and like people know

845
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:33,359
Speaker 7: now you have to aside from what I've been through,

846
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:36,239
Speaker 7: you gotta go why is this person here?

847
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:37,800
Speaker 2: Why they found yourself?

848
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:41,480
Speaker 1: Even like with friends and relationships, because you're no assignments

849
00:37:41,480 --> 00:37:43,560
Speaker 1: on your life that you've had to filter through and

850
00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:45,520
Speaker 1: be like, mm, I can't hang with you as much

851
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:48,680
Speaker 1: or okay, you're good, you good, but no, you know

852
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:51,080
Speaker 1: cause I know for me with just with the level

853
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:54,120
Speaker 1: of success, I've had to do that because that happened.

854
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:56,239
Speaker 5: With you for sure a hundred percent, and even more

855
00:37:56,360 --> 00:38:04,759
Speaker 5: so because I don't think we recognize the weight of

856
00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:11,200
Speaker 5: friendship and covenant so so very similar to relations like

857
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:15,040
Speaker 5: romantic relationships. Right, you you connect with somebody, you say, man,

858
00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 5: it's my friend, there's an exchange that happens there, even

859
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:21,200
Speaker 5: emotionally but also spiritually, so then you recognize that you

860
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:26,080
Speaker 5: dealing with stuff that ancial stuff, but you've given that

861
00:38:26,239 --> 00:38:29,400
Speaker 5: spirit access because of the person you're connected to. And

862
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:31,640
Speaker 5: so for me, I feel like that's uh, something that

863
00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:34,880
Speaker 5: God's been teaching me in this season is like we

864
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 5: always say like, oh, we have to steward our gifts, right,

865
00:38:37,239 --> 00:38:38,440
Speaker 5: and what's been placing our hands.

866
00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:41,120
Speaker 2: We are also a thing that needs to be stewarded.

867
00:38:41,880 --> 00:38:45,000
Speaker 5: Me my life, who I am, who I allowed or

868
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:48,240
Speaker 5: I don't allow, like it it also needs to be steward.

869
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 2: And I didn't really think of it like that cause

870
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:53,239
Speaker 2: I finally got I'm like I want frans, but like.

871
00:38:55,280 --> 00:39:01,960
Speaker 5: Right, yeah, because that person is a that person represents

872
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:05,960
Speaker 5: you the moment I say Christmas, my friend. Yeah, I'm

873
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:11,320
Speaker 5: like then relaxing, Oh, that's that's Brenda friend.

874
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:14,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what I'm saying, Like you you gotta

875
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 2: be mindful of that.

876
00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 5: And true, I was l I was not like I

877
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:20,440
Speaker 5: I didn't think of it that deep cause I'm still

878
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:23,759
Speaker 5: regarding myself as Brenda, the normal girl that was on

879
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:26,759
Speaker 5: social media, right until people start attaching your name to

880
00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:29,960
Speaker 5: stuff that don't really align with you. M and I

881
00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:32,440
Speaker 5: have another level of that because I'm a minister of

882
00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:35,000
Speaker 5: the gospel. I'm not a celebrity. I'm not an influencer.

883
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:38,040
Speaker 5: I'm not famous. I'm a minister of the gospel, and

884
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:40,600
Speaker 5: nothing can taint that, right, nothing. I don't want anything

885
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:42,719
Speaker 5: to take my ability to be able to speak into

886
00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:45,160
Speaker 5: things and the anointing in the oil to flow the

887
00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:48,319
Speaker 5: way I needed it to flow, and so any that's

888
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:50,600
Speaker 5: that's what a lot of things. But friendships has been

889
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:54,600
Speaker 5: something that God's been on me about, and I like, randomly,

890
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:57,719
Speaker 5: He's like, God read Acts nine and it's like when

891
00:39:57,800 --> 00:40:00,520
Speaker 5: Paul is on the road to Damascus. So I'm thinking

892
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:02,560
Speaker 5: He's like wanted me to go into consecration. I'm like,

893
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:04,480
Speaker 5: I ain't trying to fast bruh, Right, I'm.

894
00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:06,239
Speaker 2: Like, but i'm'a read it. I'm reading it.

895
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:08,840
Speaker 5: And like, for those of you who don't know the story,

896
00:40:08,920 --> 00:40:11,520
Speaker 5: like Paul is like on his way somewhere, he has

897
00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:15,319
Speaker 5: an encounter, he goes blind, but then like Jesus gives

898
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:16,040
Speaker 5: him an instruction.

899
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 2: He says, go to Damascus.

900
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:20,840
Speaker 5: Well, when he stands up, he recognizes that he's blind,

901
00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:26,319
Speaker 5: and then it says his companions led him. M. I

902
00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:29,399
Speaker 5: had never seen that, M. And I was like, oh,

903
00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:32,399
Speaker 5: you you coming in my throat? Lord, and he's like yeah,

904
00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:35,120
Speaker 5: he said, are the people in your circle? Would you

905
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:37,320
Speaker 5: trust them to lead you to Jesus when you couldn't

906
00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:38,120
Speaker 5: see him yourself?

907
00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:40,160
Speaker 3: Mm? That is.

908
00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:42,680
Speaker 2: You on my street?

909
00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:48,880
Speaker 5: Get up, so I cause I am also something that

910
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:49,800
Speaker 5: needs to be stewarded.

911
00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:51,440
Speaker 2: Wow, I never read that scripture like that.

912
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:52,600
Speaker 3: But yes, and.

913
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:55,200
Speaker 6: Nobody we always hear about Paul being blind.

914
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:56,600
Speaker 2: Right, you need to go to the back how he

915
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:57,040
Speaker 2: got there.

916
00:40:58,520 --> 00:41:01,040
Speaker 5: I gotta rely on you to leave me to Jesus

917
00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:06,800
Speaker 5: gonna make it so. That made me start qualifying the relationships.

918
00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:09,399
Speaker 5: And here's the thing, right, it doesn't mean you get

919
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:11,279
Speaker 5: rid of everybody. It just means they need to be

920
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:13,880
Speaker 5: in the right position on the bus. Absolutely, because if

921
00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:16,600
Speaker 5: I gotta depend on your walk with Jesus to get

922
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:19,880
Speaker 5: me to him when I'm struggling myself, I need to

923
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:20,600
Speaker 5: check the circle.

924
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:23,760
Speaker 2: I need to go all right, are you here? Because

925
00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:25,239
Speaker 2: I'm supposed to. And that's a thing.

926
00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:28,400
Speaker 5: Like I also recognize that sometimes I'm coming into friendship

927
00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:32,040
Speaker 5: with people I'm called to disciple wow, and it's like

928
00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:36,880
Speaker 5: we gotta draw the line, like everybody can have access.

929
00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:39,800
Speaker 5: And for me that's really hard because I'm a people person.

930
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:40,399
Speaker 2: I love people.

931
00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:43,120
Speaker 5: I'm down to earth, and I don't want people to

932
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:46,160
Speaker 5: like she changed cause she you know what I'm saying,

933
00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:48,440
Speaker 5: Like I'm not changing, or maybe I am.

934
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:51,560
Speaker 3: But it's a good change. It's almost like with anything.

935
00:41:51,239 --> 00:41:53,799
Speaker 5: As you grow, you do we shouldn't change. Yeah, And

936
00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:56,480
Speaker 5: it's like no, excuse me. It's like, no, I'm being

937
00:41:56,640 --> 00:42:00,480
Speaker 5: entrusted with this level of influence. I have to steward

938
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:02,880
Speaker 5: it properly because I want God to continue.

939
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:02,920
Speaker 2: To trust me.

940
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:03,319
Speaker 1: Yes.

941
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:07,200
Speaker 2: Yes, So that's how the friendship stuff be going.

942
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:12,319
Speaker 1: So there was this video that went viral about you

943
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:18,040
Speaker 1: denouncing your sorority. Yeah, and my mom and aunt are

944
00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:18,760
Speaker 1: both Delta's.

945
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:20,080
Speaker 2: All my friends are a Ka's.

946
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:22,200
Speaker 3: What was that that led you to that?

947
00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:24,160
Speaker 1: Now I've noticed like people are having meetings about I

948
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:26,440
Speaker 1: think Essence World an article on it. It's become like

949
00:42:26,440 --> 00:42:29,040
Speaker 1: a real topic since you actually opened up about it.

950
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:31,719
Speaker 1: And how do you feel about the conversations that are

951
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:34,560
Speaker 1: being had after you actually taking your stands on it?

952
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:36,160
Speaker 1: And then what led you to the point where you said,

953
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:37,480
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm gonna let this go.

954
00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:41,759
Speaker 5: First of all, I didn't know it was gonna turn

955
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:45,560
Speaker 5: up to be what it yeah, Like, I think I think,

956
00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:50,279
Speaker 5: in hindsight, I wouldn't have done it where I did

957
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:52,680
Speaker 5: it because I talked about it in the middle of

958
00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:55,280
Speaker 5: a sermon and it was just because I was preaching

959
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:56,560
Speaker 5: on idols and it kind of.

960
00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:57,520
Speaker 2: Just came up.

961
00:42:57,560 --> 00:42:59,759
Speaker 5: It wasn't like I did two services that day. It

962
00:42:59,760 --> 00:43:01,759
Speaker 5: wasn't in the first service. It just happened in the

963
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:02,440
Speaker 5: second one.

964
00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:05,879
Speaker 2: And so I think that I have.

965
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:09,600
Speaker 5: Been most shocked that the most pushback has come from

966
00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:13,319
Speaker 5: church people. I thought, I thought, here's the thing, right,

967
00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 5: I was not oblivious to the fight I was picking.

968
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:20,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, It's like I already know how this is gonna be.

969
00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:24,040
Speaker 5: I I was a Delta for twelve years, so I

970
00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:27,080
Speaker 5: know I was one of the people on the other side.

971
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:30,200
Speaker 2: Going, oh my god, y'all not care all, like it's

972
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:30,799
Speaker 2: not that deep.

973
00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:34,840
Speaker 5: And so I was aware of like the pushback in

974
00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:38,320
Speaker 5: the warfare right, it's like I struck an altar, So

975
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:40,640
Speaker 5: I already know, like I knew what was gonna happen.

976
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:43,279
Speaker 5: I think that I think the misconception could be that

977
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:47,239
Speaker 5: I'm trying to force something down someone's throat when that's

978
00:43:47,320 --> 00:43:48,719
Speaker 5: never like my vibe.

979
00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:52,000
Speaker 2: Like if anybody is like what you do, what you

980
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:52,400
Speaker 2: want to do?

981
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:54,080
Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying, Like I don't take my

982
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:56,399
Speaker 5: word for it, don't open the Bible, that's find out.

983
00:43:56,760 --> 00:44:00,359
Speaker 5: And so I feel like for me, like if you've

984
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:02,319
Speaker 5: engaged with any of my content, you will know, like

985
00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:04,680
Speaker 5: whatever I'm going through in life, i'm'a share it. This

986
00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:07,080
Speaker 5: happened to be something I had just the first time

987
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:10,080
Speaker 5: I shared it, uh was on another podcast well because

988
00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:12,160
Speaker 5: I had just renounced the day before WR so it's

989
00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:15,320
Speaker 5: very fresh. Yeah, it was like, oh I wa okay,

990
00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:16,920
Speaker 5: So just like this, I was doing an interview with

991
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:20,640
Speaker 5: this girl and in the conversation, she keeps bringing up

992
00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:23,759
Speaker 5: that she like renounced her sorority and she doesn't like

993
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:25,840
Speaker 5: say what it is. I'm getting irritated cause I'm like,

994
00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:27,000
Speaker 5: this has nothing to do with the conversation.

995
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:28,000
Speaker 2: Why does she keep saying it?

996
00:44:29,160 --> 00:44:31,480
Speaker 5: And we talked about the conversation was about purpose, and

997
00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:34,160
Speaker 5: so she goes, yeah, like I renounce whatever. And so

998
00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:37,879
Speaker 5: then I start because she keeps repeating it. I start

999
00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:41,239
Speaker 5: asking the Lord, what are you after? Because something keeps

1000
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:43,280
Speaker 5: coming up. It had came up for me, like earlier

1001
00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:44,800
Speaker 5: that week in some another space.

1002
00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:46,399
Speaker 2: So I'm like, what's going on?

1003
00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:49,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, And so long story short, she was in the

1004
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:52,399
Speaker 5: same sorority I was a part of. And so then

1005
00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:54,879
Speaker 5: she goes, yeah, like I wrote this, I have this

1006
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:57,080
Speaker 5: podcast or whatever. You should listen to it. I was like,

1007
00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:59,080
Speaker 5: oh yeah, cool, Like I'll check it out. She's like, na,

1008
00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:00,520
Speaker 5: and I'm gonna send you a lit her. She said,

1009
00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:01,920
Speaker 5: cause Brenda, we need to get you out of there.

1010
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:04,320
Speaker 5: And I just go like, I laugh, you know, like

1011
00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:05,239
Speaker 5: how you did with your gird.

1012
00:45:07,239 --> 00:45:10,040
Speaker 2: I like yeah, yeah, yeah, hear, Yeah, I'm here.

1013
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:13,719
Speaker 5: And so that was like it was like a week

1014
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:16,000
Speaker 5: went by. Yeah, I'm driving I'm about to fly to Atlanta.

1015
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:19,000
Speaker 5: I'm driving home from the mall and Holy Spiritists put

1016
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:20,920
Speaker 5: the podcast on cause it wasn't a visual one. So

1017
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:22,520
Speaker 5: I was never gonna listen to it. Okay, that's just

1018
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:22,920
Speaker 5: the truth.

1019
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:26,000
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be listening to podcasts right watch you know

1020
00:45:26,320 --> 00:45:26,560
Speaker 2: you're not.

1021
00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:28,120
Speaker 3: Gonna listen listen to I'm just saying I like to

1022
00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:28,880
Speaker 3: I'm a visual.

1023
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:30,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, so I'm like, I'm never finna watch this. It's

1024
00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:32,400
Speaker 5: like the Nerve review to send me something.

1025
00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 2: That was audio, and Holy Spirits says, put it on.

1026
00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:38,560
Speaker 5: So driving in the car, I'm driving from like the

1027
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:41,760
Speaker 5: grove and I live far so I had like forty

1028
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:43,480
Speaker 5: eight minutes right, Holy Swiss has put it on the

1029
00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:44,920
Speaker 5: podcast an hour and two minutes.

1030
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:46,880
Speaker 2: I got home in an hour and three minutes.

1031
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:50,040
Speaker 5: Wow, And I was like, bruh. So I'm listening to

1032
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:53,360
Speaker 5: the podcast now. Something about me is like I pledged

1033
00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:57,799
Speaker 5: in twenty eleven and I could not remember like what

1034
00:45:57,840 --> 00:45:59,360
Speaker 5: I actually did, like the.

1035
00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:02,719
Speaker 2: Whole crossing process. I have no recollection of it.

1036
00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:03,239
Speaker 3: Oh wow.

1037
00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:06,200
Speaker 5: And so I'm like listening to the podcast and she

1038
00:46:06,239 --> 00:46:09,880
Speaker 5: starts saying, twenty minutes in, I'm bawling because she starts

1039
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:14,040
Speaker 5: talking about how she starts saying like, Okay, we take

1040
00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:18,200
Speaker 5: an oath, and in the oath we say, like the

1041
00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:22,279
Speaker 5: president of the chapter says, you are taking like this

1042
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:26,120
Speaker 5: oath before the eternal spirit of truth and you cannot

1043
00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:30,120
Speaker 5: leave it until the day of judgment. That we say

1044
00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:33,800
Speaker 5: these things, and then we are at a ceremonial table

1045
00:46:33,840 --> 00:46:35,800
Speaker 5: that has a candle that's lit. We have to kneel

1046
00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:39,320
Speaker 5: at it and we take this oath. So the argument

1047
00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:41,440
Speaker 5: on social media is like, this.

1048
00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:43,680
Speaker 2: Is not an idol for me. I still love the Lord,

1049
00:46:43,719 --> 00:46:46,680
Speaker 2: I still do this. No, the it's inheritedly an idol.

1050
00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:48,399
Speaker 2: It is idolatry.

1051
00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:52,640
Speaker 5: The moment I take an oath, you are deceived to

1052
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:55,719
Speaker 5: think you're taking an oath to an organization. But every

1053
00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:59,880
Speaker 5: organization has a Greek deity attached to it, right right,

1054
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:04,640
Speaker 5: And it's not like not know we talk to Minerva

1055
00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:08,520
Speaker 5: like it in the process she is present, wow, and

1056
00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:11,640
Speaker 5: so like she said, I'm listening to the podcast and

1057
00:47:11,680 --> 00:47:14,240
Speaker 5: I'm going, bro, I didn't want.

1058
00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:17,920
Speaker 2: I'm like, nah, I didn't do that, and.

1059
00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:20,160
Speaker 5: I'm like I did do that, and she said something

1060
00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:23,320
Speaker 5: she says and this is when I make the decision.

1061
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:25,520
Speaker 5: She says, when you show up to an altar without

1062
00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:29,080
Speaker 5: a sacrifice, you're the sacrifice. I said, actually, I will

1063
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:30,440
Speaker 5: not be and y'all can get me up out of

1064
00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:31,439
Speaker 5: here immediately.

1065
00:47:32,120 --> 00:47:32,839
Speaker 2: And so it's like.

1066
00:47:34,760 --> 00:47:37,160
Speaker 5: What I always say is like, bro, like don't take

1067
00:47:37,200 --> 00:47:39,319
Speaker 5: my word for it. The fact that I'm saying, Bro,

1068
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:43,640
Speaker 5: this is idolatry. Go check it out. Like when Satan

1069
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:46,680
Speaker 5: tempts Jesus right before he goes into his ministry, he

1070
00:47:47,080 --> 00:47:50,160
Speaker 5: perverts scripture, he uses scripture and spits it to Jesus

1071
00:47:50,160 --> 00:47:52,160
Speaker 5: like he isn't the word we're gonna get on him?

1072
00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:57,080
Speaker 5: And Jesus is like, no, these organizations are taking actual scripture,

1073
00:47:57,280 --> 00:48:00,080
Speaker 5: removing words from it and putting in words.

1074
00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:03,839
Speaker 2: That represent the organization. Bruh, that's we can't do that.

1075
00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:06,799
Speaker 5: And so I commented on the essence thing because I

1076
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:09,239
Speaker 5: was like, come on and let the conversation go. And

1077
00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:12,439
Speaker 5: so I put on there like, bro, don't I think

1078
00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:14,640
Speaker 5: that because what used to irritate me was like when

1079
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:17,720
Speaker 5: people would denounce, they would give like black Israelite energy.

1080
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:21,319
Speaker 2: It's like, stop yelling at me.

1081
00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:24,560
Speaker 5: I'm not even listening to nothing you're saying. And understanding

1082
00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:26,799
Speaker 5: the severity of it. I know why they go that heart,

1083
00:48:27,600 --> 00:48:29,960
Speaker 5: but I feel like God's given me a grace to

1084
00:48:30,200 --> 00:48:32,920
Speaker 5: communicate hard truths on a level where you will at

1085
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:35,719
Speaker 5: least go check it for yourself. And I had a

1086
00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:37,640
Speaker 5: friend who I went to middle school with that every

1087
00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:39,520
Speaker 5: time I would post something about it, I would think

1088
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:43,320
Speaker 5: about her because she had just crossed AKA the year before,

1089
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:46,480
Speaker 5: like the end of last year, And so every time

1090
00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:48,480
Speaker 5: I would post something, I would go harder.

1091
00:48:48,640 --> 00:48:49,400
Speaker 2: She's looking at it.

1092
00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:53,200
Speaker 5: And the crazy thing was, I went home for Mother's

1093
00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:56,160
Speaker 5: Day and she sent me this long message about denouncing Wow,

1094
00:48:56,280 --> 00:48:59,520
Speaker 5: and she had just like she was and she goes

1095
00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:01,360
Speaker 5: she said that, Brenda, what you did for me was

1096
00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:04,840
Speaker 5: you disarmed me enough to go research it myself.

1097
00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:06,480
Speaker 2: And that is my heart.

1098
00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:09,000
Speaker 5: It's not because if you do it just because somebody

1099
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:10,400
Speaker 5: told you to do it, it's not gonna last.

1100
00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:11,640
Speaker 2: It's not gonna take root.

1101
00:49:11,719 --> 00:49:13,200
Speaker 5: I want you to go and do the same thing

1102
00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:15,160
Speaker 5: I did, but just start researching.

1103
00:49:15,360 --> 00:49:15,400
Speaker 3: No.

1104
00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:17,879
Speaker 2: I did say that it says eternal Spirit of truth.

1105
00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:21,280
Speaker 2: Who is that? Because Jesus is the Way, the Truth,

1106
00:49:21,360 --> 00:49:22,080
Speaker 2: and the life.

1107
00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:25,719
Speaker 5: So somebody else claiming his name, that's another God. So

1108
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:28,279
Speaker 5: it's like it's it's clear as day. It's just we

1109
00:49:28,280 --> 00:49:29,880
Speaker 5: don't want to see it because we don't want to

1110
00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:31,439
Speaker 5: own it. And I get, man, I know what those

1111
00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:35,080
Speaker 5: organizations have done for the black community, what they've done

1112
00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:37,440
Speaker 5: to progress us, but they're doing it all in the

1113
00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:41,200
Speaker 5: name of another God. So it's like we do community

1114
00:49:41,239 --> 00:49:43,080
Speaker 5: service and whose name? Because you don't show up there

1115
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:46,200
Speaker 5: and say we're here in Jesus' name. You said you

1116
00:49:46,280 --> 00:49:48,720
Speaker 5: a name of whatever the organization is. So who's getting

1117
00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:52,319
Speaker 5: the credit or the other argument it is, this is

1118
00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:53,759
Speaker 5: Christian principles.

1119
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:55,680
Speaker 2: You know what Christian principle is, love your neighbor.

1120
00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:58,000
Speaker 5: I can take that and say, wow, that sounds really

1121
00:49:58,040 --> 00:50:01,080
Speaker 5: good and go start a Satan mis ORGANI and say

1122
00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:04,360
Speaker 5: it's founded on Christian principles, not Christian principles?

1123
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:07,360
Speaker 2: Is it christ centered? Where is Jesus in this? And

1124
00:50:07,400 --> 00:50:09,279
Speaker 2: so I think, like for me, it was pretty cut

1125
00:50:09,280 --> 00:50:11,319
Speaker 2: it dry. It took me twenty minutes because I.

1126
00:50:11,280 --> 00:50:13,879
Speaker 5: Cried because I couldn't believe that I had taken an

1127
00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:15,840
Speaker 5: oath to another.

1128
00:50:15,920 --> 00:50:17,800
Speaker 2: I would never do that in my right mind.

1129
00:50:18,480 --> 00:50:22,840
Speaker 5: But it happens as we're like teenagers right at the

1130
00:50:22,880 --> 00:50:28,040
Speaker 5: brink of adulthood there he ain't thinking about no covenant

1131
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:31,080
Speaker 5: since nobody saying, well, maybe I should research this. And

1132
00:50:31,120 --> 00:50:32,840
Speaker 5: the reason it made it to essence is because a

1133
00:50:32,880 --> 00:50:36,280
Speaker 5: girl who had just crossed two weeks prior she denounced.

1134
00:50:36,440 --> 00:50:41,280
Speaker 1: Wow Wow, and that's Do you feel like there's anything

1135
00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:45,319
Speaker 1: that the organization could do to make it right? Like

1136
00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:47,759
Speaker 1: within like I know they have to change like a

1137
00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:49,120
Speaker 1: lot within the organization.

1138
00:50:49,800 --> 00:50:50,919
Speaker 3: I feel like it's pretty much.

1139
00:50:51,200 --> 00:50:54,920
Speaker 2: I mean, I think anything can be redeemed. I just

1140
00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:56,600
Speaker 2: don't know if that can be ridiculous. I don't know

1141
00:50:56,600 --> 00:50:58,120
Speaker 2: if it was ever for the Lord. You know what

1142
00:50:58,120 --> 00:50:59,600
Speaker 2: I'm saying. I don't, and I don't.

1143
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:02,520
Speaker 5: There's another thing, right, I don't think that that organization

1144
00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:04,839
Speaker 5: knew that's what they.

1145
00:51:04,760 --> 00:51:07,560
Speaker 3: Were doing, you know what I'm saying now that they know, I.

1146
00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:08,239
Speaker 2: Don't know if they know.

1147
00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:10,160
Speaker 5: I don't know if they want to hear that. I mean,

1148
00:51:10,160 --> 00:51:13,719
Speaker 5: because they had and there's when you are renouncing. They asked,

1149
00:51:13,840 --> 00:51:16,520
Speaker 5: would you like to discuss what you're like with them

1150
00:51:16,560 --> 00:51:19,279
Speaker 5: about it? I clicked yes, yes, and they responded. But

1151
00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:21,560
Speaker 5: then after I reached out to follow up for us

1152
00:51:21,560 --> 00:51:24,200
Speaker 5: to have a conversation, they didn't cause on my like

1153
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:26,000
Speaker 5: my paper. They asked, you know, like why are you leaving?

1154
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:31,719
Speaker 5: I was like, this goes against Jesus period, I want out, Yes,

1155
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:33,960
Speaker 5: and it is. It's like it's the grace and mercy

1156
00:51:33,960 --> 00:51:37,480
Speaker 5: of God that will tell you, like I mean, because

1157
00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:39,640
Speaker 5: you're still allowed to do I was still preaching. Yeah,

1158
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:42,399
Speaker 5: I had no knowledge that that's what I was doing.

1159
00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:44,799
Speaker 5: So I think there's a grace, right, but the moment

1160
00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:47,040
Speaker 5: you come into truth, you're responsible for what you do

1161
00:51:47,120 --> 00:51:50,640
Speaker 5: with that. And people like I've seen all the arguments,

1162
00:51:50,719 --> 00:51:53,640
Speaker 5: and the first thing I thought was, I've seen a

1163
00:51:53,719 --> 00:51:57,319
Speaker 5: lot of pastors, you know, give clap back and what

1164
00:51:57,320 --> 00:52:00,000
Speaker 5: they shouldn't do. I've seen them defend their letters more

1165
00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:01,719
Speaker 5: or then I've seen them defend the actual church.

1166
00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:02,320
Speaker 2: Wow.

1167
00:52:02,520 --> 00:52:06,360
Speaker 5: And I think that says a lot about where that

1168
00:52:06,640 --> 00:52:08,479
Speaker 5: the weight that holds in their life.

1169
00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:11,879
Speaker 2: Absolutely, because the church begins bullets every week. I ain't

1170
00:52:11,880 --> 00:52:13,680
Speaker 2: seen y'all make no podcasts.

1171
00:52:13,760 --> 00:52:16,320
Speaker 5: I ain't seen y'all go in the shape room comments

1172
00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:19,200
Speaker 5: and drop you know what the Lord said about the church.

1173
00:52:19,280 --> 00:52:20,799
Speaker 2: The institution he is, you know what I'm saying.

1174
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:23,520
Speaker 5: So I think that in itself proves what has your

1175
00:52:23,560 --> 00:52:25,959
Speaker 5: heart and what has your loyalty, and so I really

1176
00:52:26,280 --> 00:52:28,120
Speaker 5: I don't wanna argue about it.

1177
00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:29,399
Speaker 2: I that's never been my heart.

1178
00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:32,040
Speaker 5: I'm just saying, Hey, I'm on the journey to following

1179
00:52:32,120 --> 00:52:36,080
Speaker 5: Jesus and this is what I came across, and you're

1180
00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:37,280
Speaker 5: welcome to step into.

1181
00:52:37,120 --> 00:52:37,759
Speaker 2: This truth or not.

1182
00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:39,359
Speaker 5: Yeah, cause it says we have to work out our

1183
00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:42,839
Speaker 5: own salvation, right, m So I can't stand in line

1184
00:52:42,880 --> 00:52:44,839
Speaker 5: with Jesus for you and vice versa.

1185
00:52:45,160 --> 00:52:45,359
Speaker 3: Right.

1186
00:52:45,480 --> 00:52:50,000
Speaker 8: No, for sure, there is people believe you're a preacher, right,

1187
00:52:50,080 --> 00:52:52,640
Speaker 8: you know the Bible back and forth, you understand scripture,

1188
00:52:52,920 --> 00:52:56,439
Speaker 8: You're you getting this theological understanding, until they believe they

1189
00:52:56,480 --> 00:52:58,600
Speaker 8: can't fathom that you could.

1190
00:52:58,440 --> 00:53:01,080
Speaker 3: Experience seasons of us like seasons.

1191
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:04,480
Speaker 6: Where you are not feeling close to God, you're lacking

1192
00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:07,719
Speaker 6: faith whatever that is, right, And then there's also the

1193
00:53:07,760 --> 00:53:11,359
Speaker 6: fact that again, because you're human, you battle things through

1194
00:53:11,360 --> 00:53:13,440
Speaker 6: depression and anybody else will be like, but how you're

1195
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:15,440
Speaker 6: a preacher, so you should know what the formula is

1196
00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:17,759
Speaker 6: to tell this, So how do you reconcile that, Like,

1197
00:53:17,800 --> 00:53:21,879
Speaker 6: how do you navigate as a minister of the world

1198
00:53:21,920 --> 00:53:24,520
Speaker 6: those seasons where you don't feel that closeness to God

1199
00:53:24,520 --> 00:53:26,480
Speaker 6: and you don't feel that proximity or you feel like

1200
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:27,480
Speaker 6: there's a lack of faith.

1201
00:53:28,239 --> 00:53:32,040
Speaker 5: Okay, So I think the misconception is that because someone

1202
00:53:32,280 --> 00:53:36,160
Speaker 5: is I don't, I don't like further along in their faith.

1203
00:53:36,200 --> 00:53:38,120
Speaker 5: But I guess because you would always see me preaching.

1204
00:53:38,320 --> 00:53:40,880
Speaker 5: I think the ideas that I don't struggle with human things,

1205
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:43,560
Speaker 5: and I think, like that doesn't make sense because I'm

1206
00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:48,160
Speaker 5: a human. I think part of that comes from leaders

1207
00:53:48,239 --> 00:53:51,759
Speaker 5: not being transparent when they're given the opportunity to. And

1208
00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:54,799
Speaker 5: I feel like that is why I'm very intentional, like nah,

1209
00:53:54,920 --> 00:53:58,279
Speaker 5: or I struggle today, Yeah, because I need people to know,

1210
00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:02,400
Speaker 5: like we on this jogether, like I know I'm struggling.

1211
00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:03,880
Speaker 2: You might be struggling.

1212
00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:06,800
Speaker 5: I'm struggling too, And so I think for me, it

1213
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:08,920
Speaker 5: keeps me from becoming an idol, cause.

1214
00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:11,560
Speaker 2: I'm like, nah, bruh, I was just struggling with that yesterday.

1215
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:17,719
Speaker 5: And I think that it allowed, like inviting people into

1216
00:54:17,760 --> 00:54:20,480
Speaker 5: that space helps for me to say, like I'm struggling,

1217
00:54:20,560 --> 00:54:22,520
Speaker 5: I don't have it. Sometimes I live in a cubby

1218
00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:25,799
Speaker 5: hole because when I'm going through depression or battling it,

1219
00:54:26,160 --> 00:54:29,040
Speaker 5: I think what I recognize is those are the moments

1220
00:54:29,040 --> 00:54:31,759
Speaker 5: where I feel got the closest. Yes, Like, it's not

1221
00:54:31,840 --> 00:54:34,440
Speaker 5: when I'm on a platform preaching. It's not when I'm

1222
00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:37,280
Speaker 5: shooting a podcast or doing an interview or whatever people

1223
00:54:37,320 --> 00:54:39,759
Speaker 5: think is the pinnacle of success.

1224
00:54:39,960 --> 00:54:40,759
Speaker 2: I feel God the.

1225
00:54:40,640 --> 00:54:43,279
Speaker 5: Most when I need him the most, and so I

1226
00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:47,560
Speaker 5: think being transparent helps with that. I've I've journeyed through anxiety.

1227
00:54:47,640 --> 00:54:49,960
Speaker 5: I don't deal with that no more because I've come

1228
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:53,319
Speaker 5: into the revelation of like, no, I have authority over this.

1229
00:54:53,600 --> 00:54:53,839
Speaker 2: Yes.

1230
00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:57,760
Speaker 5: And there is a blueprint for anxiety. It's in scripture.

1231
00:54:57,920 --> 00:55:03,000
Speaker 5: It says be anxious for nothing, period. That's a command. Yeah,

1232
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:05,800
Speaker 5: And so I practiced that. How am I not anxious?

1233
00:55:05,880 --> 00:55:07,880
Speaker 5: Whatever I'm worried about, I take it to the Lord.

1234
00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:08,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it don't.

1235
00:55:08,560 --> 00:55:11,239
Speaker 5: Gotta be this whole like come humbly as you. I'm like, hey,

1236
00:55:11,239 --> 00:55:14,040
Speaker 5: bruh uh. I'm trying to figure out how we gonna.

1237
00:55:13,800 --> 00:55:14,279
Speaker 2: Make this happen.

1238
00:55:15,320 --> 00:55:18,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, It's like, nah, he he is ever present, you

1239
00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:21,799
Speaker 5: know what I'm saying. And I've depression runs in my

1240
00:55:21,880 --> 00:55:22,439
Speaker 5: blood line.

1241
00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:22,840
Speaker 2: M I C.

1242
00:55:22,880 --> 00:55:25,319
Speaker 5: I can remember having a aunt who was very like

1243
00:55:25,400 --> 00:55:28,440
Speaker 5: put together, very bougie, and I've seen her in a

1244
00:55:28,520 --> 00:55:31,040
Speaker 5: dark place m I it's scared to living day.

1245
00:55:30,920 --> 00:55:32,280
Speaker 2: Like it's etched in my mind.

1246
00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:34,759
Speaker 5: I maybe was like nine or ten, and I could

1247
00:55:34,800 --> 00:55:37,040
Speaker 5: see her sitting in the dark house in a row,

1248
00:55:37,560 --> 00:55:40,360
Speaker 5: not looking like herself, and I'm like, I never wanna

1249
00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:44,280
Speaker 5: experience that. But it's blood line, like my grandfather, my dad,

1250
00:55:44,400 --> 00:55:47,720
Speaker 5: my aunt, and so it's like, nah, bro, this stops

1251
00:55:47,760 --> 00:55:50,400
Speaker 5: with me. Yes, But that situation that I told you

1252
00:55:50,440 --> 00:55:55,000
Speaker 5: about earlier, like that I probably walked through every mental illness, yeah,

1253
00:55:55,160 --> 00:55:57,000
Speaker 5: you know, like in processing that, but I do R.

1254
00:55:57,160 --> 00:56:01,879
Speaker 5: I remember having this moment where I consider taking my life,

1255
00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:05,040
Speaker 5: and I guess now the term for it is passive

1256
00:56:05,160 --> 00:56:11,600
Speaker 5: suicidal I ideology where you like don't like you, not

1257
00:56:11,640 --> 00:56:13,480
Speaker 5: like i'm'a kill myself, but you feel like you have

1258
00:56:13,520 --> 00:56:17,440
Speaker 5: nothing to live for us, so you're passively thinking about suicide.

1259
00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:20,400
Speaker 5: And I didn't even recognize this was a year today.

1260
00:56:20,440 --> 00:56:23,720
Speaker 5: I had just moved to late August of twenty eighteen.

1261
00:56:23,800 --> 00:56:26,879
Speaker 5: This happened April twenty nineteen, so it's a year from

1262
00:56:26,880 --> 00:56:30,200
Speaker 5: when that stuff happened. Our body remembers trauma, yes, And

1263
00:56:30,239 --> 00:56:31,920
Speaker 5: I hadn't even recognized that I was in the.

1264
00:56:31,840 --> 00:56:36,600
Speaker 2: Bed for five days. Wow, like just but I.

1265
00:56:36,560 --> 00:56:38,640
Speaker 5: Had a I lived in a house with like five girls,

1266
00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:41,400
Speaker 5: and I had a roommate who knocked on my door.

1267
00:56:41,280 --> 00:56:46,240
Speaker 2: Every day MM. And she would just mm.

1268
00:56:46,280 --> 00:56:48,799
Speaker 5: Some days I would yell at her. Some days I'll

1269
00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:51,600
Speaker 5: act like I ain't here. Yeah, but she would come

1270
00:56:51,640 --> 00:56:55,160
Speaker 5: back every single day. Thank God friends that not like

1271
00:56:55,239 --> 00:56:56,960
Speaker 5: seriously bruh.

1272
00:56:57,080 --> 00:56:57,279
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1273
00:56:57,400 --> 00:56:59,439
Speaker 5: And and she has like this, her name is Nick,

1274
00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:01,480
Speaker 5: but she had like this little soft voice and she's

1275
00:57:01,520 --> 00:57:05,480
Speaker 5: like Brenda. She's like, she's like, I just wanted to

1276
00:57:05,520 --> 00:57:07,760
Speaker 5: know if you wanted to come out and like watch TV,

1277
00:57:07,960 --> 00:57:10,759
Speaker 5: cause like TV is my love language, Okay.

1278
00:57:10,360 --> 00:57:13,680
Speaker 2: And so she's like yeah, and I'm like nah, bruh.

1279
00:57:14,200 --> 00:57:15,560
Speaker 5: Like or I would yell at her some days I

1280
00:57:15,600 --> 00:57:18,440
Speaker 5: wouldn't even But to be so far in yourself that

1281
00:57:18,480 --> 00:57:20,280
Speaker 5: you don't even recognize that you have I have been

1282
00:57:20,360 --> 00:57:21,680
Speaker 5: laying there for five just.

1283
00:57:21,560 --> 00:57:24,440
Speaker 2: Not moving MM. Cause I think at that point.

1284
00:57:24,280 --> 00:57:28,680
Speaker 5: I was like, I I we can't end this, like

1285
00:57:28,720 --> 00:57:31,520
Speaker 5: I I don't feel like I have anything to live

1286
00:57:31,560 --> 00:57:33,600
Speaker 5: for it mm And.

1287
00:57:35,120 --> 00:57:36,680
Speaker 2: Like clockwork, she would knock on the door.

1288
00:57:36,840 --> 00:57:39,200
Speaker 5: So maybe day five, I was like, if I don't

1289
00:57:39,240 --> 00:57:43,880
Speaker 5: get up, she's never gonna leave it. So I did.

1290
00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:46,240
Speaker 5: I I ended up getting up. We watched TV and

1291
00:57:46,240 --> 00:57:46,920
Speaker 5: then we're sitting there.

1292
00:57:46,920 --> 00:57:48,800
Speaker 2: She's like, you wanna go get ice cream?

1293
00:57:48,840 --> 00:57:52,480
Speaker 5: So then I got dressed, took a shower, put on clothes, MM,

1294
00:57:52,640 --> 00:57:53,320
Speaker 5: go get ice cream.

1295
00:57:53,360 --> 00:57:54,440
Speaker 2: She's like, you wanna go walk?

1296
00:57:54,920 --> 00:57:58,919
Speaker 5: So, like we go to the lake and I broke down.

1297
00:57:59,280 --> 00:58:04,360
Speaker 5: And I think in that moment, ah, I feel like

1298
00:58:05,960 --> 00:58:08,160
Speaker 5: that was when I like, even though it was nick,

1299
00:58:08,800 --> 00:58:11,840
Speaker 5: it's like that's how God pursues us. It is like

1300
00:58:12,720 --> 00:58:17,480
Speaker 5: cause cause usually we have those moments alone, you know,

1301
00:58:17,680 --> 00:58:21,120
Speaker 5: like n nobody knows that's the stuff we carry, Like

1302
00:58:21,200 --> 00:58:24,840
Speaker 5: nobody knows those dark moments. But he's the one that

1303
00:58:24,920 --> 00:58:28,800
Speaker 5: keeps knocking. And you might think, like, man, God isn't. No,

1304
00:58:29,080 --> 00:58:33,400
Speaker 5: He's right there in that with you, like always, cause

1305
00:58:33,400 --> 00:58:36,520
Speaker 5: sometimes I don't have the language to articulate how I feel.

1306
00:58:36,760 --> 00:58:37,840
Speaker 2: It's just how I feel.

1307
00:58:38,360 --> 00:58:41,400
Speaker 5: I could be lived, life could be great, and that

1308
00:58:41,400 --> 00:58:42,640
Speaker 5: thing will sit on you.

1309
00:58:42,920 --> 00:58:47,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm like, nah, bro, that gave me.

1310
00:58:47,280 --> 00:58:50,480
Speaker 5: A clear picture of how much God loves me and

1311
00:58:51,040 --> 00:58:53,040
Speaker 5: us to articulate that.

1312
00:58:53,280 --> 00:58:53,600
Speaker 2: And so.

1313
00:58:55,080 --> 00:58:58,480
Speaker 5: I think sometimes it's pride that makes us go like nah,

1314
00:58:58,520 --> 00:58:59,520
Speaker 5: I don't I don't deal with that.

1315
00:58:59,640 --> 00:59:02,400
Speaker 2: No, I deal with that. It's why I need God. Yeah.

1316
00:59:02,640 --> 00:59:05,280
Speaker 2: I feel like the higher you rise, the more you

1317
00:59:05,320 --> 00:59:05,800
Speaker 2: deal with that.

1318
00:59:06,840 --> 00:59:07,960
Speaker 3: What y'all think me?

1319
00:59:08,640 --> 00:59:13,640
Speaker 5: I I am heartbroken every time I see a someone

1320
00:59:13,720 --> 00:59:17,040
Speaker 5: die by suicide, cause I can remember a time where

1321
00:59:17,040 --> 00:59:20,480
Speaker 5: that could have been me. Yeah, And somebody will say

1322
00:59:20,480 --> 00:59:23,080
Speaker 5: they were so happy, bro, we the best at it,

1323
00:59:23,920 --> 00:59:27,840
Speaker 5: at the best at it, And it's like no, no, no, no,

1324
00:59:28,480 --> 00:59:32,120
Speaker 5: that w that that was me? Yeah, and being honest

1325
00:59:32,160 --> 00:59:35,400
Speaker 5: about that, like no, M. The fact that you think

1326
00:59:35,480 --> 00:59:38,200
Speaker 5: I'm further along with God is because of those moments.

1327
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:41,480
Speaker 5: The reason I'm all in with him is because he

1328
00:59:41,680 --> 00:59:44,400
Speaker 5: was all in with me when I was like, nah, bruh,

1329
00:59:44,440 --> 00:59:50,000
Speaker 5: I can't do this. Mm mm I can't Yeah I nah.

1330
00:59:50,080 --> 00:59:52,800
Speaker 5: And so I think, like I always look at it

1331
00:59:52,840 --> 00:59:57,120
Speaker 5: as stuff like depression or anxiety, those are invitations to

1332
00:59:57,240 --> 00:59:58,560
Speaker 5: invite God in.

1333
00:59:58,280 --> 00:59:59,160
Speaker 2: To those moments.

1334
00:59:59,520 --> 01:00:03,480
Speaker 5: It's like, I, I have reached the end of where I

1335
01:00:03,520 --> 01:00:06,720
Speaker 5: can go right, and where I end is where he begins. M.

1336
01:00:08,600 --> 01:00:11,200
Speaker 2: And you could do it. That time in my life

1337
01:00:11,480 --> 01:00:12,040
Speaker 2: marked me.

1338
01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:17,360
Speaker 5: Cause if she didn't knock on that door, yeah, it

1339
01:00:17,360 --> 01:00:19,439
Speaker 5: it would have been a rep cause I in that

1340
01:00:19,600 --> 01:00:20,920
Speaker 5: moment it.

1341
01:00:20,800 --> 01:00:24,520
Speaker 1: All was Yeah, I was finished, and so you're away

1342
01:00:24,560 --> 01:00:28,000
Speaker 1: from everybody, everybody isolated literally for sure.

1343
01:00:28,120 --> 01:00:31,240
Speaker 5: Yea, and and I I was like I I and

1344
01:00:31,320 --> 01:00:34,240
Speaker 5: that that happened like the beginning of April. And then

1345
01:00:35,120 --> 01:00:37,160
Speaker 5: like within a few weeks my life turned around. I

1346
01:00:37,160 --> 01:00:39,640
Speaker 5: got my first job work at TBN. I was a producer,

1347
01:00:40,160 --> 01:00:42,680
Speaker 5: like I I. Then I did BT that year, like

1348
01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:46,720
Speaker 5: I my life. Literally, it's right when you right there.

1349
01:00:47,360 --> 01:00:49,280
Speaker 5: The enemy's job is to take you out before you

1350
01:00:49,400 --> 01:00:52,600
Speaker 5: reach the point. So the harder it gets, you gotta

1351
01:00:52,640 --> 01:00:55,160
Speaker 5: know you right on the brink of it. He's like

1352
01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:57,880
Speaker 5: r I even today, like not today, but like in

1353
01:00:57,920 --> 01:01:01,280
Speaker 5: this time of my life, I have moments. Three weeks ago,

1354
01:01:02,160 --> 01:01:05,440
Speaker 5: I was like, y'all could have all of this. It

1355
01:01:05,520 --> 01:01:07,919
Speaker 5: is a rap, Like I'm finna go get a job

1356
01:01:08,040 --> 01:01:10,280
Speaker 5: cause I could go get one of those really easy Yeah.

1357
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:12,960
Speaker 5: I'm like, I'm finna go get a job. This whole

1358
01:01:13,040 --> 01:01:17,320
Speaker 5: like all these expectations. Everybody wants you to do what

1359
01:01:17,400 --> 01:01:19,080
Speaker 5: they want you to do. They cool with you walk

1360
01:01:19,080 --> 01:01:20,960
Speaker 5: into a calling, but only if it alignes with how

1361
01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:23,280
Speaker 5: they see it. And I I have reached a place

1362
01:01:23,280 --> 01:01:25,400
Speaker 5: of frustration. I was like, God, I don't wanna I

1363
01:01:25,480 --> 01:01:28,080
Speaker 5: never aks for this ye, because there is a weight

1364
01:01:28,200 --> 01:01:32,000
Speaker 5: and a pressure that comes with people like you being

1365
01:01:32,040 --> 01:01:32,720
Speaker 5: pastor Brenda.

1366
01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:34,640
Speaker 3: It's like sometimes I just I just wanna be brandw

1367
01:01:34,760 --> 01:01:36,400
Speaker 3: yeah right.

1368
01:01:36,280 --> 01:01:38,160
Speaker 2: Like and nobody did know my name. Yeah, you know

1369
01:01:38,200 --> 01:01:38,640
Speaker 2: what I'm saying.

1370
01:01:38,840 --> 01:01:41,560
Speaker 5: Like, and so I think we also think that because

1371
01:01:41,600 --> 01:01:43,200
Speaker 5: we follow God like supposed to be roses. And I

1372
01:01:43,200 --> 01:01:44,920
Speaker 5: don't think that. But sometimes I reach a point where

1373
01:01:44,960 --> 01:01:46,240
Speaker 5: I'm like it's not even worth it.

1374
01:01:46,520 --> 01:01:46,720
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1375
01:01:46,760 --> 01:01:49,600
Speaker 5: And I remember, like being two weeks ago, I was

1376
01:01:49,600 --> 01:01:51,080
Speaker 5: on the phone with my friend and I had just

1377
01:01:51,120 --> 01:01:53,240
Speaker 5: reached a place of frustration and I was like, hey.

1378
01:01:53,200 --> 01:01:56,640
Speaker 2: I gotta call you back. Yeah, and I just cried

1379
01:01:57,240 --> 01:01:59,360
Speaker 2: and I had to take a walk. Yeah, and I'm like,

1380
01:01:59,880 --> 01:02:01,480
Speaker 2: I I don't want to do this anymore.

1381
01:02:01,760 --> 01:02:02,560
Speaker 3: Mm.

1382
01:02:02,600 --> 01:02:04,560
Speaker 5: And I feel like a couple of days after that,

1383
01:02:04,680 --> 01:02:06,120
Speaker 5: I got in the other in the shower, like to

1384
01:02:06,160 --> 01:02:08,920
Speaker 5: talk to the Lord in the shower, and I felt

1385
01:02:08,920 --> 01:02:12,360
Speaker 5: like he was like, don't take it personal, wow, cause

1386
01:02:12,520 --> 01:02:14,920
Speaker 5: cause it's like bruh, one thing come at you like

1387
01:02:14,960 --> 01:02:18,800
Speaker 5: cool bro back to back and then like people that

1388
01:02:19,120 --> 01:02:21,040
Speaker 5: like you care about like it's like I thought you

1389
01:02:21,120 --> 01:02:23,640
Speaker 5: was rock, you not rock, Okay, I thought you was okay,

1390
01:02:23,680 --> 01:02:27,680
Speaker 5: you not alright, it's alright, I got it, Like I'm good.

1391
01:02:27,880 --> 01:02:29,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think I had.

1392
01:02:28,960 --> 01:02:32,040
Speaker 5: Just reached a boiling point and not just just like bruh,

1393
01:02:32,040 --> 01:02:34,400
Speaker 5: I don't I don't want it no more. Yeah, And

1394
01:02:34,440 --> 01:02:35,800
Speaker 5: he was like, don't take it personal.

1395
01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:36,920
Speaker 2: Don't take it personal.

1396
01:02:37,040 --> 01:02:39,400
Speaker 5: And he he's like, it has nothing to do with

1397
01:02:39,480 --> 01:02:42,880
Speaker 5: you and everything to do with what I'm calling you

1398
01:02:42,920 --> 01:02:43,120
Speaker 5: to do.

1399
01:02:43,320 --> 01:02:46,120
Speaker 1: Mm cause it's yeah, it's he puts you on the sient,

1400
01:02:46,200 --> 01:02:46,960
Speaker 1: not them.

1401
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:51,920
Speaker 5: And he's like, and the attacks are not towards Brenda.

1402
01:02:52,720 --> 01:02:54,440
Speaker 5: The attacks are on what Brenda carries.

1403
01:02:54,640 --> 01:02:54,720
Speaker 2: Ye.

1404
01:02:55,400 --> 01:02:57,480
Speaker 5: But if I take Brenda out what Brenda's supposed to

1405
01:02:57,480 --> 01:02:59,360
Speaker 5: carry into the world never makes it y.

1406
01:02:59,640 --> 01:03:03,560
Speaker 2: And so I was like, then, don't take it personal.

1407
01:03:04,720 --> 01:03:12,000
Speaker 2: I was like I love it, and that made it easy.

1408
01:03:12,120 --> 01:03:14,080
Speaker 1: I love when he comes back and answers you like,

1409
01:03:15,880 --> 01:03:17,440
Speaker 1: don't take a person, and it'd be.

1410
01:03:17,400 --> 01:03:18,720
Speaker 3: Like, got it.

1411
01:03:18,760 --> 01:03:22,520
Speaker 5: Okay, that's what for me that it clicks because then

1412
01:03:22,800 --> 01:03:25,400
Speaker 5: he's like, okay, like we think about Jesus right cause,

1413
01:03:25,400 --> 01:03:29,400
Speaker 5: Saydan isn't all knowing, he don't know everything, but the

1414
01:03:29,440 --> 01:03:32,440
Speaker 5: moment Jesus is born, then Herod issues a decree that

1415
01:03:32,440 --> 01:03:34,560
Speaker 5: says take out all the boys.

1416
01:03:34,440 --> 01:03:35,080
Speaker 2: Three and under.

1417
01:03:35,480 --> 01:03:38,040
Speaker 5: He like, I don't know what's coming for me, but

1418
01:03:38,160 --> 01:03:41,120
Speaker 5: I recognize that something's about to attack the Kingdom of darkness.

1419
01:03:41,160 --> 01:03:42,040
Speaker 2: I gotta shut it down.

1420
01:03:42,480 --> 01:03:44,880
Speaker 5: And so when we think about that, we recognize like

1421
01:03:44,960 --> 01:03:47,320
Speaker 5: our lives and what we've been entrusted to Stewart are

1422
01:03:47,360 --> 01:03:48,400
Speaker 5: not about us.

1423
01:03:48,880 --> 01:03:50,160
Speaker 2: It's like God's like, okay, I need.

1424
01:03:50,080 --> 01:03:51,760
Speaker 5: This thing when you put it in crystals, like I

1425
01:03:51,760 --> 01:03:54,040
Speaker 5: need this thing and put it in Brenda's hand. Now,

1426
01:03:54,080 --> 01:03:55,920
Speaker 5: Saytan's job is to ensure that that thing don't become

1427
01:03:55,960 --> 01:03:58,120
Speaker 5: what it's supposed to be. Come So he gonna try everything,

1428
01:03:58,160 --> 01:04:00,000
Speaker 5: and it's usually the people that are closest to you.

1429
01:04:00,120 --> 01:04:05,080
Speaker 1: Mm wow, thank you, thank you for that question, Genora.

1430
01:04:05,160 --> 01:04:07,840
Speaker 3: Thank God for Nick. She was an angel with Memo

1431
01:04:07,880 --> 01:04:08,280
Speaker 3: for sure.

1432
01:04:08,360 --> 01:04:10,280
Speaker 5: And every time I do something like I appreciate the

1433
01:04:10,280 --> 01:04:12,720
Speaker 5: potterself I was and She's like, oh my god, we know.

1434
01:04:12,840 --> 01:04:14,280
Speaker 5: I was like, thank you for knocking on my door

1435
01:04:14,360 --> 01:04:16,320
Speaker 5: here to sure that I live to see this moment.

1436
01:04:16,440 --> 01:04:18,840
Speaker 5: So whenever it's something good happens, like the whole world

1437
01:04:18,920 --> 01:04:22,840
Speaker 5: gonna know, Dick, why about the crack? Not cause cause

1438
01:04:22,880 --> 01:04:28,080
Speaker 5: you understand the way of that like to have Yeah.

1439
01:04:27,840 --> 01:04:34,320
Speaker 1: Bro, alright, So we always close out the show with

1440
01:04:34,360 --> 01:04:37,440
Speaker 1: positive outcomes, and we read one of our open listener

1441
01:04:37,520 --> 01:04:40,920
Speaker 1: letters and then we give 'em advice. So this one says, Hi, Crystal,

1442
01:04:41,040 --> 01:04:43,880
Speaker 1: my name is Asia Kirkland. I am twenty three, and

1443
01:04:43,960 --> 01:04:46,320
Speaker 1: I am starting my f my serious walk of faith.

1444
01:04:46,640 --> 01:04:49,240
Speaker 1: I have built a platform on social media, and I

1445
01:04:49,280 --> 01:04:52,919
Speaker 1: am known for being sexy, or more so, tempting and lustful.

1446
01:04:53,200 --> 01:04:55,840
Speaker 1: I know, in being a Christian you can be harshly

1447
01:04:55,920 --> 01:04:57,960
Speaker 1: judged for it. I want to know if there's a

1448
01:04:57,960 --> 01:05:00,640
Speaker 1: balance of sexy and yet somewhat my to see that

1449
01:05:00,680 --> 01:05:02,800
Speaker 1: you need to uphold or do I need just a

1450
01:05:02,840 --> 01:05:06,160
Speaker 1: fresh start. I have decided that when I get baptized,

1451
01:05:06,200 --> 01:05:08,680
Speaker 1: to stain from sex with my partner until we're married,

1452
01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:11,760
Speaker 1: which will be hard because our relationship started off very

1453
01:05:11,800 --> 01:05:14,920
Speaker 1: sex based and we progress to both of us deciding

1454
01:05:15,040 --> 01:05:18,560
Speaker 1: to walk. To take the walk of faith, I'm afraid

1455
01:05:18,600 --> 01:05:20,760
Speaker 1: I'll fail God and God in the end.

1456
01:05:21,400 --> 01:05:31,800
Speaker 4: How should I go about this? I'm like, well, you

1457
01:05:31,840 --> 01:05:33,040
Speaker 4: know what, Okay, So.

1458
01:05:36,760 --> 01:05:38,800
Speaker 1: This is a good question because I've noticed a lot

1459
01:05:38,840 --> 01:05:43,000
Speaker 1: of women lately, a lot of people like that God

1460
01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:45,800
Speaker 1: has put in position that has like all these followers

1461
01:05:45,840 --> 01:05:47,760
Speaker 1: have turned their life over to Christ, and some of

1462
01:05:47,800 --> 01:05:50,520
Speaker 1: them have been, like she described, very sexy and lustful.

1463
01:05:50,920 --> 01:05:53,919
Speaker 1: And they are taking on this new walk with God

1464
01:05:53,960 --> 01:05:56,080
Speaker 1: and being very vocal about it. But it's a lot

1465
01:05:56,120 --> 01:05:58,160
Speaker 1: of judgment, like she said, that comes along with it.

1466
01:06:00,080 --> 01:06:01,600
Speaker 3: What would you tell her? Cause for me, I know,

1467
01:06:01,720 --> 01:06:03,080
Speaker 3: like I had to.

1468
01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:05,880
Speaker 1: Be mindful of like the young women that follow me

1469
01:06:06,080 --> 01:06:08,200
Speaker 1: and the image that I want to portray for them

1470
01:06:08,240 --> 01:06:10,440
Speaker 1: and to show them it's okay to love yourself, but

1471
01:06:10,480 --> 01:06:11,600
Speaker 1: you don't have to show everything.

1472
01:06:11,800 --> 01:06:14,200
Speaker 3: Sure you know what I'm saying. What would you tell her?

1473
01:06:14,640 --> 01:06:18,640
Speaker 3: In that?

1474
01:06:18,720 --> 01:06:32,480
Speaker 5: I said, Oh, I I think that. So here's here's

1475
01:06:32,520 --> 01:06:35,640
Speaker 5: the first thing, Right, I think that relationship with Jesus

1476
01:06:36,040 --> 01:06:38,440
Speaker 5: is progression, not perfection.

1477
01:06:38,880 --> 01:06:40,600
Speaker 2: Right. And so I think that.

1478
01:06:41,960 --> 01:06:44,320
Speaker 5: I used to always say, like, convictions come according to

1479
01:06:44,400 --> 01:06:46,840
Speaker 5: your callings. Right, So some stuff you could do I

1480
01:06:46,880 --> 01:06:48,360
Speaker 5: can't do because of what I'm called to do.

1481
01:06:48,560 --> 01:06:49,680
Speaker 2: Right. I think that.

1482
01:06:49,520 --> 01:06:53,440
Speaker 5: Convictions come when you mature spiritually, right, I think.

1483
01:06:53,320 --> 01:06:56,440
Speaker 2: When you.

1484
01:06:55,160 --> 01:06:57,160
Speaker 5: Have to pay attention to why you ask the things

1485
01:06:57,200 --> 01:06:59,520
Speaker 5: you ask? Right, So, why are you now all of

1486
01:06:59,560 --> 01:07:02,720
Speaker 5: a sudden concerned because something in you is saying maybe

1487
01:07:02,720 --> 01:07:05,600
Speaker 5: I shouldn't do this, Maybe I shouldn't Yeah, And I

1488
01:07:05,640 --> 01:07:07,919
Speaker 5: think what we miss is that when when that when

1489
01:07:07,920 --> 01:07:10,280
Speaker 5: a conviction comes, it's not God.

1490
01:07:10,160 --> 01:07:11,880
Speaker 2: Saying, oh, why are you doing that?

1491
01:07:12,440 --> 01:07:15,120
Speaker 5: He's saying, I have so much more for you, and

1492
01:07:15,160 --> 01:07:18,200
Speaker 5: you're now living beneath where I'm calling you. And so

1493
01:07:18,240 --> 01:07:20,400
Speaker 5: I think if we view it that way, we'll lose

1494
01:07:20,440 --> 01:07:23,400
Speaker 5: this whole. Like religion is so based on rules, it's like, no,

1495
01:07:23,760 --> 01:07:27,600
Speaker 5: it's God saying, baby girl, I see you so much

1496
01:07:27,680 --> 01:07:30,160
Speaker 5: better than that, and let me show you what life

1497
01:07:30,200 --> 01:07:31,960
Speaker 5: like that looks like, and let me show you that

1498
01:07:32,000 --> 01:07:33,640
Speaker 5: if you do it my way, it would be way

1499
01:07:33,640 --> 01:07:34,120
Speaker 5: better than.

1500
01:07:34,040 --> 01:07:35,360
Speaker 2: What you could have done in your own strength. I

1501
01:07:35,360 --> 01:07:35,760
Speaker 2: think it's that.

1502
01:07:36,480 --> 01:07:39,480
Speaker 5: I think the other part is you already have a

1503
01:07:39,840 --> 01:07:42,520
Speaker 5: social media following and it's growing because of these things.

1504
01:07:42,840 --> 01:07:45,000
Speaker 5: But now you've had a life change, so now you

1505
01:07:45,040 --> 01:07:46,760
Speaker 5: have to go, Okay, am I gonna trust God? Or

1506
01:07:46,800 --> 01:07:48,000
Speaker 5: am I gonna trust what I could do in my

1507
01:07:48,040 --> 01:07:52,040
Speaker 5: own strength? And there's a process. I too have that

1508
01:07:52,160 --> 01:07:54,720
Speaker 5: same process. I'm like, I should have posted this, I

1509
01:07:55,120 --> 01:07:57,000
Speaker 5: should I not? Sometimes I post up that I'm like,

1510
01:07:57,080 --> 01:08:03,360
Speaker 5: let me take that right, and something like my rubric

1511
01:08:03,600 --> 01:08:05,040
Speaker 5: is this, It's very simple.

1512
01:08:05,880 --> 01:08:08,000
Speaker 2: Is this leading them towards Jesus.

1513
01:08:07,760 --> 01:08:09,320
Speaker 3: Or away from him?

1514
01:08:09,360 --> 01:08:12,120
Speaker 5: And that's you just that is what it is because

1515
01:08:12,160 --> 01:08:15,280
Speaker 5: the moment you get loud about being a believer, you

1516
01:08:15,320 --> 01:08:17,280
Speaker 5: set the standard for how people respond to what you

1517
01:08:17,360 --> 01:08:19,439
Speaker 5: post because there could he could be calling you to

1518
01:08:19,439 --> 01:08:22,360
Speaker 5: switch it, and you also to your point, you are

1519
01:08:22,439 --> 01:08:24,160
Speaker 5: responsible for where you lead people.

1520
01:08:24,240 --> 01:08:27,479
Speaker 2: Yes, And that's the way, like we hold in our hands.

1521
01:08:27,520 --> 01:08:30,240
Speaker 3: It is because people look at what we're doing and they're.

1522
01:08:30,040 --> 01:08:32,479
Speaker 2: Like, the first thing they're gonna say, it is awesome.

1523
01:08:35,080 --> 01:08:37,479
Speaker 2: Know you did that. It was not me.

1524
01:08:40,360 --> 01:08:48,960
Speaker 1: That's yeah, that's good, thank you. Another thing we do

1525
01:08:49,080 --> 01:08:51,320
Speaker 1: before we close is what I'm going through and what

1526
01:08:51,360 --> 01:08:54,960
Speaker 1: I'm growing through. And I'll start off by saying, I

1527
01:08:55,000 --> 01:09:00,439
Speaker 1: am I'm going through a phase where I'm trying to

1528
01:09:00,520 --> 01:09:05,120
Speaker 1: find the balance of resting and pushing myself because I

1529
01:09:05,160 --> 01:09:07,160
Speaker 1: feel like you know that we always say God never

1530
01:09:07,160 --> 01:09:09,679
Speaker 1: put more on than we can bear, But there's sometimes

1531
01:09:09,800 --> 01:09:12,040
Speaker 1: I'm like somebody has made a comment one day and

1532
01:09:12,080 --> 01:09:15,479
Speaker 1: said that if it's if it's, if God means me

1533
01:09:15,520 --> 01:09:18,599
Speaker 1: to do this, it won't exhaust you. But you may

1534
01:09:18,640 --> 01:09:21,160
Speaker 1: be tired, but you won't be just completely exhausted. And

1535
01:09:21,200 --> 01:09:23,320
Speaker 1: there's a moments where I'm like, I'm on the brink, Lord, like,

1536
01:09:23,439 --> 01:09:26,479
Speaker 1: is this your thing? I'm not, I'll be tired. So

1537
01:09:26,640 --> 01:09:28,680
Speaker 1: just trying to balance making sure that I'm taking care

1538
01:09:28,720 --> 01:09:31,639
Speaker 1: of myself along with everything that's coming my way.

1539
01:09:32,439 --> 01:09:34,400
Speaker 3: I feel like this lad, this whole year has.

1540
01:09:34,280 --> 01:09:37,759
Speaker 1: Just been like one thing after another and it's been amazing,

1541
01:09:38,439 --> 01:09:41,240
Speaker 1: but also just finding that balance of saying, Okay, now

1542
01:09:41,280 --> 01:09:45,040
Speaker 1: you need to let down. Like yesterday I slept for hours.

1543
01:09:45,120 --> 01:09:47,040
Speaker 1: It's the mostly I gotten probably in months.

1544
01:09:47,479 --> 01:09:49,000
Speaker 2: It was so good. You need a good nap.

1545
01:09:49,360 --> 01:09:52,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, good nap. So that's what I'm balancing right now,

1546
01:09:52,000 --> 01:09:53,479
Speaker 3: what I'm going through and growing through.

1547
01:09:57,600 --> 01:09:58,200
Speaker 2: I think.

1548
01:09:59,560 --> 01:10:04,519
Speaker 5: Going and growing through what it means to be set apart.

1549
01:10:05,760 --> 01:10:07,479
Speaker 5: Like it's been really hard for me.

1550
01:10:08,920 --> 01:10:09,800
Speaker 3: It's an adjustment.

1551
01:10:10,080 --> 01:10:13,080
Speaker 5: It's like a or I thought I could, I can't

1552
01:10:13,960 --> 01:10:18,080
Speaker 5: or I can't. Ah, it's so yeah, and and like

1553
01:10:18,160 --> 01:10:22,040
Speaker 5: on some very like simple stuff, it's been really hard

1554
01:10:22,439 --> 01:10:27,880
Speaker 5: and it kind of goes to this idea that like

1555
01:10:28,200 --> 01:10:30,200
Speaker 5: it will be worth it on the other side, but

1556
01:10:30,240 --> 01:10:34,439
Speaker 5: in the moment you'd be like dang bro like and

1557
01:10:34,439 --> 01:10:36,880
Speaker 5: then I'm always like, I don't even ask for this.

1558
01:10:38,520 --> 01:10:39,720
Speaker 2: I like, I haven't asked for this.

1559
01:10:40,160 --> 01:10:44,160
Speaker 5: And so man, I'm I'm going through that and growing

1560
01:10:44,200 --> 01:10:48,439
Speaker 5: through it because it's stretching me. But it's even recently

1561
01:10:48,479 --> 01:10:49,400
Speaker 5: I thought I was gonna.

1562
01:10:49,200 --> 01:10:54,320
Speaker 3: Start Patreon, and the Lord to me, no, what do

1563
01:10:54,360 --> 01:10:54,960
Speaker 3: you Why do you think?

1564
01:10:55,000 --> 01:10:55,160
Speaker 1: Well?

1565
01:10:55,240 --> 01:10:55,479
Speaker 3: I mean.

1566
01:10:59,640 --> 01:11:03,240
Speaker 5: Because he told me I was a minister first, and

1567
01:11:04,160 --> 01:11:09,000
Speaker 5: I can't.

1568
01:11:11,800 --> 01:11:13,360
Speaker 2: I was like, I got myself in trouble.

1569
01:11:14,640 --> 01:11:17,519
Speaker 5: No, bro, Like just like three days ago, he said,

1570
01:11:17,600 --> 01:11:19,200
Speaker 5: what are you talking about?

1571
01:11:19,320 --> 01:11:22,519
Speaker 2: Yeah, like I was ready. Oh, I mean it's it's

1572
01:11:22,560 --> 01:11:23,960
Speaker 2: it's ready, it's loaded.

1573
01:11:24,600 --> 01:11:26,960
Speaker 5: And it gets to the point where it's like I

1574
01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:30,760
Speaker 5: can I can't do what everybody else can do. And

1575
01:11:30,760 --> 01:11:34,240
Speaker 5: and it was less about like the thing. It's not

1576
01:11:34,400 --> 01:11:40,360
Speaker 5: that's not bad, but I I can lose the minister in.

1577
01:11:40,240 --> 01:11:42,120
Speaker 1: The thing, and sometimes you can.

1578
01:11:43,520 --> 01:11:45,280
Speaker 2: And it was and it was like God gave me

1579
01:11:45,280 --> 01:11:49,040
Speaker 2: a choice. He led me to a scripture he always.

1580
01:11:48,920 --> 01:11:55,919
Speaker 5: He's said, it's Hebrews eleven. It talks about a remnant,

1581
01:11:56,720 --> 01:11:59,960
Speaker 5: which is like a group of people that are set apart,

1582
01:12:00,880 --> 01:12:04,400
Speaker 5: and he said he talks about their table of wealth

1583
01:12:04,560 --> 01:12:08,240
Speaker 5: being their trapping, their snare so they're successful say, they

1584
01:12:08,280 --> 01:12:11,120
Speaker 5: don't even recognize that God isn't with them.

1585
01:12:11,520 --> 01:12:14,040
Speaker 2: Wow, and you just said he said you could do it.

1586
01:12:14,280 --> 01:12:15,240
Speaker 2: It's gonna be great.

1587
01:12:16,120 --> 01:12:18,960
Speaker 5: He was like, but your success won't allow you to

1588
01:12:19,000 --> 01:12:20,200
Speaker 5: recognize when I'm not there.

1589
01:12:20,520 --> 01:12:26,080
Speaker 2: Oh wow, I said, dang, you didn't wanna tell me before.

1590
01:12:26,080 --> 01:12:28,080
Speaker 2: I have spent some money, That's what I'm saying. I

1591
01:12:28,120 --> 01:12:29,320
Speaker 2: have been working really hard.

1592
01:12:29,400 --> 01:12:31,519
Speaker 1: He bid everything else to get ready for it, and

1593
01:12:31,560 --> 01:12:34,479
Speaker 1: he said, trust me, I guess you.

1594
01:12:34,640 --> 01:12:37,720
Speaker 5: It's exactly what he said, actually, And I was like, alright, rather,

1595
01:12:37,800 --> 01:12:39,240
Speaker 5: but yeah.

1596
01:12:39,560 --> 01:12:40,800
Speaker 2: So over here.

1597
01:12:41,080 --> 01:12:43,120
Speaker 5: But when you start talking about like a series of yes,

1598
01:12:43,160 --> 01:12:45,600
Speaker 5: it's it's like, I'm gonna be able to market this.

1599
01:12:45,920 --> 01:12:50,719
Speaker 1: Dude, Yeah you know, yeah, I see New York Times

1600
01:12:50,720 --> 01:12:51,120
Speaker 1: best seller.

1601
01:12:51,479 --> 01:12:55,360
Speaker 2: Come on, he gonna for sure, you know.

1602
01:12:55,479 --> 01:12:57,880
Speaker 5: But that's what I'm growing through, Like be what it

1603
01:12:57,960 --> 01:13:00,479
Speaker 5: means when we set apart, Cause I thought, you know,

1604
01:13:00,840 --> 01:13:02,759
Speaker 5: it was enough to say yes to become a preacher

1605
01:13:02,760 --> 01:13:05,760
Speaker 5: because nobody has to do that, right, And he's like, girl,

1606
01:13:05,840 --> 01:13:11,559
Speaker 5: this is that slight word in comparison. So yeah, I'm

1607
01:13:11,640 --> 01:13:16,559
Speaker 5: just you know, I I would prefer to be able

1608
01:13:17,200 --> 01:13:20,120
Speaker 5: to preach to a room and they be set free.

1609
01:13:21,200 --> 01:13:22,960
Speaker 5: Then preach to a room and they be like that

1610
01:13:23,080 --> 01:13:23,719
Speaker 5: was a good word.

1611
01:13:25,479 --> 01:13:29,479
Speaker 2: That's the difference difference. And so yeah, I wanna be

1612
01:13:29,560 --> 01:13:31,320
Speaker 2: trusted to carry the oil.

1613
01:13:33,200 --> 01:13:39,760
Speaker 3: Oil. I love that. So last thing we do is

1614
01:13:39,920 --> 01:13:43,040
Speaker 3: keep it blank sweet teeth. Okay, and we're gonna fill

1615
01:13:43,040 --> 01:13:46,760
Speaker 3: in the blank. And for this episode, Oh there's so

1616
01:13:46,880 --> 01:13:54,920
Speaker 3: so many things. Mm.

1617
01:13:55,320 --> 01:13:55,960
Speaker 2: Keep it.

1618
01:13:58,560 --> 01:14:00,720
Speaker 3: T makes it sometimes hard to feel it because you

1619
01:14:00,760 --> 01:14:03,360
Speaker 3: want to say something else. Keep it spirit.

1620
01:14:03,120 --> 01:14:03,799
Speaker 2: Led, sweetie.

1621
01:14:03,880 --> 01:14:04,840
Speaker 3: Let the spirit guide you.

1622
01:14:05,200 --> 01:14:05,400
Speaker 2: Dang.

1623
01:14:05,520 --> 01:14:12,560
Speaker 3: I was like, good, just Brenda, just Brenda is crazy.

1624
01:14:16,800 --> 01:14:24,360
Speaker 5: Keep it honest, Sweetie. Honestly we ourselves but we got

1625
01:14:24,400 --> 01:14:26,840
Speaker 5: to Yes, that's good.

1626
01:14:27,160 --> 01:14:35,679
Speaker 3: That's good. Thank you so much. Appreciation you for your time.

1627
01:14:36,120 --> 01:14:37,720
Speaker 1: Guys, thank you so much for tuning in to this

1628
01:14:37,760 --> 01:14:38,920
Speaker 1: episode of Keep It Positive.

1629
01:14:38,960 --> 01:14:39,480
Speaker 2: Sweetie.

1630
01:14:39,600 --> 01:14:41,920
Speaker 1: If you want to write into our positive outcomes listening

1631
01:14:41,920 --> 01:14:43,679
Speaker 1: to letter, you can write in to Keep It Positive

1632
01:14:43,680 --> 01:14:46,639
Speaker 1: sweety at gmail dot com and that's Sweetie with an Ie.

1633
01:14:47,120 --> 01:14:49,240
Speaker 1: You can follow me on all platforms at love Chris

1634
01:14:49,400 --> 01:14:50,840
Speaker 1: orinee and that's l u V.

1635
01:14:51,320 --> 01:14:51,679
Speaker 3: Brenda.

1636
01:14:51,720 --> 01:14:54,480
Speaker 1: Tell the people that can find you all the platforms

1637
01:14:54,680 --> 01:14:55,200
Speaker 1: all right.

1638
01:14:55,080 --> 01:14:57,440
Speaker 2: So you can find me on all social media platforms.

1639
01:14:57,520 --> 01:15:01,240
Speaker 5: And I am Brenda Palmer on TikTok and sta and YouTube.

1640
01:15:01,520 --> 01:15:05,040
Speaker 5: I have a podcast called Life in Perspective with Brenda Palmer.

1641
01:15:05,080 --> 01:15:09,280
Speaker 2: It's literally available everywhere. And more importantly, we.

1642
01:15:09,240 --> 01:15:12,439
Speaker 5: Are doing a pop up tour in counter nights. We're

1643
01:15:12,479 --> 01:15:14,760
Speaker 5: going to six cities and I want to see you there,

1644
01:15:15,040 --> 01:15:17,679
Speaker 5: so just visit us at come Alive Collective dot com

1645
01:15:17,680 --> 01:15:19,760
Speaker 5: to get your tickets and be in the bild it

1646
01:15:19,880 --> 01:15:22,280
Speaker 5: because Jesus is gonna be there so when you want

1647
01:15:22,280 --> 01:15:23,479
Speaker 5: to be where Jesus is due.

1648
01:15:26,400 --> 01:15:27,400
Speaker 2: Thank you for having us.

1649
01:15:27,760 --> 01:15:30,040
Speaker 1: It makes sure you, guys tap into everything that Brenda

1650
01:15:30,040 --> 01:15:31,559
Speaker 1: has going on. We want to make sure we support

1651
01:15:31,560 --> 01:15:35,600
Speaker 1: this amazing sister. I'm appreciat of your time and we

1652
01:15:35,680 --> 01:15:36,599
Speaker 1: got you on the sofa.

1653
01:15:36,720 --> 01:15:38,200
Speaker 2: We did it, man, we did it.

1654
01:15:39,120 --> 01:15:40,840
Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much for tuning in to this

1655
01:15:40,920 --> 01:15:42,559
Speaker 1: episode of Keep it Positive, Sweetie.

1656
01:15:42,560 --> 01:15:44,720
Speaker 3: In the meantime in between time, you know what to do.

1657
01:15:44,960 --> 01:15:47,320
Speaker 3: Keep it positive, Sweetie, See you guys later.

1658
01:16:01,200 --> 01:16:01,439
Speaker 1: Four