1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:13,320 Speaker 1: M h. Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, 2 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:18,720 Speaker 1: a weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all 3 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:21,400 Speaker 1: the small decisions we can make to become the best 4 00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:25,760 Speaker 1: possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy hard 5 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 1: and Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more 6 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:34,640 Speaker 1: information or to find a therapist in your area, visit 7 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 1: our website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. While 8 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:42,479 Speaker 1: I hope you love listening to and learning from the podcast, 9 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:46,080 Speaker 1: it is not meant to be a substitute for relationship 10 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:57,040 Speaker 1: with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so 11 00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:59,480 Speaker 1: much for joining me for session two oh five of 12 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,480 Speaker 1: the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast. We'll jump into the 13 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:15,800 Speaker 1: episode right after a word from our sponsors. Before we 14 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:18,040 Speaker 1: get into the episode, I want to share a very 15 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:21,759 Speaker 1: exciting announcement with y'all. The Therapy for Black Girls podcast 16 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:25,000 Speaker 1: has been nominated for a Webby Award for Best Health 17 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:28,720 Speaker 1: and Wellness Podcast. We're thrilled to be recognized for such 18 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:31,640 Speaker 1: a cool award, and we need your help right now. 19 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:33,800 Speaker 1: We're in second place, so I would love for you 20 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:36,360 Speaker 1: to help us move up in the rankings by going 21 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,560 Speaker 1: to Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash webby and 22 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:43,080 Speaker 1: casting your vote for us again that website is Therapy 23 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:46,039 Speaker 1: for Black Girls dot com slash Webby. Thank you in 24 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 1: advance for your support. Do you remember the conversations you 25 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:53,520 Speaker 1: had with your parents on tees, grandma or friends when 26 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:57,080 Speaker 1: you started your mistrel cycle? Whether you've realized it or not, 27 00:01:57,520 --> 00:02:00,880 Speaker 1: the tone of that conversation has likely shaped relationship to 28 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:04,720 Speaker 1: your cycle all these years later. To help us dig 29 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:08,720 Speaker 1: into how our minstrual cycles may impact our mental health today, 30 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:12,320 Speaker 1: I'm joined by Dr Sarah Flowers. Doctor Flowers is the 31 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 1: vice President of Education at Planned Parenthood Federation of America. 32 00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:21,800 Speaker 1: Her research focuses on fidelity and adaptation of sex education curricula, 33 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:27,279 Speaker 1: dismantling sexual and reproductive health disparities, serving youth of color, 34 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:32,200 Speaker 1: and strengthening abortion access. Doctor Flowers holds a Doctor and 35 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:36,360 Speaker 1: in Public Health from the Graduate School and University Center QUNI, 36 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,320 Speaker 1: as well as a be A in Psychology and a 37 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:43,839 Speaker 1: Master of Public Health degree, both from the George Washington University. 38 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:47,120 Speaker 1: Dr Flowers and I chatted about how our cycle changes 39 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:51,000 Speaker 1: throughout our lives, the ways that shame often shows up 40 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:54,920 Speaker 1: related to our cycles, the importance of having conversations with 41 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:58,840 Speaker 1: one another about how our bodies changed throughout life, and 42 00:02:58,919 --> 00:03:01,240 Speaker 1: she shared some great to suggestions for how we can 43 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:04,320 Speaker 1: talk to the younger people in our lives differently about 44 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:07,440 Speaker 1: their cycles. If there's something that resonates with you while 45 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:11,240 Speaker 1: enjoying our conversation, please share with us on social media 46 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:18,720 Speaker 1: using the hashtag tv G in session. Here's our conversation. Well, 47 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:21,320 Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining us today, Dr Flowers. 48 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:23,400 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for having me. I'm so strilled 49 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:26,239 Speaker 1: to be a part of this conversation. Yes, I'm very 50 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:29,280 Speaker 1: happy to have you here to talk all about mistrul 51 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:31,760 Speaker 1: health and how that impacts our mental health. And I 52 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:34,560 Speaker 1: think that this is a conversation that is often kind 53 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:36,960 Speaker 1: of overlooked as I'm sure you are aware in a 54 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,080 Speaker 1: lot of your work, and so can you really just 55 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:42,320 Speaker 1: talk with us about like the life cycle of our 56 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 1: minstrel cycles. When you were forming your question, I immediately 57 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:49,400 Speaker 1: in my brain went to the way that people with 58 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:53,840 Speaker 1: ovaries actually have all the eggs from the moment they're born. 59 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:58,320 Speaker 1: Essentially means that like I was in my mother's, who 60 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,960 Speaker 1: was in my grandmother's, who was in my great grandmother's, 61 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,680 Speaker 1: Like we're all connected, right, there's like a power there 62 00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:07,840 Speaker 1: in your history and your ancestry. And I know we're 63 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:09,880 Speaker 1: talking about menstrual health, but like when you think about 64 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:14,080 Speaker 1: the connection between these systems and thinking about young people 65 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:18,159 Speaker 1: learning about their bodies changing, learning puberty, learning about the 66 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:21,080 Speaker 1: cycle and how it works, what it means for your 67 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:29,360 Speaker 1: potential for becoming pregnant, saying pregnant, parenthood, menopause, harrymenopause, all 68 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:32,799 Speaker 1: of these stages, just feels like there's so much to unpack. 69 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:35,560 Speaker 1: And then also like a really basic thing is like 70 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:39,960 Speaker 1: thinking about the way the uterine lining sheds every twenty 71 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,320 Speaker 1: eight days, which on some level is very clear and 72 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:45,960 Speaker 1: concise and on some level almost oversimplifies this really complex 73 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:49,600 Speaker 1: experience that people with uterus as have. So I feel 74 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:51,680 Speaker 1: like there's a lot to talk about, and I don't 75 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:54,560 Speaker 1: want to go too far in any one direction. Well, 76 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:56,839 Speaker 1: I think to bring up a really good point around 77 00:04:57,480 --> 00:04:59,960 Speaker 1: context for you know, being in our mothers and our 78 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,400 Speaker 1: grandmothers and all of those things, because I think when 79 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:06,960 Speaker 1: you think about how those conversations happen around what's happening 80 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 1: with our bodies, it is very much connected to how 81 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:12,440 Speaker 1: that conversation has been hit maybe with our mothers and 82 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:16,200 Speaker 1: our grandmother's that really resonates with me absolutely, and we 83 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:18,960 Speaker 1: could all tell stories about what we learned. I mean, 84 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:22,760 Speaker 1: I remember my mother talking to me about what to 85 00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:26,880 Speaker 1: expect about a period and really thinking about, like, how 86 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:29,640 Speaker 1: do you really explain to a kid blood is going 87 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:31,400 Speaker 1: to come out of your vagina and that's a totally 88 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:33,479 Speaker 1: normal thing that's going to happen to you. Like, that's 89 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:38,040 Speaker 1: kind of a wild concept for kids to wrap their 90 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:41,200 Speaker 1: brain around. I'm forty two, I have an eight year 91 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:44,360 Speaker 1: old child, so I'm in like a lot of parenting circles, 92 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:48,200 Speaker 1: and I hear friends talk about some people when they're parenting, 93 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:50,640 Speaker 1: they don't get a lot of privacy in the bathroom anymore, 94 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:56,080 Speaker 1: And so like, what are the opportunities to normalize menstruation 95 00:05:56,440 --> 00:06:01,520 Speaker 1: and the ways that we normalize bathing and other self care, 96 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:05,440 Speaker 1: daily self care and hygienic acts. Right, So, I've heard 97 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:09,760 Speaker 1: mothers talk about needing to change their pads or their 98 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:12,120 Speaker 1: tampons in front of their young child because the young 99 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:15,240 Speaker 1: child would not give them a moment of privacy. But 100 00:06:15,279 --> 00:06:18,280 Speaker 1: there's almost this opportunity to normalize this is a function 101 00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:21,719 Speaker 1: of our lives right with all children. If that's what 102 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:25,520 Speaker 1: your family's boundaries, you were, don't formid that there's something 103 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:28,800 Speaker 1: to explore there, And I think loss of the conversations. 104 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:31,560 Speaker 1: As a career sex educator, I've heard a lot of stories. 105 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:36,560 Speaker 1: I've heard people celebrate periods as this gateway to adulthood. 106 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:39,640 Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm dating myself, but I remember 107 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:43,000 Speaker 1: I grew up in the eighties and nineties and when 108 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:50,080 Speaker 1: Rudy got her period? Remember that? Yeah, so I remember that. 109 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:54,279 Speaker 1: But there's other stories that have happened in pop culture, 110 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:58,760 Speaker 1: and how we frame it can shape our sense of 111 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,640 Speaker 1: nor most see, I got my period pretty young and 112 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:06,000 Speaker 1: didn't tell my friends. Two years later, my friends were 113 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,680 Speaker 1: talking about that in their period. One friend turned to 114 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:10,800 Speaker 1: me and said, what about you, Sarah, And I said, oh, 115 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:13,440 Speaker 1: I got my period in fourth grade And they were 116 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:15,880 Speaker 1: like what, And you didn't tell us? But like, no 117 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:19,200 Speaker 1: one was talking about it in fourth grade. I was horrified. Yeah, 118 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:22,240 Speaker 1: as a kid, horrified maybe isn't the right word, but 119 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:25,880 Speaker 1: it wasn't a conversation you were excited to have. Absolutely 120 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:29,119 Speaker 1: not in a sidebar, doctor joy as my mother finds 121 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:32,240 Speaker 1: its hilarious that this is my career choice because at 122 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:36,480 Speaker 1: the time I was not talking about these things. Absolutely. Yeah, 123 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:38,640 Speaker 1: But you know, you bring up a really interesting point 124 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:41,520 Speaker 1: because I'm trying to remember, like what conversation I had 125 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,600 Speaker 1: with my mom around my cycle. I feel like I 126 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:45,760 Speaker 1: remember it's starting. I don't remember. I feel like I 127 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:48,120 Speaker 1: was maybe swill over thirteen, and I feel like there 128 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:51,000 Speaker 1: was maybe a book she gave me in a conversation 129 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:53,320 Speaker 1: about like, you know, like how to use I was 130 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:55,160 Speaker 1: saying it's hary napkin and those kinds of things. But 131 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:58,440 Speaker 1: there definitely wasn't this like period party and like make 132 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:00,120 Speaker 1: a big deal of it, and you know, like it 133 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:03,000 Speaker 1: wasn't this ceremonial thing. And I think seeing it on 134 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:06,040 Speaker 1: the Cosby Show was my first time ever seeing a 135 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:08,720 Speaker 1: different context for how to have a different kind of 136 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:12,640 Speaker 1: conversation around starting your cycle. Right. No, it's absolutely right, 137 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:16,160 Speaker 1: And the context is what shapes this experience for us. 138 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:18,760 Speaker 1: I don't know about you, but I didn't have older siblings. 139 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 1: Neither did I. People where I see they had older siblings, 140 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 1: they had seen it before. It wasn't brand new. I 141 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:28,360 Speaker 1: was the elder child and I had a younger brother. 142 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:31,000 Speaker 1: I'm a very straight shooter. And I'm not trying to 143 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:35,800 Speaker 1: speak ill of my father, but when you are young 144 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:39,800 Speaker 1: and get your period the way that we're trained every days, 145 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:43,600 Speaker 1: that's not the way adolescent your body is figuring it out. 146 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:46,080 Speaker 1: It's like a car sputtering to life. Right, So it 147 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:48,679 Speaker 1: may be that you get your period and then you 148 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:51,360 Speaker 1: don't get it for a long time. It's not twenty 149 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:53,959 Speaker 1: eight days in the beginning. And maybe you're a person 150 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,400 Speaker 1: who doesn't ever have a regular period. But I remember 151 00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:00,280 Speaker 1: as a kid, maybe I was in early in your 152 00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:04,560 Speaker 1: high and or late elementary school, and I had gotten 153 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:07,840 Speaker 1: my period. My dad was the only person home, and 154 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,679 Speaker 1: I called for him through the bathroom door because there 155 00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 1: were no pads in the bathroom. Then we could ask 156 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,000 Speaker 1: parssuls why there were no pads in the bathroom, but 157 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:17,240 Speaker 1: we'll unpack that later. There were no pads in the bathroom, 158 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,000 Speaker 1: and my dad fussed, and he was frustrated that I 159 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:22,080 Speaker 1: was asking him to go to the store. And I 160 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:26,440 Speaker 1: remember his voice saying, don't y'all know when this is happening? Right, 161 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:30,319 Speaker 1: and me feeling like was I supposed to have known? 162 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,360 Speaker 1: Is there some guide books that I didn't get right? 163 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,520 Speaker 1: Like I remember sitting in the bathroom waiting for him 164 00:09:35,559 --> 00:09:38,560 Speaker 1: to come back from the store and feeling confused, and 165 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:42,640 Speaker 1: really like, how do we normalize bodies do what bodies do? 166 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:45,280 Speaker 1: And how do we set folks up for success? So, like, 167 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:49,080 Speaker 1: how do we help young folks today know what the 168 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:51,880 Speaker 1: tools are as you talked about, know how to use 169 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:56,480 Speaker 1: the pads or the tampons, or the cup or wearable, 170 00:09:56,679 --> 00:10:00,680 Speaker 1: the free flow underwear, knowing that's available to them, and 171 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:04,520 Speaker 1: knowing when this happens. Wherever you are, you have these 172 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,880 Speaker 1: tools that you're just you're not left out there or 173 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:10,439 Speaker 1: knowing who you could go to. Like I remember junior 174 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:14,200 Speaker 1: high going to the nurse like they had these awful paths, 175 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:17,240 Speaker 1: they were super thick. You didn't want to do that 176 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:19,679 Speaker 1: and die, and yet you were sort of stuck if 177 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,880 Speaker 1: you ran out of something, and you eventually got to a 178 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:24,440 Speaker 1: a place where asking a friend with embarrassing it became normal. 179 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:27,200 Speaker 1: I I remember walking to the bathroom with a pampon 180 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:29,000 Speaker 1: in my sleeve because we didn't want the boys to 181 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:34,520 Speaker 1: see what who was that? So, you know, I think 182 00:10:34,559 --> 00:10:36,680 Speaker 1: that that night the flowers, I think that this is 183 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:39,640 Speaker 1: a really interesting thing to maybe explore to like and 184 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:41,760 Speaker 1: I'm guessing that a lot of it does come from 185 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:44,160 Speaker 1: like the messages that we got around our cycles from 186 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,560 Speaker 1: the adults in our lives. But what was the need 187 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:49,160 Speaker 1: to like hide it and pretend as if we didn't 188 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,559 Speaker 1: have like a tampon or a napkin in our hands 189 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:54,199 Speaker 1: as opposed to this is a very natural thing and 190 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:57,079 Speaker 1: has some of that changed, like from our experiences as 191 00:10:57,120 --> 00:11:00,480 Speaker 1: young people to young people's experiences now, want to say, 192 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:04,520 Speaker 1: I hope so. So for example, our experiences when I 193 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:07,640 Speaker 1: think back to the education that I received, it was 194 00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:14,440 Speaker 1: definitely they made gendered based decisions. And for what we 195 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:19,280 Speaker 1: know in sex education is actually inclusive education and benefits everyone. 196 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:24,120 Speaker 1: So we want everyone to learn about how bodies change, 197 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:29,120 Speaker 1: all bodies. It's really valuable to understand that people with 198 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:32,680 Speaker 1: uterus as have periods. This is a normal thing, and 199 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:36,720 Speaker 1: they affect different people differently. There is much more inclusive 200 00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:41,880 Speaker 1: conversation around bodies and bodies changing today in the fields, 201 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:44,600 Speaker 1: and the field continues to evolve, and so I'm hoping 202 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:47,240 Speaker 1: that we continue to see more inclusivity. But I think 203 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:51,280 Speaker 1: two folks who are having these conversations at home to 204 00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:54,000 Speaker 1: people who are parenting or other caring adults. I think 205 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:57,360 Speaker 1: there's a real value to thinking about how we want 206 00:11:57,440 --> 00:12:00,439 Speaker 1: to in our own modeling and conversations with young people 207 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:06,280 Speaker 1: model the normalizing of bodily functions to normalizing of periods 208 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:10,560 Speaker 1: and normalizing of corrections also in puberty. That these are 209 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:13,599 Speaker 1: things that bodies do right in the same way that 210 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:18,480 Speaker 1: we normalize flatulence and gas. This is a normal body thing. 211 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:21,400 Speaker 1: We have ways that we are respectful of boundaries, but 212 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:23,680 Speaker 1: these are normal parts of the way our body functions. 213 00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:27,200 Speaker 1: M h. Yeah. The other piece of the conversation is 214 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:29,120 Speaker 1: that I think that there's a lot around like the 215 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:32,360 Speaker 1: physical symptoms that you get associated with diocycle, right, so 216 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,640 Speaker 1: cramps and maybe the moodiness and stuff like that. There 217 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:38,160 Speaker 1: isn't a lot of conversation around these things that we 218 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:40,240 Speaker 1: now know. I mean, of course, I think there has 219 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:43,320 Speaker 1: been these rumblings of PMS for a while, but PMDD, 220 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:46,600 Speaker 1: I think it's something that is still getting attention. Can 221 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,679 Speaker 1: you say a little bit more about like how that 222 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:52,000 Speaker 1: changes throughout our lives. Yeah, I mean, I think that 223 00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:55,120 Speaker 1: there's a real opportunity to also understand if the theme 224 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:59,719 Speaker 1: is going to be similar that the hormone levels are fluctuating. 225 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:03,120 Speaker 1: That's how menstruation happens in the first place, and the 226 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:06,760 Speaker 1: impacts and the experiences that people have on their emotions 227 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:11,160 Speaker 1: are real and not imagined in that whole notion, that 228 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:14,880 Speaker 1: age old notion of hysteria, right, but which was linked 229 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:18,080 Speaker 1: to the uterus, the history part, that part of the 230 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:23,200 Speaker 1: root of the word is really again stigmatizing the natural 231 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:26,439 Speaker 1: bodily functions of people with uterus is. And so I 232 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:31,199 Speaker 1: think that in this conversation around pre menstrual syndrome p 233 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:36,240 Speaker 1: MS or pre menstrual dystoric disorder, I think again recognizing 234 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:41,560 Speaker 1: and acknowledging the ways that these are normal happenings for 235 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:45,760 Speaker 1: people's bodies, and that finding support to manage, to identify 236 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:51,240 Speaker 1: and manage these experiences and symptoms is important. And if 237 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:55,240 Speaker 1: I may just share in an opportunity to just sort 238 00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:58,880 Speaker 1: of be open, I myself, I'm diagnosed with pre mentrual 239 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:05,680 Speaker 1: dysporic disorder, and my personal experience is that I was 240 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:10,320 Speaker 1: able to clock the mood changes and eventually see a 241 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:14,280 Speaker 1: pattern with my menstrual cycle. But initially I thought I 242 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,520 Speaker 1: was just tired, being real, I was irritable, and I 243 00:14:17,559 --> 00:14:21,880 Speaker 1: wasn't sleeping well, and it was only with my position 244 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:26,200 Speaker 1: I had gone to her my my gynecologists, and she 245 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:29,600 Speaker 1: asked a lot of really important questions and saw the 246 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:34,000 Speaker 1: pattern and said, you need a little extra serotonin at 247 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:38,800 Speaker 1: this point near cycle and prescribed products for days fourteen 248 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:41,400 Speaker 1: two through twenty eight for me, And it made in 249 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:43,760 Speaker 1: a world of difference. And I didn't know that was 250 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,160 Speaker 1: an option or a tool that I could have in 251 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:51,360 Speaker 1: my tool box. And I think that recognizing that these 252 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:56,480 Speaker 1: are normal parts of our experience and that our bodies 253 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,600 Speaker 1: are not going to be like a flat line through 254 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:03,280 Speaker 1: our life them So for me, I had three miscarriages 255 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:06,440 Speaker 1: before I had the pregnancy that my daughter was born 256 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:12,080 Speaker 1: up and the hormonal changes in my body affected and 257 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,520 Speaker 1: change so that I don't think I was someone who 258 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:19,320 Speaker 1: is experiencing TMDb prior to my pregnancy, And so I'm curious. 259 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:21,360 Speaker 1: I don't know this, but I'd be curious to just 260 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:24,680 Speaker 1: raise awareness for folks so they could ask their own clinicians, 261 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:27,640 Speaker 1: what changes did you see as a result of whatever 262 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,920 Speaker 1: your body has experienced, and how have those changes and 263 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:34,480 Speaker 1: your needs for support maybe evolved or change? What other 264 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,080 Speaker 1: new different support might you need based on what you've 265 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,480 Speaker 1: been through. This is really interesting that if I was, 266 00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:42,480 Speaker 1: because I do think to your point, there are so 267 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:45,760 Speaker 1: many changes that happen in our bodies, right, and it 268 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:48,600 Speaker 1: feels like there is a lot of attention if you 269 00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:51,320 Speaker 1: know that something is going on, like related to having 270 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:53,960 Speaker 1: a uter is, But if you don't know that's what 271 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:57,840 Speaker 1: it's connected to, you might just think, oh, I'm really tired, 272 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:01,320 Speaker 1: or I'm burned out, or something else is going on. Right. 273 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:03,200 Speaker 1: It is the kind of thing where you only really 274 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:06,920 Speaker 1: see your O, B G. Y in if you are expecting, 275 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:11,960 Speaker 1: or you know your yearly exam, but it's not somebody 276 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:13,920 Speaker 1: that we're kind of seeing like all the time. So 277 00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:15,960 Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of opportunity for things to 278 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:19,040 Speaker 1: be missed. I think that's absolutely right, and I think 279 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:24,600 Speaker 1: also legitimizing that it's not just in your head. Right, 280 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,920 Speaker 1: we know our bodies, We know what feels good and 281 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:30,560 Speaker 1: right or if you feel a little off. And so 282 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:33,400 Speaker 1: I'm not suggesting that you should go to doctor Google 283 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:37,880 Speaker 1: with every single ailment because bodies are complex. But I 284 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:42,600 Speaker 1: do think, for example, use birth control interior tracker apps 285 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:45,640 Speaker 1: like spot On because maybe you'll see a correlation in 286 00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:49,440 Speaker 1: a pattern in the ways that your feelings and your 287 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:53,160 Speaker 1: hormonal changes that may help. I've heard stories of people 288 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:57,560 Speaker 1: going to their nation with the data from their period 289 00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:59,920 Speaker 1: tracker app and from their birth control tracker app and 290 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,680 Speaker 1: think this is what I see, and they were able 291 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:07,159 Speaker 1: to use those data to help get more support and 292 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:10,359 Speaker 1: get some insight how their body was functioning. Mm hmmm. 293 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:12,800 Speaker 1: You know, it's kind of interesting, Dr Flowers. It feels 294 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:15,119 Speaker 1: like we're seeing that happen in real time right now, 295 00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:18,720 Speaker 1: as more people are sharing about their experiences of their 296 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:22,000 Speaker 1: cycles after getting the COVID night tea vaccine, right So, 297 00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:24,880 Speaker 1: it sounds like there's more information coming out around how 298 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:27,680 Speaker 1: people's cycles are changing after they've had either one or 299 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:32,000 Speaker 1: two doses of the vaccination. And we'll continue to get data, 300 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:35,200 Speaker 1: I mean in terms of COVID nincine and also the vaccine. 301 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:38,199 Speaker 1: We feel good about the science and where it's gotten us, 302 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,520 Speaker 1: and we're also still learning. So you're point around like 303 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,600 Speaker 1: keeping track of that data. Those are the kinds of 304 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:46,440 Speaker 1: things that you know you want to be potentially write down. 305 00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:49,439 Speaker 1: So I think there's real opportunities to for us to 306 00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:54,199 Speaker 1: hold that information about ourselves. M yeah. More from my 307 00:17:54,240 --> 00:18:06,239 Speaker 1: conversation with Dr Flowers right after the break from the 308 00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:09,800 Speaker 1: point at which there's this anxiety around getting your first 309 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:13,560 Speaker 1: cycle to now what does this mean and all the 310 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:16,400 Speaker 1: changes that kind of go throughout your body, and then 311 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:19,320 Speaker 1: there's a point of is this my last cycle? Right? 312 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:21,400 Speaker 1: So the other part of the spectrum that we don't 313 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:23,960 Speaker 1: hear much about is menopause. So can you talk a 314 00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:26,119 Speaker 1: little bit about, you know, like those kinds of changes 315 00:18:26,119 --> 00:18:28,000 Speaker 1: and what kinds of questions are thinks people should be 316 00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:30,879 Speaker 1: kind of looking into their pieces of that puzzle that 317 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:35,080 Speaker 1: we often missed. Yes, planned parenthood. We're really talking about 318 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:39,880 Speaker 1: how we can evolve into being a sex educator through 319 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:44,080 Speaker 1: the lifespan, because our sexual selves doesn't sort of like 320 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:47,400 Speaker 1: kick on and our late teen years and kick off 321 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:51,200 Speaker 1: after our child bearing years. That's not it. This is 322 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:55,480 Speaker 1: an inherent part of our humanity and our sexual reproductive 323 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:59,159 Speaker 1: health system. It's interwoven into the rest of us, and 324 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:03,040 Speaker 1: so how it evolve, avolves and changes and really understanding 325 00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:07,080 Speaker 1: and sort of pulling back the curtain on the perimenopausal 326 00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:10,919 Speaker 1: and menopausal experience, helping people to understand that in the 327 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:13,159 Speaker 1: same way, it was like a slow ramp up, like 328 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:14,840 Speaker 1: I described it earlier, and I don't know if this 329 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:16,440 Speaker 1: is a good analogy or not, but I got We'll 330 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:19,440 Speaker 1: stick with it. It's like a car spluttering to life. 331 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:22,320 Speaker 1: It also doesn't just turn off on a dime, right, 332 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:24,840 Speaker 1: And so one of the things I think, for example, 333 00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:28,119 Speaker 1: people may not realize is that actually folks are not 334 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,639 Speaker 1: officially in menopause until they missed their period for a 335 00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:34,719 Speaker 1: twelve months. And so you may miss your period for 336 00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:37,200 Speaker 1: eleven months and then you get your period, you restart 337 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:40,919 Speaker 1: the cloth, and so that takes a while because the 338 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:45,440 Speaker 1: body is changing years essentially, and I think thinking about 339 00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:49,760 Speaker 1: all of the other changes, mental health changes, the ways 340 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:53,760 Speaker 1: that your libido may be different, the way that your 341 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:58,000 Speaker 1: body may have self lubricated may change, like all of 342 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,760 Speaker 1: these opportunities to really be mindful and to seek support, 343 00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:08,720 Speaker 1: keep these conversations open, referring to either your clinician, others 344 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,399 Speaker 1: who've been through it, a lot of resources, but I 345 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:14,280 Speaker 1: think keeping the lines of communication open is really key, 346 00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:18,359 Speaker 1: and also going to experts who are really available to 347 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:22,480 Speaker 1: help shed some light on these new experiences. Mm hmm, yeah, 348 00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,600 Speaker 1: that is really important. I think that's why it's employant 349 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,600 Speaker 1: to have these conversations, right like we had a block 350 00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:30,399 Speaker 1: those recently about menopause. I think it is one of 351 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,520 Speaker 1: those things again where you may not necessarily be having 352 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,400 Speaker 1: these conversations with your girlfriends, right are you talking with 353 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:38,440 Speaker 1: you know, your mom's and your aunts about these kinds 354 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:43,320 Speaker 1: of things? Absolutely, And I think there's that piece, like 355 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:46,399 Speaker 1: we can be the conversation starters, right, we can open 356 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:49,080 Speaker 1: that door is one piece, And I think the other 357 00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:53,600 Speaker 1: piece is to acknowledge the complexity of our lives, right like, 358 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:59,200 Speaker 1: and all these different stages of life through adolescents, through 359 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:02,520 Speaker 1: your young built years, if you choose to parents, through 360 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:06,280 Speaker 1: your parents in years, through your middle and later adulthood, 361 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:08,880 Speaker 1: there's all of these trusts. You may be a caregiver 362 00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:12,760 Speaker 1: to your own parents, to a sibling, to your own children, 363 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:17,000 Speaker 1: to your spouse, for a partner. The stresses of life 364 00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:21,399 Speaker 1: impacts away our bodies functions, and so not discounting but 365 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:25,600 Speaker 1: again taking note of all of the different things that 366 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:29,440 Speaker 1: impact us and trying to remember that our bodies don't 367 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:33,800 Speaker 1: operate in a vacuum. So thinking about okay, what about 368 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:37,880 Speaker 1: like our doctors talking about renstrual cycle and maybe your 369 00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:43,240 Speaker 1: libido after cancer treatment, or how are you coping after 370 00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:47,719 Speaker 1: a recent separation from a partner or some other stressor Like, 371 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:51,719 Speaker 1: we've talked a lot in my career about folks really 372 00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:58,000 Speaker 1: navigating life, dating, life, libido during COVID. Right. Some people 373 00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:03,160 Speaker 1: are single, some people have been quarantined or physical distancing 374 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:06,160 Speaker 1: at home with their partner, and you and that partner 375 00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:10,520 Speaker 1: or partners may have really different response to this experience. 376 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:13,760 Speaker 1: So recognizing that there's a lot of elements that play 377 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:17,440 Speaker 1: to what your experience may be and how you sort 378 00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:19,560 Speaker 1: of feel through it, if that makes sense. M H. 379 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:23,200 Speaker 1: I'm curious that the flowers to hear your thoughts as 380 00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:25,840 Speaker 1: you know, things maybe opening back up. You know, once 381 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,680 Speaker 1: people are more vaccinated in those kinds of things. What 382 00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:33,040 Speaker 1: kinds of changes do you anticipate, just in terms of 383 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:36,280 Speaker 1: sexual health and reproductive health. I think one thing that 384 00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:38,879 Speaker 1: we've learned this year is we really want folks to 385 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:44,720 Speaker 1: still maintain their preventive care, so that means cancer screening, right. 386 00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:48,960 Speaker 1: We don't want to put those off because of the 387 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:53,080 Speaker 1: pandomic positions. Offices and clinicians have really been able to 388 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:56,880 Speaker 1: put protective measures in place to allow people to continue 389 00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:59,000 Speaker 1: to get the care they need. We want folks to 390 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:04,240 Speaker 1: continue to testing for SPI and seeking care. We've really 391 00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:08,960 Speaker 1: ramped up in the telehealth space and so access to care, 392 00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:14,080 Speaker 1: including therapy for Black girls, frankly as a platform, really 393 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:16,840 Speaker 1: has allowed folks to get the care that they need. 394 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,760 Speaker 1: As I mentioned to you when we were doing our introductions, 395 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:22,560 Speaker 1: I'm not only a fan, but I'm also sort of 396 00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,000 Speaker 1: a client. I found my own therapist from Therapy for 397 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:28,880 Speaker 1: Black Girls. So, like, I really see the ways that 398 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:33,080 Speaker 1: we have this opportunity in this moment to lean into. 399 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:37,359 Speaker 1: It's almost like there's some little silver linings of this pandemic, 400 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:41,840 Speaker 1: and telehealth and access and care online has allowed us 401 00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:44,320 Speaker 1: to really continue that we didn't have to put that 402 00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:48,120 Speaker 1: on pot. Yes, very good point. So I would love 403 00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:51,879 Speaker 1: to hear about how telehealth has advance because it feels 404 00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:53,800 Speaker 1: like there would be some stuff that would be difficult 405 00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:58,040 Speaker 1: to do virtually. So what kinds of services still can 406 00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:00,359 Speaker 1: be offered? Oh, I mean, I would say there's the 407 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:03,200 Speaker 1: other people who are much more expert in the telehealth 408 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:06,000 Speaker 1: space than I, But I think that really naming that 409 00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:09,560 Speaker 1: you can as I understand it, you know, the native 410 00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:13,359 Speaker 1: is anecdotal, but like most mental health care, our mental 411 00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:16,680 Speaker 1: health like regular therapy appointments is available via a secure 412 00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:21,240 Speaker 1: zoom like platform. I got a pandemic pup and the 413 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:25,240 Speaker 1: that texts me. So like this opportunity to ask questions, 414 00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,880 Speaker 1: have your questions answered, and for folks to be available 415 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:31,040 Speaker 1: to you seems to have increased a lot this year. 416 00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:33,760 Speaker 1: I do think we want to be clear that there 417 00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:37,760 Speaker 1: are some in person care modules like anagrams for example, 418 00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:41,200 Speaker 1: or colon cancer screenings that obviously have to be in person, 419 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:45,359 Speaker 1: but that distancing practices on the clinician side are in place. 420 00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:49,160 Speaker 1: And I think for STI testing you can reach out 421 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:52,600 Speaker 1: to Plan Parenthood and going to Plan Parenthood website and 422 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:56,040 Speaker 1: certainly a local plan parented health center could help you 423 00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:59,359 Speaker 1: get a sense of what's available to you and whether 424 00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:01,240 Speaker 1: or not that's the will be a telehealth earth are 425 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:04,880 Speaker 1: acquired and in person got it? Okay? So I want 426 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,159 Speaker 1: to back up a little bit when we think about again, 427 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:10,440 Speaker 1: like the life cycle of people who have periods, there 428 00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:13,280 Speaker 1: does seem to be this rapid switch between like when 429 00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:16,760 Speaker 1: you first get your cycle of don't get pregnant right 430 00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:19,359 Speaker 1: to the other side of it is when are you 431 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:22,520 Speaker 1: gonna give me some bran kids? Yeah? Right? And so 432 00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:25,080 Speaker 1: I think that there's something to be discussed around like 433 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:29,000 Speaker 1: how rapidly the message switches, but also the difficulty that 434 00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:32,200 Speaker 1: people find themselves in when they are struggling to conceive. 435 00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:34,760 Speaker 1: There's so many points of that question. I'm trying to 436 00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:38,480 Speaker 1: figure out how to narrow it in the conversation around 437 00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:43,080 Speaker 1: going from Okay, a young person is now can get 438 00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:45,520 Speaker 1: their period, and now one of the things that this 439 00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:48,640 Speaker 1: means is that this person is capable of getting pregnant 440 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:52,240 Speaker 1: or that their body is telling them is an important message? 441 00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:56,399 Speaker 1: And what are the other important messages? Right? If some 442 00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:58,800 Speaker 1: the only message that we want to be thinking to 443 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,359 Speaker 1: young people about the age of their lives, Like what 444 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:03,720 Speaker 1: are the other dreams that we have for young people 445 00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:08,679 Speaker 1: and we think about them becoming sexually active at some 446 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:10,840 Speaker 1: point in their lives and the ways that we want 447 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:15,480 Speaker 1: to normalize period, is there also a way to normalize 448 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:19,600 Speaker 1: a healthy sort of sexual maturity if that makes sense, 449 00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:21,880 Speaker 1: Like this is a thing that adults are going to do. 450 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,320 Speaker 1: Young people are going to become sexually active at some point, 451 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:30,840 Speaker 1: So what's the ways that we frame the conversation all 452 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:34,040 Speaker 1: together as like this is a normal, healthy way that 453 00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:37,000 Speaker 1: we are developing into adulthood. Many years ago, there was 454 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,399 Speaker 1: something called the European Study Tour that our colleagues have 455 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:43,439 Speaker 1: advocates for youth and other sex education groups um across 456 00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:46,719 Speaker 1: the country work to do. And they took teachers and 457 00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:49,800 Speaker 1: parents and teams from this country and went and did 458 00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:53,320 Speaker 1: a tour smory Sarch. They did a tour across a 459 00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:57,639 Speaker 1: few European countries asking about sexual health and sexual education 460 00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:00,879 Speaker 1: and young people becoming sexually active. And the geame that 461 00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:06,639 Speaker 1: this American group learned was that our European peers saw 462 00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:09,560 Speaker 1: becoming sexually active as a normal part of growing up. 463 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:13,080 Speaker 1: That it wasn't stigmatized as don't ever do that, Oh now, 464 00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:15,040 Speaker 1: just start doing it and give me grandkids right like. 465 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:18,080 Speaker 1: It wasn't this flip. It was a recognition that this 466 00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:24,000 Speaker 1: is a normal, developmentally appropriate growth trajectory and that with 467 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:31,800 Speaker 1: that developmentally appropriate runaway comes responsibility. So essentially, young people 468 00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:35,879 Speaker 1: were being raised that when you become sexually active, you 469 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:40,400 Speaker 1: do so in a way where you use varrier methods 470 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:43,480 Speaker 1: to pround pregnancy and STI. You use condoms externals. And 471 00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:46,280 Speaker 1: at this time I don't know if we had internal condoms, 472 00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:49,159 Speaker 1: but if we were to evolve the conversation, the notion 473 00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:56,000 Speaker 1: would be using methods to prevent STI transmission and pregnancy 474 00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:59,639 Speaker 1: so that you can engage responsibly and hopefully in a 475 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:03,760 Speaker 1: way that both parties are experiencing pleasure, right and so 476 00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:07,359 Speaker 1: recognizing that this is a complex conversation, and then we 477 00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:09,520 Speaker 1: have the opportunity to frame it in a way that 478 00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:12,919 Speaker 1: we frame other Dare I say rights of passage and 479 00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:15,919 Speaker 1: growing up? These are elements of growing up hopefully with 480 00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:21,160 Speaker 1: a consensual experience. And I think to your other points around, 481 00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:26,040 Speaker 1: you know, really acknowledging that how do we responsibly explain 482 00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:31,000 Speaker 1: to people how pregnancy happens and help people also understand 483 00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:35,679 Speaker 1: fertility varies and changes and that the experience again is 484 00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:39,040 Speaker 1: not going to be a one size fitsol experience and 485 00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:42,120 Speaker 1: help people feel set up for success about how to 486 00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:48,360 Speaker 1: understand their fertility, how to understand ways to seek support 487 00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:51,800 Speaker 1: if they're trying to get pregnant and they're not having success. 488 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,760 Speaker 1: I'll leave it to my own personal story if that's okay. 489 00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:59,320 Speaker 1: And I mentioned I had three pregnancies before I was 490 00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:03,520 Speaker 1: pregnant with my daughter, and I being someone who spent 491 00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:06,560 Speaker 1: her whole career working in such and regressive health. When 492 00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:12,200 Speaker 1: I had my first miscarriage, I really approached it in 493 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:16,720 Speaker 1: a really like distant way. I like said, to myself, 494 00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:21,400 Speaker 1: this is normal. Miscarriages happened to some whatever high percentage 495 00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:26,800 Speaker 1: of pregnant people. And maybe I knew too much, frankly, 496 00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:30,120 Speaker 1: because I don't think that I had the emotional toll 497 00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:32,440 Speaker 1: that it took on me. But I think that, like, 498 00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:34,920 Speaker 1: how do we help people to understand that miscarriage is 499 00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:38,959 Speaker 1: normal and also understand that you still need support through it. 500 00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:41,960 Speaker 1: How do we help people to know, you know, when 501 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:45,040 Speaker 1: I had my experience, I didn't help. It was just 502 00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:48,880 Speaker 1: me and my husband. I didn't seek support until I 503 00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:51,960 Speaker 1: felt comfortable doing so. And I made the conscious decision 504 00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,560 Speaker 1: after the fact to be more vocal because people were 505 00:29:55,800 --> 00:30:00,000 Speaker 1: commenting to me publicly about when we were gonna sorry 506 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:03,040 Speaker 1: at a family and that's painful and intrusive to be 507 00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:08,160 Speaker 1: perfectly honest, right, And so also this opportunity I saw 508 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:11,640 Speaker 1: and continue to see it as I have an opportunity 509 00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:16,560 Speaker 1: to help other people know that they're not alone. I mean, 510 00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:20,480 Speaker 1: I remember walking around having experienced these miscarriages, and I 511 00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:22,880 Speaker 1: felt like pregnant people were dropping out of the trees, 512 00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:24,880 Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like it felt like they 513 00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:27,960 Speaker 1: were everywhere and that's all I wanted, and my body 514 00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:32,400 Speaker 1: was not. I couldn't, I wasn't able to do it. 515 00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:35,400 Speaker 1: I finally got the support I needed to stay pregnant. 516 00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:38,440 Speaker 1: I felt very alone, and I sort of tell my 517 00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:42,080 Speaker 1: story so that others will know they're not alone. People 518 00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:45,880 Speaker 1: are going through this. And I remember walking around feeling 519 00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:48,560 Speaker 1: like everybody else just like looked at their partner and 520 00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:53,160 Speaker 1: not only got pregnant, but stayed pregnant. And so I think, 521 00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:56,840 Speaker 1: like again, another theme is this communication and this opportunity 522 00:30:56,880 --> 00:31:00,960 Speaker 1: to really normalize all of these con stations, because what 523 00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:02,760 Speaker 1: you and I have been talking about is there's so 524 00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:08,640 Speaker 1: much stigma in these normal experiences. Like I needed medical intervention, right, 525 00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:11,440 Speaker 1: I had a blood plotting disorder that caused my carriages. 526 00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:15,040 Speaker 1: But like, by normalizing it, by bringing these words out 527 00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,960 Speaker 1: of the shadows and into the light, how I can 528 00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:21,120 Speaker 1: help someone else not feel alone, or someone else know 529 00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:23,400 Speaker 1: to ask their doctor to have their blood tested for 530 00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:27,160 Speaker 1: from ophelia, Like those were things I didn't know to do, 531 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,680 Speaker 1: and so how do we bring that out to normalize? 532 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:35,680 Speaker 1: I mentioned that I started therapy and I normalize talking 533 00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:38,600 Speaker 1: about it in front of my child. I have therapy, 534 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:42,080 Speaker 1: it had fifteen I can't be disturbed. I say to 535 00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:44,680 Speaker 1: my husband, can you make sure that everybody stays upstairs 536 00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:47,120 Speaker 1: so that I can have privacy? And I explained to 537 00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:50,040 Speaker 1: my child this is what I'm working on right I'm 538 00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:51,760 Speaker 1: working with this doctor because I want to work on 539 00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:54,040 Speaker 1: these things. And so how do we bring all of 540 00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:58,360 Speaker 1: these conversations, menstruation and these other pieces and whether we're 541 00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:01,840 Speaker 1: experiencing PMS, m b D, how do we bring them 542 00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:04,680 Speaker 1: into the light so that all of these experiences we're 543 00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:08,959 Speaker 1: having are seen as parts of our human experience, so 544 00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:12,320 Speaker 1: that we don't go alone. Yes, more from my conversation 545 00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:25,719 Speaker 1: with Dr Flowers right after the break, I wonder if 546 00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:28,440 Speaker 1: we can go back to our earlier conversation and maybe 547 00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:30,719 Speaker 1: have you shared Actor Flowers, some tips for people who 548 00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:33,600 Speaker 1: are talking to younger people in their lives about like 549 00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:35,920 Speaker 1: how to change some of this messaging. You know, I 550 00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:37,600 Speaker 1: think you've given us some, but I'd love to hear 551 00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:39,720 Speaker 1: there are other tips you can have for how you know, 552 00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:42,400 Speaker 1: how we can't really normalize this, especially for young people, 553 00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:44,520 Speaker 1: so they don't grow up with the same you know, 554 00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:46,840 Speaker 1: hangups and thinking that it's not okay to talk about 555 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,840 Speaker 1: this stuff. Absolutely. I mean, one of the things that 556 00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:53,520 Speaker 1: we want from a sex education perspective, we want parents 557 00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:57,640 Speaker 1: and other parents, developed and trusted develps to understand is 558 00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:00,960 Speaker 1: the adults in the family are really the people who 559 00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:04,040 Speaker 1: are shaping these messages. We know are young people are 560 00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:07,760 Speaker 1: watching off. We know if you've slipped up. You know 561 00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:10,400 Speaker 1: that three year old says that curse word exactly the 562 00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:15,160 Speaker 1: same in exactly the right way. You know what I mean, 563 00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:17,360 Speaker 1: use it in the exactly the right context. And so 564 00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:20,840 Speaker 1: we know they're listening, we know they're watching, And so 565 00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:24,800 Speaker 1: what are the ways that we're normalizing these bodily function 566 00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:28,920 Speaker 1: Is it that you're comfortable change in your pads and 567 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:32,360 Speaker 1: explaining to the kids that may be beyond the boundaries 568 00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:35,240 Speaker 1: of simples, but knowing that some poles do that may 569 00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:38,080 Speaker 1: make a different adults feel like, oh I never considered that. 570 00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:40,080 Speaker 1: I always thought I should hide it. Maybe I should 571 00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:43,120 Speaker 1: question that and that approach or even just talking about it, 572 00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:46,320 Speaker 1: or when you're buying your tampons or your pads in 573 00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:49,040 Speaker 1: the grocery store. As a kid, I used to want 574 00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:50,840 Speaker 1: to hide it. On the conveyor belt. What are the 575 00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:54,000 Speaker 1: small things we can do to make this normal. Another 576 00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:57,239 Speaker 1: story I remember is I did a study abroad as 577 00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:00,280 Speaker 1: a sophomore or junior in high school. I with the 578 00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:02,520 Speaker 1: family for three weeks, and it probably wasn't until I 579 00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:05,040 Speaker 1: got home, but I realized every night at the dinner table, 580 00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:07,560 Speaker 1: the mom and the eldest teenage daughter took their pills 581 00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:10,200 Speaker 1: at the same time. I don't know what they were doing. 582 00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:12,160 Speaker 1: Why it sixteen did I not know that that's what 583 00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:14,960 Speaker 1: they were doing. But the family that was a normal 584 00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:19,680 Speaker 1: piece of their dinner routine. And I remember the mother 585 00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:22,920 Speaker 1: staying in French to the other teenager who is my age, 586 00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:26,640 Speaker 1: I think she said, which was like, give me the 587 00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:29,040 Speaker 1: pills when they were in a cabinet behind that person seat, 588 00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:30,640 Speaker 1: and she gave them to the mom and to the 589 00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:33,400 Speaker 1: older sister. And that was a way that this family 590 00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:37,239 Speaker 1: normalized this part of their self care. And so what 591 00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:40,080 Speaker 1: are ways in your family that you could normalize these 592 00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:43,400 Speaker 1: bodily functions. And I think you also have to understand 593 00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:46,480 Speaker 1: that everybody's comfort level is going to be different. My 594 00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:49,040 Speaker 1: dad would not have been comfortable with me talking about 595 00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:52,279 Speaker 1: bodily fluids. At the dinner table. But I think the 596 00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:55,000 Speaker 1: way that I'm choosing to raise my child is different, 597 00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:57,600 Speaker 1: and how do we normalize this while also thinking about 598 00:34:57,640 --> 00:35:00,120 Speaker 1: your own family boundaries? So I think we a the 599 00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:03,600 Speaker 1: adults have an opportunity to consider what do we want 600 00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:06,000 Speaker 1: to take with us from when we were raised and 601 00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:07,640 Speaker 1: what do we want to maybe forge a new path? 602 00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:12,320 Speaker 1: Mm hmmm. And do you have any suggestions for resources? 603 00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:14,560 Speaker 1: I copply was that you really enjoy that might help 604 00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:19,440 Speaker 1: con seue these conversations, things that people find really useful. Absolutely, So, 605 00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:22,160 Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of resources on Planned parenthood 606 00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:25,520 Speaker 1: dot org. And you know, if people need sexual reproductive 607 00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:28,839 Speaker 1: health care, you can certainly find your nearest plan parent 608 00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:31,200 Speaker 1: at a health center on our website. You can follow 609 00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:34,520 Speaker 1: us on Instagram at planned Parenthood And also we have 610 00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:38,480 Speaker 1: a series of videos that are available for young people 611 00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:41,280 Speaker 1: for teens. But we also have a serious for parents 612 00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:44,640 Speaker 1: and for caregivers around how to have some of these 613 00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:49,200 Speaker 1: tough conversations or these opportunities for teachable moments. So I 614 00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,560 Speaker 1: think there's real there's a lot of resources that are 615 00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:56,120 Speaker 1: available online. Another resource that I'd offer is we have 616 00:35:56,200 --> 00:36:00,080 Speaker 1: colleague organizations that created a series called a May is 617 00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:03,320 Speaker 1: an Amazed Juior, which is a video series also available 618 00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:06,440 Speaker 1: on YouTube, which is sex education for the younger set, 619 00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:11,040 Speaker 1: so it's developmentally appropriate for the elementary school aged young people. 620 00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:16,920 Speaker 1: And so there's really a plethora of resources available as 621 00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:20,120 Speaker 1: well as many many sex educators that I could name 622 00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:25,759 Speaker 1: Dr Lex Yes, yes you know Dr Lex Yeah, yeah, 623 00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:30,400 Speaker 1: she's been excellent. So Dr Lex is one, after a 624 00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:34,279 Speaker 1: Sexology is another. So a lot of resources sex positive families. 625 00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:36,759 Speaker 1: There's a lot of resources depending on who you are 626 00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:39,440 Speaker 1: and what you're looking for, that's available to you online. Perfect. 627 00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:42,280 Speaker 1: I appreciate it. And is there anything that we haven't 628 00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:44,040 Speaker 1: covered today that if I was that you're like, oh, 629 00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:45,840 Speaker 1: I'd be so said if we didn't talk about this. 630 00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:49,359 Speaker 1: I think we covered so many things. I just really 631 00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:53,160 Speaker 1: appreciate the opportunity to be here to have this conversation 632 00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:58,320 Speaker 1: with you. And certainly if folks want to be able 633 00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:02,480 Speaker 1: to use an up like spot On to track their 634 00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:04,879 Speaker 1: own cycle and their own birth control, I mean that's 635 00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:08,799 Speaker 1: another resource that's available m perfect Perfect, And I just 636 00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:11,760 Speaker 1: thought it was is their age where you can start 637 00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:14,960 Speaker 1: accessing services from plant parent who I think there may 638 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:19,600 Speaker 1: be different inclusion are excusing criteria, not a specific age. 639 00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:21,959 Speaker 1: So I think if there were a need, I would 640 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:26,279 Speaker 1: contact your local health center um explain that need. And 641 00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:29,960 Speaker 1: certainly we offer not only sexual reproductive health care, but 642 00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:33,680 Speaker 1: obviously also sex education, which again we mentioned is through 643 00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:36,760 Speaker 1: the lifestanse. So depending on what your local Plan Parenthood 644 00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:39,799 Speaker 1: affiliate offers, I think the best thing to do would 645 00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:42,719 Speaker 1: be to ask for what it is that you're looking for, 646 00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:46,840 Speaker 1: and we will connect you with the right resources. Perfect 647 00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:49,719 Speaker 1: And do you have any personal social media handles you'd 648 00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:51,719 Speaker 1: like to share outside of the plant parent Who's one? 649 00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:54,880 Speaker 1: I actually keep my social media personal. That's one of 650 00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:57,840 Speaker 1: my boundaries of self care pieces. But you can definitely 651 00:37:57,880 --> 00:38:00,719 Speaker 1: find me on Plan parenthods Thatt or none of problem. Well, 652 00:38:00,719 --> 00:38:02,960 Speaker 1: thank you so much for that, Dr Flowers. I appreciate 653 00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:05,279 Speaker 1: you chatting with me today. Thank you so much, Dr Joy, 654 00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:10,640 Speaker 1: I appreciate this time. I'm so glad Dr Flowers was 655 00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:13,759 Speaker 1: able to share her expertise with us today. To learn 656 00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:16,839 Speaker 1: more about the resources that she shared, visit the show 657 00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:19,680 Speaker 1: notes at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash Session 658 00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:22,920 Speaker 1: two oh five, and don't forget to share this episode 659 00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:26,479 Speaker 1: with two of your girls right now. If you're looking 660 00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:28,839 Speaker 1: for a therapist in your area, be sure to check 661 00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:31,719 Speaker 1: out our therapist directory at Therapy for Black Girls dot 662 00:38:31,719 --> 00:38:35,360 Speaker 1: com slash directory. And if you want to continue digging 663 00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:38,719 Speaker 1: into this topic or just be in community with other sisters, 664 00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:41,200 Speaker 1: come on over and join us in the Sister Circle. 665 00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:44,239 Speaker 1: It's our cozy corner of the Internet designed just for 666 00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:47,720 Speaker 1: black women. You can join us at community dot Therapy 667 00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:51,200 Speaker 1: for Black girls dot com. Thank you all so much 668 00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:53,759 Speaker 1: for joining me again this week. I look forward to 669 00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:58,040 Speaker 1: continuing this conversation with you all real soon. Takee care, 670 00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:06,640 Speaker 1: M the best best best wood