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Speaker 1: Buggle up, hold on tight, we got it for you here.

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Speaker 1: It is a straw very letter subject. I was willing

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Speaker 1: to settle for a loser here Stephen Shirley. I was

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Speaker 1: attracted to a very sweet, tall, dark and handsome guy,

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Speaker 1: and I was dying to meet him. So I made

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Speaker 1: the first move and I asked him out on a date.

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Speaker 1: I invited him to dinner, and I asked him to

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Speaker 1: meet me at the restaurant. He said that he would

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Speaker 1: need to pick He would need me to pick him

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Speaker 1: up because his car is in the shop. I usually

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Speaker 1: don't drive men around, but I thought, what the heck,

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Speaker 1: and I went to get him. On the way to

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Speaker 1: the restaurant, he said that he is going through a

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Speaker 1: rough time and his ex girlfriend has him on child support,

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Speaker 1: so he is looking for a better job to pay

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Speaker 1: child support and get his car fixed. Since I invited

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Speaker 1: him to dinner, and because of the conversation in the car,

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Speaker 1: I offered to pay for dinner and he left me.

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Speaker 1: I saw all the red flags with him, but I

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Speaker 1: did not run away from this situation initially. After a

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Speaker 1: few more dates, I got tired of hearing about his

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Speaker 1: problems and I told him. He told me that I

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Speaker 1: need to be a riot or die type of chick

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Speaker 1: and I need to be patient with him. That was

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Speaker 1: the final straw, and I told him that we're not

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Speaker 1: compatible and I didn't want to see him anymore. He

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Speaker 1: called me a bougie AffA and said that I'd never

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Speaker 1: find any man that could put up with me. This

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Speaker 1: really hurt my feelings because that's not who I am.

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Speaker 1: If I was bougie, I wouldn't I would have stopped

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Speaker 1: talking to him after the first date. I was trying

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Speaker 1: to have an open mind and do things differently. Now

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Speaker 1: I feel used because I was willing to overlook his

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Speaker 1: shortcomings and help him by being supportive. My married friends

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Speaker 1: say that said that I should not ever compromise my standards,

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Speaker 1: but I haven't had success in a relationship, so I

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Speaker 1: tried to switch it up. I'm just a single professional

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Speaker 1: female wanting a good man. What am I doing wrong? Okay?

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Speaker 1: You know what? I agree with you with your married

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Speaker 1: friends when they say don't compromise your standards. Okay, I

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Speaker 1: understand you were doing the same thing, so you wanted

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Speaker 1: to try something different, but you knew going in, you

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Speaker 1: saw the red flags. You ignored the red flags and

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Speaker 1: so this is what you ended up with. I mean,

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Speaker 1: you offered to pay for dinner, you went to pick

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Speaker 1: him up. You know all these things. His car was

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Speaker 1: in the shop, he had to pay for child support

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Speaker 1: and all this, and for him to call you that,

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Speaker 1: after all the things that you've done for him, it

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Speaker 1: shows that he wasn't appreciative anyway. So I don't think

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Speaker 1: I don't think he was worthy of you anyway. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I think you should just be patient, don't lower your standards,

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Speaker 1: don't settle, and the right man will come along. Steve.

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Speaker 1: This is a real simple letter to me, to Cheryl

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Speaker 1: and Steve. I was attracted to a very sweet, tall

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Speaker 1: dog and a handsome guy. I was dying to meet him,

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Speaker 1: so I made the first move. I asked him out

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Speaker 1: on the date you picked him. You went over there

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Speaker 1: and picked him. This was your selection. So here we go.

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Speaker 1: I invited him to dinner, asked him to meet me

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Speaker 1: at the restaurant. He said he would need me to

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Speaker 1: pick him up because his car was in the shop.

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Speaker 1: Was no, biggie old you stayed there, You just you

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Speaker 1: know you stayed there. He said he wanted to pick

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Speaker 1: up because his car was in the shop now, usually

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Speaker 1: don't give drive me in around, but I thought, what

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Speaker 1: the heck? I went to get him. On the way

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Speaker 1: to the restaurant. He said, he's going through a rough

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Speaker 1: time and his ex girlfriend had him on child support. No,

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Speaker 1: your ex girlfriend don't have you on child support. The

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Speaker 1: state put you on child support because YO ask goots

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Speaker 1: to send it, and so that it ain't the girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: He ain't got nothing to do with it the state.

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Speaker 1: So now he was looking for a better job to

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Speaker 1: pay child support and get his car fix. He need

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Speaker 1: a better job to pay his child support and get

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Speaker 1: his car fix, so he ain't working well better job? Right? No,

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Speaker 1: he didn't have no money for dinner. Ship Okay, since

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Speaker 1: I invited him to dinner and because of the conversation

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Speaker 1: in the car, I offered to pay for dinner and

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Speaker 1: he let me what he had to let you he

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Speaker 1: didn't have it. This ain't no, he ain't let nothing.

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Speaker 1: Now he lets you pick him up, then he lets

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Speaker 1: you hit his story, then he lets you know all

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Speaker 1: of this is now. The problem we have is you

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Speaker 1: pick this man. The reason. Maybe he didn't walk up

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Speaker 1: to you in the first place because he knew all

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Speaker 1: of it. Maybe he didn't have his stuff in order,

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Speaker 1: and he knew all this. But since you ran upon

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Speaker 1: him and you picked him, here you go. He saw you,

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Speaker 1: but he know he having stuff together, so he didn't

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Speaker 1: say nothing to you. So now you pick him off

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Speaker 1: to pay for dinner. He felt like I said, And

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Speaker 1: then she said, and he let me. I saw all

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Speaker 1: the red flags with him, but I didn't run away

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Speaker 1: from this situation initially. A lady was on my talk

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Speaker 1: show the other day. She said something I thought was

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Speaker 1: really wonderful. What she told all the women. She said,

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Speaker 1: stopped collecting red flags. Stop collecting red flags when you

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Speaker 1: get one what you need? Six seven mom, for now,

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Speaker 1: you got a bunch of red flags in the back

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Speaker 1: seat of your car. A few more dates, I got

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Speaker 1: tired of hearing about his problem. He just he just

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Speaker 1: at the house and play man. Hey, hey, hey, where

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Speaker 1: are you going this movie? You know what else I

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Speaker 1: can't do? What ask me something? I probably can't even

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Speaker 1: do to ask me something? Well, okay, movies, Okay, how

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Speaker 1: about we just go to the mall and maybe oh

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Speaker 1: hell no, walk around? Yeah, walk around? No, you're gonna

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Speaker 1: you get thirsty when you walk around. Yeah, yeah, we'd

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Speaker 1: stop and get You get hungry when you walk around.

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Speaker 1: Yeah usually, yeah, Okay, we can't go to mall. You

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Speaker 1: want to walk around somewhere else? Wow? What what about? Um,

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Speaker 1: let's go to a museum. That's fine. Yeah yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's cool. That's cool. You you like art? I love art?

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Speaker 1: Love art? Yeah I do? Actually, yeah we all no more?

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Speaker 1: Yeah you got all art? You go ahead right now.

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Speaker 1: The car show is in town. Let's go to the

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Speaker 1: car shoot that that's free in ain't't need me looking

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Speaker 1: in a car my car shot to let What is

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Speaker 1: we looking for? I'm looking for a way to get

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Speaker 1: this card shot. Oh I see what shot? She broke

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Speaker 1: up with him? Yea. The title alone leads to a catastrophe. Loser.

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Speaker 1: The guy you met was sweet, tall, handsome, but he

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Speaker 1: didn't approach you. You approach him, then you found out

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Speaker 1: all this negative stuff about it. He didn't have a car.

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Speaker 1: You had to pick him up. He needed a new job.

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Speaker 1: He back on child support. His girlfriend put him on

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Speaker 1: child support. I told him miss the state since you

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Speaker 1: invited him to dinner because of the conversation, the car,

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Speaker 1: you had to pay for dinner. He let you. I

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Speaker 1: saw the red flags with him but I did not

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Speaker 1: run away from this. I've said before ladies stopped collecting

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Speaker 1: red flags. Question, yes, um, was it wrong? Because a

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Speaker 1: lot of people, especially young women these days, steve, they

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Speaker 1: will ask a guy out. Let's hear your opinion, as

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Speaker 1: chief love off on that you can ask a guy out,

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Speaker 1: like as times are different, So you can ask a guy,

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Speaker 1: but you have to ask yourself this question. Him being

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Speaker 1: the hunter as we are, why didn't he ever ask

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Speaker 1: you out? Could it be he wasn't interested? Could it

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Speaker 1: be that he don't have himself together? Or just could

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Speaker 1: it be uh, he know, he ain't got nothing offer,

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Speaker 1: which is pretty much the same as he ain't got

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Speaker 1: self together. So when you walk up to these men

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Speaker 1: and you hit on him quite naturally, they think something

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Speaker 1: is up. So they're gonna go on, they go out

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Speaker 1: with you. Yeah, they're gonna do what they do. Ye try,

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Speaker 1: but when you see the red flags, you gotta stop collection.

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Speaker 1: That's right, you're you're you're right to send that message

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Speaker 1: to women. We can't. We have to stop ignoring the

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Speaker 1: red flags, especially when they're there blaring. They're right there,

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Speaker 1: you know, definitely, So you're saying it's okay to ask

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Speaker 1: a man out, but just be aware of what you

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Speaker 1: might get. You might get. Be aware that you didn't ask,

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Speaker 1: that he didn't ask you. We see you ain't no

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Speaker 1: fine woman walking up us, and we didn't see her coming.

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Speaker 1: We ain't never a surprise. Oh man, she came over

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Speaker 1: here a man. Look at my lucky day. And that's

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Speaker 1: exactly what it is. And it happens that way. So ladies,

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Speaker 1: stop settling. She said, I was willing to settle for

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Speaker 1: a loser. You can't settle for losers. Ladies, When you

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Speaker 1: settle for losers, you find yourself getting further and further

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Speaker 1: behind where you're trying to get to. You want a loving,

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Speaker 1: committed relationship with a wonderful man that has a plan.

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Speaker 1: But when you when you date these losers and you

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Speaker 1: know they losers, then you just further putting yourself behind

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Speaker 1: the eight ball. You're never gonna get to where you

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Speaker 1: want to be. So, ladies, as times have changed and

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Speaker 1: women are becoming a little bit more aggressive, yeah, still

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Speaker 1: at the end of the day, you mean, just walk

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Speaker 1: in front of him a couple of times. He hunter

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Speaker 1: he gonna see you, He's gonna stop. Oh girl, I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: but I've even I've even heard of women who proposed

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Speaker 1: to men, you know, yeah, definitely, yeah, what do you

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Speaker 1: think as chief love officer? I mean, I don't know

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Speaker 1: how that works. Man. He gets on her knee and

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Speaker 1: she definitely what he gets the act of the proposal.

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Speaker 1: That doesn't seem like a small move to me. But

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Speaker 1: I have heard of that, you know, yeah, yeah, definitely,

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Speaker 1: especially with the you know, the younger women that done

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Speaker 1: it here. They think, you know, a lot of the

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Speaker 1: tradition is old fashioned and things like that. So you

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Speaker 1: get on your knee, I help you up when you

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Speaker 1: get through a knee, asking me, well, but but and

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Speaker 1: another thing? He read flag. I gotta figure out how

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Speaker 1: you had these flags when he flaged on you noticeable?

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Speaker 1: And that's what you gotta work on. How you getting stop?

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Speaker 1: You don't want people to see your flag? I had

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Speaker 1: a green trying to hell. No, this is National Woman's Day.

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Speaker 1: That's why a lot of people in the letter right

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Speaker 1: not you, Tommy get specific. But I did want to

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Speaker 1: ask you, Steve, how how would a man feel? How

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Speaker 1: does a man feel if a woman proposes to him?

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Speaker 1: I mean, speaking from a man's perspective, I don't know

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Speaker 1: I would be thrown off with it? What do you mean?

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Speaker 1: I mean, you've taken a moment away from me. It

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Speaker 1: ain't you're gonna ask you? The man you're gonna say

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Speaker 1: you is looking ask No. I told her, hell you,

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Speaker 1: I'm just giving the vine. Yeah, but but it would

201
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Speaker 1: have thrown you off. It would have thrown you off.

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Speaker 1: It most definitely would have thrown I can't imagine her

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Speaker 1: saying that too. And life is tough enough, ladies. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, somebody sending me something one day to say,

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Speaker 1: life is too short for me to wait on you

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Speaker 1: to act right. I ain't got time for you to wait.

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Speaker 1: I'm grown, you grown. If this ain't what you want,

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Speaker 1: let's just keep on moving, but don't play with me. Well,

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Speaker 1: I mean, what about him though, calling her bougie a bougie,

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Speaker 1: halfie a half well, he ain't got nothing else. What

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Speaker 1: was he gonna do? What was he gonna do? Threaten

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Speaker 1: to leave us somewhere, He ain't gonna cary, but she

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Speaker 1: picked him up, pay for dinner. That's all he had.

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Speaker 1: He tried to swing with what they had, so he

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Speaker 1: resort to name calling, yeah and telling her she should

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Speaker 1: be a ride or die type of chick, he ain't

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Speaker 1: ride or die his car in the shop. So in

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Speaker 1: situations like this, the same advice for women you're saying

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Speaker 1: as well, Well, I just think the women women definitely

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Speaker 1: have to not compromise. They have to be aware of

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Speaker 1: their value that they have and what they bring to

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Speaker 1: the table. And if a man can't match what you

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Speaker 1: bring to the table, or if he doesn't have a

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Speaker 1: plan that will match us, a pass what you got.

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Speaker 1: You're just gonna keep moving. So when he initially told

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Speaker 1: her he couldn't pay for dinner, his girlfriend was getting

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Speaker 1: him for child support and he didn't have a car.

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Speaker 1: What should she have done at that? She should have

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Speaker 1: stopped at the semi level and went in the front

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Speaker 1: door and walked out to back call her girlfriend about

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Speaker 1: three hours later, went back over there and pitch your

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Speaker 1: call right where. Yeah, I can not only can I

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Speaker 1: not pay for dinner, I ain't got no car to

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Speaker 1: driver's away from dinner. Sometimes we can as women be

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Speaker 1: too nice, you know, or try to fix, try to

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Speaker 1: fix things, try to think he's going to change, you know,

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Speaker 1: we can change a man and all of that. So, yeah, definitely,

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Speaker 1: Steve great advice. Don't compromise. Your standards, don't settle, and

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Speaker 1: do not ignore it. Those red flags ladies, all right, listen,

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Speaker 1: we gotta get out of here. Happy International Women's Day

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Speaker 1: to all the women too. Yes, you can email us

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Speaker 1: or instagram us your thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter At

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Speaker 1: Steve Harvey FM. You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning

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Speaker 1: Show