WEBVTT - All That You CAN Leave Behind 0:00:05.960 --> 0:00:08.319 Hi, babe, it is La La Kent. Welcome back to 0:00:08.400 --> 0:00:10.760 my pod dot dot dot Cast. 0:00:11.039 --> 0:00:13.480 Happy New Year, Happy New Year. 0:00:13.880 --> 0:00:14.680 Is that wild? 0:00:15.320 --> 0:00:15.560 Yeah? 0:00:16.040 --> 0:00:18.720 Twenty twenty four flew by you guys. 0:00:19.160 --> 0:00:21.920 It, Yeah, it really did. Because you were pregnant then 0:00:21.920 --> 0:00:24.760 had a kid. You've done a lot in twenty twenty 0:00:24.760 --> 0:00:28.120 four and seems like it went by like that, like 0:00:28.200 --> 0:00:31.400 going through Like Landon was talking about him going back 0:00:31.440 --> 0:00:33.760 and watching his reels of his cooking videos and then 0:00:33.840 --> 0:00:34.960 one of them, you're pregnant. 0:00:35.520 --> 0:00:36.560 That part is weird. 0:00:36.880 --> 0:00:37.240 Weird. 0:00:37.720 --> 0:00:41.840 Well, I just feel like it feels like, well most 0:00:41.880 --> 0:00:44.520 of it, I feel like I was pregnant, and then 0:00:44.920 --> 0:00:48.360 vander Pump was airing and it was just very intense, 0:00:49.200 --> 0:00:51.920 and it just it feels like it was the longest 0:00:52.080 --> 0:00:56.200 year ever. But at the same time, I look back 0:00:56.240 --> 0:00:59.480 and I'm like, how did it end so fast? People 0:00:59.560 --> 0:01:02.160 say this about children, They say the days are long, 0:01:02.920 --> 0:01:06.120 but the years are short. And I'm starting to feel 0:01:06.120 --> 0:01:10.400 that where I'm like, today needs to fucking end. It's 0:01:10.440 --> 0:01:12.720 been a rough one. But then you look back and 0:01:12.760 --> 0:01:16.759 you're like, oh my gosh, everyone's getting older. Kids are 0:01:16.760 --> 0:01:20.720 getting older. Like Ocean can now say her ours. She's 0:01:21.480 --> 0:01:24.280 talking to me about things that I did not expect 0:01:24.920 --> 0:01:29.559 and I just can't like ocean. Last year, around this time, 0:01:29.959 --> 0:01:33.000 we had just found out that I was pregnant, and 0:01:33.040 --> 0:01:36.120 we continue to say next year, at this time, you're 0:01:36.160 --> 0:01:38.520 gonna have a you know, three month old, a four 0:01:38.560 --> 0:01:42.039 month old, and it's like, I'm here looking at my 0:01:42.840 --> 0:01:43.559 four month old. 0:01:43.840 --> 0:01:44.560 It's crazy. 0:01:45.040 --> 0:01:49.120 It takes me back. I will never stop obsessing over 0:01:49.240 --> 0:01:51.040 time and how strange it is. 0:01:51.720 --> 0:01:53.120 I don't think about it like you do. 0:01:53.400 --> 0:01:53.960 Neither do I. 0:01:54.560 --> 0:01:56.040 Well, you guys don't think about much. 0:01:56.240 --> 0:01:57.960 Well, Easter and I are kind of peas in a pod. 0:01:58.600 --> 0:02:01.760 I thank god I had got your mind on that, 0:02:01.840 --> 0:02:04.560 because she'll just stew like look at her right now 0:02:05.080 --> 0:02:06.320 or stupid. 0:02:06.520 --> 0:02:08.320 She wasn't even listening to us. 0:02:08.360 --> 0:02:11.640 She's just clicking a wide open weren't you You were stewing? 0:02:11.919 --> 0:02:12.639 And I can tell. 0:02:12.880 --> 0:02:15.120 And then if she doesn't have something to worry about, 0:02:15.520 --> 0:02:17.160 I'm sorry that she's not worrying about. 0:02:18.040 --> 0:02:19.320 Well, I've done that often. 0:02:19.360 --> 0:02:21.440 You'll come in and you're like, I am worried and 0:02:21.480 --> 0:02:23.680 I don't know, like I feel like I'm missing something, 0:02:23.720 --> 0:02:24.640 and it's like you're not. 0:02:24.800 --> 0:02:26.560 You just don't need to be worried right now. 0:02:26.960 --> 0:02:30.560 Yeah, Like, when I'm not stressed out about my day 0:02:30.600 --> 0:02:34.480 looking at like what needs to be done, I'm so 0:02:34.720 --> 0:02:38.440 confused and start stressing about that, Like I will sit 0:02:38.520 --> 0:02:42.280 there in bed at night and be like, oh my gosh, 0:02:42.440 --> 0:02:45.560 one day my mom's not going to be here. Oh 0:02:45.600 --> 0:02:48.280 my god, I can't. I can't do it. Okay, well 0:02:48.320 --> 0:02:50.400 Easton could be with me. But what if he dies 0:02:50.440 --> 0:02:52.000 before I die? Then what am I going to do? 0:02:52.040 --> 0:02:54.040 And then I start thinking about like, oh my gosh, 0:02:54.080 --> 0:02:56.840 when I talk to my business manager, my mom listens 0:02:56.880 --> 0:03:00.000 in and she breaks down everything because numbers are foreign 0:03:00.080 --> 0:03:02.280 to me. But okay, I'll still have my business manager. 0:03:02.320 --> 0:03:04.120 Oh wait, if my mom's gone, my business manager is 0:03:04.120 --> 0:03:06.239 probably gonna be gone too. Who's gonna break this down 0:03:06.240 --> 0:03:08.560 for me? I guess I have land in Like I 0:03:08.760 --> 0:03:10.079 go into a full spiral. 0:03:10.560 --> 0:03:12.639 Don't laugh, You're cute. 0:03:13.120 --> 0:03:14.799 You're cute. 0:03:15.160 --> 0:03:17.399 You don't have to worry. Quit worrying about it. 0:03:17.680 --> 0:03:19.360 Well I do, And actually it's. 0:03:19.200 --> 0:03:20.720 Gonna take years off your life. 0:03:20.880 --> 0:03:21.240 No I know. 0:03:21.280 --> 0:03:23.840 I'm like, the stress will kill me before anything else. 0:03:24.040 --> 0:03:28.200 But in all of these thought processes, I'm like, I 0:03:28.240 --> 0:03:32.520 cannot be the only one who going into the new year, 0:03:32.880 --> 0:03:35.800 wants to leave things behind in twenty twenty four, and 0:03:35.400 --> 0:03:39.400 I'm I'm not big on New Year's resolutions because I 0:03:39.680 --> 0:03:43.040 just find them to be fleeting, like everyone usually makes 0:03:43.040 --> 0:03:45.720 the same one. It's like I'm gonna start working out 0:03:46.200 --> 0:03:50.320 in the new year and then or eating healthy exactly, 0:03:50.400 --> 0:03:52.480 and then like it lasts for a little bit and 0:03:52.520 --> 0:03:54.480 then you kind of just give up on it because 0:03:54.640 --> 0:03:57.440 life starts happening again and you feel like you're kind 0:03:57.440 --> 0:04:00.760 of in the rut. So I want to focus on 0:04:01.880 --> 0:04:06.520 what we're excited about leaving behind in twenty twenty four 0:04:08.000 --> 0:04:12.840 and manifestations in twenty twenty five. So I'm gonna call 0:04:12.880 --> 0:04:15.200 it instead of like a New Year's resolution, what are 0:04:15.200 --> 0:04:17.960 we manifesting? What are we gonna miss in twenty twenty four? 0:04:18.040 --> 0:04:21.120 What are we excited about leaving behind in twenty twenty four? 0:04:21.560 --> 0:04:25.240 And then what are we manifesting? Because we've talked a 0:04:25.240 --> 0:04:27.440 lot about this when we had kelty On is really 0:04:27.440 --> 0:04:29.120 when I was like, you know what, I'm gonna do 0:04:29.200 --> 0:04:31.400 the vision board and Easton and I still need to 0:04:31.440 --> 0:04:35.479 do it because I am going to have something that 0:04:35.520 --> 0:04:38.840 I can visually see to go you know what, this 0:04:38.960 --> 0:04:42.159 is happening something that I can that will penetrate all 0:04:42.240 --> 0:04:45.280 of my senses. You know what I'm are you okay, 0:04:45.360 --> 0:04:46.640 what are you thinking about? 0:04:46.760 --> 0:04:49.880 I'm thinking about? Uh, I don't know. 0:04:52.160 --> 0:04:54.680 I think you're thinking about like, I don't think that way. 0:04:56.160 --> 0:04:58.200 You're like, this all seems like a lot to be in. 0:04:58.120 --> 0:05:01.560 Your mind, really though, I'm over here, like I'm. 0:05:01.360 --> 0:05:02.880 Thinking what I want to leave behind. 0:05:02.960 --> 0:05:04.640 I don't want to leave anything behind. 0:05:05.000 --> 0:05:08.239 I like how my my life is in the present moment. 0:05:08.480 --> 0:05:10.359 But do you realize how amazing that is? 0:05:11.120 --> 0:05:13.360 No, I'm very blessed to be able to say there 0:05:13.440 --> 0:05:16.760 is nothing that I want to leave in twenty twenty 0:05:16.760 --> 0:05:20.200 four for twenty twenty five, Like, there wasn't bad relationships, 0:05:20.240 --> 0:05:21.479 I didn't lose friends. 0:05:21.800 --> 0:05:24.280 There's nothing that I well that makes just you here 0:05:24.480 --> 0:05:25.440 and maybe mom. 0:05:26.360 --> 0:05:29.039 I just don't look back. I'm just not that kind 0:05:29.040 --> 0:05:29.440 of person. 0:05:29.800 --> 0:05:31.640 I don't either. If it happened, it happened. 0:05:31.839 --> 0:05:33.359 Yeah, you're like, I don't need to leave it in 0:05:33.400 --> 0:05:36.200 twenty twenty four. I literally left it behind that day. 0:05:36.360 --> 0:05:38.520 Yeah, that second moment. 0:05:38.200 --> 0:05:41.080 With my car, keys and my wallet and everything else. 0:05:41.160 --> 0:05:46.240 Everything just gets left behind. So when I ask you, 0:05:46.279 --> 0:05:51.720 what are you excited about leaving behind you literally have nothing. No, wow, 0:05:51.920 --> 0:05:53.400 I'm so jealous. 0:05:53.600 --> 0:05:57.480 Yeah, what would you? Maybe you will give me something 0:05:57.520 --> 0:05:59.760 that I could think about. So what are you excited 0:05:59.760 --> 0:05:59.880 to me? 0:06:00.920 --> 0:06:03.159 I'm excited to leave vander pump Roules behind. 0:06:03.560 --> 0:06:05.560 Okay, I'm not on that boat. 0:06:05.760 --> 0:06:08.520 So I'm happy for you that I don't have to 0:06:08.560 --> 0:06:10.440 like pick you up, me and mom. 0:06:11.279 --> 0:06:14.000 From from filming and getting in the car and. 0:06:14.000 --> 0:06:17.839 Just like it. Yeah, I guess that. Yeah, see there's 0:06:17.880 --> 0:06:18.880 little things and mean. 0:06:18.800 --> 0:06:20.799 What mom's doings. 0:06:21.000 --> 0:06:23.640 Yeah, like you were never present with us, Like we 0:06:23.640 --> 0:06:25.599 would all be having fun and laughing and then you 0:06:25.600 --> 0:06:26.880 would just be sitting in the front. 0:06:27.160 --> 0:06:30.240 Do you feel like that's how it was for most 0:06:30.279 --> 0:06:32.600 of the time that I filmed that show or just 0:06:33.480 --> 0:06:34.400 mostly you. 0:06:34.400 --> 0:06:38.479 Were in like good with everybody. You were always thinking 0:06:38.560 --> 0:06:42.280 about something on the show. Yeah, you were never present 0:06:42.520 --> 0:06:45.360 or you were on your phone to research something or 0:06:45.400 --> 0:06:48.240 to do something or to post with the people. 0:06:48.000 --> 0:06:52.080 That you were all friends with. Me, you always elsewhere while. 0:06:51.880 --> 0:06:54.839 Filming mentally, yes, yeah, matter if you were good or 0:06:54.960 --> 0:06:56.560 in the back, you were always off. 0:06:56.800 --> 0:06:57.000 Yeah. 0:06:57.080 --> 0:07:01.440 Yeah, yeah, no, I think and I don't mean that 0:07:01.560 --> 0:07:04.240 I'm excited that It's like, like, I don't want to 0:07:04.279 --> 0:07:05.760 come off as ungrateful. 0:07:05.920 --> 0:07:08.760 You're excited that that chapter or that book is closed 0:07:08.760 --> 0:07:11.480 and another one is being ready to be written. 0:07:11.680 --> 0:07:16.080 One hundred percent. I think I look at twenty twenty four, 0:07:16.760 --> 0:07:19.880 and I've spoken about this before, where the happiest time 0:07:19.920 --> 0:07:23.840 of my life because all I wanted was a second baby, 0:07:24.360 --> 0:07:29.840 and that happened in twenty twenty four. Yet the hardest 0:07:29.880 --> 0:07:33.960 time of my life on vander Pump Rules was they 0:07:34.000 --> 0:07:37.320 were happening all at once, and I think I'm I'm 0:07:37.400 --> 0:07:41.000 grateful for the fact that we are and we're all 0:07:41.040 --> 0:07:44.080 living together at that point in time, because you guys 0:07:44.120 --> 0:07:48.480 really helped me mentally check out from the outside world 0:07:48.520 --> 0:07:52.800 to really enjoy my pregnancy with Sosa. So I would 0:07:52.800 --> 0:07:57.040 say the best things came out of twenty twenty four. 0:07:57.120 --> 0:08:00.560 I was able to practice something different where I said, 0:08:00.560 --> 0:08:05.240 you know what, I'm not allowing toxicity into my environment 0:08:06.120 --> 0:08:09.520 during this pregnancy. I will not be stressed. I will 0:08:09.600 --> 0:08:13.680 not feel shame or guilt. If anyone brings me anything 0:08:13.880 --> 0:08:19.400 shy of pure peace, You're fucking done. It ends now, 0:08:19.840 --> 0:08:22.520 And that's usually not how I am. I sit there 0:08:22.680 --> 0:08:25.000 and like sit with my thoughts at all times, not 0:08:25.040 --> 0:08:27.880 saying I didn't purge onto you guys a lot. I obsessed. 0:08:28.120 --> 0:08:31.200 I guess what we had the most of what belly laughs. 0:08:31.600 --> 0:08:36.800 I talked about this with Teresa. Judice Sosa is truly 0:08:37.040 --> 0:08:42.000 a dream baby. She is all smiles with just her 0:08:42.080 --> 0:08:49.040 gums so cheesy, plump and just happy. What how I 0:08:49.120 --> 0:08:51.320 explain her is she is just happy to be here. 0:08:51.400 --> 0:08:53.560 She is, Yeah, she really is. 0:08:54.320 --> 0:08:59.199 She's great. Yeah she's and she's. 0:08:57.679 --> 0:09:03.000 Found her voice. She's talking away, she's rolling over. Tummy time, 0:09:03.360 --> 0:09:07.080 she does tummy time like her. My most favorite thing 0:09:07.120 --> 0:09:09.560 that she does right now, you guys. The only time 0:09:09.640 --> 0:09:13.400 she screams bloody murder, and I always know is if 0:09:13.480 --> 0:09:16.520 she has fully blown out her diaper and she's hungry. 0:09:17.040 --> 0:09:18.120 But even when she's. 0:09:18.000 --> 0:09:20.280 Hungry, she's hungry. She doesn't like scream or cry. She 0:09:20.280 --> 0:09:27.840 goes out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0:09:25.840 --> 0:09:27.600 I know the feeling. I know her pain. 0:09:29.000 --> 0:09:32.920 She always tired, always tired and hungry. 0:09:33.000 --> 0:09:36.319 I want to go. Yeah, we'll let you. 0:09:36.760 --> 0:09:39.920 It's fine, crooked hat, stuff around your mouth, and it 0:09:40.000 --> 0:09:42.920 would just all work together, flawlessly. 0:09:43.040 --> 0:09:52.520 Come into this world the same way you leave it. 0:09:52.760 --> 0:09:55.720 Lisa Renna made a pretty penny off of her depends ads. 0:09:55.760 --> 0:09:56.760 Well she rocked him. 0:09:56.800 --> 0:09:59.400 Well, oh yeah, I think you could pull off in 0:09:59.480 --> 0:10:01.280 that little I don't want to depend. 0:10:01.600 --> 0:10:03.240 Sorry, I don't want to go there. 0:10:03.920 --> 0:10:07.480 I see a giant depends in the garden, I will 0:10:07.480 --> 0:10:08.040 be moving out. 0:10:08.800 --> 0:10:12.280 There was one time, you guys, when I was super 0:10:12.360 --> 0:10:14.440 fucked up and it was my birthday and we went 0:10:14.480 --> 0:10:17.319 to Laughlin, which is like I think in Nevada. It's 0:10:17.320 --> 0:10:20.520 a huge river and you have river houses and then 0:10:20.559 --> 0:10:23.480 you take floaties up and you float down to where 0:10:23.520 --> 0:10:28.000 your house is. And someone bought depends to be like, oh, 0:10:28.080 --> 0:10:30.439 you're old now or whatever. Actually I think it was 0:10:30.480 --> 0:10:32.640 the guy was fucking it was his birthday and they 0:10:32.679 --> 0:10:36.080 got him depends. That makes more sense. Sorry, mom. Yes, 0:10:36.240 --> 0:10:39.000 back in the day, used to have sex. Not anymore. 0:10:40.160 --> 0:10:44.880 Fuck but my best friend Danny and I put them 0:10:44.920 --> 0:10:47.640 on to see if they actually worked, and you can 0:10:47.679 --> 0:10:50.480 absolutely pee in them a lot and be totally fine. 0:10:50.520 --> 0:10:52.960 We'll look at the Housewives of New York. 0:10:53.160 --> 0:10:56.400 But Sonya Sony Morgan where it depends on the plane 0:10:56.679 --> 0:10:58.160 and she lets him hang out of her jeans. She 0:10:58.160 --> 0:11:00.559 doesn't even care, No, she didn't care at all. I 0:11:00.559 --> 0:11:01.160 think what. 0:11:01.120 --> 0:11:02.320 Lets herself on the plane. 0:11:02.440 --> 0:11:04.360 Yeah, she'd rather do that than get up and use 0:11:04.400 --> 0:11:06.280 the airplane bathroom. 0:11:06.280 --> 0:11:10.199 I'd rather squat over that do my best to get 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:13.320 it in than to sit in my own urine and then. 0:11:13.200 --> 0:11:17.679 To walk through out ever and get it. Uber depends 0:11:17.720 --> 0:11:19.800 on she's just ubering. 0:11:19.920 --> 0:11:22.240 It depends just full of liquid. 0:11:22.360 --> 0:11:23.360 Let's not talk about it. 0:11:23.520 --> 0:11:26.160 Yeah, I don't know if I should give a trigger 0:11:26.240 --> 0:11:29.080 warning before this. How did we get onto this? 0:11:29.320 --> 0:11:31.480 Because you come into the world as you leave the world. 0:11:31.880 --> 0:11:33.040 That's right, it depends. 0:11:33.280 --> 0:11:37.479 That's right, and now it depends and now because. 0:11:37.240 --> 0:11:40.040 You depend on them. 0:11:40.360 --> 0:11:42.680 Oh, we got onto it because of my baby that 0:11:42.720 --> 0:11:44.720 she was the most special thing to come out of 0:11:44.840 --> 0:11:48.480 twenty twenty four. What I want to go into twenty 0:11:48.559 --> 0:11:53.920 twenty five with I cannot even tell you because I 0:11:54.040 --> 0:11:57.239 feel like in twenty twenty four, even though I'm excited 0:11:57.280 --> 0:12:01.080 to leave a specific thing behind, I had the best 0:12:01.120 --> 0:12:05.000 freaking year. I had so much fun. So I think 0:12:05.040 --> 0:12:08.480 in twenty twenty five, all I'm going to hope for 0:12:09.000 --> 0:12:14.480 is health for myself, my kids, my family, and just 0:12:15.120 --> 0:12:18.200 so many belly laughs. I want to have belly laughs 0:12:18.400 --> 0:12:20.160 the same way I did in twenty twenty four. 0:12:20.280 --> 0:12:21.160 Health and happiness. 0:12:21.280 --> 0:12:24.320 Health and happiness is all I'm wishing for in the 0:12:24.360 --> 0:12:33.400 new year. I asked my friends on Instagram what they're 0:12:33.760 --> 0:12:36.760 hoping for this year, and I actually really because I 0:12:36.800 --> 0:12:37.880 think they're very relatable. 0:12:38.000 --> 0:12:39.360 Yeah, read them so I can steal some. 0:12:39.920 --> 0:12:45.200 Okay, So this person said no more PPD slash PPA. 0:12:45.360 --> 0:12:49.920 So that's postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety. And Sheena Shay 0:12:50.000 --> 0:12:53.720 has spoken about this a lot because she struggles or 0:12:53.760 --> 0:12:56.360 struggled with the same thing with Summer Moon. I think 0:12:56.400 --> 0:13:00.920 it's gotten better, but she still goes he's a therapist, 0:13:01.160 --> 0:13:04.520 but she said struggled really bad after my son was 0:13:04.559 --> 0:13:09.280 born also on nine to three, tried to enjoy. So 0:13:09.320 --> 0:13:13.319 she's four months in and I feel like when you're 0:13:13.360 --> 0:13:17.200 struggling with something like that, I think going into twenty 0:13:17.240 --> 0:13:20.360 twenty five. And again I'm not a doctor, and I'm 0:13:20.360 --> 0:13:24.160 not trying to give this person advice, but to make 0:13:24.200 --> 0:13:27.599 a mental note that when you're going through the depression 0:13:27.679 --> 0:13:30.480 or the anxiety, you have to reach out to someone. 0:13:30.840 --> 0:13:33.319 And I think it's very important to have a doctor 0:13:33.360 --> 0:13:36.560 on call who can if you have to be on medication, 0:13:36.760 --> 0:13:38.200 like take advantage of science. 0:13:39.000 --> 0:13:41.840 I well, I had postponum depression with both of you, 0:13:42.679 --> 0:13:45.480 and I can totally relate. I think you need to 0:13:45.520 --> 0:13:48.760 share with people how you're feeling. Guess what I'm expressive 0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:51.760 with it, like tell him you're struggling today, and then 0:13:51.880 --> 0:13:53.880 maybe that Frank can get you out of the house 0:13:54.000 --> 0:13:54.960 or get a plan. 0:13:55.120 --> 0:13:59.800 Sometimes a little conversation like I I'll say, because it 0:13:59.920 --> 0:14:05.720 was August sixth I'm leaving liquor in twenty twenty four. 0:14:06.600 --> 0:14:06.880 Wow. 0:14:07.040 --> 0:14:12.880 Yes, because my mental state now right is incredible. 0:14:13.559 --> 0:14:17.720 So let me ask you something Easton, because that's going 0:14:17.760 --> 0:14:20.400 to be a shock for people to hear because we 0:14:20.480 --> 0:14:23.960 did this podcast and we actually spoke about how you 0:14:24.120 --> 0:14:26.640 have not had a drink in quite some time. Yes, 0:14:26.840 --> 0:14:29.680 So to say now on this podcast that you're leaving 0:14:29.720 --> 0:14:31.119 liquor behind because. 0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:32.040 I did this, I did. 0:14:31.880 --> 0:14:35.760 Six months at the very beginning, very beginning, okay. 0:14:35.440 --> 0:14:38.400 And then after that six months, I was like, Okay, 0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:41.280 I feel okay, and then I did start. 0:14:41.120 --> 0:14:45.200 Drinking unbeknownst to us, unowns to you guys. Yes, and 0:14:45.400 --> 0:14:48.120 I'm an alcoholic. I'm not ashamed to say it. If 0:14:48.200 --> 0:14:48.560 you are. 0:14:48.680 --> 0:14:51.680 This is where Oh, there's there's some people talking about this, 0:14:51.720 --> 0:14:52.640 so I love it every. 0:14:52.760 --> 0:14:53.960 No I was an alcoholic. 0:14:53.960 --> 0:14:57.680 There were things that I was doing because I have 0:14:57.800 --> 0:15:00.920 demons and it's not up to anybody but me, and 0:15:01.000 --> 0:15:07.000 those demons were tamed by a sponsor that I have 0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:10.760 who any time I feel very out of place mentally, 0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:14.760 not even feeling like I need a drink, I talked 0:15:14.800 --> 0:15:18.240 to him in like two minutes of that conversation. It's 0:15:18.280 --> 0:15:21.440 almost like therapy that I got out of my own head. 0:15:22.200 --> 0:15:27.080 And so since August sixth, I've been sober, no marijuana. 0:15:26.560 --> 0:15:28.720 Nothing, thank you. 0:15:28.880 --> 0:15:30.640 And the one thing that I really will say and 0:15:30.680 --> 0:15:33.160 I could cry about it is like I was so 0:15:33.360 --> 0:15:37.520 fucked up mentally and I didn't know why, and after 0:15:37.560 --> 0:15:42.160 I found sobriety, like my feelings I now know are 0:15:42.240 --> 0:15:46.400 vallet talking to people is the best thing that I've 0:15:46.480 --> 0:15:51.440 ever done, and being honest about it. But being able 0:15:51.440 --> 0:15:54.720 to say leaving liquor in twenty twenty four and having 0:15:54.880 --> 0:16:01.120 the mental thing like just having a mental has been amazing, 0:16:01.320 --> 0:16:06.200 and being able to feel stressed and feel anxiety. I 0:16:06.240 --> 0:16:10.320 am medicated, and I thank God that I was sober 0:16:10.560 --> 0:16:13.440 to go and get medicated so I could be honest 0:16:13.480 --> 0:16:17.560 about it and I'm now on two meds for sleeping 0:16:17.600 --> 0:16:22.000 and anxiety and I need them and I talked honestly 0:16:22.040 --> 0:16:24.520 about it. And that's the one thing that just all 0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:27.920 of this has brought me is I now know who 0:16:27.960 --> 0:16:31.360 I am. My feelings now are valid to me. I 0:16:31.400 --> 0:16:33.600 don't care if they're valid to anyone else, but now 0:16:33.600 --> 0:16:35.760 I'm honest to myself and it. 0:16:35.840 --> 0:16:40.280 Just feels very very good. Aunt tea thank you, no, 0:16:40.480 --> 0:16:43.000 thank you moment. But yeah, no, I struggled. 0:16:43.160 --> 0:16:48.200 I you know, I was always an alcoholic, but it 0:16:48.360 --> 0:16:50.480 really kicked up when I lost Dad. 0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:53.920 Yeah, and then there's just little things that like will 0:16:54.040 --> 0:16:59.360 crumble me. And that's where that phone call really saves me. 0:16:59.680 --> 0:16:59.880 Yeah. 0:17:00.320 --> 0:17:01.920 So that's beautiful. 0:17:02.600 --> 0:17:05.280 So yes, very proud to say that I'm happy to 0:17:05.400 --> 0:17:09.399 leave just all of that in twenty twenty four and 0:17:09.840 --> 0:17:13.720 enter twenty twenty five with a healthy mental state of mind. 0:17:13.720 --> 0:17:17.280 I love that, Yes, no, and I absolutely love it. 0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:20.800 And I think you guys for being able to deal 0:17:20.880 --> 0:17:23.040 with the bullshit that I put you through one and 0:17:23.160 --> 0:17:25.159 number two just being there for me through all of 0:17:25.240 --> 0:17:27.760 this and being the biggest support that I have. 0:17:27.960 --> 0:17:28.640 So thank you, guys. 0:17:29.280 --> 0:17:32.800 Yes, We've got you always in forever. Yes, That's one 0:17:32.960 --> 0:17:38.679 thing that I love about the family that I've been 0:17:38.760 --> 0:17:42.920 blessed with is we will drop everything for each other. 0:17:44.080 --> 0:17:46.040 We're not far away from each other. 0:17:46.359 --> 0:17:47.280 I don't want to be there. 0:17:47.400 --> 0:17:47.960 I don't either. 0:17:48.560 --> 0:17:49.120 I don't either. 0:17:49.320 --> 0:17:49.480 Really. 0:17:50.359 --> 0:17:55.359 Yeah, Like, I really wish that everybody could experience this 0:17:55.560 --> 0:17:59.359 family dynamic, because it really is next to none. 0:17:59.720 --> 0:18:00.959 I feel so blessed. 0:18:01.080 --> 0:18:03.440 No, I really do to like and to see like 0:18:03.600 --> 0:18:07.200 landon our you know, our pod, to see his mom 0:18:07.280 --> 0:18:09.600 who doesn't live here, but to see her and talk 0:18:09.680 --> 0:18:13.600 to us like how he feels so close and connected, 0:18:13.680 --> 0:18:16.000 and how we have made like made him part of 0:18:16.119 --> 0:18:18.760 our family. And that's it just as special. And I 0:18:18.800 --> 0:18:22.359 wish people could, you know, receive the love and the 0:18:22.440 --> 0:18:23.600 support that you guys give me. 0:18:23.680 --> 0:18:25.520 It really is well and vice versa. 0:18:26.000 --> 0:18:30.200 One hundred percent. You are You're the brightest light in 0:18:30.320 --> 0:18:35.520 this family. And I think that sobriety has I think 0:18:35.800 --> 0:18:39.160 when you started going down the road of drinking again, 0:18:39.240 --> 0:18:42.080 I could tell that your light was being dimmed, and 0:18:42.720 --> 0:18:47.480 sobriety has made you brighter than you have ever been. 0:18:47.680 --> 0:18:50.840 I'm so inspired by you. I'm so proud of you. 0:18:51.080 --> 0:18:53.480 Well I was, I got it from you, So thank you. 0:18:53.640 --> 0:18:55.400 Well you cheers don't go unnoticed. 0:18:55.600 --> 0:19:01.800 You You have lived by the pro that is not easy. 0:19:02.160 --> 0:19:05.400 There are moments that I look at you and think 0:19:05.600 --> 0:19:08.040 I need to do better. So it's very important that 0:19:08.119 --> 0:19:11.360 you are an excellent representation of that program. 0:19:11.640 --> 0:19:14.000 Well, thank you, and I strive for it and it's 0:19:14.119 --> 0:19:16.240 become a higher power for me. I love it. 0:19:16.520 --> 0:19:19.280 So we know what Easan's leaving behind in twenty twenty four. 0:19:19.560 --> 0:19:21.680 Yeah, so there's that. So I'm leaving that behind it 0:19:21.800 --> 0:19:24.440 that's going to help a lot of people. I hope 0:19:24.480 --> 0:19:27.240 it does. And I just really hope that just call 0:19:27.359 --> 0:19:29.720 somebody it fucking helps. It does. 0:19:30.080 --> 0:19:33.600 Yeah, And just being honest and it's crazy when you're 0:19:33.640 --> 0:19:38.560 honest with somebody and you're the honesty, they will give 0:19:38.680 --> 0:19:42.440 you back. And to know that you're not alone, Like 0:19:42.520 --> 0:19:44.359 there's so many things that I thought I was alone 0:19:44.440 --> 0:19:47.240 on Yeah, and just talking to this person that I 0:19:47.320 --> 0:19:51.240 didn't even maybe trust enough, but I needed it off 0:19:51.320 --> 0:19:55.440 of me and then to hear him just relate and 0:19:55.680 --> 0:19:59.159 even worse things and it's like, damn, I'm not alone. 0:19:59.480 --> 0:20:02.840 We're in this together and now I have you. I 0:20:03.000 --> 0:20:04.840 love it, and it really no, it's amazing. 0:20:04.960 --> 0:20:08.320 So and it's yours and it's mine, it's all yours. 0:20:09.680 --> 0:20:14.440 Manifesting progress with mental health, journey and relationships. I think 0:20:14.480 --> 0:20:16.880 that that's the best way to go about twenty twenty five. 0:20:16.920 --> 0:20:20.040 If you can just say I want a healthy mental 0:20:20.119 --> 0:20:23.520 state and I want good people around me, that is 0:20:23.600 --> 0:20:26.480 a great way to enter twenty twenty five. Leaving behind 0:20:26.560 --> 0:20:30.800 drama and those not rooted in my life positively so important. 0:20:30.840 --> 0:20:32.639 I'm such a fan of burning the bridge. 0:20:33.000 --> 0:20:34.000 Well you know what I like. 0:20:34.160 --> 0:20:37.160 Well, if it's already yeah, burn it down. 0:20:37.320 --> 0:20:38.560 What'd you say, mom Ice? 0:20:38.600 --> 0:20:41.520 Look at friends like cleaning out my closet. They don't 0:20:41.560 --> 0:20:43.600 add to my world. Gotta go, gotta go. 0:20:45.600 --> 0:20:49.240