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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's putting the fun in funeral

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Speaker 1: by offering casket karaoke. Hey saren adr Grandpa one last

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Speaker 1: time by singing his favorite Tupac song, how do You

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Speaker 1: Want It?

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Speaker 2: As he's laid to rest. You love them, you want it? Yeah, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: just don't play the mama's crying at the same time.

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Speaker 2: So sweet.

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Speaker 1: With Laser Stories, this segment where we read weird news

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Speaker 1: stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except

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Speaker 1: we've got a.

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Speaker 2: Laser over the grave. Ravers just don't. This first laser

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Speaker 2: story is out of Georgia.

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Speaker 1: A thirty two year old man named Kaylin Wattley was

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Speaker 1: walking down the street wearing his favorite T shirt that

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Speaker 1: says free hugs on it when out of nowhere, the

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Speaker 1: popo showed up.

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Speaker 2: What they needed a hug. No, maybe I think they

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Speaker 2: actually knew. I think they could really use a hot

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Speaker 2: They might, but that's not why they came.

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Speaker 1: Because Klan was cuffed immediately and officers searched his very

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Speaker 1: large backpack and found exactly what they were looking for,

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Speaker 1: a stolen manhole.

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Speaker 2: Cover like a ninja turtle.

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Speaker 1: It turns out Kaylan didn't just take one or even

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Speaker 1: two or three. Once back at his apartment, deputies found

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Speaker 1: ninety one stolen manhole cover.

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Speaker 2: The floor knock give out? Why heavy?

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Speaker 1: Why?

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Speaker 2: Good question, But it's unclear why he was taking them.

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Speaker 1: But these weren't just the smaller circular ones that you

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Speaker 1: see on urban streets. They're also larger storm drain covers

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Speaker 1: from residential neighborhoods. It's like, if I get enough, then

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Speaker 1: I can open my own storm drain store.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, those are so hot right now. It is possible

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Speaker 2: he was grabbing.

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Speaker 1: Them to maybe sell at scrap yards, but there's probably

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Speaker 1: not a ton of money in that if that's what

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Speaker 1: he was going for. Still, it costs about two hundred

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Speaker 1: dollars to replace each one, and officials loves them, you know, maybe,

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Speaker 1: but you're not allowed to do that. And officials are

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Speaker 1: considering adding locks onto them now, which would add an

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Speaker 1: extra one hundred and eighty bucks.

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Speaker 2: Would brook If you love it, you should take it

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Speaker 2: to the bank and go and take all the money

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Speaker 2: and be like, but I love this stuff.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, But if they replaced all ninety one covers with

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Speaker 1: locks it would cost it'd be about thirty five thousand dollars.

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Speaker 2: Either way.

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Speaker 1: Kaylin has been charged with theft of government property, and

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Speaker 1: investigators say additional charges are likely.

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Speaker 2: His remotive remains unclear because he is not talking weird Okay,

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Speaker 2: I mean good news is they can just go put them.

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Speaker 1: Back right, yeahbe they'll have them back in right, that's

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Speaker 1: the government.

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Speaker 2: They're gonna buy new ones.

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Speaker 1: This next Lazer story is out of candy headquarters. Yea,

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Speaker 1: Halloween is right around the corner, and rest assured that

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Speaker 1: Hershees will not be banned from selling its fun sized candy.

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Speaker 2: Why was that a possibility.

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Speaker 1: I'll say that because last year a woman in Florida

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Speaker 1: named Cynthia Kelly sued her She's for five million dollars,

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Speaker 1: claiming that their pumpkin shape Reese's Peanut Butter cups were

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Speaker 1: falsely advertised. This lady wasn't this the lady who was

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Speaker 1: upset because the faces were on the actual pumpkins.

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Speaker 2: Didn't we talk about this in laser story? We did.

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Speaker 1: We mentioned this the packaging if you've ever seen that

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Speaker 1: shows the pumpkins are supposed to have these cool carved

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Speaker 1: designs and fun faces on them, but in reality there

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Speaker 1: are no faces.

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Speaker 2: That's just a normal flat pumpkin.

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Speaker 1: Lame and that really bothered her.

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Speaker 2: I love those those tastes better.

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Speaker 1: I think the pumpkins are the pumpkins oh so good.

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Speaker 2: And that wasn't the only thing wrong with it.

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Speaker 1: She pointed out that several of their Halloween candies are

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Speaker 1: also less spooky than they appear on the wrapper.

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Speaker 2: Actually, she wanted to open it up and scream. She

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Speaker 2: should have a right to do that.

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Speaker 1: Hey, you know what, eat enough of them and try

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Speaker 1: to put your pants on, and then you're gonna be scared. Well,

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Speaker 1: the court has heard all the arguments, and I'm sure

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Speaker 1: it was super cheap to litigate all this, and they

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Speaker 1: found Cynthia will not be getting a five.

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Speaker 2: Million dollar payout that she thought she'd yet.

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Speaker 1: Did they give her at least like a free pack

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Speaker 1: of them? She doesn't want to. The candies will not

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Speaker 1: be pulled from store shelves either, where they were obviously

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Speaker 1: deceiving America. The judge ruled that the plaintiffs failed to

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Speaker 1: prove any concrete economic injury from this, and the products

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Speaker 1: were not rendered worthless. In other words, they're still tasty

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Speaker 1: and available, or at least the empty wrappers are available

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Speaker 1: over at Brooks desks, So she'll let.

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Speaker 2: You lick the crumbs.

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Speaker 1: Already did that?

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Speaker 2: Oh you did? Ye left? You have to go somewhere.

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Speaker 1: This next Lager story is out of the worlds of words.

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Speaker 1: Miriam Webster has announced a major update for the twelfth

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Speaker 1: addition of their Collegiate Dictionary.

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Speaker 2: Oh good, I already had the first eleven there collecting

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Speaker 2: them all.

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Speaker 1: They are adding more than five thousand new terms, including

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Speaker 1: some interesting ones. The first beast mode let's go, which

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Speaker 1: Merriam Webster defines as quote an extremely aggressive or energetic

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Speaker 1: style or manner that someone adopts temporarily to overpower an opponent.

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Speaker 2: Is trademark that I was going to ask, does this start?

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Speaker 2: I'll start with the football player Marshall on Winch.

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Speaker 1: I think he has a clothing line, is why I asked,

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Speaker 1: Can you sue the dictionary?

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Speaker 2: No, I would sue Merriam Webster. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The next one dad Bob, a physique regarded as typical

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Speaker 1: of an average father, especially one that's slightly.

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Speaker 2: Overweight and not extremely muscular.

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Speaker 1: It's me another word they're adding dumb phone.

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Speaker 2: Oh that's kind of cool.

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Speaker 1: It's like the opposite of smartphones, like your flip phone

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Speaker 1: or whatever. Right, it's any cell phone that included advanced

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Speaker 1: software features like email or Internet that you would typically

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Speaker 1: find on a smartphone. And finally, another term that made

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Speaker 1: it in is hard pass wow yeah, which is a

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Speaker 1: firm refusal or rejection of something such as an offer

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Speaker 1: to hang out with my mom at her party coming out.

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Speaker 2: Hard pass on that? Yeah me too? Yeah, yeah, okay,

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Speaker 2: And when she doesn't understand your response, she can look

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Speaker 2: it up.

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Speaker 1: Now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, there we go. It's in the dictionary for you.

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Speaker 2: Good job, mom. And yeah.

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Speaker 1: If some of these terms seem like maybe they've been

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Speaker 1: around for a while, it's because the last update to

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Speaker 1: the hard copy of the Merriam Webster Collegiate Dictionary was

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Speaker 1: twenty two years ago. Oh wow, so they have a

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Speaker 1: lot of new ground to cover in that time. The

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Speaker 1: new edition will be released on November eighteenth. And if

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Speaker 1: you didn't hear this, guy also submitted a new word,

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Speaker 1: but it didn't get approved Because you've heard of tub thumping. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he wanted pump pumping. I don't really know exactly what

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Speaker 1: that is, so I'm guessing an ass to do with

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Speaker 1: pumping gasoline. That's what I'm gonna go with. I believe

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Speaker 1: in it, and that sound means Laser Stories has come

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Speaker 1: to an end for the day. We'll do it again,

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Speaker 1: same time on Wednesday.

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Speaker 2: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,