1 00:00:01,639 --> 00:00:04,800 Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space. 2 00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:10,080 Speaker 2: Whereas you and I, as grown women, can make that 3 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:15,239 Speaker 2: distinction that oh wait, I am being self conscious right 4 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:20,360 Speaker 2: now about what I'm posting. I have some anxiety around 5 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:26,200 Speaker 2: people's response and engagement with my photos, and we can 6 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:30,840 Speaker 2: easily identify ways to address it and then it not 7 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:35,879 Speaker 2: affect our overall mental health. What I'm concerned about is 8 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:38,680 Speaker 2: the younger generation gen Z, that, like I said, does 9 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:42,599 Speaker 2: not know a life without social medium, how their mental 10 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:48,760 Speaker 2: health is being significantly affected by engagement and social media. 11 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:54,520 Speaker 1: Today's episode is sure to provides you with motivation, inspiration, 12 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:58,720 Speaker 1: or a fresh perspective. If you have any AHA moments 13 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 1: or appreciate anything from this episode, please leave us a 14 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:05,559 Speaker 1: review to let us know we're on the right track. Also, 15 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:10,000 Speaker 1: we release episodes every Friday, so be sure to subscribe 16 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:14,800 Speaker 1: on iTunes and visit cultivatingheirspace dot com to access our 17 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:19,399 Speaker 1: exclusive after show and other bonus content from the Patreon tab. 18 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:25,520 Speaker 2: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting 19 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:26,240 Speaker 2: women like you. 20 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,040 Speaker 1: We're your hosts. 21 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:32,880 Speaker 2: Doctor Dominique Bussard, a college professor and psychologist. 22 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:36,520 Speaker 1: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker in a 23 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:41,520 Speaker 1: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood. Please 24 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:46,360 Speaker 1: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from 25 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:49,720 Speaker 1: fibroids to fake friends and create a safe space where 26 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:50,840 Speaker 1: black women can just. 27 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:58,360 Speaker 2: Be Hey, lady, is doctor Dom here from the Cultivating 28 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:02,320 Speaker 2: her Space podcast? Are you currently a resident of the 29 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:07,520 Speaker 2: state of California and contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, 30 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:11,760 Speaker 2: if so, please reach out to me at doctor Dominique 31 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:16,600 Speaker 2: Brusard dot com. That's d R D O M I 32 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:22,200 Speaker 2: N I q U E B R O U S 33 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:26,400 Speaker 2: s A r D dot com to schedule a free 34 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:30,960 Speaker 2: fifteen minute consultation. I look forward to hearing from you. 35 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:36,400 Speaker 2: All right, lady, So today is a special day, not 36 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:40,720 Speaker 2: because we have a special guest, but because you got 37 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,519 Speaker 2: doctor Dom and T on the mic. 38 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:47,280 Speaker 1: Doing well for Hey girl, Hey girl. 39 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:54,079 Speaker 2: All right, so our quote of the day. You don't 40 00:02:54,120 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 2: have to post it to prove it. T. Yeah, you know, 41 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:04,799 Speaker 2: we were having our conversation offline about this quote. Yes, 42 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 2: so I'm a toss it to you and get your 43 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,680 Speaker 2: thoughts on it first, and then and then I'm a 44 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:13,160 Speaker 2: dive in. 45 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:18,440 Speaker 1: Oh don beg okay, you send me up Okay, okay. 46 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:21,640 Speaker 1: So when I think about this quote, right, you don't 47 00:03:21,639 --> 00:03:23,920 Speaker 1: have to post it to prove it, I would say 48 00:03:23,919 --> 00:03:30,240 Speaker 1: that overall, I do agree with it for the most part. However, 49 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:34,480 Speaker 1: I'm thinking about social media as a business owner, and 50 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:36,840 Speaker 1: one of the personal things that I often feel conflicted 51 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:41,280 Speaker 1: about is when and what to post as far as 52 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:44,120 Speaker 1: the content. So I know, you know, as a business owner, 53 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:46,160 Speaker 1: you want to post testimonials, right, like you want to 54 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:49,320 Speaker 1: let people know that, hey, like I do this work, 55 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:52,240 Speaker 1: you know, Like even me, now don you know, had 56 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:55,120 Speaker 1: the baby. I was kind of, like I want to say, 57 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:56,880 Speaker 1: on a little hiatus, and now that I'm kind of 58 00:03:56,880 --> 00:04:00,520 Speaker 1: getting back into the career more so now that I'm 59 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 1: in a routine, I feel like, in some ways there's 60 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:04,920 Speaker 1: a little bit of proving I have to do because 61 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:06,640 Speaker 1: I've kind of been like out of season for a while, 62 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:08,680 Speaker 1: you know, so like letting people know, like, hey, y'all 63 00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:11,280 Speaker 1: you can hire me first speaking engagement, I'll be speaking 64 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:13,880 Speaker 1: right like, I does this, I do this, I did 65 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,760 Speaker 1: this very well before I had my child, and now 66 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:20,039 Speaker 1: I kind of have to refresh everyone's memory on like 67 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:21,680 Speaker 1: this is what I do so in some ways, I 68 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:24,159 Speaker 1: feel like it is important to post to prove. And 69 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:27,440 Speaker 1: I don't necessarily like it because I don't want to 70 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:29,560 Speaker 1: have to prove anything. But sometimes I do feel like 71 00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:33,479 Speaker 1: it is a necessity on social media in this visual 72 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:35,839 Speaker 1: world that we're in. What do you think got to dom? 73 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:37,440 Speaker 2: All? 74 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:37,760 Speaker 1: Right? 75 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:43,320 Speaker 2: So, yes, that is an incredibly valid point, right that. 76 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:47,520 Speaker 2: From a business perspective, when you were trying to market 77 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:53,160 Speaker 2: something or sell something, yeah, you have to prove it. 78 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:55,760 Speaker 2: You have to post it to prove it. Right. A 79 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:58,880 Speaker 2: lot of times that's where we go, right, Like we 80 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,600 Speaker 2: go to social media when we're looking for a business. 81 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:08,200 Speaker 2: We go to Google, Reviews, Yelp, like all the different 82 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:11,119 Speaker 2: their social media is to see one, does this person 83 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:13,040 Speaker 2: that I don't know, over this business that I'm not 84 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:17,720 Speaker 2: familiar with, does it really exist? Right? Well, this person, 85 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:23,280 Speaker 2: this coach said that they could make me half a 86 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:27,120 Speaker 2: million dollars in a month. I want to go on 87 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,880 Speaker 2: the Instagram and see the receipts, right, I want to 88 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:32,839 Speaker 2: see I want to go on their website and see 89 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:39,200 Speaker 2: the testimonials. So you're right on that. From that perspective, yes, 90 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,320 Speaker 2: I do think that you do have to post it. 91 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:47,320 Speaker 2: To prove it in that realm, right, from a business perspective, 92 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:51,679 Speaker 2: But I think when it comes to our personal lives, 93 00:05:53,600 --> 00:06:02,000 Speaker 2: I don't agree with posting to prove, right. I think 94 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:08,280 Speaker 2: that in my personal life, I don't have to post 95 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:12,040 Speaker 2: when I went on this fabulous vacation for people to 96 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:15,400 Speaker 2: know that I went on a fabulous vacation. And half 97 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:17,320 Speaker 2: the time, I don't know if I necessarily want you 98 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:20,160 Speaker 2: to know that I went on vacation, right if you're 99 00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:23,080 Speaker 2: not in my close circle. But I also know that 100 00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:28,120 Speaker 2: that's how I operate. And I also wonder too now 101 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 2: that we're like diving into this quote and like the 102 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:35,360 Speaker 2: idea of like social media and the anxiety that people get. 103 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:39,720 Speaker 2: I often think that it's also kind of a generational 104 00:06:39,839 --> 00:06:46,039 Speaker 2: thing that I think about Generation X, who were full 105 00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:51,520 Speaker 2: grown adults before social media became a thing. I think 106 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:55,880 Speaker 2: about millennials and how social media has been introduced in 107 00:06:56,240 --> 00:07:00,680 Speaker 2: our lifetime, right, Like I recognize I'm like I heard 108 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:05,000 Speaker 2: somebody call it an elder millennial just based on my age, right, 109 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:09,559 Speaker 2: So there are things that I know a childhood without 110 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:16,360 Speaker 2: social media, I know teenage years forming of social media, right, 111 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:22,320 Speaker 2: And in this current generation Gen Z does not know 112 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:26,800 Speaker 2: a life without social media, does not know a life 113 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:30,360 Speaker 2: outside of or that doesn't know a life without an iPhone. 114 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:36,640 Speaker 2: So I also wonder from a generational perspective, how social 115 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:46,360 Speaker 2: media impacts each generation's anxiety, their perspective on engaging with 116 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:47,200 Speaker 2: social media. 117 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:50,720 Speaker 1: You hit the nail the head with that, Like I 118 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:53,600 Speaker 1: wanted to say, preach okay, because as soon as you 119 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:56,560 Speaker 1: said personal life, I was like, yes, that is spot on. 120 00:07:57,360 --> 00:07:59,480 Speaker 1: I thought about one of the things we talked about 121 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,760 Speaker 1: when we were talking about the businesses, right and you 122 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:06,040 Speaker 1: mentioned YELP, And I think about how there's like different 123 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:09,960 Speaker 1: personal training programs that I signed up for based on 124 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:13,000 Speaker 1: the results, Like I saw the before and after on Instagram. 125 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:15,120 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I'm signing up for this. However, when 126 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:18,920 Speaker 1: I think about like my personal relationship or even you know, 127 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:21,760 Speaker 1: my daughter and her journey, I think about how the 128 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:25,600 Speaker 1: most precious parts of me often remain off social media, 129 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:27,200 Speaker 1: and I prefer to be that way. There's nothing I 130 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,160 Speaker 1: need to prove when it comes to you know, my 131 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:33,079 Speaker 1: relationship or my child, or just certain things like my siblings. 132 00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:35,319 Speaker 1: I typically now keep them off social media because my 133 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:38,160 Speaker 1: brand is grown a lot and I just people are weird, 134 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,439 Speaker 1: you know. I just don't want my stuff all out there. 135 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:42,880 Speaker 1: But what I would love to do though, lady, if 136 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:45,880 Speaker 1: you listen right and you hear us right now, obviously 137 00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:48,280 Speaker 1: you're listening, do what's a favorite Go to our Instagram 138 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:51,120 Speaker 1: at her space podcast. This will be like an insider 139 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:55,040 Speaker 1: for people to listen. We're going to share a lavender square, okay, 140 00:08:55,559 --> 00:08:57,520 Speaker 1: and we're not going to put a caption there because 141 00:08:57,559 --> 00:08:59,280 Speaker 1: what we want you to do on the lavender square 142 00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:01,880 Speaker 1: just find it on Instagram. Let us know what you 143 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,079 Speaker 1: think about the quote of the day. You don't have 144 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,719 Speaker 1: to post it to prove it, Okay, let us know 145 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:08,480 Speaker 1: what you think about that quote. Is it true? Is 146 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:11,040 Speaker 1: it not true? It's the situation and let us know now, Dom, 147 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:15,080 Speaker 1: can we dive into this conversation around social media anxiety 148 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:18,240 Speaker 1: and how it shows up for us? Do you have 149 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:20,679 Speaker 1: social media anxiety? And if so, how does it show 150 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:21,000 Speaker 1: up for you? 151 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:28,240 Speaker 2: Listen? I thought I did, and then it hit me 152 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:33,880 Speaker 2: once recently and I was like, oh, girl, yeah, this 153 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,640 Speaker 2: is why not. Let's get this in check real real quick, 154 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:37,280 Speaker 2: real quick. 155 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:40,160 Speaker 1: Wait, can you tell us the story is your person? 156 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:45,000 Speaker 2: Yes, I I'll share tell us girls, So what what 157 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:49,280 Speaker 2: happened for me was we had our photo shoot right, 158 00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:54,760 Speaker 2: amazing time, amazing time, yes, and posted a couple of 159 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:58,480 Speaker 2: videos of like the day of like the behind the 160 00:09:58,559 --> 00:10:07,880 Speaker 2: scenes right, and I found myself having some anxiety around 161 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:09,880 Speaker 2: or not, I don't know if I would call it anxiety. 162 00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:19,880 Speaker 2: I had anticipation around how people would engage with those videos, right, 163 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:27,280 Speaker 2: and I found myself in this space of checking to 164 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:33,120 Speaker 2: see like who responded, what did they say? How many views, 165 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:38,800 Speaker 2: how many likes? And in that moment when I realized 166 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:42,600 Speaker 2: what was happening, that's when I was like, oh, girl, 167 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:46,079 Speaker 2: let's get this in check real quick. Like me not 168 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,880 Speaker 2: going down this rabbit hole, No, ma'am, we are not. 169 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:52,960 Speaker 2: I will share more about this story when we dive 170 00:10:53,080 --> 00:11:01,599 Speaker 2: into our tips on how to manage social media anxiety, anticipation, expectations, 171 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:02,640 Speaker 2: all of the things. 172 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:07,640 Speaker 1: Woo child, Welcome to my life, baby, because that's me job. 173 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:10,600 Speaker 1: You know, if you're on social media and I'm posting, 174 00:11:10,679 --> 00:11:12,040 Speaker 1: and yes, we're going to dive into that in just 175 00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:14,319 Speaker 1: a bit. But girl, I'm with you. 176 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:20,920 Speaker 3: Te okay, I'm not trying to interrupt the show, but 177 00:11:21,559 --> 00:11:23,679 Speaker 3: I had this random idea I want to share with you, 178 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,040 Speaker 3: and I don't want to forget it. 179 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:26,839 Speaker 1: Tell me, tell me what is it? 180 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:28,200 Speaker 2: Okay? 181 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:33,199 Speaker 3: So you know how at the start of every New Year, Birthday, 182 00:11:33,679 --> 00:11:39,160 Speaker 3: new Moon, anniversary, new month, Knew Anything, people find themselves 183 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:42,320 Speaker 3: wanting to have a reset, but they're not sure where 184 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:42,720 Speaker 3: to start. 185 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:44,880 Speaker 1: I sure do What are you thinking? 186 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:48,599 Speaker 3: What if we hosted a workshop where we could interact 187 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:52,199 Speaker 3: with our listeners to talk about stuff like self care 188 00:11:52,559 --> 00:11:53,440 Speaker 3: and self love. 189 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:56,559 Speaker 1: Oh and gee, and we could even have a session 190 00:11:56,559 --> 00:12:01,480 Speaker 1: about manifestation, leaving toxic relationships and coming our best selves. Girl, 191 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,520 Speaker 1: I am so excited. I'm sold. We could call it 192 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:10,040 Speaker 1: the Vibrate Higher Empowerment Workshop. Yes, yes, that is it. 193 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:16,560 Speaker 3: And we could even host our live quarterly line down 194 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:20,360 Speaker 3: to check in and build community as we vibrate higher 195 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:22,200 Speaker 3: all year. Yo. 196 00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:25,240 Speaker 1: I love it, I love it. I'm sold. Let's do it. 197 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:26,079 Speaker 3: Lady. 198 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:29,480 Speaker 1: If this sounds like fun to you, visit New Year 199 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:32,880 Speaker 1: Workshop dot com and join us for the Vibrate Higher 200 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:37,160 Speaker 1: Empowerment Workshop. If you want to release baggage, set intentions, 201 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:40,080 Speaker 1: and manifest the like you desire, this is just for you, lady. 202 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:43,360 Speaker 3: That's New Year Workshop dot Com. 203 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:51,760 Speaker 1: We can't wait to connect with you now, Lady. You know, 204 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:54,480 Speaker 1: we only interrupt the show for important updates that can 205 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:57,400 Speaker 1: provide you with more value and resources. So today we 206 00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,360 Speaker 1: want to share with you one of our favorite tools 207 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:03,840 Speaker 1: that makes power podcasting remotely super easy. Zincaster provides crystal 208 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:07,760 Speaker 1: clear sound and gorgeous HD video. 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If you visit 215 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:32,240 Speaker 1: zincaster dot com slash pricing and enter promo code DOM 216 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:36,920 Speaker 1: and T, you'll get thirty percent off your first three months. 217 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:42,280 Speaker 1: That's z E n C A S t R dot 218 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:46,839 Speaker 1: com slash pricing promo code d O M A N 219 00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:51,319 Speaker 1: D t EE. All right, let's dive back into the conversation. 220 00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:54,439 Speaker 1: I have so many examples Dom, if any resonate with you, 221 00:13:54,679 --> 00:13:58,079 Speaker 1: let me know, girl. One is I'm just very particular 222 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:01,599 Speaker 1: about what I posto, especially like how I appear in 223 00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:05,120 Speaker 1: images because I think about that, you know, before social 224 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:07,240 Speaker 1: media be king what it is now and back when 225 00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:09,400 Speaker 1: I post pictures back in the day, I wouldn't want 226 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,000 Speaker 1: just like post it whatever. Now I'm like zooming in 227 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:14,679 Speaker 1: all my toes. I'm like cropping stuff out if it 228 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:18,079 Speaker 1: looks funny. Okay, like it's a big deal. Maybe because 229 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,760 Speaker 1: I have a little bit of a like larger following 230 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:24,200 Speaker 1: than I did before. But it's funny. I remember child. 231 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:27,920 Speaker 1: So my husband, bless us heart, he wanted to post 232 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:30,760 Speaker 1: a picture. Man, it's if that's his that's his thing, right. 233 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,440 Speaker 1: I I don't necessarily post a lot of pictures of 234 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:36,000 Speaker 1: my spouse or my daughter. I post them every once 235 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:37,600 Speaker 1: in a while, but I'm that's just not my thing 236 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:40,840 Speaker 1: to post that way. So he posts a picture and 237 00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:42,800 Speaker 1: he puts some nice words, and it was sweet, but 238 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:46,840 Speaker 1: that's anyway. It was sweet. The attention was good at 239 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:49,800 Speaker 1: tension was good. But the picture he chose, I was like, dog, 240 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,520 Speaker 1: I look at hot ass mess in this picture. 241 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:53,200 Speaker 2: Take this day. 242 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:55,200 Speaker 1: Like I appreciate your words as I really sweet, but 243 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:58,200 Speaker 1: like we I have approved pictures that you are able 244 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:01,360 Speaker 1: to post you because sometimes you partner, they see you girl, 245 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,520 Speaker 1: No let me ask you a question. I know I 246 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:09,080 Speaker 1: feel you feel me because I'm like, Okay, we're gonna 247 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:11,200 Speaker 1: talk about Beyonce real quickly, do y'all think Beyonce? Just 248 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:16,280 Speaker 1: lets anybody post any old pictures? And no, like the 249 00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:18,800 Speaker 1: picture that you think I look cute and I look 250 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:21,480 Speaker 1: a mess, and I'm like, I got crusted on my lip, 251 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:24,000 Speaker 1: I got cold in my eye. No, I like to 252 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:25,880 Speaker 1: inspect the pictures. And I'm like, Okay, you could post 253 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:28,880 Speaker 1: some of these because the image is really important, like 254 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,600 Speaker 1: on a serious note, right, yes, yes, yeah, it may 255 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,920 Speaker 1: seem vain and superficial, and it probably is. And that's 256 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,760 Speaker 1: where I'm at in my journey. That's okay. I'm not 257 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:39,640 Speaker 1: posting any old, random, raggedy pictures of myself. 258 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:42,960 Speaker 2: But here's what I wonder with that though, Right, here's 259 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:47,560 Speaker 2: what I wonder because what you said was years ago, 260 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:52,200 Speaker 2: right in the early stages of social media, we just 261 00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:59,520 Speaker 2: posted anything, right yeah, and there was less attention to 262 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:05,560 Speaker 2: the tiny details of what was posted, right yeah. I'm 263 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:08,960 Speaker 2: sure now I would probably cringe at some of the 264 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:11,880 Speaker 2: photos that I posted way back in the day on Facebook. 265 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:14,480 Speaker 2: Now I'm gonna just put this disclaimer out there that 266 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,520 Speaker 2: all of those photos have been pulled down. So no, 267 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:18,040 Speaker 2: you cannot go and dig in. 268 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:22,640 Speaker 1: The archives but them down. Okay I did, I did. 269 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:27,840 Speaker 2: And but okay, I will say I did because of branding. Right. 270 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:33,360 Speaker 2: So going from my initial social media think, I'm thinking 271 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:36,240 Speaker 2: like Facebook, which I barely engaged. I don't ever engage 272 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:41,520 Speaker 2: in Facebook now, but like Facebook being initially, I was 273 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:46,560 Speaker 2: like in that early stage of Facebook where I was posting, 274 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:48,720 Speaker 2: I was in graduate school and we were posting pictures 275 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:53,600 Speaker 2: when we went out and partied like school. Now, that's 276 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:56,160 Speaker 2: not something I would not want the photos from me 277 00:16:56,400 --> 00:17:02,840 Speaker 2: partying in grad school, yeah, to be released under my 278 00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:09,600 Speaker 2: therapy practice brand or under the podcast brand. Right, So 279 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:13,680 Speaker 2: I pulled those off because of that. But I do 280 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:20,000 Speaker 2: think about how how our attention to what we post 281 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:24,920 Speaker 2: has shifted over time, and I think that that has 282 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:28,440 Speaker 2: a lot to do with the way social media has 283 00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:34,240 Speaker 2: evolved over time. Right. Oh yeah, And I think it's 284 00:17:34,359 --> 00:17:38,600 Speaker 2: also like it feels problematic in a lot of ways 285 00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:46,680 Speaker 2: because whereas you and I as grown women, can make 286 00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:51,800 Speaker 2: that distinction that Oh wait, I am being self conscious 287 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:56,440 Speaker 2: right now about what I'm posting. I have some anxiety 288 00:17:56,720 --> 00:18:02,639 Speaker 2: around people's response and engage with my photos, and we 289 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:07,280 Speaker 2: can easily identify ways to address it and then it 290 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:11,840 Speaker 2: not affects our overall mental health. What I'm concerned about 291 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:15,200 Speaker 2: is the younger generation gen Z, that, like I said, 292 00:18:15,359 --> 00:18:18,800 Speaker 2: does not know a life without social media, how their 293 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:25,560 Speaker 2: mental health is being significantly affected by engagement in social media. 294 00:18:26,119 --> 00:18:28,560 Speaker 1: Oh absolutely, I think you're spot on. I think that's 295 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:32,800 Speaker 1: definitely something that it's something that is important and that 296 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:36,040 Speaker 1: needs to be discussed. I am really grateful that social 297 00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:38,320 Speaker 1: media was not what it is today back when I 298 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,720 Speaker 1: was younger, because I know for a fact I have 299 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:42,960 Speaker 1: a bunch of crazy stuff online that doesn't need to 300 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:46,320 Speaker 1: be posted, and I look back and regret it. I mean, 301 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:48,720 Speaker 1: I look at my own personal videos that I created 302 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:50,719 Speaker 1: decades ago, and I look at them in our cringe. 303 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:53,639 Speaker 1: So I can only imagine having all that public. Another 304 00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:56,040 Speaker 1: thing is too dumb that I thought about. I'm kind 305 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:58,320 Speaker 1: of like leading on to this conversation before we dive 306 00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:01,199 Speaker 1: into the next one. I also have a little bit 307 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:07,399 Speaker 1: of paranoia around being documented without my consent, right, Like, 308 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,560 Speaker 1: I think about how people have taken pictures of people 309 00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:12,720 Speaker 1: that are out and about and let me be honest, 310 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:14,440 Speaker 1: like I've done it before too, where you see something 311 00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:15,879 Speaker 1: on the street and you're like, oh, that's funny. Let 312 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,200 Speaker 1: me go ahead and just text the picture and to 313 00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,320 Speaker 1: my friend like, oh, look at this thing I just saw. 314 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:22,840 Speaker 1: But also you think about memes, right, A lot of 315 00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:26,320 Speaker 1: people who were in memes like they didn't they didn't 316 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:29,720 Speaker 1: consent to that. No, someone grabbed a funny picture. Like 317 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:31,520 Speaker 1: you think about the black guy who's on the phone. 318 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,560 Speaker 1: Someone just you know what I'm talking about. Everybody know 319 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:35,040 Speaker 1: you got what I'm talking about. As soon as I 320 00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:38,120 Speaker 1: say that, yeah, on that lavender post, drop a yes, 321 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:39,719 Speaker 1: if you know what I'm talking about. The black guy 322 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:43,600 Speaker 1: with the phone, right, he didn't. I can't say for sure, 323 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:48,240 Speaker 1: but I'm pretty sure I saw a post about him 324 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:51,639 Speaker 1: just living his best life. Somebody captured the image and 325 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:55,920 Speaker 1: then it just grew a mind of its own, virable. 326 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:57,719 Speaker 1: They not getting paid off of it. Now you got 327 00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:00,600 Speaker 1: people clowning you, and yet that is just a thing. 328 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,119 Speaker 1: But also I think about us going live when you 329 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,600 Speaker 1: and I have gone live on Instagram. Every time I 330 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:07,919 Speaker 1: go live, I get a little butterflies in my stomach. 331 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:11,600 Speaker 1: Even as a speaker and someone you know people we 332 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,080 Speaker 1: speak at conferences have been on stages and you know, 333 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:17,920 Speaker 1: facilitate workshops going live. I just be like, oh, little butterflies, 334 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:21,440 Speaker 1: a little anxiety, right, I think about also not getting 335 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,200 Speaker 1: engagement on a post. Right you talk to be a 336 00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:26,960 Speaker 1: a little bit about engagement earlier. Sometimes you post something 337 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:30,440 Speaker 1: the algorithm like what the algorithm? 338 00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:30,720 Speaker 2: Right? 339 00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:33,920 Speaker 1: You post something six hours go by, you got two lights, 340 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,960 Speaker 1: And I'm like, well, I guess I got to delete 341 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,080 Speaker 1: this and try again because I posted it, Like I'm 342 00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:40,879 Speaker 1: trying to get engagement and notify people about whatever this 343 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,520 Speaker 1: thing is that I'm trying to you know, post online. 344 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:46,760 Speaker 1: So I think there's a lot around the social media anxiety. 345 00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:50,520 Speaker 1: Do you have any little weird quirks? I know, I know, 346 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:53,960 Speaker 1: like I have some friends that they'll well know actually 347 00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:56,920 Speaker 1: I do this, They'll like, I'll unfollow a bunch of people. 348 00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:58,879 Speaker 1: I was going to put someone else out there, but 349 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:02,320 Speaker 1: I'm not going to say they're experience. I will unfollow 350 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,960 Speaker 1: a lot of people based on what's coming up for 351 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,880 Speaker 1: me if I'm tired of seeing the images that I'm seeing, 352 00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:10,240 Speaker 1: what they're discouraging to me. I'm comparing myself like I'll 353 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:13,320 Speaker 1: just delete unfollow everyone, and I just hope that no 354 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:15,040 Speaker 1: one thinks that I don't like them, and it's really 355 00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:20,240 Speaker 1: because of my stuff, you know, So little things like that, Yeah. 356 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:25,680 Speaker 2: I just want to be like, I'll be like, I'll 357 00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:27,800 Speaker 2: be like, well, first of all, let me let me 358 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:32,160 Speaker 2: just be you know, we all know that doctor dom 359 00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:35,679 Speaker 2: just don't be on social media like that, right, So again, 360 00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:38,480 Speaker 2: that post was that post of the behind the scenes 361 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:41,520 Speaker 2: was a big deal because probably the most recent post 362 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:46,480 Speaker 2: before that had been at least three months. So we know, 363 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:52,720 Speaker 2: we know that I have gotten bad about social media, right, 364 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:59,280 Speaker 2: So for me, now there are periods of time where 365 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:05,119 Speaker 2: I won't engage in it at all. Right, Like I 366 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:08,720 Speaker 2: think there's like busy times in my life, busy seasons 367 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:13,320 Speaker 2: where no, not seasons, because yeah, not seasons times. So 368 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:18,480 Speaker 2: like maybe I'm like when I'm on vacation, Yeah, that 369 00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:22,040 Speaker 2: means that it might be a week that I'm not 370 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:26,720 Speaker 2: looking at social media at all because I'm in the 371 00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:31,000 Speaker 2: moment with the vacation. And now that doesn't mean that 372 00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:33,760 Speaker 2: I'm not taking pictures and that I'm that doesn't mean 373 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:37,360 Speaker 2: that I'm not shooting videos. It just means that it's 374 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:41,960 Speaker 2: not I'm not engaging in social media. Right, and so, 375 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:45,040 Speaker 2: but I also know that I've been intentional about that 376 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:49,320 Speaker 2: based on my journey with social media, right, because like 377 00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:53,360 Speaker 2: I pointed out, I've been started with face started when 378 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:54,800 Speaker 2: Facebook was like a baby. 379 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:59,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I get it down. But I was gonna say, 380 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,000 Speaker 1: you'd be taking the thirst pictures, but you just don't. 381 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:09,400 Speaker 1: You don't, you don't post them online. I'm not gonna 382 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:10,400 Speaker 1: put you a blast job. 383 00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:15,320 Speaker 2: Listen, listen. There may be some thirst trap photos out 384 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:19,879 Speaker 2: there in recent history that, yes, and some of them 385 00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:23,240 Speaker 2: may have been intentionally to be thirst first trap because 386 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:25,080 Speaker 2: at the time of this recording, I am a single 387 00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:28,920 Speaker 2: woman and I can do these things right and not 388 00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:33,760 Speaker 2: to say that someone in a relationship can't, but I'm 389 00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:41,560 Speaker 2: more more likely to take a few ifs I'm single. 390 00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:45,840 Speaker 2: But I think too that with my in my social 391 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:51,800 Speaker 2: media journey, Yeah, there was a point where I was 392 00:23:52,160 --> 00:24:01,560 Speaker 2: posting a lot and posting like vacation trip, you know, 393 00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:07,800 Speaker 2: vacation photos, like posting thirst trap photos, like all the things, right, Yeah, 394 00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:14,520 Speaker 2: And I had to get to a point where and 395 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:19,320 Speaker 2: I wasn't focused on likes per se. It was more 396 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:24,760 Speaker 2: so not necessarily like I wasn't counting the likes it 397 00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:30,359 Speaker 2: was more so, Oh, let's see who's gonna comment, and 398 00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:33,640 Speaker 2: what's the comments, right, Like, so what's the attention that's 399 00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:34,399 Speaker 2: going to bring to it? 400 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:34,800 Speaker 1: Right? 401 00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:38,440 Speaker 2: But for sure, absolutely, And so I got to a 402 00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:40,680 Speaker 2: space in life where I was like, well, I don't 403 00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:44,280 Speaker 2: want that attention anymore, right, Like I don't want people 404 00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:49,879 Speaker 2: focusing on me in in this way anymore, right, Like, 405 00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:54,760 Speaker 2: Like what I want, how I want to engage in 406 00:24:54,880 --> 00:25:00,440 Speaker 2: social media is for people to engage with me from 407 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:07,520 Speaker 2: a professional stance. So yeah, all the other stuff has 408 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:09,879 Speaker 2: to come off, right, All the more personal things in 409 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,720 Speaker 2: that regard have to come off now, I will say, 410 00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:15,119 Speaker 2: I mean clearly, if I wanting people to engage with 411 00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:17,760 Speaker 2: me in a professional stance, then I may need to 412 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:24,400 Speaker 2: reevaluate how I engage with that, right right, or which 413 00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:29,960 Speaker 2: and which platform and posting more things about mental health 414 00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:35,159 Speaker 2: and you know. And so from that perspective, yeah, that 415 00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:38,480 Speaker 2: makes sense. It makes me think about the quote, right, 416 00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:39,920 Speaker 2: the quote of the day. You don't have to post 417 00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:42,800 Speaker 2: it to prove it. I remember a mentor years ago 418 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:46,000 Speaker 2: was like, have you ever traveled and not checked in 419 00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:46,840 Speaker 2: at the airport on. 420 00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:48,760 Speaker 1: Facebook or on social media? To let people know that 421 00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:50,680 Speaker 1: you're traveling now. I was like, oh, listen, it's a 422 00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:52,639 Speaker 1: good point. It's a good question to ask, right, Like 423 00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:54,560 Speaker 1: just kind of leaning into oh why do I do 424 00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:56,920 Speaker 1: what I do? Right? Not saying it's bad or wrong 425 00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,080 Speaker 1: or anything like that, but it's just nice to know 426 00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:01,200 Speaker 1: and be aware why we do the things that we do. 427 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:03,280 Speaker 1: And so we're going to go ahead and dive into 428 00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:07,760 Speaker 1: our tips or the five ways to manage social media 429 00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:11,359 Speaker 1: anxiety and the comparison game. The first one here is 430 00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:15,359 Speaker 1: to post authentically. That's number one. Post authentically. Now for me, 431 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:20,920 Speaker 1: don what this means is there are times when and 432 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,280 Speaker 1: I keep saying, like, you know, as a business owner 433 00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:26,960 Speaker 1: and you know podcaster, it's like you sometimes feel pressure 434 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,040 Speaker 1: to post because it's like if you don't post, people 435 00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:31,199 Speaker 1: don't know that, oh I have a new episode out right, 436 00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:33,960 Speaker 1: or oh I have this masterclass or whatever it might be. 437 00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:39,000 Speaker 1: However I find it because I go through, you know, 438 00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:42,680 Speaker 1: these low and high energy moments. Sometimes it feels more 439 00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:44,879 Speaker 1: like depression. Sometimes it's just like, oh, I don't really 440 00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:46,480 Speaker 1: feel like I'm engaging with people. I don't feel like 441 00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:50,760 Speaker 1: being online right now. I tend to lean into posting authentically, 442 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:53,639 Speaker 1: meaning that when I feel compelled in the moment to 443 00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:57,680 Speaker 1: post something and share a story, I post it. And 444 00:26:57,760 --> 00:26:59,639 Speaker 1: if I'm having a rough day and I feel like, 445 00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:02,560 Speaker 1: you know, low, I'm having a rough day. I'm not 446 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:05,920 Speaker 1: the person that wants to post like hey everybody, let's 447 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:09,119 Speaker 1: get up and have a great day on purpose like 448 00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:11,800 Speaker 1: I'm just I don't feel I feel like I'm not 449 00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:15,200 Speaker 1: being true to myself. Yeah, that's the authentic and for me, 450 00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:17,600 Speaker 1: that doesn't feel good. However, I do love to go 451 00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:19,560 Speaker 1: on social media and I'm thund depressed, like hey, y'all 452 00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:22,560 Speaker 1: having a rough day, because I know that certain people 453 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:25,000 Speaker 1: look to me as like a strong person. So I 454 00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:27,760 Speaker 1: like to again post authentically kind of post with my 455 00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:30,520 Speaker 1: moods and how I'm flowing if I feel comfortable enough 456 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:32,520 Speaker 1: to share, and that tends to work best for me 457 00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:35,080 Speaker 1: instead of trying to force something that just isn't there. 458 00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:40,200 Speaker 2: I love that, and I think that what that does 459 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:44,720 Speaker 2: is that sets us up for people recognizing what's real 460 00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:51,000 Speaker 2: and what's not right. That there are people who post 461 00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,639 Speaker 2: like you said that, and what I would categorize as 462 00:27:54,680 --> 00:28:01,520 Speaker 2: that toxic positivity. Right this everything is positive, everything is happy. 463 00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:09,520 Speaker 2: That's not real life or they're posting about these experiences 464 00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:16,399 Speaker 2: and making it seem like the experience was amazing, right, Like, 465 00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:21,359 Speaker 2: somebody's posting about moving. Now, maybe this is just my 466 00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:27,760 Speaker 2: own stuff, but I don't know of anybody who has 467 00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:34,359 Speaker 2: enjoyed the entire process of moving. That shit is stressful, okay, 468 00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:38,320 Speaker 2: And so for someone to come and this is just 469 00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:41,600 Speaker 2: this is just an example, right of someone to come 470 00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:47,000 Speaker 2: on social media and post about, oh, look at my 471 00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:52,480 Speaker 2: new house and my home buying process was the best ever. 472 00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:59,720 Speaker 2: And let's be real, like there was some hiccup in 473 00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:03,800 Speaker 2: that process. And know you don't you're not. You don't 474 00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:07,000 Speaker 2: owe any of us anything to share all of that. 475 00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:14,480 Speaker 2: But it feels inauthentic right to share a post about 476 00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:20,680 Speaker 2: all of the good stuff and not point out any 477 00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:25,000 Speaker 2: of the glitches or downsides, Because now, what you're doing 478 00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:29,480 Speaker 2: is creating an expectation for others, particularly for particularly when 479 00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:33,720 Speaker 2: you have a lot of followers, right, yeah, yeah, you're 480 00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:37,720 Speaker 2: creating the expectation that this is what this is supposed 481 00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:46,640 Speaker 2: to look like, right, Like I think about the pregnancy 482 00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:55,880 Speaker 2: snapback photos, yeah yeah, And I think about how many 483 00:29:56,200 --> 00:30:06,280 Speaker 2: women who are experiencing postpartum depression or for whatever reason 484 00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:16,320 Speaker 2: in their journey, they're not quote unquote snapping back in 485 00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:21,880 Speaker 2: the way that people on social media make it seem 486 00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:25,120 Speaker 2: like you should be doing exactly. 487 00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:29,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's tough girl. Definitely definitely experience that. Also. I 488 00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:31,000 Speaker 1: do want to point out too, dom I was watching 489 00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:33,880 Speaker 1: this video the other day about how people are getting 490 00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:38,000 Speaker 1: not everyone right. And we are not an anti surgery podcast. 491 00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:40,160 Speaker 1: We have episodes with the plastic surgeon like do your 492 00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:43,040 Speaker 1: thing but right. But it just kind of brings up 493 00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:46,400 Speaker 1: this question of you know, do people have an obligation 494 00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:49,080 Speaker 1: to be authentic and to be honest or do they 495 00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:51,040 Speaker 1: just post whatever they want? Because I know that there 496 00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:53,320 Speaker 1: are some people who get surgery. They'll get like a 497 00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:56,200 Speaker 1: BBL right, the Brazilian butt lift, and then they become 498 00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:59,960 Speaker 1: a personal trainer and now they're promoting a training service 499 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:04,440 Speaker 1: to mislead people to believe that they got their body 500 00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:07,320 Speaker 1: that way right. So it just depends. What I'll say 501 00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:09,080 Speaker 1: is whatever helps you sleep better at night, Like if 502 00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:10,560 Speaker 1: you sleep bet at night, you can look at yourself 503 00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:12,840 Speaker 1: in the mirror by doing those kind of things, and 504 00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:15,920 Speaker 1: that's on you and your journey. But I just I 505 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,160 Speaker 1: think that is that's where it gets dangerous and tricky, 506 00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:19,120 Speaker 1: right when you do things like. 507 00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:24,160 Speaker 2: That, Yes, yes, And I think that that that actually 508 00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:30,880 Speaker 2: takes us to another tip of check your reality. Right. 509 00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:38,440 Speaker 2: I love that example that you gave about those BBL trainers, 510 00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:41,920 Speaker 2: right and like and that's what we'll call them because 511 00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,760 Speaker 2: like just shorthand that's what we'll refer to them as. 512 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:49,360 Speaker 2: Right that if we're going to check our reality, what 513 00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:58,920 Speaker 2: that looks like is being aware that how I my physique, right, 514 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:06,760 Speaker 2: my overall medical profile right, and the fact that I 515 00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:13,000 Speaker 2: am not having a BBL, my body will not look 516 00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:19,920 Speaker 2: like the photo of the trainer, right, And so I 517 00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:25,280 Speaker 2: have to check my reality. And so when you're so 518 00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:34,000 Speaker 2: that basically being realistic with your comparisons, that one we 519 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:41,400 Speaker 2: won apples and oranges. Apples and oranges. I'm an orange 520 00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:46,280 Speaker 2: over here, hell around, and the trainer over here is 521 00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:49,720 Speaker 2: actually more like a peach. Peaches and oranges. There we go. Ok, 522 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:55,880 Speaker 2: creates visual for us, right, the BBL trainer is a peach. Right, 523 00:32:56,480 --> 00:33:00,640 Speaker 2: I'm over here looking like an orange. You can cannot 524 00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:07,040 Speaker 2: expect an orange to become a peach. Yeah, that's not 525 00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:09,760 Speaker 2: gonna happen. And in order to if you want that 526 00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:12,880 Speaker 2: orange to be shaped more like that peach. There are 527 00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:17,440 Speaker 2: things that have to be taken off from that orange, 528 00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:22,640 Speaker 2: and then that takes away from the old what makes 529 00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:23,920 Speaker 2: the orange the orange. 530 00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:27,040 Speaker 1: I love the visual, and I will say down I 531 00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:29,360 Speaker 1: think over the years, I've gotten better with the comparison 532 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:32,200 Speaker 1: game because I really don't find myself comparing myself to 533 00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:35,000 Speaker 1: other people. There are definitely people that I admire, and 534 00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:38,120 Speaker 1: I think that when I see someone that has something 535 00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:40,960 Speaker 1: that I want, it motivates me to get it on 536 00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:43,600 Speaker 1: my own. Because what I've realized is I've seen people 537 00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:46,600 Speaker 1: who are some of the most beautiful people as it 538 00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:50,360 Speaker 1: relates to society's, you know, standard of beauty, and people 539 00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:53,680 Speaker 1: that get so much praise, people that are wealthy, people 540 00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:55,400 Speaker 1: that have beautiful homes and looks like they have the 541 00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:59,280 Speaker 1: perfect relationship. And I've seen people who have that on 542 00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:02,240 Speaker 1: the outside who are really unhappy on the inside. And 543 00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:06,720 Speaker 1: so my main goal is always okay, My main goal 544 00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:09,160 Speaker 1: is to always be happy, Like I want to be 545 00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:11,400 Speaker 1: focused on being happy in real life, like when I 546 00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:15,120 Speaker 1: log off the phone and whether I get any likes, Like, 547 00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:18,680 Speaker 1: my personal goal is to be happy authentically in my 548 00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:21,880 Speaker 1: real life. A happiness that doesn't have to be reflected 549 00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:24,560 Speaker 1: on social media, and that's literally what I have today. Yeah. 550 00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:27,000 Speaker 1: I have bad days, you know, I have rough days. 551 00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:29,399 Speaker 1: I have some really great days. But for the most part, 552 00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:32,080 Speaker 1: like I live a very happy, simple life and I 553 00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:34,759 Speaker 1: love that. And so even when I see people with 554 00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:38,279 Speaker 1: these big mansions and all that, like what we see 555 00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:41,640 Speaker 1: is never all that's there to see, right, There's always 556 00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:45,400 Speaker 1: something below the surface, and I don't want to be 557 00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:47,280 Speaker 1: I don't want to know about below the surface. 558 00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:47,560 Speaker 3: I love. 559 00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:49,640 Speaker 1: I like the image. I'm gonna keep on pushing and 560 00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:51,680 Speaker 1: keep on being happy, you know, and doing what I 561 00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:53,600 Speaker 1: need to do to be joyful and happy in real life. 562 00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:56,400 Speaker 1: So check your reality. That's number two, Okay. 563 00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:59,520 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, I'll just add on to that real quick 564 00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:01,680 Speaker 2: before we got so our next one is you know 565 00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:05,440 Speaker 2: what goes on behind You don't know what goes on 566 00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:10,320 Speaker 2: behind the scenes, right, Like I think about some of 567 00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:14,439 Speaker 2: these reality shows like The Housewives and how I don't 568 00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:16,640 Speaker 2: know if they're still doing this, but years ago I 569 00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:19,440 Speaker 2: know that a lot of them would rent houses to 570 00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:23,160 Speaker 2: film for the shows. Right, So then that's so that's 571 00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:30,720 Speaker 2: not reality. So yes, check your reality. No, pay attention 572 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:37,320 Speaker 2: to what's really happening in your world, and part of 573 00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:42,480 Speaker 2: what you can do to help keep your reality in 574 00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:49,440 Speaker 2: check is to curate an intentional feed, which is our 575 00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:58,000 Speaker 2: next tip. Right, So when someone curates an intentional feed, 576 00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:02,000 Speaker 2: you want to make sure or that that your feed 577 00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:09,360 Speaker 2: has the things that are meaningful to you but also 578 00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:14,239 Speaker 2: are uplifting. And maybe that's just me speaking from my 579 00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:18,000 Speaker 2: own personal stance, is that you know, like I said, 580 00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:21,040 Speaker 2: we know that I'm not from my personal brand not posting, 581 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:25,160 Speaker 2: but I'm scrolling right and I'm liking stuff that my 582 00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:30,719 Speaker 2: friends and family and colleagues are out here posting right like, 583 00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:36,360 Speaker 2: I'm loving what other people are doing. And it's because 584 00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:45,120 Speaker 2: I am intentional about the people that I follow, that 585 00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:52,400 Speaker 2: I am following people who either I'm close to and 586 00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:56,879 Speaker 2: I love them, and because sometimes people that you love 587 00:36:56,920 --> 00:36:59,680 Speaker 2: don't always post the things that you want to see. Yes, 588 00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:07,080 Speaker 2: but my criteria and my intentional feed is if I'm 589 00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:12,040 Speaker 2: following you, that either means that we have a close relationship, 590 00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:15,040 Speaker 2: you are inspirational to me in some in like a 591 00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:16,320 Speaker 2: professional sense. 592 00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:17,960 Speaker 1: Or. 593 00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:27,800 Speaker 2: Your post your feed offers me some relief relief in 594 00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:34,040 Speaker 2: that regard, right, like something that maybe makes me laugh 595 00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:38,719 Speaker 2: makes me think or inspires me. 596 00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:42,440 Speaker 1: I love it. That makes sense now, I like that 597 00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:46,080 Speaker 1: would I would agree with that honestly. I would say 598 00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:48,399 Speaker 1: that I enjoy uplifting content. I think about the way 599 00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:50,200 Speaker 1: that I want to feel, and then I file the 600 00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:52,919 Speaker 1: content that will bring about those feelings. I will say 601 00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:55,080 Speaker 1: in the past, like I said before, I would just 602 00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:58,319 Speaker 1: unfollow people if like my account got overwhelmed me because 603 00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:00,600 Speaker 1: sometimes I just depending on the move that I'm in 604 00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:03,279 Speaker 1: in the space i'm in personally, like I'll scoll down 605 00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:05,520 Speaker 1: and it just sometimes just overwhelming. It just feels like, 606 00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:07,680 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, it's just too much. So instead of 607 00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:10,040 Speaker 1: like unfollowing folks as much as I used to do, 608 00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:12,839 Speaker 1: I just have a separate account. I guess you could 609 00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:14,760 Speaker 1: call it like my I'm gonna call it my anti 610 00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:16,680 Speaker 1: petrolled account. You know how some people create a troll 611 00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:20,120 Speaker 1: account where they just troll, like I just lurk, So 612 00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:22,720 Speaker 1: maybe it's my lurker account and so on that account, 613 00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:25,640 Speaker 1: I literally just follow like five people and it's only 614 00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:28,640 Speaker 1: the accounts they are about, like business inspiration and the 615 00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:30,799 Speaker 1: stuff that I really enjoy. And that way I can 616 00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:35,080 Speaker 1: avoid like unfollowing folks because for me, who I follow 617 00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:36,959 Speaker 1: that has nothing to do with like who I value 618 00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:39,040 Speaker 1: in real life. Like for the longest, I wasn't following 619 00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:41,680 Speaker 1: the podcast, and then don you weren't posting a lot 620 00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:44,000 Speaker 1: on Instagram, and so I wasn't following you. But we 621 00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:46,160 Speaker 1: literally text every day like we didn't have any like 622 00:38:46,239 --> 00:38:49,360 Speaker 1: everything was good. It's just social media optically. I was like, 623 00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:51,040 Speaker 1: I guess it kind of looks weird. I don't follow 624 00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:53,200 Speaker 1: down on the podcast, so let me just go ahead 625 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,360 Speaker 1: and do that. Like I wasn't following family. It was 626 00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:58,480 Speaker 1: just like, you know, we like this. 627 00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:01,800 Speaker 2: If you know listen, and I don't even know that 628 00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:06,920 Speaker 2: because I don't be posted, right, But like you said, 629 00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:08,840 Speaker 2: we're here in real. 630 00:39:08,719 --> 00:39:11,800 Speaker 1: Life exactly, so it's like this is real life. So 631 00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:17,440 Speaker 1: that's number three, creating intentional feed. Number four is limit engagement, 632 00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:20,400 Speaker 1: and I think that this can definitely be helpful. There 633 00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:22,680 Speaker 1: have been times where I've taken a social media hiatus 634 00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:24,440 Speaker 1: where I'm just like, Okay, I'm just gonna get off 635 00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:28,480 Speaker 1: limiting engagement as far as what I what I post, 636 00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:31,040 Speaker 1: but also how I engage, what accounts I'm engaging with, 637 00:39:31,719 --> 00:39:33,960 Speaker 1: and just taking it fast. Like there I feel like 638 00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:35,799 Speaker 1: some of the best days I've had or days where 639 00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:38,080 Speaker 1: I get so caught up being in the moment that 640 00:39:38,239 --> 00:39:40,560 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, let me go check on my let 641 00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:42,680 Speaker 1: me go check on all gossip sites and cutch up 642 00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:44,880 Speaker 1: on the gossip because I got like thirty new posts 643 00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:46,799 Speaker 1: that I haven't been on all day. So it does 644 00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:49,360 Speaker 1: feel good sometimes to limit the engagement and also be 645 00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:51,759 Speaker 1: mindful of what accounts I do decide to engage with. 646 00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:55,719 Speaker 2: I totally agree with that, and I do, like I said, 647 00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:59,280 Speaker 2: like I limit my engagement, particularly like if I'm traveling 648 00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:02,040 Speaker 2: or if i'm I'm you know, if I'm in a 649 00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:08,440 Speaker 2: busy season, then I'm definitely like, I'm definitely limiting my 650 00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:11,280 Speaker 2: engagement with social media. But I think for someone who's 651 00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:18,160 Speaker 2: experiencing social media anxiety, what can help is to set timers. 652 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:23,120 Speaker 2: And I haven't used it because I'm pretty disciplined about things, 653 00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:26,279 Speaker 2: but I know that there are timers out there that 654 00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:29,680 Speaker 2: you can set or apps to help you set timers 655 00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:34,120 Speaker 2: right for your computer, for your phone, so that you 656 00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:38,760 Speaker 2: can limit, like you can literally set a time limit 657 00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:42,719 Speaker 2: on how long you can be on social media, and 658 00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:46,040 Speaker 2: then particularly if you're doing it on your laptop, it 659 00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:50,320 Speaker 2: will automatically shut it off, right, And I know that 660 00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:55,719 Speaker 2: for kids, there are parents have parental controls where they 661 00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:58,560 Speaker 2: can set timers and say, like, all right, if your 662 00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:01,920 Speaker 2: bedtime is seven o'clock, then seven o'clock, and I know 663 00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:04,400 Speaker 2: that I make seven o'clock. It's too early. Sorry, excuse 664 00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:08,839 Speaker 2: me out there, but throwing out of time. If your 665 00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:10,960 Speaker 2: bedtime is like nine o'clock and you want your child 666 00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:13,120 Speaker 2: to be off of social media by seven, then you 667 00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:15,960 Speaker 2: set a timer and then the child can't access those 668 00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:20,840 Speaker 2: things after seven. And so there are ways if you 669 00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:24,680 Speaker 2: know that you struggle because I found sometimes where I 670 00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:28,320 Speaker 2: have been, I've gone down that rabbit hole right like 671 00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:31,920 Speaker 2: where I find something that's really interesting, and then I 672 00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:34,880 Speaker 2: keep clicking and keep clicking, and the next thing I know, 673 00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:38,400 Speaker 2: I'm like, wait, it's been an hour or two hours. 674 00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:40,719 Speaker 1: I didn't mean I ain't mean for. 675 00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:42,320 Speaker 2: That much time to go buy it only meant to 676 00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:46,360 Speaker 2: be on here for fifteen minutes. Girl, it gets imagine 677 00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:49,359 Speaker 2: and imagine all of the images that I have now 678 00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:53,919 Speaker 2: taken in in those two hours. And so yeah, set 679 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:57,600 Speaker 2: timers so that, like, if you're a person who's regularly 680 00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:04,279 Speaker 2: doing this, set so that you can truly limit the 681 00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:08,680 Speaker 2: how many images and how often you are engaging. 682 00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:11,680 Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I would agree one hundred percent. You can 683 00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:14,919 Speaker 1: replace your social media activity with something else in life. 684 00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:17,000 Speaker 1: So maybe like distract yourself, right, so instead of going 685 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:19,640 Speaker 1: on social media, I'm going to do this instead, right, 686 00:42:19,719 --> 00:42:20,480 Speaker 1: So just replace. 687 00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:23,040 Speaker 2: I love that because what that is is that's allowing 688 00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:26,200 Speaker 2: you to take notice. Right, So that if social media, 689 00:42:26,239 --> 00:42:29,080 Speaker 2: if you're that person who is spending two hours in 690 00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:32,840 Speaker 2: a row on social media, then you are going to 691 00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:36,640 Speaker 2: struggle with limiting your engagement, and so you want to 692 00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:42,560 Speaker 2: find a replacement. So you want to think about our 693 00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:46,000 Speaker 2: number five, like the purpose, right, So you want to 694 00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:48,480 Speaker 2: think about the purpose of social media, but you also 695 00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:52,239 Speaker 2: want to think about your purpose, your intention on why 696 00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:56,760 Speaker 2: you are engaging so long with social media and find 697 00:42:57,120 --> 00:43:03,520 Speaker 2: a more healthy strategy to use your time with. 698 00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:08,080 Speaker 1: Mm hmm yep, I would agree one. I would also say, 699 00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:11,000 Speaker 1: when it comes to remembering the purpose, think about the 700 00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:12,960 Speaker 1: purpose of the account that you're following. I feel like 701 00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,279 Speaker 1: there are some accounts that don't necessarily have they don't 702 00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:17,880 Speaker 1: have your your best interest right at heart. And I 703 00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:20,560 Speaker 1: saw this account and they were saying how they would 704 00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:22,960 Speaker 1: do They had a Valentine's Day special. Dom let me 705 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,440 Speaker 1: know if y'all would do this, okay, a Valentine's Day 706 00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:28,080 Speaker 1: special or you and your bouding. Guess what y'all can 707 00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:31,719 Speaker 1: get together for a discount of rate a couple hundred dollars. Girl, 708 00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:34,000 Speaker 1: you can get you something nears if you want some 709 00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:36,040 Speaker 1: new tiefs. This is if you want some new chiefs. 710 00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:41,680 Speaker 2: I'm sorry, listen, I the way you set that up. 711 00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:43,319 Speaker 2: I had a whole nother thought in mind. 712 00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:46,240 Speaker 1: So, oh you thought on something something a little sexy. 713 00:43:46,719 --> 00:43:50,000 Speaker 2: Yes, yes I did, Yes I did, because I mean 714 00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:53,000 Speaker 2: there's a lot that happens on social media these days, 715 00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:55,040 Speaker 2: but you never know. 716 00:43:55,239 --> 00:43:57,800 Speaker 1: But I'm saying though, like this account, they are geared 717 00:43:57,840 --> 00:43:59,440 Speaker 1: toward and you can tell they have a lot of 718 00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:02,480 Speaker 1: black people on the on the thing they're trying to 719 00:44:02,719 --> 00:44:04,680 Speaker 1: target the community. Y'all, don't get over the mirrors. It 720 00:44:04,719 --> 00:44:08,080 Speaker 1: costs five hundred dollars. They won't have me like yeah, 721 00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:10,200 Speaker 1: like the like the chicklets in your mouth. Like it's 722 00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:12,640 Speaker 1: just be mindful of what the purpose of the account is. 723 00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:15,759 Speaker 1: Their purpose, right, but also what's the purpose of the 724 00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:19,120 Speaker 1: the business that you're following, right, And how does it 725 00:44:19,239 --> 00:44:21,160 Speaker 1: make you feel when you're following the account. I think 726 00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:22,480 Speaker 1: that's all super important as well. 727 00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:27,400 Speaker 2: Yes, I definitely agree, Like I think about like I 728 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:32,640 Speaker 2: think about doctor Alfie Greelandnoble who we've had on the podcast, 729 00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:35,160 Speaker 2: and I follow her account, and one of the things 730 00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:39,400 Speaker 2: that I love about her Instagram account is that she 731 00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:46,120 Speaker 2: posts motivational videos where it's in mindful videos where it's 732 00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:50,920 Speaker 2: meant to give you an affirmation, right, love it. And 733 00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:55,320 Speaker 2: then doctor Tama I follow her because every day she 734 00:44:55,640 --> 00:44:59,600 Speaker 2: has a powerful quote, right, And so I think about 735 00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:06,520 Speaker 2: the purpose of these accounts, right, and those are things 736 00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:09,399 Speaker 2: that I can that I can support, that I want 737 00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:13,600 Speaker 2: to take in on a consistent basis, because like you 738 00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:20,040 Speaker 2: said before, they're uplifting exactly exactly what you what you 739 00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:27,560 Speaker 2: take in will stay in exactly. You take in all 740 00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:31,160 Speaker 2: the negative, that's what comes in. That's what you're also 741 00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:33,920 Speaker 2: going to be putting out into the world. And so 742 00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:40,319 Speaker 2: when you take in more positivity, then you're more likely 743 00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:46,160 Speaker 2: to feel positive and then putout positivity in return. 744 00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:52,160 Speaker 1: Amen, because it all ministers to our subconscious right. So ladies, 745 00:45:52,160 --> 00:45:54,759 Speaker 1: we're gonna go ahead and do it quick little recap. Okay, 746 00:45:54,840 --> 00:45:58,600 Speaker 1: the five ways to manage social media anxiety and the 747 00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:01,120 Speaker 1: comparison game. So get ready, Get ready. Hopefully you takeing 748 00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:09,120 Speaker 1: notes number one, post authentically number two, check your reality 749 00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:17,480 Speaker 1: number three, curate an intentional feed. Number four, limit engagement, 750 00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:24,120 Speaker 1: and number five remember the purpose and ladies, don't forget 751 00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:26,920 Speaker 1: to visit our Instagram at her Space podcast and go 752 00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:29,160 Speaker 1: to the lavender square. No matter if you're tuning into 753 00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:32,360 Speaker 1: this months or years down the line. Scroll down our Instagram, 754 00:46:32,440 --> 00:46:34,640 Speaker 1: find the lavender square and let us know. Do you 755 00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:37,320 Speaker 1: agree or disagree with the quote? You don't have to 756 00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:41,000 Speaker 1: post it to prove it. What do you think? Hey lady, 757 00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:44,440 Speaker 1: it's Terry here from the Cultivating her Space podcast. I'm 758 00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:47,319 Speaker 1: hosting a free podcasting masterclass where I'm going to teach 759 00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:50,759 Speaker 1: you how to create your impactful podcast and how you 760 00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:54,480 Speaker 1: can generate multiple streams of income. You can visit podcast 761 00:46:54,719 --> 00:46:57,960 Speaker 1: with Terry dot com to register for free. I hope 762 00:46:58,000 --> 00:46:58,520 Speaker 1: to see you there. 763 00:46:59,040 --> 00:47:04,719 Speaker 2: Thanks for joining us today. Please note that our show 764 00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:10,759 Speaker 2: may contain conversations about self help, advice, self empowerment, and 765 00:47:10,880 --> 00:47:13,960 Speaker 2: mental health, but is by no means meant to be 766 00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:18,320 Speaker 2: a substitute for an ongoing formal relationship with a trained 767 00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:22,400 Speaker 2: mental health provider. If you are someone you know is 768 00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:25,720 Speaker 2: in need of mental health care, please visit a Therapy 769 00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:31,720 Speaker 2: for Black Girls directory Psychology today or contact your insurance provider. 770 00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:34,160 Speaker 1: If you liked what you heard and want to keep 771 00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:38,919 Speaker 1: the conversation going, visit our website at cultivatinghirspace dot com 772 00:47:39,560 --> 00:47:41,799 Speaker 1: and be sure to click the Patreon tab to get 773 00:47:41,880 --> 00:47:46,879 Speaker 1: access to video content, bonuses, and our weekly after show 774 00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:52,359 Speaker 1: and before we meet again, repeat after me, what's meant 775 00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:55,920 Speaker 1: for me? Will never miss me. I don't have to 776 00:47:56,040 --> 00:47:56,279 Speaker 1: chase