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Speaker 1: Hey, Alyssa Sale and this is Joe. Welcome to the

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime podcast game show.

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Speaker 2: The show where you can hear the greatest stories on Earth.

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Speaker 1: And luckily you've won the jackpot for listening to the

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Speaker 1: best stories your ears could listen to. All you have

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Speaker 1: to do is wait for two minutes through these messages

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Speaker 1: from our sponsors.

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Speaker 3: My brother finally realized what narcisstis ex girlfriend is after

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Speaker 3: she demanded he pay her car payments.

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Speaker 4: Did he pay my car payments too?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Can he pay mine as well? I mean, if that's

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Speaker 3: going around these days. Context, my brother dated a narcissist

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Speaker 3: that lied with every breath she took, faked illnesses for

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Speaker 3: both her and her children, made sure my niece, the

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Speaker 3: only biological child my brother has, didn't get anything that

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Speaker 3: her four crotch goblins couldn't get to, cheated on him

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Speaker 3: and gas led him to the point my brother's view

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Speaker 3: of himself was completely destroyed by the way this comes

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Speaker 3: from users Smile Fearless and if you want to submit

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Speaker 3: your stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime subred it.

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Speaker 3: He was basically in an abusive relationship for ten years

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Speaker 3: in didn't realize it until recently she had all his passwords.

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Speaker 3: Later found out she had all his daughter's passwords as well,

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Speaker 3: and would make Facebook posts on their behalf to type

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Speaker 3: about how she was an amazing wife and stepmom and

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Speaker 3: how much they adored her. My niece was the first

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Speaker 3: to admit she never wrote any of that stuff, and

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Speaker 3: then in actuality she hated share it well. The witch

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Speaker 3: named Shannon left my brother for another man. After the

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Speaker 3: initial hurt wore off, he realized how much better his

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Speaker 3: life was without her. He was able to actually spend

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Speaker 3: money on himself. He bought himself new jeans, got a

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Speaker 3: new car, and lavished his daughter with everything he wouldn't

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Speaker 3: have been able to get her before, because if he did,

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Speaker 3: he would have had to buy five of them, because

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Speaker 3: if her children didn't get it, it wasn't fair and

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Speaker 3: she'd pitch a raging fit. My niece got a new wardrobe,

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Speaker 3: a new phone, new baseball gear, you name it. The

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Speaker 3: funny thing is that Shannon left my brother for a

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Speaker 3: man she thought was rich, but it turns out he was.

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Speaker 2: Just as much of a liar as she was. On

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Speaker 2: near de perfect for you.

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Speaker 3: For the first time, her children didn't have new clothes

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Speaker 3: for school, and her bills were starting to pile up.

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Speaker 3: At one point, she did do something nice. She returned

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Speaker 3: a phone that my brother was wanting back. She had

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Speaker 3: stolen a lot of his things when she left, mostly

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Speaker 3: his hoodies my mother had bought him for Christmas. Now,

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Speaker 3: after she did this, she contacted my brother asking if

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Speaker 3: he would pay her nine hundred dollars car payment because

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Speaker 3: she's at risk for having her car repossessed. My brother

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Speaker 3: was understandably forward she asked such a thing, and he

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Speaker 3: told her no. Thanksgiving was coming up and he needed

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Speaker 3: the money to travel to the US. This would be

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Speaker 3: the first time he'd ever been able to spend it

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Speaker 3: with us in years.

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Speaker 2: Every holiday she could, she'd try and.

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Speaker 3: Keep him from coming, and if they did come, her

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Speaker 3: kids would run around being loud and eating my other

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Speaker 3: niece's diabetic snacks. If we got onto them, Shannon would

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Speaker 3: get huffy and demand to leave because quote our family

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Speaker 3: was disrespecting her again as a mother.

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Speaker 2: Her little demons are just the worst, and.

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Speaker 3: To make matters more horrifying, she'd put them up to

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Speaker 3: do it things.

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Speaker 2: Once she even.

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Speaker 3: Got her little girl to throw rocks at my mother

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Speaker 3: and when she asked her to stop because she could

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Speaker 3: put an eye out. Wentto Facebook and completely twisted the story,

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Speaker 3: saying my mom screamed in her poor girl's face, which

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Speaker 3: did not happen.

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Speaker 4: Who is this?

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Speaker 2: This woman just.

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Speaker 3: A vile witch from some unspoken place. I don't know,

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Speaker 3: core of this planets from the woods. She crawled out

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Speaker 3: of a den in the woods. She's a force of nature.

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Speaker 4: Getting the children involved to do your dirty work.

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Speaker 2: Is It's crazy.

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Speaker 3: Shannon got angry with my brother and started posting on Facebook,

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Speaker 3: telling everyone that my brother was selfish, that he had

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Speaker 3: all this money now and wouldn't help her. Of course,

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Speaker 3: people started looking at her like she was a lunatic.

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Speaker 3: She left my brother, bragged she had a rich man

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Speaker 3: and was now saying my brother was selfish for not

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Speaker 3: paying her bills. Word got back to my brother and

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Speaker 3: for the first time, he stood up for himself.

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Speaker 2: He told her that.

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Speaker 3: He sacrificed ten years of his life and went without

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Speaker 3: so that she and her children didn't have to. And

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Speaker 3: how did she repay him by cheating on him, causing

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Speaker 3: problems for our family, manipulating his daughter, spreading lies about him.

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Speaker 3: And now she has the audacity to call him selfish.

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Speaker 3: Shannon promptly deleted the Facebook post and has been quiet

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Speaker 3: for a few days now, which, by the way, you

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Speaker 3: should be screenshotting these to have his evidence. But I'm

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Speaker 3: so proud of my brother for standing his ground and

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Speaker 3: not giving into her, considering we dealt with this woman

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Speaker 3: for ten years. There's a lot of stories that I

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Speaker 3: have about her, and she just continues to create more.

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Speaker 3: I'm not exaggerating when I say she'll stab you in

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Speaker 3: the back, tell you about how every man wants her,

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Speaker 3: and then start drama just so she can twist it

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Speaker 3: around where she's the victim. And there is an update.

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Speaker 3: What could we possibly hear about in this updea.

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Speaker 2: Change your ways?

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Speaker 4: She's asking for forgiveness and she's gonna pay her car loans.

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Speaker 3: I am gonna go ahead and guess the exact opposite

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Speaker 3: of that. I'm gonna guess a little cheeky breaking and

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Speaker 3: entering going on here.

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Speaker 4: You know, I'm a pessimist.

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Speaker 3: I made a post yesterday about my brother's ex narcissistic

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Speaker 3: girlfriend and some people ask for more stories or an

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Speaker 3: update when one comes out.

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Speaker 2: There will probably be one soon.

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Speaker 3: And as my niece is running for homecoming queen after

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Speaker 3: being chosen by some of her classmates. Shannon's eldest daughter

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Speaker 3: will call her Minnie, is in the same grade as

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Speaker 3: my niece, and they're both livid. My family dealt with

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Speaker 3: Shannon for nearly ten years, and in those years, she

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Speaker 3: racked up quite a few stories. One of them that

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Speaker 3: I remember the best was when we first found out

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Speaker 3: about her true nature. My brother had just divorced my

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Speaker 3: niece's mother, which just really quick, I think, is Shannon.

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Speaker 3: My mom and I were going over to his house

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Speaker 3: to redecorate and paint the place up to kind of

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Speaker 3: cheer him up by making it more his style. I

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Speaker 3: was only like fourteen or fifteen when this happened. When

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Speaker 3: we pulled up to the house, there were piles of

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Speaker 3: clothing outside in the yard, along with furniture. My mom

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Speaker 3: was confused, and my brother explained that Shannon's mother kicked

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Speaker 3: her and the kids out after a heated argument and

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Speaker 3: they had nowhere else to go. He didn't know what

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Speaker 3: to do. He didn't agree to let her stay with him,

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Speaker 3: but she had three kids at the time and was

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Speaker 3: pregnant with another. He felt like he didn't have a

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Speaker 3: choice but to let her stay, and ironically enough, my

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Speaker 3: mom believes Shannon and her mother planned this because the

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Speaker 3: very next day they had lunch together and acted like

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Speaker 3: the best of friends. Yeah, it sounds like the narcissistic

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Speaker 3: scheming apple doesn't fall far from the narcissistic scheming tree.

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Speaker 4: They're very delectable in fall time.

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Speaker 3: And they're not bitter. They're just crab apples. Dude, there's

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Speaker 3: a couple of crab apples. My brother's biological father was

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Speaker 3: anything but a family man, so my brother strives to

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Speaker 3: be the exact opposite of him. Within a month of

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Speaker 3: them dating, Shannon was already moving into his home. My

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Speaker 3: mother and I helped her move things in, and my

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Speaker 3: mom got to notice a few red flags. The main

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Speaker 3: I remember being is that all the children's clothes looked

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Speaker 3: two sizes too small for them. I looked at the

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Speaker 3: kids and she was right. The clothes they were wearing

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Speaker 3: were stained up, which is normal for children, and they

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Speaker 3: were much too small. We questioned it, and Shannon painted

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Speaker 3: a haunting story about how abusive her ex husband was,

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Speaker 3: how he had stolen all of her children's good clothes

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Speaker 3: and locked her in a bathroom to keep her from leaving.

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Speaker 3: And how she had to climb out the window to

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Speaker 3: get away from him. My mom found that to be

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Speaker 3: an odd story. Why would he steal their clothes. After

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Speaker 3: some snooping, my mom found out her ex was actually

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Speaker 3: a decent man who didn't have any of his children's

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Speaker 3: clothes other than what he bought them after they split up.

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Speaker 3: He stated, Shannon never bought the kid's new clothing, and

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Speaker 3: this would prove to be true in the years to come. Now,

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Speaker 3: while my mom and I were decorating my brother's home,

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Speaker 3: one thing she did was hanging several pictures of my

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Speaker 3: brother and his daughter in the living room. The biggest

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Speaker 3: picture was one we had professionally done of my niece

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Speaker 3: in a white dress holding on lacey umbrella that made

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Speaker 3: her look like a little doll when she was younger,

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Speaker 3: around three.

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Speaker 2: She was about five or six when this happened.

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Speaker 3: A few weeks after moving in, Shannon stated that she

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Speaker 3: wanted to take family photos for her parents and asked

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Speaker 3: my mother, who was working on getting her photography career

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Speaker 3: off the ground, to take them. My mother agreed, and

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Speaker 3: the day she chose to take them, my niece was

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Speaker 3: at her mother's house. Now, at one point during the

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Speaker 3: photo taking, she asked my brother to be in My

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Speaker 3: mom was hesitant, dating if she wanted to include my brother,

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Speaker 3: then would she mind waiting for a day when his

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Speaker 3: daughter was here to be in the photograph. Shannon stated

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Speaker 3: that it was just for her parents and grandparents, that

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Speaker 3: they liked my brother a lot and would love to

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Speaker 3: have him in the photo. Not wanting to argue, my

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Speaker 3: mom took the photos and after they were finished with

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Speaker 3: touch ups, my mom gave her a few of the copies.

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Speaker 3: The next time we went over to their house, I

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Speaker 3: saw my mom freeze in the doorway. I looked up

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Speaker 3: and noticed that the wall we had decorated with pictures

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Speaker 3: had been altered. The only pictures with my niece in

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Speaker 3: it were the small ones, and the rest had been moved,

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Speaker 3: including the large professional one in its place the family

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Speaker 3: photo with my brother in it and without my niece.

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Speaker 4: I wonder who moved it.

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Speaker 2: This is just.

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Speaker 3: Creep o behavior, Like I know this, This seems like

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Speaker 3: a small thing to blow up at, but honestly, I

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Speaker 3: kind of be blowing up.

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Speaker 4: This is getting to the territory of psychotic.

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Speaker 3: Right where it's like, I'm sorry, who do you think

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Speaker 3: you are? You think you can just come in here

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Speaker 3: and what change the photographs in my house?

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Speaker 1: Like what?

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Speaker 5: Or two?

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Speaker 4: Fine, but all the ones, especially with the niece in them, she.

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Speaker 3: Thinks she can come in there and then like, well

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Speaker 3: it's not I guess it's not their house, but it's

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Speaker 3: like it's still very odd. My mom demanded to know

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Speaker 3: where the photo was in a not so calm voice.

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Speaker 3: Way to go, Mom, Shannon explained she had it moved

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Speaker 3: to the hallway. My mom went to the hall and

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Speaker 3: stopped when she was in my niece's room. The new

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Speaker 3: bunk my brother had bought her had crayola all over it.

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Speaker 3: It was built from woods, so the crayola couldn't wash

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Speaker 3: off entirely. Her shelves that had expensive Barbie still in

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Speaker 3: the box were ripped from the walls. My mom walked

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Speaker 3: in just in time to see one of the boys

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Speaker 3: jump from her top bed onto a mattress that had

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Speaker 3: been dugged into the room and possibly for the other

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Speaker 3: kids to sleep on. The youngest girl was hanging from

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Speaker 3: one of the shelves that hadn't been torn down yet.

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Speaker 3: The kids were treating her room like a jungle gym.

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Speaker 3: While my niece was at her mother's get her.

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Speaker 2: Out of there, dish.

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Speaker 4: Shannon is scum of the earth.

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Speaker 3: And so clearly Opie's niece that is being sort of

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Speaker 3: excluded here is not Shannon's daughter.

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Speaker 2: No, no, So it's like, that's why this is happening.

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Speaker 3: That's because which is the biggest scumbag thing you could

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Speaker 3: do as someone entering a relationship and you have kids

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Speaker 3: of your own, and you're gonna what, exclude your partner's kids.

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Speaker 4: She's not mine. I didn't give birth to her, so

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Speaker 4: I shouldn't.

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Speaker 2: Care, scumbag.

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Speaker 3: My mom went crazy bananas, yelling at them that what

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Speaker 3: they were doing wasn't safe, before completely rounding on Shannon.

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Speaker 2: I won't say my mom was calm because she wasn't.

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Speaker 3: All our work to make the house look nice was

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Speaker 3: being destroyed, and my niece is and always has been

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Speaker 3: a neat freak who was going to probably burst into tears.

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Speaker 2: When she saw her room.

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Speaker 3: My mom began screaming at Shannon, stating, how dare she

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Speaker 3: let her children destroy someone else's room and how dare

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Speaker 3: she move a family photo onto the wall? Didn't she

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Speaker 3: realize how that would make my niece feel excluded?

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Speaker 2: Yes she did. I'm gonna guarantee you that she did.

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Speaker 3: Shannon began to cry, stating that she didn't want to

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Speaker 3: make her children feel left out, and what about my kids?

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Speaker 2: Are my kids supposed to go without?

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Speaker 3: My brother was on my mom's side, as he hadn't

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Speaker 3: seen the room yet. However, that changed with one thing

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Speaker 3: Shannon did. She faked heart complications. She clutched her chest

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Speaker 3: and told my mom she couldn't get worked up she

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Speaker 3: had a heart condition. We later learned from her family

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Speaker 3: that this was a lie psychotic behavior.

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Speaker 4: At first, I was like, Okay, maybe she's just a

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Speaker 4: terrible person, but she's a terrible person who's also.

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Speaker 3: A psychopath psychotic. My brother, who became worried to my

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00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,400
Speaker 3: mom he would talk to her. My mom told me

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Speaker 3: to get into the car and we left. She was

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00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:07,200
Speaker 3: livid the entire night, and of course, when my niece

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00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,360
Speaker 3: got home she saw her room and the family photo.

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Speaker 3: I'm not sure how she reacted to the room, but

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Speaker 3: the next time she came over to our house, she

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00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,360
Speaker 3: asked my mom why she would take a family photo

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Speaker 3: without her. My brother promptly removed the photo, telling Shannon

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Speaker 3: she wanted to give it to her parents, so it

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Speaker 3: better go to their house. Of course, she fake cried again,

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Speaker 3: stating my brother didn't see her children as family. When

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Speaker 3: that didn't work, she pretended that her getting upset caused

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Speaker 3: her to have more heart pains, and after that, my

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00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:34,240
Speaker 3: brother began walking on eggshells to prevent her from getting upset,

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Speaker 3: worried he throw her into a heart attack. We own't, yeah, truly,

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Speaker 3: get her out of here. Get her out of here.

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Speaker 3: I don't want her in the same solar system as me.

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Speaker 4: What's up with the brother just not figuring it out?

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Speaker 4: I don't know, man, this is so blatant, smacking the

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00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:53,880
Speaker 4: face like so red all over, But what are you doing?

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Speaker 4: He probably leads with his heart, dude.

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Speaker 3: You know, we only learned recently that she doesn't have

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00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:01,520
Speaker 3: this heart condition, and never did. It was all used

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Speaker 3: as a weapon to keep my brother from upsetting her.

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Speaker 3: The next time we came over to the house, my

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00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:07,760
Speaker 3: brother had put the shelves back up, and from what

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00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:10,040
Speaker 3: I could tell, tried his hardest to scrub the crayole

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00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:12,040
Speaker 3: off the bed, but the kids were still jumping off

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00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:14,560
Speaker 3: the top bunk and making an overall mess out of

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00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:16,800
Speaker 3: her room. When I questioned it, Shannon gave me a

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00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:19,439
Speaker 3: look and stated, well, they live here too, they need

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Speaker 3: a room too. My problem wasn't the room, but rather

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00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:23,840
Speaker 3: the fact that they were bothering my niece's things and

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00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:27,679
Speaker 3: destroying the room. I had no problem with them sleeping

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00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:29,880
Speaker 3: in it or keeping their toys in it. However, believing

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00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:31,959
Speaker 3: that her heart condition was real, I bowed out of

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00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,040
Speaker 3: the conversation, worried I'd set her off.

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Speaker 2: Things only escalated.

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Speaker 3: When my mom put up photos of all her grandkids

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Speaker 3: and children around her fireplace.

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00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:41,360
Speaker 2: When Shannon came over, her face fell.

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Speaker 3: She began hysterically crying, stating that my mother didn't see

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Speaker 3: her children as her grandkids.

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Speaker 2: My mom was floored, saying she'd only known her children

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Speaker 2: for like six months and didn't have any photos of

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00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,840
Speaker 2: them anyways. Shannon complained to my brother, but he told

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Speaker 2: her that she couldn't force Mom to change how she decorates,

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Speaker 2: especially if she doesn't have pictures. So my mom could

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Speaker 2: a deal with Shannon if she he provides the picture,

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Speaker 2: she'd put them up. However, Shannon didn't do this and

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00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,680
Speaker 2: instead told anyone who would listen that my mother hated

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Speaker 2: her children. When asked about it, my mom said she

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00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:11,520
Speaker 2: had nothing against the kids, they were just kids. Their mother, however,

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Speaker 2: she was beginning to hate very much.

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Speaker 3: Within a few months, Shannon's children had broken my brother's TV,

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00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:20,040
Speaker 3: spray painted his coffee table, somehow managed to cut up

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00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:22,720
Speaker 3: the walls with what may have been scissors, destroyed nearly

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Speaker 3: anything decorative that was glass, and tore holes in his couch.

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Speaker 4: So they're demons.

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Speaker 2: How are the kids spray painting the coffee table? Who's watching?

321
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:32,680
Speaker 2: These little kids? Are breaking? Monsters? Doing? Are they doing?

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00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:35,920
Speaker 3: Wwe moves in the house? And how is this being

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Speaker 3: let slide?

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Speaker 2: This is insane.

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Speaker 3: All of his nice furniture was replaced by secondhand things

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Speaker 3: that didn't look nearly as good or matched together. What

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00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:45,000
Speaker 3: was worse was when he lost to the house. Shannon

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00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:47,560
Speaker 3: had stated that she was paying the house payment, but

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00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,720
Speaker 3: the woman they were supposed to be making payments too,

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00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:52,240
Speaker 3: said she hadn't received money in nine months.

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Speaker 2: So not only are.

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00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:58,760
Speaker 3: Our kids ruining things, she's not paying the payments. And

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Speaker 3: how are they not broken up?

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00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:00,840
Speaker 2: Already?

335
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:04,160
Speaker 4: Love is stronger than any material in this world. Dakota.

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00:14:04,559 --> 00:14:05,760
Speaker 2: This might be a really hot take.

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00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,880
Speaker 3: I don't know, but I feel like your partner having

338
00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:13,240
Speaker 3: demon children, a perfectly acceptable reason to not be with them.

339
00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:16,160
Speaker 3: So my brother ended up being evicted from his house

340
00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:18,600
Speaker 3: and had to move into an apartment in Shannon's name

341
00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:21,160
Speaker 3: that her father had given to them. When this happened,

342
00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:23,760
Speaker 3: my mom demanded to know why Shannon didn't to move

343
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:27,200
Speaker 3: into this apartment when her mother first kicked her out,

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00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:30,000
Speaker 3: But of course, Shannon faked her heart condition again, saying

345
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:31,800
Speaker 3: it was too stressful for her to talk about the

346
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,080
Speaker 3: situation with her mother. Even though they hung out often,

347
00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:36,960
Speaker 3: according to her, they were still fighting, that is, her mother.

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00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:39,160
Speaker 3: Within less than a year, my brother lost most of

349
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:41,520
Speaker 3: his good furniture and his house, but was too afraid

350
00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:43,760
Speaker 3: to say anything because he was afraid of upsetting Shannon.

351
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,160
Speaker 3: And we didn't know it at the time, but she

352
00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:48,120
Speaker 3: was using his divorce against him, using it to make

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00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,480
Speaker 3: him feel like if he didn't have her, he'd never

354
00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:53,200
Speaker 3: have anyone. That she was this angel that accepted him

355
00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:54,840
Speaker 3: and that his wife left him because he was.

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Speaker 4: I feel bad for the brother, but also, why are

357
00:14:57,800 --> 00:14:58,800
Speaker 4: you so gullible dude?

358
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Speaker 2: Given her the number fifteen?

359
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:03,200
Speaker 3: So my brother is very self conscious about his intellect,

360
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,880
Speaker 3: as he does have a learning disability, so he started

361
00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:08,880
Speaker 3: going with what Shannon said because he saw her as

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00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:10,120
Speaker 3: this intelligent person that.

363
00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:13,440
Speaker 4: Has been learning disability and she's taking so much advantage.

364
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:16,120
Speaker 3: Dude, you I want a drop kicker. I'm gonna freak

365
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:18,200
Speaker 3: it back back to the depths she came from. Now,

366
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:21,040
Speaker 3: my brother is constantly down on himself. He's afraid to

367
00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:23,640
Speaker 3: try anything career rize if it has a written exam

368
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:25,560
Speaker 3: that has to be taken, such as real estate, because

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00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:27,760
Speaker 3: he believes he's not smart enough to pass it, and

370
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:30,280
Speaker 3: because the apartment was in her name. Anytime my brother

371
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,800
Speaker 3: would do something like question her motives, she'd just throw

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00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:34,880
Speaker 3: him out. My brother, feeling like he was in the wrong,

373
00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,480
Speaker 3: would always apologize and she'd take him back and give

374
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,920
Speaker 3: him a second chance since she loved him so much.

375
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,200
Speaker 3: She really just messed with his head. The house and

376
00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:45,040
Speaker 3: the furniture were just items. But my brother and niece's

377
00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:48,480
Speaker 3: self esteem and empathy towards others has been completely altered.

378
00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:50,040
Speaker 2: They both think lowly of.

379
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:53,400
Speaker 3: Themselves and are both now very hesitant to believe anyone's stories,

380
00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:55,960
Speaker 3: which is sad because most sane people aren't going to

381
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,760
Speaker 3: lie about having a medical condition, which is true. This

382
00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:02,000
Speaker 3: person is insane, I know it really affected my niece

383
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,280
Speaker 3: because I was telling her about a girl I know

384
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,520
Speaker 3: who had cancer a few months back, and one of

385
00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:09,160
Speaker 3: the first questions she asked me was, are you sure

386
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,640
Speaker 3: she really had it? I told her people don't lie

387
00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:14,000
Speaker 3: about that, and there's video of her ringing the bell

388
00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:16,360
Speaker 3: when she was deemed cancer free shout out my mom

389
00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:18,600
Speaker 3: who did the same thing, as well as pictures of

390
00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:21,600
Speaker 3: her after she shaved her hair when it was falling out.

391
00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:24,640
Speaker 3: Her response, Shannon would lie. I couldn't disagree with her

392
00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:27,240
Speaker 3: because all of the medical illnesses she said she had

393
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:29,800
Speaker 3: or her children had only turned out to be lies.

394
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,560
Speaker 3: So examples include one of her children having autism and

395
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:34,800
Speaker 3: the other one having her stomach muscles deteriorate to the

396
00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:37,600
Speaker 3: point that her intestines had fallen on top of each other,

397
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:40,320
Speaker 3: making it where she couldn't use the bathroom. No surgery

398
00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:43,359
Speaker 3: was ever done, and supposedly the doctor gave her little laxatives.

399
00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:45,040
Speaker 3: I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure that's the

400
00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:48,320
Speaker 3: serious condition requiring surgery. It's a little heartbreaking to know

401
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:50,480
Speaker 3: this woman warped my niece's view of the world to

402
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:53,000
Speaker 3: the point she now thinks people's actions or their medical

403
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:56,040
Speaker 3: state might have some ulterior motive. Now my brother is

404
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:58,560
Speaker 3: showering her with gifts and trying his best to move

405
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,160
Speaker 3: on with a new girlfriend he met. However, every night,

406
00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:03,800
Speaker 3: at least during the beginning stages of the relationship he

407
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:06,880
Speaker 3: called my mom terrified that he's going to screw it up.

408
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,360
Speaker 3: He's going to bounce back. Hey, you're going to bounce back.

409
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:10,480
Speaker 3: Find a great partner.

410
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:14,200
Speaker 4: He needs to support compass also, because this is ten

411
00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:18,000
Speaker 4: years of him just being his brain morphing into like

412
00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:19,919
Speaker 4: I'm not good enough. I don't I guess it's not

413
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:20,840
Speaker 4: I'm not the best.

414
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,800
Speaker 2: So you need probably some counselings and therapy. I think

415
00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:27,000
Speaker 2: for op and and the children.

416
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:29,760
Speaker 3: And the children, the children who have had their confidence

417
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:34,160
Speaker 3: and their worldview mixed up by this individual need guidance.

418
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, this is so I feel so bad.

419
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:40,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, and dude, let this be a lesson, Like, if

420
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:44,800
Speaker 3: you feel weird vibes, your gut will seldom lead you wrong.

421
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:45,960
Speaker 4: Always trust your gut.

422
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:48,520
Speaker 2: If your gut's telling you something like hear it out

423
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:49,480
Speaker 2: at the very least.

424
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:53,760
Speaker 4: So Shannon is a scumbag demon, a psychopath that seems

425
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,639
Speaker 4: like and a pathological liar.

426
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:59,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, a great combo, the Unholy Trinity. Before we get

427
00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:00,399
Speaker 3: into it, I just want to let you know that

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00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,439
Speaker 3: you can listen to full episodes with stories like this.

429
00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:05,240
Speaker 3: All you gotta do is go to your favorite podcast platform,

430
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:07,920
Speaker 3: whatever it may be, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get

431
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,600
Speaker 3: your podcasts from and search Okay, storytime easy, and there

432
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:10,920
Speaker 3: we are.

433
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:12,200
Speaker 2: You'll have the entire.

434
00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:15,720
Speaker 3: Catalog to browse through at your leisure. One night, he

435
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:18,560
Speaker 3: called her the Demon, ranting about how much of an

436
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,600
Speaker 3: idiot he was and how he knew he blew it

437
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:23,320
Speaker 3: with her, that she'd never want to talk to him again,

438
00:18:23,359 --> 00:18:23,879
Speaker 3: et cetera.

439
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:25,560
Speaker 2: What did he do well?

440
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:27,600
Speaker 3: He was supposed to be going over to her house

441
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:30,360
Speaker 3: and fell asleep and woke up at midnight. His new

442
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:34,080
Speaker 3: girlfriend I'll call Ronda since she likes mma, was a

443
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,680
Speaker 3: little niffed, but since she knew he had just gotten

444
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,400
Speaker 3: off work, she joked that he hadn't blown it yet,

445
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:41,760
Speaker 3: but if he stood her up again, she'd be at

446
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:42,600
Speaker 3: his front door.

447
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:46,320
Speaker 4: Okay, so this is at least a better partner in

448
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:47,240
Speaker 4: the better direction.

449
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:50,919
Speaker 2: That seems like. Yeah, a normal response with understanding and

450
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:53,399
Speaker 2: a little bit of cheeky cheeky humor.

451
00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:53,600
Speaker 4: There.

452
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,560
Speaker 3: There are a lot more stories of Shannon since again,

453
00:18:56,880 --> 00:19:00,280
Speaker 3: ten years of this mess, manipulation, lies and fake This

454
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:03,160
Speaker 3: is we're normally her calling card for the dramatic situations

455
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:06,159
Speaker 3: she'd wrote people into, normally ending it by twisting the

456
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:09,119
Speaker 3: situation where she somehow became the victim.

457
00:19:09,359 --> 00:19:10,480
Speaker 2: And that's the end of that story.

458
00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:13,679
Speaker 3: Oho, OK, here's what I'll say, all right, ended on

459
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:16,720
Speaker 3: like a decl What we're gonna say, right is that

460
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:20,280
Speaker 3: the brother, the children, all the people who were impacted

461
00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:24,119
Speaker 3: mentally by her manipulations have sought therapy, all right, have

462
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,080
Speaker 3: sought group counseling. I'm putting that out there. That's what

463
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:27,680
Speaker 3: they were gonna do. The brother is still in a

464
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:31,679
Speaker 3: great relationship now with Ronda. Yes, yes, And just a

465
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:34,680
Speaker 3: warning again, if you just listen to this story and

466
00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:37,000
Speaker 3: you realize, oh, that kind of sounds like my partner,

467
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:41,800
Speaker 3: but my partner's great, you have to re examine your relationship.

468
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,200
Speaker 6: I refuse to reconcile with my brother in law after

469
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:47,720
Speaker 6: he said something hurtful.

470
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:48,560
Speaker 2: How hurtful?

471
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:50,760
Speaker 6: Let's find out My spouse and I have been together

472
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,040
Speaker 6: for over ten years. We have a seven year old

473
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:55,000
Speaker 6: girl and a four year old son. For the most part,

474
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:57,880
Speaker 6: we've gotten along well with each other's family. My mother

475
00:19:57,920 --> 00:19:59,720
Speaker 6: in law has gone above and beyond to help with

476
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:01,720
Speaker 6: the kid and helped me when I was dealing with

477
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:04,240
Speaker 6: certain health issues. By the way, this comes from being

478
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,760
Speaker 6: nice isn't hard. And if you want to submit your

479
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:08,720
Speaker 6: own stories, go to the r slash Okay story time.

480
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:09,359
Speaker 5: I'll reredd it.

481
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:12,080
Speaker 6: So the following was something we didn't expect and makes

482
00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:15,479
Speaker 6: me feel uncomfortable of interacting with brother in law ever again,

483
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:17,919
Speaker 6: brother in law got dumped during the holidays and was

484
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:19,920
Speaker 6: feeling down at the start of January. He and my

485
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:23,399
Speaker 6: husband have made a point of texting him often just

486
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:25,280
Speaker 6: to check in on him, and it looks like he

487
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:28,280
Speaker 6: was in better spirits, like around mid month and went

488
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,800
Speaker 6: on what he called a great date with a former

489
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:33,240
Speaker 6: coworker A few days after that, on a weekday, my

490
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:35,320
Speaker 6: husband and me were playing a board game with our

491
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:38,040
Speaker 6: kids while texting with my brother in law. My husband

492
00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:40,359
Speaker 6: first sent a voice note of our kids saying hello

493
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:42,080
Speaker 6: to their uncle, and then a pick of me and

494
00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:44,480
Speaker 6: my kids huddled around the floor with the board in

495
00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:47,320
Speaker 6: the middle. My brother in law replied by saying only

496
00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:50,080
Speaker 6: you can turn a guarded tool into a housewife. My

497
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:53,080
Speaker 6: husband immediately said he thought his brother might be drinking

498
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:53,600
Speaker 6: or something.

499
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:54,800
Speaker 5: When he showed it to me.

500
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,960
Speaker 6: I was shocked at the sheer randomness of being insulted

501
00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:58,280
Speaker 6: like that.

502
00:20:58,440 --> 00:20:59,840
Speaker 5: We didn't want to ruin the kids night.

503
00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:01,840
Speaker 6: We agreed to talk to my brother in law later,

504
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:04,520
Speaker 6: but in the meantime, my husband responded by saying that

505
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:06,919
Speaker 6: wasn't funny and asking if he has a problem with

506
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:08,960
Speaker 6: me or was trying to rile him up. Brother in

507
00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:11,720
Speaker 6: law just deleted it and didn't respond. Once the kids

508
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,520
Speaker 6: were in their room and it was just us, my

509
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:15,480
Speaker 6: husband tried to reach out to my brother in law,

510
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:18,000
Speaker 6: but he ignored his calls and texts. He assured me

511
00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:20,720
Speaker 6: that his brother was feeling bad over it and probably

512
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:22,640
Speaker 6: wasn't thinking when he said it, and he'd get things

513
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:25,240
Speaker 6: cleared up soon enough. The day after, my husband tried

514
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:27,080
Speaker 6: to figure out what had crawled up my brother in

515
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:30,920
Speaker 6: law's butt, and somehow his explanation just made things worth

516
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:33,560
Speaker 6: saying he was just jealous because I don't look like

517
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:36,239
Speaker 6: a typical housewife, but I'm so good at it, and

518
00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:39,159
Speaker 6: how that picture reminded him of how far he is

519
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:41,560
Speaker 6: from having a family of his own, and then he

520
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:44,200
Speaker 6: doubled down on how out of place I.

521
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:45,600
Speaker 2: Looked, Oh, so he's moron.

522
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,880
Speaker 6: He's the moron, and he's jealous of the freaking baddie

523
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,399
Speaker 6: that his brother got. The out of place comment was

524
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:54,240
Speaker 6: in reference to me not having cleaned my dark lipstick off,

525
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:57,600
Speaker 6: holding what looked like a cocktail drink just fruit juice,

526
00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:00,159
Speaker 6: and wearing a nice top while my kids were in

527
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:04,199
Speaker 6: homier outfits. For context, we were playing freaking clue and

528
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:07,119
Speaker 6: my husband and I had come back from having coffee

529
00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:09,800
Speaker 6: with friends, and I thought that I could role play

530
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:13,639
Speaker 6: as socialite, so I didn't switch to something more comfy. That,

531
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,320
Speaker 6: along with my shoulder back tattoo, meant I had no

532
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:20,080
Speaker 6: business being in a comfy, cozy family picture. Apparently, brother

533
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:22,520
Speaker 6: in law said over and over again how it was

534
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:25,480
Speaker 6: a crappy joke, but I still felt like he had

535
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:28,200
Speaker 6: or has some personal problem with me. My husband told

536
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:30,199
Speaker 6: him to sort himself out and reach back when he

537
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:33,359
Speaker 6: had a real apology. So then he contacted me, wrote

538
00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:35,960
Speaker 6: a whole paragraph saying how sorry he is and how

539
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:38,760
Speaker 6: he hates how he's put his brother in awkward place,

540
00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:41,960
Speaker 6: and how I know that he respects and cares about

541
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,200
Speaker 6: me and how I'm family. I told him I felt

542
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:46,240
Speaker 6: that there was more to it, and I'd be willing

543
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:49,280
Speaker 6: to forgive him, but first he had to be completely honest.

544
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:52,080
Speaker 6: He replied by going on a weird tangent about how

545
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,560
Speaker 6: I don't fit the profile of a regular great housewife

546
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:57,080
Speaker 6: and how my husband is lucky. He got the best

547
00:22:57,119 --> 00:22:59,880
Speaker 6: of both worlds, and the more I asked for context,

548
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:02,520
Speaker 6: the stranger and weirder it got. I didn't want him

549
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,639
Speaker 6: in our house last week for my son's birthday, and

550
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:07,600
Speaker 6: knowing that he just texted my brother how he'd promised

551
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:09,840
Speaker 6: to take us all to a theme park when things

552
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:12,280
Speaker 6: went back to normal. My husband told me that it's

553
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:14,399
Speaker 6: been three weeks and how my brother in law has

554
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:16,960
Speaker 6: apologized over a dozen times now and if we could

555
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:19,359
Speaker 6: all just get along again. I told him he can't

556
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:22,040
Speaker 6: dictate when I should forgive someone else, and that maybe

557
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,400
Speaker 6: I never will. And my husband told me that that's

558
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:28,160
Speaker 6: an overreaction over a few stupid comments that my brother

559
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,440
Speaker 6: in law obviously didn't mean.

560
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 5: But we do have an update.

561
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:32,040
Speaker 2: Oh WHOA.

562
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:35,359
Speaker 3: I agree that that completely cutting off the brother in

563
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:38,800
Speaker 3: law with all the given context would be kind of unnecessary.

564
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,680
Speaker 2: I I agree.

565
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:43,000
Speaker 3: Swhack that he did that, but it's definitely not you're

566
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:45,400
Speaker 3: I've never speaking to you again for as long as

567
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:46,439
Speaker 3: I live type stuff.

568
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:48,840
Speaker 6: Yeah, and the fact that he apologized is definitely big.

569
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:50,960
Speaker 6: I feel like a lot of people would double down. Yeah,

570
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:53,040
Speaker 6: a lot of the stories that we've read, people just

571
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:55,720
Speaker 6: double down. My mother in law texted my husband asking

572
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,200
Speaker 6: questions about us excluding my brother in law for several

573
00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:02,000
Speaker 6: get togethers now the aforementioned and barbecue, and I told

574
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:03,800
Speaker 6: my husband that he'd have to tell his mom.

575
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:04,520
Speaker 4: He told me he.

576
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:06,960
Speaker 6: Needed to talk to me first before explaining things to her.

577
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:09,400
Speaker 6: I expected he'd tell me my brother in law had

578
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:12,199
Speaker 6: told my mother in law his own distorted version, or

579
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:14,760
Speaker 6: that we needed to be careful on how we explained

580
00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:16,919
Speaker 6: things to my mother in law. Instead, he told me

581
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,760
Speaker 6: he had an inside joke years back with his brother

582
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:22,000
Speaker 6: in law and a few friends about me being a

583
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:26,240
Speaker 6: one night stand turned serious girlfriend and how it was stupid, immature,

584
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:28,840
Speaker 6: and something he's embarrassed about now. He said that he

585
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:31,520
Speaker 6: didn't even connect the dots when my brother in law

586
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:35,120
Speaker 6: made the garden tool to housewife comment and it wasn't

587
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:37,479
Speaker 6: until my brother in law spelled it out for him

588
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:40,760
Speaker 6: in a later conversation. For weeks, he was hoping that

589
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:43,280
Speaker 6: I'd either just forgive and forget because he didn't know

590
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:46,119
Speaker 6: how to tell me. My first reaction was confusion. I

591
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:48,800
Speaker 6: told my husband, why would you ever tell people that

592
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:51,720
Speaker 6: if we were first friends and then dated we met

593
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:54,240
Speaker 6: in college and didn't have our first date until over

594
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:54,960
Speaker 6: a year later.

595
00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:55,560
Speaker 2: He said he just.

596
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,800
Speaker 6: Wanted to impress his boys, and that he was a

597
00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:00,560
Speaker 6: stupid twenty something idiot. That just he made me ask

598
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 6: some more questions, like why wasn't his brother in high

599
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,440
Speaker 6: school back then? Why would he even be telling his

600
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:10,080
Speaker 6: teenage brother about made up college conquest. He said he

601
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:13,000
Speaker 6: was just summing things up, but basically he told one

602
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,480
Speaker 6: of his friends, who then told somebody else and it

603
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:18,439
Speaker 6: reached his brother. Then he tried to further add to

604
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:21,040
Speaker 6: that jumbled mess by saying that it was a running

605
00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:24,040
Speaker 6: joke that stopped when we became serious, and how it

606
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:27,119
Speaker 6: was really about his friends rubing him instead of me.

607
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:29,840
Speaker 6: I felt that he was just making this stuff up,

608
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:32,080
Speaker 6: so I just shut the whole thing down and asked

609
00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:34,560
Speaker 6: him why he is so desperate to take the fall

610
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:36,639
Speaker 6: for something that his brother said. I told him I'm

611
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:38,680
Speaker 6: not out to get his brother or wish him ill.

612
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:42,240
Speaker 6: I just wanted space. My husband stayed defensive and said

613
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,719
Speaker 6: his brother will never say something like that again, and

614
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:47,080
Speaker 6: that I'm making it sound like I'm afraid he'll hurt me.

615
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:49,840
Speaker 6: This led to a senseless back and forth, with me

616
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,080
Speaker 6: saying over and over again that I just wanted space

617
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,800
Speaker 6: and him saying that it's been long enough and enough

618
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:57,800
Speaker 6: time has passed for me to get over this. I

619
00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,159
Speaker 6: eventually snapped and said that if he's not going to

620
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,960
Speaker 6: tell me what has him so desperate for his family

621
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:05,320
Speaker 6: to not find out about his brother in law insulting

622
00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:07,400
Speaker 6: me and me wanting to be away from him, then

623
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:09,919
Speaker 6: I'll just tell my in laws myself. He said that

624
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,400
Speaker 6: he's telling the truth and that he just doesn't want

625
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:15,160
Speaker 6: to give his mom an excuse to give his brother

626
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:17,439
Speaker 6: more grief, as things between my brother in law and

627
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:20,560
Speaker 6: his parents are apparently already tense. He said that he

628
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:23,400
Speaker 6: understands that I'm angry, but asked me to please understand

629
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:25,600
Speaker 6: that my brother in law is in a bad place

630
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:28,200
Speaker 6: and doesn't want to uproot the only support that he has.

631
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:31,080
Speaker 6: He then started crying, which I didn't expect, and said

632
00:26:31,119 --> 00:26:33,119
Speaker 6: that he feels like my brother in law is in

633
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:36,080
Speaker 6: a worse place mentally than what any of us know,

634
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 6: and to please just be patient with him right now.

635
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:40,399
Speaker 6: I didn't want to keep arguing after that, and agree

636
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:42,600
Speaker 6: to just let him tell his mother whatever he wants

637
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:45,119
Speaker 6: in the meantime, and that I don't have to speak

638
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:47,679
Speaker 6: or be near my brother in law until I say so.

639
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 6: This was all on the car ride back to the

640
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,359
Speaker 6: house earlier today, and we agreed to talk more about

641
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:54,879
Speaker 6: this when we get some privacy. Right now, he's watching

642
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:57,200
Speaker 6: TV with our kids while I'm in our room. In

643
00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,479
Speaker 6: like two hours, we'll go out to eat and probably

644
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:02,200
Speaker 6: won't be in the mood for a heavy conversation later tonight,

645
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,560
Speaker 6: which is fine, because right now my thoughts are all

646
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,840
Speaker 6: over the place. I feel like there's some heavy secret

647
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:09,600
Speaker 6: that I'm not privy to. I'm confused over how such

648
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:12,080
Speaker 6: one stupid comment has now brought us here. If my

649
00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:14,800
Speaker 6: husband isn't lying, then he has some weird hang ups

650
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:17,240
Speaker 6: and attachment to his brother that I had never ever

651
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:20,440
Speaker 6: seen before. I just don't know what to think. WHOA Okay,

652
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:22,280
Speaker 6: we've got another update, but I want to know.

653
00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:24,280
Speaker 2: What you think, dude. I don't know. This is just

654
00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:26,440
Speaker 2: like too weird for me to even think anything.

655
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:29,720
Speaker 3: I think the brother is in a bad place, but

656
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:31,760
Speaker 3: also he is acting really weird.

657
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,480
Speaker 2: I don't know. I need more information, which I think

658
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:35,760
Speaker 2: will get in the next update.

659
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:38,760
Speaker 6: I kind of feel like maybe it is an overreaction.

660
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:39,479
Speaker 5: I don't know.

661
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:42,320
Speaker 6: I don't really like telling people, especially when it's ope.

662
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,159
Speaker 6: Usually that like you're just you're just freaking out. You

663
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,280
Speaker 6: gotta calm down. But she's saying like, I don't know

664
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:49,320
Speaker 6: how this comment brought us here, but like to me,

665
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:51,480
Speaker 6: it seems like you brought it here, you know.

666
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:53,560
Speaker 3: It seems like it was more like a principle where

667
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:55,800
Speaker 3: it's like, well, he said this, and you can't tell

668
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:57,680
Speaker 3: me when I can I'm okay with it.

669
00:27:57,760 --> 00:27:59,360
Speaker 2: I can only tell you I'm okay with it, which

670
00:27:59,359 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 2: is fair.

671
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:02,359
Speaker 3: Then he's like, please just be okay with it faster

672
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 3: so that my family doesn't jump on him, like he's

673
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 3: you know, messing more stuff up. And then now he's

674
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:10,560
Speaker 3: crying and I don't know, and you feel like, well,

675
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:12,400
Speaker 3: now I feel like something else is going on because

676
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 3: you're acting so weird. Yeah, and it's just all a

677
00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:16,080
Speaker 3: bunch of nonsense.

678
00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:17,040
Speaker 2: I a needy more information.

679
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:19,520
Speaker 6: Yeah, me too, But we do have an update. I've

680
00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:22,919
Speaker 6: been asked several times via comments and dms about an update,

681
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:26,119
Speaker 6: but the rules of the subreddit is one update only,

682
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:27,480
Speaker 6: so I'll just make one here.

683
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 5: We started couple's therapy last Thursday.

684
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 6: I have been the butt of many distasteful jokes between

685
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:36,280
Speaker 6: my husband and his brother and more people. I feel betrayed, humiliated,

686
00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:38,800
Speaker 6: and of course angry, but at this point I'm just

687
00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 6: looking for things to move on. I don't think divorce

688
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:42,880
Speaker 6: is on the horizon, but some.

689
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:43,720
Speaker 5: Changes are needed.

690
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:45,960
Speaker 6: By the way, you can change from watching us to

691
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:49,640
Speaker 6: listening to us on iHeartRadio, Spotify, Apple Podcast, what your

692
00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:52,680
Speaker 6: favorite podcast app is. We've got more episodes with full

693
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:55,280
Speaker 6: stories just like this one. Let's go to Okay storytime.

694
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:58,560
Speaker 3: I like that there's no divorce in the horizon, but yeah,

695
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:00,480
Speaker 3: things need to be changes be made.

696
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 6: Blad they're working it out and it definitely is more understandable.

697
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:06,480
Speaker 6: She's mad that, like, this isn't just one comment. This

698
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:09,360
Speaker 6: is like so many other jokes that are like why

699
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:11,719
Speaker 6: would you even forever?

700
00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:14,080
Speaker 3: It was like a pretend joke where it was like, oh,

701
00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 3: your one night stand that you turned into your wife,

702
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 3: which is like he's like, no, babe, that's more they're

703
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 3: ribbing me. It's like, yeah, they're ribbing you, and it's

704
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:23,640
Speaker 3: about your wife, Like, yeah, it's still involved. Right.

705
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:26,000
Speaker 6: In regards to my mother in law, I did tell

706
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:27,960
Speaker 6: her about why I'm avoiding my brother in law and

707
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,640
Speaker 6: she apologized on his behalf and said that she understood.

708
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:33,000
Speaker 6: In regards to my mother in law and brother in law,

709
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:35,480
Speaker 6: their issues are regarding money and have nothing to do

710
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:37,680
Speaker 6: with me. My mother in law finding out about this

711
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:40,400
Speaker 6: drama just gave her another reason to be upset at

712
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:42,800
Speaker 6: my brother in law. My husband's excuse for being such

713
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:46,480
Speaker 6: a pig is because of feeling insecure, which blah. But

714
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:49,239
Speaker 6: I will give couples therapy an honest tribe, and so

715
00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:51,200
Speaker 6: far he seems to be trying to be better.

716
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:52,400
Speaker 5: So let's see where.

717
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:52,880
Speaker 2: That takes us.

718
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:54,080
Speaker 5: And that is the end of that.

719
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:57,720
Speaker 6: The best stories always end in communication and couples therapy.

720
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:01,560
Speaker 3: Yes really, John here og host, We're gonna get back

721
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:03,440
Speaker 3: to these stories, but a quick three minute break from

722
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:04,560
Speaker 3: as from our sponsors.

723
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 7: My friend lied about us having an affair my boyfriend

724
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 7: refused to believe me.

725
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 2: With friends like these, who needs enemies.

726
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 7: I want to start off by saying that I realize

727
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:17,320
Speaker 7: how messed up a situation this is, and I understand

728
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:20,640
Speaker 7: why my boyfriend would be upset and even suspicious, but

729
00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:23,400
Speaker 7: I can't believe he doesn't trust me. By the way,

730
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:26,000
Speaker 7: this comes from going crazy one, two, three, four, five, six,

731
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 7: And if you want to spit your own stories, go

732
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:29,880
Speaker 7: to the r slash Okay storytime suppered it.

733
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:30,560
Speaker 6: So.

734
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:34,520
Speaker 7: I've been with my boyfriend Paul for three years. In

735
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:37,640
Speaker 7: the beginning of our relationship, Paul had some issues with trust.

736
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,680
Speaker 7: He had been cheated on in the past. I made

737
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 7: it clear right away that I had never cheated on anyone,

738
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:47,240
Speaker 7: that I would not, and that I understood if he

739
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:49,240
Speaker 7: had trust issues from the past, but that it was

740
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:51,400
Speaker 7: a deal breaker for me to be with someone who

741
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:55,360
Speaker 7: couldn't trust me. Yeas since those early days, been really

742
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:58,240
Speaker 7: good about it. Throughout our three years together, I think

743
00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:01,040
Speaker 7: I have earned his trust. I've always been honest with

744
00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:03,720
Speaker 7: him and never cheated on him. He's asked to see

745
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:06,400
Speaker 7: conversations of mine that I've had with male friends twice

746
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:10,479
Speaker 7: over those three years, and I've obliged. The second time. However,

747
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:12,160
Speaker 7: I made it clear to him that I was very

748
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:15,360
Speaker 7: unhappy to be treated as though I was acting suspiciously

749
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 7: and did not deserve privacy with my friends when he

750
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:20,520
Speaker 7: had no reason at all to think I was being shady.

751
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 7: I said that if he didn't trust me because of

752
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 7: something I have said or done, I was one hundred

753
00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:28,800
Speaker 7: percent happy to have a conversation about that, to discuss

754
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:31,960
Speaker 7: it and to address any issues he had. But if

755
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:35,120
Speaker 7: I had done literally nothing to cast suspicion, then I

756
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:36,400
Speaker 7: expected him to trust me.

757
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:37,760
Speaker 5: Good on you, Opie.

758
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:40,680
Speaker 7: He agreed with me, said that I had done nothing wrong,

759
00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:45,000
Speaker 7: and never asked again. One of those conversations he asked

760
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:48,640
Speaker 7: about was with my friend Roger. Roger had two years

761
00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:52,440
Speaker 7: before I started dating Paul, confessed feelings of love for me.

762
00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:55,040
Speaker 7: I told him I wasn't interested, and that was that.

763
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:58,200
Speaker 7: By the time I was seeing Paul, I had absolutely

764
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:01,000
Speaker 7: no reason to think things were anything but platonic between

765
00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 7: Roger and myself. A week ago, Roger and I got

766
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:04,520
Speaker 7: together for coffee.

767
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:05,360
Speaker 5: Again.

768
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:07,800
Speaker 7: I want to stress that before this happened, I had

769
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:11,080
Speaker 7: literally no reason at all to think that any of

770
00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:14,320
Speaker 7: those feelings. Still at the cafe, Roger suddenly went on

771
00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:17,440
Speaker 7: this impassioned monologue about how much he still left me,

772
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:20,840
Speaker 7: how Paul was a terrible boyfriend and now I should

773
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:23,920
Speaker 7: dump him and be with Roger, how loyal Roger was,

774
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:25,600
Speaker 7: how perfect we were together.

775
00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:26,320
Speaker 2: Excily.

776
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:29,880
Speaker 7: I was pretty much silent through this whole speech because

777
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:32,880
Speaker 7: I was so surprised and uncomfortable. But when he stopped,

778
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:35,240
Speaker 7: I told him, probably not as strong as I should have,

779
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 7: but I didn't know what to do, that I love Paul,

780
00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:41,080
Speaker 7: that I was absolutely not leaving Paul, and that I

781
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:44,640
Speaker 7: needed to go home immediately. I was shaken up by

782
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:46,760
Speaker 7: the whole thing, so I took my time getting home

783
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:50,280
Speaker 7: to calm down. By that time I got home, I

784
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:53,400
Speaker 7: found that Roger had sent a long, utterly insane Facebook

785
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:56,000
Speaker 7: message to Paul, detailing how much he loved me, that

786
00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:58,920
Speaker 7: we were destined to be together, and heavily implying but

787
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,520
Speaker 7: not outright, stating, Roger and I had been carrying on

788
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:03,000
Speaker 7: an affair for weeks.

789
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:08,040
Speaker 2: Ikes, well, dikes, that's one way to do that.

790
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:11,040
Speaker 7: I don't know why he did this. I have no explanation.

791
00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:15,120
Speaker 7: Paul believes it completely. He has listened to my explanation

792
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:17,440
Speaker 7: of things, but things I'm lying. He doesn't want to

793
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:20,280
Speaker 7: see me or talk to me at all anymore. I'm

794
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:23,560
Speaker 7: completely devastated that Paul would believe this Facebook message over me.

795
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:26,600
Speaker 7: I'm horrified that my relationship with him has ended like this.

796
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,400
Speaker 7: I'm embarrassed that now I'm being seen as a cheater

797
00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:32,960
Speaker 7: and a salute who slept around on Paul. I'm utterly

798
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:36,040
Speaker 7: eight full towards Roger. It's very frustrating to have your

799
00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:39,760
Speaker 7: boyfriend Paul, who again like it seemingly it's because of

800
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:44,360
Speaker 7: his past experiences, but to not like there's you could

801
00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:46,040
Speaker 7: be like, oh, I have all I'm assuming you were,

802
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:47,920
Speaker 7: like I can show you on my phone, Like there's

803
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:49,600
Speaker 7: no proof of this at all.

804
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:52,360
Speaker 3: He's lying one snippet of real advice because we've had

805
00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:54,360
Speaker 3: stories like this, and it's like, when something like this

806
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:56,440
Speaker 3: happens and you're in a relationship.

807
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,720
Speaker 2: You need to immediately talk about it that day.

808
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:01,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, well I think you do. Oh I know, because

809
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:06,840
Speaker 3: it's like, now right, that was the problem. You won't

810
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 3: believe what just happened to me at the coffee shop. Absolutely,

811
00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:14,479
Speaker 3: it's an immediate communication of like, yo, I do think it.

812
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:16,799
Speaker 7: Was like within an hour or two, you know. I

813
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:19,080
Speaker 7: think she was like, whoa, it just happened. And then

814
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 7: she gets home and he's like.

815
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:21,480
Speaker 5: I just got this Facebook message.

816
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:24,560
Speaker 3: Oh I did. I interpreted that there was like a gap,

817
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:26,759
Speaker 3: but I know we could not.

818
00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:28,399
Speaker 7: Have been I know, the same day, because she said

819
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:30,200
Speaker 7: I just took a little bit longer getting home because

820
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:32,520
Speaker 7: I was like shocked, it's been a week and I

821
00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:35,000
Speaker 7: can't convince Paul to talk to me. I know, Yeah,

822
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:37,160
Speaker 7: those trust issues in the past, but I really believe

823
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:40,560
Speaker 7: we were long past them. Comments Coming one says maybe

824
00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:42,400
Speaker 7: a little late for now, but what you should have

825
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:45,680
Speaker 7: done was call the crazy friend while you were with

826
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:48,839
Speaker 7: trust issue boyfriend, have the phone on speaker and ask

827
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:50,800
Speaker 7: him why on earth he would lie to your boyfriend

828
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:53,400
Speaker 7: like that. Comment two says, I think your answer is

829
00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:55,920
Speaker 7: kind of nested in what you wrote. You find it

830
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:58,200
Speaker 7: a deal breaker if someone is unable to trust you

831
00:34:58,200 --> 00:35:01,160
Speaker 7: your boyfriend in the context of my word versus their situation,

832
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 7: without there being any evidence besides Roger's word to suggest

833
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:06,560
Speaker 7: you were cheating, and with a set against your stated

834
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:09,520
Speaker 7: position that you haven't ever done so, has chosen to

835
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:12,200
Speaker 7: believe someone else over you. It seems he does not

836
00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:15,480
Speaker 7: trust you, and you've just said yourself what you decided.

837
00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:19,680
Speaker 7: The consequences of that would be. That is true. That

838
00:35:19,719 --> 00:35:21,680
Speaker 7: is what you said. If you can't trust me, then

839
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:23,640
Speaker 7: we can't be together and he can't trust you.

840
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:25,840
Speaker 2: So I guess we can't beat it again.

841
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:29,399
Speaker 7: So yeah, that's pretty set game, set match done.

842
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:30,919
Speaker 2: Answered your own question.

843
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:32,960
Speaker 7: Opie says, I didn't think of it this way until

844
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 7: you put it so clearly. I guess you're right. Even

845
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:38,440
Speaker 7: if I spoke to Paul now, I would always remember

846
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:41,560
Speaker 7: that he didn't believe me or trust me. I'd always

847
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 7: be scared of it happening again. Comment three says none

848
00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:47,400
Speaker 7: of this is your fault. Your friend is nutty. However,

849
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:49,800
Speaker 7: I think the lesson year is when a friend declares

850
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:52,680
Speaker 7: feelings for you, it is smarter not to maintain that relationship.

851
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:55,319
Speaker 7: Everybody is not as weird as your friend, who I

852
00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 7: hope you are now not speaking to, but it is

853
00:35:58,719 --> 00:35:59,719
Speaker 7: at least awkward.

854
00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:01,319
Speaker 2: Well, I disagree with that.

855
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:04,320
Speaker 7: I don't think it's always like if someone declares feelings.

856
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:06,640
Speaker 7: I don't think it's always the end of the friendship.

857
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:08,880
Speaker 3: It should be the end of this friendship. It should

858
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:09,960
Speaker 3: have been the friendship.

859
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,320
Speaker 7: Yes, I don't think you can do much of anything

860
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:15,640
Speaker 7: except hope Paul will come around. Opie says, I haven't

861
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:19,040
Speaker 7: had any contact at all with Roger, and I don't

862
00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:21,440
Speaker 7: think I could ever forgive him. I mean, why would you.

863
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:26,360
Speaker 7: He Not only did he, you know, lie and say

864
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:28,520
Speaker 7: I don't even know, Like it's not that he like

865
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:30,560
Speaker 7: reached out to your boyfriend and said, oh, I'm in

866
00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:34,040
Speaker 7: love with your girlfriend, he also implied that you had

867
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:37,680
Speaker 7: been sleeping together, which is so disgusting to me.

868
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:41,240
Speaker 3: Well, it's just the whole nature of the lies discussed

869
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:44,120
Speaker 3: from a gross He's just very place of deceit and

870
00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:48,560
Speaker 3: this like fatuation, yeah, and just illusion when you get

871
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:50,480
Speaker 3: someoney in your life like this who like confesses all

872
00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 3: these big feelings.

873
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:52,359
Speaker 2: I do agree with you when you.

874
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:55,920
Speaker 3: Say, like it doesn't have to be the end of connection,

875
00:36:56,640 --> 00:37:00,719
Speaker 3: you know, period, but like moving forward, you really do

876
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:04,680
Speaker 3: have to have like you gotta like really attune your

877
00:37:04,719 --> 00:37:07,080
Speaker 3: like your radar bs radar.

878
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:11,200
Speaker 7: Absolutely, I mean you should be adjusting how you interact

879
00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:14,360
Speaker 7: with them, I think. And also I think there is

880
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:18,880
Speaker 7: a difference between confessing feelings like a crush and confessing

881
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:24,160
Speaker 7: love because love is a big emotion. Weirdly enough, Roger

882
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:26,760
Speaker 7: is not at all attempted to contact me since this happened.

883
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 7: He sent that Facebook message to Paul and now has

884
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:31,880
Speaker 7: gone totally silent and not attempted to contact either me

885
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:35,120
Speaker 7: or Paul. That's because it was the If I can't

886
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:37,640
Speaker 7: have you, no one can, right. He wanted to get

887
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:40,880
Speaker 7: revenge on you because you rejected him and he's a

888
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:43,920
Speaker 7: piece of trash. Common for says, so this guy professed

889
00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 7: his love and you kept him around the last few years.

890
00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:48,840
Speaker 7: Do you keep any of these other men hovering around you,

891
00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:51,960
Speaker 7: waiting for their chance. I don't blame your boyfriend. I

892
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:54,400
Speaker 7: don't like this comment. If I got that message, it

893
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:56,400
Speaker 7: would take a lot of convincing that it wasn't true.

894
00:37:56,760 --> 00:37:59,200
Speaker 7: For someone to confess to an affair that didn't happen

895
00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:02,640
Speaker 7: is quite rare. And even if Andrew, I'd be mad

896
00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:04,920
Speaker 7: that I had to be involved in spillover trauma from

897
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:05,560
Speaker 7: your friends.

898
00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:08,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is a guy who likes to do like I'd.

899
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:11,920
Speaker 7: Be mad if someone crazy was being crazy towards you,

900
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 7: and then they also.

901
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:13,640
Speaker 5: Work crazy towards me.

902
00:38:13,680 --> 00:38:14,279
Speaker 2: Eally, what the heck?

903
00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:16,759
Speaker 7: Why do you involve me in her drama update though,

904
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 7: do you have any thoughts before we uh.

905
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:20,799
Speaker 5: Scoot in there?

906
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:25,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I think regardless of like and we've

907
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:27,959
Speaker 3: already we already said that it was like Roger through

908
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:30,719
Speaker 3: the ranching here, But it is just showing you that,

909
00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:34,319
Speaker 3: like the partner that you're with, Paul, he's not in.

910
00:38:34,239 --> 00:38:35,279
Speaker 2: A place where he can trust you.

911
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:37,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, and if that's a prerequisite of y'all being together,

912
00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:41,600
Speaker 3: well now you've realized you guys aren't really know mental

913
00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:44,239
Speaker 3: to be dating right now anyway. Yeah, so in a

914
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:46,960
Speaker 3: way you almost have to chalk it up to just

915
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:49,640
Speaker 3: be like, thanks Universe, you know whatever.

916
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:52,080
Speaker 7: Given me a sign after three years he doesn't trust me.

917
00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 7: But anyway, there's an update. I want to thank everyone

918
00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:58,040
Speaker 7: so much for commenting. Before I post what happened. I

919
00:38:58,080 --> 00:38:59,919
Speaker 7: just want to address a few things that I didn't

920
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:03,239
Speaker 7: get to in the first post. First, Paul knew I

921
00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 7: was having coffee with Roger. It wasn't some kind of

922
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:09,160
Speaker 7: secret thing. Paul's female friends. He has lunch or coffee

923
00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:12,840
Speaker 7: with the loan too, so this isn't unusual in our relationship. Second,

924
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:15,600
Speaker 7: Paul did not know that Roger had said he loved

925
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:16,680
Speaker 7: me five years ago.

926
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:18,480
Speaker 5: I definitely made.

927
00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:20,640
Speaker 7: A mistake not telling him that, But honestly, it was

928
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:23,759
Speaker 7: so long ago, and to my obviously wrong knowledge was

929
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:27,480
Speaker 7: old history. We did not extensively discuss our past, so

930
00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:29,719
Speaker 7: there wasn't really a natural point where it would have

931
00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:31,680
Speaker 7: come up, and it just never occurred to me to

932
00:39:31,719 --> 00:39:34,759
Speaker 7: say anything. I mean, honestly, yeah, I kind of like

933
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:36,840
Speaker 7: if it was like a one time thing, right, I

934
00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:38,120
Speaker 7: kind of I understand that.

935
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:41,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm never going to be no relationship. I'm never

936
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:43,600
Speaker 3: going to be like, hey, so here's every person who's

937
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:44,080
Speaker 3: ever told me.

938
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:45,960
Speaker 2: They love me. There would be so many people, do

939
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:47,040
Speaker 2: you want it alphabetical?

940
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:51,360
Speaker 7: Finally, Roger and I did not have a particularly intense friendship.

941
00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:54,400
Speaker 7: It's not like we were texting constantly our best buddies.

942
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:56,759
Speaker 7: We hung out occasionally and would be in touch if

943
00:39:56,760 --> 00:40:00,840
Speaker 7: something relevant came up, but we didn't just jat randomly anyway.

944
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:03,200
Speaker 7: With that up being said, I took the advice of

945
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:05,360
Speaker 7: some redditors, and when I was a little calmer, I

946
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:09,080
Speaker 7: Facebook messaged Roger asking him why he lied. He responded

947
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:11,800
Speaker 7: with what do you mean, at which point I started

948
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:14,840
Speaker 7: pressing him harder. He responded only with one word answers

949
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:17,560
Speaker 7: and honestly didn't reply to most of my messages at all.

950
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:20,680
Speaker 7: No matter how much I asked, he never actually said

951
00:40:20,719 --> 00:40:23,719
Speaker 7: any definitive statement of yes, I lied for such and

952
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:27,680
Speaker 7: such reason. Finally I sent him a definitive statement that

953
00:40:27,719 --> 00:40:29,840
Speaker 7: said I had never had an affair with him, that

954
00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:32,640
Speaker 7: I was incredibly hurt and angry that our friendship was over,

955
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:36,080
Speaker 7: and that he was never to contact me again. He replied, okay,

956
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:39,480
Speaker 7: and that was that. I sent the entire Facebook conversation

957
00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:42,080
Speaker 7: to Paul, not thinking it would help save us, but

958
00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:44,200
Speaker 7: just to try and clear my name, which is fair.

959
00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:46,239
Speaker 7: I mean, like, even if you don't want to be

960
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:49,319
Speaker 7: with Paul anymore, I wouldn't want by like an X

961
00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:51,040
Speaker 7: of mine to be like, yeah, she cheated on me

962
00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:55,160
Speaker 7: like that. That's it's not a good look. In the message,

963
00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:57,799
Speaker 7: I asked him if Roger's reactions to my questions and

964
00:40:57,840 --> 00:40:59,600
Speaker 7: my response to Roger was in line with what he

965
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:04,200
Speaker 7: would DOATPEC if Roger's accusations were true. Paul didn't respond

966
00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:06,960
Speaker 7: that day, but the next day he called me. Paul

967
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:09,000
Speaker 7: basically said that the more he thought about it, the

968
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:11,960
Speaker 7: more he believed me, and that the conversation between Roger

969
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:15,400
Speaker 7: and I helped him believe that that Roger's responses didn't

970
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:17,839
Speaker 7: make sense and that he now thought nothing had gone

971
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:21,719
Speaker 7: on too late. Oh, however, he said, despite that, the

972
00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:23,799
Speaker 7: trust was broken between us and he couldn't bet with me.

973
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:26,839
Speaker 7: I got pretty mad and yelled at him, asking why

974
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:30,839
Speaker 7: I was being punished for nothing, and he just basically disengaged.

975
00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:31,000
Speaker 5: From the discussion.

976
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:34,280
Speaker 3: But being punished, you got to say, thank you, Universe.

977
00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:37,360
Speaker 3: Ye're not having me waste more of my time.

978
00:41:37,480 --> 00:41:39,480
Speaker 7: This is not a punishment. This is a you are

979
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:41,840
Speaker 7: being saved from this pause.

980
00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:43,840
Speaker 2: It feels like one, but in reality.

981
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:46,279
Speaker 7: It's just not not my finest moment. I know. I

982
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:49,440
Speaker 7: was just so overwhelmed with frustration. We did eventually end

983
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:53,040
Speaker 7: the conversation calmly, if not amiably, and he is dropping

984
00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:54,840
Speaker 7: off the stuff that I had left at his apartment

985
00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:55,960
Speaker 7: later this week.

986
00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:57,680
Speaker 5: But you can drop yourself off.

987
00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:00,759
Speaker 7: To listen to full episodes of stories just like this,

988
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:04,800
Speaker 7: just go to Spotify, Apple Podcast, or iHeartRadio and search

989
00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:07,359
Speaker 7: a focus story time. But there's a wee bit left

990
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:08,000
Speaker 7: to the story.

991
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:09,880
Speaker 5: Do you have any final thoughts?

992
00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:12,920
Speaker 2: Don't jump to conclusions.

993
00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:17,640
Speaker 3: Don't jump to conclusions, gather you evidence. I'm probably calling

994
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:24,000
Speaker 3: the guy accusing, right, Yeah, Like, if I'm Paul and

995
00:42:24,239 --> 00:42:27,680
Speaker 3: I'm nervous, I'm gonna be like, all right, let me

996
00:42:27,719 --> 00:42:29,279
Speaker 3: see how tight this guy's story is.

997
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:31,799
Speaker 7: Yeah, okay, when did it start? When did But it

998
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:33,480
Speaker 7: seems like he just kind of I don't know if

999
00:42:33,480 --> 00:42:35,360
Speaker 7: Paul tried to message him back, but it seems to go.

1000
00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:37,560
Speaker 7: He said that he just kind of stopped talking to

1001
00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:38,040
Speaker 7: both both.

1002
00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:39,759
Speaker 3: I mean, of course, but I'm just saying, if I'm

1003
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:41,320
Speaker 3: in a situation where it's like and no, I'm presented

1004
00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:44,160
Speaker 3: with this information, yeah, I'm going to the person accusing, yeah,

1005
00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:47,200
Speaker 3: and saying that if they're like involved with it, so

1006
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:48,520
Speaker 3: when it happened, like what is that?

1007
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:51,239
Speaker 2: Blah blah blah, Like what does their right butt cheek

1008
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:51,640
Speaker 2: look like?

1009
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:53,880
Speaker 7: That's what I was thinking. Actually do they have a

1010
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:54,759
Speaker 7: mole on their butt?

1011
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:55,839
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1012
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:58,080
Speaker 3: Anyway, there's a different there's a bunch of different ways

1013
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:01,640
Speaker 3: you can go about that. That's what I do before

1014
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:04,440
Speaker 3: being like gross, I'm leaving it and not talking to

1015
00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:05,040
Speaker 3: either of them.

1016
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:06,600
Speaker 5: I learned my lesson.

1017
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:10,880
Speaker 7: Not only will any declaration of interest by a friend

1018
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:14,560
Speaker 7: and that friendship forever, but I will never date someone

1019
00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:16,560
Speaker 7: who has trusted issues or a history of being cheated

1020
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:19,000
Speaker 7: on again. I'm sure I come across as a little

1021
00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:21,319
Speaker 7: bitter about this, but I honestly feel like there was

1022
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:24,440
Speaker 7: absolutely no point to my fidelity and honesty during those

1023
00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:24,839
Speaker 7: three years.

1024
00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:25,760
Speaker 5: Of course, there's a point.

1025
00:43:26,239 --> 00:43:28,600
Speaker 7: You were a good person, you were a good partner.

1026
00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:31,359
Speaker 2: Opi is so confused about this. She's like, damn, should

1027
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:32,560
Speaker 2: I have just been cheating on him?

1028
00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:34,080
Speaker 5: It's like, no, of course not.

1029
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:36,399
Speaker 2: Maybe I should cheat on my mate.

1030
00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:38,960
Speaker 7: I got treated like a cheater whether or not I cheated,

1031
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:40,960
Speaker 7: and both Paul and I ended up hurt and alone

1032
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 7: despite being one hundred percent faith. That's right, your fault

1033
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:45,040
Speaker 7: for being like honest in a relationship.

1034
00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:45,680
Speaker 2: That's Paul.

1035
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:48,200
Speaker 7: Better to end up alone or stick to friends with

1036
00:43:48,239 --> 00:43:50,640
Speaker 7: benefits than end up investing in another three years in a

1037
00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:54,080
Speaker 7: relationship to have this be the conclusion. Wow, Opie is

1038
00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:56,440
Speaker 7: in her fields.

1039
00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:59,160
Speaker 2: Seti Seddi, no, no, no.

1040
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:01,400
Speaker 5: This is not the take way. Paul sucks.

1041
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:04,600
Speaker 7: The takeaway is not that your relationships are always going

1042
00:44:04,680 --> 00:44:06,440
Speaker 7: to be like this and that you should just cheat.

1043
00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:10,200
Speaker 2: That's not the tationship. The answer to this is cheat,

1044
00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:14,920
Speaker 2: no wrong, wrong, wrong answer. You're you're right.

1045
00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:18,360
Speaker 3: You should cheat on every man and make sure don't

1046
00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:22,480
Speaker 3: date any guys who have trust issues already, because you'd

1047
00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:25,720
Speaker 3: be wasting your time. You should be giving trust issues

1048
00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:27,480
Speaker 3: to the people who don't have their meal.

1049
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:29,920
Speaker 2: No, people, come.

1050
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:35,560
Speaker 3: On, no, no, don't do that. That's all jokey, jokes, jokes. Yeah,

1051
00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:37,479
Speaker 3: and I don't ever like the respect. Well, I guess

1052
00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:39,920
Speaker 3: I'll never date a guy who has been cheated on

1053
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:40,960
Speaker 3: her has trust issues again.

1054
00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:42,920
Speaker 2: Or it's like, I guess I'll never do that. It's like,

1055
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:45,440
Speaker 2: stop doing black and white stuff.

1056
00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:48,839
Speaker 3: Everything in life lives in the gray area between black

1057
00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:49,240
Speaker 3: and white.

1058
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:50,319
Speaker 5: Yeah, place, there are.

1059
00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:52,560
Speaker 7: Going to be some people that like, have very deep

1060
00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:56,280
Speaker 7: trust issues that probably aren't ready for a relationship in general.

1061
00:44:57,880 --> 00:45:00,000
Speaker 1: Sam, here og host, we're gonna get back to these stores.

1062
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:02,280
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors.

1063
00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:05,600
Speaker 3: First, my fiance wants to take a week long vacation

1064
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:10,840
Speaker 3: with her ex. I refused, Well, she could just be

1065
00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:15,720
Speaker 3: your X too. Yeah, that's x'es all around. Yeah, I'm

1066
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:18,040
Speaker 3: not sure if this makes me an a hole or what.

1067
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:21,200
Speaker 3: I'm sure jealousy and insecurities are right up there, but

1068
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:23,799
Speaker 3: right now my head is spinning. I feel nauseated, and

1069
00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:26,520
Speaker 3: I feel trapped because no matter how I respond, I

1070
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:28,200
Speaker 3: have a feeling this is going to blow up in

1071
00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:31,000
Speaker 3: my face. By the way, this comes from user give

1072
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:33,320
Speaker 3: Up twenty three. If you want to submit your own stories,

1073
00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:36,319
Speaker 3: go to the r slash show Okay storytime subreddit. So

1074
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:40,560
Speaker 3: my fiance was married before for four years and they

1075
00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:42,800
Speaker 3: had a son together who is a special needs child.

1076
00:45:43,239 --> 00:45:45,840
Speaker 3: I love the little guy, but I also understand that

1077
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:48,640
Speaker 3: I'm not the dad here and he is very involved

1078
00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:51,560
Speaker 3: in his life. From my understanding of the divorce, my

1079
00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:54,280
Speaker 3: fiance is the cause of it, and this was against

1080
00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:58,279
Speaker 3: the ex's wishes. Because of their son, they are in

1081
00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:02,080
Speaker 3: constant contact with one another share joint custody. I've learned

1082
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:04,719
Speaker 3: to live with that. He and I certainly don't love

1083
00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:07,279
Speaker 3: one another, but it's as cordial as it can be

1084
00:46:07,360 --> 00:46:09,320
Speaker 3: when the two of us are ever in a room together.

1085
00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:13,360
Speaker 3: Long story short. She informs me this week that he

1086
00:46:13,480 --> 00:46:15,640
Speaker 3: has found a specialist to look at their son's condition

1087
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:19,200
Speaker 3: and he wants them to all go at his expense

1088
00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:22,680
Speaker 3: for a consultation. No big deal, right, And if that

1089
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:25,400
Speaker 3: were the end of it, I would be fine. However,

1090
00:46:25,880 --> 00:46:29,040
Speaker 3: instead of an overnight or even a couple of day trip,

1091
00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:32,759
Speaker 3: he wants it to be a week's long vacation where

1092
00:46:32,760 --> 00:46:35,200
Speaker 3: they will take their son to the specialist, but then

1093
00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:37,839
Speaker 3: to an amusement park that's close by and a zoo

1094
00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:40,520
Speaker 3: and shopping and well anything else you would do on

1095
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:41,080
Speaker 3: a vacation.

1096
00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:45,080
Speaker 7: Okay, so added information they have a child together. That

1097
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:47,960
Speaker 7: does add a little in context.

1098
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:50,840
Speaker 2: It's not me a child, they have a kid, very involved.

1099
00:46:51,120 --> 00:46:52,480
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's a little bit different.

1100
00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:54,879
Speaker 2: They're making a core memory for their kid.

1101
00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:55,160
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1102
00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:57,400
Speaker 7: I don't think this is anything that I would necessarily,

1103
00:46:57,640 --> 00:46:59,839
Speaker 7: you know, they're not presumably they're not sharing a room.

1104
00:47:00,239 --> 00:47:02,680
Speaker 3: But regardless, if she does this and then she comes

1105
00:47:02,760 --> 00:47:04,520
Speaker 3: back and she's like, I can't do this, guess what.

1106
00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:05,800
Speaker 2: It was never gonna work anyway.

1107
00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:07,160
Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly exactly.

1108
00:47:07,360 --> 00:47:10,840
Speaker 3: They'll be sharing a room to save expenses. She's asking

1109
00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:12,600
Speaker 3: me if I would have a problem with any of this.

1110
00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:15,160
Speaker 3: I basically bit my lip and said that whatever was

1111
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:17,440
Speaker 3: best for their son, I was all for it.

1112
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:19,600
Speaker 2: I know she knew I was forcing that.

1113
00:47:19,719 --> 00:47:21,360
Speaker 3: So she said she wanted me to think for a

1114
00:47:21,360 --> 00:47:24,000
Speaker 3: couple of days about it, but that she did want

1115
00:47:24,040 --> 00:47:24,279
Speaker 3: to go.

1116
00:47:24,680 --> 00:47:26,959
Speaker 7: I think the only thing, the only thing that would

1117
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:29,319
Speaker 7: be reasonable for Opee to say here is like, Cat,

1118
00:47:29,320 --> 00:47:31,960
Speaker 7: I don't really want you guys to share expenses. I mean, sorry,

1119
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:34,640
Speaker 7: I share a room and like, hey, I'll like help

1120
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:36,960
Speaker 7: cover the cost if that's a worry here. But that's

1121
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:39,279
Speaker 7: the only thing that I would be like, yeah, that's fair.

1122
00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:42,720
Speaker 7: If he's uncomfortable with that, here's my problem.

1123
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:44,560
Speaker 2: In my heart, I'm not okay with it.

1124
00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:47,000
Speaker 3: I would have no problem if they went for the consultation,

1125
00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:49,120
Speaker 3: and while I wouldn't be happy about it. I could

1126
00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:51,439
Speaker 3: even force myself to live with the one hotel room

1127
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:54,440
Speaker 3: for one night, but a week's vacation that is just

1128
00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:56,759
Speaker 3: too much for me. I know I should trust her,

1129
00:47:56,800 --> 00:47:59,160
Speaker 3: and I do, but I know this guy never wanted

1130
00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:01,839
Speaker 3: the divorce. She doesn't hate him and has even said

1131
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:04,759
Speaker 3: in the past she feels bad for him because she's

1132
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:07,279
Speaker 3: the one who changed and left their marriage. In a

1133
00:48:07,320 --> 00:48:10,759
Speaker 3: week's time with their entire family unit together, crap can

1134
00:48:10,840 --> 00:48:14,600
Speaker 3: happen if nothing else. I'm afraid it's going to confuse

1135
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:16,760
Speaker 3: the son into thinking mom and dad are back together.

1136
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:19,600
Speaker 3: Somebody helped me out here? Am I just being an

1137
00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:23,080
Speaker 3: insecure jack? Booty and should I just be okay with this?

1138
00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:25,640
Speaker 3: I know that's what I'm supposed to say and do,

1139
00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:28,680
Speaker 3: but I'm not gonna lie. No matter what I say,

1140
00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:31,759
Speaker 3: I'm going to be miserable, and I hate that. I

1141
00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:33,799
Speaker 3: feel like if I say my true feelings, everyone's going

1142
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:36,040
Speaker 3: to be pissed at me for being the jealous boyfriend.

1143
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:38,399
Speaker 3: But if I give my blessing, I'll spend the entire

1144
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:41,600
Speaker 3: week miserable and honestly the next few weeks probably being

1145
00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:45,040
Speaker 3: overly cautious in questioning whether or not anything happened.

1146
00:48:45,239 --> 00:48:48,239
Speaker 7: I mean, like, just express those feelings. You can't tell

1147
00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:51,719
Speaker 7: her to not go, but you can say that you know, hey,

1148
00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:54,960
Speaker 7: I'm a little bit uncomfortable. If you do on this trip,

1149
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:57,680
Speaker 7: it would make me, you know, feel a bit more

1150
00:48:57,719 --> 00:49:00,200
Speaker 7: out of ease. If you had texted me updates, if

1151
00:49:00,239 --> 00:49:02,480
Speaker 7: you said what you guys were up to, if you

1152
00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:04,520
Speaker 7: chipped in a little bit more to not sleep in

1153
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:06,920
Speaker 7: the same room, like you know, there are ways that

1154
00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:10,040
Speaker 7: you can express these insecurities without being controlling.

1155
00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:12,200
Speaker 3: If this is how you're really feeling, you need to

1156
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:15,520
Speaker 3: be like, all right, go on this week long trip

1157
00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:18,120
Speaker 3: with your ex husband, right, go on it?

1158
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:19,640
Speaker 2: Stay in the same room.

1159
00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:23,160
Speaker 3: If you start feeling like you want to that you're

1160
00:49:23,200 --> 00:49:25,000
Speaker 3: a love this guy and you want to get back

1161
00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:29,399
Speaker 3: with this guy, own that and let's break it off.

1162
00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:35,239
Speaker 3: I'm fully open to whatever honest truth you're experiencing, because

1163
00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:37,319
Speaker 3: I'm not going to marry you. If you're still in

1164
00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:41,160
Speaker 3: love with your ex, that's and that's the what a

1165
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:42,880
Speaker 3: great way to find out if that's the case.

1166
00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:44,359
Speaker 2: Doing this for a.

1167
00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:47,120
Speaker 7: Week if you necessarily should say that prior. But yeah,

1168
00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:49,879
Speaker 7: but the con conceptually.

1169
00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:50,520
Speaker 2: Well, that's where he's already at.

1170
00:49:50,640 --> 00:49:52,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna be miserable for a week, and I'm

1171
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:54,800
Speaker 3: gonna question whether anything happened. It's like, dude, you fully

1172
00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:58,200
Speaker 3: don't trust your fiance. You're fully worried she would leave

1173
00:49:58,239 --> 00:49:59,000
Speaker 3: you for this guy.

1174
00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:02,239
Speaker 7: So you just need to express some of those I

1175
00:50:02,239 --> 00:50:04,359
Speaker 7: think you can express your insecurities in a healthy way

1176
00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:07,879
Speaker 7: that does not come off as controlling or accusing her

1177
00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:08,360
Speaker 7: of anything.

1178
00:50:08,719 --> 00:50:10,640
Speaker 3: I don't want this guy sleeping in the same room

1179
00:50:10,640 --> 00:50:12,680
Speaker 3: as my fiance because he did it for years when

1180
00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:15,520
Speaker 3: they were married. In dating, trusting someone's a lot harder

1181
00:50:15,560 --> 00:50:17,600
Speaker 3: to do in real life than it is in theory.

1182
00:50:17,719 --> 00:50:19,719
Speaker 5: Of course, that is but that's like part of a relationship.

1183
00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:23,479
Speaker 2: And we have some comments here. Number one, you're gonna

1184
00:50:23,480 --> 00:50:25,680
Speaker 2: be this kid's stepfather for the rest of his life.

1185
00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:27,680
Speaker 3: Every time he interacts with his mother, he's going to

1186
00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:30,239
Speaker 3: be interacting with you. All this to say, if this

1187
00:50:30,320 --> 00:50:32,680
Speaker 3: is a family vacation, then guess what, You're part of

1188
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:35,440
Speaker 3: the family and you should go too. The four of

1189
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:38,600
Speaker 3: you will have a great if slightly awkward at moments time.

1190
00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:40,240
Speaker 2: And she really shouldn't object.

1191
00:50:40,600 --> 00:50:43,160
Speaker 3: If you were just the boyfriend, that would be different,

1192
00:50:43,239 --> 00:50:45,200
Speaker 3: and you going might be a little weird, But if

1193
00:50:45,239 --> 00:50:47,920
Speaker 3: you're engaged to be married and aren't actually serious about it,

1194
00:50:48,239 --> 00:50:52,239
Speaker 3: that weirdness needs to be outside your marriage, not inside it.

1195
00:50:52,239 --> 00:50:54,480
Speaker 3: It's you and her and her son, and then it's

1196
00:50:54,520 --> 00:50:55,120
Speaker 3: everyone else.

1197
00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:59,080
Speaker 7: The only thing that I would say for that one,

1198
00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:01,680
Speaker 7: I do because he special needs, there might be a

1199
00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:06,239
Speaker 7: little bit more complexity in that. Hopefully he's comfortable with ope,

1200
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:09,200
Speaker 7: but we like don't know what that situation is, so

1201
00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:11,440
Speaker 7: not really we really don't know. Maybe he is comfortable

1202
00:51:11,440 --> 00:51:13,359
Speaker 7: and it would be fine, but I think it's something

1203
00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:14,520
Speaker 7: you could ask.

1204
00:51:14,760 --> 00:51:19,240
Speaker 3: If she refuses and vault and is valuing her ex's

1205
00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:22,120
Speaker 3: feelings over yours. You need to stop and consider how

1206
00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:25,680
Speaker 3: you will feel if that continues for the next twenty years.

1207
00:51:26,040 --> 00:51:28,239
Speaker 3: Comment number two says, tell her what you told us.

1208
00:51:28,680 --> 00:51:30,319
Speaker 3: If she even asked you how you felt about it

1209
00:51:30,360 --> 00:51:33,480
Speaker 3: and then you lied, your opinion counts. Tell her how

1210
00:51:33,520 --> 00:51:36,080
Speaker 3: you feel. Opie says, I don't feel like I lied

1211
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:38,160
Speaker 3: as much as I forced out an answer that I

1212
00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:42,080
Speaker 3: thought I was supposed to say, which is just contry.

1213
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:44,520
Speaker 7: Dummy, which was contrary to what you were feeling.

1214
00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:45,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not sure if.

1215
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:49,120
Speaker 3: I lied so much as said something I wasn't that believing.

1216
00:51:49,680 --> 00:51:52,440
Speaker 3: I know it's semantics, but that's where my head is. Anyway,

1217
00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:54,960
Speaker 3: she's looking for my approval. I can just tell by

1218
00:51:54,960 --> 00:51:57,319
Speaker 3: the way she's asking and what she has said. I

1219
00:51:57,360 --> 00:51:59,080
Speaker 3: think if I make it clear I'm not happy, she

1220
00:51:59,120 --> 00:52:01,480
Speaker 3: won't go. But then I fear long term resentment on

1221
00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:06,359
Speaker 3: her end. And here's an update, folks, I'm sticking to.

1222
00:52:06,360 --> 00:52:08,040
Speaker 2: My theory here, dude.

1223
00:52:08,080 --> 00:52:10,200
Speaker 3: I'm saying, if I was really getting if I was engaged,

1224
00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:13,440
Speaker 3: if I'm getting married to somebody, right, if I'm already like,

1225
00:52:13,680 --> 00:52:14,560
Speaker 3: all right, let's do this.

1226
00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:19,479
Speaker 2: I'm not worried about your exes. You serious, I'm gonna

1227
00:52:19,520 --> 00:52:19,880
Speaker 2: marry you.

1228
00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:21,319
Speaker 5: It's like, if you want it, I don't know.

1229
00:52:21,480 --> 00:52:23,239
Speaker 2: I'm already not cheat.

1230
00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:25,000
Speaker 5: So it wants to be with the ax. They're gonna

1231
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:25,520
Speaker 5: be with their acts.

1232
00:52:25,920 --> 00:52:26,759
Speaker 2: If you're really if.

1233
00:52:26,760 --> 00:52:29,120
Speaker 3: Your position is like, oh, I'm worried that like something

1234
00:52:29,120 --> 00:52:33,319
Speaker 3: could get rekindled from this trip, then you actually have

1235
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:37,080
Speaker 3: to do the horrifying, scary thing and going, hey, go

1236
00:52:37,200 --> 00:52:39,920
Speaker 3: on that trip. Yeah, you know, I'm not gonna tell

1237
00:52:39,920 --> 00:52:42,200
Speaker 3: you how to be. Yeah, I think you can tell

1238
00:52:42,239 --> 00:52:44,560
Speaker 3: her where you're at. You'd be like, I'm worried it might,

1239
00:52:45,040 --> 00:52:47,560
Speaker 3: but you know what, if it does, I'm not gonna

1240
00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:50,120
Speaker 3: hate you about it. I'm not gonna just let's be real.

1241
00:52:50,920 --> 00:52:54,839
Speaker 3: Tell me what happens, if it happens. Thank God, right, yes,

1242
00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:57,759
Speaker 3: it's good. Good it happens now instead of later. Let's

1243
00:52:57,760 --> 00:53:00,840
Speaker 3: get to this update, folks. We still got plenty story left.

1244
00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:03,680
Speaker 3: She came to me today and asked me again about going,

1245
00:53:03,719 --> 00:53:06,120
Speaker 3: and I took everyone's advice, gathered up my courage, and

1246
00:53:06,160 --> 00:53:08,400
Speaker 3: in a calm and relaxed manner, decided to share my

1247
00:53:08,440 --> 00:53:11,120
Speaker 3: feelings with her. She calmly agreed with me that it

1248
00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:13,960
Speaker 3: was very unusual and really felt like nothing bad was

1249
00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:16,400
Speaker 3: going to occur, but since she loved me and respected

1250
00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:18,520
Speaker 3: my opinion, she was only going to go for the

1251
00:53:18,560 --> 00:53:20,320
Speaker 3: consultation and then return.

1252
00:53:20,440 --> 00:53:21,080
Speaker 5: And there you go.

1253
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:24,000
Speaker 7: You expressed, you communicate it. You told her your insecurities

1254
00:53:24,040 --> 00:53:26,920
Speaker 7: without accusing of her of anything, and.

1255
00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:27,479
Speaker 5: It worked out.

1256
00:53:27,760 --> 00:53:31,360
Speaker 2: Yay Ooh yeah, that's the way I wish, you know what?

1257
00:53:32,840 --> 00:53:38,560
Speaker 3: What? For f's sake, this blew up bigger than a

1258
00:53:38,560 --> 00:53:41,960
Speaker 3: god dang Adam Baum with all the ependrama reserve for

1259
00:53:42,040 --> 00:53:45,719
Speaker 3: reality TV. She asks me and I sit down and

1260
00:53:45,760 --> 00:53:48,000
Speaker 3: start to give her my thoughts on the subject. Now,

1261
00:53:48,040 --> 00:53:50,040
Speaker 3: mind you, Right out of the gate, I said that

1262
00:53:50,120 --> 00:53:54,000
Speaker 3: I trusted her and did not believe anything would happen.

1263
00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:57,880
Speaker 3: But immediately I could see her tense up for a fight,

1264
00:53:58,280 --> 00:54:00,960
Speaker 3: and I didn't even get to finish my well crafted

1265
00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:04,040
Speaker 3: speech before she called me an immature child, a control

1266
00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:06,759
Speaker 3: freak in an a hole, not necessarily in that order.

1267
00:54:07,320 --> 00:54:09,040
Speaker 5: I don't trust her anymore.

1268
00:54:09,520 --> 00:54:12,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is making me a little suspicious.

1269
00:54:13,239 --> 00:54:15,440
Speaker 5: That's a pretty suspicious reaction.

1270
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:20,239
Speaker 3: We can only venture how these things were said. Anyways,

1271
00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:22,920
Speaker 3: She rotated between telling me she was just going to

1272
00:54:22,920 --> 00:54:25,640
Speaker 3: cancel the entire thing to telling me to kiss her butt,

1273
00:54:26,160 --> 00:54:28,319
Speaker 3: she would do as she pleased. I mean, she went

1274
00:54:28,360 --> 00:54:30,080
Speaker 3: on for what must have been a half hour, but

1275
00:54:30,120 --> 00:54:32,600
Speaker 3: it seemed like three days. The fact that I said

1276
00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:34,640
Speaker 3: I trusted her seemed to make it worse, because if

1277
00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:37,239
Speaker 3: I trusted her, then this shouldn't even have been an issue.

1278
00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:40,160
Speaker 3: I asked about going, and she said it wasn't either

1279
00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:42,400
Speaker 3: of our places to decide that because her ex was

1280
00:54:42,400 --> 00:54:45,799
Speaker 3: paying for everything, which I then brought up how uncomfortable

1281
00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:47,800
Speaker 3: I was with that. Of course, she threw her special

1282
00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:50,239
Speaker 3: needs son in my face, which I kept explaining over

1283
00:54:50,320 --> 00:54:52,640
Speaker 3: and over how I wanted them to get the consultation

1284
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:55,400
Speaker 3: and I wanted her to be there for that, but

1285
00:54:55,440 --> 00:54:58,520
Speaker 3: I just wasn't cool with the entire vacation plan. She

1286
00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:02,120
Speaker 3: did not understand why, and since I couldn't articulate anything

1287
00:55:02,160 --> 00:55:05,520
Speaker 3: other than it made me feel disrespected and uneasy, she

1288
00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:09,800
Speaker 3: decided that I was insecure and controlling. She kept asking

1289
00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:12,000
Speaker 3: me if I thought she was going to have spicy

1290
00:55:12,040 --> 00:55:14,160
Speaker 3: sleep with him with their child right there in the

1291
00:55:14,239 --> 00:55:17,160
Speaker 3: room with them. I said, of course not. But it

1292
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:20,200
Speaker 3: wasn't just the spicy tango that was bothering me. I

1293
00:55:20,239 --> 00:55:23,080
Speaker 3: admitted that jealousy had reared its ugly head. But I

1294
00:55:23,120 --> 00:55:24,840
Speaker 3: asked her how she would feel if I went on

1295
00:55:24,920 --> 00:55:26,960
Speaker 3: a week long vacation with my secretary for me.

1296
00:55:27,040 --> 00:55:29,640
Speaker 7: Well, oh yeah, that's different. That's not a one to one.

1297
00:55:29,719 --> 00:55:33,160
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well you might have just made it worse, buddy.

1298
00:55:33,280 --> 00:55:36,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was even worse because now she started accusing

1299
00:55:36,920 --> 00:55:39,759
Speaker 3: me of wanting to have spicy sleep with my secretary.

1300
00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:40,120
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1301
00:55:40,160 --> 00:55:43,040
Speaker 3: You played yourself there, buddy. I just basically said, to

1302
00:55:43,120 --> 00:55:45,520
Speaker 3: do what you want to do. I'm sorry I feel

1303
00:55:45,520 --> 00:55:48,440
Speaker 3: this way. I probably shouldn't have said anything, but I

1304
00:55:48,440 --> 00:55:51,120
Speaker 3: felt by staying silent, I would have ended up hating myself.

1305
00:55:51,719 --> 00:55:54,400
Speaker 3: She said her son comes first, which I immediately said

1306
00:55:54,680 --> 00:55:57,120
Speaker 3: is fine, and that while she has no feelings for

1307
00:55:57,160 --> 00:55:59,360
Speaker 3: her ex romantically, she does care about him as a

1308
00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:01,960
Speaker 3: person and as the father of her son, so she

1309
00:56:02,080 --> 00:56:04,680
Speaker 3: wasn't going to disrespect him by bringing up this nonsense

1310
00:56:04,719 --> 00:56:05,080
Speaker 3: to him.

1311
00:56:05,239 --> 00:56:09,319
Speaker 2: Hey, huge red flag. What are we talking about? Her?

1312
00:56:09,440 --> 00:56:12,120
Speaker 2: Acting like this is like the most ridiculous thing?

1313
00:56:12,760 --> 00:56:15,120
Speaker 5: Is now like major projection?

1314
00:56:15,400 --> 00:56:16,879
Speaker 2: You're so suspicious?

1315
00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:19,360
Speaker 7: Yeah, I'd be like, oh yeah, I really don't.

1316
00:56:19,200 --> 00:56:19,880
Speaker 5: Trust you now?

1317
00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:21,200
Speaker 2: Oh yeah yeai.

1318
00:56:21,760 --> 00:56:24,880
Speaker 3: She said my entire thought pattern was an insult to

1319
00:56:24,920 --> 00:56:27,120
Speaker 3: her and she does not know where this leaves us.

1320
00:56:27,560 --> 00:56:29,480
Speaker 3: I basically said that I was done dogging with her

1321
00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:31,959
Speaker 3: for the day because after that I might say things

1322
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:34,400
Speaker 3: that I couldn't take back and needed time to think,

1323
00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:37,279
Speaker 3: so I'm left. About an hour later, I got this

1324
00:56:37,360 --> 00:56:40,320
Speaker 3: text quote, I can't believe you are throwing us away

1325
00:56:40,320 --> 00:56:43,600
Speaker 3: over something so stupid. I replied back with I didn't

1326
00:56:43,640 --> 00:56:46,040
Speaker 3: know I threw away anything, and she did not reply.

1327
00:56:46,520 --> 00:56:48,000
Speaker 2: I'm not sure where we stand.

1328
00:56:48,200 --> 00:56:51,480
Speaker 5: That's not like she's breaking up with the dude.

1329
00:56:51,480 --> 00:56:52,520
Speaker 2: I'd break up with her anyway.

1330
00:56:52,680 --> 00:56:53,440
Speaker 5: This is like whoa.

1331
00:56:53,719 --> 00:56:56,440
Speaker 2: This is an answer to the question in and of itself.

1332
00:56:56,520 --> 00:56:58,920
Speaker 7: It at the very least shows you that even if

1333
00:56:58,960 --> 00:57:01,680
Speaker 7: she's not even if she hasn't betrayed you or cheated

1334
00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:04,719
Speaker 7: or anything, she's still proving that you guys are not

1335
00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:06,960
Speaker 7: ready to get married. If this is how she handles

1336
00:57:07,040 --> 00:57:12,920
Speaker 7: any sort of like pushback against her, her plans or

1337
00:57:12,960 --> 00:57:15,279
Speaker 7: her actions, and she just gets mad at you and

1338
00:57:15,400 --> 00:57:18,880
Speaker 7: yells at you and gets defensive, like that's not the

1339
00:57:18,920 --> 00:57:20,440
Speaker 7: way that you want to start your marriage.

1340
00:57:20,600 --> 00:57:25,280
Speaker 3: Correct, Well, you've now got a much bigger problem than

1341
00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:28,600
Speaker 3: just the vacation. Your fiance is a terrible communicator who

1342
00:57:28,680 --> 00:57:34,320
Speaker 3: uses multiple manipulation tactics like straw man arguments, belittling you personally,

1343
00:57:34,400 --> 00:57:37,640
Speaker 3: name calling, dominating the conversation, passive aggressive text, and imply

1344
00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:39,760
Speaker 3: you're the reason the marriage is off when she's the

1345
00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:42,200
Speaker 3: one threatening to end it and she won't consider or

1346
00:57:42,280 --> 00:57:44,400
Speaker 3: even listen to your feelings.

1347
00:57:44,960 --> 00:57:47,640
Speaker 2: That is not someone who can have a successful marriage.

1348
00:57:47,840 --> 00:57:50,200
Speaker 3: Seriously, there's no way someone who is that bad at

1349
00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:53,120
Speaker 3: communicating and that unwilling to respect her partner's feelings can

1350
00:57:53,160 --> 00:57:56,120
Speaker 3: be a good wife or husband if the genders were reversed.

1351
00:57:56,280 --> 00:57:59,800
Speaker 3: Do not move forward on this marriage until you've seen

1352
00:57:59,840 --> 00:58:03,160
Speaker 3: a relationship counselor from multiple sessions, and you've seen concrete

1353
00:58:03,200 --> 00:58:05,680
Speaker 3: proof that her ability to deal with the conflict has changed.

1354
00:58:06,040 --> 00:58:08,800
Speaker 3: Marriage is full of compromise and disagreements, and right now

1355
00:58:08,840 --> 00:58:11,400
Speaker 3: she can't handle either without resorting to blame, throwing an aim,

1356
00:58:11,480 --> 00:58:16,000
Speaker 3: calling and threats. Anyway, there is another update, let's get

1357
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:18,480
Speaker 3: into it. So, after I sent my text to her,

1358
00:58:18,560 --> 00:58:21,760
Speaker 3: she never replied, I decided that no answer was my

1359
00:58:21,880 --> 00:58:24,120
Speaker 3: answer and just accepted that she was going to do

1360
00:58:24,160 --> 00:58:27,000
Speaker 3: whatever she wanted and I would take that long weekend

1361
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:29,160
Speaker 3: to decide whether or not I could live like this.

1362
00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:33,160
Speaker 3: It took me all of twenty minutes of self talking. Yeah,

1363
00:58:33,200 --> 00:58:36,080
Speaker 3: apparently I'm crazy because I talked to myself. I just

1364
00:58:36,120 --> 00:58:39,520
Speaker 3: decided that the last text would just serve as the

1365
00:58:39,640 --> 00:58:41,040
Speaker 3: last text.

1366
00:58:42,200 --> 00:58:43,600
Speaker 2: Didn't work out that way though.

1367
00:58:44,360 --> 00:58:48,240
Speaker 3: Sure Enough, last night she texted me again and said, quote, well,

1368
00:58:48,440 --> 00:58:50,760
Speaker 3: are you gonna come over and talk about this? I

1369
00:58:50,920 --> 00:58:53,600
Speaker 3: just replied back with there's really nothing to talk about.

1370
00:58:53,920 --> 00:58:57,800
Speaker 3: You've made your decision clear and it's your choice. She

1371
00:58:57,920 --> 00:59:01,800
Speaker 3: replies with, so you're okay with this? I was stunned.

1372
00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:05,280
Speaker 3: She honestly thought that me saying this was me approving

1373
00:59:05,320 --> 00:59:08,240
Speaker 3: of this. I was stunned. She honestly thought that me

1374
00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:13,160
Speaker 3: saying this was me approving of this. I'll paraphrase what

1375
00:59:13,200 --> 00:59:15,360
Speaker 3: I wrote to her because it was quite lengthy, but

1376
00:59:15,440 --> 00:59:17,520
Speaker 3: in essence, I told her that no, I was not

1377
00:59:17,680 --> 00:59:20,800
Speaker 3: okay with this. However, since we were now no longer together,

1378
00:59:20,880 --> 00:59:23,480
Speaker 3: she's free to do what she wanted to do. She

1379
00:59:23,560 --> 00:59:26,480
Speaker 3: does not reply. However, ten minutes later, there's a knocking

1380
00:59:26,560 --> 00:59:29,400
Speaker 3: on my door with her son in tow At first

1381
00:59:29,480 --> 00:59:32,080
Speaker 3: I didn't think i'd answer the door, but I could

1382
00:59:32,120 --> 00:59:34,480
Speaker 3: tell she was getting more more frantic knocking, so I

1383
00:59:34,520 --> 00:59:36,120
Speaker 3: was afraid she was going to cause a scene with

1384
00:59:36,160 --> 00:59:40,000
Speaker 3: my neighbors, so I opened the door. She's almost hyperventilating

1385
00:59:40,040 --> 00:59:42,160
Speaker 3: when she starts talking to me and begins bawling like

1386
00:59:42,200 --> 00:59:43,000
Speaker 3: a baby girl.

1387
00:59:43,880 --> 00:59:46,840
Speaker 2: Do you not remember breaking up with me unless you.

1388
00:59:46,840 --> 00:59:50,280
Speaker 7: Brought your son to like have a meltdown. I understand

1389
00:59:50,280 --> 00:59:52,040
Speaker 7: why you couldn't. Maybe you couldn't leave your son at home,

1390
00:59:52,040 --> 00:59:53,720
Speaker 7: but like you're gonna have a meltdown from your son.

1391
00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:57,160
Speaker 3: This is again, just like from the very beginning, This

1392
00:59:57,280 --> 00:59:59,360
Speaker 3: is just all the proof you needed where it's like, dang,

1393
00:59:59,360 --> 01:00:01,720
Speaker 3: I'm so glad we did not get married because clearly

1394
01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:02,760
Speaker 3: we were not ready.

1395
01:00:02,960 --> 01:00:04,400
Speaker 5: Yep. Absolutely.

1396
01:00:04,600 --> 01:00:07,120
Speaker 3: I take her son and go put on the Cartoon

1397
01:00:07,160 --> 01:00:09,320
Speaker 3: Network in the other room and let him watch cartoons

1398
01:00:09,360 --> 01:00:12,560
Speaker 3: while I try to get her to calm down. She

1399
01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:16,120
Speaker 3: starts begging and pleading and being the exact opposite of

1400
01:00:16,160 --> 01:00:18,880
Speaker 3: what she was the other night. I just simply tell

1401
01:00:18,880 --> 01:00:21,000
Speaker 3: her that she has emotional issues that she needs to

1402
01:00:21,040 --> 01:00:24,320
Speaker 3: get help with and that I couldn't help her. We

1403
01:00:24,440 --> 01:00:27,000
Speaker 3: talked for a long time, and I wasn't really what

1404
01:00:27,040 --> 01:00:30,360
Speaker 3: you would say mean to her, but I wasn't backing

1405
01:00:30,440 --> 01:00:32,960
Speaker 3: down either, and I simply told her that her response

1406
01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:36,320
Speaker 3: to me was unacceptable, that even if I ever agreed

1407
01:00:36,360 --> 01:00:38,960
Speaker 3: to her going on a trip like this, her actions

1408
01:00:39,040 --> 01:00:41,919
Speaker 3: during that argument degraded me as a person and made

1409
01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:43,920
Speaker 3: it very clear to me that my opinions were of

1410
01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:47,160
Speaker 3: little to no importance to her. I kind of stopped

1411
01:00:47,640 --> 01:00:50,640
Speaker 3: because physically she looked to beat down. That is a

1412
01:00:50,680 --> 01:00:52,760
Speaker 3: figure of speech, by the way, I never once touched her,

1413
01:00:52,800 --> 01:00:54,600
Speaker 3: nor would I. We went to check on her son

1414
01:00:54,600 --> 01:00:57,479
Speaker 3: and he had fallen asleep, so she came back laid

1415
01:00:57,480 --> 01:00:59,560
Speaker 3: on the couch for a few minutes. The next thing

1416
01:00:59,560 --> 01:01:02,720
Speaker 3: I know, she's up on me, trying to initiate spicy sleeps.

1417
01:01:04,760 --> 01:01:08,200
Speaker 2: Just like, girl, go get your own issues checked out.

1418
01:01:08,240 --> 01:01:10,760
Speaker 5: Man, you started this, Man, you started this.

1419
01:01:11,160 --> 01:01:13,440
Speaker 2: I'm going back. I want to get her exact quote here.

1420
01:01:13,880 --> 01:01:17,520
Speaker 3: She said her son comes first, when I said that's fine,

1421
01:01:18,360 --> 01:01:21,000
Speaker 3: umm mm hmmm. And then she's like, I'm not even

1422
01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:22,960
Speaker 3: gonna bring this up because that would be disrespectful to

1423
01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:27,280
Speaker 3: my ex. She said, my entire thought pattern was an insult,

1424
01:01:27,320 --> 01:01:30,280
Speaker 3: and she does not know where this leaves us. So

1425
01:01:30,360 --> 01:01:32,640
Speaker 3: she was actually the one who said, you're breaking up

1426
01:01:32,680 --> 01:01:33,800
Speaker 3: with you right now, exactly, and.

1427
01:01:33,840 --> 01:01:36,800
Speaker 7: He said what I am, and then she didn't reply.

1428
01:01:36,880 --> 01:01:39,960
Speaker 3: I never responded, so she immediately she was the one

1429
01:01:39,960 --> 01:01:41,760
Speaker 3: who was like and now this is what has happened.

1430
01:01:42,600 --> 01:01:46,480
Speaker 3: We have broken up. I tell her that the initiation

1431
01:01:46,640 --> 01:01:49,560
Speaker 3: of Spicy Sleep isn't going to change things, and I

1432
01:01:49,600 --> 01:01:53,680
Speaker 3: still feel that we are best separated. I probably should

1433
01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:55,640
Speaker 3: not have done it, but to answer some questions from

1434
01:01:55,640 --> 01:01:59,880
Speaker 3: the other post, yes, she is hot as the lake.

1435
01:02:00,920 --> 01:02:05,280
Speaker 3: So they do the horizontal mambo. After the the horizontal

1436
01:02:05,320 --> 01:02:08,080
Speaker 3: mambo is completed, I still tell her I don't think

1437
01:02:08,120 --> 01:02:11,000
Speaker 3: this should change things. She begs me to give her

1438
01:02:11,040 --> 01:02:13,240
Speaker 3: another chance, and that today she's going to call her

1439
01:02:13,240 --> 01:02:14,800
Speaker 3: ex and tell him what's going to happen.

1440
01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:15,959
Speaker 2: They leave.

1441
01:02:16,800 --> 01:02:18,920
Speaker 3: About two hours ago, I get a call from the X.

1442
01:02:19,320 --> 01:02:21,320
Speaker 3: He said that she told him to call me and

1443
01:02:21,360 --> 01:02:25,080
Speaker 3: tell me what's going on. She now is only going

1444
01:02:25,120 --> 01:02:27,640
Speaker 3: for the one night to stay for the consultation and

1445
01:02:27,680 --> 01:02:30,200
Speaker 3: they have their own rooms. I told him that I

1446
01:02:30,280 --> 01:02:33,000
Speaker 3: was sorry she dragged him into our mess. He said

1447
01:02:33,000 --> 01:02:35,280
Speaker 3: it's no big deal to him, which I didn't believe

1448
01:02:35,440 --> 01:02:38,439
Speaker 3: for a second. Then she calls me to make sure

1449
01:02:38,520 --> 01:02:41,800
Speaker 3: he called. She's all filled with love of enjoy and apologies.

1450
01:02:41,800 --> 01:02:44,200
Speaker 3: And right now I'm confused because I think she may

1451
01:02:44,240 --> 01:02:46,280
Speaker 3: be bipolar or whatever the heck else it is when

1452
01:02:46,280 --> 01:02:48,720
Speaker 3: you change personality so quick. I told her to come

1453
01:02:48,760 --> 01:02:50,480
Speaker 3: over later, and I'm going to make part of my

1454
01:02:50,480 --> 01:02:53,000
Speaker 3: stipulations for staying together to be that she starts going

1455
01:02:53,040 --> 01:02:53,600
Speaker 3: to counseling.

1456
01:02:54,080 --> 01:02:56,080
Speaker 2: Not really sure where I go from here.

1457
01:02:56,480 --> 01:02:58,360
Speaker 3: I don't know if me putting my foot down calls

1458
01:02:58,360 --> 01:03:01,320
Speaker 3: her to flip or if she's just legitimately crazy.

1459
01:03:01,520 --> 01:03:04,240
Speaker 2: We will see where this goes, and there's an edit.

1460
01:03:04,560 --> 01:03:07,680
Speaker 3: I think it's important to point this out to everyone

1461
01:03:07,800 --> 01:03:12,120
Speaker 3: because honestly, I've portrayed her as a one dimensional nut job. Honestly,

1462
01:03:12,240 --> 01:03:16,160
Speaker 3: she's not. This is our first real, true fight. You've

1463
01:03:16,160 --> 01:03:18,840
Speaker 3: had disagreements before, but never has she flipped out like this.

1464
01:03:18,920 --> 01:03:21,720
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, you're engaged to someone you never had a

1465
01:03:21,760 --> 01:03:22,560
Speaker 3: real fight with.

1466
01:03:22,640 --> 01:03:24,840
Speaker 7: Some people never have real fights with their partners.

1467
01:03:25,120 --> 01:03:28,360
Speaker 2: I feel like that's like a prerequisite to getting engaged.

1468
01:03:28,440 --> 01:03:31,480
Speaker 7: I think some people are really really good at like conversations,

1469
01:03:31,960 --> 01:03:34,440
Speaker 7: or some people are really bad at conversations, and so

1470
01:03:34,480 --> 01:03:35,920
Speaker 7: they never actually bring up.

1471
01:03:35,920 --> 01:03:37,520
Speaker 2: Well, see, that's that's what I'm talking about.

1472
01:03:37,600 --> 01:03:39,720
Speaker 3: It's like, if you're actually gonna be married to somebody, like,

1473
01:03:40,120 --> 01:03:42,000
Speaker 3: you can't be in a position where you're like, well,

1474
01:03:42,240 --> 01:03:44,160
Speaker 3: I don't want to say that because it might just

1475
01:03:44,160 --> 01:03:44,560
Speaker 3: set them.

1476
01:03:44,960 --> 01:03:46,560
Speaker 2: You need to already be ready to like.

1477
01:03:46,640 --> 01:03:48,480
Speaker 3: All right, I'm not getting married to you unless we

1478
01:03:48,520 --> 01:03:50,760
Speaker 3: can like drag it out and like have a fight

1479
01:03:50,840 --> 01:03:52,360
Speaker 3: and like get over it.

1480
01:03:53,120 --> 01:03:54,120
Speaker 2: That's where it's at.

1481
01:03:54,800 --> 01:03:59,400
Speaker 3: So she has been kind, sweet, and caring throughout our relationship.

1482
01:03:59,760 --> 01:04:02,040
Speaker 3: Her child, who I am growing to love, has never

1483
01:04:02,040 --> 01:04:04,200
Speaker 3: been an issue. And I didn't even meet him for

1484
01:04:04,240 --> 01:04:06,600
Speaker 3: the first couple of months until she knew we were

1485
01:04:06,640 --> 01:04:09,080
Speaker 3: going to be something long term. I would never have

1486
01:04:09,120 --> 01:04:11,680
Speaker 3: been this involved or committed had she shown these traits before.

1487
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:15,280
Speaker 2: And there are comments. Number one, she's not bipolar.

1488
01:04:15,320 --> 01:04:17,200
Speaker 3: You just stood your ground and she made the decision

1489
01:04:17,200 --> 01:04:19,520
Speaker 3: that going on a free vacation was not worth losing you.

1490
01:04:19,960 --> 01:04:23,240
Speaker 3: Comment to this might be workable. First off, she's not bipolar.

1491
01:04:23,440 --> 01:04:25,080
Speaker 3: She quit trying to walk all over you because you

1492
01:04:25,160 --> 01:04:27,600
Speaker 3: just showed her she can't. That's why she quit treating

1493
01:04:27,640 --> 01:04:30,240
Speaker 3: you like crap. So keep that same mindset you had

1494
01:04:30,280 --> 01:04:32,840
Speaker 3: in your twenty minute introspection and act like it. She'll

1495
01:04:32,840 --> 01:04:34,560
Speaker 3: see that she can't be crappy to you if she

1496
01:04:34,600 --> 01:04:36,880
Speaker 3: wants to stay with you, and she won't act like

1497
01:04:36,920 --> 01:04:39,800
Speaker 3: this anymore. She doesn't need counseling just for you to

1498
01:04:39,840 --> 01:04:41,720
Speaker 3: be the guy who is willing to leave her when

1499
01:04:41,720 --> 01:04:42,520
Speaker 3: she treats you poorly.

1500
01:04:42,560 --> 01:04:46,040
Speaker 2: And there's a third update here. What I would say?

1501
01:04:46,280 --> 01:04:46,880
Speaker 5: What would you say?

1502
01:04:46,960 --> 01:04:48,960
Speaker 3: Because getting the counseling or not, it's like it sets

1503
01:04:48,960 --> 01:04:51,800
Speaker 3: a penultimatum, right, Yeah, I think you'd say, like, I

1504
01:04:51,880 --> 01:04:57,400
Speaker 3: think maybe, judging how you reacted to that conversation, you

1505
01:04:57,480 --> 01:05:02,680
Speaker 3: might want therapy. But also I would stay separated longer.

1506
01:05:03,240 --> 01:05:04,439
Speaker 3: I wouldn't just take her back.

1507
01:05:04,640 --> 01:05:08,240
Speaker 7: I think absolutely, at the very least postpone the wedding,

1508
01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:11,760
Speaker 7: like don't don't have a wedding anytime soon. You'll y'all aren't.

1509
01:05:12,040 --> 01:05:13,640
Speaker 7: Like it doesn't mean you have to break up, but

1510
01:05:13,720 --> 01:05:15,480
Speaker 7: y'all are not ready for a wedding.

1511
01:05:15,720 --> 01:05:18,240
Speaker 3: You can't be sure if this is from that survival

1512
01:05:18,280 --> 01:05:21,000
Speaker 3: mode of like, oh I messed up. Now I've got

1513
01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:23,040
Speaker 3: to salvage the relationship and make all these short term

1514
01:05:23,120 --> 01:05:26,200
Speaker 3: changes and short term behaviors, or if it's like something

1515
01:05:26,240 --> 01:05:29,280
Speaker 3: that's really viable long term, to make.

1516
01:05:29,200 --> 01:05:31,240
Speaker 7: Sure this isn't how she reacts every time you disagree

1517
01:05:31,280 --> 01:05:31,680
Speaker 7: with her.

1518
01:05:31,720 --> 01:05:34,080
Speaker 2: Just because y'all haven't been a disagreeing update.

1519
01:05:34,120 --> 01:05:38,600
Speaker 3: Three, well, as I somewhat expected, she calls me up

1520
01:05:38,800 --> 01:05:41,720
Speaker 3: bawling about money already being deposited and that she really

1521
01:05:41,720 --> 01:05:43,760
Speaker 3: wants me to reconsider this and that her son was

1522
01:05:43,800 --> 01:05:45,520
Speaker 3: already looking forward to going on the trip.

1523
01:05:45,920 --> 01:05:47,640
Speaker 2: Bloody blah by blah.

1524
01:05:47,720 --> 01:05:49,760
Speaker 3: She kept swearing up and down that she had no

1525
01:05:49,760 --> 01:05:51,880
Speaker 3: feelings for her ex and that she's committed to our

1526
01:05:51,920 --> 01:05:54,280
Speaker 3: relationship but wants to be able to give her son

1527
01:05:54,360 --> 01:05:58,280
Speaker 3: this trip. I let her talk and gave her complete silence.

1528
01:05:58,800 --> 01:06:02,000
Speaker 3: So finally, after a few minutes of spiel, she ends

1529
01:06:02,160 --> 01:06:06,880
Speaker 3: and there is just empty open air. Finally, she asks

1530
01:06:06,920 --> 01:06:09,360
Speaker 3: if I'm still there, and I say I am. She

1531
01:06:09,440 --> 01:06:11,760
Speaker 3: wanted to know what I thought now, I said, in

1532
01:06:11,800 --> 01:06:14,720
Speaker 3: a very calm manner. If I wasn't comfortable with this before,

1533
01:06:15,160 --> 01:06:17,560
Speaker 3: nothing has changed to make me comfortable with this now.

1534
01:06:18,000 --> 01:06:20,280
Speaker 3: You said you would stay that one night and return.

1535
01:06:20,880 --> 01:06:22,800
Speaker 3: She then butts in and says that her ex didn't

1536
01:06:22,800 --> 01:06:24,600
Speaker 3: think that he could handle her son alone the rest

1537
01:06:24,640 --> 01:06:27,000
Speaker 3: of the week at the park and other attractions. I

1538
01:06:27,040 --> 01:06:28,920
Speaker 3: said that he was the father, and he should be

1539
01:06:28,960 --> 01:06:31,200
Speaker 3: able to handle the kid. However, at the end of

1540
01:06:31,200 --> 01:06:33,520
Speaker 3: the day, it didn't matter to me, as I made

1541
01:06:33,520 --> 01:06:36,120
Speaker 3: myself perfectly clear that I was not okay with this,

1542
01:06:36,600 --> 01:06:38,000
Speaker 3: nor was I ever going.

1543
01:06:37,840 --> 01:06:39,160
Speaker 2: To be okay with this.

1544
01:06:40,080 --> 01:06:42,280
Speaker 3: She starts to lose it again and tells me I'm

1545
01:06:42,280 --> 01:06:46,000
Speaker 3: being selfish, which honestly, I kind of agree with in

1546
01:06:46,000 --> 01:06:49,040
Speaker 3: this situation. I don't think it's fair to be like,

1547
01:06:49,560 --> 01:06:53,960
Speaker 3: you can't go on a vacation with the like whatever

1548
01:06:54,000 --> 01:06:56,000
Speaker 3: you want to call it, the nuclear family or the

1549
01:06:56,000 --> 01:06:58,439
Speaker 3: biological family of your son.

1550
01:06:59,000 --> 01:07:00,520
Speaker 7: Now I see like I do. I don't agree with

1551
01:07:00,560 --> 01:07:05,160
Speaker 7: Ope's decision here. But also I think that he's wrong

1552
01:07:05,960 --> 01:07:08,360
Speaker 7: in the sense that he said nothing has changed, because

1553
01:07:08,400 --> 01:07:10,280
Speaker 7: I think a lot has changed. I think that now

1554
01:07:10,320 --> 01:07:13,640
Speaker 7: she's given him a reason to not trust her. Before

1555
01:07:13,720 --> 01:07:15,720
Speaker 7: she probably could have been like, no, you know what

1556
01:07:15,760 --> 01:07:17,120
Speaker 7: I'm gonna like, maybe we're not going to stand the

1557
01:07:17,120 --> 01:07:19,080
Speaker 7: same room. We're gonna go on this vacation because I

1558
01:07:19,120 --> 01:07:19,320
Speaker 7: have to.

1559
01:07:19,280 --> 01:07:20,000
Speaker 5: Be there for my kid.

1560
01:07:20,320 --> 01:07:23,720
Speaker 7: If she had approached it in a reasonable way, they

1561
01:07:23,800 --> 01:07:26,400
Speaker 7: might have been able to reach some sort of consensus,

1562
01:07:26,440 --> 01:07:29,640
Speaker 7: some sort of compromise. Now she's blown everything out of

1563
01:07:29,680 --> 01:07:31,760
Speaker 7: proportion and now he's like, well, I'm definitely not trusting

1564
01:07:31,800 --> 01:07:32,080
Speaker 7: you now.

1565
01:07:32,360 --> 01:07:35,000
Speaker 2: But again, dude, it's like, let it be weird.

1566
01:07:35,040 --> 01:07:37,000
Speaker 3: And if it's like she goes on that vacation, she's like,

1567
01:07:37,120 --> 01:07:40,000
Speaker 3: I'm actually gonna marry my ex and we're gonna raise

1568
01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:43,600
Speaker 3: our sun together. It's like, all right, yeah, they got Hey, look,

1569
01:07:43,600 --> 01:07:45,360
Speaker 3: we don't even have to get a divorce lawyer because

1570
01:07:45,360 --> 01:07:46,360
Speaker 3: we're not married yet.

1571
01:07:46,440 --> 01:07:48,800
Speaker 7: I mean, it's no longer about the vacation for them,

1572
01:07:49,080 --> 01:07:52,480
Speaker 7: it's about the fact that she reacted really, really poorly

1573
01:07:52,520 --> 01:07:54,240
Speaker 7: and broke his trust.

1574
01:07:54,480 --> 01:07:56,800
Speaker 3: She starts losing it and tells me I'm being selfish.

1575
01:07:57,160 --> 01:07:59,320
Speaker 3: I told her I was hanging up and would contact

1576
01:07:59,320 --> 01:08:01,600
Speaker 3: her later, as at that point in time, I was

1577
01:08:01,680 --> 01:08:04,520
Speaker 3: upset and needed to think I do love her, and

1578
01:08:04,600 --> 01:08:07,960
Speaker 3: I unfortunately was becoming attached to her son. She had

1579
01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:10,880
Speaker 3: been up until this point a reasonable decent human being,

1580
01:08:11,080 --> 01:08:12,960
Speaker 3: but I just felt that I was at the end

1581
01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:15,320
Speaker 3: of my rope here. I don't believe in texting or

1582
01:08:15,320 --> 01:08:17,479
Speaker 3: doing crap over the phone. So I knew the X

1583
01:08:17,520 --> 01:08:19,400
Speaker 3: had her son. So I went to her house and

1584
01:08:19,520 --> 01:08:21,840
Speaker 3: just told her point blank, this is a deal breaker

1585
01:08:21,880 --> 01:08:23,800
Speaker 3: for me, and that she needed to think hard and

1586
01:08:23,920 --> 01:08:26,160
Speaker 3: fast if this was going to cause her to have

1587
01:08:26,240 --> 01:08:28,800
Speaker 3: resentment for me going forward, because that would not be

1588
01:08:28,920 --> 01:08:32,000
Speaker 3: healthy or fair to her. She said that it would,

1589
01:08:32,439 --> 01:08:34,720
Speaker 3: and I said that I was sorry that things ended

1590
01:08:34,720 --> 01:08:36,519
Speaker 3: this way, but at this point in time, I could

1591
01:08:36,560 --> 01:08:39,120
Speaker 3: no longer envision either of us happy with the life

1592
01:08:39,120 --> 01:08:41,800
Speaker 3: together going forward from this. She cried a little, but

1593
01:08:41,880 --> 01:08:46,040
Speaker 3: not hysterical, just kind of a sad crying. Truth be told,

1594
01:08:46,080 --> 01:08:48,040
Speaker 3: I did a little too as soon as I left,

1595
01:08:48,120 --> 01:08:50,479
Speaker 3: because I was certain that this was going to work out.

1596
01:08:50,720 --> 01:08:53,240
Speaker 3: We agreed to split the cost of refunding what we

1597
01:08:53,320 --> 01:08:56,599
Speaker 3: have put into the wedding and cancelations that might not

1598
01:08:56,640 --> 01:09:00,760
Speaker 3: give us our deposits back. And by the way, you

1599
01:09:00,800 --> 01:09:03,360
Speaker 3: can always get your deposit back when you listen to

1600
01:09:03,520 --> 01:09:07,519
Speaker 3: full episodes with stories just like this.

1601
01:09:08,280 --> 01:09:13,200
Speaker 2: What deposit the deposit of your time, your attention, your energy.

1602
01:09:12,920 --> 01:09:15,280
Speaker 3: Because guess what, you get that deposit back and you

1603
01:09:15,280 --> 01:09:18,760
Speaker 3: get to put it right towards another full episode with

1604
01:09:18,800 --> 01:09:23,280
Speaker 3: more stories on Spotify. iHeartRadio, Apple podcasts, wherever you listen

1605
01:09:23,320 --> 01:09:24,000
Speaker 3: to podcasts.

1606
01:09:24,080 --> 01:09:24,519
Speaker 5: Just search.

1607
01:09:25,000 --> 01:09:28,200
Speaker 3: Okay, story time, do it, but there's a little bit

1608
01:09:28,240 --> 01:09:29,040
Speaker 3: more story here.

1609
01:09:29,160 --> 01:09:29,519
Speaker 2: I think.

1610
01:09:29,600 --> 01:09:32,360
Speaker 3: Honestly, do you have any parting words. We've talked it

1611
01:09:32,400 --> 01:09:33,160
Speaker 3: out pretty well.

1612
01:09:33,040 --> 01:09:36,880
Speaker 7: To my Yeah, understand, I think it's just like if

1613
01:09:36,960 --> 01:09:38,080
Speaker 7: y'all don't go to therapy.

1614
01:09:38,200 --> 01:09:40,240
Speaker 5: I don't know, I don't know.

1615
01:09:40,560 --> 01:09:43,639
Speaker 3: I think it's just time to cut your losses. There

1616
01:09:43,760 --> 01:09:47,240
Speaker 3: is a part of me, though, that is annoyed at myself,

1617
01:09:47,320 --> 01:09:50,439
Speaker 3: saying I'm being dumb and throwing away a great girl

1618
01:09:50,560 --> 01:09:52,200
Speaker 3: just because she's going to stay in the same room

1619
01:09:52,240 --> 01:09:55,960
Speaker 3: as an ex. However, while I don't feel great about it,

1620
01:09:56,000 --> 01:09:57,760
Speaker 3: I do at least feel that I walked away with

1621
01:09:57,800 --> 01:10:00,720
Speaker 3: some dignity. Not one hundred percent sure that this was

1622
01:10:00,760 --> 01:10:02,840
Speaker 3: the right thing, but I know for a fact that

1623
01:10:02,960 --> 01:10:04,880
Speaker 3: either one of us would have been resentful of the

1624
01:10:04,920 --> 01:10:07,479
Speaker 3: other after this. I know it's crazy, but in a way,

1625
01:10:07,600 --> 01:10:11,040
Speaker 3: I hope she gets back together with her ex. He's

1626
01:10:11,080 --> 01:10:13,320
Speaker 3: great to his kid, and she is the one who

1627
01:10:13,520 --> 01:10:16,320
Speaker 3: cheated on him years ago, so maybe the guy can

1628
01:10:16,360 --> 01:10:17,160
Speaker 3: turn her around.

1629
01:10:17,360 --> 01:10:18,479
Speaker 5: Wi she cheats.

1630
01:10:20,040 --> 01:10:24,200
Speaker 3: There are some comments here, let's finish it off. Oh man,

1631
01:10:24,360 --> 01:10:26,719
Speaker 3: she had a history of cheating already. Just think about

1632
01:10:26,760 --> 01:10:28,799
Speaker 3: how badly she wanted to spend the week with her ex.

1633
01:10:29,040 --> 01:10:30,559
Speaker 3: She was not thinking about her kids. She wanted to

1634
01:10:30,560 --> 01:10:33,120
Speaker 3: get free trip and would have slept with her ex. Again,

1635
01:10:33,160 --> 01:10:35,720
Speaker 3: it's just all assumptions and it's like, there's one more

1636
01:10:35,760 --> 01:10:38,400
Speaker 3: comment and it's just like again being like she wanted

1637
01:10:38,400 --> 01:10:40,000
Speaker 3: to build a life with her ex, which we.

1638
01:10:40,000 --> 01:10:41,240
Speaker 5: Don't know now, we don't know that.

1639
01:10:41,439 --> 01:10:43,720
Speaker 3: If you're really thinking like, dang, she wants to get

1640
01:10:43,760 --> 01:10:46,280
Speaker 3: with her ex, doesn't she just be like, Hey, I

1641
01:10:46,320 --> 01:10:48,040
Speaker 3: think you might want to get with your ex.

1642
01:10:48,520 --> 01:10:48,920
Speaker 2: I don't know.

1643
01:10:49,040 --> 01:10:50,280
Speaker 5: Your trust is already broken.

1644
01:10:51,200 --> 01:10:53,160
Speaker 2: I don't want you to not go. I think you

1645
01:10:53,160 --> 01:10:53,680
Speaker 2: should go.

1646
01:10:53,880 --> 01:10:55,920
Speaker 3: And if you are still in love with your ex

1647
01:10:55,920 --> 01:10:59,120
Speaker 3: and you realize it, let's just move forward with that knowledge.