1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:03,440 Speaker 1: Hey, Alyssa Sale and this is Jolle. Welcome to the 2 00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:06,960 Speaker 1: Okay story Time podcast game show, the show where you 3 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:08,840 Speaker 1: can hear the greatest stories on ours. 4 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,440 Speaker 2: And luckily you've won the jackpot for listening to the 5 00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:13,400 Speaker 2: best stories your ears could listen to. 6 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:16,079 Speaker 1: Oh you have to do is wait for two minutes 7 00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:18,120 Speaker 1: through these messages from our sponsors. 8 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:21,959 Speaker 2: My girlfriend went to another country with another man. 9 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:23,160 Speaker 1: Not again. 10 00:00:24,079 --> 00:00:26,960 Speaker 2: I twenty seven male, have been with my partner, twenty 11 00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:29,840 Speaker 2: seven the female, since we were seventeen. For the most part, 12 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:32,560 Speaker 2: it's been a very strong relationship. I have always tried 13 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,120 Speaker 2: to make her happy, and I have a major issue 14 00:00:35,159 --> 00:00:38,680 Speaker 2: with upsetting people. Little child of three autistic siblings. It 15 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:41,879 Speaker 2: just makes me feel so uncomfortable. So I've spent the 16 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:46,000 Speaker 2: last ten years doing whatever I can to make her happy. 17 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:49,360 Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Raydon Radar And if 18 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:50,839 Speaker 2: you want to smit your own stories, go to the 19 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:52,519 Speaker 2: r slash Okay Storytime subbered it. 20 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,480 Speaker 1: I'm Sophia and I'm Dakota, and we're here. 21 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,440 Speaker 2: To give good advice goofy. But we don't have all 22 00:00:57,440 --> 00:00:59,560 Speaker 2: the answers. We only know what we'd do, So let 23 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 2: us know what you do in the comments. Yeah, you know, Pisas. 24 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:06,440 Speaker 2: I have organized and taken her on every holiday she's 25 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:09,360 Speaker 2: been on for the past decade. I made sure she 26 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:12,200 Speaker 2: had somewhere to live and food to eat while she 27 00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:13,440 Speaker 2: moved away to university. 28 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:14,920 Speaker 1: I sort out our bills. 29 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:17,480 Speaker 2: I cooked all our meals and do all the washing up, 30 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:19,920 Speaker 2: do the shopping, or walk the dog so she can 31 00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:22,440 Speaker 2: have extra time in bet. I do all the romantic 32 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:25,120 Speaker 2: stuff with the two of us. I've basically dedicated the 33 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:28,039 Speaker 2: past ten years to making her happy and giving her 34 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:31,080 Speaker 2: the best life I can provide. I love her so much. 35 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 2: There are just so many things about her that I 36 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:36,720 Speaker 2: absolutely adore. We love all the same stuff. We basically 37 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:39,959 Speaker 2: never argued before. We've had the odd rough patch, but 38 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:42,480 Speaker 2: it's never been something we haven't been able to work through. 39 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:44,920 Speaker 2: But I think I'm out of state where I can't 40 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:48,600 Speaker 2: carry on with things due to recent developments. Near the 41 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:50,640 Speaker 2: start of the year, my partner went out with some 42 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:53,000 Speaker 2: of her friends to a party. Will stat this party, 43 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:56,160 Speaker 2: she met someone I'll call them Jay. They really hit 44 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,440 Speaker 2: it off and became quite close friends in a short 45 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:00,800 Speaker 2: period of time. You don't have any issues with her 46 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:03,440 Speaker 2: having friends of the opposite gender. Most of our friends 47 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:06,160 Speaker 2: are guys anyway, and it's never bothered me, so I 48 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:08,600 Speaker 2: wasn't fussed when she started talking about a new guy 49 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:11,239 Speaker 2: friend of hers. Things were going fine, but I noticed 50 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:15,560 Speaker 2: she would talk about him a lot. Like any available opportunities, 51 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 2: she would be talking about him. I stopped hearing about 52 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:21,959 Speaker 2: all her other friends, and everything just became about him. 53 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,880 Speaker 2: This isn't the first time this happened. There was an 54 00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:28,280 Speaker 2: issue when I first started attending university. I was living 55 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,280 Speaker 2: away from home and she got close to one of 56 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,519 Speaker 2: her guy friends at her college at the time. Whilst 57 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:35,119 Speaker 2: I was away. She rang me in tears one night, 58 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:39,440 Speaker 2: absolutely distraught. She eventually admitted that the two of them 59 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:42,799 Speaker 2: had started getting a bit too quotes and that they 60 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:45,160 Speaker 2: had shared a wasted kiss one night. 61 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:54,360 Speaker 1: Oh ten years were rough. Ten years and you do 62 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:59,000 Speaker 1: everything for her and she can't keep that in her mind. 63 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:03,520 Speaker 2: Yankes was very mad, but after a long conversation we 64 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:06,919 Speaker 2: sorted things out and after a while I mostly got 65 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 2: over it. Anyway, after a while of knowing Jay, he 66 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,679 Speaker 2: invited her out for a day just the two of them. 67 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:16,920 Speaker 2: Oh wait, I'm sorry, No, this is not Jay, What 68 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,960 Speaker 2: this is not that wasn't Jay. Okay, that was another man. 69 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:24,000 Speaker 1: That was what that she kissed? No, No, it wasn't Jay. 70 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:24,919 Speaker 1: It had to have been. 71 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,520 Speaker 2: She said. I was living away from home and she 72 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:28,120 Speaker 2: got close to one of her guy friends of college 73 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:31,040 Speaker 2: called me. It started admitting that they were close shared 74 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:31,320 Speaker 2: a waste. 75 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 1: Oh so this was like a difference before even knowing Jay. 76 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:39,120 Speaker 1: This happens, yes, oh, brother. 77 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:43,000 Speaker 2: Anyway, after a while of knowing Jay, he invited her 78 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,040 Speaker 2: out for a day just the two of them. I 79 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:47,400 Speaker 2: found out that evening when she posted a few pictures 80 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,760 Speaker 2: of the two of them together. Now, I know this 81 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 2: is gonna sound very petty, but I got annoyed at 82 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,400 Speaker 2: this because I had taken an issue with the fact 83 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:58,280 Speaker 2: that she never posted anything of us together. 84 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:02,480 Speaker 1: And I mean like almost honestly, I'm not even well 85 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:07,600 Speaker 1: versed in social media, like etiquette, like politics whatever. That 86 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:08,720 Speaker 1: is crazy. 87 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:12,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, if she was never posting anything, I'd be like, yeah, 88 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,000 Speaker 2: she just doesn't post, you know, things, Yeah, but she 89 00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:20,599 Speaker 2: is posting pictures of this other guy and not of you. 90 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,120 Speaker 2: In the five years of having that account, there is 91 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:26,120 Speaker 2: one picture of me, and it was for my birthday 92 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:28,719 Speaker 2: three years ago. I felt like she was ashamed of 93 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:31,320 Speaker 2: me almost She never mentions me to anyone and barely 94 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:35,040 Speaker 2: acknowledges our relationship even after this long This also comes 95 00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:36,839 Speaker 2: with the fact that I haven't gotten a birthday or 96 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:39,440 Speaker 2: Christmas present from her in over four years and we're 97 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,080 Speaker 2: still with her. We're still with her? Why are we still? 98 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:43,040 Speaker 2: Why are we settling for this? 99 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 1: And even like a trinket, not even like a knickknack, 100 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,279 Speaker 1: come on, or like a card. Come on. 101 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:51,320 Speaker 2: She hasn't been in the best place financially, so I 102 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:54,160 Speaker 2: always said, instead of buying me something, she could make 103 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,800 Speaker 2: me something or design me a poster or new tattoo. 104 00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:59,480 Speaker 2: But nothing. However, she did make one of her other 105 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:02,520 Speaker 2: guy friends a little felt plushy for his birthday last year, 106 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:05,600 Speaker 2: which left me feeling a little neglected. I also found 107 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:09,040 Speaker 2: out that Jay had dropped over two hundred pounds for 108 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:12,680 Speaker 2: their little day trip. I decided to ask her about it, 109 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:14,600 Speaker 2: as I didn't want this to be something that would 110 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:17,200 Speaker 2: fester and become a problem later on. Dude, it's a 111 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:17,839 Speaker 2: problem now. 112 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:20,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you should have said let me know 113 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,800 Speaker 1: how much she spent on you so I can pay 114 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:24,000 Speaker 1: that back. See is you're my girlfriend? And he shouldn't 115 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,440 Speaker 1: be having to pay for anything for you. 116 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,640 Speaker 2: After a long talk, she told me that she understands 117 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:31,000 Speaker 2: how I feel and that she would feel the same 118 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,919 Speaker 2: if I had done it to her. But as a 119 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:35,520 Speaker 2: part of that conversation, she made a comment about no 120 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,359 Speaker 2: longer seeing friend Jay, as she was worried if she 121 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:41,960 Speaker 2: spent more time with them, she would develop feelings for him. Believe, 122 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,840 Speaker 2: why are we with herve her? 123 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:50,280 Speaker 1: She's literally telling you to your face, if I hung 124 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:52,880 Speaker 1: out with this guy, I would just leave you for him. 125 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:56,080 Speaker 2: She sucks. She talked about how she liked him way 126 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:58,840 Speaker 2: more than p from college, the other guy she kissed. 127 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:01,840 Speaker 1: Wow, yeah, bringing that up again. He is insane, How 128 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:02,480 Speaker 1: she liked. 129 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:05,320 Speaker 2: Him more than anyone else, and how caught up she 130 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,479 Speaker 2: had been with him. I put this down as just 131 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:10,039 Speaker 2: her being upset and saying things she didn't really mean. 132 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,960 Speaker 1: Come on, dude, the delusion is strong with this one. 133 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,640 Speaker 2: And because I didn't want to be controlling or tell 134 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:17,800 Speaker 2: her what she can and can't do, I told her 135 00:06:17,839 --> 00:06:20,120 Speaker 2: she didn't have to stop being friends. Just to be 136 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:22,159 Speaker 2: a bit more wary of my feelings and how she 137 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:25,080 Speaker 2: treats me as a partner. This was fine, We made up, 138 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:28,640 Speaker 2: we came to an understanding until about three days later. 139 00:06:29,279 --> 00:06:32,240 Speaker 1: Wow, you did nothing. You did nothing three day. 140 00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:35,160 Speaker 2: It's been three days in fact, the same problem. 141 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:36,000 Speaker 1: Nothing happened. 142 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:38,359 Speaker 2: I was sad at work and she texted me that 143 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,680 Speaker 2: Jay had asked her to go on holiday to Italy 144 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:44,800 Speaker 2: with him the following week. What did it proposed to her? 145 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:48,720 Speaker 2: What's going on? He is from Italy, so the accommodation 146 00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:51,000 Speaker 2: was free. All she had to do was pay for 147 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:54,840 Speaker 2: the flight. I was not okay with this. I told 148 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:57,560 Speaker 2: her this made me feel uneasy. And after the fact, 149 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:00,120 Speaker 2: I've asked a few people how they feel, and they 150 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:03,440 Speaker 2: agreed they wouldn't be okay with it either. But even 151 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:06,599 Speaker 2: though she said she didn't mind, she spent the next 152 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:09,040 Speaker 2: few hours just going on about it being a once 153 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:11,680 Speaker 2: in a lifetime thing, or that she would never get 154 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:13,960 Speaker 2: it cheaper, and how much it sucked that you had 155 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,800 Speaker 2: to miss out. You're literally paying for the flight. Now, 156 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:18,600 Speaker 2: paying for the flight. The only thing you're not playing 157 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:21,960 Speaker 2: forest accommodations, which you can stay in a really cheap hostel. 158 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:25,560 Speaker 1: At this point, honestly, if she's pulling that after all, 159 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:28,920 Speaker 1: the context of like everything she said about him, everything 160 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:31,760 Speaker 1: that we've talked about, and now she's pulling this. I'm like, 161 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:34,800 Speaker 1: you know what, go go just don't come back here 162 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:36,440 Speaker 1: when you get back, because we're done. 163 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:37,040 Speaker 2: Stay with it. 164 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:37,640 Speaker 1: We're done. 165 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:39,640 Speaker 2: Guy that takes you to Italy, I don't know. 166 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,680 Speaker 1: Man, go move to Italy with Jay and be happy, 167 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:46,480 Speaker 1: because clearly that's what you want. So leave me alone 168 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:47,720 Speaker 1: and get out of my life. 169 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,840 Speaker 2: It just felt like a constant barrage of guilt. This 170 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:54,000 Speaker 2: is where my inability to upset people really screwed me. 171 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:55,720 Speaker 1: Bro. If you know that about yourself, you can't be 172 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:56,400 Speaker 1: in a relationship. 173 00:07:56,480 --> 00:08:00,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, sorry, Yeah. If you can't upset people, then like, 174 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,280 Speaker 2: how are you going to actually talk about your feeling. 175 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:03,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, you gotta be able to say stuff to your 176 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:05,440 Speaker 1: partner that they might not like. Yeah. 177 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,880 Speaker 2: I told her. I wasn't happy about it, but either way, 178 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:10,000 Speaker 2: one of us was going to be upset, and I 179 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:11,720 Speaker 2: decided to prioritize her. 180 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,600 Speaker 1: Well, you learned this one the hard way. 181 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,520 Speaker 2: So she went and that week was heck. I spent 182 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:21,480 Speaker 2: the entire week and just the worst mood. I was upset, agitated, grumpy. 183 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,760 Speaker 2: I lost over a stone and a half and a week 184 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:26,440 Speaker 2: eating became a chore for me, and every time I ate, 185 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,560 Speaker 2: it just went to sick in my mouth. She had 186 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:30,720 Speaker 2: promised I could ring her every day if I wanted, 187 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:32,960 Speaker 2: but I felt like that was a little extreme, so 188 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:34,960 Speaker 2: I asked her to just ring me at least once. 189 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:37,960 Speaker 2: The thing is, why would you not want to call 190 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,360 Speaker 2: each other day when she's away. I don't know, Like 191 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:42,600 Speaker 2: there obviously there are times when someone's like super busy 192 00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:44,600 Speaker 2: and you can't get to the prison, but like just 193 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,320 Speaker 2: the fact that you're like, it's a little extreme to 194 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:50,600 Speaker 2: call my freaking girlfriend every day while she's away. It's 195 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:51,160 Speaker 2: weird to me. 196 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:54,120 Speaker 1: It is weird. What's also weird is that it's like 197 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:57,360 Speaker 1: the I don't know, just the notion will It's like, well, 198 00:08:57,360 --> 00:09:00,520 Speaker 1: if you call me every day, then there's no way 199 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:05,080 Speaker 1: that I could be doing anything wrong, Like, yeah. 200 00:09:04,559 --> 00:09:06,960 Speaker 2: She was the one going out and doing stuff. I 201 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:09,440 Speaker 2: was just at work, so all my evenings were free. 202 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,960 Speaker 2: She had said herself, if I wrung and she was busy, 203 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:14,880 Speaker 2: she just wouldn't answer, So it made more sense foruring me, 204 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:18,280 Speaker 2: but it never happened. I didn't expect to talk to 205 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:20,280 Speaker 2: her much that week, which I was okay with, but 206 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:23,400 Speaker 2: I wanted that one ten minute phone call, which given 207 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:25,679 Speaker 2: everything I've done for over the years, I feel like 208 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:28,960 Speaker 2: I'm allowed to want at least. Once she came home, 209 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:31,120 Speaker 2: we ended up having a bit of a falling out. 210 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:33,360 Speaker 2: I told her how it made me feel, and she 211 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:35,280 Speaker 2: agreed that if I had done the same to her, 212 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:37,720 Speaker 2: it would have broken her heart as well. She admitted 213 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:40,240 Speaker 2: she would never be okay with me doing that to her. 214 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,000 Speaker 1: Honestly, I hate to say this, but it's like this 215 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,959 Speaker 1: kind of seeing these kind of situations makes me understand 216 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,480 Speaker 1: why people like Andrew Tate have a voice, because it's 217 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:51,280 Speaker 1: like people like this go through this relationship and find 218 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:53,320 Speaker 1: that guy and they're like they're like that's what I 219 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,840 Speaker 1: did wrong, or like that's how it should be, And 220 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:56,840 Speaker 1: it's like when the. 221 00:09:56,760 --> 00:10:00,079 Speaker 2: Real question is just actually communicating and standing up hers. 222 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:03,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, and just having like just self respect and being 223 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:06,400 Speaker 1: able to because he's gonna go upset somebody. 224 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:08,560 Speaker 2: The problem is he's gonna leave this relationship and be 225 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:12,319 Speaker 2: like I dedicated my life dwarf for ten years. 226 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:13,480 Speaker 1: Yes exactly. 227 00:10:13,559 --> 00:10:17,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, It's like, no, you were a doormat for ten years. 228 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,640 Speaker 1: And like you literally chose to do that, and you 229 00:10:19,679 --> 00:10:21,760 Speaker 1: were aware of it. You're like, yeah, this is where 230 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:25,480 Speaker 1: my inability to upset people really well, you're upsetting me. Yeah, 231 00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:27,040 Speaker 1: you're upsetting both of us. 232 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,600 Speaker 2: So stop it and leave this relationship. Things were awkward, 233 00:10:29,679 --> 00:10:31,959 Speaker 2: but eventually she decided to go back and spend a 234 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:35,480 Speaker 2: few weeks at her months. She admitted that since January, she. 235 00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,920 Speaker 1: Goes on a trip with this guy to Italy and 236 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:40,480 Speaker 1: then is like, I'll go to my mom's house for 237 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:41,160 Speaker 1: a double leafs. 238 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:43,560 Speaker 2: It's kind of awkward. I don't really like the vibes. 239 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:44,520 Speaker 1: Oh my god. 240 00:10:44,679 --> 00:10:46,800 Speaker 2: Instead of actually like talking about it. 241 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,280 Speaker 1: And like trying to fix this problem that I made 242 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:51,959 Speaker 1: by insisting I go to Italy, I'm gonna leave again. 243 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:54,640 Speaker 2: She admitted that since January she had felt like she 244 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:57,120 Speaker 2: was just living on autopilots. With it being her last 245 00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:59,680 Speaker 2: term at university, she was under a lot of stress, 246 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:02,440 Speaker 2: but also that she had upset me and wanted to 247 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:04,520 Speaker 2: take some time on her own to sort out where 248 00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:07,120 Speaker 2: her head was at so that she could stop doing 249 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,800 Speaker 2: things she knew what upset me. She also didn't tell 250 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,360 Speaker 2: her parents about the trip until the day before she left, 251 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:14,960 Speaker 2: whilst I was around, because she knew they wouldn't be 252 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:18,040 Speaker 2: okay with it. I wasn't super happy about the time out, 253 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:21,080 Speaker 2: and she basically stopped talking to me. I would get 254 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:24,240 Speaker 2: maybe a message every eighteen to twenty seven hours, but 255 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,960 Speaker 2: I knew she needs some peace and some time to think, 256 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:30,240 Speaker 2: so I got over it. Instead. I chose to start 257 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:33,240 Speaker 2: trying to improve myself and work on some things that 258 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:35,760 Speaker 2: I should have done ages ago. But then a few 259 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:38,040 Speaker 2: days ago, she told me that she's planning to go 260 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,440 Speaker 2: back with him to Italy. I thought this was a 261 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:42,959 Speaker 2: once in a lifetime thing. I thought this was literally 262 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,640 Speaker 2: once in a lifetime. You're doing it twice in a lifetime. 263 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:49,560 Speaker 1: Oh, she's literally the worst, dude. Just leave her. Leave her. 264 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:53,680 Speaker 1: You have to have the self respect to go you 265 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:56,360 Speaker 1: know what, I see what's going on here, no matter 266 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:59,280 Speaker 1: how bad it hurts me. I see what's going on here, 267 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:01,320 Speaker 1: and go ahead. Didn't just stay in Italy? 268 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:04,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, I know she loved it over there, because since 269 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:07,280 Speaker 2: she came back, her trip and friend Jay have once 270 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:10,840 Speaker 2: again become the dominant conversation topic. At this point, it's 271 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,720 Speaker 2: the only topic. If I'm talking to her about something, 272 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:16,520 Speaker 2: she finds some way to relate it to Jay and Italy. 273 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,120 Speaker 2: When she first got back, we had her talk, and 274 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:21,280 Speaker 2: in part of that I told her I didn't want 275 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:24,120 Speaker 2: her going on another couple's holiday with him. I have 276 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:26,640 Speaker 2: no issue if it's a big group where she's taking 277 00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:28,920 Speaker 2: her other friends or family, but I just can't go 278 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:32,600 Speaker 2: through that week again, especially after everything that was said 279 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,959 Speaker 2: before the first time, and now that we are on 280 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:38,680 Speaker 2: this time out. And she agreed, she knew how I felt, 281 00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:41,600 Speaker 2: how it would have made her feel, and she agreed 282 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:44,960 Speaker 2: that was okay. But then she mentioned it so casually 283 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:47,720 Speaker 2: like it meant nothing at all. When I brought up 284 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:49,600 Speaker 2: the fact I had an issue with it, she just 285 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,080 Speaker 2: shot me a dirty look and went really quiet and 286 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:54,640 Speaker 2: sulky with me. She left the next day as she 287 00:12:54,679 --> 00:12:56,840 Speaker 2: had to go to her mom's, and it's been fairly 288 00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:59,080 Speaker 2: quiet since, including. 289 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:02,480 Speaker 1: On our Anna versary, Like you might as well just 290 00:13:02,559 --> 00:13:06,000 Speaker 1: have like a bullhorn in your ear, and she's screaming 291 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:09,680 Speaker 1: break up with me, and like she's I guess to like, 292 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,480 Speaker 1: you know, cowardly or whatever you want to call it, 293 00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:15,080 Speaker 1: to just break up with you. Clearly that's what she wants, 294 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:19,360 Speaker 1: but you also literally give her everything, ye, so she 295 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:20,800 Speaker 1: can't bring herself to do it. 296 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:23,880 Speaker 2: I just don't understand the logic of doing something you 297 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:26,880 Speaker 2: know will upset your partner, then agreeing that it would 298 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:29,760 Speaker 2: do the same to you, then saying that a timeout 299 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:32,520 Speaker 2: was needed to stop her from upsetting me at her 300 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:35,440 Speaker 2: friends and family, then less than two weeks later going 301 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:38,000 Speaker 2: off to do the exact thing that hurt us all 302 00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:41,640 Speaker 2: in the first place. She doesn't care. I hate the 303 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:44,560 Speaker 2: idea of being controlling or telling her what or who 304 00:13:44,679 --> 00:13:46,800 Speaker 2: she can and can't spend time with, But I feel 305 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:49,840 Speaker 2: like our relationship just doesn't exist to her when Jay 306 00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:50,439 Speaker 2: is around. 307 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:52,400 Speaker 1: Buddy, it doesn't exist anymore period. 308 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:53,960 Speaker 2: In a relationship with Jay. 309 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:57,360 Speaker 1: Even if Jay it wasn't around anymore and Jay disappeared, 310 00:13:57,360 --> 00:14:00,439 Speaker 1: your relationship is functionally over. Yeah, it's done. It will 311 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:03,680 Speaker 1: be the next guy. Who is Jay? The first it 312 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:06,160 Speaker 1: was p Now it's Jay's LUSA, going to. 313 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:08,120 Speaker 2: Be next same time it's happened, Who's. 314 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:09,679 Speaker 1: The next letter in the alphabet. 315 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,200 Speaker 2: The fact that she's aware of my feelings and just 316 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:15,280 Speaker 2: casually throws them around is really off to me. Everyone 317 00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:18,000 Speaker 2: I've talked to, including her and her own parents, have 318 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,040 Speaker 2: told me that I'm in the right to feel how 319 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,400 Speaker 2: I do, how I do so much for her, only 320 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:24,880 Speaker 2: to be treated like a rebound for when her next 321 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:27,040 Speaker 2: new guy friend gets bored of her. All of her 322 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:29,360 Speaker 2: guy friends in the past five years have ended up 323 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:32,600 Speaker 2: ignoring her after a while, whether it's because they moved 324 00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:36,040 Speaker 2: on or got girlfriends. They've always made her feel crappy 325 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:39,240 Speaker 2: when they leave, but she has no problem still prioritizing 326 00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:41,680 Speaker 2: them even when it makes me feel crappy. 327 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:45,200 Speaker 1: And she's been pulling this cycle on you for five years, 328 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:48,200 Speaker 1: ten years, although they've been together for ten years. 329 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:50,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, but she's been doing stuff like this 330 00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:52,280 Speaker 2: four ten years. My point is she's been doing it 331 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:54,720 Speaker 2: for ten years. I just don't know what to do anymore. 332 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:57,040 Speaker 2: I still love her and still want a girl old 333 00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:58,960 Speaker 2: with her, but I can't do that if she's just 334 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,160 Speaker 2: going to carry on like but I am. I also 335 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:02,560 Speaker 2: just being petty and jealous. 336 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:06,760 Speaker 1: Opie, Well, your parents did a number on you, my guy, 337 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:09,440 Speaker 1: for you to think this. Oh lord, wow, No, what 338 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:13,040 Speaker 1: happened to you in your upbringing? But man, yeah, you're 339 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:16,360 Speaker 1: allowed to not like any of this. You're allowed to 340 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:20,200 Speaker 1: be like the guy you explicitly told me you would 341 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:23,320 Speaker 1: develop feelings for. Yeah, I don't want you to go 342 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:26,600 Speaker 1: on a trip with him to Italy. Yep. Also, if 343 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:30,080 Speaker 1: you are gonna tell me that I'm breaking up with you, yep. 344 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,640 Speaker 2: Oh, I can't shake that feeling, no matter how many 345 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:35,520 Speaker 2: people tell me. I'm justified in my feelings. And there 346 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:37,960 Speaker 2: is an update, folks, But what do you. 347 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:41,800 Speaker 1: Think, because this guy needs freak up like a fifty 348 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:45,760 Speaker 1: gallon bucket of ice water dumped on him, like buddy, 349 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:49,080 Speaker 1: the cold you need the cold water you've needed. You 350 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:52,080 Speaker 1: need the cold water yesterday, agreed. 351 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:56,080 Speaker 2: No, I mean, ohp he's like just so programmed to 352 00:15:56,160 --> 00:16:00,240 Speaker 2: think that he's doing something wrong by even questioning this, 353 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:05,720 Speaker 2: you know, clear breach of trust, clear breaking of boundaries, 354 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:08,960 Speaker 2: and Opiece is like vision, Am I wrong for being upset? 355 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:11,360 Speaker 1: Where does this come from? Too? Is this like a 356 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 1: sunk cost thing? Or is it like this is my 357 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:14,880 Speaker 1: only option? 358 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:18,720 Speaker 2: I've spent so much, like I've dedicated my life to her? 359 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:22,120 Speaker 2: Opi continues, though, to put a long story short, you 360 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:25,480 Speaker 2: were all right, Oh, no, brutal, but it needed to 361 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:27,440 Speaker 2: be m Yeah, you couldn't put up with that anymore 362 00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:30,120 Speaker 2: when everyone I know and almost a hundred strangers on 363 00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:32,720 Speaker 2: the internet all told me that I deserved better. It 364 00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:34,680 Speaker 2: just took a lot too much for me to get 365 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:37,160 Speaker 2: over that hump. A bit after I first posted, I 366 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,520 Speaker 2: sat down with her and explained that what she did 367 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:42,640 Speaker 2: was unforgivable. As much as you will all hate it, 368 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:45,320 Speaker 2: I could have forgiven her for the first time. We 369 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:47,520 Speaker 2: were together for so long, and I thought if she 370 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:49,640 Speaker 2: started putting in the effort and got rid of her 371 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:52,000 Speaker 2: new guy, we could work it out. But to know 372 00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:54,600 Speaker 2: how it made me feel and to still try and 373 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,280 Speaker 2: get away with it again was just too far. It 374 00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,800 Speaker 2: took me way too long to get my head together. 375 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,840 Speaker 2: But after a while of therapy and her ignoring my 376 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:05,880 Speaker 2: texts for a few weeks, what she was ignoring her 377 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:08,399 Speaker 2: texts for a few weeks. 378 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,680 Speaker 1: After you were like, I'm bringing up with you. After 379 00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:13,200 Speaker 1: I said you know, you said, I guess there isn't 380 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,040 Speaker 1: really a breakup yet. You just said it was Dave 381 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:18,520 Speaker 1: was unforgivable, and then she ignored you for leagues. 382 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,040 Speaker 2: There wasn't a breakup yet. 383 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:20,480 Speaker 1: Wow. 384 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:23,680 Speaker 2: Anyway, I dropped all her stuff off at her mom's. 385 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:25,560 Speaker 2: I included a big list of all the stuff she 386 00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:28,040 Speaker 2: needed to pay me back for, then rang her while 387 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:30,680 Speaker 2: she was away at her uniflat and broke up with her. 388 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:33,560 Speaker 2: I explained that the entire time this was going on, 389 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:37,040 Speaker 2: not once did she put any effort into fixing the problem. 390 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,560 Speaker 2: Kept telling me how much she loved me and missed me, 391 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:41,480 Speaker 2: and how when she thinks of marriage, it's still me. 392 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,200 Speaker 2: At the altar, I thought this was all BS. It 393 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:47,119 Speaker 2: is because at every opportunity she had to fix things, 394 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:50,080 Speaker 2: she doubled down on her obsession with her new guy. 395 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:52,480 Speaker 2: Sorry I got rid of her just to address a 396 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:55,200 Speaker 2: couple of things. Yes, I'm really really dumb and should 397 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:58,320 Speaker 2: have got this over with way sooner. After reading a 398 00:17:58,359 --> 00:18:01,360 Speaker 2: lot of comments and talking to my therapist, I realized 399 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:04,520 Speaker 2: I wasn't in love with her, more so the idea 400 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:07,360 Speaker 2: of her what we could be if she ever bothered 401 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:10,480 Speaker 2: to put any effort in. But she had ten years 402 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:12,720 Speaker 2: to put that effort in, so I don't know why 403 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:13,760 Speaker 2: I expected. 404 00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:16,840 Speaker 1: Her to now as a very classic trap, Yeah, it's 405 00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:19,280 Speaker 1: happened to many a friend of mine. Is it just 406 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:21,760 Speaker 1: with a partner. I'm like, why are you with this person? 407 00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:24,600 Speaker 1: And they're like, oh, but like I just see us 408 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:27,640 Speaker 1: like five years from now, like and it's like, yeah, 409 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:30,240 Speaker 1: but you're you got to see where you are right now. 410 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:33,760 Speaker 2: You're imagining something that doesn't exist. Yes, so he continues, 411 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:35,600 Speaker 2: I should start going to a gym, but I have 412 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:38,000 Speaker 2: no idea what I'm doing. So I've started with some 413 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:41,520 Speaker 2: home exercises and it's really helped distract me from things, 414 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:44,840 Speaker 2: which is great. My confidence, which was never super iyey 415 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:47,520 Speaker 2: to begin with, is pretty shot at the minute. I 416 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,240 Speaker 2: find it difficult to get past doing so much for 417 00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:53,320 Speaker 2: so long just for it to be irrelevant in the end. 418 00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:56,200 Speaker 2: But my therapist likes to keep reminding me that it's 419 00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:59,320 Speaker 2: not that I didn't do enough, just not enough for her. 420 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:02,480 Speaker 2: That's her problem and not mine, so I'll get over 421 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,640 Speaker 2: it eventually. I'm doing fine. It still hurts, I think, 422 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,160 Speaker 2: given how long we were together and now it ended, 423 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,440 Speaker 2: it will always be something I feel. But at the 424 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:12,960 Speaker 2: end of the day, it's her fault. She messed up. 425 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:14,960 Speaker 2: She lost me for him, and from what I know 426 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,000 Speaker 2: about him, she got the short end of the stick. 427 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,160 Speaker 2: I've been trying to reach out to some old friends 428 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:21,560 Speaker 2: as I realized I'm pretty lonely. I only really have 429 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:24,320 Speaker 2: one proper friend and he has a busy life with kids, 430 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,920 Speaker 2: so I need to make some more friends. This year 431 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:30,560 Speaker 2: has been incredibly rough. Over my birthday and Christmas up 432 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:33,840 Speaker 2: until February, my mother was in critical condition in a 433 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:38,240 Speaker 2: hospital and almost passed. No, she's okay now and recovering well. 434 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:40,919 Speaker 2: But that, combined with the issues in my relationship and 435 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,880 Speaker 2: the general world doom and bloom. Things have been rough. 436 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,320 Speaker 2: But there is a little bit left to this story 437 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:48,400 Speaker 2: and a final five. 438 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,760 Speaker 1: We got there. We're not at the finish line, but 439 00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:54,359 Speaker 1: we did get there. I sure, did you know? There's 440 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:57,560 Speaker 1: work to be done? Yeah, but at least you removed 441 00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:01,320 Speaker 1: the main issue. I would think. I would agree. Hard 442 00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:03,440 Speaker 1: to feel good about yourself after ten. 443 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:05,960 Speaker 2: Years of this, Yeah, but I hope that you're able 444 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,920 Speaker 2: to like find, you know, people that are more supportive 445 00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:11,600 Speaker 2: of you in the future. Ope finishes. I've just brought 446 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:14,639 Speaker 2: myself a new Monster PC with the saved holiday money, 447 00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:16,840 Speaker 2: and me and my friend are planning a trip somewhere 448 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:19,359 Speaker 2: once he gets the free time. As of now, my 449 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:22,400 Speaker 2: only issue is when to try and find someone new. 450 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:24,600 Speaker 2: I miss a lot of the comfort that comes with 451 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,200 Speaker 2: the relationship more than anything. At a minute, I just 452 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:29,919 Speaker 2: want to cuddle in someone to call me handsome. I 453 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:34,560 Speaker 2: would say, not until you're able to not people please 454 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:38,119 Speaker 2: yike it to this degree. No, no, no, no no, But 455 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:40,520 Speaker 2: I'm just unsure if I'm in the right headspace. You're not. 456 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:43,040 Speaker 1: I'm positive you're not, really. 457 00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:45,040 Speaker 2: Not, as I wouldn't want to put my baggage on 458 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:48,080 Speaker 2: someone else craving for that comfort. Pair with the fact 459 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:50,240 Speaker 2: that I was the one that got hurt and I'm 460 00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:52,840 Speaker 2: the one left with almost no one leaves me in 461 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:55,520 Speaker 2: two minds about whether or not to try getting out 462 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:57,600 Speaker 2: there a bit more. And that is the end of 463 00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:00,280 Speaker 2: that story, folks. But uh, yeah, I get into a 464 00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,280 Speaker 2: better headspace, So p please. 465 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,040 Speaker 1: Get out there a bit more to just meet other people. 466 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,159 Speaker 1: You don't have to, like me, make more friends, and 467 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:09,880 Speaker 1: you can just go out and like meet a person 468 00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:13,840 Speaker 1: or meet a woman and like not pursue anything with 469 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:17,240 Speaker 1: them and just figure out, hey, okay, that's what that 470 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:19,960 Speaker 1: feels like, Oh I'm going on a date and like 471 00:21:20,119 --> 00:21:23,840 Speaker 1: figuring out who someone is instead of being like, oh, like, 472 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:26,560 Speaker 1: I can't wait to make this person someone who can 473 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:27,240 Speaker 1: comfort me. 474 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:30,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't want to like rely on someone else 475 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:33,800 Speaker 2: for that you would have just met for all that 476 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:34,600 Speaker 2: emotional needs. 477 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,480 Speaker 1: Give yourself a big old self hug. You know LP. 478 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,040 Speaker 2: But that's the end of that story, and we've got 479 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,560 Speaker 2: another one coming right up. 480 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:46,040 Speaker 1: I'm dumping my girlfriend because she openly disagrees with my mother. 481 00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:47,439 Speaker 2: What'd your mother say? 482 00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:51,240 Speaker 1: My girlfriend, Rachel twenty four female, and I twenty six male, 483 00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:53,919 Speaker 1: have been together for eight months. We recently made a 484 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,520 Speaker 1: trip out west for a little over a week's vacation. 485 00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:59,320 Speaker 1: Our last stop was paying a visit to my parents. 486 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:02,320 Speaker 1: This was the first time my girlfriend met them. We 487 00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:04,639 Speaker 1: stayed over at their place for a couple of days 488 00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:06,760 Speaker 1: before returning home. By the way this comes from, you 489 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:08,840 Speaker 1: should throw away eight one two one five, and if 490 00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:10,200 Speaker 1: you want to submit your own stories, go to the 491 00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:13,000 Speaker 1: our slash showcase storytime subburd it. I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia, 492 00:22:13,119 --> 00:22:15,240 Speaker 1: and we're here to give you good advice. Goofully, but 493 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:16,960 Speaker 1: we don't have all the answers, so if you do 494 00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:20,280 Speaker 1: something different, let us know in the comments. And Op says. 495 00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:24,159 Speaker 1: When we arrived at my parents' house, my mom said 496 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:26,119 Speaker 1: that she got our room ready and to go ahead 497 00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:28,520 Speaker 1: and make ourselves at home and relax and go in 498 00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:34,679 Speaker 1: the hot tub if we wanted hot to Rachel acted 499 00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,520 Speaker 1: surprised and said something like made me get to stay 500 00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:40,760 Speaker 1: in our own bedroom together. Wow, my parents would never 501 00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:43,600 Speaker 1: allow that unless we're married. My mom laughed and said 502 00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:45,680 Speaker 1: that they were thinking of taking us out for dinner 503 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:48,119 Speaker 1: later tonight if we would like, and just you know, 504 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,360 Speaker 1: let her know when we'd like to go. We did 505 00:22:50,359 --> 00:22:53,040 Speaker 1: our own thing for a few hours, fooled around like 506 00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:56,240 Speaker 1: sneaky teenagers do. I felt good about being back home 507 00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,840 Speaker 1: with Rachel. We all drove together to the restaurant and 508 00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,640 Speaker 1: chatted about what we did on vacation and reminisced about 509 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:04,720 Speaker 1: the neighborhood. At dinner, Rachel started talking about marriage and 510 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:07,399 Speaker 1: kids and said something like, I have to have kids 511 00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:09,879 Speaker 1: before I hit thirty. It doesn't matter for guys, though, 512 00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:13,400 Speaker 1: but us women can't procrastinate. It was a little awkward. 513 00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:15,960 Speaker 1: I wasn't sure if Rachel was just nervous or didn't 514 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,600 Speaker 1: realize my parents had me when they were older, or 515 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:21,439 Speaker 1: just didn't care. My parents didn't say much, but I 516 00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:24,439 Speaker 1: know that they weren't particularly impressed by Rachel. 517 00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:29,240 Speaker 2: I mean, okay, I mean it's rude, but you do 518 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:31,800 Speaker 2: you can't have kids later. But like there is like 519 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,720 Speaker 2: kind of there is a more incentive for women to 520 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:39,600 Speaker 2: have kids earlier because you can have more health yeeah problems. True, Yeah, 521 00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:41,600 Speaker 2: but I guess that would be rude if they. I 522 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:43,000 Speaker 2: guess it depends on how she said it. 523 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:46,199 Speaker 1: I think it was just already weird, being like, oh, really, 524 00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:48,720 Speaker 1: my parents would never let us do that. 525 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:50,760 Speaker 2: It's like, it depends on how she's saying it. She's 526 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:53,320 Speaker 2: like she's my parents would never let us think yeah, 527 00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:55,280 Speaker 2: or she was like, well, you know, I want to 528 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:56,760 Speaker 2: get you know, I want to have kids soon. 529 00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:58,840 Speaker 1: I don't think oh, he would say that if it 530 00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,480 Speaker 1: was yes, it was yeah, you know, if she was 531 00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:02,760 Speaker 1: just being funny. 532 00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:05,000 Speaker 2: Like yeah, you know, yeah, it depends. 533 00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:07,520 Speaker 1: When we got back to our own room for the night, 534 00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:09,960 Speaker 1: I asked Rachel why she brought that up, and did 535 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,359 Speaker 1: she know that my mom had me when she was older. 536 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:15,080 Speaker 1: She said she knew, and that she doesn't agree with 537 00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:16,399 Speaker 1: my mom's priority. 538 00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:19,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, she's weird, and so now I was just trying 539 00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:21,200 Speaker 2: to give her the bet of the doubt. She's weird 540 00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:23,840 Speaker 2: now because ye, people can have babies whenever they want. 541 00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:25,760 Speaker 2: It's just obviously it's. 542 00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,439 Speaker 1: Gonna be harder, yeah when you're older, and that my 543 00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:29,560 Speaker 1: parents are too liberal. 544 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:33,440 Speaker 2: Okay, No, benefit of the dub for you, Rachel. 545 00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:35,919 Speaker 1: The next day we returned back to the other coast. 546 00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:38,239 Speaker 1: I love my parents and my mom is amazing. I 547 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:41,760 Speaker 1: like Rachel's frankness. I always found it refreshing, but she 548 00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:44,679 Speaker 1: just came across tactless to me. I'm kind of bugged 549 00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:47,600 Speaker 1: by Rachel's behavior. It's weird, but I feel like her 550 00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,879 Speaker 1: not respecting my mom means she doesn't respect me. I 551 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:52,919 Speaker 1: think this is grounds for breaking up, but I'm not 552 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:56,000 Speaker 1: sure if I'm being irrational. Any advice or thoughts, and 553 00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:57,120 Speaker 1: we do have some comments. 554 00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:01,119 Speaker 2: Honestly, you guys are eight months into it. She's showing 555 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:03,840 Speaker 2: you that you guys have different values. I feel like 556 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,080 Speaker 2: it's you're just not the right match. 557 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:10,000 Speaker 1: First time eating the parents. Yeah, and you're like, no, 558 00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:12,520 Speaker 1: I was trying to make your mom feel bad about 559 00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:14,199 Speaker 1: having kids when she was older. 560 00:25:14,359 --> 00:25:15,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's crazy. 561 00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:18,720 Speaker 1: I'd be crazy. Yeah. Anyone who's like, you know, I 562 00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:21,520 Speaker 1: actively went out of my way. It's different if it's like, oh, 563 00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:25,240 Speaker 1: maybe there's like a contentious relationship, maybe you're defending your 564 00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:28,479 Speaker 1: partner from their parents, but you're just going out of 565 00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:28,920 Speaker 1: your way. 566 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:32,280 Speaker 2: It's twice. Yeah, she did Chwice it's it's clear that 567 00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:34,800 Speaker 2: she has a lot more conservative values, but instead of 568 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:36,919 Speaker 2: being respectful and being like, well, that's just wow, I 569 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:39,679 Speaker 2: want it, she's actively trying to make your parents feel 570 00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:42,280 Speaker 2: bad for not having those same values, and if you 571 00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:44,840 Speaker 2: don't have those same values, then it's like not gonna work. 572 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:50,040 Speaker 1: I just I can't imagine ever pulling out crazy. We 573 00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:54,000 Speaker 1: do have some comments from Longo Bongo. Opie read this 574 00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:56,800 Speaker 1: comment ten times. I'm only gonna read it once though, 575 00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:59,720 Speaker 1: because I'm not Opie. It is absolutely baffling to me 576 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:03,560 Speaker 1: that your girlfriend would dare call your parents too liberal 577 00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:06,360 Speaker 1: when she was reaping the benefits of them being too 578 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,960 Speaker 1: liberal while she was there. Your girlfriend is rude, and 579 00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:13,600 Speaker 1: I would feel embarrassed if my significant other treated my 580 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:17,960 Speaker 1: parents that way. Miss misfit says, your girlfriend is rude, 581 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:21,560 Speaker 1: and I would feel embarrassed if my significant other treated 582 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:24,560 Speaker 1: my parents that way. Forget about the too liberal comment. 583 00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:27,880 Speaker 1: She scolded his mom for having a late in life baby. 584 00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:30,719 Speaker 1: She should be thanking her for bringing him into the world, 585 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:34,120 Speaker 1: not condemning her. And that's aside from how crazy rude 586 00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:37,440 Speaker 1: it is to comment on someone else's reproductive choices. Period 587 00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:41,000 Speaker 1: vengeance Pigeon says, your real problem is that you and 588 00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:44,000 Speaker 1: Rachel appear to come from different backgrounds in terms of values, 589 00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:47,879 Speaker 1: and that she clearly believes her family values are inherently superior. 590 00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:51,200 Speaker 1: She was lightly rude to your parents in person based 591 00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:54,240 Speaker 1: on this account, and really rude in private when speaking 592 00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:57,240 Speaker 1: about your mother's choices to you, It's clear she only 593 00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,600 Speaker 1: respects people who agree with her. Think about how that's 594 00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:02,520 Speaker 1: going to play out. As your relationship becomes more serious 595 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,240 Speaker 1: and there is an update, I hope it's a break. 596 00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:08,960 Speaker 2: Up update me too. Yeah, I just don't think this 597 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:13,040 Speaker 2: relationship is your only muns in. I think you've realized 598 00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:13,720 Speaker 2: that you're not a. 599 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:17,120 Speaker 1: Match, and that's fine openly telling me you are out 600 00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:19,080 Speaker 1: of your way to try to upset my own mother. 601 00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:23,520 Speaker 1: Yeah bye over, Not just like oh yeah, she like 602 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:27,680 Speaker 1: likes the wrong sports team. It's like, yeah, over the 603 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:31,000 Speaker 1: time frame she had a baby at during her life. 604 00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:32,919 Speaker 2: Crazy, you are done? 605 00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:36,720 Speaker 1: Yeah with me, it's a crazy update. I was trying 606 00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:40,000 Speaker 1: to downplay my concerns about the incidents at my parents' place. 607 00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:42,760 Speaker 1: I met up with Rachel at her place before maybe 608 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,280 Speaker 1: heading for dinner together. I let her know that I 609 00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:47,520 Speaker 1: wanted to talk about what she said about my mom 610 00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:50,480 Speaker 1: during vacation, and I'm just gonna provide a dialogue about 611 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:52,800 Speaker 1: what was exchange to make it easier for me and 612 00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:56,760 Speaker 1: hopefully less confusing me. I'm still trying to understand why 613 00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:58,639 Speaker 1: you said what you said at dinner and why you 614 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:02,320 Speaker 1: are in such disagreement with my mom. Rachel, so weird? 615 00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:04,200 Speaker 1: How good looking your dad still is? 616 00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:08,159 Speaker 2: What? Sorry? You said? You brought up a concern and 617 00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,600 Speaker 2: then she, instead of responding to that concern, said your 618 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:16,840 Speaker 2: dad's hot. That is hocked, and he said, what we Okay. 619 00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:19,800 Speaker 1: It's so weird? How good looking your dad still is? 620 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:22,719 Speaker 1: He could have been a model when he was younger. Oh, 621 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:26,439 Speaker 1: your mom is not anywhere in the same league as 622 00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:27,360 Speaker 1: your dad. 623 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:30,320 Speaker 2: Me, that's insane. 624 00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:36,520 Speaker 1: Oh, I don't understand what you're talking about, Rachel. I 625 00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:42,000 Speaker 1: think it's odd that they're together. It's creepy, Rachel. Rachel, 626 00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:46,280 Speaker 1: come here, you're a creepy You're a weirdo for that, Rachel, 627 00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:48,720 Speaker 1: you're a weirdo. You're partnering. 628 00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:49,760 Speaker 2: Ohs, media breakup. 629 00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:53,400 Speaker 1: I would like to talk about why you said what 630 00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:55,520 Speaker 1: you said about my mom, and you go your dad 631 00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:56,880 Speaker 1: is a smoke show. 632 00:28:57,240 --> 00:29:00,560 Speaker 2: Your dad's a stone cold ten, your mom shouldn't be 633 00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:03,600 Speaker 2: with them, and I hate your parents together and their relationship. 634 00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:06,840 Speaker 1: I am my parents love each other. I don't get 635 00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:09,800 Speaker 1: the problem you have. I think that you purposefully brought 636 00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:14,040 Speaker 1: up having kids earlier than my mom. To criticizer Rachel, well, 637 00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:17,840 Speaker 1: I don't like your mom. I don't have to like her. Actually, 638 00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:21,760 Speaker 1: you kind of are gonna have to at least like 639 00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:23,800 Speaker 1: my mom a little bit. If we're gonna be in 640 00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:25,440 Speaker 1: a relationship, we're not gonna be. 641 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:28,560 Speaker 2: So it's fine. You can keep on not liking her. Google, 642 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:29,840 Speaker 2: I'm never seeing you again. 643 00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:33,520 Speaker 1: That's crazy. The rest of the conversation was more teeth pulling. 644 00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:36,440 Speaker 1: I had already given thought about what happened last week, 645 00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:38,360 Speaker 1: and I guess I share a chapter or two from 646 00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:41,440 Speaker 1: my parents' book. I want to feel confident about my partner. 647 00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:44,840 Speaker 1: Rachel gives me doubt, not comfort. A lot of comments 648 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:47,680 Speaker 1: mentioned that I may have been oblivious, and what I 649 00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:51,600 Speaker 1: initially perceived as frankness was likely always tactlessness, and that 650 00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:54,400 Speaker 1: I may have not noticed it was tactless because I 651 00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:57,440 Speaker 1: was in agreement. I think these were factors, but I 652 00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:01,120 Speaker 1: also didn't agree with Rachel. Always on her opinions. I 653 00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:04,560 Speaker 1: just didn't disagree either. I broke up with Rachel last night. 654 00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:07,800 Speaker 1: Her parting words were, A mama's boy is just plain 655 00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:11,000 Speaker 1: ugly and you're cursed with your mom's looks. 656 00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:17,520 Speaker 2: Jesus, what bye? That's it? That and that that's it 657 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:18,440 Speaker 2: and that's a wrap. 658 00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:19,960 Speaker 1: Folks, can you believe this? 659 00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:22,640 Speaker 2: That's crazy, that's absolutely wild. 660 00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:25,239 Speaker 1: First of all, I don't think you're anywhere close to 661 00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:26,800 Speaker 1: mama's boy territory. 662 00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:30,280 Speaker 2: Oh, because you said, hey, don't criticize my mom for 663 00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:31,360 Speaker 2: having a baby. 664 00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:34,800 Speaker 1: Later, what is up with her? Like that's like a complex? 665 00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:37,840 Speaker 2: No. I genuinely think she's fought, like she saw the dad, 666 00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:41,239 Speaker 2: fell in love with them or infatuation with him, and 667 00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:43,440 Speaker 2: then was like, oh my god, I need to break 668 00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:45,360 Speaker 2: up their marriage and I need to break up with 669 00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:47,600 Speaker 2: my boyfriend so that I can get with his dad. 670 00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:50,280 Speaker 1: A mama's boy is just plain ugly. I don't know 671 00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:54,160 Speaker 1: exactly what to call the girlfriend who says your dad 672 00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:58,480 Speaker 1: is too hot for your mom, but whatever that person 673 00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:04,200 Speaker 1: is is way uglier than her mama's boy. Oh yeah, yeah, 674 00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:10,440 Speaker 1: good riddance, you did good op sheeesh. Let's finish this story. 675 00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:13,120 Speaker 1: There's an edit here. So I rang my parents to 676 00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,920 Speaker 1: let them know I broke up with Rachel. I spoke 677 00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:18,960 Speaker 1: to my dad first, and he said, you made a 678 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:21,840 Speaker 1: good decision. She was dumber than a box of hair, 679 00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:24,280 Speaker 1: which is not a phrase. Now I'm upset at your 680 00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:26,200 Speaker 1: hot dad, because that's not a phrase. 681 00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:28,400 Speaker 2: He's so hot that he can come up with whatever 682 00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:28,880 Speaker 2: he says. 683 00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:31,080 Speaker 1: He's just like John Ham from thirty Rock. 684 00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:34,400 Speaker 2: I actually personally love coming up with random phrases. I 685 00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:36,480 Speaker 2: go like, oh, she's slower than a. 686 00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:39,640 Speaker 1: You know, she's slower than a jar molasses in the 687 00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:44,760 Speaker 1: winter exactly, But that's a phrase anything, man, I guess 688 00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:46,920 Speaker 1: a box of hair. Would he be dumb? 689 00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:49,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, but like where does that come from? 690 00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:51,800 Speaker 1: Molasses is slow in the winter because it's viscous and 691 00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:53,400 Speaker 1: when it's cold it's thicker. 692 00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:55,920 Speaker 2: Hair is dumb, You can't. 693 00:31:56,680 --> 00:31:59,480 Speaker 1: Here's just the stuff that's on the head. It's the 694 00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:01,480 Speaker 1: brain inside that does the thought. 695 00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:05,160 Speaker 2: It's freaking dune. She's slower than a tar spill. 696 00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:07,520 Speaker 1: Is a box of hair? Just a way to say 697 00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:10,320 Speaker 1: someone without a brain, because it's like the hair on 698 00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:14,960 Speaker 1: their head just goes into their skull. Try that's the 699 00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:17,440 Speaker 1: only thing I could. I am, she's so mad at. 700 00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:19,080 Speaker 2: Your hot dad. He's too hot. 701 00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:22,880 Speaker 1: Ah, that's so hot. Hey, y'all, it's John oj Host. Here. 702 00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:24,280 Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a 703 00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:26,800 Speaker 1: quick three minute break from Asper more sponsors. Then I 704 00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:29,760 Speaker 1: spoke to my mom and she asked why I ended it. 705 00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:32,680 Speaker 1: I told her that she was too irrational and contradictory. 706 00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:35,040 Speaker 1: She wasn't convinced that was the entire reason, so I 707 00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,560 Speaker 1: told her everything. Since she has a pretty thick skin. 708 00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:39,840 Speaker 1: She had a real good laugh and said that Rachel's 709 00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:42,480 Speaker 1: just a mean girl, and she's glad that it didn't 710 00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:44,720 Speaker 1: take me longer than eight months to work that one out. 711 00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:49,640 Speaker 1: And she also told my dad that he's still got it. Yeah, 712 00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:52,360 Speaker 1: we have some final comments here. Dee Coult says her 713 00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:55,360 Speaker 1: parting words, A mama's boy is just playing ugly and 714 00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:58,480 Speaker 1: you're cursed with your mom's looks. It's so seldom happens 715 00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:02,880 Speaker 1: that our life decisions are validated so immediately and unambiguously 716 00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:07,120 Speaker 1: onwards and upwards. Smit It says that line is so 717 00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:09,720 Speaker 1: much cringe. I can barely stand it. She's trying to 718 00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:13,520 Speaker 1: insult him. In verse what not a bird, not a plane. 719 00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:16,760 Speaker 1: Downvoted says, to be fair, that was a sick burn. 720 00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:21,160 Speaker 1: Not really though it wasn't really a sick burn. You're 721 00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:24,400 Speaker 1: all you're a mama's boy, and also you're ugly like 722 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:27,400 Speaker 1: your mom is like pretty bad burn. That's pretty like 723 00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:30,480 Speaker 1: third grade yeah, level like burnage. 724 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:32,920 Speaker 2: Not really third degree, more like third grade. 725 00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:39,640 Speaker 1: Hey, and that's a called a clever joke, word pun cleverness. 726 00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:40,800 Speaker 2: You that hot dad? 727 00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:44,360 Speaker 1: Stop it? I want them. He's my hot dad, He's mine. 728 00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:49,160 Speaker 1: I love boxes of hair, even though they're dumb. Opie says, hey, 729 00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:52,640 Speaker 1: I thought so too. I actually have been laughing over it. 730 00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:54,840 Speaker 1: I agree that her last words were a favorite to me. 731 00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:57,640 Speaker 1: I won't be second guessing this breakup. She sent me 732 00:33:57,680 --> 00:33:59,920 Speaker 1: a bunch of text today saying she didn't mean anything 733 00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:03,320 Speaker 1: and to give her another chance to explain. I'm tired 734 00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:05,960 Speaker 1: of how contradictory she is, and I don't feel obligated 735 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:09,160 Speaker 1: to listen to another explanation. She's already crossed the line 736 00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:12,680 Speaker 1: of no return. Another downloaded comment says, good riddance. Really 737 00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:15,040 Speaker 1: one thing though, that I think is worth for you 738 00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:17,799 Speaker 1: to consider. No need to even reply, Just want you 739 00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:20,080 Speaker 1: to think about it really After your first post, I 740 00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:21,960 Speaker 1: was left thinking that she seemed like one of those 741 00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,000 Speaker 1: people who will bring up things she doesn't agree with, 742 00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:26,719 Speaker 1: jes to be antagonistic. I still think she is that 743 00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:28,880 Speaker 1: kind of person and that it is great for you 744 00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:32,240 Speaker 1: to have broken up with her, But her parting words 745 00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:34,400 Speaker 1: and the fact that she seems to flat out resent 746 00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:36,680 Speaker 1: your mom and not your dad made me wonder if 747 00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:38,640 Speaker 1: in the time you've been together you have not done 748 00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:41,320 Speaker 1: or said stuff that had made her feel that way. 749 00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:44,759 Speaker 1: What if you have That is also not necessarily a 750 00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:47,960 Speaker 1: bad thing. She may just be insecure and hearing you 751 00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:51,359 Speaker 1: talk positively about your mom made her jealous and resent her, 752 00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:54,160 Speaker 1: which again says it's a good thing for you to 753 00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:55,480 Speaker 1: break up with her. I don't know what this is 754 00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:57,960 Speaker 1: going is, but there is the chance that you are 755 00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:00,480 Speaker 1: too attached to your mom and that it shows in 756 00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:03,160 Speaker 1: the way you talk and act, and that is why 757 00:35:03,239 --> 00:35:06,440 Speaker 1: she felt this way. Which, even if that was the case, 758 00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:09,480 Speaker 1: the way Rachel handled it was crappy. Yeah, and you're 759 00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:11,839 Speaker 1: still better off. What are you talking about? This makes 760 00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:13,719 Speaker 1: no sense, You're like, on the one hand, it could 761 00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:16,680 Speaker 1: have been your fault, but even if it was, you 762 00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:18,919 Speaker 1: should have broken up with her. But also it's something 763 00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:20,920 Speaker 1: to think about that if you like your mom too much, 764 00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:23,600 Speaker 1: it might make your partner kind of upset. But also 765 00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:26,080 Speaker 1: if your partner ever gets upset because you like your mom, 766 00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:27,080 Speaker 1: you should break up with them. 767 00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:27,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, that was that. 768 00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:28,880 Speaker 1: You make this comment? 769 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:32,600 Speaker 2: Stupid gone, I see why that was downvoted dumb a 770 00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:33,320 Speaker 2: box of it. 771 00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:36,399 Speaker 1: I'll tell you when you ever wrote that comment. Never 772 00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:39,000 Speaker 1: did box of hair? Would do you like me yet? Oh? 773 00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:39,440 Speaker 1: Piece hot? 774 00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:40,920 Speaker 2: Dad? 775 00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:42,759 Speaker 1: Do you like this? Do you like me? And also, 776 00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:45,160 Speaker 1: will you tell me all of your all your secrets 777 00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:46,960 Speaker 1: to how you stay so hot? 778 00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:47,960 Speaker 2: Tell me all secrets? 779 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,840 Speaker 1: Do you have a box full of hair? Yeah? Op 780 00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:54,360 Speaker 1: replies to this commenter. I live on the East Coast, 781 00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:56,640 Speaker 1: over two thousand miles away from my parents. We don't 782 00:35:56,680 --> 00:35:59,799 Speaker 1: have an extremely close relationship, but I emailed them often 783 00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:01,600 Speaker 1: and call them once a week or every other week, 784 00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:04,440 Speaker 1: depending My mom and I share the same profession, and 785 00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:06,279 Speaker 1: my parents used to live in the same city I 786 00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:09,680 Speaker 1: reside in now. Maybe Rachel viewed those commonalities as my 787 00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:12,440 Speaker 1: being too influenced by my mom, but I feel like 788 00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:15,520 Speaker 1: that'd be a stretch. And again, that's the end of 789 00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:18,680 Speaker 1: that story. But that that commenter said that if you did, 790 00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:23,879 Speaker 1: you should have broke up with there anyway. So whatever. Yeah, well, 791 00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:29,480 Speaker 1: I think there's you know, I mean, it's kind of 792 00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:32,279 Speaker 1: like I don't have siblings, but I think siblings are 793 00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:34,600 Speaker 1: allowed to be mean and make fun of each other 794 00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:37,440 Speaker 1: at a clip that other people can't. So it's like 795 00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:39,959 Speaker 1: sometimes you know, I don't know, I don't You guys 796 00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:42,319 Speaker 1: probably don't really do that, but it's like, yeah, it's 797 00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:44,560 Speaker 1: like you can kind of like give your sibling like 798 00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:46,839 Speaker 1: a lot of crap, but as soon as somebody else does, 799 00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:48,920 Speaker 1: you're like, whoa are you talking? What are you talking 800 00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:52,680 Speaker 1: about it? Hey, cool your jets, that's my brother, that's 801 00:36:52,719 --> 00:36:58,000 Speaker 1: my sister. I can say, there, you stop talking running 802 00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:01,120 Speaker 1: your mouth about my sister. Same thing with you know, 803 00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:02,359 Speaker 1: with parentals. 804 00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:06,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I complained my mom. Don't talk about 805 00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:08,680 Speaker 2: my mommy that way about my mom. 806 00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:11,439 Speaker 1: I know my mom's annoying you you know my mom 807 00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:11,759 Speaker 1: like that? 808 00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:12,719 Speaker 2: No, my mom. 809 00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:15,640 Speaker 1: We're just assuming she's annoying, which is true, but you 810 00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:16,840 Speaker 1: need to meet her first. 811 00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:18,960 Speaker 2: He's actually a real nice lady. 812 00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:22,760 Speaker 1: Let the records show that my mom is not annoying 813 00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:25,640 Speaker 1: most of the time, and that she's a wonderful woman, 814 00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:28,320 Speaker 1: and I can't talk about it, like you're not allowed 815 00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:30,520 Speaker 1: to say anything about my mom except that she's cool 816 00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:30,960 Speaker 1: and awesome. 817 00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:32,200 Speaker 2: Don't even look her in the eyes. 818 00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:34,560 Speaker 1: But that is the end of that story, and we've 819 00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:36,839 Speaker 1: got to jump. I do find it difficult to look 820 00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:39,879 Speaker 1: at your mother in the eyes. She is intimidating, Oh 821 00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:43,000 Speaker 1: my mom. But that is the end of that story. 822 00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:44,040 Speaker 1: We have another one coming right up. 823 00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:47,840 Speaker 2: You sure do. My ex called me manipulative for asking 824 00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:49,879 Speaker 2: him to stop flirting with another woman. 825 00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:52,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, you're trying to manipulate me into being a good boyfriend. 826 00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:53,200 Speaker 1: That's crazy. 827 00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:56,000 Speaker 2: And this comes directly from the r slash okay storytime 828 00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:59,000 Speaker 2: Separate It jigger warning for mentions of a harmful relationship. 829 00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:02,560 Speaker 2: Hello people, Reddit, I'm coming here since my axe does 830 00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:04,520 Speaker 2: not like when I talk to people that know him. 831 00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:07,520 Speaker 2: Red flag her story purposes. My name is Bella twenty 832 00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:11,120 Speaker 2: seven and my ex is Adam thirty five. Eh, there 833 00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:13,640 Speaker 2: will be another person in the story. She is thirty 834 00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:16,360 Speaker 2: three to thirty four, I believe, and we'll call her Helga. 835 00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:17,760 Speaker 1: Let's go Helga. 836 00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:20,400 Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Confused and Dazzled And 837 00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:22,040 Speaker 2: if you want to submit your own stories, go to 838 00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:23,880 Speaker 2: the r slash Okay storytime, separate it. 839 00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:25,920 Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, and we're. 840 00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:27,880 Speaker 2: Here to give good advice. Goofully. Well, we don't have 841 00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:30,160 Speaker 2: all the answers. We only know what we'd do, So 842 00:38:30,239 --> 00:38:31,880 Speaker 2: let us know what you would do in the comments. 843 00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:35,319 Speaker 2: Eh and O Pieceas I was working at Staples in 844 00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:38,360 Speaker 2: the print and marketing department, went in walks this man 845 00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:40,800 Speaker 2: with a mask and his hood up, and I couldn't 846 00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:44,680 Speaker 2: take my eyes off of him. That man ended up 847 00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:48,719 Speaker 2: being Adam. I'm sorry only see his eyes and I 848 00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:50,319 Speaker 2: couldn't take my eyes off his eyes. 849 00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:53,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, was it because you were worried he might commit 850 00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:54,600 Speaker 1: a crime of some kind? 851 00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:55,080 Speaker 2: Be it? 852 00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:58,640 Speaker 1: He walked into Staples masked and with his hood up 853 00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:00,839 Speaker 1: and his hands in his pockets, and I thought, why 854 00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:02,880 Speaker 1: is he walking directly towards the register? 855 00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:06,080 Speaker 2: He probably wants to ask for my number. The problem 856 00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:09,160 Speaker 2: was I was in a harmful relationship physically and mentally 857 00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:11,880 Speaker 2: that I was working on getting out of with Chad. 858 00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:13,920 Speaker 2: Adam and I got to know each other a bit 859 00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:16,160 Speaker 2: through my second phone, which I had to plan my 860 00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:19,920 Speaker 2: escape route from Chad since Chadam my main phone cloned. 861 00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:21,280 Speaker 2: Dang terrifying. 862 00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:22,760 Speaker 1: This is all terrible, that's terrible. 863 00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:25,440 Speaker 2: One day, Chad threatened me for the last time and 864 00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:27,520 Speaker 2: I up and left. I was not moving back in 865 00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:31,120 Speaker 2: with my parents. I asked friends and everyone. Adam gave 866 00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:33,560 Speaker 2: me a place to stay. After about eight months of 867 00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:36,719 Speaker 2: living together, Adam and I started dating. So yes, I 868 00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:39,160 Speaker 2: had to deal with a lot of his bs before 869 00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:42,080 Speaker 2: we got together, rotating women and all. And I didn't 870 00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:44,920 Speaker 2: help that I was also on the roster. As our 871 00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:48,440 Speaker 2: relationship developed, I would get insecure and ask him questions 872 00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:51,120 Speaker 2: all the time because I saw how he was with 873 00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:54,560 Speaker 2: other women. This led to a lot of fights. Those 874 00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:57,759 Speaker 2: disagreements led to him cheating on me and me finding out. 875 00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:00,840 Speaker 2: I also found out that he liked messaging and flirting 876 00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:04,000 Speaker 2: with them. He was adding random s mexy women on 877 00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:07,359 Speaker 2: Facebook all the time. Yet I stayed, not wanting to 878 00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:10,680 Speaker 2: ruin the non refundable cruise that was booked. You stayed 879 00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:12,720 Speaker 2: together because you were you were going on a cruise. 880 00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:16,479 Speaker 1: Sometimes a good cruise is worth staying with the guy 881 00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:19,240 Speaker 1: who cheats on you constant. I don't know if that's true, 882 00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:21,080 Speaker 1: it's not. I'm just kid. 883 00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:24,120 Speaker 2: I'm just joking, since the last cruise he went on 884 00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:26,880 Speaker 2: was with an ex. The cruise saved our relationship, No 885 00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:30,600 Speaker 2: it didn't. The cruise has handcuffed you to your relationship, 886 00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:31,399 Speaker 2: but did not save. 887 00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:36,719 Speaker 1: The cruise saved our relationship, and the captain saved everyone's 888 00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:39,040 Speaker 1: life when he avoided bad Asberg. 889 00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:41,840 Speaker 2: We came back from the cruise and started building a 890 00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:44,560 Speaker 2: business together. I also wanted to work on my own business. 891 00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:47,520 Speaker 2: We install appliances for a living. I wanted another woman 892 00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:50,319 Speaker 2: with us, since women in the trades are considered unicorns. 893 00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:54,000 Speaker 2: This is when Helga enters the picture. I got to 894 00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:57,000 Speaker 2: know her. I became friends with her. I told Adam 895 00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:59,680 Speaker 2: she's amazing and we should figure something out for her. 896 00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:02,319 Speaker 2: But I didn't want her working alongside him since we 897 00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:05,720 Speaker 2: work separately. You never agreed to it. You started riding 898 00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:08,560 Speaker 2: with her against my wishes. A little time passes and 899 00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:11,440 Speaker 2: I noticed things that catch my eye, like her adding 900 00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:13,840 Speaker 2: him on Facebook as a friend and blocking me. 901 00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:22,280 Speaker 1: Okay, noticing that particular combo pretty revealing of someone's intent. 902 00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:24,680 Speaker 1: Hey it's John here. We're gonna get back to this episode. 903 00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:27,120 Speaker 1: But a quick three minute break with aswer more sponsors. 904 00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:30,320 Speaker 2: Then when the three of us hang out, her bending 905 00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:32,799 Speaker 2: over and shaking her butt by him, she had the 906 00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:35,560 Speaker 2: nerve to call me crazy and sweet talked Adam to 907 00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:39,319 Speaker 2: be on her side. He always chose her side. Yeah, 908 00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:43,359 Speaker 2: your relationship is not good. Is not good. Gotta end this. 909 00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:46,040 Speaker 1: I mean, at least it's an ex. It's already over. Yes, 910 00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:51,120 Speaker 1: Adam is already the ex. It's just true. But she 911 00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:54,360 Speaker 1: she just touched my foot, winn her foot. It was disgusting. 912 00:41:55,280 --> 00:42:00,880 Speaker 1: What you didn't what he even noticed nus For some reason, 913 00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:06,160 Speaker 1: I feel versed out that way. No, I don't even know. 914 00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:08,920 Speaker 1: I don't know how to feel anymore. This is crazy. 915 00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:11,319 Speaker 1: Break up with Adam earlier. 916 00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:14,680 Speaker 2: Yes, I hated him about this after multiple times with 917 00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:17,160 Speaker 2: him not caring about me enough to let her go 918 00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:19,920 Speaker 2: and calling me manipulative for asking for it. He has 919 00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:23,600 Speaker 2: called me crazy for these emotions that revolve around Helga 920 00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:30,200 Speaker 2: and selfishness. All this led to our breakup. Yeah, but 921 00:42:30,239 --> 00:42:32,479 Speaker 2: there is a little bit left to this story. Any 922 00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:33,440 Speaker 2: final thoughts. 923 00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:35,479 Speaker 1: I'm glad you stopped dating Chad. 924 00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:36,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm glad you broke up. 925 00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:40,560 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry you ended up with Adam right after. 926 00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:42,239 Speaker 2: That yeah, two backed back. 927 00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:44,920 Speaker 1: But I think there might be a thing where usually 928 00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:47,319 Speaker 1: after you get out of a really bad relationship, your 929 00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:49,520 Speaker 1: first one, is it the first one you get into 930 00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:51,799 Speaker 1: after that, is it gonna be the best one? 931 00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:54,759 Speaker 2: Well, because you're searching for people that, like, I mean 932 00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:58,400 Speaker 2: the adam in I think GOP's eyes kind of saved her. 933 00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:00,560 Speaker 1: From this relationship. Yeah, in a way for a place, 934 00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:01,640 Speaker 1: And so I feel like there's. 935 00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:04,520 Speaker 2: Kind of that yeah, like trauma bonding. 936 00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:07,560 Speaker 1: It it's like because you met him, like in the 937 00:43:07,600 --> 00:43:10,680 Speaker 1: midst of you being this other guy, like there's some 938 00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:11,520 Speaker 1: level of. 939 00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:14,040 Speaker 2: I'll forgive yeah, yeah. 940 00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:16,279 Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's like, really, just get out there and 941 00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:18,719 Speaker 1: meet a lot of people. Keep your own roster, you know, 942 00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:20,759 Speaker 1: get a roster you will. 943 00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:23,239 Speaker 2: But I'm glad that you were out of this relationship. 944 00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:25,839 Speaker 2: To clarify, he broke up with me because I kept 945 00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:27,920 Speaker 2: asking him questions about him and held out no. 946 00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:30,880 Speaker 1: Oh man, I mean, I'm glad that y'all bolt up, 947 00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:33,520 Speaker 1: But I'm upset that you were the one to see 948 00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:36,760 Speaker 1: that you were worth wider at I'm not stupid. 949 00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:39,160 Speaker 2: I know the moment we broke up, they slept together. 950 00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:41,719 Speaker 2: There may not have been any physical cheating, but there 951 00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:44,880 Speaker 2: was definitely emotional cheating. If he can do that so 952 00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:48,680 Speaker 2: quickly after being together three years and asking me to 953 00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:50,759 Speaker 2: marry him, Ah, did you say no? 954 00:43:51,080 --> 00:43:51,319 Speaker 1: What? 955 00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:54,040 Speaker 2: He still says, I'm in the wrong for asking him 956 00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:55,600 Speaker 2: to cut her out of his life if he has 957 00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:58,279 Speaker 2: any hope of rekindling this What do you think? No, 958 00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:00,759 Speaker 2: I'm not perfect, but don't I at lea deserve to 959 00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:03,840 Speaker 2: know I am the only person worth Adam's attention? Or 960 00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:05,759 Speaker 2: is that wrong of me to think? And I should 961 00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:08,360 Speaker 2: be okay with the friends that are girls? Well, Helga 962 00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:10,319 Speaker 2: is not a friend that is a girl. She is 963 00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:12,279 Speaker 2: a girl that wants to be his girlfriend. 964 00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:16,600 Speaker 1: Yeah. I think there's a difference between being the only 965 00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:19,279 Speaker 1: one worthy of his attention, which I don't think is 966 00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:23,759 Speaker 1: a healthy thing to have. No, but I do think 967 00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:28,239 Speaker 1: that you are not, you know, creating a figment of 968 00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:29,040 Speaker 1: your imagination. 969 00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:32,759 Speaker 2: That's clearly he's already cheated on you. We already know 970 00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:34,480 Speaker 2: that he cheated on you. That's a thing. 971 00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:39,000 Speaker 1: Any Yeah, I don't know. I just don't think this 972 00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:42,600 Speaker 1: guy was the guy for you. Yeah, and that's. 973 00:44:42,400 --> 00:44:44,520 Speaker 2: Good, and that's a good thing because you were gonna 974 00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:47,640 Speaker 2: find someone way better. But that's the end of that episode, 975 00:44:47,719 --> 00:44:50,799 Speaker 2: so if you love us, make sure to subscribe We 976 00:44:50,920 --> 00:44:53,239 Speaker 2: Love You and see it a