Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer. Yes, Nicky Grazer, here's Nikki here. I
Speaker 1: am welcome to the show. It's Nicky Glazer Podcast. I'm
Speaker 1: Nicky Glazer in St. Louis with Andrew Colin. Noah is
Speaker 1: in Arizona, and um we are headed to Texas this weekend.
Speaker 1: Wow wow wow wow. You know how I do down there?
Speaker 1: They're here there and narrow uh. And then we are
Speaker 1: in Florida and all right, we know how he does
Speaker 1: down there? Dude, what about New Orleans? Know? What do
Speaker 1: some knowledge? You go down to sound effective knowledge? You
Speaker 1: go down now, you get your good crawfit down and speak.
Speaker 1: Everyone want to go down to plant quarter? You want
Speaker 1: to go down your whole set in that accent, just
Speaker 1: do that the whole time. Yeah, that almost sounds it's
Speaker 1: the same voice you use when there's up foul ball
Speaker 1: that goes flying. Oh no, no, no, no, no, to
Speaker 1: come now, one day it will come. One time I
Speaker 1: saw a foul ball go so high it actually came
Speaker 1: and it was coming at me and everybody. It was
Speaker 1: such a high, like certain foul balls you don't try.
Speaker 1: It sounds like the beginning of like the movie Big Fish.
Speaker 1: One time I saw a foul ball goes so high.
Speaker 1: I know you've seen big Fish, but I think it's
Speaker 1: like a tall Tale movie. I love that you haven't seen.
Speaker 1: I have not seen. I remember seeing ads from big
Speaker 1: Fish and being like that looks magical, and people always
Speaker 1: be on Reddit. I love that last name cricket Um
Speaker 1: Credup is so hot. Oh my god, I told you
Speaker 1: I saw him in the Hamptons in real life. He
Speaker 1: walked past my car. He looked like an old like.
Speaker 1: He looked like I'm like a ghost kind of yeah,
Speaker 1: like the woman that the guy in thin Net. He
Speaker 1: looked more like just crid. So anyways, this fly ball
Speaker 1: went so high in the air that everyone like scattered
Speaker 1: because it was that high, except for one person went
Speaker 1: like this like you know when you like something's coming
Speaker 1: at you, so you just duck, you know, so you
Speaker 1: think you'll be fine, but I know, yeah, you just
Speaker 1: don't know where's gonna that's me catching any ball that
Speaker 1: comes at me. Go into the top of the head,
Speaker 1: top of the head. The one person dead he got credit?
Speaker 1: Did he did he die? The boy didn't get right away.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've ever seen like it was
Speaker 1: like it was like a cartoon or like a big bomb.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, yeah, I think yeah, you got he definitely. Um,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I'm excited for Texas. Excited um for Nashville
Speaker 1: as well. Yes, Rhyman Theater. They got the original seats
Speaker 1: in there. Actually, I don't know if you just tell
Speaker 1: people that, what do you mean they're like made out
Speaker 1: of the old wood that they did when the church.
Speaker 1: You think people would like some germ freaks might be like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm not going there if you give the original seats
Speaker 1: uncomfortable splinters. Okay, yeah I gave. Um. I usually do
Speaker 1: a little talk before live shows about social anxiety and
Speaker 1: like if you have to pee, just go pee and
Speaker 1: all that stuff. Um, And I usually do it before
Speaker 1: I bring you up, no after yeah, before before you
Speaker 1: come out, Yes, before I bring you up. It's kind
Speaker 1: of like a little thing I come out before I
Speaker 1: go out. Um, but you weren't there this past weekend,
Speaker 1: so I wasn't able to like do my little speech,
Speaker 1: so I just did it at the top of the show.
Speaker 1: And God does that set the stage for a like
Speaker 1: everyone just chills out. There's so much anxiety about going
Speaker 1: to show, Like that's that's not something I struggle with.
Speaker 1: But people have a big struggle with And it's one
Speaker 1: thing hearing it from the horses, not calling your horse,
Speaker 1: but that sounds like a horse cat from the horse's mouth,
Speaker 1: the horse's mouth. Did you say horse or whore? He
Speaker 1: said horse. Let the listeners decide. Um, I'd rather be
Speaker 1: called a horror than a horse. I think I used that,
Speaker 1: joked one of the roast. I was like, oh, you
Speaker 1: know what they do with for girls, Like, I know
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna get tonight. You're gonna call me a
Speaker 1: horse horse face but to a horse face or something
Speaker 1: like that. Um. Yeah. But so drawing Carmichael where I
Speaker 1: think we talked a little bit. We haven't talked about
Speaker 1: his special yet on here, but fantastic. I'm not going
Speaker 1: to you shouldn't. I haven't seen it yet. You know,
Speaker 1: he comes out, he does come out of the closet
Speaker 1: as a white man. Oh yeah, it's kind of crazy.
Speaker 1: Well he should be canceled because that isn't impressive. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's pretty good. Uh. He has some of the funniest
Speaker 1: ten minutes on coming, like about being like from a
Speaker 1: place that isn't cool with people coming out like his
Speaker 1: family and how he it's so ingrained in him to
Speaker 1: not be acceptable except towards gay people, where he was
Speaker 1: like roasting himself for being gay. Like even when he's
Speaker 1: with his partner, he's like making out with the dude
Speaker 1: and he's like pause, like like he's blowing the guy.
Speaker 1: He's like no, homo like like like it's whole, like
Speaker 1: like everything in his d whatever. So but at the
Speaker 1: beginning of his thing, he comes out and his whole,
Speaker 1: his whole first three minutes is how like, look, we're
Speaker 1: just friends for this to be great, let's just act
Speaker 1: as family. Like he gave a disclaimer kind of like
Speaker 1: what you did, and and it really does you feel it.
Speaker 1: You feel a difference in the room. It doesn't feel
Speaker 1: as much as like I'm talking at you, as like
Speaker 1: we're like all together in the room. Yeah, And it's
Speaker 1: just like you just want people to become The only
Speaker 1: way a show is good is if people are comfortable
Speaker 1: like that you know what you're doing, that they're not
Speaker 1: going to be called out or embarrassed. That if because
Speaker 1: you are, that's it kind of gave me. It was
Speaker 1: like what no, that I think okay, So, like as
Speaker 1: a patron of calm many shows and not a comedian.
Speaker 1: I think it lets the audience relax in a way
Speaker 1: because for the people who are there, who are your
Speaker 1: comedy fans, not necessarily the podcast um uh listeners, you're
Speaker 1: known and loved for your roast jokes. So they think
Speaker 1: that if they get up to the bathroom where if
Speaker 1: they have to walk out or something, it kind of
Speaker 1: puts a target on them and they might end up
Speaker 1: being roasted. I guess like in their mind, that's the
Speaker 1: story that they tell themselves. So I think it does
Speaker 1: put them at ease because it's like, no, you can
Speaker 1: go to the bathroom. I'm cool with it. I hate
Speaker 1: like they would just happen. You're exactly right. It would
Speaker 1: happen after Meet and Greece when people be like, I
Speaker 1: do go the bathroom so bad and I'm like, why
Speaker 1: didn't you go? And they're like I just didn't want
Speaker 1: to enter up the show, and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1: I need to let people know I will not say
Speaker 1: a damn thing. If you go to the bathroom. You
Speaker 1: could literally yell fire and run out and I'd be like,
Speaker 1: everyone's stay calm, ignore that woman, Like I just don't
Speaker 1: I'm never I do not go into the audience unless
Speaker 1: it's absolutely necessary and someone's like really causing a disturbance.
Speaker 1: I just would never do that to someone so hard, Yeah,
Speaker 1: because then the second side gets into the bathroom and
Speaker 1: it goes, where are you going to? You know, because
Speaker 1: I say, if you go to the bathroom as a woman,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be like, look at this lady going
Speaker 1: to Jake Ship. Like that's what a lot of comics do.
Speaker 1: It's so annoying. And so people like really have bladder
Speaker 1: disorders because of comedy shows where they're just so scared
Speaker 1: of being called out. I mean I used to have
Speaker 1: that kind of anxiety too, of just like I just
Speaker 1: don't want to be seen. I don't want to be
Speaker 1: picked on. I don't and you're watching someone do something
Speaker 1: if you have a little bit of stage right, that
Speaker 1: seems so it almost just like watching when I watch
Speaker 1: a circus act or like I won't go see circulate.
Speaker 1: Like I was just in Vegas and I had a
Speaker 1: night off and I was looking up tickets to Love
Speaker 1: the Battle Show and I won't go see it because
Speaker 1: I don't like seeing people do things that if I
Speaker 1: did it, I would die. Oh so like people on stage. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And the thing is I'm a professional, so maybe you
Speaker 1: could watch me and be like, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: could never do that. That makes me so scared. It
Speaker 1: doesn't change the fact that they know I'm a professional
Speaker 1: unless I'm just like making them so sure that nothing's
Speaker 1: going to happen like that. But search so they cannot
Speaker 1: do that for me. There's no way because I'm like,
Speaker 1: but you could slip, like there's something that could happen,
Speaker 1: So I can take that because I was considered my
Speaker 1: act like they're watching like circus in terms of like,
Speaker 1: I can't even enjoy this because it's so that is
Speaker 1: such my nightmare if I'm scared of heights, because so
Speaker 1: many people's nightmare is doing exactly what we do and
Speaker 1: talking into a microphone with nothing else to help you.
Speaker 1: But isn't that that's the words that are coming out
Speaker 1: of your mouth? But the thrill of circus? What did
Speaker 1: I call circus circus? Um? It's a chocolate sauce. You
Speaker 1: don't know if they're gonna fall and die, right, So
Speaker 1: the idea of you going anyone like I'm just saying,
Speaker 1: that's what like stand up for, especially with people that
Speaker 1: they don't know is good or not. They want to
Speaker 1: see maybe they will fail, like people like to fail.
Speaker 1: I'm offended by everything you just said, mostly because you
Speaker 1: said they don't know if they is good or not. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I failed that sentence. But how fun was that? What
Speaker 1: if I told you what was going to be bad?
Speaker 1: You know what I would say to people who enjoy
Speaker 1: watching stand up because they like watching people bomb or
Speaker 1: they want to see someone like uncomfortable. You are sick person.
Speaker 1: You truly you have a problem. I mean even people
Speaker 1: who like to go to UM. I hate air shows.
Speaker 1: I hate diving board things. I hate things that are
Speaker 1: like you're you're risking your life so much like drag
Speaker 1: racing or any kind of I have a story in
Speaker 1: the news about this. By the way, my Formula one.
Speaker 1: My boyfriends so into Formula one and I just got
Speaker 1: kind of an offer to do a shoot adjacent to
Speaker 1: a Formula one thing, and he's like, maybe we could
Speaker 1: go to the right, like see if maybe the we
Speaker 1: could because it's like shooting around like with the theme
Speaker 1: of it as Formula one and it's happening like a
Speaker 1: race weekend and I haven't said yes to it yet.
Speaker 1: But I'm I sent it to him being like, would
Speaker 1: you want to come to this with me? Because he's
Speaker 1: huge into Formula one and I'm terrified to go to
Speaker 1: a Formula one thing. I don't like fast, loud things,
Speaker 1: and I don't like things that the margin of error
Speaker 1: is so small that they could careen into the crowd
Speaker 1: and I probably will get really good seats and die. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're sure, you know, I just don't. I don't like
Speaker 1: that stuff, and it's just I don't understand people who do.
Speaker 1: I don't. It makes me feel really und not close
Speaker 1: to my fellow man because I just don't get why
Speaker 1: anywhere are you gonna go? Yeah? Because I love him
Speaker 1: and it means if we get to you know, I'm
Speaker 1: still waiting to hear back, but if we do get tickets,
Speaker 1: I'll go because I know it means so much to him,
Speaker 1: and it would be like me going He's not gonna
Speaker 1: die potentially die at Taylor Swift concert. What is the
Speaker 1: last game that you experience where someone could die? Like,
Speaker 1: have you actually been in the stands for something like that?
Speaker 1: My parents used to go bring me to air shows
Speaker 1: as a kid, or like um circuses where the motorcycles
Speaker 1: are in that cage and I would have a panic.
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding you. I I can't even think about it,
Speaker 1: like I just I hate it so much. I hate
Speaker 1: things that are very fast in tandem next to each other,
Speaker 1: where if you literally go like this with the steering wheel,
Speaker 1: it's it's it's a humong Even horse races where like
Speaker 1: a horse just kind of trips boom. Bike races tour
Speaker 1: to France when they're also close. There's That's my phobia,
Speaker 1: is things going fast close to each other. One thing
Speaker 1: going fast on its own in a desert somewhere. Fine,
Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck, but together, fast speed skating,
Speaker 1: anything like that. No, no, no, I don't like it.
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to think how you could conquer this fear.
Speaker 1: I don't want to. She's going to face it with
Speaker 1: her boyfriend, and that's how you're gonna. I really have
Speaker 1: to get into this, because we're going to be a
Speaker 1: Formula one family. Like he wants to get into Formula
Speaker 1: he loves. He's trying to. I'm trying to get into it.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna try to get for it. You
Speaker 1: could buy a car. I'm gonna let me have my
Speaker 1: own car. You should and you should have a baby
Speaker 1: Formula one. It's gonna be the Starbucks car. It should
Speaker 1: be Formula I'm four. It's just so funny, like a
Speaker 1: little baby car. No, dude, it's it's uh no, but
Speaker 1: you could get into I'm sure in St. Louis if
Speaker 1: you did a Google, Um, you know where do Rednecks
Speaker 1: hang out? There's like, uh, Formula one is not Rednecks. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no, but the pre pre pre yea. Yeah, that
Speaker 1: kind of ship where you get like Grand Prix. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you get like trucks, that fucking monster truck like he
Speaker 1: brought his my boyfriend brought his nephews to this, like
Speaker 1: you know that like this Sunday Sutnday, Suturday, everyone's drawn.
Speaker 1: Like do you know those weird ads where the guy
Speaker 1: stocks like this and then a ghost what. I hated
Speaker 1: those ads as a kid. I would even during like
Speaker 1: when I was watching to stay by the bell and
Speaker 1: they would like advertise those those trucks just going like
Speaker 1: boom and like falling in the arena and all this
Speaker 1: dirt digger. I hate thunders. What if it's something you like,
Speaker 1: it's wrong with people that they like to see people
Speaker 1: almost die. If you what's wrong with me that I
Speaker 1: love molestation documentaries and sex documentaries because they're slow. But
Speaker 1: you know what the thing is, they're slow, they groom slowly. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's no jump scares and a pedophile doc there aren't.
Speaker 1: You never see a molester in a formula one one
Speaker 1: only one person can sit in it. It's kind of true, though,
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding you. I like you, you don't mind
Speaker 1: a white van that's real slow. Because I really have
Speaker 1: to think about why I like pedophile documentaries. I really
Speaker 1: have to. I'm fascinated by pedophiles. I'm fascinated by people
Speaker 1: like I want to hear all about the stories. I don't.
Speaker 1: I'm never like listening to the stories, being like I
Speaker 1: know that this doesn't it's or scratch some it's for
Speaker 1: me that is like a it's not a leisurable thing.
Speaker 1: It's definitely that same thing of like discussed, like that
Speaker 1: morbid curiosity. But the thing is, I put a thing
Speaker 1: out on my Instagram story the other night about like,
Speaker 1: if you have a sex crime documentary, please send it
Speaker 1: to me, Like I can't get enough of this stuff.
Speaker 1: And I had a bunch of people right to me,
Speaker 1: being like, I like this stuff too, and I'm ashamed
Speaker 1: that I like it because I go, I like this
Speaker 1: over murder docs and I'm let listen, a lot of
Speaker 1: murder docks have sex crimes associated with them too. But
Speaker 1: I like talks about pedophiles and how they work. I
Speaker 1: like learning how these things. What I think it is
Speaker 1: blink like like, um, like, what I'm gonna do? Is
Speaker 1: I am too passionate about this. I need my knowledge.
Speaker 1: I have so much more knowledge than most people have
Speaker 1: about pedophiles because parents that have kids are like, no, no,
Speaker 1: no, no no, no, I don't want to hear about it.
Speaker 1: Oh that's so gross. And it's like, why do you
Speaker 1: want I don't even have you should want to hear
Speaker 1: about this, Like why are people know it's scared? Think
Speaker 1: I get it because you think of your kids and
Speaker 1: you go, it's not gonna happen to my kids. I
Speaker 1: protect them. No, I think it's you don't know. I
Speaker 1: think it's the opposite. I think it's it's like the
Speaker 1: other day when you send me that joke and have
Speaker 1: a rapists in it and changing it to murder actually
Speaker 1: makes it more palatable. Even though murders some would argue
Speaker 1: worse than rape. Some would argue murder, which is a
Speaker 1: fine documentary to talk about that women can go. I
Speaker 1: love murder docs and no one goes, you're a murderer.
Speaker 1: But when I say, like, pedophile docs are like you're
Speaker 1: because more people get molested and murdered, like or like
Speaker 1: it happens, like it way more. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So that's why I think it feels more awkward to
Speaker 1: be like, I'm really into this thing that actually happens.
Speaker 1: Know that. The problem is the thing is people don't
Speaker 1: know what happens a lot. Everyone's in denial of it.
Speaker 1: If you knew the stats, which I'm not gonna, you know,
Speaker 1: go into, but if you knew the stats, it is
Speaker 1: so alarming how much more it happens. And the problem
Speaker 1: is people don't talk about it because it involves sex
Speaker 1: and it's the worst thing ever. It's children and sex,
Speaker 1: and you don't combine the things, and we don't talk
Speaker 1: about it. And the thing is parents need to know
Speaker 1: because parents think that they don't. Should we start a
Speaker 1: morbid documentary podcast about its phile? Honestly, I need to
Speaker 1: educate the public about this and it's the only way
Speaker 1: to defeat these guys. Because Chris and I, my boyfriend,
Speaker 1: I were just talking last night we go because I
Speaker 1: was telling him all the stuff I learned from the
Speaker 1: Jimmy Seville documentary that I watched on Netflix about the
Speaker 1: Mr Rogers of Great Britain who ended up being like
Speaker 1: a prolific pedophile like the Bill Cosby this guy you
Speaker 1: would have I know, That's what I'm saying. So I
Speaker 1: don't understand the UK has taste and entertainers at all
Speaker 1: after watching this guy that There's nothing charming about this guy,
Speaker 1: nothing funny. He was not even good. I don't get it.
Speaker 1: Someone tried to explain it. I wrote to Robin my
Speaker 1: hair and make up a friend and I go, what
Speaker 1: what was it about this He's not charming, He's just
Speaker 1: a creep. And yet they when he died it was
Speaker 1: like a member of the royal family died. In fact,
Speaker 1: he was knighted, which is a big deal. The royal
Speaker 1: families are creat Yes, anything, God forbid you say that
Speaker 1: Brits don't. All right, let's take a break and come
Speaker 1: back with more show. We'll talk about freaking Harry Harry
Speaker 1: and we're back. Um, so what about Harry. I don't
Speaker 1: want to get into it. I just got a phone
Speaker 1: call in between the break that said shut the funk
Speaker 1: up or else or else, and then a little laser
Speaker 1: uh dot put was on your forehead. It's yeah, but
Speaker 1: I'm cool now. I love the Royal family. Good people,
Speaker 1: real good people, strong character. No, but Chris and I
Speaker 1: were on the phone last night talking at length about
Speaker 1: what do we do? What do we do to stop
Speaker 1: these people? Because there what's what do you do? And
Speaker 1: I said, it's about education. It's about making kids. Okay
Speaker 1: with saying I don't like being around my uncle, he
Speaker 1: gives me a weird vibe. Because the thing is, it
Speaker 1: starts with a just a touch that just feels a
Speaker 1: little too long. It starts with a creepiness that you
Speaker 1: feel long before the molester even does anything. Kids can
Speaker 1: feel it right away, and you need they need. Don't
Speaker 1: let your don't make your kids hug people they don't
Speaker 1: want to hug, no matter what you think. Don't ever
Speaker 1: force your kids to do anything or be alone with
Speaker 1: someone if they don't want to. UM. And also it's
Speaker 1: about educating kids about like, if you ever feel weird,
Speaker 1: around an adult. Let me know. It's literally a vibe.
Speaker 1: Kids get a vibe right away. And if there is
Speaker 1: a person in you of child molestations happen, the perpetrator
Speaker 1: is someone that the family knows and trust, so you
Speaker 1: always think it's going to be a stranger. The word
Speaker 1: there is trust. The family already trust this person. So
Speaker 1: whoever you think in your life you trust the person
Speaker 1: that would molest your kids, you would not expect it.
Speaker 1: So that needs to be sunken in. Is that you
Speaker 1: goes back to the book we were reading that we
Speaker 1: got besties to read um talking to strangers. We don't
Speaker 1: know people like we think we do. And the people
Speaker 1: we do know we think we know so well, but
Speaker 1: really people are strangers to us. And these people always
Speaker 1: start with they do They never just go right to molesting.
Speaker 1: It starts with they are so slow, Like you said,
Speaker 1: maybe that's why I like it. There's always there's a
Speaker 1: beginning and and and because Christmas like so do we
Speaker 1: just we just have to let them molest? And then
Speaker 1: the kids tell us And then I go, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: it doesn't need to get to that. It needs to
Speaker 1: get to mom. I don't like that guy. Mom, I
Speaker 1: feel that guy's a weirdough just being able to say
Speaker 1: that about an adult. Arlo doesn't like to hug me
Speaker 1: sometimes he's just not in the mood. And my sister
Speaker 1: will go, you hug your in it, and I go no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: he doesn't. He doesn't have to do anything he doesn't
Speaker 1: want to do ever physically with an adult, even though
Speaker 1: I know I'm not. Yeah, I go no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I don't want it. I'm creeped out by that kid. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you don't know what I'm into. This reverse the pedophilia,
Speaker 1: like no one's talking about that is that the kids
Speaker 1: are coming at uncles that are molested by their nephews.
Speaker 1: They're good friends before. Well, it's just if I were
Speaker 1: an adult, I would never make my child, even if
Speaker 1: it was their grandmother, hugged their grandmother, because it sets
Speaker 1: a precedent that you do things you don't want to
Speaker 1: do physically human touch wise with another adult. And it's
Speaker 1: that's a precedent that when something inappropriate happens with someone
Speaker 1: that isn't Grandma who we know and trust, maybe I
Speaker 1: should say quiet about it and just do it and
Speaker 1: suck it up. And no, you gotta just sucks because like,
Speaker 1: one of my best childhood memories and it sounds it's
Speaker 1: being forced to go down in your uncle my second favorite.
Speaker 1: So funny if you're like seriously though, one of my
Speaker 1: favorite memories was being groomed. And this is gonna sound
Speaker 1: like that. I'm coming out again. So I know my
Speaker 1: grandpa would give me backrubs when I was a kid.
Speaker 1: Didn't make you uncomfortable, not at all. I'm fine, I
Speaker 1: know that, But I'm saying that's what's so sad about
Speaker 1: this is that there's something weird about that. If you
Speaker 1: felt uncomfortable, it would be weird. It was my favorite thing. Well,
Speaker 1: that's not that that was I'm not saying that I think.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that. It's I'm just saying that, like
Speaker 1: people could through this, what we we're trying to mine
Speaker 1: is about listening to the children. It's not about looking
Speaker 1: with your own eyes. It's about knowing when your kid
Speaker 1: is uncomfortable and letting them say something. You if I
Speaker 1: saw my little boy getting rubbs backrubs from his grandpa,
Speaker 1: let's say it's the dad of my husband. So it's
Speaker 1: not a dad that I've been around as a little kid.
Speaker 1: So I know he's safe. My dad he could rub
Speaker 1: kids back and I would be like, oh, that's fine,
Speaker 1: that's what you think. Well, I know he'sn't a little girls,
Speaker 1: not a little boy. So um, I uh, I would
Speaker 1: if you read the kid, it's not about you being
Speaker 1: an adult reading adults, because adults will trick you do.
Speaker 1: Not rely on that spidy sense about adults. Look at
Speaker 1: your kid because kids know and kids tell the truth,
Speaker 1: and they always know. I've heard so many stories about
Speaker 1: mosticians and the kids are the kids know what's what's
Speaker 1: happening is not good, and they just feel so scared
Speaker 1: to tell an adult. And you need to let your
Speaker 1: kids know. These people are gonna say that you're gonna
Speaker 1: We're gonna they're gonna murder mommy and daddy if you tell,
Speaker 1: they're gonna say and they're all lies. So if someone
Speaker 1: says the stuff, you need to tell them what what
Speaker 1: they're gonna hear so they get ahead of it. Let's
Speaker 1: get to the news. That's my little Uh. This this helps.
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not arguing it. This helps. I hope
Speaker 1: Grandpa is cool. Oh man, it's Wednesday, folks, you know
Speaker 1: what that means. It is Wednesday. I hope you're having
Speaker 1: all the swells out there. We're coming to Texas, Austin, Dallas, Houstons.
Speaker 1: I mean that's all San Antonio. We're not going to
Speaker 1: We're not going there. You're not going to play. No. Yeah,
Speaker 1: can you name another Texas down Umbilene. What are your
Speaker 1: thoughts on Austin? Um? Um Texas? Yes, um, sorry, ham
Speaker 1: trap private private. Um, it's I uh, Austin the city.
Speaker 1: I um My thoughts are I don't It's kind of
Speaker 1: like a Bourbon Street type thing. I like, don't drink.
Speaker 1: But I also I think it's just um. I always
Speaker 1: described you know how they always say there's a garbage
Speaker 1: patch in this in in the ocean. That's the size
Speaker 1: of Texas. I a would say that Austin is like
Speaker 1: that garbage patches, like reusable tote bags of the garbage patch.
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, it's like this part of the
Speaker 1: garbage pats it's like liberal, you know, they're like they're
Speaker 1: they're a little It's like St. Louis and Missouri, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like it's different than what you
Speaker 1: think of the rest of the state. As it's two
Speaker 1: hyped up though I always feel like people high up Austin. Like,
Speaker 1: once I get to Austin, my life will be good.
Speaker 1: Like it's like one of those kind of places. I
Speaker 1: feel like it's top five wherever you go. Okay, where
Speaker 1: would you imagine? Food trucks, That's what I meant, food trucks, music,
Speaker 1: Honky tonks. Wait, that's Nashville ship. It's the same. I know.
Speaker 1: I've always had good show. I think of Tobo Chico.
Speaker 1: That's the first place I had too, Chico. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: so I'll have a bucket of those backstage. I'm excited.
Speaker 1: Two shows. Yeah, so we're gonna be there. Paramount fear alright,
Speaker 1: news story, Noah. If you feel alone and afraid, warm
Speaker 1: up your hands because the study suggests that physical warmth
Speaker 1: has the same lasting effect as the presence of a
Speaker 1: social support provider, and physical warmth inhibits fear learning and response.
Speaker 1: My grandpa's hands. So warm up your hands and then
Speaker 1: touch yourself or just like warm yourself. Remember he did you? Remember?
Speaker 1: I never saw it. They say that warmth has the
Speaker 1: same um effect as like a social support. So that's why,
Speaker 1: like we always gravitates to like something warm if we're
Speaker 1: sick or if we're afraid of something. Yeah, and it's
Speaker 1: like almost like you know, it's the way we describe
Speaker 1: people who we want to be around. They're warm, she's cold.
Speaker 1: This is not even a temperature thing that makes sense,
Speaker 1: you know. Girls often asked, like a lot of guys
Speaker 1: put their hands in their own pants because our balls
Speaker 1: are so warm and it warms up our head. I
Speaker 1: always put my hands in mind it's coming to get
Speaker 1: inside your own flames. Well, I just do it between
Speaker 1: my lighte or just go like this. You don't need
Speaker 1: to do your balls. You can just do it between
Speaker 1: your thighs. That's where our balls are that I forgot
Speaker 1: that those dangle down. But this all makes sense. So
Speaker 1: many guys will watch. Even when you're with your brother,
Speaker 1: with your brother, with your brother, with your brothers, you
Speaker 1: will all just look over and there'll be six guys
Speaker 1: on accouch with their hands on their own dick. It's weird.
Speaker 1: And if there's something comforting about I mean, I like
Speaker 1: holding dicks, like when I like I'm falling. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: like it's like one of those slurpies. I don't know,
Speaker 1: it just feels like it almost feels like I'm holding
Speaker 1: their hand but it's not as like sometimes when I'm
Speaker 1: holding like my boyfriend's hand in bed, like I feel
Speaker 1: like he's probably just waiting until he can like let
Speaker 1: go of it. But as penis, like, I feel like
Speaker 1: I can just hold that for forever. It's not gonna
Speaker 1: it just doesn't. It feels so it just feels like
Speaker 1: like like just I'm holding onto something. I don't do
Speaker 1: it all the time, but I like the feeling of it.
Speaker 1: You got him buy the balls, No, I like that.
Speaker 1: But as a guy, I just think, like, you know,
Speaker 1: there's when you're flexed, you don't want people down there.
Speaker 1: It's not yeah, but there's a different kind of flaccid.
Speaker 1: We've talked about this before, but like a true flaccid
Speaker 1: almost in your body penis. You don't want your girlfriend
Speaker 1: using as a supporting hand point. You just don't. It's
Speaker 1: just not comfortable. As a guy, you wanted you still
Speaker 1: wanted to be presentable. Man, I love the a c
Speaker 1: in my room so much. I sleep so cold, sixty
Speaker 1: degrees sixty. I wake up in the morning and is
Speaker 1: so fucking cold. I love it so much. I'm just
Speaker 1: like if I, if I, if I would have taken
Speaker 1: your room I would be in hell because you don't
Speaker 1: get they did, just you cannot keep it as cold
Speaker 1: as I would want it to be. It's just so awesome.
Speaker 1: I never want to move from this part. But it's
Speaker 1: the coldest room I've ever been able to get anywhere.
Speaker 1: It's actually annoying because I live in the one bedroom
Speaker 1: and whatever. No one cares about this, but the living room.
Speaker 1: For some reason, how it's set up and same here too,
Speaker 1: it just feels more open and the air feels colder
Speaker 1: outside the bed. Maybe because you like a warm bedroom. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I like a sixty nine. Now it's so hot. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And are you wearing like long pants and like bundled
Speaker 1: up you know? Oh yeah, you're waiting to pooing? Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, let's go to the next story. All right,
Speaker 1: next story. I have to show you something air show. Okay,
Speaker 1: no Sebastian student or now. I don't think this happened recently,
Speaker 1: but I just saw this in my feed. Recently. A
Speaker 1: German pro surfer rode a wave said to be over
Speaker 1: a hundred feet tall at Nazari, Portugal, which is the
Speaker 1: world's biggest wave of the season. And I wanted to
Speaker 1: show this to you. You do well. I know I've
Speaker 1: seen documentaries on it. You know, I'm a surfer. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I mean it looks insane. It looks like
Speaker 1: you're looking at you can't even tell the way the
Speaker 1: wave takes up the whole screen, so you don't even
Speaker 1: see the top of the wave. It looks like the sky,
Speaker 1: and from where I'm seeing it just looks like a
Speaker 1: jet flying across the sky leaving Camp Trails. Wave is
Speaker 1: so huge. Um did he die? No, he survived and
Speaker 1: he set a world record. Dude, my dad's cousin is
Speaker 1: one of the first people to ever do giants. Giants. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he started because he did it. First of all, there's
Speaker 1: great white sharks out there. It's a fucking like mile
Speaker 1: pop paddle wave. I understand that, but they're dead. They're
Speaker 1: dead if they there's jet skis there, there's like I'm
Speaker 1: my uncle, my dad's cousin, Mark Runnecker. If you look
Speaker 1: him up, Mark Ronnicker, he is up one of the
Speaker 1: first big wave surfers ever. Mark fuh is a famous
Speaker 1: guy that died. He was really good friends with Mark.
Speaker 1: But um, yeah, my my dad's cousin isn't like all
Speaker 1: these books. He was interviewed on sixty Minutes by Ed
Speaker 1: Bradley about surfing giants, like he's in documentaries and stuff
Speaker 1: like that, but it's it's a wild The reason why
Speaker 1: this is crazying. I just don't get why you would
Speaker 1: do that. The reason why this area is crazy. It's
Speaker 1: so close to shore that you can see how big
Speaker 1: waves are. Mavericks is like a mile Like I didn't
Speaker 1: know that Mavericks is like out out. So that's why
Speaker 1: your uncle is such a badass, because he had to
Speaker 1: paddle out a leash. They they he was really again,
Speaker 1: I remember when they started using jet skis to pull
Speaker 1: them out. He was that ship. That's plus ship. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he used to paddle out. Yeah. I thought this was
Speaker 1: interesting though, because um in an interview they asked him
Speaker 1: how do you prepare mentally to take on some of
Speaker 1: the biggest and most dangerous waves in the world, and
Speaker 1: he said, for me, the mental preparation and readiness comes
Speaker 1: through physical preparation. The team has to be the right team.
Speaker 1: People must be on the same page, and you have
Speaker 1: to be able to trust your jet ski drivers and
Speaker 1: safety team or you just put your hands on your
Speaker 1: own balls. Solo could be a team effort. Is that
Speaker 1: what you're saying was, well, yeah, so it's it's interesting
Speaker 1: that he has to have like the right team around him.
Speaker 1: And I was thinking of what you were saying when
Speaker 1: you're on tour and how important it is for you
Speaker 1: to have like your friends and setting up the right
Speaker 1: kind of yes vibe so that you go into these
Speaker 1: things feeling as good as possible. Well, my dad always
Speaker 1: quotes this, uh will Lenda guy. He used to be
Speaker 1: a tight rope walker back in the days and he
Speaker 1: would do these you know. Yeah, there's like a Lenda
Speaker 1: family and the father died plummeted to his death doing
Speaker 1: one of these ty wrote walks, and his wife said
Speaker 1: that the only time she has ever heard him say like,
Speaker 1: I'm nervous about this one was the one he died on,
Speaker 1: and she had never seen him have any kind of
Speaker 1: nerves or second guessing before that. Not to say that
Speaker 1: like that's what did it, but or that maybe he knew.
Speaker 1: But you know, it's just a lesson about just believe
Speaker 1: in yourself kind of thing and have this like unshakable confidence.
Speaker 1: But I don't understand doing something that it goes back to,
Speaker 1: I mean, that's a very slow death defining thing. Well, Chris, no,
Speaker 1: it's not as fast you've fallen in your Yeah, he
Speaker 1: fall very fast. But Chris, when we were watching and
Speaker 1: that's if you guys seen sixteen Peaks whatever, sixteen new
Speaker 1: one by Johnny Hughes, a mountaineering teenager and stereotypes amazing character. Um,
Speaker 1: what do you mean? Have you ever seen that movie candles?
Speaker 1: Fourteen peeks? Oh? Yeah, well fourteen Peaks. Did you see it? Yes?
Speaker 1: The beliefs guy, I saw some of it. I was
Speaker 1: in and out. I was watching it with Chris and
Speaker 1: there's a part that's like K two you know, people
Speaker 1: who attempt K two one and four mountaineers who attempted die.
Speaker 1: And Chris was going like the whole movie is like God,
Speaker 1: I would love to do this ship. And I'm just
Speaker 1: like kind of biting my tongue, being like, okay, please
Speaker 1: stop saying that, because I love you and I don't want.
Speaker 1: But like there's and then when they said that thing,
Speaker 1: I go, would you do that one? Would you do
Speaker 1: that one? And he's like yeah, and I go one
Speaker 1: and four die? You would do that one? If one
Speaker 1: and four those are the odds? He was like, I
Speaker 1: was that mad I was like, what are you talking about?
Speaker 1: Why would you ever do something where one in four
Speaker 1: people die from doing it? That is just so stupid
Speaker 1: to me. It makes me you ever even climb the mountain?
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, like to go from that to like, well,
Speaker 1: like he he would work up to that, he's not
Speaker 1: gonna go do that tomorrow after it hips the Castlewood.
Speaker 1: I mean this is he just says that it would
Speaker 1: be something he'd want to do in his lifetime. That
Speaker 1: it made me so mad that you're not allowed to
Speaker 1: if you if I And he goes, but if I
Speaker 1: died doing it, like I would die doing what I
Speaker 1: love And I go, I go, but you care so
Speaker 1: much about being there for others in your life, like
Speaker 1: he goes, I don't care if I die that way,
Speaker 1: that would be the greatest way to go out. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, but what about me? Like I care, Like
Speaker 1: isn't there something to living for others? And I gotta
Speaker 1: I would love to interview the guy that dies on
Speaker 1: K two and it's like pretty stoked about how you're
Speaker 1: dying right now, and they'll be like, like freezing to death,
Speaker 1: Like it's not a cool way to die you either.
Speaker 1: I think it's suicidal, to be honest with you, I
Speaker 1: think it's just people that like to do that stuff
Speaker 1: are suicidal. Have you ever seen that Alex home in
Speaker 1: a different way than most people climbs No, no, no leash,
Speaker 1: no fucking wire not just I don't get it. Why
Speaker 1: would you? Can you try to help me understand, like
Speaker 1: really quickly, why someone would want to do something where
Speaker 1: guaranteed one and four die? Would you do that? I
Speaker 1: understand skydiving, You're asking the wrong person. You should ask
Speaker 1: someone who would be inclined to do it. You know
Speaker 1: what you're kind of death are? You know? Obviously does
Speaker 1: like kind of like ice climbing ship? Probably? Yeah? But
Speaker 1: does that make you mad when you're like, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: marry you, motherfucker. You better not be climbing fourteen ers.
Speaker 1: Next time you get in a fight, just send him
Speaker 1: a plane ticket. I just get anxiety because I keep
Speaker 1: thinking like I have to be there and I have
Speaker 1: to do like also do it, and then he just
Speaker 1: reassures me like, no, this is something I'll do with
Speaker 1: my friends. I don't know why it bugs me, because
Speaker 1: first of all, I want my boyfriend to be alive,
Speaker 1: and especially if I'm look towards having a life with
Speaker 1: this person growing old. I mean, that's the goal, and
Speaker 1: you're jeopardizing that goal because you want to like take
Speaker 1: a picture on a fucking mountain and like sit on
Speaker 1: the mountain, breathe in the air. Like I think his argument.
Speaker 1: I think his argument would be, or these people's arguments
Speaker 1: that go, well, if I can accomplish this, I'll feel
Speaker 1: so good about myself. I'll be a better husband. Do
Speaker 1: you I know? But I'm not saying that. I want
Speaker 1: to be honestly, if if he wouldn't give up that,
Speaker 1: if he that was his goal, I'd say, then you
Speaker 1: need to be with someone. I just think you gotta
Speaker 1: started a smaller mountain started. Why are we going one
Speaker 1: out of four? I've been suicidal before, and people go,
Speaker 1: how could you be suicidal? And I'm like, because I'm
Speaker 1: depressed and I hate life. But if you're someone who
Speaker 1: likes life, why would you do something where there's chance
Speaker 1: you're going to die? Because on the other side of
Speaker 1: it is glory that you get to be like I
Speaker 1: survived this thing. Why would you take that risk if
Speaker 1: you didn't enjoy life? Really? Because I don't think you
Speaker 1: can enjoy life without doing it. I guess I just don't.
Speaker 1: I wish again. It just makes me like I don't
Speaker 1: like that I can't understand it, and I think I
Speaker 1: just need to. I need to understand it. I mean,
Speaker 1: I can't relate it to anything in my life where
Speaker 1: I'm like, there's nothing. Dragon wings at six Flags, Okay,
Speaker 1: how many of people have died? Zero? But it was
Speaker 1: so scary? What about chicken wings at Hooters? Okay, we
Speaker 1: gotta take it, freak, let's do Why do I care?
Speaker 1: Why do I care? Okay? Kim Kardashian comments on Pete
Speaker 1: Davidson's b D E while talking about their first kiss.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. She said it was a stage kiss,
Speaker 1: but it was still a little zing. It wasn't anything
Speaker 1: like super crazy. I was like, wow, I really haven't
Speaker 1: kissed anyone else in ten years, so maybe I'm just
Speaker 1: being stupid. It's just nothing. And then a few days
Speaker 1: later I was like, hmm, there is some b D action.
Speaker 1: But the reason why I brought the story up is
Speaker 1: because I wanted to know if you guys remember your
Speaker 1: first kisses. And for Nikki, I guess this would be
Speaker 1: the seventh first kiss with Chris oh, like the first
Speaker 1: kisses with a person that you're with. Yeah, yeah, no, no,
Speaker 1: with your partners. Real quick, I just want to say
Speaker 1: that I loved their first kiss because it was when
Speaker 1: they were playing the Aladdin sketch. We've all seen like
Speaker 1: the still image of it. He for like their anniversary,
Speaker 1: her birthday or something got her the rug and the
Speaker 1: Genie lamp in the costumes from their first kiss, and
Speaker 1: I thought that was, like, I think that's just so sweet,
Speaker 1: like someone remembering like that first kiss. Time. Um, you
Speaker 1: know what this tells me? What it tells me. Not
Speaker 1: many people will have access to Kim Kardashian, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean? Like that's all this is access, Pete Davidson, Well,
Speaker 1: Brenna slid into your d M s and she wouldn't
Speaker 1: have known about it had she not listen to you
Speaker 1: on a podcast, Like everything is chance. I get, I
Speaker 1: get all that, but I'm just saying that, like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, like I haven't kissed anyone in ten years.
Speaker 1: How many guys are even in the circle that can
Speaker 1: kiss Kim Kardashian. You have to get it ridden into
Speaker 1: a sketch. It's absolutely she left her husband for one
Speaker 1: for the first guy. She guess she didn't leave. I know,
Speaker 1: but my point, I guess. And my first kiss with
Speaker 1: with Brenna was actually fantastic. Do where were you first day?
Speaker 1: And um where was it? The car? It was her
Speaker 1: getting into her car. We oh my god, we might
Speaker 1: have kissed before we I think we packed before that,
Speaker 1: but then it was the kids, before the car and
Speaker 1: before getting packed, before your first like, why would you
Speaker 1: peck because it always comes at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. I know it came in
Speaker 1: the middle of the date. I think I'm almost positive.
Speaker 1: But yeah, we definitely grabbed each other's asses during the date,
Speaker 1: which was so hot to just get that out of
Speaker 1: just like doing it as a bit ust. It was.
Speaker 1: It was bit ish. It wasn't like fucking we can't
Speaker 1: even stop ourselves from our romance. But I don't know.
Speaker 1: She was wearing a little dress and her ass was
Speaker 1: fucking looking great, and but she must have done something
Speaker 1: that led you to go, Okay, I can touch this
Speaker 1: person's ass. You don't just do that. Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1: I don't. I can't remember. I guarantee you I know
Speaker 1: what it was. It was probably like you said, something
Speaker 1: about like butt and then you're like, I got pretty
Speaker 1: good when she goes, oh really, and then you're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you can feel it if you want, and then she
Speaker 1: probably didn't you go, you go, I want to feel
Speaker 1: yours and then she probably was like, go for it,
Speaker 1: and then stuck out her button. Then you felt it.
Speaker 1: I think that's exactly what happened. I mean, I'm not
Speaker 1: joking you. I know, I know that's what happened. I
Speaker 1: know how you work. I know I would like artiness works. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like that's the only way that could happen before a kiss. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a good point. Yeah, is you going? You you
Speaker 1: conduct it if you want to feel it. And then
Speaker 1: you flexed and she was like okay, and then yeah,
Speaker 1: and then you made it and she goes you can
Speaker 1: if you want, and you go, oh my god, and
Speaker 1: she bent over and you're like, this girl's cool, and
Speaker 1: then you did it. Yeah. I think that's exactly what happened. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Do you remember you? Yeah? Yeah, my first yeah, first kiss.
Speaker 1: Oh is the best kiss of my life. The first
Speaker 1: first one was U was the first time that I
Speaker 1: um said, you know, I'm not going to be the
Speaker 1: first one to do it. I'm gonna wait. I would
Speaker 1: have kissed. I would if I was sixth Avenue. It
Speaker 1: was um the comedy, you know. We had hung out
Speaker 1: a little bit, but one night, one day before then,
Speaker 1: and I would have probably my old ways would have
Speaker 1: been like can we just make out like I always
Speaker 1: did that bit, you know, and then it would break
Speaker 1: the tension and we would kiss, and then the guy
Speaker 1: would eventually not like me because I took control of
Speaker 1: the situation. Even though he was like, that's awesome that
Speaker 1: you said that, it would never work out in the end.
Speaker 1: So this time I was like, I'm not going to
Speaker 1: make the first move. I'm changing my ways. And we
Speaker 1: hung out and he didn't make a move, and I
Speaker 1: was just like so sad, and then um, I had
Speaker 1: given up on him. And then I was doing a
Speaker 1: set one night and I was just like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm going to throw out one more chance, and I
Speaker 1: was like going to the convert at eleven o'clock on
Speaker 1: a school night. We both worked on Nikki's Air Live
Speaker 1: and it was the next day and he lived in
Speaker 1: Queens in green Point and Brooklyn, and so I was
Speaker 1: like I was in the city and I was like, hey,
Speaker 1: any chance you're in the city and he was like
Speaker 1: it was ten thirty and he was like, or maybe
Speaker 1: it was like nine thirty ango. He said no, um
Speaker 1: why and I said, oh, well, I have a set
Speaker 1: at the Cellar tonight at eleven and I'm headed there now.
Speaker 1: And I thought, if you were in the city, it
Speaker 1: would be cool if you dropped by, and he was like,
Speaker 1: I'll be there, and I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 1: I remember going running out of my room to Onion
Speaker 1: being like he's coming. Oh my god, this is happening.
Speaker 1: And I was just like he's like, this guy is
Speaker 1: putting an effort. He's gonna come to the city on
Speaker 1: a school night to hang out with me late at night.
Speaker 1: I'm going. I was just like so excited, like suddenly
Speaker 1: this thing. I had had a crush on him for
Speaker 1: like two months at that point. Every day see him
Speaker 1: at work, just like falling on the floor like I
Speaker 1: love it. And I was so excited. And then he
Speaker 1: shows up and we are just like at this table,
Speaker 1: like awkwardly, like just sipping Seltzers, and I go down
Speaker 1: and do my set and I'm like, please don't come
Speaker 1: down and watch me, because I knew that that was
Speaker 1: just like not gonna give me. I was just just
Speaker 1: too nervous. And then I came back upstairs and he
Speaker 1: was like made best friends with the table next to
Speaker 1: us of this like table like fun ladies, like middle
Speaker 1: aged ladies that were out, and he was they were
Speaker 1: just like we love him. And I was just like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, like he's sitting with these ladies. And
Speaker 1: then he comes back to my table. Already. Lang comes
Speaker 1: in and I had just done his like show, and
Speaker 1: he was like, hey, Nikki and like came come up
Speaker 1: and gave me a hug. And Chris is a huge
Speaker 1: dirty work fan, huge, and so he was like I
Speaker 1: cannot believe already, Lang, your friend's dirty l So it
Speaker 1: was like kind of like a good and then and
Speaker 1: then it was just so late. It was like two am.
Speaker 1: The place starts almost like closing, and I guess the
Speaker 1: point where we're just like okay, and so we're walking
Speaker 1: out and I'm just like I don't know what to do,
Speaker 1: Like I know that I want to kiss this guy,
Speaker 1: and like it's he's he's hung out long enough, I
Speaker 1: know he likes me, he knows I like, and it's
Speaker 1: it's I'm terrible at flirting, so I'm sure that was
Speaker 1: giving him nothing. But then we walk, you know, we
Speaker 1: walked down with double We take a left on you know,
Speaker 1: we take a left whatever, it doesn't matter. We take
Speaker 1: a left on fourth Street, third Street, and then we
Speaker 1: get to sixth. We get down to sixth Avenue and
Speaker 1: sixth Avenues goes uptown and I was going to grab
Speaker 1: a cab to go uptown and it was also the
Speaker 1: train entrance for him. Now, Billy Joel, okay, did you
Speaker 1: go on a bridge over trable water or now? And
Speaker 1: then uh So I'm just like waiting and I'm like,
Speaker 1: NICKI do not fucking say anything because I wanted to
Speaker 1: break the tensions so bad because we're just kind of
Speaker 1: like on the corner like okay, well, and I just
Speaker 1: like kind of like I'm looking down, I like look
Speaker 1: up at him, and he just goes get over here,
Speaker 1: and he just like grabbed my wrist and just like
Speaker 1: pulled me over and we just like made out and
Speaker 1: it was it was the best and I was just
Speaker 1: so glad, like great, we kissed, it's over, like end
Speaker 1: of the night, like I could just go home. Success.
Speaker 1: And he was like, do you want to come over?
Speaker 1: And I was like, no, tomorrow, and I was like taxi.
Speaker 1: He said he could not believe how fast it happened
Speaker 1: between like kissing me, going no, yeah right, TAXI pulls up,
Speaker 1: I get inside it and I waved goodbye, and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I got it, you know, and that was it. I
Speaker 1: like that you didn't let him go home. No, I
Speaker 1: would never have, as I was like, I was such
Speaker 1: a I'm such a prude. I would have never done that. Initially,
Speaker 1: I was very like I just wanted to kiss him,
Speaker 1: and I was so glad that I still liked him
Speaker 1: after we kissed, because that for me, it always as
Speaker 1: soon as I knew a guy liked me, I would
Speaker 1: always not like them anymore. Um. But I was still
Speaker 1: very like, just like so into it. I was so excited,
Speaker 1: and I was like scared of like penis, Like I
Speaker 1: still was like, oh, I don't know what that's gonna be,
Speaker 1: and I don't know if I'm good at stuff and
Speaker 1: you know, all that fraught stuff. So let's get a
Speaker 1: final thought. Do you think you meet it's probably a
Speaker 1: good like uh, a good venue to meet someone at,
Speaker 1: like the seller, like it gives you a sense of value,
Speaker 1: right because it's something you do, you're gonna you're gonna
Speaker 1: look cooler at like that stuff for a man. For me,
Speaker 1: I didn't do it as I just was like, this
Speaker 1: is a place I'm where I It was just a
Speaker 1: place to go, and it was a thing that I
Speaker 1: could make it seem like if he didn't like me
Speaker 1: at least, it's just I'm inviting a friend to come
Speaker 1: to this thing. It wasn't me being like, look how
Speaker 1: cool I am at all, because first of all that
Speaker 1: the women don't do that. Men think that way. Women.
Speaker 1: It doesn't work for us to be like, look how
Speaker 1: much value I have? We don't. We just know we
Speaker 1: may try that in the beginning. We see you do it,
Speaker 1: and we know it works on us, so we go,
Speaker 1: maybe it'll work for me in a way with already
Speaker 1: being there like it didn't. That didn't affect him liking me.
Speaker 1: It was like cool moment I was like, oh maybe
Speaker 1: I have some class. It didn't. He doesn't give a
Speaker 1: funk like that. That was just where he was like,
Speaker 1: oh that's cool, but it wasn't didn't make him want
Speaker 1: he's kind of in that world. Yeah, he kind of
Speaker 1: in that world. Anyway. He agreed more sexually attracted to me,
Speaker 1: whereas women definitely get more sexually attracted to someone who
Speaker 1: seems to have like famous from What was it like though,
Speaker 1: being on stage and performing in front of him? Was
Speaker 1: that like the first time you did in front of
Speaker 1: him down he didn't go downstairs to watch me, so, um,
Speaker 1: I actually had him not watched me for like it
Speaker 1: was like six months he never saw me do stand up.
Speaker 1: I forget the first time he saw me, but I
Speaker 1: was really nervous and um, and now it's my favorite
Speaker 1: thing to perform when he's watching, because um, I just
Speaker 1: know like he is he's he's not, it's a it's
Speaker 1: another thing again of like I don't think it gives
Speaker 1: He's not more like corny for me. Afterwards, he's just
Speaker 1: like I can't believe how good he's just like proud
Speaker 1: of me, like almost the way like a family member
Speaker 1: or a friend would be of like you're so good,
Speaker 1: Like he's just a fan in that way. But it's
Speaker 1: not like, um, it doesn't contribute to our romantic relationship.
Speaker 1: How does the field perform in front of Brenna when
Speaker 1: the crowd is tired before they really get in? Did
Speaker 1: they when they're light laugh. We talked about that, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: they were quiet crowd, That's what she said to me.
Speaker 1: They were quiet. Oh my god, Chris is seeing me
Speaker 1: bomb so much? But this is the thing. And I thought, God,
Speaker 1: I would admit that I I didn't bomb, but it
Speaker 1: felt kind of like a bomb. Especially I didn't feel
Speaker 1: like they were quiet audience until I heard her. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And it was just it was funny. I I really
Speaker 1: did enjoy it, but it was circumstantial. Yeah, how does
Speaker 1: it feel performing it? I like it like I could.
Speaker 1: It was funny on one of the jokes, it's like
Speaker 1: a delayed kind of laugh. You know, it's a thinker.
Speaker 1: Which one is your delayed laugh joke? I want to know.
Speaker 1: I just want to know. It's the end of the
Speaker 1: dog Walker story. How does tell me? But I made
Speaker 1: more money that joke? Okay, yeah, yeah, I got it.
Speaker 1: So it usually takes a second. It took this crowd.
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding. It's so weird when I'm not saying
Speaker 1: I must no comedi, I'm not Dmitri Martin up here.
Speaker 1: No one ever would would think that. I mean everyone
Speaker 1: probably think, no, I know what you're saying. Though it
Speaker 1: took I'm not kidding long enough where I almost just
Speaker 1: I almost started going almost good night. No, it was
Speaker 1: my closer. Oh my god, so I almost get went
Speaker 1: all right and just ended on the and I gave it,
Speaker 1: and I heard Brenda laughing in between the She would
Speaker 1: have probably been on this. There's something you did that
Speaker 1: night that Because St. Louis is not a dumb audience,
Speaker 1: they tend to get stuff like I've performed with them
Speaker 1: enough and I know where some audiences are a little
Speaker 1: bit slow to like just you know, jokes that are
Speaker 1: a little bit more under the radar, and you gotta
Speaker 1: gotta listen like Kevin Neil and his stuff for it,
Speaker 1: like you got to be listening to get it. St.
Speaker 1: Louis isn't like that. I'm thinking you must have done
Speaker 1: something that made it a little bit more. It needed more,
Speaker 1: they needed more time with it. But Brendon knows the joke,
Speaker 1: so her laughing allowed me to pause just long enough
Speaker 1: for a hit. Yes, and it hit hard, really hard,
Speaker 1: because they're proud of themselves once they get it, the
Speaker 1: more work they put into it, it's a thing of like,
Speaker 1: oh wait, we can say it's like the edge thing.
Speaker 1: You don't you guys can't handle this. And then when
Speaker 1: they when they work for and go, no, we can,
Speaker 1: they put in work and so they're gonna like it
Speaker 1: all the more. And when an audience feels proud of
Speaker 1: themselves for getting something that's like they feel smart, they
Speaker 1: laugh so much harder. That's why you always when you
Speaker 1: do a joke where it's very niche and only like
Speaker 1: three people will get the reference, people laugh super Those
Speaker 1: three people laugh super hard because they want you to
Speaker 1: know I got it, I'm smart. I do the same
Speaker 1: thing I've I've done that too, you comedians where I'm like,
Speaker 1: I need them to know that I got that because
Speaker 1: I'm on the same wavelength and I'm smart. Mark Marrit like,
Speaker 1: I know a word you chose Gary Goldman, Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: but I know that Gary is not impressed by like
Speaker 1: pseudo intellectuals, so I would never try to even I
Speaker 1: know he's so smart that he knows I'm dumb, so
Speaker 1: I wouldn't even try to convince him that I get it.
Speaker 1: If that Yeah, it's like your word choice, man, you
Speaker 1: could have win with a different word. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I know, man, Yeah, I know, but anyhow, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: saw Dmitri Martin perform at the West Pond Beatim probably
Speaker 1: fifteen years ago. My favorites of all time. But like
Speaker 1: I would say, the crowd didn't seem like the smartest crowd.
Speaker 1: I would say of the crowd would laugh just so
Speaker 1: they didn't No one knew they were dumb, like I
Speaker 1: honestly could. Like I remember looking at tables, going, you
Speaker 1: didn't really get that, You're just looking around, and then
Speaker 1: laughing because I'm trying to think of one of his
Speaker 1: jokes and I can't recall any of them. But so good, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's arched over today. We have another so tomorrow that
Speaker 1: we're about to record. I can't wait for it. Um,
Speaker 1: we'll see you then, don't be n that's why we
Speaker 1: haven't tried