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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need

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Speaker 1: advice and relationships, sex, dating, work, parenting, and more, please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey FM dot com

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Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your

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Speaker 1: letter live on the air. I'm just like we're gonna

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Speaker 1: read that one right there. Buckle up, hold on tight.

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Speaker 1: We got it for you. Here it is the Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you nephew. Subject when the Shoe is on the

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Speaker 1: other foot. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm in my mid thirties

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Speaker 1: and I've been married thirteen years and we have four kids.

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Speaker 1: In the beginning of our marriage, I was hard headed

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Speaker 1: and I had a lot of growing up to do.

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Speaker 1: And seven years after we got married, I had an

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Speaker 1: affair and my wife ended up catching us in the

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Speaker 1: act in my car. I fought hard to get my

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Speaker 1: wife back, and since then I have been the ideal

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Speaker 1: husband and father. My wife forgave me. She said she

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Speaker 1: would never forget the image of me having sex with

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Speaker 1: another woman. A few months ago, I was paying bills

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Speaker 1: on the laptop that I share with my wife, and

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Speaker 1: I started looking through old pictures and videos of our children.

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Speaker 1: I came across a video of my wife and a

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Speaker 1: man lying on a bed in what looked like a

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Speaker 1: nice hotel room. The video was from three years ago

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Speaker 1: and it was not very clear, but I could tell

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Speaker 1: it was my wife in her underwear. I sat there

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Speaker 1: and watched my wife being intimate with another man. I

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Speaker 1: immediately confronted my wife, and she stood there with a

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Speaker 1: smirk on her face. She admitted to cheating on me,

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Speaker 1: filming it and planting the video so I could see it.

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Speaker 1: She said she only had sex one time and she

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Speaker 1: felt terrible afterwards. She asked me how it feels when

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Speaker 1: the shoe is on the other foot. I was breathing

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Speaker 1: fire and I felt like a fool, so I did

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Speaker 1: not say anything. She told me that it was three

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Speaker 1: years ago, so it should not be an issue now.

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Speaker 1: I cheat it first, so I haven't said much to

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Speaker 1: her about it, but it's eating me up inside. She

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Speaker 1: will not tell me who the guy is in the video,

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Speaker 1: so I'm suspicious of every man in her life right now?

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Speaker 1: Do I have to take this one like a man

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Speaker 1: and move on with my life and this marriage? How

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Speaker 1: should I handle this? Please? Help? Oooh? Yeah? Do you

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Speaker 1: have to take this one like a man and move

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Speaker 1: on with your life and this marriage. My response is

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Speaker 1: if you can. I mean, hey, she she took you

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Speaker 1: back after she caught you in the car in the

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Speaker 1: car with another woman. She caught you, so I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know, can you do this? I mean as a

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Speaker 1: man and you're a man, and it's quite different when,

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Speaker 1: as you say, the shoe is on the other But

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Speaker 1: there's a whole double standard with cheating. You know that

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Speaker 1: the woman, just like your wife did, usually takes a

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Speaker 1: man bag, she forgives him. They work through it. If

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Speaker 1: they have to go to counseling or whatever. It takes time,

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Speaker 1: but they can work through it. And usually women, you know,

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Speaker 1: a lot of women take their husbands back after their

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Speaker 1: men are caught cheating. Men, on the other hand, rarely

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Speaker 1: can work through it and stay with their wives after

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Speaker 1: they've caught their wife cheating, after their wife has slept

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Speaker 1: with another man, after they see on the laptop that

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Speaker 1: their wife has been with another man. You know, I mean,

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Speaker 1: men are territorial and steeple talk more about that. I'm

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Speaker 1: sure you know, it's just not the same to a man.

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Speaker 1: It's just not the same. Some men can, but most

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Speaker 1: of them can't. So you know which guy are you?

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Speaker 1: Are you gonna be able to live with this? You know,

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Speaker 1: you got to take into consideration that your wife forgave you,

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Speaker 1: and you know how she must have felt catching you.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you know you saw it on the laptop.

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Speaker 1: You didn't catch her in the act. She said, she

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Speaker 1: planted it so you could see it. So I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know which guy are you? Are you the one

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Speaker 1: that can maybe work through it and take her back,

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Speaker 1: or you know, are you gonna, you know, just get

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Speaker 1: a divorce and move on because you can't. Your wife

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Speaker 1: definitely wanted you to see this video though she knew

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Speaker 1: it would hurt you, and she knew that you would

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Speaker 1: feel some kind of way because you knew nothing about

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Speaker 1: what she was doing. So she wanted to get you

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Speaker 1: back and she did. So you know, only you can

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Speaker 1: answer that are you gonna be able to take her back?

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Speaker 1: Only you can? Like I said, some men do, which

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Speaker 1: one are you? Steve Shirley? Really really good answer, really

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Speaker 1: really good answer. I don't know what angle I would

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Speaker 1: take on this, but let's just go through this letter.

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Speaker 1: Dog you thirties, thirteen years, you've been made folk kids.

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Speaker 1: He was hard headed in the beginning, had a lot

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Speaker 1: of growing up to do, you know. So seven years

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Speaker 1: after we got mad, I hadn't a fan. My wife

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Speaker 1: ended up catching us. Well, now, this wasn't the first

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Speaker 1: time you did something, though, This was the time she

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Speaker 1: caught you. You had something, and you don't ever get

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Speaker 1: caught like that. It's you. You had some warnings. But

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Speaker 1: like he said, you know when he was first out there,

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Speaker 1: he was hard headed. He had a lot of growing

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Speaker 1: up to do, you know, in the beginning to their man.

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Speaker 1: So what that means he did? He done a couple

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Speaker 1: of tricky things. Now you want to talk about the

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Speaker 1: one that seven years after you got married, you had

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Speaker 1: an a fair and your wife ended up catching us

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Speaker 1: in the act in my car, boy, boy, pass down,

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Speaker 1: run your ankles, put all up in the damn window.

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Speaker 1: Give us the visual, Steve. Yeah, he got one high

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Speaker 1: heel in the back window, the other high heel on

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Speaker 1: the wrestling the drive. That's what she can't get out

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Speaker 1: of hood, and I can't get it out of mind.

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Speaker 1: And I wasn't even now. Oh, you fought hard to

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Speaker 1: get your wife back, and you've been ideal husband and

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Speaker 1: father since then. Your wife forgave you but she said

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Speaker 1: she could never forget the image of me having sex

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Speaker 1: with another woman. We come back. I got it for you,

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Speaker 1: all right, Steve. This is a crazy letter right here.

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Speaker 1: We'll have part two of Steve's response coming up at

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Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour. When the shoe is

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Speaker 1: on the other foot is the subject of today's strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: Parts two of Steve's of Steve's response coming up at

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Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour, right after this. You're listening,

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Speaker 1: all right, Steve, Let's recap today's strawberry letter. When the

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Speaker 1: shoe is on the other foot. Well, lady in her

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Speaker 1: man in his thirties has been fairly been married thirteen

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Speaker 1: years for kids, had an a fair with somebody. Wife

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Speaker 1: catches him having sex in his car. You fought hard

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Speaker 1: to get your wife back. You've been since then. You've

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Speaker 1: been an ideal husband and father, and your wife forgave you.

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Speaker 1: But she's sad. She could never forget the image of

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Speaker 1: me having sex with another woman is stuck in her

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Speaker 1: head for and that's an ugly image. Like I said,

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Speaker 1: let me paint the image for you. She saw you

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Speaker 1: from behind, hands down around your age. One of the

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Speaker 1: girl's high heels is up in the real window of

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Speaker 1: the car, and the other high heel is on the

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Speaker 1: armrest in the front seat. Really, yeah, that's how you

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Speaker 1: see it. Okay, that's that's the picture. She can't get

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Speaker 1: out of her mind. Now, a few months ago, you're

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Speaker 1: paying bills on the laptop that you shared with your wife,

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Speaker 1: and that ain't good. I started looking through old pictures

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Speaker 1: and videos of our children. I came across a video

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Speaker 1: of my wife and a man lying on a bed

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Speaker 1: and what looked like a nice hotel room. That's what

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Speaker 1: it was. It ain't just looked like that, That's what

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Speaker 1: it was. The video was from three years ago, and

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Speaker 1: it was not very clear, but I could tell it

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Speaker 1: was my wife and her underwear. I sat there and

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Speaker 1: watched my wife being intimate with another man. Don't you

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Speaker 1: watched your wife have sex? How long you do that?

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Speaker 1: Did he watch the whole thing? I immediately confronted my wife,

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Speaker 1: and she stood there with a smirk on her face.

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Speaker 1: She admitted to cheating on me filming it and planted

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Speaker 1: the video so I could see it. This a gangster move, right,

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Speaker 1: This is a goal gangster move right. Here she'd been

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Speaker 1: just waiting on the day till you find it, because

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Speaker 1: she knew you would where you found it three years later,

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Speaker 1: and and and and and and she planted there so

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Speaker 1: you could see it. She said she only had sex

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Speaker 1: one time, and she felt terrible after us. She asked

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Speaker 1: me how I feel when the shoe is on the

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Speaker 1: other foot? In other words, how you like seeing your

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Speaker 1: spouse having sex with someone else? God, though you are right,

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Speaker 1: HI feel shoe on the other foot. I was breathing fire.

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Speaker 1: I felt like a fool, so I did not say anything.

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Speaker 1: She told me it was three years ago, so it

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Speaker 1: shouldn't even be an issue now. Then you thought I

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Speaker 1: cheated first, So I ain't said much to her about it.

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Speaker 1: But it's eating me up inside. Then she won't tell

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Speaker 1: you who the guy is in the video, So now

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Speaker 1: I'm suspicion of every man in her life. Right now?

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Speaker 1: Do I have to take this one like a man

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Speaker 1: and move on with my life and this marriage? How

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Speaker 1: should I handle this? Please? Help? Well? First of all,

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Speaker 1: take take this line out. Do I have to take

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Speaker 1: this one like a man and move on with my

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Speaker 1: life and this marriage? I can't answer that for you.

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Speaker 1: Though Shirley was exactly right about that. Some men can,

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Speaker 1: some men can't. You have to decide which one you are.

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Speaker 1: But you kind of you you litified now you litified

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Speaker 1: then you didn't know it had you thought it had

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Speaker 1: went out. But now you start in this. It was

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Speaker 1: nine that's all coming down to here and not burnt

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Speaker 1: your damn y'all up now, see, So I don't know

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Speaker 1: what you should do, but she did a gangster movie. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: she wanted you to see how it felt. Now, both

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Speaker 1: of y'all young. You're in your thirties, you're young. You

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Speaker 1: could throw your family away and go start over. But

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Speaker 1: you do love your wife. She obviously loved her husband.

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Speaker 1: She said she felt terrible about it. I don't know

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Speaker 1: whether she did or not. That sounds like the big

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Speaker 1: Christian thing to say, though, at least make you thinking,

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Speaker 1: but horrible. But you probably ain't seen them panting. She

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Speaker 1: had on in that video ever before, so there was

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Speaker 1: some type of preparation name for it. So I don't

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Speaker 1: know how you hand it. What was the visual again though?

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Speaker 1: In the car Steves for the visual was you had

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Speaker 1: your pants down around you ain't clesy and just she

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Speaker 1: was just all she saw your ass. Another girl she

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Speaker 1: got one of her high heels up in the rear

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Speaker 1: mirror or the car the rear up in the window

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Speaker 1: or the car back or the back sea that and

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Speaker 1: the other foot is up on the drive aside head rest.

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Speaker 1: You and you in now let it have. And now

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Speaker 1: your wife when she looked in the console with you,

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Speaker 1: she ran around to the passenger side just to see

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Speaker 1: your face and it was you, Oh yeah, yah. You

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Speaker 1: tried to get out of there, act like what nothing happened.

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Speaker 1: But one thing about it, it don't go down right away.

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Speaker 1: So soon as you you snatch out to take a

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Speaker 1: minute for everybody realize, Hey Hayton, post your comments on

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Speaker 1: today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and

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Speaker 1: face and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast under Man

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Speaker 1: and coming Back. At forty six minutes after the hour,

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Speaker 1: a resident poet, Oh Junior in the building. He's written

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Speaker 1: a poem for today and we're gonna talk about it.

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Speaker 1: Right after this. You're listening to the Dame Harvey Morning Show.