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Speaker 1: Two hopeless daters one dating app, then dares you swipe right.

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Speaker 2: The question is whose love life is more tragic.

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Speaker 3: It's Battle of the Tinder Dates.

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Speaker 4: It's the dating game show that got a little too

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Speaker 4: passionate during CPR class when you threw on some Marvin

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Speaker 4: Gay and Eagle straddle that dummy.

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Speaker 2: It's compressions only now, Jack.

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Speaker 4: It's the Battle of the Tinder Dates, where two of

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Speaker 4: our listeners go head to head to find out whose

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Speaker 4: dating life is the most tragic. We'll explain the rules

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Speaker 4: in just a second, but first let's meet today's contestants.

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Speaker 4: In this corner, she likes sending naughty picks, but only

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Speaker 4: using the super pixelated camera on her two thousand and

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Speaker 4: one Razor flip phone, and that's why the boys call

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Speaker 4: her Motorola.

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Speaker 3: Lola doesn't look.

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Speaker 2: Good in those pixelated picks.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you have some big squares there.

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Speaker 2: And in the other.

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Speaker 4: Corner, she set up a kissing booth outside the UN

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Speaker 4: headquarters to end global conflicts a sexier way.

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Speaker 2: Wait a minute, World.

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Speaker 3: Peace Denise.

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Speaker 4: Representative from Libya really got into it.

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Speaker 3: But here's how the game works.

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Speaker 4: One contestant will start by telling one of their worst

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Speaker 4: date stories, the other one trying to counter with a

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Speaker 4: nightmare story of their own. We're gonna go back and

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Speaker 4: forth for three rounds until we declare a winner, starting

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Speaker 4: it off with Motorola, Lola, let's go.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So this guy and I went on a walk

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Speaker 2: in the park, but there were pigeons everywhere. I mean,

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Speaker 2: like a gross amount of pigeon.

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Speaker 3: Ull oh very park.

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Speaker 2: Like, yeah, it happens. But the funny thing is this

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Speaker 2: guy gets really excited when he sees the pigeons and

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Speaker 2: he pulls a letter out of his bag, a letter. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, huh, okay, quirky, intrigued, and then he tries

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Speaker 2: to give it to a pigeon, telling me he's trying

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Speaker 2: to train them to deliver mail.

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Speaker 3: Carrier pigeon.

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Speaker 4: It's probably a little bit cheaper than using the postal

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Speaker 4: service is delivering mail?

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Speaker 2: Who needs forever stamps when you have forever pigeon. Okay,

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Speaker 2: you just asked the best question, which is who is

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Speaker 2: he delivering mail to? He was trying to contact his

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Speaker 2: ex had blocked him, so she's going to.

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Speaker 3: Read that a pigeon in the bark dropped. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 3: probably to tell his x ham with a much hotter girl.

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Speaker 4: Now that means world piece, Denise, we're over to you.

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Speaker 1: So you're in the middle of dinner at a quiet restaurant, okay,

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Speaker 1: and the guy's like, hey, sorry, I have to take

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Speaker 1: an important phone call, and he takes it in front

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Speaker 1: of me.

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Speaker 2: Interesting, you'd usually excuse yourself. Yeah, yeah, No.

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Speaker 1: So it turns out it's a virtual court appearance for himself.

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Speaker 2: No.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't tell exactly what for why we were in

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Speaker 1: a virtual court, but here we were in this he's

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Speaker 1: help the judge. He actually has a character witness right

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Speaker 1: next to him. We see to point the camera at me.

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Speaker 3: Oh what did you say?

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Speaker 1: I got up and left?

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Speaker 2: Whoam then yeah.

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Speaker 3: To Lola, back to you.

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Speaker 2: Okay, this was actually a really good date with this tall,

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Speaker 2: dark and handsome guy. Okay, yeah. Yeah. We ended up

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Speaker 2: going back to his house and we're in the middle

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Speaker 2: of making out and then he like pulls back and

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Speaker 2: looks deep into my eyes and he tells me how

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Speaker 2: much I remind him of his fourth wife.

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Speaker 1: Did you ask if it was married past tense because

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Speaker 1: it felt very present last your eight You know what?

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Speaker 2: I did not even ask after that, I just knew

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Speaker 2: I did not want to be whatever.

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Speaker 3: The next number was going to be Denise Counter.

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Speaker 1: So I had this guy who offered to pick me

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Speaker 1: up for our day, which horay right, But when he

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Speaker 1: shows up, I opened the passenger car door and there's

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Speaker 1: already a girl in the front seat. He tells me, no, no,

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Speaker 1: it's okay, just hop in the back. So I get

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Speaker 1: in the back, and then he proceeds to introduce it,

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Speaker 1: saying that he klimbed our dates too close together, so

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Speaker 1: he is going to drop her off first and then

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Speaker 1: we can start her day.

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Speaker 3: Oh that's a gentleman. Moved to at least drop the

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Speaker 3: other date off.

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Speaker 1: He wasn't late to get you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Wait was she? Chill? No?

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Speaker 1: It was very awkward and si oh wow, Okay, her

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Speaker 1: name is Stacey.

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Speaker 4: You guys are now friends apparently, So okay, I heard

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Speaker 4: bell there. That means we're on to the third round.

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Speaker 4: We need your best stories here, ladies. So Motorola, Lola,

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Speaker 4: what do you got?

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Speaker 2: Okay? I was on this date with this guy. We're

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Speaker 2: driving to the restaurant and he just says real quick,

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Speaker 2: like I get to stop off somewhere. Is that cool?

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Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, totally. We enter a building and end

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Speaker 2: up in a waiting room of a dentist's office.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, this is sexy. Keep going.

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Speaker 2: So I finally turned to him and I'm like, do

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Speaker 2: you's an appointment or you like picking something? Use, Like,

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Speaker 2: what's what's going on? And he tells me that he

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Speaker 2: just enjoys the smell of fluoride so much so that

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Speaker 2: it turns him on. Yeah, he was trying to set

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Speaker 2: the mood for us, dude, and the dentist's office does

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Speaker 2: have a real distinct smell.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like a medicine. Yeah, Denise, this is your

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Speaker 3: last chance.

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Speaker 1: So I went to dinner with this guy. He was

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Speaker 1: super cute and everything was going really well okay, and says,

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Speaker 1: you know, every couple argues at some point, I wonder

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Speaker 1: if we're good at that. I'm like, oh no, I

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Speaker 1: don't know, considering it's the first day. And he's like,

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Speaker 1: why don't we try it after dessert?

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Speaker 2: And I laugh it off.

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Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, sure, Yeah, I really thought he was joking.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, let's play an art.

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Speaker 1: We finished, he gets the check, we get up, and

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Speaker 1: he gets mad over nothing.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: He gives up and he leaves text me when I

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Speaker 1: think he got far enough away to be like, now

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Speaker 1: time for makeup hookup.

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Speaker 3: Actually, this is kind of smart. He's like role playing

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Speaker 3: but not you his own thing. All right, there it is.

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Speaker 4: We got the final bell there that means the match

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Speaker 4: is over.

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Speaker 3: We need to score it, Alexis.

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Speaker 1: I get Lola for.

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Speaker 3: The guy trying to contact his ex via pigeon.

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Speaker 2: Oh man, I gotta go Denise with court date phone

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Speaker 2: call and the.

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Speaker 3: Three yearls were all tied up. You get the final call.

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Speaker 3: I gotta go with Lola.

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Speaker 4: Congratulations the Ductress of Solitude, And as a prize, Brook

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Speaker 4: will tell you her favorite sexy emoji that she uses

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Speaker 4: to flirt with.

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Speaker 3: I like, how about winkie face a wow originally classic

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Speaker 3: text in the seven, eight, five nine too.

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Speaker 4: If you want to appear on the next edition of

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Speaker 4: Battle at the Tinder dates your phone

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Speaker 2: Tawn is next Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.