1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:00,720
Speaker 1: This is John.

2
00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:04,560
Speaker 2: This is your og Okay Storytime podcast hosts, and we.

3
00:00:04,519 --> 00:00:06,840
Speaker 1: Have some rockin stories for you coming up.

4
00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:09,639
Speaker 2: But before you rock out with your socks out, I

5
00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:11,479
Speaker 2: got a quick chum in an ad break from a

6
00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:13,520
Speaker 2: sponsors keeping the show rocking and rolling.

7
00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:18,400
Speaker 3: We found my mother in law's secret stash of stolen food.

8
00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:23,280
Speaker 3: Ooh a secret stash, you say, who did she steal

9
00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:26,200
Speaker 3: it from? We are at my mother in law's for

10
00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:29,080
Speaker 3: a couple of weeks because our house is being renovated.

11
00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:31,159
Speaker 3: Now only a couple of days have gone by and

12
00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:33,680
Speaker 3: it is already a drama. I won't go into that.

13
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,479
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Itch that needs scratch

14
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:38,159
Speaker 3: and if you want to smit your own stories, got

15
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:41,120
Speaker 3: to our slash oke Storytime separate it. So three days ago,

16
00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:43,519
Speaker 3: my fiance made a cake for all of us. She

17
00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:45,720
Speaker 3: just wanted to be kind. My mother in lawnch fried

18
00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:48,159
Speaker 3: the cake, said that she doesn't really like it and

19
00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:50,480
Speaker 3: that it's too chocolatey. Ain't no such thing.

20
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:53,600
Speaker 1: Too chocolatey has got to be the best to chocolatey.

21
00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:56,880
Speaker 3: Insult that being said, not that I count or that

22
00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:58,440
Speaker 3: I don't want her to eat from it, but she

23
00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:02,080
Speaker 3: basically ate half a the whole cake in twenty four hours.

24
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:03,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, I liked that.

25
00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,840
Speaker 3: She's like two chocolate. No, no, She's like it was

26
00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:10,200
Speaker 3: probably like no, no, guys, it's so chocolate, you're not

27
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:10,720
Speaker 3: gonna like it.

28
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:13,400
Speaker 4: You're not gonna like it. To make sure it tasted

29
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:13,920
Speaker 4: like poison.

30
00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:14,880
Speaker 3: It's trash.

31
00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:17,679
Speaker 4: All eat it off. Another half poison public service.

32
00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:20,240
Speaker 3: The next day, she said that now she's gonna make

33
00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,240
Speaker 3: a cake. I thought that she must have been feeling

34
00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:24,320
Speaker 3: sorry that she ate so much and that she wanted

35
00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:25,959
Speaker 3: to make up for it. She made a cake and

36
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,200
Speaker 3: put it on the table. All three of us took

37
00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:30,800
Speaker 3: a slice and ate it. It wasn't bad. So now three

38
00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:33,280
Speaker 3: quarters of the cake remain on the table. Yesterday I

39
00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,880
Speaker 3: walked out to the kitchen and all three quarters of

40
00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:38,880
Speaker 3: the cake disappeared. This is like, uh, what it feels

41
00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:42,040
Speaker 3: like to live with Sam? What just all my big

42
00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:45,040
Speaker 3: goods and Christian Actually, yeah, I make big goods and

43
00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:45,520
Speaker 3: they're gone.

44
00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:47,680
Speaker 1: At d the day I put my hat places and

45
00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:48,760
Speaker 1: it's gone and gone.

46
00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,400
Speaker 3: Yes, well, maybe you should have put it in the cabinet.

47
00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:52,280
Speaker 1: Weird long.

48
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:55,400
Speaker 3: I immediately asked both of them. My fiance said that

49
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:57,560
Speaker 3: she only ate one more slice. My mother in law

50
00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,880
Speaker 3: was very intimidated, and she only said that her f

51
00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:02,080
Speaker 3: was over from the neighborhood and she gave her the

52
00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:04,120
Speaker 3: cake so that it doesn't dry out. It was a

53
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:07,160
Speaker 3: very crappy excuse, but okay, we went with that. Okay,

54
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:11,000
Speaker 3: who are you, oh pie? The cake? Please? Oh Pie?

55
00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:13,320
Speaker 3: Your mother in law made that cake. If she wants

56
00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:16,280
Speaker 3: to give it to someone else, that's her prerogative. I

57
00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:18,000
Speaker 3: don't think that. I don't think this is such a

58
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:18,480
Speaker 3: big deal.

59
00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:20,720
Speaker 1: We might be dealing with the arbiter of cake.

60
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:23,920
Speaker 3: I ay, Yeah, he's like, oh, she ate all the cake.

61
00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:27,080
Speaker 3: She liked the cake, it was yummy. Okay, he'd be fair.

62
00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:27,919
Speaker 3: She didn't sold it.

63
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,880
Speaker 1: He meant to be enjoyed by all.

64
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:34,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, but maybe he snooze you loose. Today in the morning,

65
00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:36,560
Speaker 3: we were searching for cloth hangers in the house because

66
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:38,359
Speaker 3: we needed more in our room. My mother in law

67
00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:40,000
Speaker 3: was at work and we texted her if we could

68
00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:43,160
Speaker 3: check her clothes cabinet for hangers. She said, of course.

69
00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:46,120
Speaker 3: When we opened the cabinet there were two plates in it.

70
00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:49,640
Speaker 3: Both the cakes that my fiance and the one she

71
00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:52,160
Speaker 3: made were on it. Next to them a spoon and

72
00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:55,040
Speaker 3: traces that she had been eating them there, traces like

73
00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:55,760
Speaker 3: the wings.

74
00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:58,360
Speaker 1: So the cake is still there. It's still there.

75
00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,760
Speaker 3: She's just eating it slowly in the closet.

76
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,320
Speaker 1: That's not allowed. That's not allowed.

77
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,800
Speaker 3: She's a little hoarder, she's a little she's she's hogging

78
00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:06,240
Speaker 3: all the cake.

79
00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:08,800
Speaker 4: You can't hog all of this, well, can't shrine.

80
00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:10,760
Speaker 3: Mm hmm, this is this is I don't know about this.

81
00:03:10,919 --> 00:03:13,480
Speaker 3: We both got furious and waited for her to come

82
00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:15,600
Speaker 3: home and talk to her. I think it's really funny

83
00:03:15,639 --> 00:03:20,720
Speaker 3: that they're furious. They're like the cake, No, you can't

84
00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:21,520
Speaker 3: eat all the cake.

85
00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:25,480
Speaker 1: Maybe this is like a once a year type situation

86
00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:28,800
Speaker 1: and every other day they're just eating boiled chicken and

87
00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:29,840
Speaker 1: white rice.

88
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,400
Speaker 3: I don't know if I would be furious about this though,

89
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:33,840
Speaker 3: unless it were that scenario.

90
00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:36,640
Speaker 1: All I ate was boiled chicken rice, fried rice.

91
00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:39,320
Speaker 3: But I don't know if I would be furious in

92
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,760
Speaker 3: the situation. I think I would be concerned. I'd be like,

93
00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:43,640
Speaker 3: you know, you don't have to you know, like we

94
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,080
Speaker 3: can put a thing that says mother in law's don't

95
00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:47,000
Speaker 3: eat like it can just.

96
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:48,400
Speaker 1: Be why do you have shame cake?

97
00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:52,000
Speaker 3: In eat in the open. Thank god that I told

98
00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:54,080
Speaker 3: my fiance that she should take a photo of it,

99
00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,200
Speaker 3: because when she arrived home and we told her what

100
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,000
Speaker 3: we found, she told us that we can't go to

101
00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:00,560
Speaker 3: her realm anymore and that we found nothing. Then we

102
00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:03,680
Speaker 3: showed her the picture nothing just like you didn't see anything,

103
00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:07,960
Speaker 3: we have proof. She was very aggressive and embarrassed and

104
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,160
Speaker 3: couldn't really know what to say. We thought about it

105
00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:12,160
Speaker 3: and she went away. We don't know what to think

106
00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:14,080
Speaker 3: at this point. Is she afraid we're going to eat

107
00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:16,000
Speaker 3: it from her? She wants them all for herself. We

108
00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:18,279
Speaker 3: didn't talk since then, but I don't know where to

109
00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:20,719
Speaker 3: go from here? Do we stay? I couldn't believe she

110
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:23,039
Speaker 3: would do something like this because she's not obese or

111
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:26,479
Speaker 3: a food to act like this. She barely eats throughout

112
00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:28,640
Speaker 3: the day and she's pretty fit at it. I don't

113
00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:31,159
Speaker 3: think she has an eating disorder. She barely eats normally

114
00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:33,400
Speaker 3: and she's very thin. Dude, what you can have? I

115
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:35,200
Speaker 3: feel like this guy's like, I don't think she has

116
00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:37,440
Speaker 3: an eating disorder because she doesn't eat that much. She

117
00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:40,720
Speaker 3: barely eats, honestly. You can have eating disorders both way.

118
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:41,919
Speaker 1: Buddy, wake up.

119
00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:44,200
Speaker 3: I think she has some problem with sharing with people,

120
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:46,760
Speaker 3: and she always thinks about herself. In the past, whenever

121
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:48,800
Speaker 3: we went out somewhere, she demanded that she was in

122
00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:51,480
Speaker 3: control of where we go, Otherwise she gets angry. Also,

123
00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:53,920
Speaker 3: she's never satisfied with anything that we or her new

124
00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:56,279
Speaker 3: boyfriend do. We can do everything for her, but she

125
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,400
Speaker 3: always finds something to complain about. Also, she has a

126
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,120
Speaker 3: list in her head of what thing she buys in

127
00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:03,719
Speaker 3: the fridge, and if one day we buy proportionally less,

128
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,760
Speaker 3: she tells us that she thinks we should have bought

129
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:08,800
Speaker 3: X Y because she too bought y X. Or in

130
00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:11,479
Speaker 3: restaurant once she pays, the next time we are paying,

131
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:13,840
Speaker 3: she would order three times the amount she can eat

132
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,000
Speaker 3: so that she can bring it home. Oh like would

133
00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:19,120
Speaker 3: order more when the ope is paying, or something I

134
00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:21,760
Speaker 3: can saying not to waste. I'm not sure. I can't

135
00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:24,000
Speaker 3: clearly as something going on with her, but doesn't matter

136
00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:25,920
Speaker 3: how we tell her, she thinks that we are attacking

137
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:28,039
Speaker 3: her or that we are making up stories of what

138
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:30,400
Speaker 3: she did or does. We can't really speak to her.

139
00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:33,320
Speaker 3: And there is an update. I posted a story yesterday

140
00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,400
Speaker 3: about my mother in law hiding our cake and even

141
00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:37,720
Speaker 3: her own from us. You can have slash have been

142
00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:40,039
Speaker 3: reading about it. I got a lot of responses, so

143
00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:43,000
Speaker 3: I'll debunk this for you guys. General update pretty much,

144
00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,480
Speaker 3: the whole day yesterday was awkward because my mother in

145
00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:48,640
Speaker 3: law had an attitude. Anything she did. She was slamming

146
00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:51,920
Speaker 3: everything together and making a terrible loud noise, not talking

147
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:55,039
Speaker 3: to us, and only giving passive aggressive comments. In the evening,

148
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:58,480
Speaker 3: we called her to the table and very calmly we apologized.

149
00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:00,520
Speaker 3: We tried telling her that she might need to see

150
00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:03,000
Speaker 3: a professional, not the first time we've told her this,

151
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,040
Speaker 3: but again she stood up and told us to leave

152
00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:07,320
Speaker 3: her alone. Today we woke up and she acted like

153
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:10,640
Speaker 3: nothing happened yesterday and concern to eating disorders. A lot

154
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:12,960
Speaker 3: of you suggested that she is an eating disorder. Okay,

155
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,320
Speaker 3: at this point I can accept that back, but that's

156
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:18,080
Speaker 3: not the only problem she has. I clearly wouldn't make

157
00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:19,480
Speaker 3: such a fuss about a cake if there was no

158
00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:22,200
Speaker 3: other reason to be upset. The reason I'm upset is

159
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:24,880
Speaker 3: that she's always coming out with some drama, and she's

160
00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:27,320
Speaker 3: always draining us with it. Why don't we go elsewhere

161
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,680
Speaker 3: when we talked about moving somewhere. We never even thought

162
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:31,800
Speaker 3: about moving in with her. We wanted to move in

163
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,320
Speaker 3: to my college friend's apartment that he rents, but without

164
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,560
Speaker 3: us even mentioning anything, my mother in law said that

165
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:38,760
Speaker 3: we should move in with her. After we moved in

166
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:41,480
Speaker 3: on the first day, she mentioned that she offered us

167
00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:43,880
Speaker 3: her house because she feared we would move into her

168
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:46,720
Speaker 3: ex husband's house aka my father in laws. This is

169
00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:51,480
Speaker 3: idiotic because my father lives ludicrously far away from us. Anyways,

170
00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:53,960
Speaker 3: the reason we settled on my mother in law's house

171
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,200
Speaker 3: was that, in the end, my fiance said it would

172
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,919
Speaker 3: be a nice opportunity to reconnect with her mother after

173
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,479
Speaker 3: all these years of only seeing each other two to

174
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,039
Speaker 3: three days every nine or so months. She also thought

175
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:05,960
Speaker 3: we could save some money that we would have spent

176
00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:09,080
Speaker 3: on rent. Needless to say, we are not really reconnecting

177
00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,320
Speaker 3: at this point. I would rather have spent the extra

178
00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:15,480
Speaker 3: money and history. My fiance told me about her childhood

179
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,000
Speaker 3: and she said her mother was always like this. Plus

180
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:22,000
Speaker 3: even worse, she mentally mistreated my fiance and totally destroyed

181
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,480
Speaker 3: her self esteem. With the mother that doesn't find anything good,

182
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,000
Speaker 3: it was impossible to impress her or to feel like

183
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:29,960
Speaker 3: she had done enough. She always walked on eggshells around

184
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,480
Speaker 3: her because you never knew when she would explode. My

185
00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:35,040
Speaker 3: mother in law pushed everyone away from her life. My

186
00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:38,000
Speaker 3: fiance still goes to a psychologist because of that and

187
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:41,280
Speaker 3: in the past add similar traits. Luckily, she has healed

188
00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:43,880
Speaker 3: somewhat and it does not affect our relationship as much.

189
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,280
Speaker 3: Talking with my mother in law. We tried to talk

190
00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:48,000
Speaker 3: to her in the past, but she thinks we are

191
00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:50,320
Speaker 3: attacking her or that we are against her, and she

192
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:54,320
Speaker 3: goes fully defensive. She starts crying and shouting she's one

193
00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:57,040
Speaker 3: hundred percent sure she has no problems, and we're just

194
00:07:57,120 --> 00:08:00,000
Speaker 3: making up lies about her all that, how dare you?

195
00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,800
Speaker 3: I raised you? You have no right to tell these

196
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:03,360
Speaker 3: things to me.

197
00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:04,200
Speaker 1: Stuff.

198
00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,600
Speaker 3: Once in the past, my father in law called a

199
00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:08,840
Speaker 3: professional to their home to try to talk to her.

200
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:11,480
Speaker 3: After three sessions, the psychiatrist said that she is a

201
00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:14,520
Speaker 3: person who will never heal because she's incapable of accepting

202
00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:15,400
Speaker 3: her faults.

203
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:17,600
Speaker 4: Dang, dude, dang.

204
00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:20,200
Speaker 3: When the psychiatrist says you're a lost.

205
00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:22,440
Speaker 4: Cause, it seems like oh, not enough time.

206
00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:25,640
Speaker 3: Also seems like a bad psychiatrist. Yeah, it seems like

207
00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:28,240
Speaker 3: a terrible psychiatrist. He's like, I can't help him. There

208
00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:32,839
Speaker 3: beyond help beyond. She's the hardest case I've ever seen.

209
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:36,520
Speaker 3: He couldn't diagnose her problems because she has more than one.

210
00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:38,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, this guy's not.

211
00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:41,280
Speaker 3: It's like, I don't know, she has a lot of problems.

212
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:42,240
Speaker 3: I can't pick.

213
00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:44,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm diagnosing her as difficult.

214
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,800
Speaker 3: It's too hard. But he said that. My mother in

215
00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:51,360
Speaker 3: law is otherwise saying just very damaged. You're useless, dude,

216
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:55,439
Speaker 3: You're useless. This was fifteen years ago. Maybe today's psychology

217
00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:58,440
Speaker 3: is more developed. Absolutely, I would hope so. Or maybe

218
00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:00,960
Speaker 3: that guy was trash and could managed to help her.

219
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,520
Speaker 3: But until she accept that she needs help, there's nothing

220
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:06,559
Speaker 3: we can do. And there is a second update. But

221
00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:07,760
Speaker 3: what do you have your thoughts?

222
00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:13,920
Speaker 1: Well, fifteen years ago, it's like what two thousand and six? No, No,

223
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:15,320
Speaker 1: that's nineteen years ago.

224
00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:16,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's twenty ten.

225
00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:18,319
Speaker 1: That's a really easy one.

226
00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:20,520
Speaker 4: I mass bro quick mass.

227
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:23,520
Speaker 1: I was trying to make it up with the timeline

228
00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:25,600
Speaker 1: of the Sopranos so that it would be like the

229
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,120
Speaker 1: psychologist that he saw.

230
00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:34,120
Speaker 3: No, it's but uh, yeah, I feel like pee, things

231
00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:35,040
Speaker 3: have progressed.

232
00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:36,920
Speaker 1: I got nothing to say to this guy.

233
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:42,240
Speaker 3: Yeah. Update two, I twenty six male, and my fiance,

234
00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:45,040
Speaker 3: twenty eight female, are staying at my mother in law's

235
00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:47,640
Speaker 3: fifty seven female house for a couple of weeks. Little

236
00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:49,840
Speaker 3: to say that after a couple of days of being

237
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,400
Speaker 3: her best, she started to make our stay here a

238
00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:56,560
Speaker 3: living hell. She's always complaining, always angry, and criticizing anything

239
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,480
Speaker 3: we do. We wanted to make her a nice meal

240
00:09:58,559 --> 00:10:01,480
Speaker 3: that other day, our hot cooking. She already ate that

241
00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,600
Speaker 3: food made by us when she was visiting us, and

242
00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:05,840
Speaker 3: she loved it. We made the exact same food, and

243
00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:08,240
Speaker 3: she started complaining that it tasted weird and that she

244
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:11,840
Speaker 3: better ordered food for herself. Anyways, because she came up

245
00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:13,760
Speaker 3: with the idea that she's too busy to cook, we

246
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:16,040
Speaker 3: should cook the next meal, but only the way she

247
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,800
Speaker 3: asks us to. I started cooking, and she gave very

248
00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:22,240
Speaker 3: strict orders, micromanaging everything. She clearly has time for that.

249
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:24,240
Speaker 3: The funny thing was that she said, this is the

250
00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:26,640
Speaker 3: way our real name of the food is made. But

251
00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:28,920
Speaker 3: believe me, the stuff she put in it, I've never

252
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:30,439
Speaker 3: heard anyone cook it like this.

253
00:10:30,679 --> 00:10:33,120
Speaker 1: She's like first you put in the tail of noot

254
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,880
Speaker 1: or was it the eye of night of Sorry? Come

255
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:37,439
Speaker 1: eating my recipes mixed up?

256
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:40,199
Speaker 4: It was years messing up as recipes.

257
00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:42,640
Speaker 3: Yeah. At one point she gave me a jar of

258
00:10:42,679 --> 00:10:44,520
Speaker 3: pig lard and told me that I should put it

259
00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,640
Speaker 3: in the dish to add more fatty taste. When I

260
00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:49,360
Speaker 3: opened the jar, a very rancid smell hit me. I

261
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,920
Speaker 3: realized that the lard had gone bad, but decided to

262
00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:53,640
Speaker 3: go with it and I put it in the meal.

263
00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:56,280
Speaker 4: Wow, why would you do it, you dumb idiot?

264
00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:56,640
Speaker 1: What?

265
00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:57,920
Speaker 3: I don't feel bad for them?

266
00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,960
Speaker 1: I realized the lord was rancid.

267
00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,600
Speaker 3: I realized he was rancid, but she told me to

268
00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:05,640
Speaker 3: do it, so I had to do it. No, you didn't, No,

269
00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:06,839
Speaker 3: you didn't. You dump dumbs.

270
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,360
Speaker 4: Just following orders, you dumb dumb, You're dumb.

271
00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:11,320
Speaker 1: I was just following chain of command.

272
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:18,720
Speaker 3: Orders are orders. After the food was ready, I quickly

273
00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:21,400
Speaker 3: told my fiance, who knew about this, and thought that

274
00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:23,160
Speaker 3: this is a very good revenge.

275
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:24,600
Speaker 4: Revenge is best dish.

276
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:28,960
Speaker 3: So I'm sorry putting rancid food in someone's dish.

277
00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:32,880
Speaker 1: You realized that bachelism can Yeah, that's like, that's like deadly.

278
00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:35,200
Speaker 3: You could give her like a very severe.

279
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:38,040
Speaker 1: What everyone in this story is annoying and bad.

280
00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:40,440
Speaker 3: Everyone says here and we went out to eat our

281
00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:43,520
Speaker 3: lunch in a restaurant. By the way, you can eat

282
00:11:43,559 --> 00:11:46,640
Speaker 3: with us. Why do you watch full episodes with stories

283
00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:49,240
Speaker 3: just like this? Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or

284
00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:52,199
Speaker 3: iHeartRadio and search up Okay, story time. But there is

285
00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:54,720
Speaker 3: a little bit left to this story. Honestly, I hate

286
00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:55,800
Speaker 3: everyone in the story.

287
00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:56,960
Speaker 1: There's no good guy here.

288
00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:57,280
Speaker 4: I don't know.

289
00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:59,600
Speaker 3: Leave like you guys are like, oh, well, it would

290
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:02,640
Speaker 3: be better to pay rent then stay here? Then do that?

291
00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:03,080
Speaker 2: Leave?

292
00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:04,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, stop it.

293
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:06,520
Speaker 3: Stop Like it seems like you have the money to

294
00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:08,520
Speaker 3: do that, because that was the original plan. But you're like, oh,

295
00:12:08,559 --> 00:12:09,360
Speaker 3: now we're saving money.

296
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:10,720
Speaker 1: Go I'm all for saving money.

297
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,199
Speaker 3: Stop trying to poison people.

298
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:14,160
Speaker 1: Don't poison people with rancid pig lard.

299
00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:16,839
Speaker 3: When we came back, my mother in law was furious

300
00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:19,240
Speaker 3: and said that her meal is inedible. What did I

301
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,920
Speaker 3: put into it? I said, absolutely only what she asked

302
00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:23,960
Speaker 3: me to. She was there to witness. I took a

303
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,560
Speaker 3: spoonful and it was absolutely disgusting.

304
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:30,240
Speaker 1: Took a spoonful of your own poisonous lard meal.

305
00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:32,120
Speaker 4: Hope he's an idiot. Bro.

306
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,439
Speaker 3: It's like, I'll let me check if it's disgusting.

307
00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:41,360
Speaker 1: It's terrible, so rancid lard, You're stupid.

308
00:12:41,559 --> 00:12:44,360
Speaker 3: Then I used a reverse UNO card and started complaining

309
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:46,080
Speaker 3: about the dish. She told me to make that it

310
00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:48,400
Speaker 3: tastes weird and that I know how to cook better meals.

311
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,720
Speaker 3: Her face said it all. I hope she won't complain

312
00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:53,200
Speaker 3: about our cooking anymore. Edit. The food was gulash.

313
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,119
Speaker 4: If you were wondering, Oh, love gulash.

314
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:58,280
Speaker 1: And that's the end of that story. My mother in

315
00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:02,400
Speaker 1: law is extremely controlling. We had to move to another country.

316
00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:05,320
Speaker 3: This country big enough for the both of us.

317
00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:09,320
Speaker 1: Specifically for you. Get out. I thirty nine female, met

318
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:13,520
Speaker 1: my husband, thirty nine male, seventeen years ago. Instant connection,

319
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:17,040
Speaker 1: butterflies love. In a matter of months. He introduced me

320
00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:19,440
Speaker 1: to his parents. I would occasionally take part in his

321
00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:22,160
Speaker 1: family events, and I didn't see anything wrong. I even

322
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:25,000
Speaker 1: thought his parents were caring. I had lost mine long

323
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:27,640
Speaker 1: before meeting my husband, so I thought he was lucky

324
00:13:27,679 --> 00:13:30,120
Speaker 1: to have them, and encouraged him to cherish every moment

325
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,520
Speaker 1: spent together. By the way, this comes from user eld

326
00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:34,320
Speaker 1: to the Yeah and if you want to submit your

327
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:37,920
Speaker 1: own stories, go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. So, boy,

328
00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:42,079
Speaker 1: was I wrong? Since day one, my husband's mother was

329
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:45,720
Speaker 1: all about control, not love. For years, we thought mother

330
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:48,520
Speaker 1: in law was the driving force in her marriage and

331
00:13:48,559 --> 00:13:51,080
Speaker 1: that father in law merely followed her lead no matter

332
00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:53,760
Speaker 1: than madness she pulled him into. Maybe that's true, but

333
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:57,040
Speaker 1: they were in it together for sure. Here's a short

334
00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:59,480
Speaker 1: list of the things mother in law did to us

335
00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:01,720
Speaker 1: over the year. She told anyone who would listen that

336
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,040
Speaker 1: our wedding day was a sham. Right after the wedding,

337
00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:06,560
Speaker 1: she complained to husband that he had failed to show

338
00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:09,000
Speaker 1: her the respect she was due and that he should

339
00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:11,480
Speaker 1: thank her for not making a fuss on the day.

340
00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:13,520
Speaker 1: We had paid for everything and didn't think it was

341
00:14:13,559 --> 00:14:16,160
Speaker 1: an issue, but the lack of control drove her mad.

342
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,000
Speaker 1: She tried to convince husband to divorce me every time

343
00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:21,000
Speaker 1: I went on a work trip, as if my decision

344
00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:22,920
Speaker 1: not to be a stay at home wife or mom

345
00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:26,240
Speaker 1: like she was a personal attack on her. Of course,

346
00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:29,080
Speaker 1: she never said anything to my face. Someday lunches were

347
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:34,000
Speaker 1: all about fake smiles and inconsequential chit chat. She sabotaged

348
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:37,680
Speaker 1: the adoption process we had undertaken with discriminatory statements, even

349
00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:39,760
Speaker 1: though she knew how important it was to us. She

350
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:42,920
Speaker 1: and father in law decided that a grandchild without their

351
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:45,640
Speaker 1: blood couldn't be a grandchild, so they expected us to

352
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:48,000
Speaker 1: give up. They seriously thought we would bend to their

353
00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:50,480
Speaker 1: will and change our life plans for them. They almost

354
00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:53,160
Speaker 1: got what they wanted. I seriously considered leaving my husband

355
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:56,440
Speaker 1: to protect my future child from his toxic tag man.

356
00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:58,160
Speaker 3: Wow, yeh, I go non contact with these people?

357
00:14:58,240 --> 00:14:59,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, what are we saying?

358
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:00,400
Speaker 3: What are we doing? Quite?

359
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:00,720
Speaker 4: Really?

360
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:04,520
Speaker 1: Life works in mysterious ways, and I got pregnant. During

361
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:08,040
Speaker 1: my pregnancy, I received hateful emails, the kind of emails

362
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:11,080
Speaker 1: so detached from reality. Then I realized mother in law

363
00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:12,960
Speaker 1: seriously needed psychiatric help.

364
00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:17,160
Speaker 3: Well, don't call the psychiatrist from last time, because he's useless.

365
00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:18,720
Speaker 1: He would just be like, dude.

366
00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:21,280
Speaker 3: She's she's a lost cause.

367
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,040
Speaker 1: There's nothing I can do here. She's got more than

368
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:26,640
Speaker 1: one problem. It was a difficult birth, and I even

369
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:30,240
Speaker 1: found myself saying goodbye to husband once he had our

370
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:33,280
Speaker 1: perfect angel in his arms. When husband called his parents

371
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,560
Speaker 1: to share the news. He decided to go no contact

372
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,080
Speaker 1: for the first time. Their utter disregard for whether I

373
00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:40,480
Speaker 1: lived or passed away was what got to him. He

374
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:42,440
Speaker 1: had gone through the biggest scare of his life and

375
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:45,680
Speaker 1: they couldn't care less. Instead, they screamed at him for

376
00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:47,880
Speaker 1: waiting until I was out of the woods to call

377
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:51,440
Speaker 1: them on some controlling nonsense. As always anything to remind

378
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:53,960
Speaker 1: husband that he was their son before he was my

379
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,800
Speaker 1: husband or a father. They ambushed us into social events

380
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,920
Speaker 1: with lies. They would invite us to a birthday party,

381
00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:01,160
Speaker 1: but we would be the only one bringing gifts. There

382
00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:03,560
Speaker 1: was no birthday party. It was just an event with

383
00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:07,040
Speaker 1: people we didn't know and distant relatives to showcase mother

384
00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:09,440
Speaker 1: in law as the family matriarch she had never been.

385
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:12,680
Speaker 1: They hacked our emails, stole private photos of husband and I,

386
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:16,440
Speaker 1: and showed them around, calling me a coornography actress within

387
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:19,760
Speaker 1: their circles. We only learned about this years later through

388
00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:23,760
Speaker 1: a relative who finally decided to speak out about their Unfortunately,

389
00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:26,800
Speaker 1: it was too late to press charges. I felt utterly violated.

390
00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:28,920
Speaker 1: That was the moment I knew it was over for me.

391
00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:31,880
Speaker 1: No more trying to understand where they were coming from.

392
00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:35,240
Speaker 1: Mother in law screamed at husband for his disrespect every

393
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:38,640
Speaker 1: time he suggested individual therapy. As a result, husband started

394
00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:41,440
Speaker 1: walking on eggshells, becoming a shell of himself around them

395
00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:45,800
Speaker 1: to avoid irrational outbursts against me or us. They showed

396
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:49,000
Speaker 1: no empathy or support. When husband's best friends suddenly passed

397
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,400
Speaker 1: away in an accident. It was devastating for us and

398
00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:54,120
Speaker 1: still is. They didn't care. As harsh as it sounds,

399
00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:56,880
Speaker 1: I don't think they comprehend what love is. They mimic

400
00:16:56,960 --> 00:17:00,240
Speaker 1: what they see, but inside they are incapable of empathy, kindness,

401
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,000
Speaker 1: or benevolence. They threatened to sue us every time we

402
00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:05,640
Speaker 1: didn't go their way for what you ask, Well, if

403
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:07,680
Speaker 1: they couldn't control their son, they would try to get

404
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,520
Speaker 1: unsupervised time with our kids to keep a hold on

405
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,200
Speaker 1: him through them, not that they would ever succeed. I'm

406
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,920
Speaker 1: sure they lied through their teeth trying, but it revealed

407
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:19,080
Speaker 1: their fundamental problem. You don't lead your life the way

408
00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:21,639
Speaker 1: they want. Of course they're going to threaten you with

409
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:25,080
Speaker 1: legal proceedings. Who does that? These people? Maybe these people

410
00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:28,440
Speaker 1: who are bay. They showed up uninvited to our house

411
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,719
Speaker 1: when they knew dear husband would not be there. There

412
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:33,440
Speaker 1: are countless other examples, including some that made me fear

413
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:35,200
Speaker 1: for the safety of our kids. At some point, it

414
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:38,600
Speaker 1: simply became too much, Too many boundaries were crossed. Husband

415
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:42,080
Speaker 1: firmly told them about his decision to fully go no contact,

416
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,840
Speaker 1: with no coming back. He wished them peace and the

417
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:48,399
Speaker 1: courage to deal with their own unresolved traumas that was

418
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,480
Speaker 1: three years ago. We even moved to another country to

419
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:54,439
Speaker 1: drive home the point the cycle of dysfunction in this

420
00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:58,399
Speaker 1: family would and with us. I'm deeply proud of husband

421
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,919
Speaker 1: for putting his foot down to protect me and our family,

422
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:03,240
Speaker 1: even if it took him years. He needed time to

423
00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:06,639
Speaker 1: untangle why his parents preferred him miserable rather than free

424
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:10,400
Speaker 1: from their psychological hold, why outdated social appearances within their

425
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,400
Speaker 1: small circle mattered more to them than their son's happiness,

426
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,639
Speaker 1: and why we had tolerated them for so long. You

427
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,439
Speaker 1: realized there was never any love and no hope that

428
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:21,160
Speaker 1: it would ever come, which is a shattering realization. Many

429
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:24,400
Speaker 1: bad childhood memories came back to him, memories of neglect,

430
00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:27,200
Speaker 1: humiliation that he had pushed aside to keep the peace.

431
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:30,600
Speaker 1: Now in response, there is love everywhere under our roof.

432
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:33,760
Speaker 1: Husband is the most loving, caring and attentive father one

433
00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:36,400
Speaker 1: could ever wish for. Well, thank goodness to apple fell

434
00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:39,919
Speaker 1: enrolled like way far, super far from the tree, all

435
00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:41,200
Speaker 1: the way down the hill, like one of those chef

436
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:41,800
Speaker 1: buard decas.

437
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,919
Speaker 3: It was more of a dandelion, honestly, oh with a.

438
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:48,480
Speaker 1: Little and it flew a cool too far dandylion, husband,

439
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:49,800
Speaker 1: Get yourself a dandelion, husband?

440
00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:51,440
Speaker 3: Or what's the other one? Is it a pine cone?

441
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:54,080
Speaker 3: Which one? There's like another one that like flies really

442
00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:56,639
Speaker 3: far away, like another pine cone, not a pine but

443
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,960
Speaker 3: like it like another Like it looks like a pine cone,

444
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,480
Speaker 3: you know, looks like one of the pine cone.

445
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:04,879
Speaker 1: Thing with whirligigs, is that what they're called whirligigs?

446
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:07,480
Speaker 3: Leonardo da Vinci modeled.

447
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:10,480
Speaker 1: His spirals over the whirly gig key. Well anyway, Still,

448
00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:12,720
Speaker 1: several times out of the year, out of the blue,

449
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:17,520
Speaker 1: dear husband receives emails from his mother, delusional and violent emails.

450
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:20,320
Speaker 1: He never replies, I blocked her and father in law

451
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,280
Speaker 1: long ago changed my email, phone number and everything else

452
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:25,840
Speaker 1: to avoid being used as a pawn in their games.

453
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:28,280
Speaker 1: They are over seventy, yet the only fuel they need

454
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:30,840
Speaker 1: to live one hundred more years seems to be hating us,

455
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:33,800
Speaker 1: hating me for daring to escape their grip. Why they

456
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,240
Speaker 1: never showed this side before our wedding is beyond me.

457
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,720
Speaker 1: Somehow a switch flipped on that day the masks fell off.

458
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:41,840
Speaker 1: We are far away from them now, but I can't

459
00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:45,040
Speaker 1: stop being afraid they are unhinged. Last email came just

460
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:47,439
Speaker 1: a couple of days ago. Husband showed me their words

461
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:49,760
Speaker 1: don't hurt him anymore. He's immune to their venom. But

462
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,520
Speaker 1: for me, their dedication to reminding us that they are there,

463
00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:54,800
Speaker 1: lurking in the corner, planning for a way back in

464
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,560
Speaker 1: is terrifying. I feel like it will never be over.

465
00:19:57,800 --> 00:19:59,640
Speaker 1: I mean, you literally moved countries.

466
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:03,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, hopefully they can't get right. But the thing, the

467
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:06,240
Speaker 3: whole thing with them hacking into your stuff is scary

468
00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:08,960
Speaker 3: because you know, change your PANDU, Yeah, change all of

469
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:13,360
Speaker 3: your passwords, get like, you know, lock everything down, Yeah,

470
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:16,480
Speaker 3: get some sort of security on your computer. How good

471
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:18,920
Speaker 3: at a hacking are they? Because it seems like they're

472
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,640
Speaker 3: kind of good at hacking and then they're hackers. Yeah

473
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:22,560
Speaker 3: that's what they said.

474
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:24,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. They probably just knew in a

475
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:25,680
Speaker 1: password or something.

476
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:27,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, did they hack or do they just know a password?

477
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,920
Speaker 4: Maybe the past was just so easy and it was like.

478
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:33,160
Speaker 3: How do they how do they get in?

479
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:36,840
Speaker 1: In the end, they won, at least in one way.

480
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:39,640
Speaker 1: They managed to control a major aspect of our lives

481
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,960
Speaker 1: where we live. Coming back to my country, to my

482
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:45,080
Speaker 1: family and close friends is out of the question for now.

483
00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:47,480
Speaker 1: I'm too scared they will find out and all heck

484
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:50,400
Speaker 1: will break loose. That's when you just get the police involved.

485
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:50,720
Speaker 5: Yeah.

486
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:53,160
Speaker 3: If you're like terrified to go back to the country, Yeah,

487
00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:55,720
Speaker 3: be like, hey, I want to restraining order against these

488
00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:58,600
Speaker 3: people exactly. You might not be able to get, you know,

489
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,600
Speaker 3: press charges for the stuff they've done in the past,

490
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:02,320
Speaker 3: but you could probably get a restraining order.

491
00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:05,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, there are avenues to have these people face consequences.

492
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,840
Speaker 1: Thanks for letting me vent. I hope this was easier

493
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:09,840
Speaker 1: to read than it was for me to write. My

494
00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:12,600
Speaker 1: heart goes out to anyone dealing with toxic parents or

495
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,840
Speaker 1: in laws. Save yourselves, break free as soon as you can,

496
00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:18,959
Speaker 1: If not for you, then for your kids. In my experience,

497
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:22,880
Speaker 1: the more there is left unchecked, the worse it gets Yeah,

498
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:24,000
Speaker 1: it sounds about right.

499
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:25,320
Speaker 3: Get out of there.

500
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:28,280
Speaker 1: It's like when you let people get away with bad stuff.

501
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:30,639
Speaker 1: It's like they'll keep doing the bad stuff.

502
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:32,320
Speaker 3: They're getting No, let's get to stop me.

503
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:36,399
Speaker 1: That's crazy. We have some comments. We have a comment here.

504
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:41,120
Speaker 1: Let's read it. Comment one, Dang, your husband should set

505
00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:44,000
Speaker 1: their emails to go directly to junk and then automatically

506
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,600
Speaker 1: delete them. No one needs reminding how unhinged they are.

507
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,959
Speaker 1: I'm so glad he was able to break their cycle. Op,

508
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,960
Speaker 1: he says. I agree with you. Many times. I ask

509
00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:53,080
Speaker 1: husband why he would not do that. He says, he

510
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:55,159
Speaker 1: keeps this channel open because he wants to see what

511
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,040
Speaker 1: they're up to. I don't know how he manages to

512
00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:59,400
Speaker 1: stay so composed. I guess they hurt him so much

513
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:02,760
Speaker 1: he can't be nothing but touched. Now and there is

514
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:05,960
Speaker 1: an update, let's go.

515
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:10,040
Speaker 3: So so he's still talking to them, or at least

516
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:11,080
Speaker 3: still like keeps he.

517
00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:13,560
Speaker 1: Just lets them send emails just to be like, I

518
00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:15,760
Speaker 1: guess I should see what they're doing. And then they

519
00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:19,080
Speaker 1: just send emails like rah, we're gonna come get you.

520
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:21,880
Speaker 1: And then he's like, all right, I guess they're still bad.

521
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:23,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know if you can hold out hope

522
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,080
Speaker 3: on this this one.

523
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:28,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. They're not affecting you just don't

524
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:30,800
Speaker 1: show them to your wife. Don't show them, Nope, don't Yeah,

525
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,840
Speaker 1: definitely Ope. If these emails are affecting you don't read them.

526
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:34,399
Speaker 3: That's true.

527
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:37,000
Speaker 1: Anyway, let's get into it, uh. In my previous posts,

528
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:38,760
Speaker 1: I mentioned that my mother in law would send emails

529
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:40,960
Speaker 1: to my husband out of the blue along the year

530
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:44,840
Speaker 1: emails where she pretends not knowing why husband stopped all communication.

531
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,359
Speaker 1: Last time his parents heard from him was through a

532
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:50,720
Speaker 1: long email in which husband told them that enough was enough.

533
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:53,160
Speaker 1: He basically reminded them of most of the bullet points

534
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:55,760
Speaker 1: in my previous post, so as to conclude that their

535
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:59,840
Speaker 1: toxicity had brought irreversible damage to their relationship based on facts.

536
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:03,320
Speaker 1: They can't deny anything, so they'd rather ignore it. Up

537
00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:05,879
Speaker 1: to this point, they had a tendency to show up

538
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,840
Speaker 1: unannounced at our home. This in addition to their threats

539
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:12,280
Speaker 1: of legally defending their grandparents' visitation rights just to maintain

540
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 1: a minimum level of control over husband. Since as you

541
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:17,320
Speaker 1: can imagine, they don't care about our children and catching

542
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:19,679
Speaker 1: them in schemes to pick up our kids from school

543
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:22,480
Speaker 1: without our permission made us decide to move abroad. This

544
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:24,800
Speaker 1: madness had to stop, and we wanted to start over.

545
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:28,000
Speaker 1: We were privileged and lucky enough to get job opportunities

546
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,600
Speaker 1: in another country right when we needed it, despite the

547
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:33,239
Speaker 1: VID context back then, within a couple of months we

548
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 1: were out. We never told mother in law and father

549
00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:37,680
Speaker 1: in law anything since we were no contact, not when

550
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:39,840
Speaker 1: we left, not which country we were moving to, not

551
00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:41,919
Speaker 1: what we were doing, or for how long. Nothing, not

552
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:44,520
Speaker 1: a goodbye since husband felt that his last email was

553
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:46,760
Speaker 1: crystal clear and the only goodbye that they needed. We

554
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,280
Speaker 1: are now more than two years later. Last year, mother

555
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:51,639
Speaker 1: in law emailed husband to casually drop the name of

556
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:53,679
Speaker 1: the country and city we were living in. As a reminder,

557
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:56,359
Speaker 1: I blocked my in laws everywhere. Husband deleted all his

558
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,840
Speaker 1: social media. The only open channel that husband keeps with

559
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:01,800
Speaker 1: his parents is email replies. He just wants to read

560
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:03,640
Speaker 1: what they're up to, and, as some of you suggested

561
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:06,160
Speaker 1: in comments last time, now, he also wants to document

562
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:07,720
Speaker 1: their lives, threats and harassment.

563
00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:09,439
Speaker 3: I thought for a second that she was saying that

564
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:13,480
Speaker 3: she emailed asking no, but no, she knew where they were.

565
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,119
Speaker 1: Said, you're in Belarus in this city.

566
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 3: How who's her informant?

567
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:19,280
Speaker 1: I don't know?

568
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:20,320
Speaker 3: Is she hacking again?

569
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,119
Speaker 1: Is she a hack? Is she a hacker?

570
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:23,199
Speaker 3: She's a freaking hacker.

571
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:25,919
Speaker 1: Next time, she's going to just send you like GEOE coordinates.

572
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:29,639
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like exactly what hecks Gary.

573
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:32,879
Speaker 1: So that time though, I kind of freaked out, like,

574
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:35,320
Speaker 1: how in the heck could mother in law get that information?

575
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:37,560
Speaker 1: Why doesn't she and father in law let go of

576
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:40,119
Speaker 1: us and do something else with their life. Husband again

577
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:43,399
Speaker 1: checked everything and asked the rare relatives he trusts and

578
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,159
Speaker 1: kept in touch with how mother in law could end

579
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:47,119
Speaker 1: up knowing what country and city we're living in. To

580
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:49,840
Speaker 1: this day, we still don't know. And now for the

581
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:53,440
Speaker 1: latest update. We live in one of the least developed

582
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:56,520
Speaker 1: countries in the world. The UN says a lot of

583
00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:59,480
Speaker 1: things are not working here. For instance, I can't say

584
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,200
Speaker 1: there's a POE service. Heck, the streets are not named.

585
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:04,360
Speaker 1: When you want to go somewhere by taxi, you say

586
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 1: near X school, behind why Market, by Z monument. So

587
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:10,280
Speaker 1: I can confidently tell you that no one in our

588
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:13,400
Speaker 1: country of origin knew about our address. Yet the unexpected

589
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:16,679
Speaker 1: recently happened. We received a letter hand delivered to husband.

590
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:18,600
Speaker 1: On the envelope like a stab in our hearts, we

591
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 1: instantly recognized mother in law's writing. My question is, how

592
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:23,720
Speaker 1: do you think mother in law pulled this off? Hacking

593
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:26,520
Speaker 1: our emails again? But our address is nowhere to be found? Dude,

594
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:30,080
Speaker 1: your mother in law is like as assets a lot

595
00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:32,280
Speaker 1: of government AGENCYPI on her.

596
00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:34,760
Speaker 3: Man what, I feel like she must have got some

597
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:37,040
Speaker 3: sort of PI because a couple of people are like

598
00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:40,280
Speaker 3: dearg stay Thumb said PI. Sofia Cologne said p I.

599
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:43,320
Speaker 3: I feel like if they don't have an actual address,

600
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,240
Speaker 3: then she must have done.

601
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:45,879
Speaker 1: This is absurd.

602
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:46,919
Speaker 3: She's too good at this.

603
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:48,880
Speaker 1: You need to get the un involved.

604
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:49,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, you need to.

605
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:53,480
Speaker 1: Get the un entire un need to hit the working

606
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:56,840
Speaker 1: on that to prosecute your mother in law and get.

607
00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 4: Her to stop because she's so good at yeah, like

608
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:01,120
Speaker 4: she's a spy. Literally, Yeah, I'm fine.

609
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:02,720
Speaker 1: Mother in law and father in law are more than

610
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:05,960
Speaker 1: seventy years old. For Frick's sake, they cannot pull off

611
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,480
Speaker 1: such a level of hacking, can they. Husband says they

612
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:11,560
Speaker 1: had to hire someone like a PI. I am skeptical.

613
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:14,440
Speaker 1: One thing is for sure, it had to be illegal,

614
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:17,680
Speaker 1: snooping in places I wouldn't even know where to snoop. First,

615
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:19,480
Speaker 1: mother in law sent an email to let us know

616
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:22,000
Speaker 1: she knows where we were. Now she tells us she

617
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:24,520
Speaker 1: knows exactly where we live and can reach us no

618
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 1: matter how many oceans between us, which was the only

619
00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:29,640
Speaker 1: purpose of the letter. I'm afraid of what's next? Am

620
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:32,480
Speaker 1: I being paranoid? What would you do? Honestly, I don't

621
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:33,760
Speaker 1: think you're being paranoid anymore.

622
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:36,120
Speaker 3: No, I mean I didn't really think you were necessarily

623
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:38,240
Speaker 3: being paranoid before, but like now, you're definitely not. This

624
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:41,440
Speaker 3: person is a very high grade stalker.

625
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:44,680
Speaker 1: Move back to your country, Yeah, and fight her.

626
00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:46,440
Speaker 3: You gotta fight her now, Dan.

627
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:48,600
Speaker 1: Move back to your country. No, give her a look.

628
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:50,920
Speaker 3: Can you get some sort of restraining order or anything?

629
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:53,520
Speaker 1: And then you go? Did you have problem finding that?

630
00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:56,680
Speaker 3: It's like, you don't need to come find me, because

631
00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 3: I'm coming to you.

632
00:26:57,480 --> 00:26:59,520
Speaker 1: I'm gonna come find you and give you the old

633
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:03,880
Speaker 1: knuckles sandwich for lunch. Yah comments Okay, wow, wow, I'm

634
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:07,480
Speaker 1: I'm on one today, folks. Comments Comment number one, somebody

635
00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:11,280
Speaker 1: you trusted told her flat out they believe her lies

636
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:14,080
Speaker 1: and gave you guys up to help her fix the

637
00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:17,280
Speaker 1: family disconnect. Nothing you can do but ignore her bs. Now,

638
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:18,960
Speaker 1: do you think she might show up? Or are you

639
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,199
Speaker 1: letting your fear of her ruin your life? You are

640
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:24,000
Speaker 1: one or two countries away from her, right I mean? Well, yeah,

641
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:25,880
Speaker 1: she literally knows exactly where they are, so she could

642
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:27,480
Speaker 1: send like in the mail.

643
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:29,040
Speaker 3: If she went crazy.

644
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:32,720
Speaker 1: It doesn't necessarily mean one of your confidants told her.

645
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:34,520
Speaker 1: She may have a friend who is a friend in

646
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:38,359
Speaker 1: the right place, moving company, previous employer, police, or customs agent.

647
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:40,840
Speaker 1: Even the transfer of medical info can be the lead

648
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,679
Speaker 1: in investigator needs. It is very hard to hide in

649
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:46,400
Speaker 1: the modern world unless you walk away from everything, all

650
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:50,120
Speaker 1: friends and all family, leaving behind even your belongings, bank cards,

651
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:53,280
Speaker 1: and records. Even then, you'd use your passport somewhere to

652
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 1: cross a border, unless you had fake ones made to

653
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:59,520
Speaker 1: escape someone's verifying your credentials for the education or experience

654
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:02,640
Speaker 1: you clan. The world is so interconnected, really, your only

655
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:04,760
Speaker 1: real escape is to get on a boat and sail

656
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:08,640
Speaker 1: to random locations. Just go straight down on the boat

657
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:12,359
Speaker 1: and go. Yeah, and time to go Tintin mode.

658
00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:14,120
Speaker 3: Okay, how has I d stolen though?

659
00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:16,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, But like Tintin, just like flew a plane into

660
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:21,200
Speaker 1: the desert and no one knows where Tintin is. People

661
00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:25,480
Speaker 1: disappear that way all the time, virtually untraceable except where

662
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:27,840
Speaker 1: they land. By the time she gets a line on you,

663
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:29,439
Speaker 1: you'll have to set sail again.

664
00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:32,400
Speaker 3: Oh my god, why are you recommending that? Opie just never.

665
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:35,119
Speaker 1: Stops moving like this is no you go back to this.

666
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:38,959
Speaker 3: She's a seventy year old woman. Obviously it's clear that

667
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:41,840
Speaker 3: this is like, you know, dangerous, and she's you know,

668
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 3: causing a lot of problems. But can we get some

669
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:44,480
Speaker 3: sort of.

670
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:47,239
Speaker 1: Law enforce Dude, I'm going back. I'm not even kidding, Like,

671
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 1: if this is the case, I'm going back there. I'm

672
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:52,320
Speaker 1: showing up at their house and I'm intimidating them. Yeah,

673
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:54,960
Speaker 1: I know that, I'm flipping the UNO reverse card on that.

674
00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:55,520
Speaker 2: Yeah.

675
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:58,400
Speaker 3: And then you send them a letter back, and you're like,

676
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:00,280
Speaker 3: I know where you live and I'm I'm not going

677
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:01,640
Speaker 3: to stop. I could be there any moment.

678
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:03,800
Speaker 1: You just send him a letter right now it says

679
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:06,400
Speaker 1: on my way, yeah, I'm here, and then time it

680
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:08,680
Speaker 1: so that right when they read it. You go knock, knock, knock,

681
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 1: and then you're at the door. Yes, yes, brilliant, And

682
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:13,760
Speaker 1: then you go.

683
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 4: You do the are you doing crazy?

684
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:19,040
Speaker 3: You bite them?

685
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:21,240
Speaker 5: Or you do like the cryptic bal like like the

686
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 5: like the magazine mail, like you like chop up all

687
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:23,720
Speaker 5: the love.

688
00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:26,120
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you're like I know where you live?

689
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:28,280
Speaker 4: Bite bite them?

690
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:31,240
Speaker 1: No update this update number two. We have managed to

691
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:34,360
Speaker 1: remain no contact, despite his parents always trying to reach

692
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:37,640
Speaker 1: out and certainly using questionable means to track us and

693
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:40,080
Speaker 1: let us know that there is no escaping. Then why

694
00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:42,320
Speaker 1: they'd spend energy to keep a toxic hold on their

695
00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:44,880
Speaker 1: son rather than simply respect and love him will always

696
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:47,520
Speaker 1: be beyond me. I used to worry about what they

697
00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:49,960
Speaker 1: do next and how to protect my children, but seeing

698
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,480
Speaker 1: my husband so adamant to keep no contact over the

699
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:55,920
Speaker 1: years has somewhat reassured me. In these years of no contact,

700
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:58,000
Speaker 1: my husband would even say things like I don't even

701
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 1: know if i'd go to their funeral. Yeah, I don't

702
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:02,520
Speaker 1: know either, I'd be the one causing.

703
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:05,920
Speaker 5: Their funeral, Like, well, now, honestly they'll bring the funeral

704
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:06,280
Speaker 5: to year.

705
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:08,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, you found me because you show up to the funeral.

706
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:12,560
Speaker 4: Like a care package mail drop casket right on your house.

707
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:14,920
Speaker 1: Oh too, I can't. I just if someone did this

708
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:17,560
Speaker 1: to me, I would have no tolerance for this. Yeah,

709
00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:19,920
Speaker 1: like finding where I live after I leave, and like

710
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:22,240
Speaker 1: sending a letter to my house, I'm like going back,

711
00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 1: like son, the son of these monsters needs to go

712
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:26,520
Speaker 1: back and handle this.

713
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wonder what I like what I'm kind of

714
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:32,160
Speaker 3: confuse what they're threatening, like just that they know where

715
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:32,640
Speaker 3: they live.

716
00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. It's just like absurd. It's just

717
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 1: I'm gonna show back up and I'm gonna go into

718
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 1: your house. I'm gonna take all your pens and take

719
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:42,240
Speaker 1: all your paper. It's gonna rip the router out of

720
00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:44,840
Speaker 1: your wall. I'm gonna bust all your phones, and then

721
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:46,280
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go back to where I live.

722
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 4: Okay, I'm gonna go. Peace out, Mom and dad, Peace go.

723
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:51,320
Speaker 1: I'm advocating for violence today.

724
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 3: Watch out everyone.

725
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:55,160
Speaker 1: Fast forward to today. His mom wrote to him to

726
00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:58,520
Speaker 1: let him know that his father had prosthetic cancer and

727
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:00,800
Speaker 1: was supposed to go to surgery. That having news from

728
00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:03,120
Speaker 1: his son would boost his morale. I can't imagine his

729
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,360
Speaker 1: mom lying about this. I told him that he is

730
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:07,440
Speaker 1: free to reach out if he feels like it. That

731
00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:10,400
Speaker 1: it's not because I can't ever see them again, that

732
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:12,680
Speaker 1: our children will never see them again. They went way

733
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:15,040
Speaker 1: too far with me that he can't do so, which

734
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:17,080
Speaker 1: I okay, that was a I don't know what that

735
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:19,200
Speaker 1: was supposed to say, but I think that she was saying,

736
00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:21,520
Speaker 1: regardless of how we feel or what has been done

737
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:23,720
Speaker 1: to us, you can reach out to your dad if

738
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:27,200
Speaker 1: you need to. We don't live in the same country anymore,

739
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 1: so maybe it's easy for me to say. But I

740
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:32,120
Speaker 1: told him that whatever his reasons, i'd support him if

741
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:34,360
Speaker 1: he wanted to reply to the email or call them

742
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:36,840
Speaker 1: or anything, even if his reason is simply not having

743
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:39,360
Speaker 1: regrets tormenting him after his father or both of his

744
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:41,840
Speaker 1: parents pass away. He said, no, no, he doesn't want

745
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:43,880
Speaker 1: to reach out, that this ship has sailed, that he

746
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:46,320
Speaker 1: wouldn't even know what to say. No contact is no

747
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:49,000
Speaker 1: contact that as I know very well, his parents stopped

748
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:51,920
Speaker 1: being parents a long time ago. If they ever were, No,

749
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:54,240
Speaker 1: he won't have any regrets that they should be the

750
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:57,360
Speaker 1: ones feeling remorse that they never apologize for anything, So no,

751
00:31:57,680 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 1: they can go ahead and pass away. Of course, it

752
00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:01,800
Speaker 1: would sad, but it would be sad for them, not

753
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:03,840
Speaker 1: for him. He knows that his father must be living

754
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:06,320
Speaker 1: his worst nightmare having his mother be his primary caregiver.

755
00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:08,760
Speaker 1: I don't know. I wonder if being so detached today

756
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 1: will not make him collapse after one of them passes away.

757
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:14,640
Speaker 1: I know it makes perfect sense on paper. No contact

758
00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:16,840
Speaker 1: is no contact, no matter what. He stopped being their

759
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:19,000
Speaker 1: son on the day he decided that enough was enough.

760
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:22,920
Speaker 1: And by the way, if you've had enough, which is unlikely.

761
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:27,520
Speaker 3: And it possible if you just can't get enough, Okay

762
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:28,160
Speaker 3: story Time.

763
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 1: You can listen to full episodes with stories like this

764
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:34,880
Speaker 1: on iHeartRadio or Spotify or Apple Podcast. Just search the

765
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:38,600
Speaker 1: name of this show, Okay story Time and you'll find

766
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:42,320
Speaker 1: twelve hundred plus hours of stories to listen to. And

767
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:45,040
Speaker 1: we do have a little bit left of this story.

768
00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:47,440
Speaker 3: Oh man, So are you reaching out?

769
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:47,800
Speaker 5: No?

770
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:53,600
Speaker 1: Well, you know I'm not today. I'm not today. No, today,

771
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:54,000
Speaker 1: I'm not.

772
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:55,560
Speaker 3: Reading because I'm thinking about Like if I was an

773
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:57,640
Speaker 3: ope situation, of course I wouldn't reach out. But like

774
00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:01,160
Speaker 3: from the situation of Opie's part, I don't know what

775
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:03,440
Speaker 3: I guess. I guess it depends on what he wants

776
00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:06,600
Speaker 3: from this, Like from reaching out, what does he expect

777
00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:08,000
Speaker 3: to get from it?

778
00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:12,640
Speaker 1: He I mean you'd probably get nothing. Yeah, you being

779
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:15,320
Speaker 1: like you're a terrible sign and your father is sick

780
00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:17,400
Speaker 1: and you need to come home, and you're bed and

781
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:18,240
Speaker 1: you're terrible.

782
00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:21,920
Speaker 3: So I feel like sending a letter kind of open.

783
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:24,520
Speaker 3: I mean, obviously they already know where you live, so

784
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:27,440
Speaker 3: it's already opened a certain line of communication. But I

785
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:29,320
Speaker 3: feel like you sending a letter back, or I mean

786
00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:31,640
Speaker 3: your partner sending a letter back kind of opens it

787
00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 3: both ways, which is not necessarily what you want.

788
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:38,760
Speaker 1: So I'm turning to you today. Am I right to worry? Strangely?

789
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:42,280
Speaker 1: I feel very detached to girl? That is not strange.

790
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:45,320
Speaker 1: He's are demons that have been hunting you down. You

791
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:48,240
Speaker 1: live in the most undeveloped country on earth just to

792
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:50,640
Speaker 1: try to get away from them, and even still they

793
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:51,120
Speaker 1: find you.

794
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:52,000
Speaker 3: Offend you anywhere.

795
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:54,680
Speaker 1: Of course, it's you want to be detached from them.

796
00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:57,280
Speaker 1: But they're not my parents. I can't know what my

797
00:33:57,400 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 1: husband is going through or what he's likely to feel

798
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 1: when they pay away. My mother passed away when I

799
00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:04,000
Speaker 1: was young, and it destroyed me. But because she was

800
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:06,480
Speaker 1: a real mother and I loved her with every fiber

801
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:08,480
Speaker 1: of my being. I don't know what is like to

802
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:12,239
Speaker 1: go no contact with dysfunctional parents in life or afterwards.

803
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:14,920
Speaker 1: What would your advice be. Has anyone gone through this?

804
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:18,880
Speaker 1: Please respond comment I was no contact with my father

805
00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:22,080
Speaker 1: for eighteen months before his passing. I didn't regret having

806
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:25,680
Speaker 1: gone no contact after being sick or passing away. Doesn't

807
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:28,360
Speaker 1: change the fact that they are horrible people. Your husband

808
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:30,759
Speaker 1: more than likely did his grieving when he cut them off.

809
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 1: Oh Pie says thank you for sharing your experience, and

810
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:35,640
Speaker 1: I ask if you went to the funeral. I think

811
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:38,160
Speaker 1: I dread the day one of them passes away because

812
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:39,799
Speaker 1: I don't know if my husband will have a change

813
00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:41,600
Speaker 1: of heart then and expect me to go with him

814
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:43,759
Speaker 1: for support as sure as heck won't. It would be

815
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:45,920
Speaker 1: too hypocritical of me, and I won't be able to

816
00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:47,839
Speaker 1: pretend that they were good people to begin with and

817
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:50,319
Speaker 1: that God took them too soon. Why you don't have

818
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:52,560
Speaker 1: to say that they're old. Once you go to over seventy,

819
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:53,880
Speaker 1: it's like God's not taking you too soon.

820
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,080
Speaker 3: Well, but I think it's like this idea that when

821
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:58,200
Speaker 3: you go to the funeral, you have to be sad

822
00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:00,480
Speaker 3: and show deference and stuff to the p people that

823
00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 3: are being honored that day, and so just that confusing

824
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:06,920
Speaker 3: feeling of not having those emotions.

825
00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 1: I would go to his funeral and I would set

826
00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:12,640
Speaker 1: up like projectedtle basketball hoop over his casket and I

827
00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:15,080
Speaker 1: would dunk. I would I would move through the line

828
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:17,960
Speaker 1: of people going up to the wake, and I would like,

829
00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:20,240
Speaker 1: I would like dribble like spin, and then I would

830
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 1: slam dunk.

831
00:35:21,239 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 3: You really are I think you just tell them, You

832
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:25,920
Speaker 3: tell everyone what happened with these parents. But like in

833
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:29,040
Speaker 3: your kind of framement from where you're like, well, I

834
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:32,680
Speaker 3: was always so impressed that they had such good hacking

835
00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 3: skills that they could find.

836
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:38,080
Speaker 5: Us listen two countries away for me, if it's a stalker, nonetheless,

837
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:41,680
Speaker 5: if it's a friend, you know, family member, stranger, you

838
00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:43,719
Speaker 5: were a stalker and you didn't respect my boundaries, I

839
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:46,719
Speaker 5: feel like, you know, you already had that mindset of

840
00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:48,640
Speaker 5: like I'm done with this person, and then you're.

841
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:50,680
Speaker 4: Like, oh they passed away. Oh I regret that.

842
00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:53,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, if they really pushed my buttons to that extent

843
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:55,920
Speaker 5: of like I gave you pretty much three strikes and

844
00:35:55,960 --> 00:35:56,960
Speaker 5: you just didn't listen.

845
00:35:57,080 --> 00:35:58,600
Speaker 4: You're out of here, dude.

846
00:35:58,600 --> 00:35:59,759
Speaker 1: They made you fear for your.

847
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:02,200
Speaker 3: Country?

848
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 1: Is I'm fully Yeah, never talk to five fuirl, says

849
00:36:06,239 --> 00:36:09,360
Speaker 1: Dan Dicota. That went dark. No, it didn't. Slam dunk

850
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:13,880
Speaker 1: if anything, that's absurdist, lighthearted humor, a slam dunk on

851
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:19,160
Speaker 1: a little tike basketball hoop at the funeral, worst stalker nemesis.

852
00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:22,200
Speaker 1: I could get a lot darker than that. Uh anyway,

853
00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:25,920
Speaker 1: replies as funerals aren't for the past, away there for

854
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:28,160
Speaker 1: the living. If there are people that want to support

855
00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:30,520
Speaker 1: after one of his parents passes away, he could always

856
00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:33,439
Speaker 1: schedule something himself to ensure his mother or other parent

857
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:35,719
Speaker 1: won't be there. I believe his mother would use the

858
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:38,680
Speaker 1: opportunity to berate your husband from abandoning his father and

859
00:36:38,719 --> 00:36:41,720
Speaker 1: causing his passing. It's happened many times before. Just support

860
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:43,480
Speaker 1: him as best you can and try to offer him

861
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:46,759
Speaker 1: other solutions that will protect his and your peace. And

862
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:48,440
Speaker 1: that is the end of that.

863
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:51,239
Speaker 3: Dang man, A lot happened there. Yeah, to stay away

864
00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:51,880
Speaker 3: from these people.

865
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:55,000
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam your og host here. We're gonna get

866
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:56,680
Speaker 1: back to the stories. But here's three minutes of ads

867
00:36:56,680 --> 00:37:01,960
Speaker 1: from our sponsors. My financially irrespons husband refuses to get

868
00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:04,920
Speaker 1: the help he needs and I want to leave.

869
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:07,440
Speaker 3: Leave easy Solved.

870
00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:12,000
Speaker 1: Trigger warning, financial hell story Time. I love watching you all.

871
00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:14,600
Speaker 1: I have never posted before and I don't know where

872
00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:18,120
Speaker 1: to start. I female forty and my husband male forty

873
00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:20,600
Speaker 1: two have been married for four and a half years,

874
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,480
Speaker 1: together for five. I know it wasn't long before we

875
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:26,160
Speaker 1: got married. I would say that most of our relationship

876
00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 1: has been great until two years ago. I don't know

877
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,319
Speaker 1: where the change happened, but it's been getting worse and

878
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:33,880
Speaker 1: worse over the last two years. By the way, this

879
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:37,080
Speaker 1: comes from user unsure what to do from the r

880
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:39,400
Speaker 1: slash Okay, Storytime suffered it and if you want to

881
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:42,480
Speaker 1: submit your own stories, go submit them there. So my

882
00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:46,360
Speaker 1: husband had a bad upbringing with a lot of physical

883
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:50,560
Speaker 1: mixed with both parents being in the military. He's constantly

884
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:53,520
Speaker 1: searching for his mom's approval of the man he has become,

885
00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:56,480
Speaker 1: which is a great man and father, but she will

886
00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:59,040
Speaker 1: never give him that approval. He has also tried to

887
00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:01,840
Speaker 1: talk to her about the past to get an apology

888
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:05,040
Speaker 1: or some validation, but she would rather unlive than give

889
00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:08,520
Speaker 1: him anything. They talk every day and she loves him

890
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:12,400
Speaker 1: quote unquote, but he needs more. His childhood, along with

891
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:17,280
Speaker 1: other past relationships, has created an adult with severe anxiety, abandonment, fears,

892
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:21,000
Speaker 1: and what I'm pretty sure is functional depression. Now onto

893
00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:23,880
Speaker 1: the story. When we got together, everything was great. We

894
00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:27,359
Speaker 1: had many arguments over blending our families. We each had

895
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:30,320
Speaker 1: two children, and then we had one of our own.

896
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:34,600
Speaker 1: Two years into our relationship. Besides basic arguments about parenting

897
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:38,200
Speaker 1: styles and money, we were happy. Three years ago we

898
00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:40,600
Speaker 1: decided to move out of state. It was a great

899
00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:43,600
Speaker 1: decision and we love it here. He has a great job.

900
00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:46,240
Speaker 1: I must stay at home mom, though I do little

901
00:38:46,239 --> 00:38:49,279
Speaker 1: things to bring in extra quote unquote fun money. Two

902
00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:52,440
Speaker 1: years ago we started arguing a lot all of the

903
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:56,040
Speaker 1: time over things that we never used to argue about before.

904
00:38:56,520 --> 00:38:59,480
Speaker 1: We had a joint bank account, but suddenly he decided

905
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:01,920
Speaker 1: to have his direct deposit go into his cash app

906
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 1: instead of our joint account. This has caused endless problems

907
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:09,000
Speaker 1: the situation. Now, I see you though gambling.

908
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:11,120
Speaker 3: I feel like maybe he's using some of that money

909
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:12,040
Speaker 3: for some side thing.

910
00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:13,840
Speaker 4: Maybe on all it's a side hustle.

911
00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:17,600
Speaker 1: Something's going on the current situation. My husband is supposed

912
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:20,040
Speaker 1: to give me enough money to cover the bills, but

913
00:39:20,239 --> 00:39:23,240
Speaker 1: he always shorts me then gets mad when bills don't

914
00:39:23,239 --> 00:39:26,160
Speaker 1: get paid. He had me break down everything I've used

915
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:29,000
Speaker 1: his money on, and it is never on anything for me,

916
00:39:29,120 --> 00:39:32,399
Speaker 1: although sometimes it is used on things the kids need.

917
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:35,600
Speaker 1: He has been talking to me like I am garbage

918
00:39:35,719 --> 00:39:38,000
Speaker 1: and has shown zero respect for me.

919
00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:39,160
Speaker 3: Immediately not okay.

920
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,920
Speaker 1: He has a very low self esteem and he projects

921
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:45,120
Speaker 1: his feelings about himself onto me. But here's the breaking

922
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:48,319
Speaker 1: point for me. My husband won a work trip to

923
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:52,200
Speaker 1: Las Vegas last week. He was one of the top producers,

924
00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:54,960
Speaker 1: so he was given a trip to the awards ceremony

925
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:58,760
Speaker 1: for himself and for me. I was truly so proud

926
00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:01,399
Speaker 1: of his hard work. He told me he was going

927
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:03,800
Speaker 1: to hold his paycheck before we left so that we'd

928
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:06,560
Speaker 1: have the full amount available for the trip. I asked

929
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:08,880
Speaker 1: him how we were going to pay the bills. He

930
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:11,919
Speaker 1: collects football helmets and said that he would sell some

931
00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:14,640
Speaker 1: if needed to make up the extra money. Now, my

932
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:18,120
Speaker 1: husband is horrible with money, so I told him to

933
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:19,840
Speaker 1: give me the money so that I could put it

934
00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:22,680
Speaker 1: into an untouchable account to ensure that we had all

935
00:40:22,719 --> 00:40:25,280
Speaker 1: of it. He accused me of being a gold digger,

936
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:28,279
Speaker 1: wanting him to go to Vegas broke, and trying to

937
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:30,560
Speaker 1: embarrass him in front of his coworkers by making him

938
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:32,279
Speaker 1: ask me for money while we were there.

939
00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:34,840
Speaker 3: You gotta be a lot richer to be a gold digger, buddy.

940
00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:38,480
Speaker 1: He's treating you like you're his mom and like literally

941
00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:40,799
Speaker 1: being like, Oh god, mom, you're just gonna embarrass me.

942
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:43,520
Speaker 3: You're not letting me buy whatever he want in Las Vegas.

943
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:44,680
Speaker 3: It's not fair.

944
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:47,200
Speaker 1: Oh, we have children to take care of him.

945
00:40:47,200 --> 00:40:49,360
Speaker 4: You don't need to gamble my entire paycheck in Vegas.

946
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:51,680
Speaker 3: You're a gold digger because you're trying to pay bills

947
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:54,600
Speaker 3: and help your kids. Think he's gotta be a little

948
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:56,319
Speaker 3: wealthier than that for.

949
00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:59,279
Speaker 1: You to be a gold digger, oh, P explains. I

950
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:02,840
Speaker 1: explained that I never use his money for myself and

951
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:04,360
Speaker 1: that I would give it back to him when we

952
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:07,160
Speaker 1: left so he wouldn't feel embarrassed. I also told him

953
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:09,959
Speaker 1: how hurt I was that after five years, he still

954
00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:12,719
Speaker 1: had no trust in me, even though he knows I

955
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:16,319
Speaker 1: don't spend money. I explained that just like he needs

956
00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:19,000
Speaker 1: money for gas and expenses. I need it for the

957
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:22,719
Speaker 1: same reasons. He refused to send me anything and told me,

958
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:25,960
Speaker 1: if you need some, just ask, to which I replied,

959
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:29,120
Speaker 1: I will never ever ask you for money. So I

960
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:31,640
Speaker 1: was left figuring out how to get my own money

961
00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:35,080
Speaker 1: for gas, food, and whatever else the kids needed for school.

962
00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:39,800
Speaker 1: Three days later, he blew half the money on football helmets.

963
00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:43,000
Speaker 3: Dude, how many football helmets is this man buying?

964
00:41:43,239 --> 00:41:46,920
Speaker 1: I will say in certain if you're an expert, you

965
00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:50,560
Speaker 1: can flip sports memorabilia and make a good chunk of change,

966
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:53,600
Speaker 1: but you have to be so on top of it.

967
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:56,239
Speaker 1: It is all consuming, it is. It becomes a full

968
00:41:56,239 --> 00:41:58,480
Speaker 1: time job if you're actually trying to make a viable

969
00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:02,920
Speaker 1: living out of sports memory. It's insanely demanding. Anyway, So

970
00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:06,400
Speaker 1: now we only had half left for the trip. Before

971
00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:09,600
Speaker 1: we left, he sold some helmets two thousand dollars worth,

972
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 1: and then he blew that too. Where is this money

973
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:13,680
Speaker 1: going more football helmets?

974
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:16,960
Speaker 3: Like selling helmets to buy more helmets. He hasn't even

975
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:17,239
Speaker 3: gone to.

976
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:21,719
Speaker 1: Vegas yet, So here is the Vegas trip. When we arrived,

977
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:24,239
Speaker 1: the company gave him a five hundred dollars gift card

978
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:27,680
Speaker 1: and some other door prizes at checkin. I told him

979
00:42:27,680 --> 00:42:29,560
Speaker 1: to put it away in the safe with half of

980
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:31,960
Speaker 1: the cash that he had withdrawn, which he did. The

981
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:34,600
Speaker 1: whole time in Vegas, he walked in front of me.

982
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:36,880
Speaker 1: I know it's a minor complaint, but it felt like

983
00:42:36,920 --> 00:42:39,799
Speaker 1: we weren't even together. We went to a restaurant and

984
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:42,360
Speaker 1: he picked the ugliest girl there and insisted that she

985
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:44,760
Speaker 1: could be my sister. When I told him how rude

986
00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:47,160
Speaker 1: and hurtful he was being, he said, I bet you

987
00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:49,759
Speaker 1: fifty bucks that everyone here will say she could be

988
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:52,440
Speaker 1: your sister. He's flip flopping back and forth between treating

989
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:55,480
Speaker 1: you like you're his mom that he wants to ignore

990
00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:58,760
Speaker 1: that in you're chaperoning him on like a school field trip,

991
00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:01,160
Speaker 1: and then like treating you like you're his sister.

992
00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:03,560
Speaker 3: Very weird, dynamic.

993
00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:06,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, strange. He's clearly wrapped up in his childhood trauma.

994
00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:09,000
Speaker 1: From the sound of what you described. I was so

995
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:12,120
Speaker 1: upset that I just wanted to leave. We didn't blow

996
00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:14,759
Speaker 1: much money in Vegas, which was good because I was

997
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:16,560
Speaker 1: thinking about the bills we still had to pay when

998
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:18,840
Speaker 1: we got back. On the last night, he hit a

999
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:21,560
Speaker 1: seven hundred dollars win at a casino, so I thought, great,

1000
00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:23,880
Speaker 1: we made most of our money back, plus the five

1001
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:26,400
Speaker 1: hundred dollars gift card. He gave me one hundred and

1002
00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:29,000
Speaker 1: eighty from the seven hundred and kept pushing me to

1003
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:31,640
Speaker 1: gam with all, saying I should let my hair down

1004
00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:34,359
Speaker 1: and have fun. I finally did, and I lost it all.

1005
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:36,880
Speaker 1: It made no sense to me why we had to

1006
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:39,200
Speaker 1: do that, but I thought it would be fine since

1007
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:41,640
Speaker 1: we still had the other money. Well, it turns out

1008
00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:43,719
Speaker 1: he blew the rest of what he had taken out,

1009
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:46,640
Speaker 1: plus the six hundred he had left. I only found

1010
00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:48,640
Speaker 1: out when he started paying with the gift card at

1011
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:52,120
Speaker 1: the airport and now back home. This is like marriage

1012
00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:55,160
Speaker 1: ending at the very least, like some like actual couples

1013
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:56,960
Speaker 1: counseling and therapy situation.

1014
00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:59,719
Speaker 3: I mean, like could not even help. I think he's

1015
00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:02,720
Speaker 3: on to the point where he's bullying her. But I think, honestly,

1016
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:05,200
Speaker 3: for the kid's sake, it might be better if she,

1017
00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:08,799
Speaker 3: you know, financially separated herself from because he's spending all

1018
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:10,720
Speaker 3: of their money. It's tough, it's super soft.

1019
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:13,799
Speaker 1: Once we got home, I wrote out the bills. I

1020
00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:16,400
Speaker 1: included the money I had saved from little jobs. In

1021
00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:18,759
Speaker 1: the five hundred dollars gift card so he would see

1022
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:21,719
Speaker 1: what we still needed to cover. Again, it turned into

1023
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:23,960
Speaker 1: a fight. He sat me down and told me how

1024
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:26,799
Speaker 1: we were going to break down the bills using this

1025
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:30,360
Speaker 1: check which was for rent, not bills, and then paying

1026
00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:33,560
Speaker 1: the rest with the next check. Is math, never maths,

1027
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:36,680
Speaker 1: which is why I do the bills. But he kept

1028
00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:38,360
Speaker 1: talking to me like I was a child, to the

1029
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:39,960
Speaker 1: point that I had to get up and walk away,

1030
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 1: trying not to cry. Again, this is all just like

1031
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:45,520
Speaker 1: mommy issues being misplaced on you.

1032
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:47,520
Speaker 3: It sounds like you already know that, yeah, because he's

1033
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:51,080
Speaker 3: got this thing of like this weird paradoxical thing where

1034
00:44:51,239 --> 00:44:53,200
Speaker 3: you have to be in charge of all the bills

1035
00:44:53,280 --> 00:44:56,680
Speaker 3: because he's dumb and like doesn't want to figure out

1036
00:44:56,680 --> 00:44:59,279
Speaker 3: how to actually take care of money. But also he's like, well,

1037
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:01,440
Speaker 3: I'm the man of the house, but he doesn't know

1038
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:01,960
Speaker 3: how to be that.

1039
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:05,400
Speaker 4: Y'ah are just not on the same page of reality

1040
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:05,839
Speaker 4: right now.

1041
00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:09,040
Speaker 1: He is in vary dust. I explained that his method

1042
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:12,320
Speaker 1: would throw off all the bills and we'd constantly be laid.

1043
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:14,480
Speaker 1: He insisted we would be caught up by the end

1044
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:17,360
Speaker 1: of the month, then he followed me outside and continued

1045
00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:20,120
Speaker 1: telling me I was stupid because I can't handle simple

1046
00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:22,360
Speaker 1: things and that I just wanted all of his money

1047
00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:24,680
Speaker 1: to leave him broke. Bro you just gambled all of

1048
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:25,360
Speaker 1: your money away.

1049
00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:27,520
Speaker 3: You left yourself broke, he says.

1050
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:30,200
Speaker 1: I think I'm entitled to the five hundred dollars gift

1051
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:32,799
Speaker 1: card so I can go spend it again. I never

1052
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:35,759
Speaker 1: use his money for anything besides bills. I told him

1053
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:38,359
Speaker 1: I am done being treated this way. I reminded him

1054
00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:40,479
Speaker 1: of all the hurtful things he has done and said

1055
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:43,160
Speaker 1: how he has been acting, and that I don't want

1056
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:45,640
Speaker 1: this anymore. Now why I think I might be the

1057
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:48,279
Speaker 1: a hole. I know that he needs counseling, which he

1058
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:51,359
Speaker 1: said he would go to but hasn't. That's very bad.

1059
00:45:51,480 --> 00:45:53,279
Speaker 1: I know that a lot of this comes from his

1060
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:55,880
Speaker 1: past and his deep rooted trauma. I even think he

1061
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:58,600
Speaker 1: might be bipolar. I love him and don't think you

1062
00:45:58,640 --> 00:46:01,479
Speaker 1: should just give up on people, especially when they are sick.

1063
00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:05,680
Speaker 1: We also have three kids. My ten year old boy

1064
00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:08,399
Speaker 1: doesn't want to lose another father. He and my six

1065
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:11,040
Speaker 1: year old girl are from a past relationship. Their father

1066
00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:12,719
Speaker 1: and I are good friends, but he wasn't a good

1067
00:46:12,760 --> 00:46:15,440
Speaker 1: partner or dad, and we are much better as friends

1068
00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:18,359
Speaker 1: and co parents. My six year old girl only knows

1069
00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:21,080
Speaker 1: my husband as her dad because my ex wanted nothing

1070
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:23,359
Speaker 1: to do with her until she was four. She knows

1071
00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:26,000
Speaker 1: the truth, but I didn't want to force a relationship

1072
00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:29,000
Speaker 1: on her that wasn't her world. Then, we have a

1073
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:31,760
Speaker 1: three year old boy together, and the thought of splitting

1074
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:34,720
Speaker 1: custody while he is so little spikes my anxiety because

1075
00:46:34,719 --> 00:46:37,359
Speaker 1: what if my husband starts treating him like this when

1076
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:39,600
Speaker 1: he has him? So am I the a hole? If

1077
00:46:39,640 --> 00:46:42,200
Speaker 1: I leave him when he needs professional help and we

1078
00:46:42,239 --> 00:46:45,120
Speaker 1: have some comments before we get into that, I would

1079
00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:48,080
Speaker 1: say maybe show him this or like sit down and

1080
00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:51,960
Speaker 1: like say like exactly this, like that you've explained where

1081
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:54,560
Speaker 1: it's like, this is what I'm looking for. I refuse

1082
00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:56,640
Speaker 1: to remain in this relationship with you if you're going

1083
00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:58,680
Speaker 1: to continue to treat me like this, and I mean it,

1084
00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:00,719
Speaker 1: I don't want your money, I don't care.

1085
00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:02,719
Speaker 3: I mean you have to have a conversation with him,

1086
00:47:02,760 --> 00:47:05,680
Speaker 3: regardless of what your decision is. At the end of

1087
00:47:05,719 --> 00:47:08,919
Speaker 3: the day, you aren't professional help. You know you can

1088
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:10,960
Speaker 3: guide him, you can give him all the resources, but

1089
00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:15,200
Speaker 3: you can't be that professional help. He has to choose

1090
00:47:15,239 --> 00:47:17,960
Speaker 3: to go find it and you know, actually go to

1091
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:20,720
Speaker 3: it to get better. And even just in the sentence

1092
00:47:20,719 --> 00:47:22,520
Speaker 3: of you saying like, oh, I'm worried that he'll treat

1093
00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:25,120
Speaker 3: our son like this, it's like, if you're worried about that,

1094
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:28,200
Speaker 3: he's already doing that in this relationship while you guys

1095
00:47:28,239 --> 00:47:30,080
Speaker 3: are together, so at least you can take back some

1096
00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:31,960
Speaker 3: control if you were to separate.

1097
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:34,840
Speaker 4: Well, he's been doing from what I've been hearing in

1098
00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:37,840
Speaker 4: the story is he's just deflecting. He hasn't taken a

1099
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:39,760
Speaker 4: single bit of accountability.

1100
00:47:39,840 --> 00:47:42,239
Speaker 1: You can't be like, oh, my trauma. Everybody has it

1101
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:45,560
Speaker 1: and it's not an excuse for having dog ass behavior.

1102
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:47,960
Speaker 1: Comment number one. Have you ever wondered what a toxic

1103
00:47:48,239 --> 00:47:52,120
Speaker 1: narcissist relationship looks like? Because you are in one between

1104
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:55,560
Speaker 1: him pulling out the money and constantly being grossly incompetent, irresponsible,

1105
00:47:55,560 --> 00:47:58,719
Speaker 1: and irrational with spending money. Then distracts you with an

1106
00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:01,239
Speaker 1: argument that you are the money hungry won then to

1107
00:48:01,280 --> 00:48:03,360
Speaker 1: force you to spend one hundred and eighty dollars for

1108
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:05,480
Speaker 1: the gambling. And let me just add here that he

1109
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:07,480
Speaker 1: made you do that, so that in the future arguments

1110
00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:09,440
Speaker 1: he'll be able to say, you had fun in Vegas,

1111
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:12,239
Speaker 1: you gambled one hundred and eighty dollars. So now he's

1112
00:48:12,239 --> 00:48:15,239
Speaker 1: built his solid argument. When you come back home, he's

1113
00:48:15,280 --> 00:48:17,560
Speaker 1: trying to negotiate how to pay the bills. He won't

1114
00:48:17,560 --> 00:48:20,200
Speaker 1: get better. Your love and loyalty will not change him.

1115
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:23,279
Speaker 1: His issues with his mom are another story that he

1116
00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:26,319
Speaker 1: needs to deal with. Op So you think that his

1117
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:29,080
Speaker 1: past issues don't have anything to do with how he's acting.

1118
00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:31,080
Speaker 1: You think that this is how he is, and if

1119
00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:32,799
Speaker 1: he gets help for those other issues, he will still

1120
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:33,680
Speaker 1: be the same towards me.

1121
00:48:33,960 --> 00:48:36,719
Speaker 3: I think his past his shoes are absolutely like part

1122
00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:38,439
Speaker 3: of why he's been acting that way, But that doesn't

1123
00:48:38,480 --> 00:48:40,000
Speaker 3: mean that he's gonna change.

1124
00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:42,400
Speaker 1: It's like if the relationship was good and in the

1125
00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:45,200
Speaker 1: last two and a half years has been going downhill.

1126
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:47,400
Speaker 1: So I don't know. I feel like he would have

1127
00:48:47,400 --> 00:48:50,960
Speaker 1: been bad before, Like if he's just like a rotten person,

1128
00:48:51,440 --> 00:48:53,280
Speaker 1: I feel like he had been rotten way faster.

1129
00:48:53,440 --> 00:48:56,360
Speaker 3: I don't think anyone's rotten. I think people are product

1130
00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:57,520
Speaker 3: up their experiences.

1131
00:48:57,719 --> 00:49:00,160
Speaker 1: He's just up to no good. If your husband is

1132
00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:03,600
Speaker 1: not willing to resolve these issues that are clearly impacting

1133
00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:06,839
Speaker 1: his ability to be a kind, empathetic partner, then yeah,

1134
00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:10,520
Speaker 1: that's why I can't be with someone who won't treat

1135
00:49:10,600 --> 00:49:13,160
Speaker 1: me better. His past issues with his mom may have

1136
00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:16,120
Speaker 1: an influence, but it's not an excuse for bad behavior.

1137
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:19,400
Speaker 1: He's forty two, not twenty two, so this excuse is old.

1138
00:49:19,760 --> 00:49:21,960
Speaker 1: Please see a therapist to help you navigate through this

1139
00:49:22,280 --> 00:49:24,440
Speaker 1: with the right tools and to find out why you

1140
00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:27,600
Speaker 1: are turning his red flags green. And we do have

1141
00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:31,359
Speaker 1: an update. I think like you can only really be like, look,

1142
00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:33,279
Speaker 1: cause I get it. It's like you want to keep

1143
00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:36,560
Speaker 1: the marriage together, saying the kids as well, And it's

1144
00:49:36,600 --> 00:49:38,799
Speaker 1: like all you can do is tell him exactly how

1145
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:40,560
Speaker 1: you're feeling. It's like, I don't want to be in

1146
00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:43,040
Speaker 1: a relationship with a partner who makes me feel this

1147
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:45,360
Speaker 1: way and treats me this way. And I see that

1148
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:47,480
Speaker 1: it's gotten worse and worse for the last two years.

1149
00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:51,320
Speaker 1: If you refuse to go get help for your issues,

1150
00:49:51,440 --> 00:49:54,640
Speaker 1: then I don't know where we can go. You know what,

1151
00:49:54,880 --> 00:49:56,600
Speaker 1: tell me, I just want to leave you for your money.

1152
00:49:56,640 --> 00:49:58,640
Speaker 1: You can keep all the money. Clearly you're not there

1153
00:49:58,640 --> 00:49:59,200
Speaker 1: for the money.

1154
00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:01,480
Speaker 4: Thank you everybody who responded.

1155
00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:04,680
Speaker 1: I really appreciate it. So I went and got divorce papers.

1156
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:08,120
Speaker 1: When I did this, my husband completely shut down and

1157
00:50:08,200 --> 00:50:11,360
Speaker 1: went basically no contact. I would ask him things like

1158
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:13,880
Speaker 1: will you be here for dinner since I make dinner

1159
00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:16,680
Speaker 1: every night, and he would respond with we aren't together anymore,

1160
00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:17,920
Speaker 1: so it's none of your business.

1161
00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:21,440
Speaker 3: You are together, still in the process of getting a divorce,

1162
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:22,880
Speaker 3: you're still parenting together.

1163
00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:24,960
Speaker 1: I'm sorry that you were married to a little baby boy.

1164
00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:27,839
Speaker 1: He would come home every day right after work. During

1165
00:50:27,880 --> 00:50:30,160
Speaker 1: the times he would say anything to me, he would

1166
00:50:30,200 --> 00:50:32,319
Speaker 1: bring up that. The other night, while we were sitting

1167
00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:36,000
Speaker 1: outside with our neighbors. We live in a development, everyone

1168
00:50:36,080 --> 00:50:38,759
Speaker 1: but me was drinking. The girls, all married with their

1169
00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:41,600
Speaker 1: husband's present, asked to go down the road to waffle House.

1170
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:43,960
Speaker 1: It's a three minute drive from my house. None of

1171
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:46,000
Speaker 1: the husband's cared, But because I was pissed at my

1172
00:50:46,080 --> 00:50:48,239
Speaker 1: husband and he was there and fully aware of what

1173
00:50:48,280 --> 00:50:50,319
Speaker 1: was going on, I didn't say anything to him and

1174
00:50:50,360 --> 00:50:52,759
Speaker 1: told the girls I would drive them. This is what

1175
00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:55,880
Speaker 1: he has gone no contact over. He was hurt that

1176
00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:58,160
Speaker 1: I didn't say a word to him because normally we

1177
00:50:58,280 --> 00:51:00,480
Speaker 1: discuss everything, and I just left.

1178
00:51:00,520 --> 00:51:02,760
Speaker 3: You're getting divorce. Things are changing.

1179
00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:05,760
Speaker 1: Now he's throwing his own point back at your face.

1180
00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:08,960
Speaker 1: After explaining how ridiculous he was being because I didn't

1181
00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:11,200
Speaker 1: just disappear. He was present and knew what was going on,

1182
00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:14,440
Speaker 1: he pretended not to understand, so I just stopped explaining.

1183
00:51:14,840 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 1: After three days of this, I told him that I

1184
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:19,959
Speaker 1: don't understand how he can just not care about what's

1185
00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:22,600
Speaker 1: going on and be fine with leaving. But then again,

1186
00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:25,319
Speaker 1: I let it go. It's his choice. I can't force

1187
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:28,080
Speaker 1: him to want to help or to fix himself. And

1188
00:51:28,120 --> 00:51:30,279
Speaker 1: that is true. And something else that's true is that

1189
00:51:30,280 --> 00:51:32,040
Speaker 1: you can listen to full episodes with stories like this.

1190
00:51:32,520 --> 00:51:34,160
Speaker 1: All you need to do is go to iHeartRadio or

1191
00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:36,600
Speaker 1: Apple podcasts or Spotify wherever you list a podcasts and

1192
00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:39,040
Speaker 1: search Okay story time. And it's as simple as that.

1193
00:51:39,120 --> 00:51:41,120
Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, we have a little bit left. Honestly,

1194
00:51:41,120 --> 00:51:43,239
Speaker 1: after seeing how he reactor to the divorce, I'm like,

1195
00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:46,839
Speaker 1: way more pro divorce now he's being so childish. Let's

1196
00:51:46,840 --> 00:51:49,719
Speaker 1: finish this story off. The following night, he asked if

1197
00:51:49,760 --> 00:51:52,000
Speaker 1: we could go to counseling and see if a therapist

1198
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:54,279
Speaker 1: could help. So I said, okay, I know the way

1199
00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:56,200
Speaker 1: Reddick goes. That was dumb on my part, but I

1200
00:51:56,239 --> 00:51:58,759
Speaker 1: do feel like I owe it to me and to

1201
00:51:58,840 --> 00:52:02,040
Speaker 1: the kids to allow him to try. We have our

1202
00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:04,479
Speaker 1: first appointment on the twentieth, and it won't take long

1203
00:52:04,560 --> 00:52:06,640
Speaker 1: to see if he is really willing to work on

1204
00:52:06,680 --> 00:52:09,560
Speaker 1: it or if this is just his attempt at pretending

1205
00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:12,080
Speaker 1: that's totally solid. I agree with that, but I can

1206
00:52:12,120 --> 00:52:13,759
Speaker 1: hang in there for just a little longer and give

1207
00:52:13,840 --> 00:52:16,560
Speaker 1: him the chance to better himself. So for now, I

1208
00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:19,040
Speaker 1: am not going to file, and I will just wait

1209
00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:21,360
Speaker 1: and hope that what he says is true and that

1210
00:52:21,440 --> 00:52:24,919
Speaker 1: he actually will pour his energy into getting better, which

1211
00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:27,680
Speaker 1: is something you'll be able to tell very quickly.

1212
00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:29,760
Speaker 3: Really quickly. But you have to just stick to your

1213
00:52:29,920 --> 00:52:33,320
Speaker 3: pupews because if you notice that he's not getting better,

1214
00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:35,040
Speaker 3: then you have to leave. You have to make that

1215
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:37,600
Speaker 3: resolution to you know, be like, if you're not going

1216
00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:39,520
Speaker 3: to get better, then this is what's going to happen.

1217
00:52:39,640 --> 00:52:41,160
Speaker 3: I mean, like, while I do think the divorce is

1218
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:43,880
Speaker 3: going to be maybe inevitable, I do think it is

1219
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:45,799
Speaker 3: good in general to go to therapy because you guys

1220
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:46,440
Speaker 3: have a kid together.

1221
00:52:46,560 --> 00:52:48,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's not just going to fall off the face

1222
00:52:48,440 --> 00:52:51,160
Speaker 1: of the earth. I mean hopefully theoretically, he's.

1223
00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:52,440
Speaker 3: Going to be a part of your life whether or

1224
00:52:52,480 --> 00:52:54,280
Speaker 3: not you guys are divorced.

1225
00:52:54,719 --> 00:52:58,279
Speaker 1: You do have some comments here. Comment Please do not

1226
00:52:58,440 --> 00:53:01,040
Speaker 1: use the kids as an excuse to see and try

1227
00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:03,200
Speaker 1: to leave as soon as possible. It's what's best for

1228
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:06,279
Speaker 1: you and your children. What lessons and behaviors do you

1229
00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:08,440
Speaker 1: think they'll learn from watching how you two interact with

1230
00:53:08,480 --> 00:53:10,680
Speaker 1: each other. It's only causing more damage to them and

1231
00:53:10,800 --> 00:53:13,080
Speaker 1: to your mental and physical health, while that stress can

1232
00:53:13,080 --> 00:53:15,200
Speaker 1: wreak havoc on your body. Oh, he says, I'm not

1233
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:17,200
Speaker 1: trying to use them as an excuse. I just don't

1234
00:53:17,239 --> 00:53:19,480
Speaker 1: know if leaving would cause more trauma to them. I

1235
00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:21,799
Speaker 1: honestly am just trying to navigate what's best here, which

1236
00:53:21,800 --> 00:53:24,160
Speaker 1: is why I added that, because it is a concern

1237
00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:26,319
Speaker 1: I have and I love your honest input. Thank you.

1238
00:53:26,560 --> 00:53:29,399
Speaker 1: That is the end of that story.

1239
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:33,680
Speaker 3: My husband rushed to comfort his ex even after I

1240
00:53:33,920 --> 00:53:39,360
Speaker 3: forbid him to X excuse me trigger warning for mentions

1241
00:53:39,360 --> 00:53:42,400
Speaker 3: of self harm. I thirty two female, and my husband,

1242
00:53:42,440 --> 00:53:45,520
Speaker 3: thirty eight male, have been married for three years. Our

1243
00:53:45,560 --> 00:53:48,480
Speaker 3: relationship has had its ups and downs, but we're a

1244
00:53:48,520 --> 00:53:51,839
Speaker 3: relatively happy couple. Though in the beginning of our relationship

1245
00:53:51,920 --> 00:53:56,120
Speaker 3: he was also dating Ajada twenty four female. Five years ago,

1246
00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:58,480
Speaker 3: he was dating two people. I was unaware of this

1247
00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:01,239
Speaker 3: other relationship. With what I found out, I confronted him

1248
00:54:01,680 --> 00:54:03,960
Speaker 3: and he told me that since we weren't officially dating,

1249
00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:05,920
Speaker 3: that he didn't know we were exclusive. Did you have

1250
00:54:05,960 --> 00:54:09,000
Speaker 3: that conversation, Because if you have that conversation and he's like,

1251
00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:10,480
Speaker 3: I ton't know, then.

1252
00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:12,760
Speaker 1: I feel like you can pick up the vibe pretty clearly.

1253
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:14,680
Speaker 3: I told him that if he didn't cut off this

1254
00:54:14,719 --> 00:54:17,239
Speaker 3: relationship with Angela, that I was going to break it off.

1255
00:54:17,440 --> 00:54:19,640
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from anonymously ten to five

1256
00:54:19,719 --> 00:54:21,440
Speaker 3: hundred and if you want to submit your own stories,

1257
00:54:21,440 --> 00:54:23,920
Speaker 3: go to our slash Shokay storytime separate it. So we

1258
00:54:24,040 --> 00:54:26,320
Speaker 3: left it at that and we didn't talk for a while.

1259
00:54:26,400 --> 00:54:30,240
Speaker 3: When he came to my apartment unexpectedly weeks later saying

1260
00:54:30,280 --> 00:54:32,400
Speaker 3: it was over with Angela and that he wanted to

1261
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:35,360
Speaker 3: try again and asked me to be his girlfriend. Ever

1262
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:37,960
Speaker 3: since then, we had been a pretty normal couple. We

1263
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:40,279
Speaker 3: have had our moments, but our relationship is going good

1264
00:54:40,680 --> 00:54:43,600
Speaker 3: and I believe he is my soulmate. Recently, there's been

1265
00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:45,600
Speaker 3: an issue in our relationship.

1266
00:54:45,040 --> 00:54:46,640
Speaker 4: Though, Angela.

1267
00:54:47,200 --> 00:54:49,600
Speaker 3: Three weeks ago, we were out running errands and went

1268
00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:51,839
Speaker 3: to a small boba shop that just opened up next

1269
00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:54,040
Speaker 3: to our local grocery store. As we were off to

1270
00:54:54,080 --> 00:54:56,120
Speaker 3: the side looking at the menu, from the corner of

1271
00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:59,040
Speaker 3: my eye, I see a woman that looks similar to

1272
00:54:59,120 --> 00:55:02,600
Speaker 3: Angela walk in. I do a double take, and sure enough,

1273
00:55:02,719 --> 00:55:05,600
Speaker 3: it's her. I feel an intense amount of dread and

1274
00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:09,120
Speaker 3: hope that Hobby doesn't see her. As I'm internally panicking,

1275
00:55:09,160 --> 00:55:11,400
Speaker 3: I hear a woman's voice call from my husband, and

1276
00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:15,560
Speaker 3: as you might have guessed, it was Angela. My husband

1277
00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:18,320
Speaker 3: turns around and they have a small but awkward conversation.

1278
00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:20,759
Speaker 3: The whole time, I just associate and stare off to

1279
00:55:20,800 --> 00:55:24,680
Speaker 3: the distance until she asks my husband, is that your wife,

1280
00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:27,040
Speaker 3: to which he just nods and holds my hand. I

1281
00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:30,000
Speaker 3: pretty much just awkwardly smile and pray this encounter would

1282
00:55:30,080 --> 00:55:32,520
Speaker 3: end the whole time, and eventually she gets in line

1283
00:55:32,560 --> 00:55:35,399
Speaker 3: and we wait behind her. I felt so embarrassed I

1284
00:55:35,400 --> 00:55:38,720
Speaker 3: immediately got out drinks and left. How was that until

1285
00:55:38,880 --> 00:55:41,399
Speaker 3: two weeks ago when I saw my husband's phone light

1286
00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:44,919
Speaker 3: up to a Facebook Messenger notification. I asked him who

1287
00:55:44,920 --> 00:55:47,879
Speaker 3: it was from, as he never uses Messenger. He said

1288
00:55:47,920 --> 00:55:50,440
Speaker 3: it was from an old friend. I asked who, and

1289
00:55:50,520 --> 00:55:53,439
Speaker 3: he said I wouldn't know. I became suspicious, but wasn't

1290
00:55:53,440 --> 00:55:56,000
Speaker 3: necessarily worried because I just assumed it was a friend

1291
00:55:56,200 --> 00:55:58,760
Speaker 3: until a few days later when he got another Facebook

1292
00:55:58,760 --> 00:56:01,600
Speaker 3: Messenger notification while I was ordering food on his phone.

1293
00:56:01,719 --> 00:56:05,239
Speaker 3: It was from Angela. I was shocked and confused. I

1294
00:56:05,280 --> 00:56:08,560
Speaker 3: went to their messages, and everything seemed friendly and casual,

1295
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:11,759
Speaker 3: though because of their history, I felt very uncomfortable with

1296
00:56:11,800 --> 00:56:14,000
Speaker 3: them talking. I went up to him and confronted him

1297
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:16,839
Speaker 3: about the texts and asked why she was texting him.

1298
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:19,120
Speaker 3: He told me that after running into her, she friended

1299
00:56:19,160 --> 00:56:22,000
Speaker 3: him on Facebook and they began talking. He assured me

1300
00:56:22,040 --> 00:56:25,279
Speaker 3: it was all casual, but I still told him I

1301
00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:27,520
Speaker 3: didn't want him talking to her. You assured me it

1302
00:56:27,600 --> 00:56:30,160
Speaker 3: was stop. I told him to unfriend to her, to

1303
00:56:30,200 --> 00:56:33,440
Speaker 3: which he hesitated but eventually did. There was no issue

1304
00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:37,239
Speaker 3: or word from Angela until last night, to which, from

1305
00:56:37,239 --> 00:56:40,720
Speaker 3: my knowledge, she spam messaged to my husband even called

1306
00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:43,120
Speaker 3: him crying to telling him that her mother was sick.

1307
00:56:43,360 --> 00:56:45,719
Speaker 3: I guess he knew her mother and felt sympathy towards her.

1308
00:56:45,920 --> 00:56:48,000
Speaker 3: Angela invented to him about how she had no one

1309
00:56:48,440 --> 00:56:51,040
Speaker 3: and she just needed someone to comfort her. She asked

1310
00:56:51,040 --> 00:56:53,120
Speaker 3: my husband if he could come and be there for her.

1311
00:56:53,040 --> 00:56:56,440
Speaker 1: To which he said, es, it's like so clearly a ploy.

1312
00:56:56,880 --> 00:57:00,239
Speaker 3: I have no one else? Can you come alone and

1313
00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:03,560
Speaker 3: comfort me at night? She that much of a freaking

1314
00:57:03,640 --> 00:57:06,360
Speaker 3: loser that she has to call her X up man.

1315
00:57:06,120 --> 00:57:08,480
Speaker 1: Come on like zero people.

1316
00:57:08,680 --> 00:57:11,200
Speaker 3: I had no idea he was doing this until I

1317
00:57:11,239 --> 00:57:13,600
Speaker 3: saw him putting his shoes on near the door. I

1318
00:57:13,600 --> 00:57:15,400
Speaker 3: asked him where he was going, and he told me

1319
00:57:15,520 --> 00:57:17,840
Speaker 3: the story of Angela's mom and that she needed someone

1320
00:57:17,880 --> 00:57:20,240
Speaker 3: to be with her, someone but not you. I told

1321
00:57:20,280 --> 00:57:23,400
Speaker 3: him not to go, and we had a small argument.

1322
00:57:23,720 --> 00:57:26,120
Speaker 3: He was rushing out the door, so I blocked him

1323
00:57:26,120 --> 00:57:28,080
Speaker 3: in and said that if he was going to go

1324
00:57:28,160 --> 00:57:31,400
Speaker 3: see and comfort his ex, that he wasn't allowed back in.

1325
00:57:31,720 --> 00:57:34,760
Speaker 3: He scoffed and pushed past me. I watched as he left.

1326
00:57:34,960 --> 00:57:37,680
Speaker 3: I went back inside, poured a few drinks while I

1327
00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:41,440
Speaker 3: tried my hardest to not cry, and blow up his phone. Eventually,

1328
00:57:41,520 --> 00:57:44,120
Speaker 3: three hours passed and he came back home. I sat

1329
00:57:44,160 --> 00:57:46,160
Speaker 3: on the couch during this, and as he came in,

1330
00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:48,160
Speaker 3: I told him that he wasn't allowed to sleep here.

1331
00:57:48,360 --> 00:57:51,360
Speaker 3: He was shocked and we got into another argument, and

1332
00:57:51,400 --> 00:57:53,960
Speaker 3: to cut it short, he told me he had nowhere

1333
00:57:53,960 --> 00:57:56,240
Speaker 3: to go, so I told him that maybe he should

1334
00:57:56,320 --> 00:57:58,440
Speaker 3: go to Angela, as they seemed to help each other

1335
00:57:58,480 --> 00:58:00,919
Speaker 3: a lot. He then left again and I haven't heard

1336
00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:03,320
Speaker 3: anything from him. I'm currently staying up and I have

1337
00:58:03,520 --> 00:58:05,800
Speaker 3: had a few drinks. I've decided to post this on

1338
00:58:05,840 --> 00:58:08,200
Speaker 3: Reddit as I feel like I might have overreacted and

1339
00:58:08,280 --> 00:58:10,560
Speaker 3: been an a hole. I just need advice on hout

1340
00:58:10,560 --> 00:58:13,520
Speaker 3: to handle this whole situation as I'm barely able to

1341
00:58:13,560 --> 00:58:16,000
Speaker 3: process what to do. I'm sorry if this was long.

1342
00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:19,440
Speaker 3: I needed to vent, and there is a small update.

1343
00:58:19,800 --> 00:58:22,240
Speaker 3: I eventually went to sleep and sent a text that

1344
00:58:22,280 --> 00:58:25,040
Speaker 3: I was sick and wasn't coming into work today. It's

1345
00:58:25,080 --> 00:58:27,080
Speaker 3: currently two pm where I live and I've just been

1346
00:58:27,200 --> 00:58:29,439
Speaker 3: napping and kind of out of it. I haven't heard

1347
00:58:29,440 --> 00:58:32,200
Speaker 3: from him at all and he hasn't come back home.

1348
00:58:32,400 --> 00:58:34,080
Speaker 3: I'm kind of worried as I don't know where he's

1349
00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:36,920
Speaker 3: at his location has been off since yesterday.

1350
00:58:37,520 --> 00:58:39,760
Speaker 1: Uh.

1351
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:41,760
Speaker 3: I might send him a text later to make sure

1352
00:58:41,760 --> 00:58:43,840
Speaker 3: he's okay. I don't know if this is a good idea,

1353
00:58:44,280 --> 00:58:47,040
Speaker 3: as I'm not in the best mindset right now and

1354
00:58:47,160 --> 00:58:49,439
Speaker 3: have been in zombie mode as of now. I'm trying

1355
00:58:49,480 --> 00:58:52,280
Speaker 3: to process what even happened as it went by so fast.

1356
00:58:52,760 --> 00:58:55,600
Speaker 3: I'll keep you all updated if anything happens. Thank you

1357
00:58:55,640 --> 00:58:58,800
Speaker 3: all again, and there is an update. But do you

1358
00:58:58,840 --> 00:58:59,440
Speaker 3: have any thoughts?

1359
00:58:59,560 --> 00:58:59,600
Speaker 5: No?

1360
00:59:00,640 --> 00:59:03,320
Speaker 1: Oh, okay, I have some thoughts, but it's like I

1361
00:59:03,360 --> 00:59:05,600
Speaker 1: want to streamline because I feel like I have more

1362
00:59:05,640 --> 00:59:06,520
Speaker 1: thoughts later.

1363
00:59:06,520 --> 00:59:09,959
Speaker 3: Let's get more information. Update. It's been eight days since

1364
00:59:09,960 --> 00:59:12,360
Speaker 3: I posted my original post, and I finally have an

1365
00:59:12,400 --> 00:59:14,800
Speaker 3: update for y'all. I'm sorry it took too long, but

1366
00:59:14,920 --> 00:59:17,200
Speaker 3: I've been sick. This is going to be long, so

1367
00:59:17,240 --> 00:59:19,800
Speaker 3: I apologize as I have to address a few things.

1368
00:59:19,880 --> 00:59:21,520
Speaker 3: I want to first say thank you to those that

1369
00:59:21,560 --> 00:59:24,000
Speaker 3: gave helpful and support comments and to those that said

1370
00:59:24,280 --> 00:59:26,760
Speaker 3: I drove my husband straight to another woman's arms or

1371
00:59:26,800 --> 00:59:29,680
Speaker 3: I was hostile and controlling. First, if my husband was

1372
00:59:29,720 --> 00:59:32,120
Speaker 3: willing to go to another woman when in an argument

1373
00:59:32,160 --> 00:59:36,040
Speaker 3: with his wife, then is he really my husband. I mean,

1374
00:59:36,080 --> 00:59:38,400
Speaker 3: I have some standards to not marry an awful person.

1375
00:59:38,640 --> 00:59:41,120
Speaker 3: Second to those saying that I was controlling a hostile

1376
00:59:41,160 --> 00:59:44,120
Speaker 3: towards Angela, if you have a partner and are okay

1377
00:59:44,120 --> 00:59:46,280
Speaker 3: with them doing something like this, then that's something within

1378
00:59:46,320 --> 00:59:49,280
Speaker 3: your boundaries, not mine. I don't like having contact with

1379
00:59:49,440 --> 00:59:52,880
Speaker 3: Xes or having my husband be in contact with his ex. Finally,

1380
00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:55,600
Speaker 3: the age gap. I explained the story of how they

1381
00:59:55,640 --> 00:59:57,920
Speaker 3: met and such on a comment, but to sum it up,

1382
00:59:58,040 --> 01:00:00,760
Speaker 3: she had originally lied about her aid wish. I didn't

1383
01:00:00,800 --> 01:00:03,960
Speaker 3: know her age or anything about her until I was engaged. Okay,

1384
01:00:04,040 --> 01:00:06,800
Speaker 3: on to what happened. He eventually came home later that

1385
01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:09,080
Speaker 3: day and I was watching TV on the couch when

1386
01:00:09,080 --> 01:00:11,440
Speaker 3: he walked in. We looked at each other and didn't

1387
01:00:11,440 --> 01:00:13,760
Speaker 3: say anything. He went to our room, took a shower,

1388
01:00:13,880 --> 01:00:16,280
Speaker 3: and fell asleep. I was still upset with him, so

1389
01:00:16,320 --> 01:00:18,439
Speaker 3: I avoided going to check up on him or even

1390
01:00:18,480 --> 01:00:20,920
Speaker 3: talk to him. So I waited in the living room

1391
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:23,520
Speaker 3: slash kitchen until a few hours later. When he woke up.

1392
01:00:23,680 --> 01:00:26,160
Speaker 3: I decided to make dinner. He came out, sat on

1393
01:00:26,200 --> 01:00:28,640
Speaker 3: the couch and we ate in silence before he asked

1394
01:00:28,640 --> 01:00:30,800
Speaker 3: if I wanted to talk, they said I did, and

1395
01:00:30,840 --> 01:00:33,439
Speaker 3: he explained what happened from what he told me when

1396
01:00:33,440 --> 01:00:35,720
Speaker 3: we saw her at the Bobo shop. She had friended

1397
01:00:35,760 --> 01:00:38,560
Speaker 3: him on Facebook later that day. He didn't friend her

1398
01:00:38,600 --> 01:00:41,560
Speaker 3: back though, and ignored it, and eventually a few days

1399
01:00:41,600 --> 01:00:44,160
Speaker 3: later she sent him a message request. This is when

1400
01:00:44,200 --> 01:00:46,520
Speaker 3: he handed me his phone to see the messages to

1401
01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:48,640
Speaker 3: summon up. She texted him a few times over a

1402
01:00:48,720 --> 01:00:52,040
Speaker 3: range of days without an answer, from pleasantries, updates about

1403
01:00:52,040 --> 01:00:54,320
Speaker 3: her life, and finally a self harming message.

1404
01:00:54,400 --> 01:00:55,040
Speaker 1: Oh god.

1405
01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:56,960
Speaker 3: Now I don't know what is allowed to be said

1406
01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:59,160
Speaker 3: in the supreddit, but my husband did respond out of

1407
01:00:59,160 --> 01:01:01,960
Speaker 3: worry for another or so he claimed. They talked a

1408
01:01:01,960 --> 01:01:05,600
Speaker 3: lot about her bad habits, self harm, and other very

1409
01:01:05,640 --> 01:01:08,360
Speaker 3: personal things relating to that. Though reading I did find

1410
01:01:08,360 --> 01:01:10,040
Speaker 3: out she had a boyfriend and that he was actually

1411
01:01:10,120 --> 01:01:12,440
Speaker 3: fifty one years old. My husband calmed her down and

1412
01:01:12,480 --> 01:01:14,720
Speaker 3: they stopped talking for a few days, when she reached

1413
01:01:14,720 --> 01:01:17,880
Speaker 3: out again and the same thing happened. This repeated again,

1414
01:01:18,040 --> 01:01:20,960
Speaker 3: where he wouldn't respond until she guilted him too. When

1415
01:01:20,960 --> 01:01:22,959
Speaker 3: I had found out and told him to block her,

1416
01:01:23,520 --> 01:01:25,760
Speaker 3: he actually didn't block her out of fear but he

1417
01:01:25,800 --> 01:01:28,600
Speaker 3: didn't respond to her messages until that night. She actually

1418
01:01:28,680 --> 01:01:31,960
Speaker 3: sent very concerning messages beforehand and called him on messenger.

1419
01:01:32,200 --> 01:01:34,520
Speaker 3: He answered, and he said that she was wailing and

1420
01:01:34,560 --> 01:01:37,520
Speaker 3: screaming in pain. Now, I don't want to say too much,

1421
01:01:37,600 --> 01:01:40,160
Speaker 3: but she attempted to take a bunch of pills because

1422
01:01:40,160 --> 01:01:42,120
Speaker 3: of her mother, which is why he rushed to her.

1423
01:01:42,160 --> 01:01:43,959
Speaker 3: When he got there, he told me she was acting

1424
01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:46,479
Speaker 3: strangely and almost pretending to have done what she did.

1425
01:01:46,720 --> 01:01:48,520
Speaker 3: He tried to get her to the hospital, to which

1426
01:01:48,520 --> 01:01:51,280
Speaker 3: she refused. After pleading for a while, he was getting

1427
01:01:51,320 --> 01:01:53,160
Speaker 3: ready to call nine one one when she confessed she

1428
01:01:53,200 --> 01:01:56,440
Speaker 3: didn't actually take any pills. He was confused and asked

1429
01:01:56,480 --> 01:01:59,040
Speaker 3: why she said she did. She couldn't give him a

1430
01:01:59,040 --> 01:01:59,720
Speaker 3: clear answer.

1431
01:02:00,160 --> 01:02:03,520
Speaker 4: Dummy, you know why she did, And come on, dude.

1432
01:02:03,480 --> 01:02:05,880
Speaker 3: My husband was going to leave when she begged him

1433
01:02:05,880 --> 01:02:08,560
Speaker 3: to let her explain again. She said her mom is

1434
01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:10,440
Speaker 3: the only person who cares about her and that she

1435
01:02:10,520 --> 01:02:12,800
Speaker 3: needed someone with her after she found out she was sick,

1436
01:02:12,840 --> 01:02:14,920
Speaker 3: and that she had no one but my husband, and

1437
01:02:14,960 --> 01:02:17,880
Speaker 3: my husband wouldn't come otherwise if it wasn't urgent. My

1438
01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:20,000
Speaker 3: husband wasn't buying it, so he asked if her mom

1439
01:02:20,080 --> 01:02:22,480
Speaker 3: was even sick, to which she denied it but seemed

1440
01:02:22,480 --> 01:02:24,720
Speaker 3: to be lying. My husband then left. He told me

1441
01:02:24,760 --> 01:02:26,680
Speaker 3: he just stayed in his car for a while before

1442
01:02:26,680 --> 01:02:30,040
Speaker 3: coming back home, and that's when the confrontation happened. He

1443
01:02:30,080 --> 01:02:32,640
Speaker 3: said he was very tired and felt horrible, so he

1444
01:02:32,680 --> 01:02:35,240
Speaker 3: wasn't in the right headspas to explain right then and there.

1445
01:02:35,360 --> 01:02:37,360
Speaker 3: He also told me he didn't go back to Angela's,

1446
01:02:37,400 --> 01:02:40,200
Speaker 3: but instead just stayed in his car, got food, and

1447
01:02:40,240 --> 01:02:43,040
Speaker 3: pretty much wantered town until he got home later that day.

1448
01:02:43,240 --> 01:02:46,680
Speaker 3: After this, I felt very overwhelmed. I usually like to

1449
01:02:46,720 --> 01:02:49,200
Speaker 3: take time to myself to process things before making a

1450
01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:52,160
Speaker 3: decision or response, so I told him I needed time.

1451
01:02:52,360 --> 01:02:54,480
Speaker 3: I didn't interact with him until the next morning and

1452
01:02:54,520 --> 01:02:56,959
Speaker 3: told him I needed more time before talking to him again,

1453
01:02:57,440 --> 01:02:59,080
Speaker 3: and was going to stay with my parents for a

1454
01:02:59,080 --> 01:03:02,800
Speaker 3: few days. Now we're here, A few days actually turned

1455
01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:04,919
Speaker 3: into a week because as soon as I got here,

1456
01:03:04,960 --> 01:03:07,320
Speaker 3: I got sick, so I haven't felt good enough to

1457
01:03:07,360 --> 01:03:10,080
Speaker 3: even drive back home, much less process or think much.

1458
01:03:10,320 --> 01:03:12,840
Speaker 3: I secretly don't even know how or what to do,

1459
01:03:13,080 --> 01:03:14,520
Speaker 3: like how do we just go back to normal?

1460
01:03:14,760 --> 01:03:15,760
Speaker 1: I still feel.

1461
01:03:15,520 --> 01:03:18,240
Speaker 3: Betrayed, and even though he didn't cheat, I don't trust

1462
01:03:18,320 --> 01:03:20,520
Speaker 3: him and I don't even know if he's telling the truth.

1463
01:03:20,680 --> 01:03:23,360
Speaker 3: I mean, divorce is extreme for something so minor, but

1464
01:03:23,440 --> 01:03:25,600
Speaker 3: I don't know. I have to go back home tomorrow

1465
01:03:25,640 --> 01:03:27,360
Speaker 3: as I feel a bit better, and I can't hide

1466
01:03:27,400 --> 01:03:30,560
Speaker 3: out here forever, as I have responsibilities. Even though it's

1467
01:03:30,600 --> 01:03:32,600
Speaker 3: been a nice escape and being with my family has

1468
01:03:32,640 --> 01:03:35,200
Speaker 3: been great, I haven't talked much to my husband except

1469
01:03:35,240 --> 01:03:37,880
Speaker 3: through text, So tomorrow will be our first face to

1470
01:03:37,920 --> 01:03:42,280
Speaker 3: face conversation in a week. And you can have conversations

1471
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:46,080
Speaker 3: with us, but they're one sided if you listen to

1472
01:03:46,120 --> 01:03:49,360
Speaker 3: full episodes of stories just like this. Just go to

1473
01:03:49,400 --> 01:03:53,240
Speaker 3: Apple podcast, Spotify or iHeartRadio or wherever you get your

1474
01:03:53,240 --> 01:03:55,320
Speaker 3: podcasts an searchip Okay, Storry Tom.

1475
01:03:55,360 --> 01:03:58,240
Speaker 1: We can definitely have a conversation. We just can't hear you.

1476
01:03:58,360 --> 01:04:00,160
Speaker 3: But there's a little bit left to the story. Do

1477
01:04:00,240 --> 01:04:02,520
Speaker 3: you have your thoughts collected?

1478
01:04:02,640 --> 01:04:06,320
Speaker 1: Now? I have plenty of thoughts. Something's going on? What

1479
01:04:06,480 --> 01:04:07,520
Speaker 1: else is going on?

1480
01:04:07,960 --> 01:04:09,640
Speaker 3: I kind of believe this is true.

1481
01:04:09,720 --> 01:04:12,720
Speaker 4: I just don't understand the hymn dropping everything for her.

1482
01:04:13,160 --> 01:04:15,960
Speaker 3: I mean hearing that someone you know is maybe going

1483
01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:18,960
Speaker 3: to harm themselves is scary. But also, why didn't you

1484
01:04:19,040 --> 01:04:20,440
Speaker 3: tell your wife any of this? Why didn't she just

1485
01:04:20,520 --> 01:04:23,040
Speaker 3: say she keeps telling me all this stuff. That's why

1486
01:04:23,080 --> 01:04:25,320
Speaker 3: I'm worried about her. Why did you lie? Why did

1487
01:04:25,360 --> 01:04:26,360
Speaker 3: you keep this a secret?

1488
01:04:26,600 --> 01:04:28,480
Speaker 1: So silly, so suspicious.

1489
01:04:28,680 --> 01:04:30,880
Speaker 5: Well, again, if you really look back at it, he

1490
01:04:30,920 --> 01:04:33,760
Speaker 5: started this relationship with his current wife with a lie

1491
01:04:33,880 --> 01:04:34,720
Speaker 5: until he got caught.

1492
01:04:34,760 --> 01:04:36,680
Speaker 4: He told her like, oh, this is what I'm doing.

1493
01:04:36,760 --> 01:04:39,640
Speaker 3: Oh wait, we're exclusive, which sounds like they had a

1494
01:04:39,680 --> 01:04:40,640
Speaker 3: conversation about it.

1495
01:04:40,680 --> 01:04:43,640
Speaker 1: Oh dumb. You know when the vibe is exclusivity, don't

1496
01:04:43,680 --> 01:04:44,760
Speaker 1: play like you don't.

1497
01:04:44,960 --> 01:04:47,680
Speaker 3: But still have a conversation. So that's the update. What

1498
01:04:47,840 --> 01:04:49,919
Speaker 3: actually reminded me to do this update was I got

1499
01:04:49,920 --> 01:04:52,280
Speaker 3: a random message request on Instagram a few hours ago

1500
01:04:52,360 --> 01:04:55,000
Speaker 3: from a burner account. It's a picture and I'm kind

1501
01:04:55,040 --> 01:04:57,440
Speaker 3: of scared to open it. I know it's probably a

1502
01:04:57,480 --> 01:04:59,760
Speaker 3: scam thing, but something in my gut is telling me

1503
01:04:59,800 --> 01:05:02,200
Speaker 3: it's connected to Angela, and I don't know if I

1504
01:05:02,240 --> 01:05:05,600
Speaker 3: should open it. Update. So I opened the picture and

1505
01:05:05,680 --> 01:05:08,520
Speaker 3: it was a screen shot oh from what I assume

1506
01:05:08,600 --> 01:05:13,280
Speaker 3: is Angela's private story of her in lingerie with a

1507
01:05:13,320 --> 01:05:17,480
Speaker 3: caption that said, she'll just have to taste me when

1508
01:05:17,520 --> 01:05:21,720
Speaker 3: she's kissing him. Not the freaking Sabrina Carpenter lyrics.

1509
01:05:22,000 --> 01:05:25,040
Speaker 1: First of all, I don't even know any Sabrina Carpenter Lyrics.

1510
01:05:25,280 --> 01:05:29,240
Speaker 1: Is probably a lie. That is a deranged woman who

1511
01:05:29,320 --> 01:05:31,880
Speaker 1: is living out of fantasy in her own head. That's

1512
01:05:31,960 --> 01:05:35,080
Speaker 1: what I'm betting. She screenshotted her own private story and

1513
01:05:35,080 --> 01:05:37,040
Speaker 1: then sent it to you on a fake Burner account.

1514
01:05:37,080 --> 01:05:39,720
Speaker 1: That's crazy, that's weird, it's crazy, But.

1515
01:05:40,240 --> 01:05:42,080
Speaker 3: That is the end of that story.

1516
01:05:43,160 --> 01:05:44,800
Speaker 2: Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to the stories.

1517
01:05:44,800 --> 01:05:46,800
Speaker 2: Put a quick three minute ad break from our sponsors

1518
01:05:46,800 --> 01:05:47,680
Speaker 2: that keep the show going.

1519
01:05:48,320 --> 01:05:52,280
Speaker 1: I want to skip my wife's cousin's wedding for my

1520
01:05:52,480 --> 01:05:53,920
Speaker 1: own family's gathering.

1521
01:05:54,200 --> 01:05:56,160
Speaker 3: You gotta pick one. Who's more important?

1522
01:05:56,440 --> 01:06:00,680
Speaker 1: Is the Montagues and the Capulates. February seventeenth, twenty twenty five.

1523
01:06:01,080 --> 01:06:04,440
Speaker 1: My wife and I are on vacation in my native country.

1524
01:06:04,640 --> 01:06:06,680
Speaker 1: I lived here until I was eighteen, when I moved

1525
01:06:06,720 --> 01:06:10,040
Speaker 1: to Canada. My wife was a born Canadian, but her

1526
01:06:10,080 --> 01:06:12,960
Speaker 1: parents moved from the same country I did. We have

1527
01:06:12,960 --> 01:06:15,800
Speaker 1: a one year old daughter. My parents still live in

1528
01:06:15,840 --> 01:06:18,240
Speaker 1: my native country. By the way, this comes from user

1529
01:06:18,880 --> 01:06:21,760
Speaker 1: sq one Nostalgia and if you want to submit your

1530
01:06:21,760 --> 01:06:24,320
Speaker 1: own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime subwrite it.

1531
01:06:24,560 --> 01:06:27,440
Speaker 1: So my parents and her relatives live in different parts

1532
01:06:27,520 --> 01:06:30,040
Speaker 1: of the country, so we landed at her relatives and

1533
01:06:30,080 --> 01:06:32,240
Speaker 1: I spent the day there, said my goodbyes to my

1534
01:06:32,280 --> 01:06:34,640
Speaker 1: wife and daughter, and flew to my parents. The plan

1535
01:06:34,800 --> 01:06:36,800
Speaker 1: was that I would spend two weeks at my parents,

1536
01:06:36,840 --> 01:06:39,320
Speaker 1: then fly to my wife's for three days, attend her

1537
01:06:39,400 --> 01:06:41,680
Speaker 1: cousin's wedding with her, and then we would all fly

1538
01:06:41,800 --> 01:06:44,440
Speaker 1: back to my parents for a few days, my parents

1539
01:06:44,520 --> 01:06:46,560
Speaker 1: get to see my daughter, and then we would fly

1540
01:06:46,640 --> 01:06:48,840
Speaker 1: back to Canada. A couple of days ago, my relatives

1541
01:06:48,880 --> 01:06:51,720
Speaker 1: had decided to arrange a hangout for the entire family

1542
01:06:51,760 --> 01:06:55,160
Speaker 1: at the beach huts booked and all some other relatives

1543
01:06:55,160 --> 01:06:57,680
Speaker 1: of mine that live in other countries are also here

1544
01:06:57,880 --> 01:07:00,480
Speaker 1: at the time, so it's supposed to be a good

1545
01:07:00,480 --> 01:07:03,200
Speaker 1: old family gathered. But it's scheduled for the day of

1546
01:07:03,240 --> 01:07:05,920
Speaker 1: my wife's cousin's wedding. A couple of my uncles called

1547
01:07:05,920 --> 01:07:08,320
Speaker 1: me to ask me to change my plans so I

1548
01:07:08,320 --> 01:07:11,000
Speaker 1: could attend, and my parents want me to be there too.

1549
01:07:11,280 --> 01:07:13,760
Speaker 1: I thought of changing my flight till later, so i'd

1550
01:07:13,840 --> 01:07:16,760
Speaker 1: be going after the wedding for just today and then

1551
01:07:16,800 --> 01:07:19,160
Speaker 1: coming back with my wife and daughter. I told my

1552
01:07:19,160 --> 01:07:21,240
Speaker 1: own wife about this, and I was pretty sure she'd

1553
01:07:21,240 --> 01:07:23,720
Speaker 1: be on board, because even though she's very close to

1554
01:07:23,760 --> 01:07:27,240
Speaker 1: her cousin, I don't know her at all. However, she

1555
01:07:27,400 --> 01:07:30,680
Speaker 1: got really upset, saying that we had a plan and

1556
01:07:30,760 --> 01:07:32,480
Speaker 1: that she wanted me to be there at the wedding

1557
01:07:32,520 --> 01:07:35,200
Speaker 1: with her, that she wanted good photos of our family.

1558
01:07:35,360 --> 01:07:37,320
Speaker 1: I tried to explain that it would mean a lot

1559
01:07:37,360 --> 01:07:40,080
Speaker 1: to my family if I could make it to the gathering,

1560
01:07:40,560 --> 01:07:43,760
Speaker 1: that they didn't make these plans often, and the wedding

1561
01:07:43,920 --> 01:07:46,680
Speaker 1: is all her relatives, a lot of whom don't even

1562
01:07:46,760 --> 01:07:50,280
Speaker 1: know me. She got really upset, wouldn't hear of it,

1563
01:07:50,600 --> 01:07:53,000
Speaker 1: and said I need to be there. We ended the call.

1564
01:07:53,040 --> 01:07:55,480
Speaker 1: There would I be the a hole if I extended

1565
01:07:55,480 --> 01:07:58,240
Speaker 1: my stay and missed her cousin's wedding whom I don't know,

1566
01:07:58,640 --> 01:08:01,440
Speaker 1: because my relatives have planned a grand gathering and would

1567
01:08:01,520 --> 01:08:04,400
Speaker 1: like me there. And there are some comments.

1568
01:08:04,080 --> 01:08:07,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, you would be the a whole You made plans also,

1569
01:08:07,600 --> 01:08:09,880
Speaker 3: He's like I don't know anyone. This is a chance

1570
01:08:09,920 --> 01:08:12,840
Speaker 3: for you to know her family. What are you talking about? Yes,

1571
01:08:12,880 --> 01:08:15,040
Speaker 3: you would be the ale. You can't just be like, well,

1572
01:08:15,480 --> 01:08:18,000
Speaker 3: these plans are more fun, so I'm gonna do this,

1573
01:08:18,080 --> 01:08:21,360
Speaker 3: And she's like, dude, you said yes you RSVP to

1574
01:08:21,400 --> 01:08:24,400
Speaker 3: this wedding. You can't back out because you have better plans.

1575
01:08:24,600 --> 01:08:26,960
Speaker 4: We have a baby one year old by the way, and.

1576
01:08:26,920 --> 01:08:29,519
Speaker 3: You're gonna make me take the baby to the wedding

1577
01:08:29,560 --> 01:08:31,519
Speaker 3: by myself. Yeah, you would be the ale.

1578
01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:34,920
Speaker 1: Unbelievable. We have some comments that I'm sure about to

1579
01:08:35,160 --> 01:08:38,000
Speaker 1: rip this person in half. Sorry, you would be the

1580
01:08:38,000 --> 01:08:40,599
Speaker 1: a hole. You asked her input and she gave it. Yes,

1581
01:08:40,640 --> 01:08:42,679
Speaker 1: it would mean a lot to your relatives if you stayed,

1582
01:08:42,680 --> 01:08:44,559
Speaker 1: But apparently it would mean a lot to your wife

1583
01:08:44,640 --> 01:08:47,160
Speaker 1: if you came to the wedding. It may sound unfair,

1584
01:08:47,200 --> 01:08:49,360
Speaker 1: but ultimately it's more in your interest to make her

1585
01:08:49,400 --> 01:08:52,639
Speaker 1: happy than to make some relatives happy. You did have

1586
01:08:52,720 --> 01:08:55,760
Speaker 1: a plan. Did you not inform your relatives ahead of

1587
01:08:55,800 --> 01:08:57,280
Speaker 1: time that you would be there and win?

1588
01:08:57,560 --> 01:08:57,760
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1589
01:08:57,800 --> 01:08:59,680
Speaker 3: Did they not ask you if they wanted you to

1590
01:08:59,680 --> 01:08:59,880
Speaker 3: be there?

1591
01:09:00,320 --> 01:09:02,120
Speaker 1: Why don't they push it back a day? Sounds like

1592
01:09:02,160 --> 01:09:05,639
Speaker 1: this all could have just been planned better. Ope down voted.

1593
01:09:05,960 --> 01:09:08,800
Speaker 1: My relatives other than my parents, of course, didn't know

1594
01:09:08,880 --> 01:09:10,719
Speaker 1: I was going to be gone for a few days

1595
01:09:10,800 --> 01:09:13,120
Speaker 1: to be with my wife, and they've now booked everything,

1596
01:09:13,160 --> 01:09:15,600
Speaker 1: and some of my extended relatives are also here on

1597
01:09:15,640 --> 01:09:18,200
Speaker 1: those days, who I never get to see. In a reply,

1598
01:09:18,560 --> 01:09:21,599
Speaker 1: you're the ahole. Do you not parent your daughter at all?

1599
01:09:21,760 --> 01:09:23,880
Speaker 1: She is one and you want to send your wife

1600
01:09:23,920 --> 01:09:26,520
Speaker 1: alone to a wedding with a toddler? That's just crazy?

1601
01:09:26,840 --> 01:09:30,800
Speaker 1: Down voted Ope response. Of course I parent her too.

1602
01:09:31,160 --> 01:09:33,880
Speaker 1: My wife's parents have also flown to attend the wedding

1603
01:09:34,200 --> 01:09:36,880
Speaker 1: and they're there with her too. She's not alone. You're

1604
01:09:36,880 --> 01:09:39,080
Speaker 1: the ale. Your wife has already been solo parenting for

1605
01:09:39,160 --> 01:09:40,560
Speaker 1: two weeks now you want her to go to a

1606
01:09:40,600 --> 01:09:43,880
Speaker 1: wedding toddler in tow without your assistance so that you

1607
01:09:43,920 --> 01:09:46,280
Speaker 1: can further extend your vacation. That's the thing.

1608
01:09:46,320 --> 01:09:49,320
Speaker 3: Oh, he's already aught like staying with his parents. He's

1609
01:09:49,439 --> 01:09:51,400
Speaker 3: spent time with his parents already.

1610
01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:54,080
Speaker 1: This is wild. When does your wife get a vacation

1611
01:09:54,240 --> 01:09:57,519
Speaker 1: without your child? Ope says, there was no way around it.

1612
01:09:57,800 --> 01:09:59,920
Speaker 1: We had to be at different places, and of course

1613
01:10:00,040 --> 01:10:02,000
Speaker 1: my one year old daughter had to beat with her mother.

1614
01:10:02,120 --> 01:10:04,519
Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, I agree with that, but also like

1615
01:10:05,080 --> 01:10:07,639
Speaker 1: you still need to empathize and realize, like, oh, I've

1616
01:10:07,640 --> 01:10:08,960
Speaker 1: been on vacation this whole time.

1617
01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:11,280
Speaker 3: But why did she have to? I mean she's noting

1618
01:10:11,280 --> 01:10:12,479
Speaker 3: anymore most likely?

1619
01:10:12,640 --> 01:10:14,599
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, I don't know why either.

1620
01:10:15,000 --> 01:10:15,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

1621
01:10:16,040 --> 01:10:18,040
Speaker 1: You're the a hole. Why is your family more important

1622
01:10:18,040 --> 01:10:21,120
Speaker 1: than hers? It's not about more important, It's just that

1623
01:10:21,240 --> 01:10:23,160
Speaker 1: I don't know a lot of her family, which is

1624
01:10:23,160 --> 01:10:25,599
Speaker 1: why the wedding is a great opportunity to meet them, dummy,

1625
01:10:26,120 --> 01:10:28,080
Speaker 1: and a lot of them don't know me since we

1626
01:10:28,120 --> 01:10:30,960
Speaker 1: live in Canada. I'm not asking her to abandon the wedding.

1627
01:10:31,240 --> 01:10:34,280
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to abandon the wedding. I'm just trying

1628
01:10:34,320 --> 01:10:36,040
Speaker 1: to say that I wouldn't be missed at the wedding

1629
01:10:36,080 --> 01:10:38,160
Speaker 1: as much as I would be at the family gathering. Bro,

1630
01:10:38,280 --> 01:10:39,599
Speaker 1: you'd be missed by your wife.

1631
01:10:39,720 --> 01:10:41,360
Speaker 3: She's already told you all.

1632
01:10:41,439 --> 01:10:43,840
Speaker 1: Right, here we go. Mini update. After my conversation with

1633
01:10:43,920 --> 01:10:46,800
Speaker 1: my wife, I realized I had to go because she

1634
01:10:46,880 --> 01:10:50,000
Speaker 1: was adamant about it. Oh is that? Why not? Because

1635
01:10:50,040 --> 01:10:52,960
Speaker 1: the entire internet started yelling at you. I came on

1636
01:10:53,080 --> 01:10:54,920
Speaker 1: here to know if I had a leg to stand on,

1637
01:10:55,080 --> 01:10:57,560
Speaker 1: because it really would mean a lot to my funks

1638
01:10:57,600 --> 01:11:00,120
Speaker 1: if I could stay. So I wanted to know if

1639
01:11:00,160 --> 01:11:01,720
Speaker 1: there was a non a whole way for me to

1640
01:11:01,760 --> 01:11:03,920
Speaker 1: do that and maybe persuade my wife. But apparently not.

1641
01:11:04,080 --> 01:11:06,040
Speaker 1: Oh my god, brother, just own it. What are you

1642
01:11:06,040 --> 01:11:08,320
Speaker 1: talking about? I plan on going. I let her know,

1643
01:11:08,520 --> 01:11:11,880
Speaker 1: and I apologized for the stress. A couple more replies here,

1644
01:11:12,040 --> 01:11:14,280
Speaker 1: Please don't sulk at the wedding and make her feel

1645
01:11:14,320 --> 01:11:16,799
Speaker 1: guilty about keeping you to your word. This is supposed

1646
01:11:16,840 --> 01:11:19,080
Speaker 1: to be an enjoyable event where she can introduce you

1647
01:11:19,280 --> 01:11:20,799
Speaker 1: and your child to her family.

1648
01:11:21,240 --> 01:11:21,439
Speaker 3: Hope.

1649
01:11:21,479 --> 01:11:23,519
Speaker 1: He says, no, of course not. I'm looking forward to

1650
01:11:23,560 --> 01:11:25,600
Speaker 1: going and seeing her and my daughter again. I was

1651
01:11:25,640 --> 01:11:28,559
Speaker 1: being unreasonable. I never want to embarrass her. She told

1652
01:11:28,560 --> 01:11:30,439
Speaker 1: me just now that she's looking forward to having our

1653
01:11:30,439 --> 01:11:33,000
Speaker 1: family pictures taken, and there's a couple's dinner we're supposed

1654
01:11:33,040 --> 01:11:34,920
Speaker 1: to have with her cousin and the groom, So this

1655
01:11:35,000 --> 01:11:38,479
Speaker 1: honestly should never have been negotiable. On my end. Commenter,

1656
01:11:38,600 --> 01:11:41,719
Speaker 1: this sounds horrible, and I know you've done some self reflection,

1657
01:11:41,840 --> 01:11:43,800
Speaker 1: but you might need a bit more. You're basically saying

1658
01:11:43,840 --> 01:11:46,559
Speaker 1: that your parents' opinions matter more than your wife's. Like

1659
01:11:46,600 --> 01:11:48,439
Speaker 1: you were fine with your wife being unhappy, and we're

1660
01:11:48,479 --> 01:11:50,720
Speaker 1: going to persuade or wear her down in agreeing with you,

1661
01:11:50,800 --> 01:11:53,439
Speaker 1: so you didn't have to be uncomfortable with telling your parents. No,

1662
01:11:53,720 --> 01:11:56,080
Speaker 1: that seems extra Guys. He just has like fomo and

1663
01:11:56,120 --> 01:11:58,599
Speaker 1: he's kind of being dumb. There are also some times

1664
01:11:58,640 --> 01:12:01,200
Speaker 1: where it's like I know, oh, it's like the extended

1665
01:12:01,200 --> 01:12:04,200
Speaker 1: family gatherings, and they really are rare. It's like sometimes

1666
01:12:04,439 --> 01:12:06,519
Speaker 1: you know, it's like, well, there'd may be be another

1667
01:12:06,600 --> 01:12:08,559
Speaker 1: opportunity for me to meet your family. But it's like

1668
01:12:08,720 --> 01:12:10,880
Speaker 1: you've already committed to the wedding. You're going about it

1669
01:12:10,920 --> 01:12:13,040
Speaker 1: the wrong way, like you should just go. After being

1670
01:12:13,080 --> 01:12:16,759
Speaker 1: called out in a very well structured comment, Op replies,

1671
01:12:17,000 --> 01:12:19,280
Speaker 1: when I called her, I really thought she wouldn't have

1672
01:12:19,360 --> 01:12:21,640
Speaker 1: a problem with it. When she did, I struggled with

1673
01:12:21,680 --> 01:12:23,840
Speaker 1: why because I saw my role in the wedding to

1674
01:12:23,840 --> 01:12:26,040
Speaker 1: be minimal seeing as I don't know anyone. You dummy,

1675
01:12:26,120 --> 01:12:28,360
Speaker 1: that's why you go. You meet them. You're there to

1676
01:12:28,439 --> 01:12:30,519
Speaker 1: meet them, you absolute fool.

1677
01:12:30,640 --> 01:12:32,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, you should want to go meet her family.

1678
01:12:32,520 --> 01:12:34,360
Speaker 1: What are you doing? Like, yeah, that's why she's probably

1679
01:12:34,400 --> 01:12:36,360
Speaker 1: so upset. Why does my husband not give a crap

1680
01:12:36,400 --> 01:12:39,280
Speaker 1: about meeting my family or introducing our child to them together.

1681
01:12:39,360 --> 01:12:43,559
Speaker 1: That's insane. Unanimously voted the a hole good February twenty third,

1682
01:12:43,720 --> 01:12:47,880
Speaker 1: twenty twenty five. I had received a justifiably harsh response

1683
01:12:48,360 --> 01:12:50,960
Speaker 1: to my last post, and I can't thank everyone enough

1684
01:12:51,000 --> 01:12:53,200
Speaker 1: for that. I realized I was being a selfish a hole,

1685
01:12:53,240 --> 01:12:55,400
Speaker 1: and I went to attend the wedding. Oh really, because

1686
01:12:55,400 --> 01:12:58,840
Speaker 1: that's not what you described in your last update. Buddy, Yeah,

1687
01:12:58,880 --> 01:12:59,439
Speaker 1: it seems like.

1688
01:12:59,439 --> 01:13:02,760
Speaker 3: Everyone and you're like, fine, I was being an a hole,

1689
01:13:02,880 --> 01:13:04,120
Speaker 3: so I went to the wedding.

1690
01:13:04,360 --> 01:13:06,479
Speaker 1: You're like, actually, I was just doing a social experiment

1691
01:13:06,520 --> 01:13:08,400
Speaker 1: to see if there was any way I could. It's like, no,

1692
01:13:08,680 --> 01:13:11,360
Speaker 1: you were not doing that. So I am at the wedding.

1693
01:13:11,560 --> 01:13:13,400
Speaker 1: It felt really good to see my wife and daughter

1694
01:13:13,439 --> 01:13:15,800
Speaker 1: after two weeks, and I was prepared to apologize to

1695
01:13:15,840 --> 01:13:18,960
Speaker 1: my wife's parents too for my reluctance, but fortunately she

1696
01:13:18,960 --> 01:13:21,560
Speaker 1: hadn't told them I was considering not coming. During the

1697
01:13:21,600 --> 01:13:24,519
Speaker 1: few hours when I was undecided. Oh my god, imagine

1698
01:13:24,520 --> 01:13:26,280
Speaker 1: he just did walk up to the parents and was like, sorry,

1699
01:13:26,280 --> 01:13:27,559
Speaker 1: I almost flaked and they're like.

1700
01:13:27,760 --> 01:13:29,920
Speaker 3: You weren't gonna come. He's like, yeah, I was seeing

1701
01:13:29,920 --> 01:13:31,400
Speaker 3: my hand on my purs.

1702
01:13:31,160 --> 01:13:34,760
Speaker 1: And the wife's just like Stark. I had to meet

1703
01:13:34,800 --> 01:13:36,960
Speaker 1: and greet a lot of people. My wife was the

1704
01:13:36,960 --> 01:13:39,120
Speaker 1: first amongst her cousins to get married, so I guess

1705
01:13:39,120 --> 01:13:41,439
Speaker 1: I'm the first outsider to become a part of the family.

1706
01:13:41,760 --> 01:13:43,439
Speaker 1: So I spent a lot of time talking to her

1707
01:13:43,439 --> 01:13:45,920
Speaker 1: relatives and got to know a few of them too.

1708
01:13:46,240 --> 01:13:48,240
Speaker 1: She was very close to her cousins, so she was

1709
01:13:48,280 --> 01:13:51,680
Speaker 1: basically what our equivalent of maid of honor is. She

1710
01:13:51,800 --> 01:13:53,320
Speaker 1: had a lot of stuff to deal with, and I

1711
01:13:53,400 --> 01:13:57,080
Speaker 1: was making myself of use by keeping our daughter preoccupied.

1712
01:13:57,439 --> 01:13:59,960
Speaker 1: They had planned on a lot of things like family pictures,

1713
01:14:00,080 --> 01:14:02,280
Speaker 1: couple's dinner with the bride and groom, and I was

1714
01:14:02,320 --> 01:14:04,519
Speaker 1: honestly in awe of the planning that went into it.

1715
01:14:04,560 --> 01:14:06,559
Speaker 1: And by the way, you can be in awe of

1716
01:14:06,600 --> 01:14:11,520
Speaker 1: the full episodes with stories like this on iHeartRadio, on Spotify,

1717
01:14:11,680 --> 01:14:14,519
Speaker 1: on Apple podcasts, all you gotta do is search Okay

1718
01:14:14,520 --> 01:14:17,719
Speaker 1: Storytime and you can listen to all twelve hundred hours

1719
01:14:17,720 --> 01:14:18,520
Speaker 1: of them.

1720
01:14:18,520 --> 01:14:20,400
Speaker 3: Man oh Man let's crack this story.

1721
01:14:20,479 --> 01:14:24,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, because we all know what's going on here. My goodness, buddy,

1722
01:14:24,600 --> 01:14:28,000
Speaker 1: I've been feeling pretty ashamed of how much trouble I

1723
01:14:28,040 --> 01:14:31,280
Speaker 1: would have caused her had I not gone. She asked

1724
01:14:31,320 --> 01:14:33,880
Speaker 1: me a few times if I enjoyed myself, which would

1725
01:14:33,880 --> 01:14:36,320
Speaker 1: make me feel even worse about it. My parents were

1726
01:14:36,320 --> 01:14:39,280
Speaker 1: disappointed about me not attending the family gathering, and it

1727
01:14:39,320 --> 01:14:41,559
Speaker 1: sounds like it was fun, but I've realized nothing is

1728
01:14:41,600 --> 01:14:43,719
Speaker 1: worth not being there for my wife and daughter. Thank

1729
01:14:43,720 --> 01:14:45,760
Speaker 1: you all for the a whole verdict I needed it.

1730
01:14:45,800 --> 01:14:48,800
Speaker 1: OPI's only update comment. Have you addressed yet with your

1731
01:14:48,800 --> 01:14:50,600
Speaker 1: family how hurtful it is that they picked one of

1732
01:14:50,600 --> 01:14:52,600
Speaker 1: the few days you weren't available and expected you to

1733
01:14:52,680 --> 01:14:55,519
Speaker 1: change plans last minute, because that really needs to be done.

1734
01:14:55,680 --> 01:14:58,920
Speaker 1: It's crappy af that they had the audacity to ask

1735
01:14:58,960 --> 01:15:00,639
Speaker 1: you to cancel on your wife like and I think

1736
01:15:00,680 --> 01:15:03,000
Speaker 1: it was already addressed that most of them had no

1737
01:15:03,040 --> 01:15:05,320
Speaker 1: idea that he was even in town for anything. Ohp

1738
01:15:05,320 --> 01:15:08,040
Speaker 1: He responds, It wasn't my parents who arranged it. It

1739
01:15:08,080 --> 01:15:09,960
Speaker 1: was a couple of my uncles, and I think they

1740
01:15:10,000 --> 01:15:12,840
Speaker 1: only knew when I was in the country until and

1741
01:15:12,880 --> 01:15:16,040
Speaker 1: they didn't know about my plans to go to the wedding,

1742
01:15:16,400 --> 01:15:18,200
Speaker 1: or at least which dates I would be gone for.

1743
01:15:18,479 --> 01:15:21,120
Speaker 1: And yes, changing plans should never have been a discussion.

1744
01:15:21,400 --> 01:15:23,479
Speaker 1: I think my parents were just asking me to cancel

1745
01:15:23,520 --> 01:15:25,559
Speaker 1: because they wanted me to meet some relatives who I

1746
01:15:25,560 --> 01:15:27,599
Speaker 1: haven't seen in ages or maybe ever.

1747
01:15:27,840 --> 01:15:29,639
Speaker 3: And that's when you say, like, yeah, but I already

1748
01:15:29,680 --> 01:15:31,559
Speaker 3: had these prior plans. Sorry, yeah, I gotta be there

1749
01:15:31,600 --> 01:15:32,519
Speaker 3: with my wife and my kid.

1750
01:15:32,760 --> 01:15:35,519
Speaker 1: Sorry, can't do it FaceTime me. Maybe I didn't impress

1751
01:15:35,600 --> 01:15:38,639
Speaker 1: upon them enough how important this was for my wife.

1752
01:15:38,680 --> 01:15:40,160
Speaker 1: And that is the end of the story. And you know,

1753
01:15:40,400 --> 01:15:43,760
Speaker 1: sometimes the Internet yelling at you, can I guess, cause

1754
01:15:43,840 --> 01:15:47,520
Speaker 1: you to snap back to reality, wake up to reality.

1755
01:15:47,760 --> 01:15:49,400
Speaker 3: Learned a lot in this story, man,