WEBVTT - Home Team 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:04.440 This is How Men Think with growthsl and Gavin to 0:00:04.559 --> 0:00:09.360 grab and I hear radio podcast. Welcome to another episode 0:00:09.440 --> 0:00:12.559 of How Men Think. My name is Brooks Like and 0:00:12.800 --> 0:00:15.960 this is the most unique episode we've ever done. I'm 0:00:16.000 --> 0:00:19.880 currently doing this from my home office here in Los Angeles, California. 0:00:20.160 --> 0:00:22.560 So I've got no Gavin with me. I've got no 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:25.440 Rick with me, I've got no Dmitri, I've got no Ryan. 0:00:25.880 --> 0:00:28.920 But we do have a very special guest with us today, 0:00:29.240 --> 0:00:32.040 somebody that's going to help you, guys, cope with the 0:00:32.080 --> 0:00:36.080 current situation of coronavirus coronavirus which we're all dealing with 0:00:36.120 --> 0:00:38.360 in this unique time. And we'll get to him in 0:00:38.360 --> 0:00:40.440 a second, but right now, I hope you are at 0:00:40.440 --> 0:00:44.239 home practicing your social distancing. I am here in our 0:00:44.240 --> 0:00:46.839 house in l a uh and the purpose of this 0:00:46.880 --> 0:00:50.920 show is we want to help ease this easier anxiety, 0:00:51.000 --> 0:00:54.360 easier stress, help improve the quality of your life during 0:00:54.880 --> 0:00:58.240 this once in a lifetime almost time that we're currently in. 0:00:58.600 --> 0:01:02.040 So we have if we're all going through these mental issues. 0:01:02.160 --> 0:01:05.280 I know there's a lot of economic issues and stress 0:01:05.319 --> 0:01:08.199 there as well, but there's a lot mentally that's going 0:01:08.200 --> 0:01:10.640 on with us right now. That's carrying weight for a 0:01:10.680 --> 0:01:12.720 lot of people. You have parents at home, you have 0:01:12.840 --> 0:01:15.520 kids at home, you have to cook, clean and and 0:01:15.640 --> 0:01:18.600 provide schooling, all these kinds of things. So there's a 0:01:18.640 --> 0:01:20.600 lot going on. There's a big discussion about people are 0:01:20.680 --> 0:01:23.320 very stressed out and very anxious in this time, and 0:01:23.400 --> 0:01:27.640 so we thought what better way to tackle that problem 0:01:27.760 --> 0:01:31.920 than to bring on a specialist, someone who deals and 0:01:31.959 --> 0:01:36.679 has dealt with the most uncertain of uncertain and stressful times, 0:01:36.720 --> 0:01:40.319 a former US Navy seal. And I want to welcome 0:01:40.400 --> 0:01:42.960 him to the show, Mr Pat the set. Pat, how 0:01:43.000 --> 0:01:46.640 are you, my friend doing? Doing great? Brother? Thank you Brooks. 0:01:46.680 --> 0:01:49.840 It's it's great to be here, excited to kind of 0:01:49.880 --> 0:01:52.800 talk to your audience, and I know it's it's interesting. 0:01:52.840 --> 0:01:56.160 We are really at a very kind of um stressful 0:01:56.200 --> 0:01:58.720 and a certain time I think for most of us 0:01:59.120 --> 0:02:01.520 on a global skin ailed this type of stress that's 0:02:01.520 --> 0:02:03.320 a little bit unbounded. We don't know how long it's 0:02:03.320 --> 0:02:05.960 gonna go on for. This is gonna be something that 0:02:05.960 --> 0:02:08.320 we're dealing for me, you know, for the next couple 0:02:08.360 --> 0:02:09.600 of weeks, for the next couple of months, or if 0:02:09.639 --> 0:02:11.400 this is going to be something that is going to 0:02:11.440 --> 0:02:14.160 fundamentally change how we interact with one another and how 0:02:14.200 --> 0:02:16.680 we go about our lives UH for the next several 0:02:16.720 --> 0:02:19.079 years or potentially and definitely, UM, it's kind of a 0:02:19.160 --> 0:02:22.120 unique time and so UM it's it's it's really nice 0:02:22.160 --> 0:02:23.680 to be here to be able to talk with UH 0:02:24.000 --> 0:02:26.600 with your audience about some early some of the principles 0:02:26.639 --> 0:02:29.240 and lessons learned that I took from my time in 0:02:29.280 --> 0:02:31.560 the team's UM and I think it's something that you know, 0:02:31.680 --> 0:02:33.840 most team guys would say, Hey, this is these are 0:02:34.160 --> 0:02:36.960 tried true principles that we leverage both in training and 0:02:37.000 --> 0:02:39.480 in operations overseas. So I'm just really excited to be 0:02:39.480 --> 0:02:42.440 here and kind of talk a little bit about that. Yeah, 0:02:42.480 --> 0:02:44.560 and I love that, And I'm a team guy. To 0:02:44.680 --> 0:02:47.799 being a professional hockey player, it was all about team 0:02:47.840 --> 0:02:50.880 and you guys take team to another level. And so 0:02:51.000 --> 0:02:53.480 I'm I first and foremost want to thank you for 0:02:53.560 --> 0:02:56.880 your service. I am a huge fan of every single 0:02:57.080 --> 0:03:00.639 service men and woman UM, and especially the cream of 0:03:00.680 --> 0:03:03.080 the Cross, the U. S. Navy Seals. I just I 0:03:03.120 --> 0:03:05.359 am over here just fan boying over you. Man. I 0:03:05.400 --> 0:03:08.919 wish I could shake your hand. I wish I would 0:03:08.919 --> 0:03:11.000 love to do this again sometime when I can actually 0:03:11.000 --> 0:03:14.040 meet meet you. We're doing this phone call over Skype 0:03:14.120 --> 0:03:17.160 right now. Um But one thing that I do know 0:03:18.000 --> 0:03:22.840 about being on a team is fundamentals are so important. 0:03:23.440 --> 0:03:27.640 They set the foundation for success. And so what I 0:03:27.680 --> 0:03:31.040 want is to dive into your story and as a U. S. 0:03:31.120 --> 0:03:34.160 Navy Seal, you deal with circumstances. I mean, I'm not 0:03:34.240 --> 0:03:36.040 gonna say that you deal I'll let you speak to 0:03:36.080 --> 0:03:39.680 it more. But you deal with the unpredictable circumstances as 0:03:39.760 --> 0:03:41.800 much as maybe anybody in the world. That's what you 0:03:41.880 --> 0:03:45.080 guys trained for. And so the world, everybody listening to 0:03:45.080 --> 0:03:49.320 this right now, is in an unpredictable circumstance of coronavirus. 0:03:49.720 --> 0:03:52.400 And I would love for you to sort of make 0:03:52.920 --> 0:03:57.080 this simple for our audience to lay a foundational layer 0:03:57.160 --> 0:03:59.920 of some things that we can do in our lives 0:04:00.520 --> 0:04:03.520 that can help us regain control and improve the quality 0:04:03.560 --> 0:04:07.200 of our lives. Um. So, as a as a Navy seal, 0:04:08.000 --> 0:04:10.800 what are some of the things that you want to 0:04:10.840 --> 0:04:13.880 direct our audience towards that are just gonna the low 0:04:13.960 --> 0:04:16.280 hanging fruit that are going to benefit them right out 0:04:16.320 --> 0:04:19.440 of the gate, right now, Yeah, I think it's it's 0:04:19.480 --> 0:04:22.080 a it's a great question, and I love the fact 0:04:22.080 --> 0:04:24.520 that you brought up and you stressed the point of 0:04:24.520 --> 0:04:26.360 being on a team, that you're a team guy. I think, 0:04:26.720 --> 0:04:28.839 you know, sometimes it gets lost in a little bit 0:04:28.839 --> 0:04:31.880 of a mythic narrative about about seals that, um, you know, 0:04:31.880 --> 0:04:34.880 whether you're watching movies in Hollywood or you're you're reading 0:04:35.240 --> 0:04:37.680 books that guys are written that, um, a lot of 0:04:37.680 --> 0:04:40.479 times the individuals get elevated. But I would say that, 0:04:40.800 --> 0:04:45.320 you know, one of the defining characteristics of being a 0:04:45.360 --> 0:04:48.560 seal is that, uh, it's team first. And it's always 0:04:48.560 --> 0:04:52.960 team first, whether we're on an operation, whether we're training, 0:04:53.360 --> 0:04:55.600 everything is is framed around the team so much so 0:04:55.720 --> 0:04:58.680 that when we talk about you know, when you hear 0:04:58.680 --> 0:05:00.799 a seal talk about another sea all you don't say 0:05:01.279 --> 0:05:03.320 that guy is really bigger, is really stronger, is a 0:05:03.360 --> 0:05:06.440 really great shot. You if someone is vouching for another seal, 0:05:06.600 --> 0:05:09.320 they say that he's a good team guy. And that 0:05:10.000 --> 0:05:13.240 is what are our community is all about. And I think, 0:05:13.480 --> 0:05:15.800 you know, we try to espouse and really live this 0:05:16.160 --> 0:05:19.039 this mindset and this ethos of being quiet professionals. And 0:05:19.080 --> 0:05:21.400 you elevate the team over the self. And I think 0:05:21.400 --> 0:05:23.640 it's it's an important thing to focus on now because 0:05:24.080 --> 0:05:27.320 one of the things that we rely on, and I 0:05:27.360 --> 0:05:30.039 think that individuals that are listening to this can rely on, 0:05:30.760 --> 0:05:34.159 is really under times of stress, um, when you feel 0:05:34.320 --> 0:05:37.520 especially now with social distancing and being isolated, when you 0:05:37.640 --> 0:05:42.080 feel that you are really um taking an undo load, 0:05:42.279 --> 0:05:45.840 or you're or you're having to endure something that um 0:05:46.200 --> 0:05:48.800 just as you stuck in your own kind of world 0:05:49.000 --> 0:05:51.240 and you're not able to break out of it. What 0:05:51.279 --> 0:05:53.440 we do is we focus on other people, right, And 0:05:53.480 --> 0:05:55.120 so when the when the pain and the suffering, when 0:05:55.160 --> 0:05:58.080 the misery reaches an extreme, or when the ambiguity reaches 0:05:58.080 --> 0:06:02.120 a place where we find ourselves uncomfortable, hard default is 0:06:02.160 --> 0:06:04.920 to focus on other people in the team. How can 0:06:05.000 --> 0:06:07.360 I serve their needs? How can I lift them up? 0:06:07.560 --> 0:06:09.920 Because by doing so, it not only gets me out 0:06:09.920 --> 0:06:12.599 of my head, it makes that person better and in 0:06:12.680 --> 0:06:15.440 turn they reflect that back onto me. And so, um, 0:06:15.480 --> 0:06:18.960 it's interesting. You know, one of and I'm sure your 0:06:18.960 --> 0:06:21.400 listeners all are all familiar with kind of seal training, 0:06:21.400 --> 0:06:23.640 and the first part of seal training really is is 0:06:23.720 --> 0:06:27.880 this program called Buds Basic Underwater Demolition School SO BUDS 0:06:27.960 --> 0:06:32.520 is approximately about seven months long UM, and around the 0:06:32.600 --> 0:06:35.520 seventh or eight week of BUDS you go through this 0:06:35.920 --> 0:06:37.920 you go through this week known as Hell Week, and 0:06:37.920 --> 0:06:40.520 so Hell Week, Uh, it's really kind of a crucible, 0:06:40.600 --> 0:06:44.360 defining event for this first part of seal training, and 0:06:44.360 --> 0:06:46.680 it's where we we lose most of the people that 0:06:46.760 --> 0:06:48.320 have decided, hey, they want to be seals and they 0:06:48.320 --> 0:06:50.520 want to commit to this training program. The training program, 0:06:50.520 --> 0:06:52.800 by the way, it's a volunteer program, so you may 0:06:52.880 --> 0:06:56.440 start with two people that start in a class. My 0:06:56.520 --> 0:06:59.680 particular class, we went into how week with around a 0:06:59.880 --> 0:07:03.359 d it in fifty people of the two twenty that 0:07:03.360 --> 0:07:05.440 started training, and then out of how Week we came 0:07:05.520 --> 0:07:08.440 we came out of Hell Week with thirty six UM. 0:07:08.480 --> 0:07:12.720 And Hell Week is you're you're awake, you're cold, you're wet, 0:07:12.880 --> 0:07:16.000 you're running everywhere with log carrying telephone poles, you've got 0:07:16.040 --> 0:07:18.640 a boat on your head. Uh. You don't sleep really 0:07:18.680 --> 0:07:21.360 for about five and a half days. There's a couple 0:07:21.360 --> 0:07:22.880 of hours of sleep that you get on the third 0:07:22.880 --> 0:07:24.800 of the fourth day, but it's broken up in the 0:07:24.880 --> 0:07:26.920 kind of thirty minute chunks and it's it's less about 0:07:26.960 --> 0:07:30.440 giving you an opportunity to recover. It's more about inducing stress, 0:07:31.200 --> 0:07:33.520 and it's more about inducing stress around waking you up 0:07:33.520 --> 0:07:36.000 and putting you back in the ocean. Um. But one 0:07:36.040 --> 0:07:38.000 thing that you know, I think it's interesting and it's 0:07:38.040 --> 0:07:40.480 it's it's kind of relevant here to this this kind 0:07:40.480 --> 0:07:43.280 of principle of focusing on others, is that one of 0:07:43.560 --> 0:07:46.320 the worst places to be during how week is running 0:07:46.360 --> 0:07:48.320 with this carrying this boat on your head. So you're 0:07:48.320 --> 0:07:51.320 broken up and the boat cruise of six people, um, 0:07:51.360 --> 0:07:53.760 and you run everywhere with this rubber boat on your head, 0:07:54.160 --> 0:07:56.880 and it's you know, the boat is probably a hundred 0:07:57.240 --> 0:07:59.520 hundred pounds, but sometimes it gets filled with sand or 0:07:59.520 --> 0:08:02.560 water and so it increases gets heavier as you go 0:08:02.640 --> 0:08:05.120 through the week. Um. But depending upon where you're out 0:08:05.120 --> 0:08:08.440 in the boat, if you're up front the it's it's 0:08:08.560 --> 0:08:11.640 not the number one position. It's really really stressful. You're 0:08:11.640 --> 0:08:14.920 taking a really a very big load and it's hard 0:08:14.920 --> 0:08:16.360 on your neck, it's hard on your head. The boat's 0:08:16.360 --> 0:08:18.680 bouncing around like a jackhammer. Here in the back of 0:08:18.680 --> 0:08:20.920 the boat, it's a little bit easier and um. But 0:08:21.000 --> 0:08:23.480 one of the things that that we that we focus 0:08:23.520 --> 0:08:25.160 on is when you're in the boat crew, it's really 0:08:25.400 --> 0:08:28.000 being mindful of how everyone is doing under the boat 0:08:28.240 --> 0:08:30.640 amidst the chaos and this boat bouncing and kind of 0:08:30.720 --> 0:08:34.520 racing from evolution evolution, How are people doing? How can 0:08:34.559 --> 0:08:37.480 I rotate? How can I take a strain when someone 0:08:37.480 --> 0:08:39.600 else may not be able to take a strain, And 0:08:39.760 --> 0:08:41.600 you know, just kind of that effect of being under 0:08:41.640 --> 0:08:44.200 the boat and that kind of pressure. It's not unlike 0:08:44.240 --> 0:08:47.160 what we're seeing with coronavirus today. Right, We're all in 0:08:47.640 --> 0:08:50.760 a stressful environment. We're all taking you know, loads, whether 0:08:50.880 --> 0:08:53.200 you know me personally, I'm working from home these days. 0:08:53.280 --> 0:08:56.120 I've got nine month old twins, my my wife is 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:59.040 at home, or nanny who comes a few days a 0:08:59.040 --> 0:09:02.160 week is being quarantine because she was exposed. And so 0:09:02.240 --> 0:09:04.880 we're really kind of our small apartment gets smaller by 0:09:04.920 --> 0:09:06.640 the day. We're all in the thick of this. Other 0:09:06.679 --> 0:09:11.120 people are experiencing similar situations um and the stress can 0:09:11.160 --> 0:09:13.760 put you in a place where you can start truly 0:09:13.840 --> 0:09:16.560 focusing on your own suffering, your own misery, and your 0:09:16.559 --> 0:09:19.120 own circumstance. And the best way to get out of 0:09:19.120 --> 0:09:21.000 that is really to be in action and in service 0:09:21.000 --> 0:09:24.000 to others. So can you can you do something for 0:09:24.040 --> 0:09:26.840 a neighbor, can you reach out to someone uh and 0:09:26.840 --> 0:09:28.720 and do a favor over the phone, or can you 0:09:29.160 --> 0:09:31.320 find small ways to get into action and get into 0:09:31.360 --> 0:09:34.240 service of others? For me personally, and I think most 0:09:34.240 --> 0:09:36.160 people that go through seal training would a test to 0:09:36.200 --> 0:09:39.360 the same fact that it's always easier if you're focused 0:09:39.360 --> 0:09:41.839 on others. So, um that that's kind of one thing 0:09:41.840 --> 0:09:43.600 that we lead onto it. I'll pause for if you 0:09:43.600 --> 0:09:46.400 have any questions or thought on that. Yeah, A man, 0:09:46.440 --> 0:09:49.480 I love it, um one. I just admire team people. 0:09:49.720 --> 0:09:55.120 I just I think the the collective purpose of the 0:09:55.160 --> 0:09:57.679 group is and just being part of something greater than 0:09:57.720 --> 0:10:01.720 yourself is so powerful. And so I love what you've 0:10:01.840 --> 0:10:03.839 that whole thing of what you said right there. And 0:10:03.920 --> 0:10:06.360 I also love how you said can I take a strain? 0:10:06.480 --> 0:10:08.679 Can I? I'm thinking about applying this to people at 0:10:08.720 --> 0:10:11.400 home right now, Like, say somebody is lifting a load 0:10:11.440 --> 0:10:14.840 that's really heavy at home. Maybe one parent is like 0:10:15.160 --> 0:10:17.680 schooling the kids and has been for the two weeks 0:10:17.720 --> 0:10:19.800 they've been at home, Like can the other parents suband 0:10:19.880 --> 0:10:22.320 or do you create something where um, like you said, 0:10:22.360 --> 0:10:25.480 the rotation under the boat where somebody carries the heavier 0:10:25.520 --> 0:10:27.280 load at the front and then has to rotate to 0:10:27.320 --> 0:10:31.120 the back enlighten the load. UM. I want people at 0:10:31.200 --> 0:10:35.400 this time to think creatively also on how they can 0:10:35.400 --> 0:10:38.880 help and how they can serve. So just because just 0:10:39.040 --> 0:10:41.520 it's eerie. Man. Then the other day, Pat, I went 0:10:41.520 --> 0:10:44.080 to the grocery store, and it's just an eerie feeling 0:10:44.160 --> 0:10:49.679 of like people wanting for themselves and they've now had 0:10:49.720 --> 0:10:52.960 to implement UM rules at grocery stores. You can only 0:10:53.000 --> 0:10:56.440 get two eggs, you can only get two milks, this 0:10:56.520 --> 0:10:59.880 kind of stuff. Um, there's a really eerie feeling that 0:11:00.000 --> 0:11:02.240 they got a people just wanting for themselves and have 0:11:02.360 --> 0:11:05.160 tried to encourage people and still digitally on my platform 0:11:05.240 --> 0:11:08.560 and using this podcast, there's still ways that you can 0:11:08.640 --> 0:11:12.480 help and impact and serve people. UM, people within your 0:11:12.480 --> 0:11:15.120 own home, but still outside of that, and I just 0:11:15.200 --> 0:11:17.720 love I just want to dive more into that team, 0:11:17.760 --> 0:11:21.600 that team and ship, that partnership, UM, and how maybe 0:11:21.720 --> 0:11:24.439 couples at home, maybe a husband and wife, how they 0:11:24.480 --> 0:11:27.080 can sort of rotate in and out of duties or 0:11:27.080 --> 0:11:30.800 anything like that that you can give to our audience. UM, 0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:33.800 to help make the burden at home lighter and actually 0:11:34.280 --> 0:11:40.800 more enjoyable. Yeah, I love that you're you're talking about 0:11:40.840 --> 0:11:42.320 being in the in the grocery store and kind of 0:11:42.320 --> 0:11:44.920 experiencing that. I live in Los Angeles as well, and 0:11:45.240 --> 0:11:47.800 I've noticed it over the last couple of weeks. Um, 0:11:47.920 --> 0:11:50.079 you go, if it's you know, you going to the 0:11:50.080 --> 0:11:52.200 farmer's market, or you're in a grocery store, you're even 0:11:52.200 --> 0:11:55.880 you're just out walking, there's this heightened sense of anxiety 0:11:56.120 --> 0:11:59.520 and stress. You can just it's it's palpable, and I 0:11:59.559 --> 0:12:02.600 think it speaks to the fact that people, most people 0:12:02.720 --> 0:12:06.920 aren't used to being in a test of this nature. Right. Typically, 0:12:06.960 --> 0:12:10.040 when we take a test, um, it's bounded. We know, okay, 0:12:10.360 --> 0:12:12.920 these are this is what I'm going to be measured against. 0:12:13.000 --> 0:12:14.960 This is how I perform on this test. I've prepared 0:12:15.040 --> 0:12:17.560 for it, and it's an hour long, or it's over 0:12:17.600 --> 0:12:19.960 the course of a game over, it's over the course 0:12:20.000 --> 0:12:23.400 of this particular business meeting. We're used to these bounded 0:12:23.480 --> 0:12:26.079 kind of testing experiences, but it's a little bit of 0:12:26.120 --> 0:12:28.760 an unnerving circumstance for people to be in a situation 0:12:28.800 --> 0:12:32.840 where there's so much ambiguity and and you don't really 0:12:32.920 --> 0:12:35.040 have a sense of like, wow, how can I control this? 0:12:35.120 --> 0:12:38.360 And so people default to well, you know, almost like 0:12:38.400 --> 0:12:40.400 this primal nature of where, all right, I've got to 0:12:40.440 --> 0:12:42.880 get grab everything I can, even if that means I 0:12:42.960 --> 0:12:45.080 bring home. If you roll with the toilet paper, I 0:12:45.080 --> 0:12:47.560 don't know. I can't eat toilet paper, but it's the 0:12:47.559 --> 0:12:49.000 thing that I can do. So I'm gonna grab much 0:12:49.040 --> 0:12:51.760 of toilet paper where I'm gonna you know, it's it's 0:12:51.800 --> 0:12:55.400 funny to see. It's not funny, it's it's interesting to 0:12:55.440 --> 0:12:58.520 see people react to stress in different ways, right because 0:12:58.840 --> 0:13:02.439 the stress that I felt under the boat or overseas 0:13:02.960 --> 0:13:06.160 physiologically is no different than the stress people are feeling now, 0:13:06.679 --> 0:13:10.400 um stuck at home rate, you know, homeschooling kids, trying 0:13:10.400 --> 0:13:12.800 to trade off duties support their spouse. It's no different 0:13:12.840 --> 0:13:15.720 than you know, people in the grocery store that feel like, oh, 0:13:15.760 --> 0:13:18.000 I need to gather everything I can so that I 0:13:18.040 --> 0:13:20.760 could potentially hunker down and isolate for the for the 0:13:20.760 --> 0:13:23.840 next few weeks. So I just, you know, and it's 0:13:24.240 --> 0:13:27.600 it's important to recognize that, hey, you have to you know, 0:13:27.840 --> 0:13:30.800 I understand what teams you're a part of and and 0:13:30.880 --> 0:13:32.880 think about how you can serve them past. Right, And 0:13:32.920 --> 0:13:36.040 so if that team is your most immediate team, is 0:13:36.080 --> 0:13:39.480 your spouse, your partner, your immediate family, how can you 0:13:39.520 --> 0:13:42.600 be in service to them? Right? If you're if you 0:13:42.679 --> 0:13:45.160 if you start opening the aperture, opening the rings out. Well, 0:13:45.400 --> 0:13:47.560 the next kind of team that I'm on is actually 0:13:47.559 --> 0:13:50.440 the apartment building I live. And there's a woman Dolores, 0:13:50.440 --> 0:13:52.600 who is eighty three years old that's lived here for 0:13:52.640 --> 0:13:56.440 thirty years, and um, she's a part of my team. Right. 0:13:56.440 --> 0:13:58.400 What can I do for Dolores and reach out to 0:13:58.440 --> 0:14:01.439 her and offer some form of service to let her 0:14:01.480 --> 0:14:03.600 know that, hey, she is on my team, even if 0:14:03.640 --> 0:14:05.679 she doesn't realize that, I'm letting her know you're on 0:14:05.679 --> 0:14:08.000 my team. Or when I'm walking to the market or 0:14:08.000 --> 0:14:11.400 I'm in the grocery store, even little things like making 0:14:11.440 --> 0:14:15.000 eye contact and smiling to people and greeting them and 0:14:15.040 --> 0:14:18.920 saying hello and just those little those little moments of 0:14:18.960 --> 0:14:22.480 connection and calm that you can insert into someone's life, 0:14:22.840 --> 0:14:25.560 um is a service and is as a way of 0:14:25.640 --> 0:14:27.240 letting them know, Hey, we're on the same team and 0:14:27.240 --> 0:14:30.360 we're in this together, and this is you know, how 0:14:30.360 --> 0:14:32.400 we should move through this effectively. It was interesting. I 0:14:32.440 --> 0:14:34.320 was at the Sorry not to go on a tangent, 0:14:34.360 --> 0:14:36.520 but I was at the farmer's market. Um a couple 0:14:36.560 --> 0:14:38.320 of days ago. My wife sent me on a run 0:14:38.440 --> 0:14:41.680 to grab some food for our nine month olds. And 0:14:41.720 --> 0:14:43.960 we're standing in line for eggs and there was a 0:14:44.000 --> 0:14:46.280 woman in front of me. And they're really strict right 0:14:46.280 --> 0:14:48.160 now at the farmer's market. They have chalk lines every 0:14:48.200 --> 0:14:50.880 six feet and they want people to maintain their distance. 0:14:50.960 --> 0:14:52.920 And the woman in front of me was, you know, 0:14:53.040 --> 0:14:54.840 on her chalkol line. I was on my chalk line, 0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:56.440 but the woman in front of her was a little 0:14:56.440 --> 0:14:59.160 bit older. She was on her chalk line, but she 0:14:59.320 --> 0:15:02.320 was you just tell she was specially stressed. And she 0:15:02.400 --> 0:15:04.720 kept yelling at the woman in front of me, saying, hey, 0:15:04.720 --> 0:15:07.080 get away, you keep your distance, stay away from me. 0:15:07.720 --> 0:15:11.400 And she was clear like she in her mind she 0:15:11.520 --> 0:15:13.480 was in the thick of an immediate fight. There was 0:15:13.480 --> 0:15:15.960 a clear and present danger and she was trying to 0:15:16.040 --> 0:15:18.800 do what do what she could do to control the situation. Now, 0:15:18.800 --> 0:15:21.400 the woman next to me that was that was receiving 0:15:21.440 --> 0:15:23.480 these kind of comments from this woman took it in 0:15:23.520 --> 0:15:25.480 a way that said, like who is who are you? 0:15:25.480 --> 0:15:27.880 You're being irrational and crazy and like I'm standing on 0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:30.080 my chalk line. You're standing on your chalk line. And 0:15:30.440 --> 0:15:32.120 she kind of reacted in this a little bit of 0:15:32.120 --> 0:15:34.280 a defensive way. And what I told her was, I said, 0:15:34.400 --> 0:15:37.320 I said, hey, listen, like that woman, that's that's that's 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:41.040 saying this to you. She is under a threat and 0:15:41.120 --> 0:15:42.920 she has to live with that, right, and so let's 0:15:42.960 --> 0:15:44.680 figure out way that we can make her feel better, 0:15:44.720 --> 0:15:46.760 because it's gonna make everyone feel better. So we all 0:15:46.800 --> 0:15:49.480 moved back a chalk line, gave her some spade. Again. 0:15:49.640 --> 0:15:53.600 It's a small thing, uh, And service and serving the 0:15:53.600 --> 0:15:56.360 teams and serving the communities doesn't have to take these 0:15:56.400 --> 0:15:59.160 really big things. They can come in small moments, and 0:15:59.160 --> 0:16:02.400 these small moments, these small interactions add up and they 0:16:02.400 --> 0:16:04.640 make a big difference. And to bring it back to 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:07.200 your original question, I was, you know, my wife and 0:16:07.240 --> 0:16:10.760 I again in a small place with raising kind of 0:16:10.840 --> 0:16:14.320 young girls, and uh, there's just a heightened level of 0:16:14.320 --> 0:16:16.320 stress even in our place. And I feel like we're 0:16:16.360 --> 0:16:20.640 pretty we have a pretty good um team, and we 0:16:20.640 --> 0:16:24.040 we respond pretty well to stress, and we're really good communicators. 0:16:24.200 --> 0:16:27.680 But even still, I can sense when my wife is 0:16:27.680 --> 0:16:29.720 at the breaking point, and I can do a little 0:16:29.720 --> 0:16:32.000 thing like I can I can tell the meeting that 0:16:32.080 --> 0:16:34.440 the team if I'm on with work, I say, hey, 0:16:34.480 --> 0:16:36.320 give me two minutes. I'm gonna be right back, And 0:16:36.360 --> 0:16:38.440 I can walk over my wife and say hey, honey, 0:16:38.640 --> 0:16:40.880 just go walk up or go for a walk around 0:16:40.880 --> 0:16:42.960 the block, like I got this for these next two minutes. 0:16:43.160 --> 0:16:46.000 And she knows that, hey, I have stress and eye 0:16:46.000 --> 0:16:49.080 requirements for work that I can't just totally cut off. 0:16:49.120 --> 0:16:51.880 I have to continue to service those things. But even 0:16:52.000 --> 0:16:56.160 a little a little act like that to her lets 0:16:56.160 --> 0:16:58.760 her know that like, oh yeah, my teammate's got my 0:16:58.840 --> 0:17:02.400 back and he's what he can with with you know, 0:17:02.480 --> 0:17:04.280 the time and the space that he has, And a 0:17:04.320 --> 0:17:05.639 little thing like that, she can go out for a 0:17:05.720 --> 0:17:07.800 quick walk, come back and like she's energy and she 0:17:07.880 --> 0:17:11.680 feels better. And the crazy thing is like I feel better, 0:17:11.720 --> 0:17:14.040 Like I feel more resilient because like, oh, I did 0:17:14.040 --> 0:17:15.800 a small thing of service, even though it's, you know, 0:17:16.040 --> 0:17:20.200 seemingly inconsequential, it makes a big difference. Um so big time, 0:17:21.720 --> 0:17:25.040 big time, Like any sort of giving energetically you just 0:17:25.080 --> 0:17:28.639 received tenfold, just the energy of a give you know. 0:17:28.760 --> 0:17:31.000 So I love that. I also love what you touched on. 0:17:31.440 --> 0:17:35.320 You said, um, pat that people are really nervous and 0:17:35.320 --> 0:17:37.399 anxious and stressed out, Like how do I control this? 0:17:37.520 --> 0:17:41.359 Like this is so unpredictable. Is it gonna be two weeks? 0:17:41.440 --> 0:17:43.679 Is it gonna be two months? You know? Is it 0:17:43.720 --> 0:17:53.240 gonna be six months? We have no idea. I love 0:17:53.280 --> 0:17:56.080 what you've done. You've created this program called made for. 0:17:56.240 --> 0:17:58.800 I want to touch on that now. Made for it's 0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:04.000 a ten month program that lies the principles of modern neuroscience, psychology, physiology, UM, 0:18:04.080 --> 0:18:06.359 to help make your brain and body better. But you 0:18:06.400 --> 0:18:10.760 guys do it through the importance of focusing on simple 0:18:11.080 --> 0:18:15.920 things that can drastically help you gain control in your life. So, UM, 0:18:15.960 --> 0:18:18.560 I want you to walk us through what those simple 0:18:18.720 --> 0:18:21.879 things are made for because if we hear that, like 0:18:21.920 --> 0:18:23.879 we're all going through stress, We're all going to the 0:18:23.960 --> 0:18:26.800 lady you spoke of at the farmer's market, Like everybody's 0:18:26.920 --> 0:18:31.400 under this stress and some it's affecting people more than others. Um, 0:18:31.440 --> 0:18:35.600 but what are some of the baseline things, the fundamental 0:18:36.320 --> 0:18:41.800 basic things that everybody anybody listening to this can start 0:18:41.840 --> 0:18:44.520 and applying in their homes, say, say, things are getting 0:18:44.560 --> 0:18:48.400 really wildly out of control, They're really stress, they're really anxious. 0:18:48.480 --> 0:18:50.720 How can we help calm those people down and help 0:18:50.760 --> 0:18:53.240 them gain control of their life again? What are some 0:18:53.320 --> 0:18:56.080 simple things to do that? Yeah, it's it's a it's 0:18:56.080 --> 0:18:58.879 a great question, and I'll talk about made for a 0:18:58.920 --> 0:19:03.040 little bit, but for there are Our lead scientific advisor 0:19:03.200 --> 0:19:06.680 is a gentleman named Andrew Huberman UM. He runs the 0:19:06.800 --> 0:19:11.480 Huberman Lab out of Stanford Universities and neuroscientists and in 0:19:11.560 --> 0:19:14.000 addition to being our our lead advisor, he's a he's 0:19:14.040 --> 0:19:17.560 a close friend and um and kind of thought partner 0:19:17.560 --> 0:19:20.040 in a lot of what we're doing and just in 0:19:20.080 --> 0:19:23.080 general kind of on kind of the work that we do. 0:19:23.560 --> 0:19:26.359 Andrew and I we talk a lot about this, like 0:19:26.560 --> 0:19:30.199 what what can you do when you're under stress and 0:19:30.240 --> 0:19:33.920 you feel like you're losing control? And it's interesting the 0:19:33.920 --> 0:19:37.840 there's there's definitely some overlap in what I draw on 0:19:37.920 --> 0:19:40.400 from my experience in the teams in terms of what 0:19:40.480 --> 0:19:43.480 we do when when stress starts to become a little 0:19:43.480 --> 0:19:46.159 bit overwhelming and we feel like we're we're losing control 0:19:46.160 --> 0:19:49.040