WEBVTT - Amy’s Latest Premenopausal Moments & A Perspective on Eating Disorders 0:00:00.960 --> 0:00:02.920 The best bits of the week with Morgan. 0:00:03.040 --> 0:00:04.600 It's listener Q and daytime. 0:00:04.840 --> 0:00:07.960 We're Morgan in a show member answer almost all your questions. 0:00:09.840 --> 0:00:13.840 It is time for some listener questions and Amy answers. 0:00:13.880 --> 0:00:14.800 Are you ready, Amy? 0:00:15.040 --> 0:00:16.000 Yes? Okay. 0:00:16.040 --> 0:00:18.639 We got shout outs to start. Love y'all on the show, 0:00:18.640 --> 0:00:20.840 and love both of your podcasts. Y'all are crushing it. 0:00:20.880 --> 0:00:24.480 That is from Kate in Arizona. Thanks Kate, super sweet. 0:00:24.800 --> 0:00:27.120 Shout out love you girlies. You both bring such good 0:00:27.240 --> 0:00:29.640 energy to the show. This is from Leah and Pennsylvania, 0:00:30.560 --> 0:00:32.400 two of the prettiest girls. It's from Dana. 0:00:32.520 --> 0:00:33.720 Oh, thanks very sweet. 0:00:33.960 --> 0:00:36.520 You both are my favorites. It's from Huddo in Texas. 0:00:36.880 --> 0:00:38.960 And then Carla from Kansas hopes to meet both of 0:00:39.040 --> 0:00:41.200 us on the Bobby Bone Show cruise, which I think 0:00:41.280 --> 0:00:42.200 will probably happen. 0:00:42.880 --> 0:00:44.080 Yeah, we're gonna meet everybody. 0:00:44.159 --> 0:00:47.960 We're gonna be walking around everywhere, so definitely can happen. Carla, 0:00:48.040 --> 0:00:51.120 all right, first question Michelle and Texas, what are your 0:00:51.200 --> 0:00:53.160 upcoming holiday plans? 0:00:53.960 --> 0:00:56.200 I don't know yet. I mean Thanksgiving I will be. 0:00:57.760 --> 0:01:00.960 Home and we'll in Nashville with the kids and doing 0:01:01.200 --> 0:01:06.120 Thanksgiving with my boyfriend and his family, so we'll be 0:01:06.319 --> 0:01:09.200 with then they have like lots of people. So he's 0:01:09.200 --> 0:01:11.440 from Nashville, so there's lots of people involved. And then 0:01:11.440 --> 0:01:15.800 he always celebrates it with his wife's she's his I 0:01:15.840 --> 0:01:18.720 mean she passed away, so still his wife, but her 0:01:19.120 --> 0:01:21.759 family too, Okay, so they cut her. 0:01:22.080 --> 0:01:22.959 She has a transister. 0:01:23.680 --> 0:01:27.400 Yeah, last year they all came over to his dad's house, 0:01:27.520 --> 0:01:28.880 but this year he's like, I think I want to 0:01:28.920 --> 0:01:30.920 do it at my house. So and he lives like 0:01:32.120 --> 0:01:33.800 right around the corner from his dad, So I don't 0:01:33.840 --> 0:01:36.760 know it. Who knows where we'll end up. I'm not 0:01:36.800 --> 0:01:38.520 too worried about it. I'm trying to get my sister 0:01:38.760 --> 0:01:40.600 and her family to come, and then it would just 0:01:40.640 --> 0:01:43.600 be this huge party that would be so fun. 0:01:43.640 --> 0:01:44.520 Oh that would be fun. 0:01:45.080 --> 0:01:47.080 Yeah, we'll see if that actually happens. And then Christmas, 0:01:47.120 --> 0:01:49.240 I have no idea. I got to figure that out, 0:01:49.360 --> 0:01:52.360 just winging it right normally Colorado, but I don't know. 0:01:52.400 --> 0:01:53.960 I got to figure it out with my kids, like 0:01:53.960 --> 0:01:56.720 what they want to do, and then talk to Ben 0:01:57.000 --> 0:02:00.760 see because he'll like Christmas s takeris this is two weeks, 0:02:00.760 --> 0:02:02.440 Like he'll have them one week and I have them 0:02:02.480 --> 0:02:04.720 the other and normally we swap in Colorado at least 0:02:04.760 --> 0:02:07.200 we have the last couple of years, and this year, 0:02:07.240 --> 0:02:08.560 I don't know if he's for sure going to go, 0:02:08.680 --> 0:02:10.880 so then we kind of need to coordinate that. 0:02:11.080 --> 0:02:13.720 I have a lot more plans. And this year, will 0:02:13.720 --> 0:02:16.200 you potentially spend Christmas at all with your boyfriend and 0:02:16.240 --> 0:02:16.840 his family? 0:02:17.520 --> 0:02:19.760 Well, I don't have Since I have the kids for Thanksgiving, 0:02:19.840 --> 0:02:21.799 I don't have them for Christmas Day, so I don't 0:02:21.840 --> 0:02:24.600 know where I'm going to be. It depends if all 0:02:25.440 --> 0:02:28.440 stay in Nashville, maybe celebrate with them Christmas Day, and 0:02:28.480 --> 0:02:31.480 then fly to Colorado maybe the next. 0:02:31.360 --> 0:02:34.000 Day, okay, or so I don't know. I got a 0:02:34.040 --> 0:02:36.920 look at the calendar and figure it out. Yeah, uh yeah. 0:02:36.919 --> 0:02:39.400 We will also be here for Thanksgiving. My whole family's 0:02:39.440 --> 0:02:43.400 coming to town and then and my boyfriend's family. We 0:02:43.480 --> 0:02:46.720 got lots of people coming for Thanksgiving and then Christmas. 0:02:46.760 --> 0:02:48.680 The boyfriend will be coming with me to Kansas for 0:02:48.680 --> 0:02:52.760 the first TiO, so I'm very exciting. We'll spend Christmas 0:02:52.800 --> 0:02:54.960 in New Year's there probably. I'm not a huge New 0:02:55.000 --> 0:02:55.840 Year's person. 0:02:55.720 --> 0:02:56.440 So me neither. 0:02:56.480 --> 0:02:58.680 I don't really have a desire to be anywhere specific. 0:02:58.760 --> 0:03:01.120 As long as I'm with him and people that I like, 0:03:01.200 --> 0:03:01.680 I'm good. 0:03:01.800 --> 0:03:02.000 Yeah. 0:03:02.080 --> 0:03:05.120 So that's the loose plan so far. But I do 0:03:05.200 --> 0:03:08.440 not have as many moving gears as you do, so 0:03:08.480 --> 0:03:09.120 that's a little. 0:03:08.960 --> 0:03:11.440 Bit more lots of different moving parts. 0:03:11.760 --> 0:03:16.240 Are you still doing Pimp and Joy shirts? Brittany in Ohio? 0:03:16.720 --> 0:03:20.880 There will be some for the Saint Jude radiothon. So 0:03:21.000 --> 0:03:24.960 if you become a partner in Hope, which that's normally 0:03:25.040 --> 0:03:29.000 in December, there's like a Camo shirt that says Pimp 0:03:29.000 --> 0:03:30.280 and Joy that people will get. 0:03:30.680 --> 0:03:33.680 Okay, so new one coming for the same Jude. 0:03:33.760 --> 0:03:34.239 Yeah. 0:03:34.360 --> 0:03:38.840 Nice, Okay. How do you enjoy your kitchen after the remodel? 0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:43.800 That's from Campbell? Campbell camp. I could never say that name. 0:03:43.840 --> 0:03:44.760 How do you say that name? 0:03:44.920 --> 0:03:45.320 Campbell? 0:03:45.800 --> 0:03:46.240 Yeah? 0:03:46.560 --> 0:03:48.400 I always want to say Campbell. 0:03:48.120 --> 0:03:50.320 Like it because it's two words Campbell. 0:03:50.720 --> 0:03:51.360 Uh. 0:03:51.440 --> 0:03:52.000 I love it. 0:03:52.080 --> 0:03:54.160 I mean I didn't spend much time in the kitchen 0:03:54.160 --> 0:03:58.520 when I bought the house, so but yes, I'm very 0:03:58.680 --> 0:04:02.720 glad we red it. Like it's awesome. I feel like 0:04:02.760 --> 0:04:05.160 I definitely have My last three kitchens have had all 0:04:05.160 --> 0:04:09.280 white countertops and like a dark dark dark blue, you know, 0:04:09.440 --> 0:04:13.160 most black looking cabinet, and someone pointed that out to me. 0:04:13.600 --> 0:04:14.560 You did my last. 0:04:14.400 --> 0:04:18.599 Three houses, well, the my house, our house in East 0:04:18.680 --> 0:04:21.200 Nashville that I had with Ben before we moved. One 0:04:21.240 --> 0:04:26.600 other time it came that way, darker cabinets almost like 0:04:27.000 --> 0:04:29.040 I think the color I used is iron ore, So 0:04:29.080 --> 0:04:32.040 that was probably the one out there too, But the 0:04:32.080 --> 0:04:34.760 builder had done it so or the person that renovated 0:04:34.760 --> 0:04:38.159 the house, and so it was iron ore on the 0:04:38.200 --> 0:04:43.839 countertops and like a white courts or marble looking type thing. 0:04:44.440 --> 0:04:47.719 And then we moved in twenty twenty to a different 0:04:47.760 --> 0:04:53.120 house and it had like iron ore cabinets with and 0:04:53.160 --> 0:04:55.120 then I ended up putting in it didn't have Oh 0:04:55.200 --> 0:04:56.920 actually no, it didn't have that. I painted it. 0:04:56.960 --> 0:04:58.760 I was like, oh, I loved my last kitchen so. 0:04:58.760 --> 0:05:01.360 Much so that I sort of I switched that the 0:05:01.400 --> 0:05:04.479 cabinets and the countertops to that. And then when I 0:05:04.560 --> 0:05:07.479 moved after the divorce and I moved again, I did 0:05:07.480 --> 0:05:10.680 the same thing. So you like that kitchen vibe, yes, 0:05:10.839 --> 0:05:13.360 I guess I do. And I think that's a bad thing. Yeah, 0:05:13.440 --> 0:05:15.560 it can be comforting for you and you spend a 0:05:15.600 --> 0:05:17.520 lot of time in a kitchen. Yeah, I love that 0:05:17.560 --> 0:05:20.840 color iron ore. By the way, is it more charcoal 0:05:20.960 --> 0:05:21.800 or is it. 0:05:21.480 --> 0:05:22.880 It can it depends on the light. 0:05:23.279 --> 0:05:26.800 It can look sort of charcoally, and then you in 0:05:26.880 --> 0:05:28.600 the light you're like, oh, okay, I see like hints 0:05:28.640 --> 0:05:29.039 of navy. 0:05:29.480 --> 0:05:33.120 Okay, I like that color. And so do you find yourself? 0:05:33.200 --> 0:05:35.880 I feel like whenever I do something new at the house, 0:05:35.960 --> 0:05:38.160 like I mentioned on part one, how we got our 0:05:38.400 --> 0:05:41.160 the deck screened in, and now I spend all the 0:05:41.440 --> 0:05:43.200 kinds of time out there because we had just done it. 0:05:43.200 --> 0:05:44.800 Oh yeah, you feel the perfect time of year. 0:05:45.120 --> 0:05:47.239 Yes, But do you feel like you spend more time 0:05:47.440 --> 0:05:49.960 in the areas that you remodeled? Like, do you spend 0:05:49.960 --> 0:05:52.080 more time in the kitchen because now it's all new 0:05:52.120 --> 0:05:52.799 and shine? 0:05:52.880 --> 0:05:54.400 Yeah. We tend to hang out more in the kitchen 0:05:54.440 --> 0:05:56.800 and the living room. This house, though, when we I 0:05:57.360 --> 0:05:58.320 did every part of the. 0:05:58.279 --> 0:06:00.680 House models all of it. 0:06:01.600 --> 0:06:04.400 Wow, I mean I remember you were doing a lot 0:06:04.440 --> 0:06:06.719 of things, but I thought it was more out of necessity. 0:06:06.720 --> 0:06:09.159 I didn't realize you were kind of re redoing some 0:06:09.279 --> 0:06:12.320 of it. Yeah, I mean it wasn't. But we did 0:06:12.440 --> 0:06:18.120 every bathroom and I put hardwoods in everywhere. Yeah, this 0:06:18.240 --> 0:06:20.200 is I had workers in my house for months and 0:06:20.200 --> 0:06:22.680 months and months like but all done now, all done now, 0:06:22.720 --> 0:06:25.240 thank goodness. It felt like it took a long time. 0:06:27.279 --> 0:06:28.680 Do you know. I just got used to coming from 0:06:28.680 --> 0:06:31.960 work and like there always being people there. They're like, hey, 0:06:32.640 --> 0:06:35.600 y'all want to eat like I was feeding then like yeah, 0:06:35.880 --> 0:06:39.839 kids got to know them. But yeah, no, and I 0:06:39.880 --> 0:06:42.520 mean some of it we delayed a little bit, like 0:06:44.279 --> 0:06:46.960 some final pieces, but yeah, pretty much it. 0:06:46.960 --> 0:06:49.600 Was so now you just like to hang out everywhere? 0:06:50.360 --> 0:06:54.680 Bathroom, Yes, my downstairs guest bath is my favorite. 0:06:55.320 --> 0:06:56.040 So do you go hang out? 0:06:56.080 --> 0:06:58.800 And there's some times yes, it's a little teeny tiny 0:06:59.000 --> 0:07:00.920 guest bathroom and it's my favorite room. 0:07:02.040 --> 0:07:06.000 See I love that. Can you please share your eyelash routine? 0:07:06.000 --> 0:07:07.480 This is from Drew and Louisiana. 0:07:07.600 --> 0:07:12.480 Oh I get eyelash extensions, so that doesn't help. But 0:07:12.520 --> 0:07:15.200 I do go to Amy at Lash. I don't know 0:07:15.200 --> 0:07:17.040 if it's called it's just called Lash, but it's in 0:07:17.120 --> 0:07:20.600 Nashville and Amy is the owner and I've gone to 0:07:20.600 --> 0:07:24.119 her for oh my gosh, maybe nine years now. 0:07:24.520 --> 0:07:26.360 It's funny every time you say that, I always think 0:07:26.360 --> 0:07:30.000 it's you and you just have a secret eyelash side business. 0:07:30.120 --> 0:07:31.960 No, it's not me. That would be hard to do 0:07:32.040 --> 0:07:34.840 it with my close bet. She is the best. 0:07:36.280 --> 0:07:40.880 I love her style because it's still it's not over 0:07:40.920 --> 0:07:44.280 the top. I've thought about taking them off quite kind 0:07:44.280 --> 0:07:48.200 of recently, but then I would miss my time with Amy. Obviously, 0:07:48.240 --> 0:07:50.800 after nine years, she's become my friend and I love 0:07:50.840 --> 0:07:53.400 our hour together. I feel like you could also hang 0:07:53.400 --> 0:07:55.080 out with her, and I know, I know, but we 0:07:55.200 --> 0:07:57.040 try to get together, like go on walks and stuff, 0:07:57.040 --> 0:07:59.320 and just like coordinating everybody's schedule, it's more difficult. So 0:07:59.360 --> 0:08:01.440 I'm like, well, and it's sort of part of my routine. 0:08:01.880 --> 0:08:05.440 But I have thought about it does make it easy, 0:08:05.520 --> 0:08:07.760 like especially as early as we get up, and that's 0:08:07.800 --> 0:08:10.920 one reason why it was a no brainer. I actually 0:08:11.000 --> 0:08:13.000 didn't want to get them because I had gotten them 0:08:13.000 --> 0:08:15.760 before in Austin and they were horrible whoever I went to, 0:08:15.880 --> 0:08:18.200 I mean, they were so bad. I was like plucking 0:08:18.240 --> 0:08:22.160 them out because I looked ridiculous. They were so long, 0:08:22.360 --> 0:08:25.920 and I remember my mom was still alive, yeah, because 0:08:25.920 --> 0:08:29.080 we were living in Austin, and I remember being at 0:08:29.080 --> 0:08:30.880 my mom's house in her bathroom, in her magnifying me 0:08:31.000 --> 0:08:33.400 or like plucking out my lashes. I was like, well, 0:08:33.440 --> 0:08:36.360 this can't be good. And then I got those removed 0:08:36.400 --> 0:08:38.240 and I said never again. And then we moved to 0:08:38.320 --> 0:08:41.240 Nashville and I wasn't doing them. And then my hair 0:08:41.280 --> 0:08:43.840 person said, hey, if you ever want to get your 0:08:43.920 --> 0:08:46.600 lashes done, you should go see Amy. She told me 0:08:46.640 --> 0:08:48.080 to tell you, like, hey, if you wanted to come in, 0:08:48.120 --> 0:08:50.960 I mean, I'm a paying customer or whatever, but just 0:08:51.800 --> 0:08:55.520 you know, she's hard to get into. And now I 0:08:55.520 --> 0:08:57.120 think her books are a little bit more open. But 0:08:57.559 --> 0:08:59.560 she had a wait list or whatever. She's like, ch'll 0:09:00.760 --> 0:09:02.560 she has an opening, like if you want to go, 0:09:03.440 --> 0:09:06.760 And I thought, no, I'm really not into it. And 0:09:06.800 --> 0:09:08.400 I a few more months went by and then we 0:09:08.440 --> 0:09:10.280 talked about it again and she was able to get 0:09:10.280 --> 0:09:12.000 me in and I decided to go, and I've. 0:09:11.840 --> 0:09:12.679 Been going ever since. 0:09:13.760 --> 0:09:17.360 So don't let one bad experience on something completely rule out. 0:09:18.160 --> 0:09:20.360 You know, it could be lashes, could be something else, 0:09:20.520 --> 0:09:24.040 but like with a massages, yes, Abby, and I went 0:09:24.040 --> 0:09:26.440 and got a good massage. And now now she knows 0:09:26.960 --> 0:09:29.679 there are quality messuses out there. 0:09:30.120 --> 0:09:33.319 And not just creeping in. They've grown, Yes, yes, very much. 0:09:33.360 --> 0:09:35.079 So Okay, We're gonna take a quick break and we'll 0:09:35.120 --> 0:09:43.440 be right back. How does bean pre menopausal affect you mentally, emotionally, physically. 0:09:43.480 --> 0:09:44.320 This is from Liza. 0:09:45.280 --> 0:09:47.199 Oh, let's see. I get. 0:09:48.640 --> 0:09:54.560 Emotional and irrational at times. My sleep is disrupted at times. 0:09:54.679 --> 0:09:58.520 I have some night sweats, but not all the time. 0:09:58.720 --> 0:10:00.480 You never know, like really when and it's going to 0:10:00.520 --> 0:10:05.440 strike or what. So I purposefully started sleeping with my 0:10:06.360 --> 0:10:09.199 thermostat lower than ever before, just to maybe try to 0:10:09.200 --> 0:10:12.360 get ahead of it so I don't wake up sweaty. 0:10:13.960 --> 0:10:18.160 My cycles are very irregular, like all over the place. 0:10:20.280 --> 0:10:22.079 Like I'll be like, didn't I just have my period? 0:10:22.320 --> 0:10:25.120 And then it just like doesn't make sense. Some of 0:10:25.160 --> 0:10:28.640 my cramps have been completely out of control, painful that 0:10:28.720 --> 0:10:31.400 I have not some types of pain that I haven't 0:10:31.440 --> 0:10:36.000 experienced since college for some reason, like who knows why 0:10:36.160 --> 0:10:39.880 there was relief for you know, over a decade or so. 0:10:40.040 --> 0:10:44.000 But yeah, I'm trying to think of is it any 0:10:44.040 --> 0:10:47.319 better now or you still feel like you're going through it? 0:10:47.480 --> 0:10:50.680 I mean, I have some supplements that I take that 0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:58.960 I think help, but then I'll you know, do it 0:10:59.040 --> 0:11:01.360 for several months and then I'll run out and I'll 0:11:01.400 --> 0:11:03.280 be like, oh, shoot, I need to refill my and 0:11:03.320 --> 0:11:06.160 then I don't, and so I don't know. And some 0:11:06.240 --> 0:11:10.000 of it, like I have what's called golfer's elbow. My 0:11:10.160 --> 0:11:13.480 elbow joint like really really hurts. I thought it was 0:11:13.520 --> 0:11:16.240 tennis elbow, but then I googled where the pain was specifically, 0:11:16.240 --> 0:11:19.160 and apparently it's called golfer's elbow. And a lot of 0:11:19.160 --> 0:11:23.840 people attribute that sort of stuff to perimenopause. But who knows. 0:11:24.160 --> 0:11:24.679 You don't know. 0:11:25.160 --> 0:11:27.520 Yeah, there's just so many factors and hard to tell, 0:11:27.559 --> 0:11:30.559 and it isn't. The timeline also wonky, so you never 0:11:30.600 --> 0:11:33.520 really know when it's first starts versus when it really 0:11:33.559 --> 0:11:34.040 is ending. 0:11:34.320 --> 0:11:37.600 Yeah, And I will get into tracking things and then 0:11:37.640 --> 0:11:41.240 I get bored with it. That's probably my ADHD and 0:11:41.400 --> 0:11:45.000 ADHD with perimenopause a lot I got combo. 0:11:45.600 --> 0:11:45.840 Uh. 0:11:46.080 --> 0:11:49.440 So you know, I sometimes have to if I want 0:11:49.480 --> 0:11:52.320 to just like crawl into my bed, I have to 0:11:53.400 --> 0:11:56.280 give myself that because I'm not used to that during 0:11:56.320 --> 0:11:59.720 the day of wanting to just lay there. 0:12:00.559 --> 0:12:01.079 Ah. 0:12:01.520 --> 0:12:05.480 But I try to set a timer or give myself 0:12:05.480 --> 0:12:08.120 that time and then get up and then get moving again. 0:12:09.440 --> 0:12:11.000 And I'm thankful for I guess the times that I 0:12:11.040 --> 0:12:14.160 have been able to do that, But on days, some 0:12:14.240 --> 0:12:15.920 days you don't have a choice and you're like powering through, 0:12:15.920 --> 0:12:17.520 but then eventually catch up to you and then the 0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:20.920 next thing, you're just like crying and you're like, okay. 0:12:20.679 --> 0:12:23.520 Cool, it's horrible. 0:12:24.480 --> 0:12:30.679 Well it is, but you with everybody talking about it 0:12:30.760 --> 0:12:34.080 so much, especially online, And that's a lot of my content. 0:12:34.160 --> 0:12:37.240 A lot of my algorithm is ADHD and perimenopause stuff. 0:12:37.720 --> 0:12:42.600 You feel less alone. You're like, okay, I'm not crazy. 0:12:44.400 --> 0:12:49.240 And I imagine some women in previous from previous decades, 0:12:49.280 --> 0:12:57.520 they felt probably crazy. And awareness is everything, information is everything. 0:12:57.520 --> 0:12:59.480 So I've got to go get some new blood work 0:12:59.520 --> 0:13:01.680 done for sure, because I want to see where my 0:13:01.720 --> 0:13:05.760 hormones are at that for a while I was taking 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:10.400 some testosterone and then I quit, so I need to 0:13:10.440 --> 0:13:12.560 see if I need to get back on that. Just 0:13:12.640 --> 0:13:15.280 so many things that are up and down, so many things, 0:13:15.360 --> 0:13:18.160 so many things, and just taking the time to take 0:13:18.200 --> 0:13:19.199 care of yourself. 0:13:20.120 --> 0:13:23.439 Yes, well, and speaking of taking care of yourself, Elizabeth 0:13:23.559 --> 0:13:27.080 wanted to know, I think out of curiosity, do you 0:13:27.400 --> 0:13:29.760 fully recover from an eating disorder or is it like 0:13:29.840 --> 0:13:30.360 an addiction? 0:13:30.480 --> 0:13:31.480 You deal with for life. 0:13:32.400 --> 0:13:36.080 I think it's something that you deal with for life, 0:13:36.600 --> 0:13:38.440 but in different ways. 0:13:38.480 --> 0:13:41.080 It's not as loud. 0:13:41.720 --> 0:13:43.920 I guess at times, I don't know. I'm not an 0:13:43.960 --> 0:13:50.560 alcoholic or an addict, like, so I don't know what 0:13:50.679 --> 0:13:55.360 their experience is like wanting to drink every day. I 0:13:55.440 --> 0:13:57.960 know that coming out of it, I guess it's twenty 0:13:58.000 --> 0:14:00.680 twenty five, so almost twenty twenty six, twenty six, it'll 0:14:00.720 --> 0:14:06.440 be six years that I've been in recovery. And oh 0:14:06.480 --> 0:14:09.160 it's more peaceful, that is for sure. But I know 0:14:09.240 --> 0:14:14.360 that first year twenty twenty, like that was a difficult year. 0:14:14.400 --> 0:14:18.000 But it's sort of similar to an alcoholic maybe with 0:14:18.080 --> 0:14:20.240 their chip. And this is how I felt the first 0:14:20.280 --> 0:14:24.720 time around when I went like twelve years in, I 0:14:24.760 --> 0:14:27.680 call it a sort of recovery. At least I wasn't purging, 0:14:28.280 --> 0:14:31.840 but I had other disorder, Like I didn't know orthorexia 0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:34.040 was a thing, Like I was very hyperfixated on every 0:14:34.040 --> 0:14:36.320 single ingredient and I didn't realize that how that was 0:14:36.400 --> 0:14:38.040 ruling my life. I thought that was just being quote 0:14:38.120 --> 0:14:40.520 unquote healthy, but it was disruptive, like it was hard 0:14:40.520 --> 0:14:41.520 to go out to you with me, like I was 0:14:41.600 --> 0:14:43.680 zero fun but as long as I wasn't purging, but 0:14:43.840 --> 0:14:46.360 for that twelve years, but when my mom died, it 0:14:46.480 --> 0:14:49.520 immediately came back and there was really nothing I could 0:14:49.520 --> 0:14:51.720 do about it. It was a trauma response, like that's 0:14:51.720 --> 0:14:54.280 how my body was going to cope and it was 0:14:54.320 --> 0:14:56.800 going to control that situation. And it was like the 0:14:56.840 --> 0:14:59.520 day after she died, I ate and then I purged, 0:14:59.520 --> 0:15:04.560 and then cycle began and that lasted from twenty fourteen 0:15:04.640 --> 0:15:08.800 to twenty nineteen. So then it was almost like twenty 0:15:08.800 --> 0:15:10.720 twenty was like the new year. I mean in COVID. 0:15:10.800 --> 0:15:12.560 It had nothing to do with covidorn thing because COVID 0:15:12.600 --> 0:15:15.480 hadn't happened yet. It was a specific book that I 0:15:15.560 --> 0:15:17.760 read because I was tired and exhausted of it. 0:15:18.840 --> 0:15:19.640 I was so over it. 0:15:19.680 --> 0:15:22.440 But it was called Brain Overbinch, and I read that 0:15:22.520 --> 0:15:26.440 book at the beginning of twenty twenty. 0:15:27.520 --> 0:15:29.240 Is that when did we go on family feud? 0:15:30.000 --> 0:15:31.680 I want to say it was right around that time, 0:15:31.720 --> 0:15:34.359 because I feel like COVID hit twenty twenty. 0:15:34.080 --> 0:15:37.280 But it was like March beginning in April, and I 0:15:37.280 --> 0:15:39.760 feel like we went to La to film that in 0:15:39.800 --> 0:15:42.640 like January February and I remember I had that book 0:15:42.720 --> 0:15:45.440 on our flight on my flight. I don't know if 0:15:45.440 --> 0:15:48.480 we all flew together on my flight to LA and 0:15:51.240 --> 0:15:55.360 it it changed everything, like and there was these courses 0:15:55.400 --> 0:15:56.880 you could sign up for, like I was all in. 0:15:56.920 --> 0:15:58.440 I was like, oh my gosh, she has these courses 0:15:58.480 --> 0:15:59.760 you could like listen to. She had these. 0:16:00.840 --> 0:16:04.080 I downloaded them on the flight home from LA. I 0:16:04.080 --> 0:16:07.160 remember listening to the recordings and like highlighting things in 0:16:07.200 --> 0:16:13.920 the book. That book changed everything for me. And then 0:16:13.960 --> 0:16:16.080 it was a slow whele, like you know, I started 0:16:16.120 --> 0:16:19.960 doing like my Fitness Pal or whatever. And then I realized, like, okay, 0:16:20.000 --> 0:16:21.720 I need to surrender. I need to let that go 0:16:21.800 --> 0:16:23.520 to Some people can do that stuff and enter their 0:16:23.520 --> 0:16:26.600 macros and it's fine, but when you're literally I could 0:16:26.600 --> 0:16:29.120 probably start doing macros right now and I would be okay. 0:16:29.640 --> 0:16:31.320 Because I'm six years in, I know I could do 0:16:31.360 --> 0:16:34.920 it with health and mind not control, just literally like 0:16:35.040 --> 0:16:37.120 knowing what am I putting in my body because at 0:16:37.160 --> 0:16:39.240 forty four, being peri menopausital, like I need to be 0:16:39.280 --> 0:16:42.360 focusing on protein. I need to be worried about when 0:16:42.400 --> 0:16:45.400 putting up my body like I have. I'm having a 0:16:45.480 --> 0:16:49.800 very difficult time retaining muscle, and I'm trying to figure 0:16:49.800 --> 0:16:51.800 that out. But some of that is I've got to 0:16:51.840 --> 0:16:54.240 be strategic and I've got to write it down so 0:16:54.360 --> 0:16:56.440 it's not out of a control, which my fitness power 0:16:56.480 --> 0:17:00.880 in the beginning of my covery was control. So my 0:17:00.960 --> 0:17:05.120 friend Lisa, who's a registered dietitian that is also in recovery, 0:17:05.119 --> 0:17:07.760 and she has a program called fork the Noise, because 0:17:07.760 --> 0:17:09.320 that is all it is. It's like noise in your head, 0:17:09.320 --> 0:17:12.879 and she's like stick a fork in it, and she 0:17:13.080 --> 0:17:16.200 highly encouraged me to ditch. She's like, you've got to stop, 0:17:16.200 --> 0:17:17.359 because I mean, I can go to bed at night 0:17:17.440 --> 0:17:19.359 till I entered in all my stuff and then you know, 0:17:19.400 --> 0:17:22.159 if I ate like a fourth of an egg, like 0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:24.040 I was entering in a fourth of an egg, like okay, 0:17:24.080 --> 0:17:27.840 who cares? But I wanted every detail even though I 0:17:27.880 --> 0:17:29.720 wasn't purging right, So then I had to That was 0:17:29.760 --> 0:17:32.119 my final I remember deleting my Fitness of Wealth my 0:17:32.160 --> 0:17:34.320 phone was like my final surrender, and that was probably 0:17:34.359 --> 0:17:37.800 around March something March April that I deleted that and 0:17:37.840 --> 0:17:41.480 then the so the recovery, it's an ongoing process. So 0:17:41.480 --> 0:17:44.680 it's in stages. I think with eating sorts it's different. 0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:46.760 It's like, Okay, well you know you quit the alcohol. 0:17:46.760 --> 0:17:48.520 You quit the alcohol. But I don't know if for 0:17:48.520 --> 0:17:50.280 some people might be in stages where they're like, Okay, 0:17:50.280 --> 0:17:52.840 I quit the hard liquor, and then now maybe I've 0:17:52.880 --> 0:17:55.240 quit the beer, and then maybe now I've quit going 0:17:55.280 --> 0:17:58.160 to bars, and then now I've quit you know, because 0:17:58.160 --> 0:18:00.680 when you put yourself in certain situations, like there was 0:18:00.720 --> 0:18:03.359 some stuff where I'm like, well, this is me still 0:18:03.400 --> 0:18:03.920 trying to. 0:18:04.840 --> 0:18:05.719 When I would dabble. 0:18:05.880 --> 0:18:09.800 That's where it could be related, is that, you know, alcoholics, 0:18:10.640 --> 0:18:13.240 we pay attention to those that they always have to 0:18:13.280 --> 0:18:15.440 actively make a choice to not do that. It's kind 0:18:15.440 --> 0:18:17.719 of like with yours, you're always actively making a choice 0:18:17.720 --> 0:18:20.760 to make sure you're not doing anything that would impact 0:18:20.800 --> 0:18:21.960 you long term. 0:18:22.080 --> 0:18:23.360 Yeah. Uh oh. 0:18:23.400 --> 0:18:24.640 And I think what I was going to say about 0:18:24.640 --> 0:18:27.280 the alcoholics is the chips, Like they have a chip, 0:18:27.280 --> 0:18:30.920 and for before my mom died, I had a chip 0:18:30.920 --> 0:18:32.639 that I'd had a long time, and then all of 0:18:32.680 --> 0:18:35.159 a sudden, like boom, my chip was gone. And then 0:18:35.160 --> 0:18:36.640 now I kind of feel like I have my chip back, 0:18:37.440 --> 0:18:40.400 and I don't I don't want to lose my chip. Yeah, 0:18:40.440 --> 0:18:46.400 and I do feel like it's something that's always there though, 0:18:46.480 --> 0:18:48.400 so I can only speak to my experience. 0:18:48.440 --> 0:18:49.439 It's just not as loud. 0:18:49.640 --> 0:18:51.800 So similar to back to that fork the noise, it's 0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:54.040 almost like, Okay, I stuck a fork in it, and 0:18:54.040 --> 0:18:55.879 I feel really good about that, but I also have 0:18:55.960 --> 0:18:59.360 to be on guard. But like that fork could come 0:18:59.440 --> 0:19:01.920 loose at any moment. And you know, when my dad 0:19:01.960 --> 0:19:03.800 passed away, I was a little bit nervous that it 0:19:03.920 --> 0:19:07.880 might because that's how my body responded with my mom. 0:19:08.960 --> 0:19:12.080