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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Angie and this is Dakota, your favorite

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Speaker 1: Okay story Time hosts, and we've got some great stories

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Speaker 1: coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep this show running.

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Speaker 1: My family is demanding I come back home, so I

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Speaker 1: revealed the reason I left. Why did you leave? And

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Speaker 1: there's a trigger warning for financial mistreatment. So I've left home.

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Speaker 1: I'm more or less homeless and lodging in a hotel

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Speaker 1: that a friend paid for. This is due to my

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Speaker 1: mom acting awfully for the first time since my dad

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Speaker 1: passed away. I left four days later. By the way,

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Speaker 1: this comes from user own zoo Keeper game five seven

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Speaker 1: four And if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 1: go to the ar slash Okay story Time subreed it.

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Speaker 1: I'm Dakota, I'm Keon, and we're here give good advice. Goofy.

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Speaker 1: We don't have all the answers though. You only know

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Speaker 1: a little Pikito, So if you know Mucho, let us

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Speaker 1: know in the comments.

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Speaker 3: Tikito is small and Mucho. Come on, you should know.

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Speaker 1: We should all know that. And Op says I had

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Speaker 1: already been planning on leaving later this year because she's

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Speaker 1: been stealing from my late dad's estate that he left

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Speaker 1: for me in his will. She's been selling some properties,

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Speaker 1: and it's two years ago that I found out that

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Speaker 1: that's actually a crime. When I tried to get her

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Speaker 1: to do the right thing, she called me a gold digger,

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Speaker 1: which is not the right use of that word. And

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Speaker 1: since then, so many things have happened. I've gotten a

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Speaker 1: lawyer and we're working out logistics to get what's mine.

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Speaker 1: After leaving home last Friday, I've had a barrage of

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Speaker 1: calls from family members. Everyone has been trying to convince

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Speaker 1: me to come home, and even trying to evoke my

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Speaker 1: late dad's name to get me to come home. Q

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Speaker 1: this incident, my in law calls me on Sunday and says,

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Speaker 1: my mom came to his house and told him what's happening.

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Speaker 1: He started with saying that I'm making the wrong decision.

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Speaker 1: Just two wrongs don't make a right. He doesn't know

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Speaker 1: I left because of what my mother did, and I

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Speaker 1: don't tell him because he says, quote, I won't ask

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Speaker 1: what made you leave yet. I want you to go

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Speaker 1: back so we can talk about it. Keeps on saying

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Speaker 1: the path I'm on is wrong. All I try to

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Speaker 1: say falls on deaf ears, and since we're Muslim, he

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Speaker 1: starts quoting Hadith's sort of like a guide showing how

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Speaker 1: the prophet practice what the Quran teaches in daily life

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Speaker 1: to support him and me going back. After he's done,

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Speaker 1: I finally get the chance to speak. I tell him

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Speaker 1: that I'm thanking him for the concern, and even though

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Speaker 1: I'm not ready to tell him the full story, i

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Speaker 1: just want him to know that the main reason I've

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Speaker 1: left is because my mom is stealing from an orphan.

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Speaker 1: That's me.

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Speaker 3: By the way.

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Speaker 1: Now, in the religion, when your dad passes away, you

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Speaker 1: are classified as an orphan. So I was letting him

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Speaker 1: know my mom was stealing from me.

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Speaker 4: Okay, oh so that's clarified a lot there. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, Okay,

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Speaker 4: good tonight.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, here we go.

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Speaker 3: Never knew that. Good to know.

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Speaker 1: So that was a subtle hint. You're like, yeah, she's

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Speaker 1: stealing from an orphan, stealing from me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's always when your in law called you and

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Speaker 3: like you no, come home.

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Speaker 4: We had to figure this out. Your mom told me

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Speaker 4: what happened. Come on, do you think mom really told

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Speaker 4: him the truth?

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Speaker 1: Or her truth, the truth, the whole truth, and nothing

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Speaker 1: but the truth. Yeah, op continues, and in our religion,

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Speaker 1: stealing from an orphan gives you an automatic and cemented

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Speaker 1: ticket to the bad place. And you guessed it. He

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Speaker 1: decided to actually listen to me.

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Speaker 3: Now good.

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Speaker 1: He stopped trying to guilt me into going home. After

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Speaker 1: I gave him a summarized version of events. He starts saying,

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Speaker 1: we need to talk to my mom. I need to

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Speaker 1: tell the family promptly forgetting his mission to get me

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Speaker 1: to go back home. I felt very satisfied when he

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Speaker 1: apologized and said he's sorry. I'm going through that. Safe

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Speaker 1: to say he hasn't since since that experience any other

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Speaker 1: family member who calls, I just let them know she's

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Speaker 1: stealing from me, and each and every one of them

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Speaker 1: stops asking me to go back home. In all of this,

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Speaker 1: it seems my mom didn't expect me to leave home,

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Speaker 1: and she's been very remorseful and worried. But it's a

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Speaker 1: little too late for that. And we do have some

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Speaker 1: comments here.

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Speaker 4: I mean, I think, oh boy, yeah, I would just

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Speaker 4: have that will on hand and just oh, mom wants

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Speaker 4: me to come back home to center a picture of

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Speaker 4: the will the center literally like oh.

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Speaker 2: For that part.

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Speaker 1: Well, clearly, like culturally or religiously, whatever you want to

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Speaker 1: call it, what she is doing is extremely browned upon.

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Speaker 1: So I think your easiest solution here might just be

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Speaker 1: opening up another dialogue with your mom, reaching out and

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Speaker 1: just being like, look, here's what's happening. People are knowing

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Speaker 1: about it. You have the opportunity to just make it right.

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Speaker 1: You've sold some of this stuff, just let's put the

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Speaker 1: money in an account. We don't even have to you know,

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Speaker 1: it's not even that like I don't know, maybe something

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Speaker 1: that I don't have access to immediately. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: why is she doing this? Does she feel like you're

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Speaker 1: not ready for it? Does she feel like you don't

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Speaker 1: deserve it? Where's the where's the reasoning?

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Speaker 3: Was greedy?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Right? And it's just this is now again, I'm

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Speaker 1: opening it up as an opportunity for you to like

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Speaker 1: do the right thing, and you know.

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Speaker 3: And that's that have Emily as witness.

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Speaker 1: And then if she still doesn't respond, then it's like okay,

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Speaker 1: now the lawyer is coming for everything, all right, So

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Speaker 1: and the lawyers.

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Speaker 3: More on top of that with yeah, and.

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Speaker 1: You know that lawyer is gonna work really hard, because

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Speaker 1: the lawyer is gonna have a way better chance of

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Speaker 1: getting paid a good amount of money if he recoups

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Speaker 1: all of that estate value and then hope he can

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Speaker 1: liquidate some of it and pay.

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Speaker 4: My lawyer is looking at that, it's like, that's easy. Yeah, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: we give me a call. I'm ready.

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Speaker 1: So we've got comments. Comment one stealing from an orphan

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Speaker 1: and trying to guilt her into coming back. Mama really

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Speaker 1: played herself on this one comment too. She is remorseful

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Speaker 1: because you spoke up and she might go to jail,

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Speaker 1: not because of what she did. I know this type

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Speaker 1: of person all too well. Ope replies to that, she

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Speaker 1: doesn't know. I've been telling the family the truth, so

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Speaker 1: she's more or less clueless to the fact that family

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Speaker 1: now knows she's selling properties she's not supposed to sell.

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Speaker 1: She's actually thinking I've forgotten about it because I don't

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Speaker 1: mention it anymore. I do suspect she's a self absorbed

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Speaker 1: person because of the other incidents we've had, so her

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Speaker 1: remorse may come from some twisted way of quote unquote

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Speaker 1: loving me, but also the public disgrace of her only

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Speaker 1: child leaving home. A third comment says, has her ability

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Speaker 1: to continue to steal your inheritance stop? It definitely sounds

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Speaker 1: like once the truth is out, relatives quickly shut up,

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Speaker 1: even before they knew the truth. Why do they want

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Speaker 1: you back with mom so bad? Is it to help

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Speaker 1: financially support her? Is she lonely old? What's going on?

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Speaker 1: OPI replies? So she's only able to sell stuff if

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Speaker 1: I sign papers, And for the last two years, I've

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Speaker 1: refused to sign any type of documents that I have

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Speaker 1: to do with selling anything.

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Speaker 3: Has she forged? Has she forged your signature?

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Speaker 1: Ooh? She racking up felonies right now? Oh boy, boy,

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Speaker 1: oh boy. My family wants me back with her because

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Speaker 1: I'm the only kid of my parents, so more or less,

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Speaker 1: she's the only one I have and I'm the only

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Speaker 1: one she has. Also because my dad was a pretty

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Speaker 1: good person, so they feel an obligation to keep his

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Speaker 1: family together since he wouldn't be happy his daughter and

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Speaker 1: wife or log her heads. Also, I believe I was

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Speaker 1: mistakenly referring to OPI as man earlier, and for that

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Speaker 1: I apologize. I got my he she's mixed up, and yes,

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Speaker 1: also because she's lonely. She doesn't have much friends and

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Speaker 1: family don't stay with us because she tends to yell

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Speaker 1: and brate you when you displease her.

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Speaker 3: Oh wow, okay, and I feel like that's why.

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Speaker 4: I feel like that's also why your family members they

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Speaker 4: were like, they weren't questioning you.

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Speaker 3: They're like, okay, like that's why you left, all right.

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Speaker 1: They're like, all right, we'll do the thing based on principle.

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Speaker 1: It's like you should be together because of your Oh

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Speaker 1: she's doing that. Oh my god, yeah, don't go back. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: We were like, they're like, we don't need proof. She's

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Speaker 4: like all your family members are like, okay, we take

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Speaker 4: your word for it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we have an update. Op says thank you to

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Speaker 1: everyone for the kind words. A lot of you asked

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Speaker 1: for an update on my current situation, and a lot

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Speaker 1: has happened since my last post. Since then, I have

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Speaker 1: moved from the hotel to my aunt's place. After speaking

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Speaker 1: with that in law, he asks me to tell some

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Speaker 1: of the older people in the family. So I opt

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Speaker 1: to tell my mom's oldest brother and we agreed on

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Speaker 1: meeting last Sunday Friday. My godfather asks to meet. He's

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Speaker 1: honestly been my rock. He and my aunt have been

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Speaker 1: very supportive during our talk. He tells me to be

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Speaker 1: patient and positive. He also asked me to send her

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Speaker 1: a message just saying hello, as my mom and I

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Speaker 1: have not communicated properly since I left. He tells me

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Speaker 1: not to be anxious, as in this situation, there's no

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Speaker 1: way my mom is going to come out as a winner.

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Speaker 1: He is of the reconciliatory opinion, as he feels my

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Speaker 1: mom is messing up her own life. He had said

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Speaker 1: during last week that he would like for me to

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Speaker 1: go back home for a short while just to sort

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Speaker 1: the issues out, and I had anxiety. I had an

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Speaker 1: anxiety attack. I think that made him realize how bad

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Speaker 1: I feared going back, and he and my aunt came

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Speaker 1: up with a temporary solution of me living with my

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Speaker 1: aunt for at least a month to see if there's

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Speaker 1: any hope. They also want to try all avenues before

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Speaker 1: finally giving up because of their relationship with my late dad.

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Speaker 1: Aunt is his sister and godfather, his best friend. After

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Speaker 1: our meeting, I send my mom a message just checking

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Speaker 1: up on her, and she goes into a rant about

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Speaker 1: how she no longer classified herself as a mother, How

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Speaker 1: I'm labeling her as useless, how I should just forget

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Speaker 1: about her, and how I'm trying to say she's a

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Speaker 1: wicked and cruel person. Ah, your mother is self absorbed.

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Speaker 1: That is the most classic move of the.

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Speaker 3: I'm a terrible mother.

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Speaker 2: Just let it go.

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Speaker 3: I already know what I did is wrong, but let

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Speaker 3: it go and leave me all the money.

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Speaker 1: You play the guilt shame, guilt shame. Yep, I'm terrible.

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Speaker 1: You've made me feel this way, and don't even talk

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Speaker 1: to me because I don't deserve it, and that's what

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Speaker 1: you think. And also you're telling everyone that I'm so

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Speaker 1: terrible and wicked and bad, and maybe I am, and

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Speaker 1: I'll just be that way for the every for the

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Speaker 1: rest of my life. And what she wants is for

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Speaker 1: you to go. No, my mim, I'm so sorry. I

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Speaker 1: don't mean any of that, but I don't even think

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Speaker 1: that warrants a response. Honestly, she's not ready to have

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Speaker 1: a conversation. Clearly, OPI replied, I just tell her quote

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Speaker 1: glad to know you're all right, take care and keep

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Speaker 1: it pushing. Yeah, baby, I tell my godfather this, and

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Speaker 1: he says I shouldn't have replied, as he doesn't want

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Speaker 1: me interacting with anything negative from her. I met my

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Speaker 1: mom's brother on Sunday and tell him everything that happened.

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Speaker 1: As he starts talking, I realized no one can speak

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Speaker 1: to my mom because she disrespected him several times in

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Speaker 1: the past, and he had just been keeping mute.

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Speaker 4: Ah, look at Gop, you're just following suit. You're just

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Speaker 4: doing what everyone else is doing, which is the right thing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The way she is with you is the way she

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Speaker 1: is with everyone, and everyone knows it. It doesn't like

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Speaker 1: it already. My mom's brother also told me it was

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Speaker 1: my grandparents who spoiled her because she would do something

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Speaker 1: bad and instead of correcting her, they would coddle her

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Speaker 1: and go bag on her behalf. At the end of

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Speaker 1: our conversation, I told him I'd be staying with my

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Speaker 1: aunt so he shouldn't worry. On Monday, I ask for

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Speaker 1: the day off from work and move my stuff into

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Speaker 1: my aunt's place. My godfather then comes around and we

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Speaker 1: go to my mom's place for the meeting. The agreement

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Speaker 1: between them and her was she was not to have

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Speaker 1: a back and forth with me. She was to listen

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Speaker 1: to my concerns and how I felt during this meeting.

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Speaker 1: She was entirely disrespectful.

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Speaker 4: Shocking. Wow, she's just I want to see this woman

248
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Speaker 4: play poker. Oh, show me your poker face.

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Speaker 1: She kept yawning. She kept trying to rush me by saying,

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Speaker 1: hurry up and say your points because I want to

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Speaker 1: write them down. You're going around in circles, and she

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Speaker 1: even told me she has worked tomorrow, so I should

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Speaker 1: hurry up. My uncle kept telling her to allow me

254
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Speaker 1: to speak because we weren't here to have an argument.

255
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Speaker 1: I told her how I felt about the emotional and

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Speaker 1: financial lub and how her constantly telling people when we

257
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Speaker 1: had arguments so they would blame me made me feel.

258
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Speaker 1: When I was done, she started deflecting and saying stuff

259
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Speaker 1: like some of my concerns were not a big deal

260
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Speaker 1: and they were very repetitive. My uncle shut that down

261
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Speaker 1: and told her that wasn't the point. The point was

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Speaker 1: to hear me out. I was just glad I got

263
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Speaker 1: to see my little sisters, as I had missed them

264
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Speaker 1: so much.

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Speaker 2: Oh.

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Speaker 1: On the ride back, my uncle and aunt discussed how

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Speaker 1: she kept trying to trivialize my concerns and how that

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Speaker 1: was very concerning My uncle and I speak every day.

269
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Speaker 1: But for now I'm with my aunt and my anxiety

270
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Speaker 1: has been so low. I'm still anxious because this is

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Speaker 1: a high stress situation, but I don't have to deal

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Speaker 1: with her or managing what I say and how I

273
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Speaker 1: say it. All I need to do is exist. Ah man,

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Speaker 1: that sounds like ak. That made me relax and I'm

275
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Speaker 1: not even stressed out, like I exist. Yeah, it's so

276
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Speaker 1: uh being in an environment with you know, a parent

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Speaker 1: like this can be or anybody like this. It's like

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Speaker 1: you constantly are like self checking yourself of like oh

279
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Speaker 1: I need to make sure I say this this way,

280
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Speaker 1: or you're constantly trying to avoid conflict, and you're doing that.

281
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Speaker 1: Just being able to like not have to worry about

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Speaker 1: any of that so great, So great. Family are still

283
00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:06,000
Speaker 1: bothering me and calling me. One uncle called me just

284
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,040
Speaker 1: to say he understands what I'm going through, but I

285
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:10,320
Speaker 1: should go back home for the sake of the kids. Oh,

286
00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:12,520
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I didn't realize that Op was their mom.

287
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,760
Speaker 1: What do you mean in sake of the kids, get

288
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:15,760
Speaker 1: the kids out of that house.

289
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Speaker 3: Yeah, clearly you didn't get like the point.

290
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Speaker 1: I have enough to get my own place. But it

291
00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:24,640
Speaker 1: helps to also save a little more. So my aunt's

292
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Speaker 1: place is good and my mom does not know where

293
00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:29,680
Speaker 1: she lives, so I count that as a win. Wow,

294
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:36,560
Speaker 1: that's a concerning point to have their anyway, there's another update. Yeah,

295
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Speaker 1: I think if we're like straight up being like, well,

296
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Speaker 1: I do like living here because my mom doesn't know

297
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:43,760
Speaker 1: where to find me, that really, I think tells me

298
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Speaker 1: all I need to know.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And at this point, if family members keep calling

300
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:48,880
Speaker 4: you and asking you, you just tell them, like, you

301
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:51,840
Speaker 4: know my reasons. If you've already told them, yeah, you

302
00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:53,640
Speaker 4: know my reasons. Respect that.

303
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Speaker 3: That's it.

304
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Speaker 1: Yeah, of a day number two. I know usually that

305
00:14:57,760 --> 00:15:00,520
Speaker 1: when the topic of moving out is brought up, the

306
00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:03,440
Speaker 1: advice is to say it cut and dry. But I

307
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:05,840
Speaker 1: have a lot of anxiety and still a bit of

308
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:09,000
Speaker 1: people pleasing in me, so I wanted help with telling

309
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:12,040
Speaker 1: my mom I'm moving out and not coming home permanently.

310
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Speaker 1: I wrote a long essay down to tell her, but

311
00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:18,480
Speaker 1: I'm realizing it's too long. Regardless of how she feels,

312
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:21,280
Speaker 1: I plan to move. So I've already accepted the fact

313
00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:23,600
Speaker 1: she's going to throw a mega tantrum no matter how

314
00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:26,840
Speaker 1: I say it, and there's an edit here, so just

315
00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:29,880
Speaker 1: so let everyone know, all my personal belongings aren't even home.

316
00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:32,600
Speaker 1: I was staying with my aunt, though I had divvied

317
00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:34,920
Speaker 1: up my belongings, and the half that wasn't at my

318
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,960
Speaker 1: aunt's place is already at the place I have paid for,

319
00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:40,840
Speaker 1: I have signed Elise, and I have paid rent. I'll

320
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,880
Speaker 1: be moving the half that's at my aunt's place in

321
00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:44,800
Speaker 1: a couple of days. But in order not to make

322
00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:47,880
Speaker 1: her blame my aunt, I have to tell my mom

323
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Speaker 1: before I go. She is the only one who doesn't

324
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,240
Speaker 1: know I have a place at this point. And there's

325
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:55,840
Speaker 1: a third update, and yeah, she doesn't know. She's a

326
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Speaker 1: nightmare to talk to you.

327
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Speaker 3: I was like, does she really need to know?

328
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:02,360
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, I think she needs to know, insofar

329
00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:04,480
Speaker 1: as like like you said, like you wrote an essay

330
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Speaker 1: and it's too long. It's like you could probably tell

331
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:09,160
Speaker 1: her everything she needs to know in three sentences, four sentences.

332
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,480
Speaker 3: I was say, all you have to say is I'm

333
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:12,200
Speaker 3: moving out.

334
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:17,080
Speaker 1: I'm moving out, it's not temporary. Tell the girl, Tell

335
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:19,280
Speaker 1: my sisters I love them, they're if they're free to

336
00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:22,120
Speaker 1: come over whenever. And I do love you, and I

337
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:25,400
Speaker 1: hope nothing but the best for you, even though you've

338
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,920
Speaker 1: stolen from me and it's not for her, that's for you.

339
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:30,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, lawyer up, that's what I would say. I'm moving out.

340
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:31,000
Speaker 3: Lawyer up.

341
00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:35,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, that'd be pretty dense, but that is exactly what

342
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:37,760
Speaker 1: you can. You should continue to lawyer.

343
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,960
Speaker 3: Read three sentences moving out, lawyer up. Get ready.

344
00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:45,680
Speaker 1: Update number three. It's been a whole six months since

345
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:49,320
Speaker 1: I gave an update here. A lot has happened in

346
00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:53,120
Speaker 1: these six months. I would start with the semi good things.

347
00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:55,960
Speaker 1: I moved out in April. I rented a house with

348
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:59,000
Speaker 1: my savings, and I now live there with two friends.

349
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:02,560
Speaker 1: It's over an hour away from my familial home, and

350
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:05,640
Speaker 1: my mom has been over once. I refused to give

351
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:09,119
Speaker 1: the location to her or anyone else. I am now

352
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:12,240
Speaker 1: also able to cut her calls and ignore her messages

353
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:15,000
Speaker 1: because I am physically away from her. Now, I am

354
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:18,159
Speaker 1: slowly getting back into my passion and hobbies. I've been

355
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:20,560
Speaker 1: able to get an estimate from the lawyer about the

356
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:24,520
Speaker 1: legal fees and how to proceed. My mom traveled shortly

357
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:27,520
Speaker 1: after the last update. We had agreed that I would

358
00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:30,200
Speaker 1: be coming home on the weekends from my aunt's place.

359
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,440
Speaker 1: But when she traveled, it dawned on me that the

360
00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:36,480
Speaker 1: end goal for all of them was for me to

361
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:41,000
Speaker 1: return back home. They had somehow believed her empty promises

362
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:43,919
Speaker 1: and kept reminding me of her age and how she

363
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,720
Speaker 1: is more prone to stress and illness, and I would

364
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:49,159
Speaker 1: not want anything bad to happen to her, so I

365
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:52,199
Speaker 1: should just go back home. I felt cornered. It was

366
00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:55,000
Speaker 1: only the support of my friends that kept me going.

367
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:58,040
Speaker 1: I decided at that moment that I needed to finally

368
00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:01,440
Speaker 1: choose myself. So I went house and apartment searching along

369
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,200
Speaker 1: with two friends while my mom was gone. He found

370
00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:07,159
Speaker 1: a beautiful place, and I drained my savings and paid

371
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:09,800
Speaker 1: for it three days before she arrived back in the country.

372
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:13,840
Speaker 1: All this time, she had been telling everybody that I

373
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,880
Speaker 1: was coming back. She even went as far as buying

374
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:19,720
Speaker 1: me very expensive things because she and I were going

375
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:22,240
Speaker 1: to bond over it. Once she was back, I called

376
00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:24,639
Speaker 1: my godfather and told him I cannot go back, but

377
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:27,640
Speaker 1: he did not budge from his position, so I wrote

378
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:31,040
Speaker 1: a heartfelt message to my aunt. She understood and agreed

379
00:18:31,119 --> 00:18:34,040
Speaker 1: on the condition that I do not live alone and

380
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,520
Speaker 1: I should continue to visit my mom on the weekends.

381
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:39,000
Speaker 1: Two days after my mom arrived, I told her I

382
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,639
Speaker 1: was moving out the next day. I told her it

383
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:45,359
Speaker 1: was for the best for work, emotion, and growth, and

384
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,560
Speaker 1: she at first started crying and told me she needed

385
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,200
Speaker 1: me and couldn't live without me, and that was all

386
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,960
Speaker 1: that she had since my dad passed away. Oh my god,

387
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:55,760
Speaker 1: what about your sisters? I would to God, one of

388
00:18:55,760 --> 00:19:00,320
Speaker 1: your other sisters over her dad. I can't imagine how

389
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:03,000
Speaker 1: internalized I would make that information.

390
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:03,960
Speaker 3: Yeah.

391
00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:05,840
Speaker 4: I feel like, well, it depends on how old they are,

392
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:10,800
Speaker 4: but I think this is showing everyone in your family

393
00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:13,399
Speaker 4: that you're capable of being on your own, but also

394
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:16,280
Speaker 4: inspiring your sisters that they can they can go off

395
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:16,640
Speaker 4: as well.

396
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:17,080
Speaker 2: Yeah.

397
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:22,240
Speaker 1: Oh. My mom then started to list off compromises she

398
00:19:22,359 --> 00:19:25,040
Speaker 1: was willing to go along with, which I knew were

399
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:28,760
Speaker 1: all lies, and some of these compromises had been promises

400
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:31,479
Speaker 1: she had told me years ago that she never followed ruan.

401
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:35,480
Speaker 1: And then she tried the good old fashioned emotional blackmail.

402
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:39,159
Speaker 1: Her yelling grew louder, and she started screaming that I

403
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:42,199
Speaker 1: was hurting her. Her sister, my older aunt was on

404
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:45,760
Speaker 1: the ground floor hearing all this, and the neighborhood quite

405
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:48,600
Speaker 1: frankly could hear her. My aunt came up to ask

406
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:50,840
Speaker 1: what was going on. I had told her I was

407
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:53,520
Speaker 1: leaving before my mom arrived from her trip, and she

408
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:56,920
Speaker 1: gave me her blessing. My mom yelled I was abandoning

409
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,720
Speaker 1: her and I did not love her. My aunt took

410
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:01,520
Speaker 1: me so somewhere else and asked me to calm down.

411
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:02,880
Speaker 1: Ask you to calm down.

412
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,720
Speaker 3: Well, out of the two who can be calmed down,

413
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:06,080
Speaker 3: you know what?

414
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:11,560
Speaker 1: Extremely valid point. After calming down, my aunt took me

415
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:14,240
Speaker 1: to my room, where I stayed until the next day,

416
00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:16,639
Speaker 1: which was the day I was leaving. I had already

417
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,040
Speaker 1: moved the majority of my belongings to my aunt's place,

418
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,600
Speaker 1: so I only had two mini bags to carry from

419
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:25,000
Speaker 1: my mom's house. My aunt showed me away and told

420
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:28,080
Speaker 1: me not to tell her. To just leave and inform

421
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,639
Speaker 1: my mom when I'm gone, so a repeat of the

422
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:34,480
Speaker 1: previous day did not occur. I thanked her. My housemate

423
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:36,239
Speaker 1: drove me to my aunt's place, and we picked all

424
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:39,240
Speaker 1: my belongings up and moved to the new house. My

425
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:41,600
Speaker 1: mom called later that night and spoke to me in

426
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:47,320
Speaker 1: the calmest voice ever and scary yeah, that feels freaky,

427
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,919
Speaker 1: and started trying to convince me again, But when she

428
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,400
Speaker 1: realized it was not working, she asked to come see

429
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:56,360
Speaker 1: the place. It was a point of contention with one

430
00:20:56,359 --> 00:21:00,159
Speaker 1: of my housemates because they felt that for my safety,

431
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,560
Speaker 1: she should not know where I live. We finally agreed

432
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:05,840
Speaker 1: that I would ask my therapist about it, and he

433
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,240
Speaker 1: told me to allow her to come see the place

434
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:12,600
Speaker 1: just once. So my house made agreed and she came

435
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,000
Speaker 1: to see the place. She came with my aunt and

436
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:20,560
Speaker 1: uncle and left after ten minutes of walking around. Yeah, boy,

437
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:23,359
Speaker 1: oh boy, oh, that certainly sounds like someone who can't

438
00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:26,200
Speaker 1: live without you comes and sees your place for ten

439
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:30,159
Speaker 1: minutes and leaves. Yeah. My kid's sisters later told me

440
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:33,720
Speaker 1: that she called the house ugly compared to the family house.

441
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:36,639
Speaker 3: Of course she did. Of course I knew, I knew it.

442
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:37,919
Speaker 3: I was waiting for that.

443
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:43,600
Speaker 1: I finally had something that was mine and away from her,

444
00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:47,080
Speaker 1: and she has continuously tried to pick fights with me,

445
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:50,360
Speaker 1: but I have been able to ignore them so far. However,

446
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:54,119
Speaker 1: three weeks ago I got the estimate to do the

447
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:57,000
Speaker 1: probate from the lawyer, and it is a little over

448
00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:03,760
Speaker 1: thirteen thousand dollars with out lawyer's fees. Wow, seems like

449
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:07,400
Speaker 1: maybe a lot, and that's without lawyer feeds. In that

450
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:11,280
Speaker 1: same week, I found out from my kid's sisters overhearing

451
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:15,000
Speaker 1: my mom's conversations, that she is selling assets behind my

452
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:18,280
Speaker 1: back again. I've only been able to pay two hundred

453
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:21,239
Speaker 1: and eighty six dollars out of that amount because it

454
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:25,560
Speaker 1: was for filing, leaving me with twelve thousand, seven hundred

455
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:29,240
Speaker 1: and seventy three dollars. The courts here don't take assets

456
00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:33,280
Speaker 1: as payments, and I cannot access the assets until I

457
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:36,000
Speaker 1: do the probate. I have given myself until October to

458
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,720
Speaker 1: get that amount because the courts are on vacation here

459
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:42,439
Speaker 1: right now and would be back in October. I do

460
00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:45,080
Speaker 1: not know what to do or who to ask, because

461
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:47,960
Speaker 1: I don't want to burden my friends. I finished UNI

462
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,560
Speaker 1: this year, so I don't even have a stable job

463
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:52,920
Speaker 1: yet to be able to take a bank loan. I

464
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:55,760
Speaker 1: am so afraid that she will sell what was supposed

465
00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:59,679
Speaker 1: to be for my future. In addition, she continues to

466
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:02,359
Speaker 1: have the audacity to pick fights with me, and she

467
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:04,960
Speaker 1: tried to say it is my fault that she does

468
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:08,120
Speaker 1: chores and her laundry since I moved out, because I'm

469
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:11,040
Speaker 1: the one who's supposed to be doing all of that. Yeah, dude,

470
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:14,679
Speaker 1: how's how's this still going on? If you got the

471
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:17,320
Speaker 1: slam dunk case, reach out to your family, reach out

472
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:20,560
Speaker 1: to the people who also know how freaking obstinate and

473
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:23,080
Speaker 1: awful your mom is to deal with, and tell them

474
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:26,359
Speaker 1: that she is again stealing more stuff from you. I

475
00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:28,240
Speaker 1: feel like they would help you out with the thirteen

476
00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:30,639
Speaker 1: K to get the ball rolling on the legal proceeded.

477
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:35,680
Speaker 4: Just keep getting proof, keep recording this, get documents, anything

478
00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:38,000
Speaker 4: and everything to help your case, which I don't think

479
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,320
Speaker 4: you even need that much of because I feel like

480
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:43,400
Speaker 4: it would all be reimbursed to you. But if it's

481
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:46,320
Speaker 4: all really stressing you out, I feel like one.

482
00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:49,840
Speaker 3: Of your family members they are at least a couple

483
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:53,200
Speaker 3: because they know your situation and know your case, will

484
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:54,000
Speaker 3: be able to help.

485
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:58,240
Speaker 1: I just reach out to your godfather, your dad's best friend.

486
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:01,359
Speaker 1: Reach out to your godfather who is your uncle I

487
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:04,920
Speaker 1: guess in law. Uncle in law tell me like that, Yeah,

488
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:06,920
Speaker 1: I guarantee you can get that help. You don't want

489
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:09,040
Speaker 1: to wait any longer. She's gonna sell everything. It could

490
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:11,680
Speaker 1: be way easier to get your what's due to you

491
00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:16,800
Speaker 1: by you know, getting something official happening, versus she sells

492
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:18,640
Speaker 1: all this crap and then you have to go after

493
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:21,480
Speaker 1: her for assets, for whatever's liquid. She's trying to hide

494
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 1: stuff shared by stuff.

495
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:24,800
Speaker 3: Who knows and if that, if that's the case, just

496
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:26,240
Speaker 3: be like, I know what you're doing.

497
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 4: Keep doing it. It's gonna come back to you. Yeah, dude,

498
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:31,480
Speaker 4: And it's like, keep doing it, You keep.

499
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:34,240
Speaker 1: Doing it, you might end up in freaking jail cause

500
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:38,600
Speaker 1: you're doing crime. You are you're thieving, You are stealing legally.

501
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:42,160
Speaker 1: If that stuff is left to me and I am

502
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:45,199
Speaker 1: an adult, you are stealing from me.

503
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:46,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't understand.

504
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:47,960
Speaker 4: The family members like yeah, you should leave her, or

505
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 4: like we get it, but then you should go help

506
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:50,360
Speaker 4: take care of her.

507
00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:52,879
Speaker 1: You're like, well, it just goes back to that, like

508
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:57,000
Speaker 1: the you know, traditional notion of like it's no matter

509
00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:59,439
Speaker 1: how terrible a person is, if they are related to

510
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:02,199
Speaker 1: you by blood, you just have to deal with.

511
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:04,919
Speaker 3: It's your eyes. But yeah, no, I get it.

512
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:09,040
Speaker 1: Especially culturally, you know it's you know, op continues, I

513
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:12,159
Speaker 1: am trying to find ways to get this money. Trying

514
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 1: to borrow smaller amounts from people, but it's going to

515
00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:17,720
Speaker 1: be very hard, as I feel everyone is going through

516
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:20,800
Speaker 1: something that they also need their money for. You're seeing this,

517
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:23,320
Speaker 1: and you are religious in any way, Please keep me

518
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:26,480
Speaker 1: in your prayers. I need it now more than ever.

519
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:30,200
Speaker 1: And there is an edit here. I wanted to add

520
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:32,840
Speaker 1: that since I don't have a stable job, I still

521
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:35,800
Speaker 1: have to periodically go home to my mom so I

522
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:38,240
Speaker 1: could get a little money out of her for upkeep

523
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:42,760
Speaker 1: and transport my temporary workplace. She will not send the

524
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:46,480
Speaker 1: money if she knows I can come home. That's why

525
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:48,920
Speaker 1: I have not been able to go fully no contact

526
00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:51,560
Speaker 1: and why I feel the heavy weight on me to

527
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:54,479
Speaker 1: finish this legal issue so I don't have to depend

528
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:57,480
Speaker 1: on her anymore. That the end of story.

529
00:25:57,680 --> 00:25:58,959
Speaker 3: Yeah, very interesting.

530
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:03,240
Speaker 1: Hey, Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite good time boy host here.

531
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:05,560
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's three

532
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:07,119
Speaker 1: minutes of ads from our sponsors.

533
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:11,359
Speaker 4: I'm moving out and I'm only telling my parents days before.

534
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:15,240
Speaker 3: Hey, surprise, surprise, So.

535
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:19,280
Speaker 4: Right now I join one female and moving away from

536
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:22,159
Speaker 4: my parents. I haven't told them yet because I know

537
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:24,560
Speaker 4: things will hit the fan if I do. It all

538
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:26,480
Speaker 4: started one night a week ago when I told my

539
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:29,520
Speaker 4: fiance twenty seven male, that the country and home I'm

540
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:32,640
Speaker 4: staying in are on alive of me from the inside.

541
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:35,320
Speaker 4: All of my social and other aspects of life are

542
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:36,920
Speaker 4: in my own home country.

543
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:39,320
Speaker 3: Now a little bit of a backstory.

544
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:43,240
Speaker 4: Ooh, by the way, this comes from User Conscious Charge

545
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:44,920
Speaker 4: seventy seven to fifty three. And if you want to

546
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:46,880
Speaker 4: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

547
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:50,040
Speaker 4: story Time suppurate it. I'm key On, I'm Dakota, and

548
00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:52,640
Speaker 4: we're here to give good advice. Goofle ee. We don't

549
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:55,120
Speaker 4: have all the answers. We only know what we do

550
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:58,440
Speaker 4: to let us know what you do in the comments

551
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:02,080
Speaker 4: pretty please, And Opie says, I love with the mother

552
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:04,040
Speaker 4: who used to make me a little copy of her.

553
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:05,879
Speaker 4: If I didn't fit into what she thought of me,

554
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:08,639
Speaker 4: she would get angry, but she would praise me if

555
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:11,399
Speaker 4: I did fit in her little form and buy me things.

556
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,359
Speaker 4: My father wasn't really around because he was out of

557
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 4: the country or working as a truck driver. I remember

558
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:19,879
Speaker 4: when he came home, he only saw how I was

559
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:23,280
Speaker 4: failing a class, not who I was. My father landed

560
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:25,879
Speaker 4: a job in the country I currently reside in. My

561
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:27,960
Speaker 4: mother also worked as a cashier, and most of the

562
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,720
Speaker 4: time my grandparents took care of me, to the point

563
00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:34,399
Speaker 4: where I see my grandparents as my parental figures, not

564
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 4: my parents. I heard from some things because of them.

565
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:39,240
Speaker 4: They're not perfect, but they shouldn't have had to take

566
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:42,920
Speaker 4: care of kids that weren't theirs. It was thrown onto

567
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:45,880
Speaker 4: them as my parents moved in with us. My mother

568
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:49,440
Speaker 4: had my autism diagnosis for five years from my grandparents,

569
00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 4: and I think because of that they thought I was spoiled.

570
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:57,879
Speaker 1: Interesting, that's weird again, sort of like the Narsy kind

571
00:27:57,880 --> 00:27:58,600
Speaker 1: of angle.

572
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 4: It's because again you like, you're different from your mother,

573
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:06,040
Speaker 4: but you didn't think that right, like that's my that's me.

574
00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:09,240
Speaker 1: I mean, there is the potential where it's like your

575
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:11,800
Speaker 1: mom is doing that from a place where she's trying

576
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:15,840
Speaker 1: to like shell, you know, from a positive place right

577
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:18,080
Speaker 1: where it's like, well, I just want your grandparents to

578
00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:19,760
Speaker 1: treat you, because I don't want your grandparents to treat

579
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:22,280
Speaker 1: you differently. But it feels like it's more of like

580
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:25,280
Speaker 1: a I'm ashamed of your diagnosis and don't want it

581
00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:26,480
Speaker 1: to reflect poorly on me.

582
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:31,080
Speaker 4: It's like it, yeah, which is a terrible, terrible way, Yeah,

583
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:34,760
Speaker 4: to do to people, nonetheless your own kid.

584
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:36,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's crazy.

585
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:40,080
Speaker 4: My grandparents are pretty understanding when you explain things to them.

586
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:43,920
Speaker 4: But for years I took responsibility for my mother's emotions

587
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:47,920
Speaker 4: as her friend grouse. When I was sixteen, we moved

588
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 4: to another country. Before we moved a few months earlier,

589
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 4: I vaguely remember my mother crying to be that she

590
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:56,480
Speaker 4: missed my father so much and that she couldn't handle

591
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 4: it anymore. So when my father asked if I want

592
00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:03,200
Speaker 4: to move, I agreed without much a thought, only thinking

593
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:06,480
Speaker 4: about making my family happy in whole Again, those five years,

594
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:08,560
Speaker 4: I was often treated like I wasn't a member of

595
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:11,720
Speaker 4: the house. After I turned seventeen, they barely bought me

596
00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:15,160
Speaker 4: any clothing or care products that I needed. I don't

597
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 4: meet expensive creams or luxury items. I mean basics like

598
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:21,200
Speaker 4: shampoo that didn't make my headache.

599
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:26,400
Speaker 1: I wonder if that's like a byproduct of sort of

600
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 1: that frend dynamic where it's like you become this like

601
00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:33,800
Speaker 1: emotional support as a friend, like to your mom at

602
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:37,360
Speaker 1: a like age. It's like way like inappropriate.

603
00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:39,640
Speaker 4: It's and then I think when you get to like

604
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:42,240
Speaker 4: that mature, like mature enough age where like, yes, they're

605
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 4: your parents, but you can see them as like friends

606
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:45,200
Speaker 4: in a sense.

607
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 3: But I think Mom is viewing it like the.

608
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,120
Speaker 4: Fact that she's like, I'm so, I was sixteen years

609
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 4: old and my mom considered me a friend. There's where's

610
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:56,160
Speaker 4: that dynamic of mother daughter or mother child?

611
00:29:56,280 --> 00:30:01,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's gotta be like eighty percent mom and twenty exactly.

612
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:06,120
Speaker 4: Meanwhile, they bought a new car, new furniture, and clothes

613
00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 4: for themselves when I stopped being fake nice of them

614
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:14,080
Speaker 4: after being treated badly. They pinned it on my ex friends.

615
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:16,760
Speaker 4: I won't get into details about that one, but it

616
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:18,960
Speaker 4: helped me open my eyes a little bit about how

617
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:22,120
Speaker 4: my parents treated me. I turned twenty and still lived

618
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:24,160
Speaker 4: in the house. They wanted to take my adopted brother,

619
00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:27,640
Speaker 4: thirty four mail back into the house. I only knew

620
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:29,480
Speaker 4: him when I was seven and had seen him a

621
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:31,880
Speaker 4: few times as a teen. I remember that he was

622
00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:34,960
Speaker 4: a very shady person. I disagreed and told him that

623
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:38,120
Speaker 4: it was a bad idea, expressing concern for their well being.

624
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:41,200
Speaker 4: My mother told me he was good at his job

625
00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 4: and that they wanted to start a business with him.

626
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 1: Oh, I foresee no fraud or sketchiness in the future.

627
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:52,240
Speaker 4: She also told me to stop crying so loudly because

628
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:54,880
Speaker 4: it was two am and she had worked the next day.

629
00:30:55,360 --> 00:31:00,200
Speaker 4: Can you imagine that. Yes, I was crying because I

630
00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:03,000
Speaker 4: was afraid he would put them in harm's way, because

631
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 4: I knew what kind of person he was. In nutshell,

632
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:10,880
Speaker 4: I was right. My adopted brother didn't take care of

633
00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:15,200
Speaker 4: his dog. He took narcotics and put my father in

634
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:17,880
Speaker 4: harm's away the day they were moving stuff because he

635
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:21,440
Speaker 4: stole a car from his job and disappeared for three days.

636
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:26,320
Speaker 1: Now, if his business is stealing assets from his place

637
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:28,640
Speaker 1: of business, he's pretty good at his job.

638
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:30,680
Speaker 4: I don't know this guy. Seems like he's playing grand

639
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:33,440
Speaker 4: theft auto. He's well, I mean literally he did it, but.

640
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:35,280
Speaker 1: He's playing life with five stars.

641
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 3: Yeah.

642
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:38,640
Speaker 4: My parents swore he was out of the house and

643
00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:41,120
Speaker 4: that they were done with him. But I saw how

644
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:45,160
Speaker 4: my mother quickly went from FM mode to oh you

645
00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:51,160
Speaker 4: poor thing, and they took him back. Yes, again, that's crazy.

646
00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:55,160
Speaker 4: Guess what, To nobody's surprise, he messed up again when

647
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:57,360
Speaker 4: my parents left to visit my grandparents.

648
00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:00,880
Speaker 3: He left his dog in a hot garage, bad jail.

649
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:02,240
Speaker 1: We're sending him to jail now.

650
00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 4: My fiance and I got the dog out good. When

651
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:09,560
Speaker 4: my parents returned, they finally punted him out. I had

652
00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:12,160
Speaker 4: noticed before that he washed his dog's bowl in my

653
00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 4: bathroom sink, so I jokingly said, I'll be in your

654
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:18,640
Speaker 4: kitchen sink if you keep doing that. I wouldn't it

655
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:21,280
Speaker 4: was a joke. He cried to my father about it,

656
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:24,520
Speaker 4: and I heard from my father. Remember that bathroom isn't

657
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:28,240
Speaker 4: full of yours, and you can move out. Nobody holds

658
00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:29,800
Speaker 4: you here by horse. Wow.

659
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 3: Wow, Okay, okay, dude, was that a joke?

660
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm really gonna pee in the sink. Yeah that

661
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:36,960
Speaker 1: I totally meant that.

662
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:40,920
Speaker 4: This fiasco was about two months ago. About the bathroom,

663
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 4: We have two bathrooms, and the one I'm talking about

664
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:46,320
Speaker 4: is in the bedroom part of the house. Only I

665
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 4: clean it with the turgeons that I buy. Only I

666
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 4: supply it with everything, including the toilet paper that guess

667
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:57,400
Speaker 4: what they use. Everything in that bathroom is bought, cleaned,

668
00:32:57,440 --> 00:33:01,000
Speaker 4: and supplied by me, except for the laundry basket my

669
00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:04,400
Speaker 4: mother leaves there. Coming back to moving out, I wanted

670
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:07,240
Speaker 4: to tell them once everything was finalized with my fiance

671
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:08,040
Speaker 4: by my side.

672
00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:10,040
Speaker 3: Yes, my fiance is.

673
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:12,800
Speaker 4: Flying here to help me pack and move out. Recently,

674
00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:14,960
Speaker 4: my father saw my fiance and told me he doesn't

675
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 4: want to see him here unless it's necessary.

676
00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, I plan to.

677
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:23,480
Speaker 4: Tell him myself the day my fance arrives. Of course,

678
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:26,120
Speaker 4: when moving out, I'll pay them rent, clean my room

679
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:28,520
Speaker 4: and bath and the bathroom, and make sure I don't

680
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 4: leave a mess or any unpaid rent behind like my

681
00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:34,280
Speaker 4: adopted brother did. We'll move the boxes to the garage,

682
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:36,960
Speaker 4: where they'll wait for the moving company, arriving two days

683
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,600
Speaker 4: after our departure. The only thing I'll ask my parents

684
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:41,640
Speaker 4: to do is open the garage when the movers come.

685
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:43,880
Speaker 4: Any advice please.

686
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 3: We have some comments. I mean, eh, I think this

687
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:48,840
Speaker 3: is a part of adulthood.

688
00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:51,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't. I don't even think it needs to

689
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:54,600
Speaker 1: be a secret that you're leaving. Yeah, I think, especially

690
00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:57,440
Speaker 1: you know your dad dropping the whole like, no.

691
00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:59,400
Speaker 3: One's making you stay here, it's like forcing you.

692
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:01,640
Speaker 1: You literally they told me no one's making me stay here,

693
00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:04,120
Speaker 1: So you guys gonna foop around and make me stay.

694
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:07,440
Speaker 4: Nowt And the crazy thing is you're doing the right thing.

695
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:09,759
Speaker 4: You're like, I'm gonna clean everything. I'm clean the room,

696
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:12,560
Speaker 4: I'm gonna pay the rent, I'm doing it all by

697
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:13,040
Speaker 4: the book.

698
00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:15,960
Speaker 3: What's gonna stop? What's stopping me?

699
00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:19,600
Speaker 4: What's you know? They can't stop me. I'm I've finalized everything.

700
00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:22,279
Speaker 4: I feel like just telling them unless, I mean, what

701
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:24,920
Speaker 4: are they gonna do? Yeah, in hindsight, what are they

702
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:25,560
Speaker 4: actually gonna do?

703
00:34:25,680 --> 00:34:27,680
Speaker 1: I mean, the one thing I'm thinking is that if

704
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:30,520
Speaker 1: you keep all of your stuff in the garage, I mean,

705
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:34,600
Speaker 1: you know, it doesn't sound like they would, but like

706
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:37,160
Speaker 1: they could mess with the stuff in the boxes. They

707
00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:39,160
Speaker 1: can make you lose stuff. They might not let the

708
00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:41,960
Speaker 1: movers get in the garage. You know, that's the vector

709
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:43,360
Speaker 1: where I see stuff going wrong.

710
00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:45,480
Speaker 4: No, I think you're doing everything right. And we have

711
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:48,759
Speaker 4: some comments. See what they say, I'm number one? Better

712
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:52,080
Speaker 4: to tell them after you leave. Think those five days

713
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:54,719
Speaker 4: could mean trouble, That mean you are harmed, or you

714
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:57,040
Speaker 4: don't leave, pick only what you need.

715
00:34:57,560 --> 00:34:59,840
Speaker 1: I don't know if we're doing that level.

716
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:03,200
Speaker 4: Of He doesn't seem like it's that situation. Comedy continues saying,

717
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:05,719
Speaker 4: don't worry about what's in the boxes. Unless if you

718
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:08,600
Speaker 4: have a good reason to you can donate it, or

719
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:11,799
Speaker 4: you've sold it, or you've dropping it off. Possessions can

720
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:15,560
Speaker 4: be rebought. What you thought was irreplaceable, You have your memories.

721
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:18,879
Speaker 4: Just get out, but say nothing till you are safe

722
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:22,440
Speaker 4: somewhere else. OPI responds with, I have to tell them

723
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:24,800
Speaker 4: because my father will see we are moving the boxes,

724
00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:28,080
Speaker 4: so it's kind of difficult not to be noticed. My

725
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:30,600
Speaker 4: father doesn't work right now, though it is hard to

726
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:31,680
Speaker 4: pass unnoticed.

727
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:34,520
Speaker 1: I mean, I will say, like that comment was solid

728
00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:38,040
Speaker 1: for like anyone who is in like a dangerous.

729
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:40,319
Speaker 4: Irange situation, Yeah, that makes sense. But I don't think

730
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:41,640
Speaker 4: it's like extremely dire.

731
00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:43,759
Speaker 3: I think it's just like just get out of here now.

732
00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:46,280
Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't think like Op, he's getting

733
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:47,680
Speaker 1: locked in the cellar.

734
00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:51,400
Speaker 3: And no, no, no, that's like intense.

735
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:53,120
Speaker 1: But that is something that it's like, Yeah, if you

736
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:55,160
Speaker 1: are in a situation where you're like, ah, what happens

737
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:56,719
Speaker 1: if they find out, it's like you just need to

738
00:35:56,719 --> 00:35:58,279
Speaker 1: get out. If you're in a place where you're worry

739
00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:01,879
Speaker 1: about your literal like physical safety and well being, get

740
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:03,960
Speaker 1: none of your stuff is really that important.

741
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:06,239
Speaker 3: You are the most important, hope, he continue saying.

742
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:08,480
Speaker 4: So I wish that will happen, but they will know

743
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:11,200
Speaker 4: and my fiancee will show up with me at the doorstep.

744
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:14,759
Speaker 3: And here's an update. Oh, I hope it goes well too.

745
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:15,920
Speaker 2: Hi. Everyone.

746
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:18,960
Speaker 4: The talk with my parents came before my fiancee arrived.

747
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:21,840
Speaker 4: I told them the facts calmly and so that I

748
00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:24,480
Speaker 4: made the decision a week ago. Why didn't you tell

749
00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:27,160
Speaker 4: us earlier, they asked. I told him I wanted to

750
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:30,120
Speaker 4: wait until everything was finalized. My father accused me of

751
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:34,200
Speaker 4: knowing sooner and not telling them. I said that wasn't true.

752
00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:38,040
Speaker 4: I made the call myself and that everything was organized.

753
00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:40,040
Speaker 4: I told him I have a job to cover the

754
00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:43,520
Speaker 4: deposit and everything with my fiance They asked for details,

755
00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:46,319
Speaker 4: and I gave them the city, but not the full address.

756
00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:48,840
Speaker 4: My father said, you haven't been able to think on

757
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:51,000
Speaker 4: your own since a year and a half ago, and

758
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:53,759
Speaker 4: you treat us like trash. A year and a half

759
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:57,400
Speaker 4: ago I started becoming emotionally and financially independent.

760
00:36:58,040 --> 00:36:58,520
Speaker 1: There it is.

761
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:01,560
Speaker 4: I told him that if he thinks that, I won't

762
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:03,799
Speaker 4: take it from him. They tried to scare me by

763
00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:06,040
Speaker 4: saying I'd be doing everything on my own, and then

764
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:07,239
Speaker 4: my fiance wouldn't help.

765
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,120
Speaker 3: You're with is he helps a lot.

766
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:13,680
Speaker 1: So funny that the guy who's literally flying in to

767
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:16,040
Speaker 1: help her move, they're trying to be like, yeah, that

768
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,160
Speaker 1: guy's not gonna help you at all.

769
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:21,399
Speaker 4: I would just revert back, like Dad, you said it, Yeah,

770
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:22,440
Speaker 4: no one's holding me here.

771
00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:24,759
Speaker 1: You literally said no one's making me stay here. I

772
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:27,840
Speaker 1: would literally were like, quote leave you leave today.

773
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:31,479
Speaker 3: Quote unquote Dad, So what am I doing? Hope?

774
00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:34,160
Speaker 4: He continues saying maybe he's not super strong, but he

775
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:37,440
Speaker 4: likes to cook, clean and plan dates for us. They

776
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:39,600
Speaker 4: will tell me that living costs will be too much

777
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:42,000
Speaker 4: and that I need to remember I'll have to buy

778
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:45,799
Speaker 4: everything like bowls and food. I said, I'm ready for it.

779
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:50,719
Speaker 4: They mostly my mother, started minimizing my trauma with my grandparents,

780
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:53,120
Speaker 4: saying that a few months ago, I'd say they were

781
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,319
Speaker 4: awful to me and that I shouldn't visit them if

782
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 4: I went to therapy because of them. When I wasn't therapy,

783
00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:00,960
Speaker 4: they often said I should visit anyway. I don't know

784
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:03,000
Speaker 4: if I messed up there, but yes, I had a

785
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:06,440
Speaker 4: complicated relationship with my grandparents. I really tried to make

786
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:09,440
Speaker 4: it work for the sake of my family. Now, when

787
00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:11,799
Speaker 4: I said I wanted to visit them for Christmas, I

788
00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:13,840
Speaker 4: found out my mother had talked to my older brother

789
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,640
Speaker 4: and aunt about it, just that they called me insane

790
00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 4: for saying those things about my grandparents. This part is

791
00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:21,759
Speaker 4: messy for me, and I'm trying to work it out.

792
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:23,600
Speaker 4: The only thing I agreed with her on was that

793
00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:25,359
Speaker 4: I had a mess in my head for a long

794
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:27,400
Speaker 4: time about them. She asked me for the reason, and

795
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:30,160
Speaker 4: when I explained, they didn't accept that it was bad

796
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:32,680
Speaker 4: for me. At this point, I think about cutting all

797
00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:33,720
Speaker 4: ties with my family.

798
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:35,080
Speaker 3: You'll betrayed.

799
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:37,440
Speaker 4: They started pushing the idea that my fiance is a

800
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:41,240
Speaker 4: parasite feeding off of my money. He isn't, he buys

801
00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 4: me things most of the time, he doesn't work, he

802
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 4: manipulates me, and that they're just worried. I really think

803
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:51,560
Speaker 4: this is just gonna be so good for you.

804
00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:54,000
Speaker 1: I agree wholeheartedly.

805
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:56,560
Speaker 4: Is gonna be so good for you to just not

806
00:38:56,680 --> 00:39:00,600
Speaker 4: deal with them, you know, being in the same household

807
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:04,239
Speaker 4: with them, living your life, being the adult that you are.

808
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:05,800
Speaker 3: I think you'll be okay.

809
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:06,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think.

810
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:08,680
Speaker 4: They're gonna after a you know, at first it's gonna

811
00:39:08,719 --> 00:39:12,719
Speaker 4: be a little awkward and weird, but over time, I

812
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:16,320
Speaker 4: think you're hopefully, you know, things all come to fruition

813
00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:19,000
Speaker 4: and it all works out. Your parents are gonna be

814
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:21,439
Speaker 4: cool about it. They'll they'll see that you can prove

815
00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:25,000
Speaker 4: them wrong in that living your life and you don't

816
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:25,439
Speaker 4: need them.

817
00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:29,360
Speaker 1: I think you can't really control how they're going to

818
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:35,600
Speaker 1: sort of emotionally react to you becoming independent, but I

819
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:38,440
Speaker 1: think you know, you don't have to go scorched earth,

820
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:40,000
Speaker 1: and it can just be more of like a hey,

821
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:42,440
Speaker 1: you know, you say I'm treating you like trash. But

822
00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:45,200
Speaker 1: it just feels like since I've become more independent, you

823
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:51,200
Speaker 1: guys are like less accepting of me and of that fact.

824
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:54,480
Speaker 1: And I think, you know, that's really what's at play here.

825
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:57,359
Speaker 4: It's time for that baby bird to fly with that nest,

826
00:39:57,800 --> 00:39:58,840
Speaker 4: go and finish up the story.

827
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:02,120
Speaker 3: My fiance does work. I didn't tell them that I

828
00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:05,520
Speaker 3: started a business with him that involves selling eighteen plus photos.

829
00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:10,919
Speaker 4: Oh spasive business. Interesting, That's what I want my job

830
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,560
Speaker 4: to be, and we both enjoy it. They would say

831
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:16,799
Speaker 4: he forced me, which isn't true. For the record, I

832
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:19,400
Speaker 4: pay rent to them. I pay for my own toilet tries,

833
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:24,000
Speaker 4: toilet paper, cleaning, the urgents, et cetera. I'm writing this

834
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:26,720
Speaker 4: fresh after the talk, and my hands are still shaking.

835
00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:29,600
Speaker 1: Oh oh, it's like ooh, okay.

836
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:32,120
Speaker 4: If it feels messy, feel free to ask questions, wish

837
00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:34,040
Speaker 4: me luck. I think it's this is just like the

838
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:36,280
Speaker 4: first This is literally the first time. Oh he's really

839
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:40,120
Speaker 4: done like a big adult thing. Yeah, like without her parents.

840
00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:43,000
Speaker 4: Like she's been under the roof, she's been under their

841
00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:47,200
Speaker 4: parental control, and this is like really her first time.

842
00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:48,759
Speaker 3: I'm doing this on my own.

843
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:51,960
Speaker 4: I'm i am flying the nest without anyone's I'm riding

844
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:55,880
Speaker 4: the bicycle with nobody hand like holding my back or

845
00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:56,920
Speaker 4: like running with me.

846
00:40:57,360 --> 00:40:59,560
Speaker 3: I'm without the without the.

847
00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:03,240
Speaker 1: You're on a spicy tandem bike with your fiance.

848
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:06,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's the end of this story. We're gonna

849
00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:07,600
Speaker 3: go on to the next one.

850
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:10,640
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Riley, your favorite Southern Bale. We're gonna

851
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:13,479
Speaker 1: get back to these stories. But here's three minutes worth

852
00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:14,880
Speaker 1: of that form our sponsors.

853
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:20,120
Speaker 2: My girlfriend confessed her betrayal after lying both to me

854
00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:21,840
Speaker 2: and her a fair partner.

855
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:24,239
Speaker 3: She's a double liar, so my girlfriend.

856
00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:27,160
Speaker 2: We'll call her Audrey and I met in high school.

857
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:31,120
Speaker 2: We started dating in college. We both came off brutal

858
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:34,040
Speaker 2: breakups and we kind of gravitated towards each other in

859
00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:34,480
Speaker 2: the moment.

860
00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:36,520
Speaker 3: Uh A trauma relationship.

861
00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:39,839
Speaker 2: I love her deeply, but our relationship has been tough

862
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:43,080
Speaker 2: for sure. We both dragged a lot of baggage and

863
00:41:43,080 --> 00:41:47,040
Speaker 2: our relationship is made of alternating rocky and smooth patches.

864
00:41:47,239 --> 00:41:49,279
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from jump Punter. And if

865
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:51,160
Speaker 2: you want us to make your own stories, go to

866
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:54,640
Speaker 2: the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. I'm Carly, I'm Keon,

867
00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:58,200
Speaker 2: and I'm Angie. Uh and we're here to give good advice. Goofully,

868
00:41:58,239 --> 00:42:00,360
Speaker 2: but we don't have all the answers. You know what

869
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:02,200
Speaker 2: we would do. Let us know what you would do

870
00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:06,200
Speaker 2: in the comments, and op says. So she got accepted

871
00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:09,880
Speaker 2: to a fairly prestigious coding school in April. I actually

872
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:13,000
Speaker 2: planned on applying to it, but received a job offer

873
00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:15,960
Speaker 2: I couldn't refuse. She had just been let go from

874
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:19,160
Speaker 2: her job. I encouraged her to apply instead and she

875
00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:22,319
Speaker 2: got in. The Thing is, she has a ton of

876
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:25,759
Speaker 2: debt from school and unpaid credit cards, so she had

877
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:30,120
Speaker 2: no money and her credit score was garbage. Her parents

878
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:33,160
Speaker 2: refused to help, so I co signed the loan with

879
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:36,640
Speaker 2: her about fourteen K and I paid a two thousand

880
00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:39,719
Speaker 2: dollars deposit to get her into classes, and about one

881
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:42,360
Speaker 2: hundred and forty a month as part of the loan agreement.

882
00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:44,880
Speaker 2: All in, I've spent a little over twenty five hundred

883
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:48,200
Speaker 2: for her. I've also let her live in my house

884
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:51,200
Speaker 2: for free, and I've been buying her birth control and

885
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:55,319
Speaker 2: other prescriptions and all her food, her shampoo, you name it.

886
00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:58,240
Speaker 2: Over the summer, she started to get a little weird.

887
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:01,960
Speaker 2: They're all red flags now, but at the time she

888
00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:05,800
Speaker 2: always had an excuse and nothing seemed particularly a miss.

889
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:09,360
Speaker 2: She changed the password on her phone, was being aloof

890
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:13,160
Speaker 2: quick to get annoyed stuff like that. Now the last

891
00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:15,839
Speaker 2: few months or so, she's been driving into the city

892
00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:18,239
Speaker 2: where her coding school is, which is about a twenty

893
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:21,480
Speaker 2: minute drive from my house, and staying there for days

894
00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:24,080
Speaker 2: on end. I'll call the town Houston.

895
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:28,360
Speaker 4: This isn't Texas, FYI, Houston, We're about to have a problem.

896
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:31,680
Speaker 2: She kept telling me that gas was getting expensive, and

897
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:34,200
Speaker 2: she gets so much done while she's down there. If

898
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:37,200
Speaker 2: that it made sense. Some other people in her class

899
00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:39,279
Speaker 2: had a house together, and she said she would be

900
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:42,600
Speaker 2: staying with them. It started to be a problem because

901
00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:45,279
Speaker 2: she would just go silent for forty eight hours at

902
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:49,399
Speaker 2: a time, never returning text or calls. We would fight

903
00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:51,879
Speaker 2: about it when she finally came home, and she would

904
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:54,960
Speaker 2: say things like, I know it's not okay, I'm sorry,

905
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:58,080
Speaker 2: I'm terrible. It won't happen again, and then it would

906
00:43:58,120 --> 00:43:58,720
Speaker 2: happen again.

907
00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:02,600
Speaker 4: Ah, the good old actions speak louder than words. Yeah,

908
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:04,080
Speaker 4: but we're only just getting words.

909
00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:08,680
Speaker 2: We also live in a state with legal devil's lettuce,

910
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:12,839
Speaker 2: and she started smoking Devil's lettuce all the time. Within

911
00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:15,560
Speaker 2: a few months, she went from rarely smoking to smoking

912
00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 2: multiple times a day, wake and bake, smoke before bed,

913
00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:22,600
Speaker 2: smoke to do homework. I did it with her a bunch,

914
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:26,040
Speaker 2: but only because she would ask. I hardly initiated it.

915
00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:29,759
Speaker 2: She kept getting distant. Like I mentioned above, when she

916
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:33,479
Speaker 2: would come home, she would sleep until three pm, come down,

917
00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:36,880
Speaker 2: get breakfast, go back to sleep, wake up, spend an

918
00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:39,799
Speaker 2: hour getting ready in private, then pack her stove up

919
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:42,840
Speaker 2: and go back to Houston to work on stuff. She

920
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:46,560
Speaker 2: also refused to have spicy sleep with me. I think

921
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:49,319
Speaker 2: we've done it twice since April. She kept saying she

922
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:52,120
Speaker 2: wanted to want to have spicy sleep with me, but

923
00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:55,440
Speaker 2: didn't want to actually have spicy sleep with me. A

924
00:44:55,440 --> 00:44:57,919
Speaker 2: moment of hubers read it. But I'm a fairly good

925
00:44:57,920 --> 00:45:01,160
Speaker 2: looking guy. Cool, I hit the gym a lot, I'm

926
00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:05,440
Speaker 2: in good shape. I think I'm spicy, relatedly attractive. Audrey

927
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:08,880
Speaker 2: kept telling me that her antidepressants were unliving her libido,

928
00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:12,000
Speaker 2: and I bought another prescription for her to counteract it.

929
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:14,560
Speaker 2: It didn't work. I didn't like that part of the story,

930
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:17,600
Speaker 2: but it's okay. We'll keep going. She kept telling me, well,

931
00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:19,480
Speaker 2: I wanted to do it yesterday, but I was on

932
00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:22,200
Speaker 2: my period, or well, I wanted to, but you were

933
00:45:22,200 --> 00:45:24,959
Speaker 2: already asleep, so I didn't. It got to a point

934
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:26,759
Speaker 2: that I said I didn't want to hear about her

935
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:30,239
Speaker 2: intentions because they didn't mean anything to me anymore. I

936
00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:32,640
Speaker 2: think you can tell that we were having issues, but

937
00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:35,359
Speaker 2: I thought they were temporary and we were working through them.

938
00:45:35,880 --> 00:45:38,160
Speaker 2: I thought the stress of the class was pushing her

939
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:42,440
Speaker 2: to her limits we hadn't experienced. But it's been six years.

940
00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:45,680
Speaker 3: Six years, my guy what are we doing?

941
00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:49,200
Speaker 2: We've had way worse issues before, and I thought we

942
00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:53,680
Speaker 2: were working on it. I wasn't particularly satisfied with our relationship,

943
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:56,120
Speaker 2: but I thought maybe if I could hold out, she

944
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 2: could get a job after she graduated her school, got

945
00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:03,280
Speaker 2: some money away at her debt, feel fulfilled professionally, maybe

946
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:06,400
Speaker 2: help curb her depression, and I could get my old

947
00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:09,960
Speaker 2: Audrey back. Depressed. Audrey has been a real hassle, but

948
00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:12,960
Speaker 2: I love her. I wanted to make it work. I

949
00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:15,440
Speaker 2: didn't want to abandon her just because it got hard.

950
00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:18,120
Speaker 2: About a year and a half ago, I broke it

951
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:21,280
Speaker 2: off with her because she was showing signs of codependency.

952
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:25,000
Speaker 2: For those who don't know, it's the person who derives

953
00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:28,279
Speaker 2: all their personal value from another person. So she only

954
00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:30,919
Speaker 2: feels pretty if I tell her she's pretty. She needs

955
00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:35,040
Speaker 2: a person to validate her existence, etc. The manifestation of

956
00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:37,799
Speaker 2: those feelings are nothing you do is ever good enough.

957
00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:40,800
Speaker 2: They'll always find something you could have done better and

958
00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:43,359
Speaker 2: nag at you and make you feel guilty for not

959
00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:46,720
Speaker 2: doing more for them. They need to spend every waking

960
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:50,160
Speaker 2: second with you. Anytime you spend away, they'll resent you

961
00:46:50,239 --> 00:46:51,800
Speaker 2: for it and believe that time.

962
00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:55,400
Speaker 3: Is for them, the very inner g vampire s situation.

963
00:46:55,920 --> 00:46:59,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, that sounds even beyond just like COO dependency, we

964
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:02,160
Speaker 2: dress well beyond that.

965
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:08,319
Speaker 4: What are we appointing? This is like this being brought

966
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:10,440
Speaker 4: up of like how can we change this? Or are

967
00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:13,080
Speaker 4: we just letting it just allowing this to happen. Because

968
00:47:13,120 --> 00:47:15,480
Speaker 4: if Opie, if you're just allowing this to happen, like, oh,

969
00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 4: she'll she'll figure it out eventually, you too are being

970
00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:21,880
Speaker 4: an a hole to yourself of just like not addressing

971
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:24,120
Speaker 4: the problem in the room. You're just like she's depressed.

972
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:25,080
Speaker 4: She says she's depressed.

973
00:47:25,280 --> 00:47:27,400
Speaker 3: I'll let her be depressed and like she'll figure it

974
00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:29,200
Speaker 3: out after this.

975
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:33,680
Speaker 2: I mean she's trying stuff, she's on an antidepressant. Yeah, I

976
00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:37,759
Speaker 2: don't know. Let's see, it was driving me crazy, so

977
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:40,000
Speaker 2: I broke it off and told her that the depression

978
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:43,280
Speaker 2: was getting too severe for me to handle. I needed

979
00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:45,600
Speaker 2: space and she needed to try and work on her

980
00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:48,560
Speaker 2: crap on her own. She went to therapy, was put

981
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:51,880
Speaker 2: on antidepressants, admitted that she knew what she was doing

982
00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:54,320
Speaker 2: was wrong, but the depression drove her to badger me

983
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:57,040
Speaker 2: and pick fights with me and crave more for me,

984
00:47:57,160 --> 00:47:59,960
Speaker 2: no matter how much I gave. I thought she's working

985
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:02,800
Speaker 2: to fix it. Why can't I? So we got back together.

986
00:48:03,440 --> 00:48:05,640
Speaker 2: It's been a year and a half of spicy sleep

987
00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:08,560
Speaker 2: and cuddling and dates and movie nights and planning our

988
00:48:08,600 --> 00:48:11,880
Speaker 2: future a couple stuff. This is important because she mentions

989
00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:15,680
Speaker 2: it later now to labor day. She had left Sunday

990
00:48:15,719 --> 00:48:18,080
Speaker 2: night to go to Houston, like she usually had been.

991
00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:21,520
Speaker 2: Her last words to me before she left were I'm

992
00:48:21,560 --> 00:48:24,439
Speaker 2: almost done. She knows I've been frustrated with how much

993
00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:27,799
Speaker 2: time she's spending away. The plan was that she would

994
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:30,399
Speaker 2: get a sweet job, we would move to San Francisco,

995
00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:33,560
Speaker 2: and I could quit my job or work remotely, and

996
00:48:33,600 --> 00:48:36,520
Speaker 2: she could take care of me. Because I have quite

997
00:48:36,560 --> 00:48:39,480
Speaker 2: literally been taking care of her for six years. I

998
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:42,600
Speaker 2: kept calling myself her future stay at home boyfriend. I

999
00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:45,240
Speaker 2: was obviously planning to get my own job, but I digress.

1000
00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:48,040
Speaker 2: She asked me to walk her to her car and

1001
00:48:48,160 --> 00:48:51,279
Speaker 2: pucker up for a kiss, then left. The next day's

1002
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:54,200
Speaker 2: labor day, I texted her asking if she had classed today.

1003
00:48:54,280 --> 00:48:56,960
Speaker 2: No reply. Then I sent her a Reddit link that

1004
00:48:57,080 --> 00:49:00,480
Speaker 2: was of a hedgehog yawning Because she's always wanted to Hedgehog.

1005
00:49:01,160 --> 00:49:04,600
Speaker 2: Then a couple hours later, I get this message, Hey,

1006
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:08,360
Speaker 2: I am in love with someone else. I need to

1007
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:12,800
Speaker 2: keep yours and my relationship strictly business. The loan stuff.

1008
00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:15,440
Speaker 2: If you need to talk about it, we will in

1009
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:19,120
Speaker 2: person only, please, but not today. He send the text

1010
00:49:19,120 --> 00:49:21,640
Speaker 2: to the wrong person. Is that what happens?

1011
00:49:22,080 --> 00:49:24,320
Speaker 3: I'm assuming it was the wrong person.

1012
00:49:25,040 --> 00:49:28,080
Speaker 2: It's hard to describe, but my heart imploded when I

1013
00:49:28,120 --> 00:49:31,719
Speaker 2: read that. Six years, all the ups and downs, all

1014
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:34,000
Speaker 2: the time she told me I was the only one

1015
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:36,640
Speaker 2: she could ever rely on, and all I get is

1016
00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:39,759
Speaker 2: a text. I called her, She didn't pick up. I

1017
00:49:39,840 --> 00:49:42,759
Speaker 2: texted back, what the f? She said, or we can

1018
00:49:42,800 --> 00:49:44,840
Speaker 2: talk about it over text? I said, what are you

1019
00:49:44,920 --> 00:49:48,960
Speaker 2: talking about? Is this serious? She said it is? I said,

1020
00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:51,719
Speaker 2: who is it? She said his name and after a

1021
00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:53,839
Speaker 2: quick Google search, it turned out to be a guy

1022
00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:56,920
Speaker 2: in her class, the class I told her to take,

1023
00:49:57,160 --> 00:49:58,440
Speaker 2: and the one that I paid for.

1024
00:49:59,480 --> 00:50:02,400
Speaker 3: What was for? It was for op what's the loan stuff?

1025
00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:03,080
Speaker 3: What do you mean?

1026
00:50:03,239 --> 00:50:06,799
Speaker 2: I guess the class loans. I didn't realize that they

1027
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:08,160
Speaker 2: had like a loan deal there.

1028
00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:09,880
Speaker 4: No, yeah, it was just like I'll pay for your

1029
00:50:09,880 --> 00:50:11,480
Speaker 4: class but just like pay me back. I was like,

1030
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:18,800
Speaker 4: about twenty five hundred, Dan, dang Houston, we have a problem.

1031
00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:22,120
Speaker 2: I then asked, have you been sleeping with him? She said,

1032
00:50:22,160 --> 00:50:25,480
Speaker 2: of course, not going to lie, and that is what hurts.

1033
00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:28,760
Speaker 2: Of course, Like duh, it's the simplest thing in the world.

1034
00:50:29,239 --> 00:50:31,680
Speaker 2: I said, I don't even know what to say. How

1035
00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:34,279
Speaker 2: could you? Then I told her to come get all

1036
00:50:34,320 --> 00:50:36,000
Speaker 2: her stuff out of my house and that it would

1037
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:38,799
Speaker 2: be in the yard. She said, we broke up over

1038
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:40,840
Speaker 2: a year and a half ago. How could I what?

1039
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:43,799
Speaker 2: I said, this is kind of bus to do over

1040
00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:46,920
Speaker 2: a text. She said, it's not bus. I'm coming to

1041
00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:50,000
Speaker 2: get my stuff. Does she think that they're still broken up?

1042
00:50:50,520 --> 00:50:51,160
Speaker 3: I don't know.

1043
00:50:52,040 --> 00:50:54,720
Speaker 2: Well read it. She never got her stuff. It's sitting

1044
00:50:54,760 --> 00:50:57,040
Speaker 2: in my garage and she's supposed to stop by after

1045
00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:59,880
Speaker 2: her class today to get it. I called her several

1046
00:50:59,840 --> 00:51:02,280
Speaker 2: times during this. She refused to answer.

1047
00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:04,279
Speaker 4: She's probably with the other guy, and she's like, uh,

1048
00:51:04,719 --> 00:51:06,759
Speaker 4: this guy just won't leave me alone.

1049
00:51:07,160 --> 00:51:10,080
Speaker 3: This guy sucks. Ohp sucks because he just won't let

1050
00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:10,520
Speaker 3: me alone.

1051
00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:13,759
Speaker 4: Oh pie, I would I wouldn't even not have I

1052
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:15,520
Speaker 4: would be like, oh, your stuff, you're not coming to

1053
00:51:15,520 --> 00:51:17,320
Speaker 4: get your stuff yet on the street.

1054
00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:21,360
Speaker 2: Yeah. She stopped answering my texts after that. I assumed

1055
00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:24,880
Speaker 2: this has been going on since the summer. I'm disgusted.

1056
00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:29,200
Speaker 2: I'm angry. I feel played and used for free money,

1057
00:51:29,239 --> 00:51:32,880
Speaker 2: free housing, free food, and free prescriptions. I have a

1058
00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:37,120
Speaker 2: text from last Tuesday, six days prior where she said ee,

1059
00:51:37,120 --> 00:51:40,640
Speaker 2: I love and miss you. Last Thursday, four days earlier,

1060
00:51:40,719 --> 00:51:42,600
Speaker 2: I have a text where she said hi, Hi, Hi,

1061
00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:44,799
Speaker 2: hi Hi, like she was excited to see me and

1062
00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:47,440
Speaker 2: talk to me. Then Monday, this crowd.

1063
00:51:47,560 --> 00:51:49,840
Speaker 3: That's how they get you. That's how they get you.

1064
00:51:50,040 --> 00:51:50,239
Speaker 2: There.

1065
00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:51,520
Speaker 3: They're gonna cut you off guard.

1066
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:54,080
Speaker 4: You're like, oh, I love you so much, let's span

1067
00:51:54,160 --> 00:51:57,040
Speaker 4: our lives together. And then three days later you're like, mmmm, sorry,

1068
00:51:57,080 --> 00:51:58,000
Speaker 4: I've been seeing somebody else.

1069
00:51:58,040 --> 00:52:03,080
Speaker 2: I love them same Yeah. Uh. I sent her an

1070
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:05,919
Speaker 2: email telling her I wanted off the loan. I want

1071
00:52:05,960 --> 00:52:08,080
Speaker 2: my twenty five hundred dollars back for the class and

1072
00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:11,520
Speaker 2: get her stuff out. She said she was coming to

1073
00:52:11,560 --> 00:52:13,680
Speaker 2: day to get her stuff. She's working on the loan

1074
00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:17,680
Speaker 2: and said she'll pay me back as soon as she can. Reddit.

1075
00:52:17,920 --> 00:52:21,000
Speaker 2: I don't know what to do. I'm angry. I'm mourning

1076
00:52:21,040 --> 00:52:24,120
Speaker 2: the loss of my relationship. I came to a realization

1077
00:52:24,239 --> 00:52:26,200
Speaker 2: that the person I knew and fell in love with

1078
00:52:26,400 --> 00:52:30,879
Speaker 2: is gone. She was replaced by this monster. She saw

1079
00:52:30,920 --> 00:52:33,520
Speaker 2: an opportunity at a better life and she took it.

1080
00:52:34,040 --> 00:52:36,120
Speaker 2: But she'll get a new life with a new boyfriend,

1081
00:52:36,200 --> 00:52:38,720
Speaker 2: with a sweet job, and moved to a beautiful place.

1082
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:41,719
Speaker 2: And it was all courtesy of my bank account. Well,

1083
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:44,160
Speaker 2: she better pay you back. My friends have been super

1084
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:46,560
Speaker 2: supportive during this, telling me that they don't even know

1085
00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:49,480
Speaker 2: who this person is that could do this stuff, that

1086
00:52:49,560 --> 00:52:51,839
Speaker 2: they thought she was being really weird the last time

1087
00:52:51,840 --> 00:52:55,719
Speaker 2: they saw. She is a completely different person now. I'm

1088
00:52:55,760 --> 00:52:58,760
Speaker 2: sorry if this was a little rambling. My ultimate question

1089
00:52:58,960 --> 00:53:02,920
Speaker 2: is am I missing something? Am I crazy? My friends

1090
00:53:02,960 --> 00:53:06,000
Speaker 2: are in shock about how messed up this is. They've

1091
00:53:06,040 --> 00:53:08,600
Speaker 2: asked their friends who don't know either of us. They

1092
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:12,880
Speaker 2: think it's unbelievable. Yet it's happening to me right now.

1093
00:53:13,480 --> 00:53:15,239
Speaker 2: Is there a side of this that I can't see

1094
00:53:15,280 --> 00:53:19,680
Speaker 2: because I'm too close. Her texts are so nonchalant, invalidating

1095
00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:23,400
Speaker 2: and negating the last year and a half, pretending like

1096
00:53:23,440 --> 00:53:27,400
Speaker 2: it didn't happen, like we weren't together. She was living

1097
00:53:27,400 --> 00:53:30,600
Speaker 2: at my house, we slept in the same bed. Of

1098
00:53:30,719 --> 00:53:33,239
Speaker 2: course she's sleeping with them, Like what else would I

1099
00:53:33,280 --> 00:53:36,400
Speaker 2: expect that. I don't deserve a face to face conversation

1100
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:39,520
Speaker 2: about any of this, or even a phone call ed.

1101
00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:42,319
Speaker 2: I also know this isn't a personal finance but some

1102
00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:44,720
Speaker 2: advice on my options with the loan and money stuff

1103
00:53:44,760 --> 00:53:48,120
Speaker 2: is always welcome comments from Opete. So I've gotten some

1104
00:53:48,200 --> 00:53:50,880
Speaker 2: sentiment of cut all ties and also enter into an

1105
00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:53,759
Speaker 2: agreement with her to get my money back. My experience

1106
00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:55,640
Speaker 2: with her thus far in life has been that she

1107
00:53:55,640 --> 00:53:58,359
Speaker 2: would be good on her word for money, but now

1108
00:53:58,400 --> 00:54:01,400
Speaker 2: it seems her word isn't worth much at the end

1109
00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:03,680
Speaker 2: of the day. My parents are my rock and told

1110
00:54:03,719 --> 00:54:06,360
Speaker 2: me not to worry about money. If I could just

1111
00:54:06,440 --> 00:54:09,080
Speaker 2: give her stuff back, walk away from the twenty five

1112
00:54:09,160 --> 00:54:12,920
Speaker 2: hundred and cut contact with her, shouldn't I just do that? Oh,

1113
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:15,799
Speaker 2: get your money back. My worst case scenario is I

1114
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:18,759
Speaker 2: have to pay the fifteen K, which I could do

1115
00:54:18,960 --> 00:54:21,480
Speaker 2: and probably see her for it, But it's in her

1116
00:54:21,480 --> 00:54:24,319
Speaker 2: best interest to pay the money back too, right. I

1117
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:26,920
Speaker 2: guess I'm wondering if you guys think it's more important

1118
00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:29,479
Speaker 2: to get my money back or get her the f out.

1119
00:54:30,080 --> 00:54:33,040
Speaker 2: Keep in mind that twenty five hundred is not inconsequential.

1120
00:54:33,200 --> 00:54:35,080
Speaker 2: I put most of that on a credit card for her.

1121
00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:37,840
Speaker 2: I have about five K racked up from all the

1122
00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:40,840
Speaker 2: expenses for her from the summer, and I kind of

1123
00:54:40,840 --> 00:54:44,120
Speaker 2: get paid like crap. But I suppose a lesson like

1124
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:45,120
Speaker 2: this is priceless.

1125
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:48,520
Speaker 3: No what this is? No, No, one hundred percent.

1126
00:54:48,560 --> 00:54:50,560
Speaker 2: You get that money back, and I like, take your

1127
00:54:50,560 --> 00:54:51,680
Speaker 2: small claims if you have to do.

1128
00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:54,440
Speaker 3: Yeah one, Opie, get your money up. You've got not

1129
00:54:54,520 --> 00:54:56,919
Speaker 3: your funny up. What are you doing?

1130
00:54:57,360 --> 00:55:00,480
Speaker 2: Commenter one. I'd blow up her little world and tell

1131
00:55:00,480 --> 00:55:02,480
Speaker 2: the dude that she's been cheating on both of you.

1132
00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:05,439
Speaker 2: I bet you she lied and told him you're an ex.

1133
00:55:05,880 --> 00:55:08,640
Speaker 2: She probably fabricated this whole story about you and her.

1134
00:55:09,320 --> 00:55:11,399
Speaker 2: I would tell him the truth for sure, and then

1135
00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:13,640
Speaker 2: she will come back to you after he finds out

1136
00:55:13,680 --> 00:55:17,360
Speaker 2: what's really been going on and rejects her. The money

1137
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:19,960
Speaker 2: you gave her is pretty much gone. No way she

1138
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:22,719
Speaker 2: will repay you. You're kind of screwed on the loan

1139
00:55:22,920 --> 00:55:25,719
Speaker 2: co sign. I'd consult a lawyer about that, for sure.

1140
00:55:26,160 --> 00:55:28,520
Speaker 2: Opie says. I also thought that maybe she didn't let

1141
00:55:28,600 --> 00:55:30,920
Speaker 2: him in on this whole thing, and he thinks I'm

1142
00:55:30,960 --> 00:55:33,800
Speaker 2: a crazy ex. But the dude is a ghost. His

1143
00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:37,280
Speaker 2: social profiles have no pictures and they haven't been updated

1144
00:55:37,320 --> 00:55:39,440
Speaker 2: in months. No Facebook specifically.

1145
00:55:39,560 --> 00:55:42,920
Speaker 4: That's also creepy that this guy has zero socials in

1146
00:55:43,040 --> 00:55:43,760
Speaker 4: twenty fifteen.

1147
00:55:44,160 --> 00:55:45,600
Speaker 3: Crazy yeah.

1148
00:55:45,680 --> 00:55:48,239
Speaker 2: Someone replies, figure out a way to get in touch

1149
00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:50,879
Speaker 2: with him, get his phone number, message his account, send

1150
00:55:50,920 --> 00:55:53,560
Speaker 2: a letter, send an email to a school email account,

1151
00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:56,480
Speaker 2: which should be easy to figure out. Obviously she was

1152
00:55:56,680 --> 00:55:59,040
Speaker 2: lying to both of you. Send him all the evidence

1153
00:55:59,080 --> 00:56:01,520
Speaker 2: and say, she's obvious going to try twist this to

1154
00:56:01,560 --> 00:56:04,040
Speaker 2: make me sound like a psycho X. So here's all

1155
00:56:04,040 --> 00:56:06,520
Speaker 2: the evidence. You can believe what you want. Just know

1156
00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:09,680
Speaker 2: that this girl robbed and she did on me four years.

1157
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:14,280
Speaker 2: Someone replies, print that crap, wait outside for her class

1158
00:56:14,320 --> 00:56:15,879
Speaker 2: to finish, walk up, hand it to him.

1159
00:56:16,320 --> 00:56:20,359
Speaker 4: Honestly, at this point, you can be as petty as

1160
00:56:20,360 --> 00:56:23,400
Speaker 4: you want, because this is some insane stuff.

1161
00:56:23,840 --> 00:56:26,080
Speaker 2: OPI does say, I don't even know what he looks like.

1162
00:56:26,320 --> 00:56:28,640
Speaker 2: She was very careful not to tell me about specific

1163
00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:31,480
Speaker 2: people from her class. She avoided telling me about what

1164
00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:33,920
Speaker 2: she did down there or who she was with or

1165
00:56:33,960 --> 00:56:36,879
Speaker 2: where she was staying. I just trusted her and thought

1166
00:56:36,880 --> 00:56:39,480
Speaker 2: it didn't matter because the class was only six months

1167
00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:41,760
Speaker 2: and these people would be out of her life soon anyway.

1168
00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:43,760
Speaker 2: And we have an update.

1169
00:56:44,200 --> 00:56:47,960
Speaker 3: Oh I like that opening of the next update.

1170
00:56:48,120 --> 00:56:51,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you guys have to wait to hear it.

1171
00:56:51,400 --> 00:56:56,480
Speaker 4: I yeah, get talk to a lawyer for sure, because she, again,

1172
00:56:56,880 --> 00:57:02,000
Speaker 4: from what we've gotten from your ex ops, she's a

1173
00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:05,440
Speaker 4: person of a lot of words but zero actions. So

1174
00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:07,960
Speaker 4: if she said, yeah, I'll pay you back, come on,

1175
00:57:08,120 --> 00:57:12,000
Speaker 4: that's just words. Yeah, I feel like you gotta get

1176
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:15,880
Speaker 4: this solidified and cemented somewhere where you're like you at

1177
00:57:15,960 --> 00:57:18,400
Speaker 4: least get the money that you paid for her for

1178
00:57:18,440 --> 00:57:21,080
Speaker 4: at least a class back. See what if you can

1179
00:57:21,080 --> 00:57:24,080
Speaker 4: get anything else back? Because boyle boy, this is going

1180
00:57:24,120 --> 00:57:29,640
Speaker 4: to cause you some emotional stress and turmoil that update.

1181
00:57:29,840 --> 00:57:33,680
Speaker 2: Some crazy stuff happened. I spent a long time thinking

1182
00:57:33,680 --> 00:57:36,720
Speaker 2: about how to frame this post. As with most things

1183
00:57:36,720 --> 00:57:39,520
Speaker 2: in my life, the situation is not black and white.

1184
00:57:39,960 --> 00:57:42,000
Speaker 2: A lot of crap from our past that I thought

1185
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:44,600
Speaker 2: we had moved on from got dredged up from the deep.

1186
00:57:45,040 --> 00:57:48,400
Speaker 2: It will be impossible to frame the update without background.

1187
00:57:48,920 --> 00:57:51,200
Speaker 2: I'll get the update of what happened, then try and

1188
00:57:51,240 --> 00:57:54,680
Speaker 2: provide some context after for those who care so to

1189
00:57:54,800 --> 00:57:58,320
Speaker 2: the update. Turns out my original post made its way

1190
00:57:58,360 --> 00:58:00,280
Speaker 2: to the guy she's been seeing.

1191
00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:03,760
Speaker 3: So he has a Reddit, but he has no like profile.

1192
00:58:03,360 --> 00:58:05,000
Speaker 2: Picture, bigger red flag.

1193
00:58:05,760 --> 00:58:07,640
Speaker 3: All right, this guy's kind of quirky.

1194
00:58:08,480 --> 00:58:11,560
Speaker 2: I will call him Colin. I got a direct message

1195
00:58:11,600 --> 00:58:15,440
Speaker 2: saying this is Colin, and I instantly knew it was him,

1196
00:58:16,040 --> 00:58:18,120
Speaker 2: as I didn't even use a fake name in my

1197
00:58:18,240 --> 00:58:22,000
Speaker 2: original he said. A friend of his saw the post. Okay,

1198
00:58:22,040 --> 00:58:22,840
Speaker 2: so Colin.

1199
00:58:22,560 --> 00:58:23,880
Speaker 3: Does not gotcha? Gotcha?

1200
00:58:24,400 --> 00:58:26,760
Speaker 2: A friend of his saw the post and recognized some

1201
00:58:26,800 --> 00:58:30,360
Speaker 2: of the text messages Colin was telling him about. Collin said,

1202
00:58:30,400 --> 00:58:32,959
Speaker 2: he read my post and if we wanted to talk,

1203
00:58:33,040 --> 00:58:35,040
Speaker 2: we could, so I gave him my number and he

1204
00:58:35,120 --> 00:58:39,120
Speaker 2: called me. Audrey had been lying to Colin this whole

1205
00:58:39,200 --> 00:58:43,200
Speaker 2: time about her current relationship with me. He figured out

1206
00:58:43,240 --> 00:58:45,680
Speaker 2: she had been lying to him from my post. I

1207
00:58:45,760 --> 00:58:48,520
Speaker 2: clarified that she was definitely in a relationship with me.

1208
00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:52,160
Speaker 2: She lived with me and we had been having a

1209
00:58:52,800 --> 00:58:57,640
Speaker 2: spicy relations two weeks ago, et cetera. Audrey told Colin

1210
00:58:57,720 --> 00:58:59,680
Speaker 2: I was an ex. We had broken up a year

1211
00:58:59,680 --> 00:59:02,200
Speaker 2: and a half ago, and we were still just friendly.

1212
00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:05,200
Speaker 2: Every time she was at my house, she told him

1213
00:59:05,200 --> 00:59:07,840
Speaker 2: she was at her mom's house. She had told me

1214
00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:10,040
Speaker 2: she was staying with a female friend in her class

1215
00:59:10,080 --> 00:59:14,000
Speaker 2: whenever she was in Fake Houston. It was weird. I

1216
00:59:14,040 --> 00:59:16,600
Speaker 2: told him I wasn't angry at him, even if he

1217
00:59:16,680 --> 00:59:19,360
Speaker 2: had known all about me and Audrey. It's not his

1218
00:59:19,520 --> 00:59:23,520
Speaker 2: job to uphold the sanctity of our relationship. It's Audrey's.

1219
00:59:24,120 --> 00:59:26,760
Speaker 2: He knew nothing about me though. The reason the text

1220
00:59:26,800 --> 00:59:29,680
Speaker 2: messages were so confusing is that he looked through her

1221
00:59:29,760 --> 00:59:32,600
Speaker 2: phone on Labor Day and saw messages from me that

1222
00:59:32,640 --> 00:59:36,040
Speaker 2: were a little too cute. Soe to just be a friend, obviously,

1223
00:59:36,040 --> 00:59:38,840
Speaker 2: because as he now knows, I was more than just

1224
00:59:38,880 --> 00:59:42,240
Speaker 2: a friend. So from his point of view, I'm this

1225
00:59:42,480 --> 00:59:45,760
Speaker 2: ex boyfriend who's getting a little too friendly with his girlfriend,

1226
00:59:45,800 --> 00:59:48,960
Speaker 2: and he made her send me those messages. That's why

1227
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:52,520
Speaker 2: they made no dang sense. He was staring over her shoulder,

1228
00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:55,560
Speaker 2: threatening to break up with her if she didn't do it.

1229
00:59:56,120 --> 00:59:58,160
Speaker 2: So the only reason she did break up with me

1230
00:59:58,320 --> 01:00:01,560
Speaker 2: at all, and did it over text, was because he

1231
01:00:01,880 --> 01:00:05,400
Speaker 2: made her those texts. To an ex boyfriend of eighteen

1232
01:00:05,440 --> 01:00:08,640
Speaker 2: months make total sense, but from my point of view

1233
01:00:08,800 --> 01:00:12,320
Speaker 2: as a current boyfriend, they were straight crazy. He mentioned

1234
01:00:12,320 --> 01:00:14,520
Speaker 2: that she was sitting by the front door the text,

1235
01:00:14,640 --> 01:00:17,360
Speaker 2: typed up and hesitating with her thumb over the send

1236
01:00:17,440 --> 01:00:20,280
Speaker 2: button for much longer than he would have liked, So

1237
01:00:20,320 --> 01:00:23,160
Speaker 2: that was sweet of her. I guess the crappy thing

1238
01:00:23,280 --> 01:00:25,640
Speaker 2: is that I found out that they've been sleeping together

1239
01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:28,000
Speaker 2: since May, which is less than a month after the

1240
01:00:28,040 --> 01:00:31,000
Speaker 2: class started. I can't tell you how much of a

1241
01:00:31,040 --> 01:00:33,440
Speaker 2: blow that was to know that she was lying and

1242
01:00:33,480 --> 01:00:36,880
Speaker 2: manipulating me and this other guy all summer. Read it.

1243
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:40,040
Speaker 2: I can't convey how angry I am to know that

1244
01:00:40,080 --> 01:00:42,640
Speaker 2: she was having spicy sleep with this guy for days

1245
01:00:42,680 --> 01:00:45,040
Speaker 2: on end. Ann would come home and lie to me

1246
01:00:45,120 --> 01:00:48,360
Speaker 2: that her libido was gone because of her antidepressants and

1247
01:00:48,600 --> 01:00:52,240
Speaker 2: showed me no love, no spicy related contact, but she

1248
01:00:52,320 --> 01:00:55,680
Speaker 2: got hers and fake Houston all the times she ever

1249
01:00:55,760 --> 01:00:58,720
Speaker 2: told me that she would never cheat on anyone because

1250
01:00:58,880 --> 01:01:00,920
Speaker 2: she knew how she fell and that she would never

1251
01:01:00,960 --> 01:01:03,600
Speaker 2: want to put someone through that. How if there was

1252
01:01:04,280 --> 01:01:07,840
Speaker 2: ever another person, she would tell me before anything happened,

1253
01:01:08,120 --> 01:01:10,000
Speaker 2: so that I wouldn't have to be cheated on. The

1254
01:01:10,040 --> 01:01:13,560
Speaker 2: hypocrisy crushes my soul. She made me feel bad all

1255
01:01:13,600 --> 01:01:17,080
Speaker 2: the time. It's so obvious when I look back. I

1256
01:01:17,200 --> 01:01:19,520
Speaker 2: like to say things in funny accents, and make pervy

1257
01:01:19,640 --> 01:01:21,200
Speaker 2: jokes and say dumb dad jokes.

1258
01:01:21,320 --> 01:01:23,000
Speaker 3: Don't we all? Don't we all?

1259
01:01:23,400 --> 01:01:26,360
Speaker 2: And she would legitimately snap at me, stop it, you're

1260
01:01:26,360 --> 01:01:29,880
Speaker 2: annoying me, Cut it out, Shut up, rude. She's spent

1261
01:01:30,320 --> 01:01:33,760
Speaker 2: months making me feel bad just being myself, then goes

1262
01:01:33,800 --> 01:01:37,919
Speaker 2: off and cheats on me consistently, repeatedly with the same guy,

1263
01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:41,960
Speaker 2: falls in love with him. She spent months living in

1264
01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:45,320
Speaker 2: my house, eating my food, going to school on my dime,

1265
01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:49,240
Speaker 2: making me wait hand and foot on her requesting food,

1266
01:01:49,440 --> 01:01:52,120
Speaker 2: asking me i'd take her out to dinner, getting angry

1267
01:01:52,200 --> 01:01:54,600
Speaker 2: if I didn't want to cuddle because it hurts my shoulder,

1268
01:01:55,200 --> 01:01:57,920
Speaker 2: texting me she missed me, texting me she loved me,

1269
01:01:58,520 --> 01:02:00,960
Speaker 2: told me she would be done with soon and we

1270
01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:04,439
Speaker 2: could start a new life together in San Francisco and

1271
01:02:04,720 --> 01:02:06,920
Speaker 2: she would get a sweet coating job and take care

1272
01:02:06,960 --> 01:02:09,880
Speaker 2: of me and our life would be amazing. And then

1273
01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:12,480
Speaker 2: she would drive off to fake Houston and have spicy

1274
01:02:12,480 --> 01:02:15,960
Speaker 2: sleep with Colin. For five months, she did this to me.

1275
01:02:16,760 --> 01:02:19,920
Speaker 2: Turns out she was telling Colin about their fantastic future

1276
01:02:19,920 --> 01:02:23,720
Speaker 2: in San Francisco together too. Colin told me that Audrey

1277
01:02:23,760 --> 01:02:25,680
Speaker 2: had mentioned she was going to her mom's house to

1278
01:02:25,680 --> 01:02:29,200
Speaker 2: pick up some stuff. In my original post, I mentioned

1279
01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:31,400
Speaker 2: she was coming yesterday to pick up her stuff from

1280
01:02:31,440 --> 01:02:34,439
Speaker 2: my house. He said he would like to come over

1281
01:02:34,520 --> 01:02:36,720
Speaker 2: with her so we could all sit down and talk together.

1282
01:02:37,480 --> 01:02:39,720
Speaker 2: My buddy came over just to be a third party

1283
01:02:39,760 --> 01:02:42,640
Speaker 2: witness to everything. They showed up together and she got

1284
01:02:42,680 --> 01:02:44,880
Speaker 2: out of the car. It was obvious she had been

1285
01:02:44,920 --> 01:02:50,240
Speaker 2: crying for who though she looked really upset. He came

1286
01:02:50,320 --> 01:02:53,720
Speaker 2: up and we shook hands. As for some advice I got.

1287
01:02:53,760 --> 01:02:56,800
Speaker 2: I wrote a crude contract that just said I'm Audrey,

1288
01:02:56,840 --> 01:03:00,000
Speaker 2: iowop twenty five hundred dollars and I take full response.

1289
01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:02,720
Speaker 2: It's ability for the sixteen K left alone and made

1290
01:03:02,760 --> 01:03:05,800
Speaker 2: her sign it. Colin and I sat there and talked

1291
01:03:05,840 --> 01:03:08,200
Speaker 2: as she moved all her stuff into her car. It

1292
01:03:08,240 --> 01:03:10,880
Speaker 2: was awkward for sure, but read it. I think he's

1293
01:03:10,920 --> 01:03:11,600
Speaker 2: a cool guy.

1294
01:03:11,840 --> 01:03:14,640
Speaker 4: I was gonna say, they're gonna get drinks after they're like,

1295
01:03:14,680 --> 01:03:15,680
Speaker 4: you know what, she sucks?

1296
01:03:15,720 --> 01:03:17,800
Speaker 3: We leave her. You and I are to be buddies.

1297
01:03:18,120 --> 01:03:22,000
Speaker 3: We're gonna go get drinks. Yeah, it could, and they

1298
01:03:22,000 --> 01:03:23,200
Speaker 3: became best friends.

1299
01:03:23,520 --> 01:03:26,320
Speaker 2: Uh, and he's just collateral damage in this whole thing.

1300
01:03:26,600 --> 01:03:29,760
Speaker 2: We kind of exchanged notes about things we had noticed,

1301
01:03:30,120 --> 01:03:32,040
Speaker 2: what she was saying to both of us, where she

1302
01:03:32,080 --> 01:03:34,080
Speaker 2: told us she was at when she wasn't with us,

1303
01:03:34,280 --> 01:03:39,440
Speaker 2: things like that. Again, super awkward. She's silently moving her stuff,

1304
01:03:39,480 --> 01:03:41,720
Speaker 2: and she has a lot of stuff she having lived here,

1305
01:03:42,240 --> 01:03:44,720
Speaker 2: and we're just kind of talking crap about her. We

1306
01:03:44,800 --> 01:03:47,440
Speaker 2: then go inside. I asked for my keyback, and I

1307
01:03:47,520 --> 01:03:49,720
Speaker 2: asked if this was the first time she's cheated on

1308
01:03:49,800 --> 01:03:52,520
Speaker 2: me like this, and if there's been anyone else. She

1309
01:03:52,720 --> 01:03:56,120
Speaker 2: said Colin was the only one. I asked what exactly

1310
01:03:56,160 --> 01:03:58,480
Speaker 2: her plan was for all of this. She said she

1311
01:03:58,480 --> 01:04:01,680
Speaker 2: didn't have one. She was just winging it. She didn't

1312
01:04:01,680 --> 01:04:04,280
Speaker 2: talk much after that, and Colin didn't talk much either.

1313
01:04:04,520 --> 01:04:07,160
Speaker 2: I kind of vented at her. It was probably a

1314
01:04:07,200 --> 01:04:10,440
Speaker 2: million times worse because Colin was there than if I

1315
01:04:10,480 --> 01:04:13,720
Speaker 2: only saw her by myself. She eventually told me that

1316
01:04:13,800 --> 01:04:16,360
Speaker 2: she resented me for stuff I did in the past,

1317
01:04:16,960 --> 01:04:19,480
Speaker 2: that she could never really get over it. She was

1318
01:04:19,520 --> 01:04:22,400
Speaker 2: so afraid that she couldn't make anything of herself without

1319
01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:25,600
Speaker 2: my support, that she couldn't leave me. So I said,

1320
01:04:25,840 --> 01:04:27,960
Speaker 2: to be clear, you're telling me that for the last

1321
01:04:28,040 --> 01:04:29,760
Speaker 2: year and a half, you've just been using me for

1322
01:04:29,800 --> 01:04:32,920
Speaker 2: my money, And she said yes. The only other thing

1323
01:04:32,920 --> 01:04:34,880
Speaker 2: of value she said was that she was sorry that

1324
01:04:34,920 --> 01:04:36,880
Speaker 2: this happened. She knew she was.

1325
01:04:37,640 --> 01:04:41,000
Speaker 4: She'sn't sorry, No, she just she's trying to save face.

1326
01:04:41,080 --> 01:04:45,600
Speaker 4: But girl, girly pop, Yeah, just to it you suck,

1327
01:04:45,800 --> 01:04:46,720
Speaker 4: move along.

1328
01:04:46,640 --> 01:04:49,960
Speaker 2: Bye bye. She knew what she was doing was wrong,

1329
01:04:50,200 --> 01:04:52,720
Speaker 2: but she did it anyway. She said she was sorry,

1330
01:04:52,760 --> 01:04:54,960
Speaker 2: she wasn't strong enough to tell me she didn't actually

1331
01:04:55,000 --> 01:04:58,160
Speaker 2: want to be with me sooner. She basically sat there,

1332
01:04:58,240 --> 01:05:01,600
Speaker 2: silent throughout the whole rest, saying a couple things here

1333
01:05:01,640 --> 01:05:03,840
Speaker 2: and there. I think it was a deer in the

1334
01:05:03,840 --> 01:05:06,880
Speaker 2: headlights thing who got caught. Ann had no idea what

1335
01:05:06,960 --> 01:05:10,720
Speaker 2: to do or say. She was completely unprepared for this moment.

1336
01:05:11,280 --> 01:05:13,920
Speaker 2: For those with the justice boners, here are a couple

1337
01:05:13,960 --> 01:05:16,800
Speaker 2: of my one liners. Hey you, I almost had a

1338
01:05:16,800 --> 01:05:19,560
Speaker 2: brain aneurysm on Monday when I found this out. You

1339
01:05:19,640 --> 01:05:21,920
Speaker 2: have no idea what this did to me. I was

1340
01:05:21,960 --> 01:05:24,600
Speaker 2: your rock for years. I was the only one who

1341
01:05:24,600 --> 01:05:27,320
Speaker 2: stood by your side when your friends abandon you, when

1342
01:05:27,320 --> 01:05:29,840
Speaker 2: your parents didn't support you, And now you just threw

1343
01:05:29,920 --> 01:05:30,320
Speaker 2: me away.

1344
01:05:30,400 --> 01:05:31,120
Speaker 3: That was better.

1345
01:05:31,560 --> 01:05:33,800
Speaker 2: You're the one who did this bad thing, and you'll

1346
01:05:33,800 --> 01:05:35,600
Speaker 2: have to live with this the rest of your life.

1347
01:05:35,640 --> 01:05:38,680
Speaker 2: You went from two boyfriends to zero in two days.

1348
01:05:39,400 --> 01:05:42,520
Speaker 2: There you go. Ope. You got to sleep in this

1349
01:05:42,560 --> 01:05:45,520
Speaker 2: guy's bed the last two days together. I slept here

1350
01:05:45,600 --> 01:05:46,080
Speaker 2: all alone.

1351
01:05:46,200 --> 01:05:48,280
Speaker 4: This is more sad about you, my guy, than her.

1352
01:05:48,400 --> 01:05:51,200
Speaker 4: I don't think she cares anymore. Very she's been moved on.

1353
01:05:51,520 --> 01:05:53,960
Speaker 2: She kept sticking to this story that we've been broken

1354
01:05:54,080 --> 01:05:56,040
Speaker 2: up for a year and a half. I told her

1355
01:05:56,160 --> 01:05:59,200
Speaker 2: that was children's logic. She broke up with me a

1356
01:05:59,280 --> 01:06:00,880
Speaker 2: year and a half ago to work on some of

1357
01:06:00,920 --> 01:06:03,840
Speaker 2: her issues, but we got back together in a couple

1358
01:06:03,920 --> 01:06:06,120
Speaker 2: of weeks. It was always just a break.

1359
01:06:06,240 --> 01:06:10,360
Speaker 3: It was just a break. Rachel, Okay, Chandler, It wasn't Chandler.

1360
01:06:10,480 --> 01:06:13,439
Speaker 2: Okay, Joey. Who's the other one?

1361
01:06:13,640 --> 01:06:14,640
Speaker 3: Ross broh Okay?

1362
01:06:14,760 --> 01:06:15,120
Speaker 2: Ross?

1363
01:06:15,280 --> 01:06:17,160
Speaker 3: Ross is the one who says they're on their break? Wow?

1364
01:06:17,320 --> 01:06:18,640
Speaker 3: What O friends watch her? You are?

1365
01:06:19,360 --> 01:06:21,960
Speaker 2: Yeah? I didn't really watch friends at the time. I

1366
01:06:22,080 --> 01:06:23,880
Speaker 2: asked her that because she broke it off with me,

1367
01:06:24,160 --> 01:06:27,080
Speaker 2: she should ask me to be her boyfriend. I only

1368
01:06:27,160 --> 01:06:29,960
Speaker 2: realized recently that she technically never did that, and I

1369
01:06:29,960 --> 01:06:34,080
Speaker 2: think she's been hiding behind this loophole, like a technicality.

1370
01:06:34,720 --> 01:06:36,720
Speaker 2: I told her, this isn't a court of law. There

1371
01:06:36,760 --> 01:06:39,200
Speaker 2: were no loopholes. She doesn't get to sleep in my

1372
01:06:39,240 --> 01:06:42,120
Speaker 2: bed with me for eighteen months and pretend we're not

1373
01:06:42,200 --> 01:06:45,480
Speaker 2: a couple when it suddenly becomes convenient for her, Like

1374
01:06:45,560 --> 01:06:47,760
Speaker 2: I said, She said it two or three times, that

1375
01:06:47,840 --> 01:06:50,160
Speaker 2: we have been broken up for a year and a half,

1376
01:06:50,240 --> 01:06:53,640
Speaker 2: and that I'm not always supportive, et cetera. I told

1377
01:06:53,640 --> 01:06:56,520
Speaker 2: her that if she tried to f me on the money,

1378
01:06:56,960 --> 01:06:59,439
Speaker 2: I would sue her, and she got snotty and said

1379
01:06:59,440 --> 01:07:02,520
Speaker 2: she wanted to that. I noticed her codependence seemed to

1380
01:07:02,560 --> 01:07:05,320
Speaker 2: have been getting better during the summer. I thought maybe

1381
01:07:05,320 --> 01:07:08,400
Speaker 2: school had given her a purpose, that maybe she was

1382
01:07:08,440 --> 01:07:11,680
Speaker 2: coming out of this depression thing all these years. I

1383
01:07:11,760 --> 01:07:14,880
Speaker 2: now realize that the reason her codependency seemed to get

1384
01:07:14,880 --> 01:07:17,640
Speaker 2: better is that she had transferred some of it to Colin.

1385
01:07:18,080 --> 01:07:21,160
Speaker 2: I feel really bad for Colin. When we spoke, it

1386
01:07:21,200 --> 01:07:24,240
Speaker 2: was to point out various times he noticed her sketchy behavior.

1387
01:07:24,640 --> 01:07:27,200
Speaker 2: He also noticed her changed the passcode on her phone.

1388
01:07:27,760 --> 01:07:30,600
Speaker 2: He is a less trusting person though, and explained how

1389
01:07:30,640 --> 01:07:33,200
Speaker 2: he wanted to know why she did that. He noticed

1390
01:07:33,200 --> 01:07:36,000
Speaker 2: that Audrey was ignoring him when she was with me, etc.

1391
01:07:36,560 --> 01:07:39,320
Speaker 2: He mentioned how he's been in a situation similar to

1392
01:07:39,360 --> 01:07:42,680
Speaker 2: this before, how he seems to get totally screwed over

1393
01:07:42,760 --> 01:07:46,439
Speaker 2: by people and he has trust issues. He really had

1394
01:07:46,480 --> 01:07:48,680
Speaker 2: no idea what was going on, and she had the

1395
01:07:48,800 --> 01:07:52,240
Speaker 2: wool pulled over his eyes too. He is an innocent

1396
01:07:52,280 --> 01:07:55,480
Speaker 2: bystander in all of this. He also broke it off

1397
01:07:55,520 --> 01:07:57,919
Speaker 2: with her. I want to take a moment and say

1398
01:07:57,960 --> 01:08:00,640
Speaker 2: that a piece of me loves Audrey and always will.

1399
01:08:00,800 --> 01:08:03,280
Speaker 2: A piece of me hates her now too, But that

1400
01:08:03,320 --> 01:08:05,120
Speaker 2: piece of me that loves her told her that she

1401
01:08:05,200 --> 01:08:08,080
Speaker 2: is sick. I said that she needed help because someone

1402
01:08:08,080 --> 01:08:10,640
Speaker 2: who thinks this is okay is really sick in the head,

1403
01:08:10,920 --> 01:08:13,480
Speaker 2: and she needed to go to therapy. I made her

1404
01:08:13,520 --> 01:08:16,120
Speaker 2: go to therapy about a year ago because her codependence

1405
01:08:16,200 --> 01:08:18,559
Speaker 2: was getting really bad, and that's when she was put

1406
01:08:18,600 --> 01:08:22,000
Speaker 2: on antidepressants. She stopped going right around. When she got

1407
01:08:22,040 --> 01:08:24,639
Speaker 2: into the class. She said that she knew this whole

1408
01:08:24,680 --> 01:08:27,400
Speaker 2: thing wasn't okay. I simply replied that she did it,

1409
01:08:27,760 --> 01:08:30,519
Speaker 2: therefore a little piece of her did think it was okay.

1410
01:08:31,040 --> 01:08:34,320
Speaker 2: Colin also agreed that she needed to see somebody professionally.

1411
01:08:35,080 --> 01:08:39,000
Speaker 2: Codependance is a serious effing illness. She knows what she

1412
01:08:39,040 --> 01:08:42,080
Speaker 2: did was wrong. I know she did. I could see

1413
01:08:42,080 --> 01:08:45,000
Speaker 2: it in her eyes. She is a good person, read it,

1414
01:08:45,080 --> 01:08:48,320
Speaker 2: but this illness drives her to do things she objectively

1415
01:08:48,400 --> 01:08:52,519
Speaker 2: knows are crazy, and she can't help it. She's not innocent,

1416
01:08:52,680 --> 01:08:55,680
Speaker 2: and this is all left up. I'm not defending her

1417
01:08:55,680 --> 01:08:58,479
Speaker 2: in any way. Deep inside, I know there's a good

1418
01:08:58,479 --> 01:09:01,960
Speaker 2: person just climbing get out, and I truly hope that

1419
01:09:01,960 --> 01:09:05,559
Speaker 2: with medicine and therapy and time, Audrey can get better

1420
01:09:05,600 --> 01:09:07,960
Speaker 2: and have a beautiful life. But it will be a

1421
01:09:08,040 --> 01:09:10,960
Speaker 2: life without me in it. Now, you'll notice I wrote

1422
01:09:11,000 --> 01:09:13,360
Speaker 2: above her reasoning was that she didn't want to be

1423
01:09:13,439 --> 01:09:16,720
Speaker 2: with me because she was resentful first. I believe her

1424
01:09:16,720 --> 01:09:19,360
Speaker 2: codependence made her be with me even though she didn't

1425
01:09:19,400 --> 01:09:22,559
Speaker 2: actually want to be. She is too afraid of being alone,

1426
01:09:22,760 --> 01:09:25,759
Speaker 2: and she's been looking for a way out for eighteen months.

1427
01:09:26,320 --> 01:09:29,160
Speaker 2: Colin was the first opportunity that came by, and she

1428
01:09:29,240 --> 01:09:32,439
Speaker 2: grabbed it. The relationship has been hard on me, and

1429
01:09:32,479 --> 01:09:34,519
Speaker 2: if she had found true love and wanted to leave me,

1430
01:09:34,840 --> 01:09:38,400
Speaker 2: I could handle that. The cheating, the lying, the manipulation,

1431
01:09:38,640 --> 01:09:42,519
Speaker 2: and the money makes this unforgivable. Second, in a gesture

1432
01:09:42,560 --> 01:09:45,920
Speaker 2: of good faith and honesty, I'll explain why she's resentful

1433
01:09:45,920 --> 01:09:48,840
Speaker 2: of me. Read it. I'm not a bad person, but

1434
01:09:48,960 --> 01:09:50,440
Speaker 2: I did some bad things.

1435
01:09:50,920 --> 01:09:51,320
Speaker 3: Oh boy.

1436
01:09:51,479 --> 01:09:54,080
Speaker 2: When Audrey and I got together six years ago, I

1437
01:09:54,200 --> 01:09:56,600
Speaker 2: was in a really messed up place for my previous X,

1438
01:09:56,680 --> 01:09:59,360
Speaker 2: and I didn't treat her well. Well, okay, I had

1439
01:09:59,360 --> 01:10:01,320
Speaker 2: a history of it, fidelity, and it went on for

1440
01:10:01,360 --> 01:10:01,759
Speaker 2: a while.

1441
01:10:02,200 --> 01:10:04,800
Speaker 3: It was only for a few instances. It was only

1442
01:10:04,840 --> 01:10:05,360
Speaker 3: a kiss.

1443
01:10:05,439 --> 01:10:07,800
Speaker 2: But I only I had a kid on you a

1444
01:10:07,920 --> 01:10:08,880
Speaker 2: couple times.

1445
01:10:09,160 --> 01:10:10,720
Speaker 3: It was only a kiss. How did it end up

1446
01:10:10,760 --> 01:10:13,400
Speaker 3: like this? It was only a kiss, It.

1447
01:10:13,439 --> 01:10:17,760
Speaker 2: Was only a few instances, nothing emotional, just wasted at

1448
01:10:17,800 --> 01:10:18,240
Speaker 2: a party.

1449
01:10:18,280 --> 01:10:21,920
Speaker 3: Stuff that does not help, like make it any better.

1450
01:10:22,080 --> 01:10:25,400
Speaker 2: Ope, I'm not trying to trivialize it, but it was

1451
01:10:25,479 --> 01:10:29,080
Speaker 2: never any kind of extended affair. I effing hate that

1452
01:10:29,120 --> 01:10:31,559
Speaker 2: I did those things. I hate myself a lot still

1453
01:10:31,560 --> 01:10:34,559
Speaker 2: because of it. I told her about it every single time,

1454
01:10:34,640 --> 01:10:37,439
Speaker 2: and she would forgive me and take me back. Four

1455
01:10:37,560 --> 01:10:40,320
Speaker 2: years ago was the last time it happened. So you

1456
01:10:40,360 --> 01:10:42,320
Speaker 2: did this for the first two years ago.

1457
01:10:42,360 --> 01:10:46,040
Speaker 3: Here's a relationship. Ope, you are also an a hole.

1458
01:10:46,520 --> 01:10:49,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, you guys both kind of suck. And that was

1459
01:10:49,080 --> 01:10:51,120
Speaker 2: when I realized what a piece of crap I was.

1460
01:10:51,160 --> 01:10:53,080
Speaker 2: And then I didn't want to be that kind of person.

1461
01:10:53,360 --> 01:10:55,640
Speaker 2: So for four years I've tried to make up for

1462
01:10:55,720 --> 01:10:56,160
Speaker 2: what I did.

1463
01:10:56,320 --> 01:10:58,479
Speaker 3: The only cool person in the story right now is Colin.

1464
01:10:59,560 --> 01:11:00,880
Speaker 3: He's the ad bystander.

1465
01:11:01,560 --> 01:11:04,559
Speaker 2: Maybe I deserved this after all, putting that sweet girl

1466
01:11:04,600 --> 01:11:07,280
Speaker 2: I knew back then through that crap. Maybe I caused

1467
01:11:07,280 --> 01:11:11,519
Speaker 2: these issues to surface exacerbated. I'm no saint, but if

1468
01:11:11,560 --> 01:11:14,280
Speaker 2: the last four years count for anything, I still didn't

1469
01:11:14,280 --> 01:11:14,800
Speaker 2: deserve this.

1470
01:11:15,960 --> 01:11:16,559
Speaker 1: It cheated.

1471
01:11:16,880 --> 01:11:19,639
Speaker 2: When we decided to make this thing work four years ago,

1472
01:11:19,760 --> 01:11:22,280
Speaker 2: I asked very pointedly that if this was going to work,

1473
01:11:22,360 --> 01:11:24,760
Speaker 2: she would have to forgive me. If she didn't think

1474
01:11:24,760 --> 01:11:27,120
Speaker 2: she could truly forgive me, then we would be wasting

1475
01:11:27,160 --> 01:11:30,519
Speaker 2: our time. She said she did, but apparently she was lying.

1476
01:11:31,160 --> 01:11:33,559
Speaker 2: That was her reasoning behind being able to do all

1477
01:11:33,600 --> 01:11:36,400
Speaker 2: of this because of the crap stuff that happened in

1478
01:11:36,400 --> 01:11:37,320
Speaker 2: the beginning.

1479
01:11:37,080 --> 01:11:40,360
Speaker 4: That you caused. That you did hold on from the

1480
01:11:40,479 --> 01:11:44,559
Speaker 4: crap stuff that happened at the beginning that you caused.

1481
01:11:44,960 --> 01:11:46,880
Speaker 4: So at the end of this, I'm not pointing the

1482
01:11:46,880 --> 01:11:51,120
Speaker 4: finger at ever just a single person. I'm pointing the finger.

1483
01:11:50,920 --> 01:11:51,760
Speaker 1: At both of you.

1484
01:11:51,760 --> 01:11:56,080
Speaker 4: You guys, see both suck You did this, and it's

1485
01:11:56,160 --> 01:12:01,040
Speaker 4: just the full circle. What goes around comes around. I

1486
01:12:01,200 --> 01:12:03,639
Speaker 4: don't feel as bad for you op what she.

1487
01:12:03,680 --> 01:12:06,240
Speaker 2: Could never forgive me, but she needed me and that's

1488
01:12:06,280 --> 01:12:09,000
Speaker 2: why she stuck around. Like I said, maybe this is

1489
01:12:09,040 --> 01:12:11,200
Speaker 2: my karma and maybe I had this coming for a

1490
01:12:11,280 --> 01:12:14,519
Speaker 2: long time. I just know that either way, my world

1491
01:12:14,720 --> 01:12:17,639
Speaker 2: erupted the last couple of days. I thought that stuff

1492
01:12:17,680 --> 01:12:20,120
Speaker 2: was in the past, that we had moved on from.

1493
01:12:19,920 --> 01:12:23,040
Speaker 3: Those things you have because you cheated.

1494
01:12:23,120 --> 01:12:25,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's easier for you to move on, dude. That's

1495
01:12:25,800 --> 01:12:27,840
Speaker 2: why I didn't mention them in my first post. I

1496
01:12:27,960 --> 01:12:30,320
Speaker 2: truly didn't think that they were what was driving all

1497
01:12:30,360 --> 01:12:34,080
Speaker 2: of this. Maybe that's naive of me, but four years

1498
01:12:34,160 --> 01:12:36,600
Speaker 2: is a long time. I've been nothing but caring and

1499
01:12:36,640 --> 01:12:39,040
Speaker 2: supportive and the best dang boyfriend I could be.

1500
01:12:39,240 --> 01:12:39,840
Speaker 3: But you cheated.

1501
01:12:40,080 --> 01:12:42,519
Speaker 2: I'm a different man, and four days ago I thought

1502
01:12:42,600 --> 01:12:45,200
Speaker 2: Audrey was the girl I was going to marry, and

1503
01:12:45,320 --> 01:12:48,120
Speaker 2: god dang it, we had a hard beginning, but I

1504
01:12:48,280 --> 01:12:50,880
Speaker 2: was going to fix it. I was going to fix her.

1505
01:12:51,640 --> 01:12:52,640
Speaker 3: You're so pretentious.

1506
01:12:52,640 --> 01:12:52,880
Speaker 1: Op.

1507
01:12:53,320 --> 01:12:56,200
Speaker 2: She was going to get better because I got better

1508
01:12:56,240 --> 01:12:58,639
Speaker 2: and so could she. I guess I was wrong. Oh

1509
01:12:58,680 --> 01:13:03,080
Speaker 2: my gosh, I'm I'm starting therapy tomorrow and I'm minimizing

1510
01:13:03,120 --> 01:13:06,280
Speaker 2: contact with Audrey to just loan stuff. Not a happy ending,

1511
01:13:06,360 --> 01:13:08,719
Speaker 2: but an ending. Nonetheless, I think that is the happiest

1512
01:13:08,760 --> 01:13:11,719
Speaker 2: of endings you could have is never dating this girl again.

1513
01:13:12,320 --> 01:13:15,840
Speaker 2: Ye comments comment are one the old Audrey you cheated on.

1514
01:13:16,120 --> 01:13:18,040
Speaker 2: I don't get how you cheat on someone for two

1515
01:13:18,120 --> 01:13:20,519
Speaker 2: years and act all shocked when it happens to you.

1516
01:13:21,040 --> 01:13:24,320
Speaker 2: It sucks and is brutal deduced to someone, But okay,

1517
01:13:24,360 --> 01:13:28,200
Speaker 2: play crappy games, win crappy prizes. Someone replies what he

1518
01:13:28,240 --> 01:13:30,240
Speaker 2: did wasn't right, but that doesn't make what she did

1519
01:13:30,280 --> 01:13:32,479
Speaker 2: okay either. He has a bit of a point in

1520
01:13:32,520 --> 01:13:34,880
Speaker 2: his post that he offered to end the relationship if

1521
01:13:34,880 --> 01:13:38,080
Speaker 2: what he did was unforgivable to her. She agreed to

1522
01:13:38,080 --> 01:13:40,800
Speaker 2: move on from it and try to make the relationship work,

1523
01:13:40,840 --> 01:13:43,599
Speaker 2: and then took advantage of him in an incredibly efed

1524
01:13:43,680 --> 01:13:45,960
Speaker 2: up way. I'm not saying what he did was right,

1525
01:13:46,080 --> 01:13:47,760
Speaker 2: but I feel like it's just as much of a

1526
01:13:47,800 --> 01:13:50,679
Speaker 2: BS excuse to blame that as it is to claim

1527
01:13:50,720 --> 01:13:52,720
Speaker 2: they weren't a couple or that it was some kind

1528
01:13:52,720 --> 01:13:55,759
Speaker 2: of mental illness. This girl did some fed up crap.

1529
01:13:56,479 --> 01:13:59,800
Speaker 2: No previous history justifies it in any way. If she

1530
01:14:00,040 --> 01:14:02,120
Speaker 2: thought it was that bad, she should have left him,

1531
01:14:02,240 --> 01:14:05,120
Speaker 2: not stayed and fed him like this. Someone replies her

1532
01:14:05,160 --> 01:14:08,040
Speaker 2: excuses were BS, for sure, but this is a lesson

1533
01:14:08,040 --> 01:14:11,080
Speaker 2: that when you do something crappy, having somebody forgive you

1534
01:14:11,320 --> 01:14:14,720
Speaker 2: doesn't wipe the slate and make everything okay. I disagree

1535
01:14:14,720 --> 01:14:16,920
Speaker 2: that he has a fair point. He may be a

1536
01:14:17,040 --> 01:14:20,040
Speaker 2: very honorable and nice person now, but nothing you do

1537
01:14:20,200 --> 01:14:24,000
Speaker 2: ever disappears completely from the world. Comm hundred two. Dude,

1538
01:14:24,200 --> 01:14:26,120
Speaker 2: just dude, what the F that's me?

1539
01:14:26,520 --> 01:14:29,400
Speaker 3: Comment number two? Yeah, literally, like, what what did I

1540
01:14:29,479 --> 01:14:30,519
Speaker 3: just read? Dude?

1541
01:14:30,680 --> 01:14:33,120
Speaker 2: Reading this made me sick to my stomach for multiple

1542
01:14:33,160 --> 01:14:36,639
Speaker 2: reasons from multiple angles. Both of you need help, and

1543
01:14:36,760 --> 01:14:39,280
Speaker 2: Colin needs someone to buy him an adult soda or

1544
01:14:39,320 --> 01:14:40,040
Speaker 2: I'm three.

1545
01:14:40,040 --> 01:14:42,559
Speaker 4: I'm literally Commentary number two. I was like, Colin needs

1546
01:14:42,600 --> 01:14:44,080
Speaker 4: a hug. Colin needs.

1547
01:14:44,400 --> 01:14:45,240
Speaker 3: None of you can deserve.

1548
01:14:45,280 --> 01:14:48,360
Speaker 2: Colin, And I'm this commentary that's replying back to you crap.

1549
01:14:48,400 --> 01:14:49,599
Speaker 2: I'll buy him a whole six pack.

1550
01:14:50,120 --> 01:14:51,040
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1551
01:14:51,040 --> 01:14:54,320
Speaker 2: Comment three. In your therapy, you need to really dig

1552
01:14:54,360 --> 01:14:57,840
Speaker 2: deep into your insecurities. You talk about her codependency, but

1553
01:14:57,880 --> 01:15:00,760
Speaker 2: from what I read, I never know you talk about

1554
01:15:00,760 --> 01:15:04,560
Speaker 2: how codependent you were on her. You were obviously codependent

1555
01:15:04,640 --> 01:15:07,400
Speaker 2: on each other. You need just as much help, if

1556
01:15:07,439 --> 01:15:10,400
Speaker 2: not more. You were literally paying to have her in

1557
01:15:10,439 --> 01:15:13,559
Speaker 2: your life. If she were to be writing this, that

1558
01:15:13,720 --> 01:15:14,759
Speaker 2: is what she would be saying.

1559
01:15:14,920 --> 01:15:15,920
Speaker 3: Yep, she would be.

1560
01:15:15,840 --> 01:15:18,879
Speaker 2: Saying how obvious the charade was that she was pretending

1561
01:15:18,880 --> 01:15:20,920
Speaker 2: to be your girlfriend, so you would send her to

1562
01:15:20,960 --> 01:15:24,040
Speaker 2: school and give her a place to live, propositioning you

1563
01:15:24,360 --> 01:15:28,640
Speaker 2: for u spicy acts for payment. When you broke up

1564
01:15:28,680 --> 01:15:31,559
Speaker 2: eighteen months ago and she came back, you obviously never

1565
01:15:31,600 --> 01:15:34,160
Speaker 2: talked out your issues. You even told her that she

1566
01:15:34,200 --> 01:15:36,720
Speaker 2: would need to ask you out, and when she never did,

1567
01:15:36,880 --> 01:15:40,240
Speaker 2: you just accepted it, ignoring the issue because you were

1568
01:15:40,280 --> 01:15:44,360
Speaker 2: dependent on her, and you are somehow sad and surprised

1569
01:15:44,360 --> 01:15:48,040
Speaker 2: this happened. Your codependence on her allowed you to believe

1570
01:15:48,080 --> 01:15:52,400
Speaker 2: she still loved you to the contrary to the many

1571
01:15:52,439 --> 01:15:55,200
Speaker 2: red flags, I bet we're all around you for that time.

1572
01:15:55,800 --> 01:15:58,080
Speaker 2: Instead of being a man with a backbone who isn't

1573
01:15:58,080 --> 01:16:01,519
Speaker 2: afraid of confrontation, you still they're like a child hoping

1574
01:16:01,600 --> 01:16:04,960
Speaker 2: her irrational love was a real thing. You are delusional

1575
01:16:05,000 --> 01:16:08,800
Speaker 2: and reading this made me sick. Your entire tone was condescending,

1576
01:16:08,880 --> 01:16:11,800
Speaker 2: and the entire situation was over analyzed. I hope you

1577
01:16:11,840 --> 01:16:13,880
Speaker 2: get the help you need. Yeah, that is the end

1578
01:16:13,880 --> 01:16:16,200
Speaker 2: of that story. Again, because I was red flagged at

1579
01:16:16,200 --> 01:16:18,800
Speaker 2: the beginning when he kept being like, and her antepressants

1580
01:16:18,840 --> 01:16:20,519
Speaker 2: maker not want to sleep with me, And I.

1581
01:16:20,479 --> 01:16:22,240
Speaker 3: Was like, dude, also, the only thing I'm gonna pay

1582
01:16:22,240 --> 01:16:23,040
Speaker 3: for this, I'm gonna kep paying for.

1583
01:16:23,040 --> 01:16:24,360
Speaker 2: This paper for this one. The only thing he kept

1584
01:16:24,400 --> 01:16:26,080
Speaker 2: talking about was I spend so much money on her

1585
01:16:26,080 --> 01:16:26,799
Speaker 2: and she won't sleep.

1586
01:16:26,640 --> 01:16:27,840
Speaker 4: With It was me, Yeah, it was me, me, me,

1587
01:16:27,840 --> 01:16:30,559
Speaker 4: me me, and like where's my reward? Like she doesn't

1588
01:16:30,600 --> 01:16:32,160
Speaker 4: do this or like all that stuff.

1589
01:16:32,240 --> 01:16:32,840
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1590
01:16:32,920 --> 01:16:35,040
Speaker 4: What I also got at the very end there thing

1591
01:16:35,560 --> 01:16:37,599
Speaker 4: I thought I could fix her.

1592
01:16:38,080 --> 01:16:42,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, I could fix her, Like dude, dude, you everybody

1593
01:16:43,040 --> 01:16:46,000
Speaker 3: kept her around because you treated her like a project.

1594
01:16:46,439 --> 01:16:49,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, I certainly agree with the comments that it's like

1595
01:16:49,280 --> 01:16:52,840
Speaker 2: it's it's still not going to excuse what she was

1596
01:16:52,880 --> 01:16:55,760
Speaker 2: doing back to you, like that is totally messed up.

1597
01:16:56,240 --> 01:16:58,320
Speaker 2: But dude, you left a lot of context out.

1598
01:16:58,720 --> 01:17:01,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you're I think you're both a holes.

1599
01:17:01,880 --> 01:17:05,160
Speaker 4: But again, the way this started out, who was the

1600
01:17:05,200 --> 01:17:06,960
Speaker 4: first ale here was you?

1601
01:17:07,120 --> 01:17:09,840
Speaker 2: Okay, years of cheating, dude, what the heck. But that

1602
01:17:10,000 --> 01:17:10,920
Speaker 2: is the end of that story.