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Speaker 1: All right, guys, time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And

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Speaker 1: if you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,

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Speaker 1: and more. Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM

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Speaker 1: dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be

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Speaker 1: reading your letter live on the air, just like we're

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Speaker 1: gonna read this one right here, right now. Buge lappinhold

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Speaker 1: on tight, We got it. Paul you here. It is

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Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter. Thank you nephew. Subject Should I love

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Speaker 1: him or leave him? Dear Stephen Shirley. I met an

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Speaker 1: older guy and I was attracted to him, but played

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Speaker 1: hard to get. He begged me for a first date

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Speaker 1: and I eventually agreed to go out with him. He

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Speaker 1: asked me to pick him up, and I didn't think

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Speaker 1: much about it since his house was on the way

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Speaker 1: to the restaurant. When I got to the house, he

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Speaker 1: came out, and so did a much older lady. He

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Speaker 1: got in my car and told me that was his mother.

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Speaker 1: That was his mom, and that he lived with her.

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Speaker 1: At this point, I had an opportunity to tell him

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Speaker 1: that I was not interested, but I went out to

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Speaker 1: dinner with him anyway. At dinner, he told me that

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Speaker 1: he's a convicted felon, but that was years ago, and

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Speaker 1: he's got a great job and a new life now.

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Speaker 1: I kept seeing this man and eventually went to his home, well,

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Speaker 1: his mom's house, and saw how filthy his room was.

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Speaker 1: And I also noticed that his mom's yard was unkept

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Speaker 1: and there was trash lying around the driveway and porch. There.

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Speaker 1: These were red flags, and I told him he should

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Speaker 1: do better at helping his mom out around the house.

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Speaker 1: Then I invited him to my house to meet my

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Speaker 1: two children. I know he talks really hood and street,

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Speaker 1: but I thought he would do better when he met

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Speaker 1: my children. He did not, and my kids asked him

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Speaker 1: why he was talking like a rapper. He kept commenting

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Speaker 1: on how nice I kept my house, and after the visit,

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Speaker 1: his conversations turned to us making a commitment. He suggested

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Speaker 1: moving in with me so we could be closer and

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Speaker 1: he could help me out around the house. I was

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Speaker 1: excited at first because I really like this man, but

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Speaker 1: then I thought I was being naive and he could

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Speaker 1: just be using me. Although he has some character flaws.

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Speaker 1: Could I work on this fix or upper and be

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Speaker 1: happy or should I leave this man at his mama's house.

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Speaker 1: Please advise, run, run, run as far away from this

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Speaker 1: man as you possibly can. I mean, you got to

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Speaker 1: leave this man alone, please. I mean, when you see

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Speaker 1: red flags, don't ignore them. That's what red flags are for. Okay,

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Speaker 1: let's go through him. He lives with his mom, all right.

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Speaker 1: The yard is nasty, his room is nasty. He has

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Speaker 1: no car, He doesn't know how to be a good

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Speaker 1: role model in front of your children. And if he's

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Speaker 1: got such a nice job, in a great job and

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Speaker 1: all this stuff like you see in the letter, why

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Speaker 1: doesn't he save his money and get an apartment. There

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Speaker 1: was no discussion about that in this letter. And you

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Speaker 1: know it wasn't until after he saw your place, after

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Speaker 1: he came over there, that he started, you know, like

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Speaker 1: kind of pressuring you to move in and to be committed.

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Speaker 1: He said he would help you around the house. Oh really,

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Speaker 1: you would help her, but you're not. He'll help you,

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Speaker 1: but he's not going to help his own mom around

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Speaker 1: the house. He could at least clean up the yard,

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Speaker 1: and what about his room. Come on, I don't get this.

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Speaker 1: I say, don't let him in your house in this

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Speaker 1: kind of a way. Don't let him move in please,

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Speaker 1: this is not how you want to live. You have

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Speaker 1: two kids to think about. I think if he was

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Speaker 1: and you didn't mention, you know, what he was incarcerated

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Speaker 1: for or anything like that, you just said he's out.

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Speaker 1: That was years ago, and he has a great job

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Speaker 1: in a new life now. But it just doesn't look

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Speaker 1: like it or seem like it. You know. Yeah, he

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Speaker 1: could be using you, but I say no, it's too

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Speaker 1: soon to move in. Don't let him do it. Steve,

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Speaker 1: I'm confused. I really am uh huh about Why Why

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Speaker 1: is she writing us? Yeah, what is the purpose of

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Speaker 1: this letter? I don't even know why? Why are we

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Speaker 1: Why are we talking to her about? Who? Who are

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Speaker 1: we talking about? That? Everything in this letter screams what? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean, the whole damn letter. Let's start. I met

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Speaker 1: an older guy right down and us attracted to him.

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Speaker 1: But you played hard to get Okay, you know, older guy.

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Speaker 1: He begged me for a first date. I agree with brother.

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Speaker 1: He asked me to pick him up. Right there, let's stop,

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Speaker 1: let's let's go, let's listen. Just listen. You met an

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Speaker 1: older guy. He asked me to pick him up. I

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Speaker 1: ain't think nothing about it since his his house was

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Speaker 1: on the way to the restaurant. When I got to

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Speaker 1: the house, he came out, and so did a much

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Speaker 1: older lady. Let's circle this. Let's just go for what

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Speaker 1: we got so far. Matter, older guy, he asked you

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Speaker 1: to pick him up. He come out of the house

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Speaker 1: with an old ass lady. He got in my car

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Speaker 1: and told me this was his mom and he lived

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Speaker 1: with her. Let's circle that. At this point I had

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Speaker 1: the opportunity to tell him I was not interested, but

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Speaker 1: I went out to dinner with him anyway. For what why?

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Speaker 1: Let me circle that. I went out to dinner with

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Speaker 1: him anyway. Then at dinner, he told me he's a

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Speaker 1: convicted feeling. Let's circle that twice. But that was years ago,

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Speaker 1: and he got a good job and got a new life.

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Speaker 1: Now I kept seeing this man and eventually went to

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Speaker 1: his house, well, his mama's house. Okay, Let's circle that,

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Speaker 1: because now were you why are you still talking to

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Speaker 1: his answer? After this? I don't know, But you went

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Speaker 1: back to his mama's house. And then this older man

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Speaker 1: you met, You saw how filthy his room was. You know,

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Speaker 1: the last time I had a room I was seventeen. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and last time I took somebody to my room other

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Speaker 1: than a dormitory in college. Yeah, all right, how filthy

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Speaker 1: his room was. Let's stop down or to be right

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Speaker 1: at twenty three after the hour A subject of Today's

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letters, Should I Love him or leave him? We'll

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Speaker 1: be back right after this. You're listening, all right, Steve,

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Speaker 1: Come on, let's recap today's Strawberry letter. My recap can

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Speaker 1: just be a continuation because as I continue, I'll explain it.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna show you everything that's wrong with this letter.

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Speaker 1: This letter is should I Love him or leave him?

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Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley. I met an older guy. I circled that

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Speaker 1: I was attracting him, but I played hard to get.

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Speaker 1: He begged me for a first date. I eventually agreed

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Speaker 1: to go out with him. He asked me to pick

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Speaker 1: him up. I circled that everything I circled is screaming

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Speaker 1: what I ain't think much about it since his house

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Speaker 1: was on the way to the the restaurant. When I got

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Speaker 1: to the house and he came out, and so did

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Speaker 1: a much older lady, I circled that who is this

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Speaker 1: old ass lady? He got in my car and told

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Speaker 1: me that this was his mom. And he lived with her.

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Speaker 1: I circled that, let's go back, older guy, you had

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Speaker 1: to pick him up. He's this old lady stay there,

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Speaker 1: and you found out his mama. At this point, I

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Speaker 1: had an opportunity to tell him I was not interested,

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Speaker 1: but I went out to dinner with him. Anyway. I

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Speaker 1: circled that. The question I'm begging everybody to ask yourself

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Speaker 1: is why is you at dinner with this old ass

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Speaker 1: man to stay at the house with his mama that

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Speaker 1: you had to pick up. That's all I'm asking. At dinner,

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Speaker 1: he told me he was a convicted fellon. This whole

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Speaker 1: letter is going to hell. But I kept seeing the

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Speaker 1: man why. Eventually I went to his house where his

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Speaker 1: mom's house. So I circle that because it took you

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Speaker 1: two visits to get it the first time you pulled up.

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Speaker 1: Next time you went to the damn house and found

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Speaker 1: out it was a mama's house. That yet all in

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Speaker 1: blue plates leaning up against the wall on the fireplace,

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Speaker 1: and had that big wooden spoon and fox set hanging

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Speaker 1: on the damn wall, that picture the white Jesus mar

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Speaker 1: Luther King and John F. Kennedy. And I noticed that

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Speaker 1: his mom's yard was unkept, and it was trash laying around.

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Speaker 1: I circled that he don't give a damn bout his mama.

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Speaker 1: Trash laying around the driveway and the porch that's where

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Speaker 1: he eats. These were all red flags, And I told

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Speaker 1: him he should do better helping out his mom around

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Speaker 1: the house. You know what Judge lying Tolder told me

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Speaker 1: one time on the show, She said women should stop

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Speaker 1: collecting red flags. Yep, women should stop collecting red flags time.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna let you use that already for love this year,

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Speaker 1: women should stop collecting red flags. I told him he

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Speaker 1: should do better helping his mom out around the house.

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Speaker 1: Then I invited him to my house to meet my

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Speaker 1: two children. I circled this, why is he meeting your

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Speaker 1: damn kids? Exactly what redeeming quality has he exhibited where

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Speaker 1: you think it's time for him to meet your damn kids?

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Speaker 1: Now he talks real hood in street. I circle that

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Speaker 1: he stay at home with his mama. Is mama old?

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Speaker 1: You had to pick him up? He lived with his mama.

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Speaker 1: You went out to dinner anyway here convicted felling. You

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Speaker 1: went to his mama's house. His room is filed. It's

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Speaker 1: translating around the driveway in the porch. I invited him

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Speaker 1: to your house to meet the two kids, and he

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Speaker 1: talked real hood in street. This whole letter is just

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Speaker 1: going to hell. But I thought he would do better

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Speaker 1: when he met my children. He did not. And your

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Speaker 1: kids asked him why was he talking like a rapper?

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Speaker 1: You know why, because your kids know his whole ass

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Speaker 1: should be talking better than one of their damn piers.

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Speaker 1: Your kids know that, but you don't, So I circled that.

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Speaker 1: He kept commenting on how nice I kept my house.

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Speaker 1: Hell yeah, questions wo to break the law just described

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Speaker 1: in Mamma's house. And after the visit, his conversations turned

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Speaker 1: to us making a commitment, a commitment to what he suggested,

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Speaker 1: moving in with me so he could be closer and

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Speaker 1: he could help out round the house. He don't help

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Speaker 1: out round the house. He don't help out round the house.

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Speaker 1: He don't help out in his filthy ass room. He

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Speaker 1: don't help out with nothing on the poach, He don't

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Speaker 1: help out with nothing with the driveway. Where do he

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Speaker 1: clean up at? So he fldn't help you? Well, I

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Speaker 1: was excited at first because I really liked this man.

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Speaker 1: What is it you like you ain't saying nothing in

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Speaker 1: the letter you like. Your whole letter is you disappointed

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Speaker 1: you on this man, then you sat really like him.

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Speaker 1: You like what you must not. You ain't never handle

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Speaker 1: man before, you never had a good man before. Because

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Speaker 1: if this is what you like, I show what I

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Speaker 1: hate to see, the one you got rid of, the

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Speaker 1: one you had them two kids by lady, you need

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Speaker 1: to up your up your game. I really like this man.

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Speaker 1: But then I'd have thought I was being you naive

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Speaker 1: and he could be using me. Although he had some

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Speaker 1: character flaw character flaw. He old his hell. That ain't

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Speaker 1: a cafter flaw. He ain't got a car. That ain't

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Speaker 1: a cafter flaw. He stayed with his mama. That ain't

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Speaker 1: a character flaw. He's a convicted fellow. That ain't a

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Speaker 1: character flaw. His room is filtered, That ain't a character flaw.

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Speaker 1: It's chanced on the driveway in the ports. That ain't

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Speaker 1: a charcter flaw. He wants to move in with you

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Speaker 1: so he can help out around the house. Here, damn

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Speaker 1: lie run all right, Steve, We're run. Post your comments

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Speaker 1: on today Strawberry Letter on Instagram at Steve Harvey FBM

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Speaker 1: dot com and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand.

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Speaker 1: You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show