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Speaker 1: Welcome to you stuff you should know from house Stuff

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Speaker 1: Works dot com. Hey, and welcome to the podcast. I'm

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Speaker 1: Josh Clark with Charles W. Chuck Bryant and there's Jerry

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Speaker 1: over there. So it's stuff you shad know, that's right,

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Speaker 1: the online Dating edition. Yeah. Uh, we are all in

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Speaker 1: committed relationships in this room, and so I doubt if

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Speaker 1: any of us have ever online dated. Probably right, I

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Speaker 1: have not. I have not, Jerry probably haven't. We're all

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Speaker 1: like long term monogamous. But I mean we're also good

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Speaker 1: at research too. It's not like there's I haven't been

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Speaker 1: to the Sun, but we did one on the Sun. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that one's stunk. Yeah, that's a bad example. I do

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Speaker 1: have to say, though, if I were single, uh here

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Speaker 1: in this modern age, I would way way be into

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Speaker 1: online dating. Well, it's it's normal. Yeah, you know. I

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Speaker 1: was not um ever or skilled at wooing the ladies

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Speaker 1: um like out in bars or whatever, like I would

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Speaker 1: do find set up or like at a dinner party

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Speaker 1: or something. But this would have really benefited me back

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Speaker 1: in the day if it was like a legit thing

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Speaker 1: in the early nineties. Well, and there were some legit sites,

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Speaker 1: but it was more like remember the movie singles, like

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Speaker 1: the video profiles Great Expectations? Was that what it was called? Well,

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Speaker 1: that's the in real in real life, there was something

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Speaker 1: like that called Great Expectations. Yeah, well, should we talk

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Speaker 1: about the history? Did you have a better intro than that? No?

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Speaker 1: I didn't, Okay, No, I just figured we'd go into

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Speaker 1: the history of it because it does have a surprisingly

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Speaker 1: long history. UM dating, I guess using computers, not necessarily online,

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Speaker 1: because there wasn't such a thing as online. UM started

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Speaker 1: in the sixties with a guy named Jeff Tar who

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Speaker 1: was a mathematician at Harvard UM and he was interested

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Speaker 1: in the girls. He was a little bit of girl crazy,

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Speaker 1: he said. He was so desperate to meet girls. And

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Speaker 1: I think with your a mathematician at Harvard, it's probably

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Speaker 1: not like, you know, bustling with hot chicks so prepared

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Speaker 1: to have your socks knocked off. Because the lady who

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Speaker 1: wrote this Slate article did a miscarriage of justice in

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Speaker 1: describing Jeff Tar and his operation. First of all, apparently

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Speaker 1: the computer that they used, the circuit board, spelled out

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Speaker 1: the words sex. Yeah, just for fun? Yes, okay, no,

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Speaker 1: because like that was the point? Well right, and he

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Speaker 1: was desperate to meet them because he was desperate to

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Speaker 1: like give as he could. Apparently this guy had no

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Speaker 1: problems whatsoever. Really, Yeah, you saw mathematician Harvard sixties and

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Speaker 1: you thought, hey, I read a contemporary article and another

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Speaker 1: one that UM written years later about this this thing.

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Speaker 1: It was. It was a thing. It was called Operation

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Speaker 1: Match that he's set up and UM basically, for three dollars,

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Speaker 1: you submitted a questionnaire and Jeff tar fed your questionnaire

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Speaker 1: into a computer and you were guaranteed to get at

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Speaker 1: least five names of people who the computer decided were

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Speaker 1: a match based on your questionnaire answers. And they you know,

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Speaker 1: he was doing it mostly in New England, for the

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Speaker 1: New England colleges. It was probably like back then, it

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Speaker 1: was probably names, addresses and how they like to be

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Speaker 1: touched pretty much, you know. Um. But they they got

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Speaker 1: a kind of a tepid response, and then somebody mentioned

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Speaker 1: it on like an interview on TV, and it took

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Speaker 1: off after that, and then a few months they had

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Speaker 1: a hundred thousand people in this database. And yeah, and

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Speaker 1: they were these were undergrad college students charging three bucks apiece.

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Speaker 1: So in a few months they made like three hundred

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Speaker 1: thousand dollars coming up with the first computer dating service.

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Speaker 1: Whatso like? Ever did he go on to do anything great?

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Speaker 1: Oh he's a mathematician from Harvard, I'm assuming yes, Uh,

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Speaker 1: well in the seventies, these great expectations is what you mentioned,

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Speaker 1: was founded by Jeffrey Ulman, and he's the one that

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Speaker 1: did the video presentations, like they made fun of in

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Speaker 1: the Singles movie, where you would just do your little

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Speaker 1: video profile and people would watch it and say, you know,

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Speaker 1: I like that girl. She's she plays guitar and look

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Speaker 1: she's drinking coffee, she likes dogs. Can you can you

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Speaker 1: imagine anything more clunky than getting like a videotape in

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Speaker 1: the mail of video profiles of people could imagine it?

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Speaker 1: It's not a sustainable system or making one man, especially

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Speaker 1: in the day when you had to you know, it

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Speaker 1: would take me like two weeks to do a video thing.

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Speaker 1: And that's with modern computer editing, right or yeah or

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Speaker 1: yeah editor who like had to put those things together? Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Well in Singles it was Tim Burton. He had a

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Speaker 1: little cameo as the director of her dating video. Have

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Speaker 1: you seen Singles recently? No? Wow, it really made quite

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Speaker 1: impression it's I was about to say it's one of

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Speaker 1: my favorite movies, but it's not on my top one

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Speaker 1: h and movieless. Oh, I might have forgotten that one

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Speaker 1: great movie you're gonna have to do a hundred and

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Speaker 1: one perhaps, so uh. I like this this story about

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Speaker 1: Jeffrey Allman who found in Great Expectations. He was apparently

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Speaker 1: on Montell Williams Show, and Montell Williams he was basically saying, like,

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Speaker 1: doesn't your service just prey on lonely people? And Alman

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Speaker 1: said yes, just like restaurants prey on the hungry, and

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Speaker 1: doctors prey on the sick, and talk show hosts prey

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Speaker 1: on the people who are too bored to read a book.

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Speaker 1: I love that guy, I know, and I remember. I'm

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Speaker 1: old enough to where I remember these early services and

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Speaker 1: it being like an embarrassment, Like, God, what, what a

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Speaker 1: desperate person? So here's the sign up for something like this.

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Speaker 1: I wrote an article that made that point that there's

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Speaker 1: still that stigma surrounding online dating. No, it's a certain

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Speaker 1: percentage of people pulled still feel that way for sure.

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Speaker 1: I think people who are maybe involved in online dating

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Speaker 1: themselves desperate for online dating. And this author was putting

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Speaker 1: this this assertion out there that just the very structure

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Speaker 1: of online dating, the privacy settings, the um, the just

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Speaker 1: general embarrassment surrounding it, just the way it's set up,

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Speaker 1: it's treated like it's an embarrassing thing. And as long

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Speaker 1: as it's treated like it's an embarrassing thing, it's never

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Speaker 1: going to become real dating. It's going to become some

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Speaker 1: hybrid of it where only sad people or the desperate

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Speaker 1: and or people who just want to hook up, or

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Speaker 1: the dregs of humanity that's where they go. It will

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Speaker 1: never be the de facto method of dating as long

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Speaker 1: as it's structured as an embarrassing thing. Do you think

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Speaker 1: it's still structured that way? Well, yeah, I think it is.

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Speaker 1: I think like the privacy settings are in part for

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Speaker 1: you know, protection and to keep creeps at bay, but

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Speaker 1: I think it's also so that like the average person

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Speaker 1: can't see that you're trying online dating. Even still today,

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Speaker 1: I guess I see that. I think there's nothing to

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Speaker 1: be ashamed of too. I agree entirely very efficient way

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Speaker 1: to meet a like minded person. You know, I would

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Speaker 1: be way into it. I think maybe like in five

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Speaker 1: years that will be a moot point because so many

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Speaker 1: other people will be using it. Yeah, because apparently it

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Speaker 1: started to wane in two thou well that was more

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Speaker 1: to do with the economy, I think, Oh yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 1: They did a study from UH like over a ten

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Speaker 1: year period and it definitely waned in the mid two thousand's,

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Speaker 1: But now it's booming again. UM dating services report earnings

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Speaker 1: of two billion dollars and uh they said that they're

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Speaker 1: growing at a rate of three point one percent per

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Speaker 1: year now. But it did when disposable income was in

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Speaker 1: shorter supply. That was definitely one of the first things

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Speaker 1: to go. And yes, and I said, but I saw

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Speaker 1: and now it's it's back. But I think in addition

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Speaker 1: to that economic hitch upward, there was an attendant acceptance

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Speaker 1: social acceptance of it as well that accounted for a

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Speaker 1: growth in it. Between two thousand five and two thousand

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Speaker 1: and thirteen, the number of Americans who said that they

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Speaker 1: know somebody who online dated like doubled from like to

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Speaker 1: thirty percent of Americans, and like of all Americans use

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Speaker 1: or have used online dating services. So it is definitely

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Speaker 1: becoming more and more widespread. But again I do think

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Speaker 1: that there is still just some tinge of whatever it's that.

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Speaker 1: It is like some people might be a little reticent

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Speaker 1: to say that in mixed company. Yeah, which is weird

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Speaker 1: because it's like you if you're people aren't ashamed of

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Speaker 1: dating or not dating. It's just adding that online to

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Speaker 1: it changes everything for some reason. Yeah. And of course

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Speaker 1: with the advent of smartphones and apps and GPS locators,

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Speaker 1: that has helped a lot to to increase news. You know.

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Speaker 1: So thanks to the the technical revolution that was the

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Speaker 1: advent of the Internet. In a little site called match

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Speaker 1: dot com came about, which is interesting because that was

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Speaker 1: the first online dating service and match was the name

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Speaker 1: of that one from the from Harvard in the sixth

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Speaker 1: Notice that I wondered if he got any juice out

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Speaker 1: of that. Probably not. Probably not, um, and the Harvard

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Speaker 1: mathematicians he's doing all right, Um, we assume yes. And

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Speaker 1: then a couple of years later another one that's still

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Speaker 1: around and very prominent, Ja Date, was created, Yeah, for

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Speaker 1: the Jewish community. Yeah. And then um the original version

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Speaker 1: of Facebook was called face match, and it was basically

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Speaker 1: a an online version of this way to check people

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Speaker 1: out basically right exactly now, Chuck, like you said, like

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Speaker 1: there's there's sites all over the place, there's apps, there's

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Speaker 1: it's just becoming more and more prevalent. Yeah, I made

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Speaker 1: a list. If we can go ahead and get to

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Speaker 1: this with my twenty favorite niche because you can go

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Speaker 1: to the gentlemans like e Harmony or match or you know,

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Speaker 1: the big the big daddies, or if you're really specific,

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Speaker 1: you can go to uh A likewise for fellow book lovers.

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Speaker 1: Farmers only. City folks just don't get it exactly. Uh

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Speaker 1: There's one called how about we dot dot dot, which

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Speaker 1: is basically, instead of some huge profile that you have

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Speaker 1: to set up, it's very very short and casual, like

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Speaker 1: how about we go eat at a great restaurant tonight

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Speaker 1: and someone can just respond to meet you. If you're

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Speaker 1: an IVY leaguer, you might go to ivy Date. That's

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Speaker 1: a site Equestrian Singles dot com. I'm sorry, that's an

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Speaker 1: obnoxious dating site. Oh, totally obnoxious equestrian singles. If you're

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Speaker 1: into horses. There's one called cupid Tino dot com for

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Speaker 1: fans of Apple products because they found the Apple people

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Speaker 1: tend to be alike. Veggie Date Um if you're vegetarian,

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Speaker 1: must look pets our Time is just one of many

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Speaker 1: for people over fifty, which is kind of cool to

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Speaker 1: see Geek to geek. There's obviously political ones Republican meet

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Speaker 1: and Democratic Republican people meet and Democratic people meet. I

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Speaker 1: don't know if there's a Tea party people meet or not.

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Speaker 1: I would guess Trek Passions. Yes, they're like the Hike. Nope. Man,

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Speaker 1: My Lovely Parent is for single parents. Uh, Sea Captain Date.

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Speaker 1: I think my favorite one. That's for real. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: just for people looking for their first mate. That's awesome. Uh,

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Speaker 1: find your face Mate. That's for people who think that

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Speaker 1: want to find people that look like them. It's a

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Speaker 1: little creepy. Wealthy men dot Com Stash passion if you're

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Speaker 1: in the mustaches, not like drugs on you. Personals for

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Speaker 1: cat lovers, waiting till marriage for the virgins among us. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I found one that was um that was founded by

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Speaker 1: a woman who had had cervical cancer. Are Oh that's nice?

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Speaker 1: Who um founded a site for people who are incapable

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Speaker 1: of having sex but still want to find love and

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Speaker 1: apparently it's gotten a pretty great response. That's awesome. And

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Speaker 1: the last one was Tall Friends that I thought was

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Speaker 1: kind of interesting. Like they're just tall. You're just into

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Speaker 1: tall people, or I guess you're I've heard of that

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Speaker 1: from a lot of tall people, especially tall women. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: who don't like dating short guys and have a hard time,

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Speaker 1: you know, finding dudes that are six three. You go

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Speaker 1: to tall friends friends. I saw another one called the gaggle.

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Speaker 1: Have you heard about that? Yeah? That that one's interesting.

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Speaker 1: It's for um. It's basically so for a woman to

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Speaker 1: date all of the various um prized parts of an

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Speaker 1: individual's personality, but broken out and distributed among a whole

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Speaker 1: group of men. Like I want to date an athlete,

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Speaker 1: so I'll go on a date with this guy. I

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Speaker 1: want to like a brainy guy too, so I'll go

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Speaker 1: on a different date with a brainy guy, right, and

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Speaker 1: so on and so on a tall dude. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: then the woman, but she's dating all these dudes at once. Yea,

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Speaker 1: hence the gaggle, A gaggle of dudes. Yeah we're powered

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Speaker 1: to you, I guess. And yeah, and then of course

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Speaker 1: the kids, as weird as your imagination can get weirder

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Speaker 1: than farmers only, Oh yeah, our trek passions way weirder

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Speaker 1: or sea captain date even weirder. All right. Yeah, um,

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Speaker 1: so that's some pretty good stuff. Chuck. Thanks, that was

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Speaker 1: some good digging. Well those are, you know, like you said,

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Speaker 1: one of many, many many. Um. But we're gonna be

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Speaker 1: talking about sort of the basic online standard online dating scenario,

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Speaker 1: and we're going to talk about that right after this message.

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Speaker 1: All right, so welcome back to online dating. Um. I

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Speaker 1: guess we should just walk someone through this process. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: step by step. Yeah, so the first thing you're gonna

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Speaker 1: want to do, there's there's different kinds of sites. They're

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Speaker 1: typically broken out into two categories. See aptains tall people.

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Speaker 1: Uh no, I can't. Uh, it's um free sites and

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Speaker 1: pay sites. No, that was serious that last one. No, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I was still laughing at Okay, that's good. So you've

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Speaker 1: got your freesighting at your pay sites and both of them.

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Speaker 1: It depends on the site. But for the most part, uh,

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Speaker 1: if you are thinking of creating a profile, you will

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Speaker 1: be able to go on to just about any dating

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Speaker 1: site and give a very minimal amount of information and

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Speaker 1: start browsing. Yeah, because they want you to check out

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Speaker 1: the site and get the hooks into you, and they

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Speaker 1: don't necessarily say you gotta pay right away, or you

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Speaker 1: gotta give us all this information. Just browse around the

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Speaker 1: shop see if you like anything. Right, So, um, you're

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Speaker 1: gonna give a little information like whether you're a man

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Speaker 1: or a woman, or whether you're seeking a man or

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Speaker 1: a woman. Maybe the year you're born, and then maybe

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Speaker 1: your zip code. Yeah, you're not gonna get full profiles

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Speaker 1: if you're browsing, no, unless you may not get pictures either.

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Speaker 1: It depends. So if it's a free site, you may

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Speaker 1: feel true. If it's a pay site, and we'll talk

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Speaker 1: about the pros and the cons in a minute of each. Um.

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Speaker 1: If it's a pay site, you might be able to

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Speaker 1: see yeah profile without pictures, or you might be able

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Speaker 1: to see you know, both, but you won't. You can't

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Speaker 1: contact anybody unless you pay. Um. But for the most

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Speaker 1: part when you're when you're going online, you can check

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Speaker 1: the people out, um with just a just a tiny

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Speaker 1: bit of information. Yea. Once you join, though, you're gonna

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Speaker 1: have to start building a profile, and it kind of

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Speaker 1: starts out easy and broad and then as you go

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Speaker 1: through the creating the profile, I mean it takes a minute. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And um, I guess we should point out to that

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Speaker 1: you're gonna have to input some kind of email address. Um,

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Speaker 1: it's up to you if you want to create an

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Speaker 1: email address for free, just for online dating. If you're

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Speaker 1: really like super freaked out about privacy, might not be

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Speaker 1: a bad idea. But most of these um, you're not

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Speaker 1: allowed to be emailed directly at first. It's either anonymous

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Speaker 1: through the site or the site has their own messaging system.

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Speaker 1: So it's pretty safe these days as far as protecting

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Speaker 1: your privacy. You shouldn't get too freaked out, right, It's

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Speaker 1: not like this nineteen seventies where there wasn't even not

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Speaker 1: great expectations. Oh yeah, where it's like this is my

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Speaker 1: address in the background exactly. Uh, you wanna your next step?

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Speaker 1: There is probably writing down some physical attributes about yourself,

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Speaker 1: because as much as people like a good personality in

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Speaker 1: a sense of humor, um, a lot of people are

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Speaker 1: probably looking for something specific or maybe just general physically.

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Speaker 1: So you've got height, weight, hair color, eye color, um,

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Speaker 1: body type, Yeah, whether you have tattoos or pierce things,

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Speaker 1: that kind of thing. Um. And then it gets a

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Speaker 1: little more involved in all of this is you're just

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Speaker 1: clicking bubbles or selecting from dropped down menus um, but

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Speaker 1: it gets a little a little more granular, like what

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Speaker 1: are your interests? And these aren't people snooping. You're doing

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Speaker 1: this for yourself to have a more complete profile. If

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Speaker 1: you're in there going well, what do they want to know?

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Speaker 1: What kind of movies I like? Then you you don't

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Speaker 1: get online dating, you know, Yeah, but maybe you should

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Speaker 1: go to like suspicious Minds or Suspicious Hearts online dating service. There, Mike,

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Speaker 1: you don't give out any personal information because yeah, or

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Speaker 1: the drop down and he says I like this, this,

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Speaker 1: that or none of your business and everyone just picked

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Speaker 1: none of your business. So your interests and activities? You

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Speaker 1: play guitar? Do you play sports? So you into reading? Um,

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Speaker 1: there's your favorite filmmaker? What do you like to do

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Speaker 1: on the weekends? All that kind of stuff will give

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Speaker 1: you a good give someone else a good idea of

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Speaker 1: kind of what you're like. Yeah, um, your income level, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: whether you have pets, how you feel about having pets, um,

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Speaker 1: if you live with your parents. These are all things

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Speaker 1: you can lie about. Well that's the thing, like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's it's I read somewhere that one in ten profiles

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Speaker 1: online or made up. Yeah. In fact, Okay, Cupe. It's

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Speaker 1: as the top four things people lie about most are height, income,

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Speaker 1: their photo, and their sexuality, which I thought was weird. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's weird. I didn't get that one. You're not doing

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Speaker 1: yourself any favors if you're lying about your sexuality out

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Speaker 1: of the gate. No, and supposedly also chock of people

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Speaker 1: who submitted to a poll about online dating said that

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Speaker 1: they had met somebody, met up with somebody in life.

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Speaker 1: Um who quote seriously misrepresented themselves in their dating profile.

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Speaker 1: Well we must just like, yeah, we should go and

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Speaker 1: talk about that. With your photo, you want to represent

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Speaker 1: yourself well, obviously, but you want to be accurate because again,

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Speaker 1: you're not going to do yourself any favors. You're not

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Speaker 1: gonna get a second date if you show up looking

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Speaker 1: like the hunchback of Notre Dame and you put a

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Speaker 1: picture of Tom Selick up there. Hey, hunchbacks need love

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Speaker 1: to and that's that's why there's hunchback mate dot com. Like, really,

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Speaker 1: we could just sit here all day and come up

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Speaker 1: with like feasible uh naymes for goiterer touch. I think

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Speaker 1: Jerry's grossed out. Did you you know? Goider's right. It's

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Speaker 1: from hyper hypothyroidism, which is the result of an iodine deficiency.

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Speaker 1: That's why there's iodie salt to prevent goiders hunt my grandmother.

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Speaker 1: That apparently also um, the the most preventable form of

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Speaker 1: mental retardation is treated with iodine or it results from

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Speaker 1: an iodine deficiency, which is the main reason why they

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Speaker 1: started adding that to salt, supposedly, And they think there's

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Speaker 1: this thing called the Flynn effect where inexplicably the intelligence

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Speaker 1: as matt by i Q over the twentieth century rose

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Speaker 1: like three points across the board in the West, and

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Speaker 1: they think it's possible that it's from iodiae salt. Oh,

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Speaker 1: we actually talked about that that podcast a couple of

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Speaker 1: weeks ago, did we really? I'm just very fast NATed

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Speaker 1: by that, apparently so fascinated that knocks out all memories

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Speaker 1: of speaking about it. But do you put that in

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Speaker 1: an online dating profile and just watch your your computer

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Speaker 1: light up? What do you think I talk about? For you? Me?

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Speaker 1: Drives are crazy? She's like, tell me about I saw

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Speaker 1: for the eight time. She loves that stuff. Um, all right,

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Speaker 1: so where are we here? Oh, you're gonna list all

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Speaker 1: these things You're gonna fill out your profile and then

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Speaker 1: you're gonna do that again, but under the notion of

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Speaker 1: what you're looking for in someone else, like what your

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Speaker 1: ideal mate do and look like, and then they're trying

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Speaker 1: to match you. Yeah, the computer takes this stuff, choose

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Speaker 1: it up like carrots and apples, and poops out some

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Speaker 1: some matches. True. Is that true? Because I think it's

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Speaker 1: made up frankly, now we'll get to the science of it.

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Speaker 1: So you call it that you mentioned your photo. Did

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Speaker 1: we say, don't put any personal information on there? No,

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00:20:57,960 --> 00:20:59,840
Speaker 1: that seems like a no brainer. They won't ask for

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Speaker 1: that stuff. But there are times where you can write

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Speaker 1: things about yourself. So don't feel free to say this

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Speaker 1: is where I live and this is my Social Security number? Right,

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Speaker 1: or this is where I work? Yea, which is one

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Speaker 1: that I I mean I could see overlooking that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that seems certainly, you know, like I work at Discovery Channel.

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Speaker 1: It's something like that. Yeah, where oh in d C

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Speaker 1: Oh cool, I'll be right there. Which floor I want

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Speaker 1: to show you how I can hold a knife in

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Speaker 1: my teeth. You're gonna love it. That'd be Pirates Love

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Speaker 1: dot Com. Uh No, that's Sea Captain. That's a sub

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Speaker 1: branch of that one, right, yeah, probably so. Alright, so

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Speaker 1: you mentioned free versus subscription. They both have their pluses

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Speaker 1: and minuses. Free is good because it's free and we

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Speaker 1: like that, Yes, but so do twelve year old boys. Exactly?

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Speaker 1: Who poses other people? Yeah, exactly. That is one of

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Speaker 1: the problems with free websites like this is that you

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Speaker 1: will get impostors. Uh that just jokes, ads, scam scams.

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00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:04,800
Speaker 1: There's like a whole Nigerian prince scam that's going on. Um. Actually,

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00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:08,719
Speaker 1: apparently there's something you can do. Uh, if you see

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00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,000
Speaker 1: a photo of somebody that you're interested in, you can

381
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:14,320
Speaker 1: put it to the test. Yeah, you can drag and

382
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:17,560
Speaker 1: copy it on your desktop and then dragon drop it

383
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:20,479
Speaker 1: on Google image search. You know you can search by image.

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Speaker 1: Does it reverse look up? Huh? It looks up that

385
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Speaker 1: image and it will show you all this stuff and

386
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:27,480
Speaker 1: it may say this is a scam. This is if

387
00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:30,680
Speaker 1: that same picture shows up all over the place under

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00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:33,760
Speaker 1: different names of an alisis whatever, that's a scamp. What

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Speaker 1: if what if you would if I did that to

390
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Speaker 1: your picture, would have said this is Josh Clark. Uh. Yeah,

391
00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:45,320
Speaker 1: probably it's a pretty pretty smart computer. They got there. Yeah. Yeah,

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00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:49,159
Speaker 1: that's pretty creepy though, But I guess that's good. Like

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Speaker 1: it's creepy on one hand, to be able to find

394
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Speaker 1: out who someone is from a photo. Oh no, no, no,

395
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:56,879
Speaker 1: no, no no, not like that. Sorry, no. If it if

396
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:58,480
Speaker 1: if it were like on a dating site and it

397
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Speaker 1: was just supposed to be somebody's photo, gotcha. If it

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Speaker 1: came up as like, yeah, here's this photo that you found,

399
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Speaker 1: here's the place that you found it, and here it

400
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Speaker 1: is on these eighteen other profiles with eighteen other names,

401
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:12,960
Speaker 1: then you know it's a scam. But you can go back.

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00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:16,879
Speaker 1: It's kind of like a back door way to figure

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Speaker 1: out if the person's made up profile. All right, So

404
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:23,359
Speaker 1: I guess that's good. My brain is not quite functioning today. Really,

405
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:26,440
Speaker 1: I'm saying things just a little out of syntax. Josh

406
00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:29,440
Speaker 1: is going on vacation tomorrow. You're in vacation mode. Last

407
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:32,119
Speaker 1: day of school, I told him to rip up his

408
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Speaker 1: research and throw it up in the air and run

409
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Speaker 1: out of the building after. I'm pretty sucked. You should

410
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:39,199
Speaker 1: do that. Um. All right. So the free ones, like

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00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,040
Speaker 1: we said, are good because they're free, bit bad because

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Speaker 1: of all that other stuff. The pay ones you gotta

413
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:46,600
Speaker 1: pay for, which isn't great, but a lot comes with that,

414
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:51,440
Speaker 1: which is like an identify identity verification process because they're

415
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:54,360
Speaker 1: gonna be using your credit card and stuff, so your

416
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:58,399
Speaker 1: information is going to be valid, valid and safe with

417
00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:01,439
Speaker 1: the paid site supposedly, or you can see the pants

418
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:05,280
Speaker 1: off of that paid site for failing to verify correctly. Yeah,

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00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:09,440
Speaker 1: I guess. So you can also access uh other features

420
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:11,680
Speaker 1: if you're a paid member, like maybe they'll bump you

421
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:14,440
Speaker 1: up in search, or you'll have access to more information

422
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:17,000
Speaker 1: that seems wrong, like paying for your profile to come

423
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:21,080
Speaker 1: up higher. That's that's the basis of the Internet. I guess,

424
00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:25,240
Speaker 1: you know, search referral. So, Chuck, we talked about making

425
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:28,760
Speaker 1: a profile. Let's talk about making a good profile. Yeah.

426
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:31,640
Speaker 1: And by the way, this was ed Grabanowski, right, the Grabster,

427
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:36,360
Speaker 1: I believe, so, yeah, an early grabster. Yeah. I think

428
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:39,200
Speaker 1: reading some of his examples here, I think we're learning

429
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:42,400
Speaker 1: about the grabster. Oh yeah, for sure. And I think

430
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:46,240
Speaker 1: he's talking about himself. But he does have some good

431
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:49,080
Speaker 1: ideas and I go out with him some good some

432
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:53,000
Speaker 1: good examples. Like he's basically saying, like, um, don't be

433
00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:57,120
Speaker 1: a hack when you're coming up with your profile, especially

434
00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:00,520
Speaker 1: when you're freewriting stuff. You know, like she was a

435
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:05,120
Speaker 1: cool picture of yourself. Chose a picture of yourself where, um,

436
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:08,840
Speaker 1: you're like, there's no not other people around, and you

437
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:11,359
Speaker 1: have a shirt on and you just don't look like

438
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:15,720
Speaker 1: a sleeves bag, you know. Um, use humor, Like, don't

439
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:18,959
Speaker 1: just say I'm funny, be funny. Yeah, don't just say

440
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 1: I'm interested in something, Demonstrate how you're interested in like,

441
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,000
Speaker 1: and he said, beginning with the subject line, and he

442
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 1: used two awesome examples. Frankly, yeah, bogart fan seeking unusual suspects. Okay,

443
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:33,080
Speaker 1: it was a half awesome example. The next one's awesome.

444
00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:37,719
Speaker 1: Go ahead, Uh, come sail away with this boating enthusiast

445
00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:40,800
Speaker 1: slash sticks fan. I think that is the grabster. I

446
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:43,000
Speaker 1: bet you anything that's Yeah, how would you come up

447
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:46,480
Speaker 1: with that? Like just using your imagination, I'd go out

448
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,240
Speaker 1: with that person. Um, you want to make sure that

449
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:52,639
Speaker 1: you fill out your whole form everything. Don't be lazy.

450
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:55,439
Speaker 1: If you're lazy, it sends a very clear signal that

451
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:58,320
Speaker 1: one you're lazy, which is not a good prospect for

452
00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:01,359
Speaker 1: anybody unless people are in that well that's then you

453
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:05,840
Speaker 1: go on lazy date. Uh. And then it also says,

454
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:10,679
Speaker 1: um that I'm not really that into this. Yeah, this

455
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:13,800
Speaker 1: is halfhearted. Yeah, and definitely don't say my friends put

456
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:16,000
Speaker 1: me up to this. I'm usually don't do things like this,

457
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,399
Speaker 1: but I'm not a loser, so I don't know. I

458
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:20,920
Speaker 1: don't normally do that because you're insulting the very people

459
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:24,680
Speaker 1: that you're reaching out to. Yeah. Not not a good idea. Um.

460
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:27,399
Speaker 1: And like we said, you want to not just talk

461
00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:32,200
Speaker 1: about yourself, you want to you want to demonstrate yourself. Yeah.

462
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:35,639
Speaker 1: And Ed again says instead of saying I enjoy Stanley

463
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:38,040
Speaker 1: Kubrick film, say the other night, I was watching a

464
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:40,560
Speaker 1: clockwork Orange and I found myself thinking, would be a

465
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 1: lot more fun to watch and discuss with someone else,

466
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:46,560
Speaker 1: to suddenly punch as we're walking down along the waters

467
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:50,000
Speaker 1: movie about random violence and rape and torture. Be a

468
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:54,440
Speaker 1: lot more fun to watch it with someone. Or instead

469
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:58,639
Speaker 1: of I'm funny, say I love quoting Monty Python or

470
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:02,320
Speaker 1: Simpson's lines. You know that could be us. Well, we

471
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 1: do that all the time. Uh. He says. Another way

472
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:07,560
Speaker 1: to be successful is to just know who you are

473
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:09,399
Speaker 1: and know what you want and know what you're looking for.

474
00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:12,720
Speaker 1: And that's a big plus for people who get fixed

475
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:15,359
Speaker 1: up on dates. Like your friends might think someone's perfect

476
00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:18,640
Speaker 1: for you, but who really knows best but yourself who's

477
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:20,560
Speaker 1: perfect for you? Yeah, so you can avoid all that

478
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:23,800
Speaker 1: the clap trap of getting set up on a bad date. Well,

479
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:27,560
Speaker 1: that's the whole role of online dating. Computer algorithms and

480
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:33,840
Speaker 1: apps and individuals are have taken over from these traditional

481
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:39,200
Speaker 1: roles of family friends, um, who co workers, Yeah, of

482
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:42,960
Speaker 1: of match of matchmaking. It's people taking it into their

483
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:46,959
Speaker 1: own hands or relying on a computer algorithm to do it. Yeah,

484
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 1: which is I mean, that's the whole basis of online dating.

485
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 1: That's the whole point of it. To me, it makes sense.

486
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:54,639
Speaker 1: It's just a timesaver, like who's got time to go

487
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,600
Speaker 1: through just the random maybe I'll meet someone thing. I

488
00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:01,040
Speaker 1: think that's probably what ultimately a hundred years from now,

489
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:04,760
Speaker 1: historians anthropologis will look back on and explain the prevalence

490
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 1: of online dating. That's why it's just more efficient, I guess. Um.

491
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:14,119
Speaker 1: And then lastly, this one's extremely important too. When you're

492
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:20,680
Speaker 1: creating a good profile, use grammar wisely. Yeah, don't don't

493
00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:25,520
Speaker 1: like check from misspellings punctuation, like put some thought into it,

494
00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:29,920
Speaker 1: because you'll look like a dummy if you have a

495
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:34,360
Speaker 1: poorly worded profile. Yeah. Or again, if that's your thing,

496
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:36,199
Speaker 1: if you want to type the letter you instead of

497
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:38,640
Speaker 1: y O U, then go to dumb Dumb love dot com.

498
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,600
Speaker 1: Do that and find fellow dumb dumbs. You're in the

499
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:43,600
Speaker 1: finding like minded people. You should be honest, you know,

500
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:46,880
Speaker 1: all right. You can also go to the rival site,

501
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:50,920
Speaker 1: oh dot com, so check before we go on. I

502
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:54,680
Speaker 1: like lazy date dot com. Pretty pretty soon. Uh, you're

503
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:57,320
Speaker 1: going to um be getting ready. You're gonna put on

504
00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:01,160
Speaker 1: some aftershavee. You're very nice for off old tuxedo shirt,

505
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:04,480
Speaker 1: some palm made in your hair, and your high waiter

506
00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:08,959
Speaker 1: pants with your white sox. It's time to go out

507
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,640
Speaker 1: there in the big wild world and actually meet somebody. Yeah.

508
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:14,560
Speaker 1: And this is after you have paying to this person. Yeah.

509
00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:22,240
Speaker 1: And that's after this message and we're back chucking. It's

510
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:24,840
Speaker 1: time to go out in the world. Yeah. Like I said,

511
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:27,840
Speaker 1: this is um after you have been pained or paying

512
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 1: someone else. That's right, so we should we should probably

513
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:32,320
Speaker 1: talk about that first. Like it's it's not just like

514
00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:34,040
Speaker 1: you make a profile, and all of a sudden, you

515
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:36,560
Speaker 1: have a date and you go out like there is

516
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:41,120
Speaker 1: a first contact procedure. Sure, and um, it doesn't necessarily

517
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:46,840
Speaker 1: happen very quickly. Um, and some people choose to make contact. Apparently,

518
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:49,960
Speaker 1: you don't have to say much in your in your message.

519
00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:55,080
Speaker 1: When you're making contact with somebody, the grabster says something like, UM, hey,

520
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:56,800
Speaker 1: I saw your profile and it seems like we have

521
00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:59,400
Speaker 1: some common interest. Take a look at my profile and

522
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:03,000
Speaker 1: if you're interested, would send me a message? Is probably sufficient? Uh,

523
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:06,120
Speaker 1: And he says you might send a message to several

524
00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:09,280
Speaker 1: people at once, one at a time, and then after

525
00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:12,640
Speaker 1: you sent your messages, there's nothing you can do but wait. Yeah,

526
00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:14,440
Speaker 1: And that I think goes back to how you are

527
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:17,720
Speaker 1: generally as a person. If before online dating, you're the

528
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:19,480
Speaker 1: kind of dude that would go to a bar and

529
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:22,280
Speaker 1: try and get like fifteen phone numbers, then you might

530
00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:26,440
Speaker 1: want to scatter. You might take the shotgun approach. Uh.

531
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:28,360
Speaker 1: Or if you're not that kind of guy, if you're

532
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:30,960
Speaker 1: like me and never talk to girls at bars because

533
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:34,280
Speaker 1: you were just hanging out with your your buddies, then

534
00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 1: you might want to be a little more singular in

535
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:38,480
Speaker 1: your approach and say like this, this lady sounds really nice.

536
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:40,960
Speaker 1: Not these twelve ladies sound really nice. Let me see

537
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:42,720
Speaker 1: if one of them likes me back. She sounds like

538
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:45,800
Speaker 1: such a super lady. It depends on what kind of

539
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:48,360
Speaker 1: a hurry you're in. I guess it would be a

540
00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:50,680
Speaker 1: little more methodical. But I've known I have friends that

541
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:53,959
Speaker 1: you know, take the shotgun approach. And I shouldn't keep

542
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,239
Speaker 1: saying that because that implies like you're killing somebody, right,

543
00:30:56,840 --> 00:31:00,640
Speaker 1: I just mean you're spreading a wide, uh, testing a wide.

544
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:07,360
Speaker 1: So that's the capturing people in nets approach. That's right, um.

545
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:09,719
Speaker 1: And we should also point out to that there are

546
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:11,280
Speaker 1: a couple of ways ago about it. You can either

547
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:15,200
Speaker 1: get matched with someone through their algorithms that we talk about,

548
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:19,160
Speaker 1: or you can just do the searching yourself, like they

549
00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:20,840
Speaker 1: can narrow down for you, and you could do it,

550
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,280
Speaker 1: you know, just search through until you find someone you like. Right,

551
00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:25,680
Speaker 1: And there's a lot of sites out there that have

552
00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 1: no algorithm whatsoever. It's just that questionnaire you filled out

553
00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:35,120
Speaker 1: is matched up with other questionnaires, and the the more

554
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:38,240
Speaker 1: similar answers there are in the two questionnaires, the higher

555
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:41,959
Speaker 1: the ranking of the person who um is suggested that

556
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:44,840
Speaker 1: you contact like you've got twelve things in common with

557
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:47,720
Speaker 1: this person. And then there's other sites um, which we'll

558
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:50,240
Speaker 1: talk about a little more that do use algorithms that

559
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:57,160
Speaker 1: have like basically UM proprietary algorithms supposedly do a lot

560
00:31:57,200 --> 00:32:01,480
Speaker 1: more than that, just um comparing Simler questionnaires. Yeah, which

561
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,360
Speaker 1: one is that? Well? E harmony? Does they compare twenty

562
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:08,880
Speaker 1: nine dimensions of compatibility key dimensions? Yeah, that's right. I

563
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:13,040
Speaker 1: believe match dot com uses algorithms. UM. Chemistry dot com,

564
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:18,360
Speaker 1: which is apparently a subsite of match dot com, uses

565
00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:24,680
Speaker 1: a personality inventory that the anthropologist Helen Fisher came up with. Yeah. Yeah, um,

566
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:29,280
Speaker 1: it's supposedly is kind of worky. Yeah. I don't know

567
00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 1: if that's the thing. No one has any idea how

568
00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:35,240
Speaker 1: well this stuff works. Well, the company each side is

569
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:38,600
Speaker 1: going to tout their own method and say that we're

570
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:42,320
Speaker 1: really pairing you with someone who's like you. But I

571
00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:44,320
Speaker 1: think in general they probably do a decent job for

572
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:46,840
Speaker 1: filling out all these things and someone has a lot

573
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:50,440
Speaker 1: of similar interest. It's not brain surgery to pair those

574
00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:52,400
Speaker 1: people up and say you might like each other. Well,

575
00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:59,440
Speaker 1: supposedly like people who are professional personality inventorists. That's a

576
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:03,000
Speaker 1: real thing out, Um, have sat down and taken these

577
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:07,280
Speaker 1: things and still are only scoring about and grabs their

578
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 1: points out like these these people are professionals. If they

579
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:12,160
Speaker 1: set the average person down in front of the one

580
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:17,239
Speaker 1: of these personality inventories, they're they're they're not. We have

581
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:22,640
Speaker 1: a terrible ability to express what we want and who

582
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:27,560
Speaker 1: we are, right um. And as Helen Fisher was pointing out,

583
00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:30,120
Speaker 1: like we were terrible at that kind of stuff. But

584
00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:33,360
Speaker 1: if you can pay attention to people's behavior, then you

585
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:37,640
Speaker 1: can start making predictions very accurately, so they were saying

586
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:40,280
Speaker 1: in this article, and from what from other places I've seen,

587
00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:44,640
Speaker 1: like those those algorithms don't necessarily do anything more than

588
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:49,040
Speaker 1: just the two comparing inventories. Would like comparing the two

589
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:53,080
Speaker 1: questionnaires and finding, you know, twenty eight similarities and there's

590
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:56,040
Speaker 1: your match right there. But like you said, the other

591
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:58,520
Speaker 1: way to go is to browse. Yeah, and I would

592
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:00,880
Speaker 1: recommend and this is just how I would do it,

593
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:04,840
Speaker 1: is that there are sites that give weighted answers to

594
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:09,120
Speaker 1: certain attributes. Like it's too black and white to me

595
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:11,880
Speaker 1: to say, I like blonde, I want a girl who's

596
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:16,280
Speaker 1: twenty five and who's a democrat. Um, you might feel

597
00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:18,920
Speaker 1: really strongly about like a political belief, so you can

598
00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:21,759
Speaker 1: say that's that one's super important to me, But Hair

599
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:23,920
Speaker 1: Keller really is not that big of a deal. So

600
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:25,719
Speaker 1: then that's down into the algorithm and you get a

601
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:29,640
Speaker 1: little more specific, like they're not gonna pair some super

602
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:33,799
Speaker 1: liberal person with a tea party person if they both

603
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:36,160
Speaker 1: say that's really important to them, it's like that's one

604
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:38,560
Speaker 1: of their values that they stick by it. Or I

605
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:40,879
Speaker 1: hate dogs and they pair to you with a dog lover,

606
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:44,640
Speaker 1: like you need to tell someone I really hate dogs. Well,

607
00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:47,600
Speaker 1: that that goes back to being upfront and saying knowing

608
00:34:47,640 --> 00:34:50,680
Speaker 1: what you want and saying it yeah, because apparently that

609
00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:53,160
Speaker 1: that saves a lot of time as well. All Right,

610
00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:55,680
Speaker 1: so you've made contact with some people, some people who

611
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:57,960
Speaker 1: have gotten in touch with you. You've messaged back and

612
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:01,360
Speaker 1: forth and you said, hey, let's meet in real life.

613
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:05,680
Speaker 1: The next step that you have to take, unless you're

614
00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:08,960
Speaker 1: insane or just a dummy and you're on dumb Dumb

615
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:12,520
Speaker 1: dot com um, is to talk to this person on

616
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:15,520
Speaker 1: the phone, go to a pay phone, have them go

617
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:18,280
Speaker 1: to a pay phone. It doesn't matter. Good luck finding

618
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:21,200
Speaker 1: a payphone. You have to talk on the phone, because

619
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:23,600
Speaker 1: right then and there you're going to find out if

620
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:25,759
Speaker 1: it is a twelve year old boy. And we talked

621
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:28,799
Speaker 1: about earlier who liked who made a joke profile on

622
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:31,359
Speaker 1: a free site. Yeah, it's a good way to root

623
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:35,840
Speaker 1: out just some Uh, the biggest piece of dishonesty. Sure.

624
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:38,520
Speaker 1: I also imagine that you could probably find out pretty

625
00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:41,839
Speaker 1: quickly if they're actually boring. Yeah. Sure, you can learn

626
00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:43,799
Speaker 1: a lot by talking to someone. And if you think

627
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 1: you can learn everything you need to know from emails,

628
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:49,279
Speaker 1: you're wrong. Well yeah, I mean, like it's not true.

629
00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:54,000
Speaker 1: We've figured out by now how to perform online, you know,

630
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:56,719
Speaker 1: like people just know how to be online and what's

631
00:35:56,719 --> 00:35:59,480
Speaker 1: expected of them online. It's it is much more difficult

632
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:05,280
Speaker 1: to talk. Yeah, as we quite often find ourselves saying

633
00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:10,560
Speaker 1: things aren't good. Right, good. So then you want to

634
00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:12,520
Speaker 1: go out in the real wide world, and you're going

635
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:16,719
Speaker 1: to arrange for Chuck a very public meeting YEA, A

636
00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:21,320
Speaker 1: crowded place ye, lots of people a k A. Witnesses. Uh,

637
00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:24,719
Speaker 1: And you should set up a date that is going

638
00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:28,319
Speaker 1: to last no more than about an hour quick dinner, yeah,

639
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:33,640
Speaker 1: meet for coffee, maybe a movie, but a short one. Yeah,

640
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:40,520
Speaker 1: and that's that's. Um, we'll meet for a TV show right. Um.

641
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:43,760
Speaker 1: That is for your own safety and for your own sake,

642
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:46,359
Speaker 1: because sometimes you get it wrong or the dating site

643
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:48,040
Speaker 1: gets it wrong and you end up with someone who's

644
00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:50,279
Speaker 1: not a match, and you don't want to waste each

645
00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:52,799
Speaker 1: other's time, So make it quick. You can all if

646
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:56,040
Speaker 1: a feeling, if you're having a great time you both are,

647
00:36:56,520 --> 00:36:59,120
Speaker 1: you can always extend that date. Sure, say hey, let's

648
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:02,520
Speaker 1: go that wine bar too, because dinner, dinner was great.

649
00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:04,440
Speaker 1: I'd like to keep talking to you, right. It's harder

650
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:07,120
Speaker 1: to shorten a date, right, Like, remember how we were

651
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:08,879
Speaker 1: going to go to that wine bar after this, Let's

652
00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:11,160
Speaker 1: not do that. And if I found out I hate

653
00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:14,400
Speaker 1: your guts. Yeah, and it's real easy to say, you

654
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:16,640
Speaker 1: know what, I lied, I don't have to go help

655
00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:19,319
Speaker 1: my mom clean out her sock drawer. I really like you.

656
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:22,120
Speaker 1: Let's keep the staate going. And it's super easy to say, no,

657
00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:24,120
Speaker 1: I really do have to go help my mom clean

658
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:28,799
Speaker 1: under sock drawer. It's crazy. Yeah. Um, you also want

659
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:31,800
Speaker 1: to meet in public, like we said, for your safety

660
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:35,040
Speaker 1: as um, there's a woman from Las Vegas who's suing

661
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:37,640
Speaker 1: Match dot Com for ten million dollars right now because

662
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:40,440
Speaker 1: there was a man who she met and dated for

663
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:43,560
Speaker 1: like eight days who four months later came to her

664
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 1: house and stabbed her a bunch of times and like

665
00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:49,200
Speaker 1: kicked her head and neck and left her for dead.

666
00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:52,840
Speaker 1: Was this after their relationship had gone bad or just yeah?

667
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:56,040
Speaker 1: So they dated for eight days. Four months later he

668
00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:58,920
Speaker 1: shows up at her house and this guy apparently confessed

669
00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:01,440
Speaker 1: to murdering another woman he met on match dot com too,

670
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:06,600
Speaker 1: and then killed himself in jail. Wow. Yeah, And there's

671
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:08,960
Speaker 1: it happens to men as well. There's a man who

672
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:11,960
Speaker 1: arranged to meet a woman and was beaten and robbed

673
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:14,799
Speaker 1: by the woman and her son. So you you don't

674
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:16,600
Speaker 1: want to invite people to your house and he's like,

675
00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:24,120
Speaker 1: you didn't tell me you how to son? That's nice? Um,

676
00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:25,520
Speaker 1: So you don't want to meet him at your house,

677
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:28,640
Speaker 1: You want to meet him in public? Yeah, just protect yourself.

678
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:32,560
Speaker 1: He has common sense and caution. Don't be a dummy

679
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:36,440
Speaker 1: that'd suggests a college sporting event. Yeah, you know, I

680
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:38,600
Speaker 1: Colledge was very because Ed wants to take a girl

681
00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:41,480
Speaker 1: to a college sporting event, not pro. It doesn't like pro.

682
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:45,080
Speaker 1: If it's like pro, he would have written pro. Yeah,

683
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:52,200
Speaker 1: that's true. Uh you got anything else? Yeah, I totally do.

684
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:58,040
Speaker 1: So we were saying that, um, the this online dating thing,

685
00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:02,360
Speaker 1: the sites themselves, there's they're still growing and it's becoming

686
00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:05,640
Speaker 1: more and more normal. But then apps are becoming a

687
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:10,319
Speaker 1: little more um prevalent as well. Yeah, Like there's one

688
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:15,480
Speaker 1: called Tinder where you can see based on GPS. Is

689
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:18,759
Speaker 1: it Facebook profiles? I don't know, or maybe you have

690
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:20,960
Speaker 1: to make a Tinder profile I don't know, of the

691
00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:24,319
Speaker 1: people who are literally right around you at like a

692
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:26,840
Speaker 1: coffee house or a bar or a club or whatever,

693
00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:32,000
Speaker 1: and you can basically say I'm interested in this person,

694
00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:34,000
Speaker 1: I like how this person looks, I like this person.

695
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:38,520
Speaker 1: And if the those people on Tinder say the same

696
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:42,600
Speaker 1: thing about you, then you can communicate with one another. Apparently,

697
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:44,960
Speaker 1: like that's a big thing now. Yeah, some of them

698
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 1: are are less about dating and more about just kind

699
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:52,479
Speaker 1: of hooking up. Maybe like, hey, I found someone who's

700
00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:56,040
Speaker 1: two blocks for me. Do you want to go kiss

701
00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:59,759
Speaker 1: each other for a little while in that alley? You

702
00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:02,080
Speaker 1: can and do that, and I don't I don't know,

703
00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:04,160
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's an online dating site, but

704
00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:08,279
Speaker 1: it's a thing that exists. Now. Well, yeah, dating, it

705
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:11,600
Speaker 1: depends on your interpretation of the word date. Um. And

706
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:15,840
Speaker 1: then lastly, Chuck Wired got together with Okay Cuping and

707
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:19,399
Speaker 1: match dot com and did some data mining and came

708
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:23,759
Speaker 1: up with some tips for um, how to optimize your

709
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:28,600
Speaker 1: online dating profile. Uh so, for example, this is real.

710
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:33,240
Speaker 1: This is based on Okay cuping and match dot COM's figures.

711
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:38,680
Speaker 1: And apparently that's another surprising byproduct is these dating sites,

712
00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:42,640
Speaker 1: the raw data they do have are serving the fields

713
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:46,120
Speaker 1: of like anthropology and sociology. They're starting to open up

714
00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:49,759
Speaker 1: their their raw data archives and say go go get

715
00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:53,200
Speaker 1: whatever you want from us, and it's helping. It's helping

716
00:40:53,239 --> 00:40:56,080
Speaker 1: things like wired. So if you're a guy and you

717
00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:58,920
Speaker 1: have a tattoo, it's cool. If you're a woman you

718
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:02,120
Speaker 1: have a tattoo, you're you're going to have a harder

719
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 1: time getting a date. Really, statistically speaking, mass dot com

720
00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 1: and Okay keeping all right, if you talk about karaoke,

721
00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:14,919
Speaker 1: you're going to bomb. Really yeah wow, this one says

722
00:41:15,120 --> 00:41:17,640
Speaker 1: be hotter than you are. Now that's a good tip.

723
00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:22,879
Speaker 1: Send a picture that underrepresents yourself slightly and then show

724
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 1: up and be like, oh, yeah, actually dropped ten pounds.

725
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:29,680
Speaker 1: Check check it out if you if you are a female,

726
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:34,240
Speaker 1: you want to talk about London, New York City, yoga, surfing,

727
00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:37,560
Speaker 1: and the word athlete. If you use those in your profile,

728
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:41,719
Speaker 1: you are likelier to get dates. You all, you want

729
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:44,200
Speaker 1: to always refer to yourself as a girl, never as

730
00:41:44,239 --> 00:41:49,160
Speaker 1: a woman. Okay, and if you're a boy, you never

731
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:51,960
Speaker 1: want to use the word girl when referring to women.

732
00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:55,840
Speaker 1: You always use the word women. Interesting. Someone took us

733
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:57,760
Speaker 1: to task the other day in an email about saying

734
00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:01,920
Speaker 1: female like we should say or should you should not

735
00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:04,719
Speaker 1: say female? Saying you guys don't say male, you say

736
00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:06,759
Speaker 1: female though, And I was like, I didn't know that

737
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:09,120
Speaker 1: was a bad association with about what I would have

738
00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:11,879
Speaker 1: think saying like dames or broads would be superfensive. But

739
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:14,360
Speaker 1: I thought female was like a like kind of the

740
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:18,040
Speaker 1: straight and narrow way to go with identification of someone's gender. Yeah,

741
00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:20,720
Speaker 1: I'm confused, I almost dude. I didn't get a response,

742
00:42:20,719 --> 00:42:24,600
Speaker 1: so maybe I misunderstood it. Apparently Wired says men who

743
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:29,360
Speaker 1: use the word whom get more contacts from women. The

744
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:33,799
Speaker 1: word what whom? W h O m oh, yeah, even

745
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:37,920
Speaker 1: when it's used incorrectly, I guess that's that's that's an

746
00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:42,040
Speaker 1: impressive thing to say. Whom. Uh. If you're a man,

747
00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:45,839
Speaker 1: you can talk about crafting and your children. If you're

748
00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:48,120
Speaker 1: a woman, don't ever bring up crafting and never bring

749
00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:50,920
Speaker 1: up your children. Man, that is just so wrong. It

750
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:53,080
Speaker 1: is very wrong, you know. I mean like, this is

751
00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:57,200
Speaker 1: this is what I'm talking about. Anthropologically speaking, This is

752
00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:02,120
Speaker 1: like misogyny is alive. And yeah, what else you got? Uh?

753
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 1: Radio Head is the only band you should ever talk about? Apparently, Um,

754
00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:14,160
Speaker 1: let's see, that's funny. The word retirement is attracted as

755
00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:17,560
Speaker 1: far as it's related to men's profiles, but not women's. Yeah,

756
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:20,040
Speaker 1: if you're on wealthy men dot com and you see

757
00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 1: the word retirement, that's probably pretty good, I'm sure. Uh.

758
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:28,400
Speaker 1: And then also, if you have a shureless pick of yourself,

759
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:31,480
Speaker 1: you're not gonna do very well if you put a

760
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:34,919
Speaker 1: shortless pick of yourself as a man or woman, I

761
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:37,440
Speaker 1: imagine either way, but probably it's even worse with men.

762
00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:40,640
Speaker 1: But it is true. I mean, like, even if you're

763
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:42,440
Speaker 1: a girl and you just put up like kind of

764
00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:46,160
Speaker 1: a smudgy selfie or something like that. Yeah, it definitely

765
00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:48,359
Speaker 1: says a certain amount too, and you're gonna attract like

766
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:50,759
Speaker 1: a certain kind of guy that you might not be

767
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 1: interested in. You just said smutty selfie. Ye. Yeah, it's

768
00:43:56,560 --> 00:43:59,399
Speaker 1: almost like the Golden rule. Treat others as you want

769
00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:02,080
Speaker 1: to be treated. Its represent yourself how you want to

770
00:44:02,120 --> 00:44:05,359
Speaker 1: be viewed. Well, yeah, I mean, if you want to

771
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:11,040
Speaker 1: represent yourself as a smutty person, then put a smutty selfie.

772
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:13,239
Speaker 1: But you're the people you get, you know what you're

773
00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:16,680
Speaker 1: gonna be getting, right, that's exactly I think that's well,

774
00:44:16,719 --> 00:44:18,759
Speaker 1: well put like you're you're asking for it in that

775
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:21,880
Speaker 1: case from the dregs of society to send you a

776
00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:25,680
Speaker 1: date request at that point and to try like hell

777
00:44:25,800 --> 00:44:29,200
Speaker 1: to find out your address. That's right. Uh. If you

778
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:31,719
Speaker 1: want to learn more about online dating, go give it

779
00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:34,040
Speaker 1: a shot. There's free sites and stuff. You don't have

780
00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 1: to listen to us we've never even done it. Or

781
00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:39,840
Speaker 1: you could also look up this article from Ed Grabanowski

782
00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:43,840
Speaker 1: for some pointers and tips. Um by by typing online

783
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:45,600
Speaker 1: dating in the search bar at house to works dot

784
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:48,200
Speaker 1: com and let's see, everybody has the search bar, which

785
00:44:48,239 --> 00:44:53,280
Speaker 1: means it's time for listener. Mail you said it's muddy selfie,

786
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:55,120
Speaker 1: so it's time for listen. If there's something wrong with it,

787
00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:58,279
Speaker 1: I just think it's a funny pairing of words. Well,

788
00:44:58,320 --> 00:45:01,680
Speaker 1: it's the on a montopia. No know that alliteration, Yeah, literation,

789
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:04,880
Speaker 1: It sounds funny. Aunt amount of would be like um

790
00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:10,600
Speaker 1: smooty popping, right, I think so? Or yeah? Is that

791
00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:15,080
Speaker 1: when the word sounds like the sound? Okay, hey guys,

792
00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:19,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call this pinged from Sacramento. Hey, guys, have

793
00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:22,640
Speaker 1: just finished the podcast on robots replacing human doctors. There's

794
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:24,279
Speaker 1: a reason I don't think we'll see that soon. Um.

795
00:45:24,280 --> 00:45:27,719
Speaker 1: Doctors are trained scientists who specialize in human health. The

796
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:30,720
Speaker 1: whole reason we need trained scientists doctors is that human

797
00:45:30,719 --> 00:45:34,080
Speaker 1: physiology and chemistry very enough. That's not sufficient to treat

798
00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:36,439
Speaker 1: each patient in the same way. If we can treat

799
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:39,319
Speaker 1: all patients the same way, nurses and diagnostic manuals or

800
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:42,640
Speaker 1: computer systems would be sufficient. Because all humans don't respond

801
00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:45,040
Speaker 1: the same to the same treatment, you actually do need

802
00:45:45,080 --> 00:45:48,279
Speaker 1: a specialized scientists actively involved in the process. Still, I

803
00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:51,200
Speaker 1: think robots or computer systems will replace many human doctors

804
00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:54,239
Speaker 1: in time, though, we just need more intelligent robots, ones

805
00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:58,080
Speaker 1: that are capable of thought beyond a simple preprogrammed or spots.

806
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:01,280
Speaker 1: Our current tech as you indicated, suitable for initial screening

807
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:04,880
Speaker 1: and such. With thinking machines, we could actually replace doctors,

808
00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:08,320
Speaker 1: as you said, With thinking machines, we could actually replace doctors,

809
00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:10,680
Speaker 1: and as you said, they'd be more current on their

810
00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:13,840
Speaker 1: medical knowledge. The big question would be whether such machines

811
00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:18,440
Speaker 1: would consent to serve humanity as our current automatons do.

812
00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:22,839
Speaker 1: And that is from Andy Ping and Sacramento. Nice. Thanks

813
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:25,160
Speaker 1: a lot, Andy Ping. That's the kind of name you

814
00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:28,799
Speaker 1: say first and last. Never just say Andy or Mr Ping,

815
00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:33,200
Speaker 1: Andy Pink or Dr Pain Maybe is he a doctor? No?

816
00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:38,720
Speaker 1: I don't think so. Is the evil super villain? Yes? Okay,

817
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:42,520
Speaker 1: then Dr Pain it is uh. If you want us

818
00:46:42,680 --> 00:46:44,839
Speaker 1: to make a nickname for you, or just say your

819
00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:46,800
Speaker 1: first and last name together, because that's how it should

820
00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:48,919
Speaker 1: be said. You can get in touch with us by

821
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:52,080
Speaker 1: tweeting to us at s Y s K podcast. You

822
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:54,600
Speaker 1: can join us on Facebook dot com slash stuff you

823
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:57,400
Speaker 1: should know. You can send us an email to Stuff

824
00:46:57,440 --> 00:47:00,799
Speaker 1: Podcast at Discovery dot com and is always check us

825
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:02,720
Speaker 1: out at our home on the web. Stuff you Should

826
00:47:02,719 --> 00:47:10,120
Speaker 1: Know dot com for more on this and thousands of

827
00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:19,759
Speaker 1: other topics. Is it How stuff works dot com? Hey.

828
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:23,840
Speaker 1: Netflix streams TV shows and movies directly to your TV, computer,

829
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:27,520
Speaker 1: wireless device, or game console. You can get a thirty

830
00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:31,120
Speaker 1: day free trial membership. Go to www dot Netflix dot

831
00:47:31,120 --> 00:47:32,759
Speaker 1: com slash stuff and sign up now.